we’ll INdulge with our SHADOWS

0:00This is really funny. I don't even know if I can verbalize it. It's so obvious too. It's like I was just scrolling through this stupid app and looking at all these you know they send you who likes you and then you can read through and see your thoughts and then you can agree to match or not and you know you can tell by their some of the front photos I'm not saying I'm not suggesting anybody just base their decision on a photo and certainly the front but it is comical that you can find that rhythm and that pattern where some you can tell by the very first shot what they're there for and and it's contradictory to what they'll say right like I'm trying to think of an example like they'll

1:01be like a very cocky front photo like with the way they're cocking their head the way they're smiling the whole get up is clearly arrogance and I don't know that they even know that I'm not suggesting they're conscious of it but that it'll say like they want a long-term relationship right and it's like well you don't even have a long-term relationship with yourself how could you have one with a nut and and so then I looked at the age right and and so like these patterns all pop up and it's always somebody usually usually actually there's quite a few that are older too but this this particular one this morning was a was a younger age but but close and gap me it was like maybe four years or six years not much and I thought it was funny and then as I was scrolling I kept seeing that pattern because of course any time you see it once then you see it everywhere and then I of course of course what do I do I stop and pause and and look over past patterns and and I had found it interesting

2:06how there has been that delayed gap with quite a few people who would spark an interest to some degree but then it was clearly a gap right and it it was like a delayed maturity gap or something of this nature and and then and then it was like so of course as soon as I start to think that they start to flash me scenes and they start to talk to me at the same time I start to contemplate and it was just comical in that everybody continues to grow but if you're not choosing consciously to grow it's maybe like everybody is changing as probably the correct word not everybody grows because right you the growing or your dying but you're always changing a morphing and evolving but you could be devolving right it's so it's like a

3:09it seems like the the gap has widened right and it's well because one is actually growing and the other one is not so we can look at it like shrinking or dying right they're reverting backwards they're going back and and and sometimes that's not even necessarily the case it could be they could be maintaining right so that's stagnation and so if you continue to grow the gap still grows because even if they're stuck in stagnant you're still growing so the gap still grows and so what if like this is all obvious stuff right it's all obvious it was just how it struck me and how it hit me was really funny to me I don't know why it was even so I can't even recall now what the one thing that struck me that was so comical I think maybe all of it together but there was something there was something and maybe it was the fact that I had at one point resonated with it or

4:13one point fell for it or one point played into it right like I had written that earlier post about this along those lines where you sometimes we want something but we can see clearly what it is and we're not being real with ourselves like why we want what we want and so we will dumb ourselves down which is dangerous it's really dangerous and it's manipulative and it's bad and it's wrong right like it would be much better for me to be like look we are not on the same wavelength at all you aren't worthy of me right and I'm a complete asshole and I totally just want to utilize your body so sit down shut the fuck up right and I'm right and it's almost like then they have the choice to to be like bitch get the fuck out of here right because then then then you can also interpret

5:15that in many different ways where it's like are you elevated if you were settling for less or utilizing another right we could have this argument so many different ways I find as you know I find human behavior and thought fascinating and it's also I was gonna say taboo in a sense where sometimes we will indulge with our shadows will entertain things that we know are not good for us that are not for our highest and best for that indulgence but again that is a slippery slippery slope and can be it's like how well do you know yourself and how well do you love yourself and how well like how how in charge and control are you in other words how can I say it better where it's like I think it's easier to visualize it but maybe for me if you say like the angel in devil

6:17within right and so when you let your devil run the show do you have agreements with your devil like are you really in charge of your devil when you allow your devil to step up or is your devil really stronger than you and if you let him out of the cage God knows what'll happen or when you'll be in charge again right like how in control of you are you and how well do you know you I don't think most people do because we haven't taken the time to we've just allowed life to flow over us more or less right we haven't taken the reins we haven't chosen and and and and we've talked about this so much but it's because I think a lot of times people don't recognize their own power and they're they are always looking outside themselves so it is always the comparison the competing the judging the determining in other words you could look at somebody else's life and they keep showing this it's kind of like the

7:21karate kit right they keep showing the old man the master he loved his life and he was the master of it and he was choosing everything consciously but somebody else could look at that and be like that sad old man who lived you know whatever because they knew nothing truly about him they didn't know his level of mastery and he was at the peace he was at because of loving himself and mastering himself and looking at his internal demons and and facing those fears and indulging in them in times and whatnot and and so if you'd spend so much time focusing on another or judging another or demon what you want based on another you're short-changing yourself because you're not really getting to know yourself and you could be missing out on getting to know that other person like that person who has mastered so much you've deemed boring or you've deemed whatever meanwhile they were the goldmine who could

8:22have elevated you right yet you didn't want to it's gonna say dim dim yourself or diminish yourself because you were judging you were judging that you were diminishing oneself by by wasting your time right and meanwhile that would have been the most valuable use of one's time and none of it matters none of this matters right like it really it has to be a matter of it really has to be a matter of are you consciously deciding are you using your tool for your advantage for what feels best for you or is it really running you because you are thinking on how to get from outside yourself which means it's running you your demons are running you because they're telling you you're lacking something and you're required to

9:24reach outside yourself to take it from another that's a lie so if you're letting that lie run your show you're not running your show you're not in charge you're not at peace you're always going to be chasing that so if you let those lies those demons those those voices of comparing and competing and judging run you that's what's running you you're not running you you're not thinking on your own you're not choosing you're not able to choose because you're in fear you're in fright you're in luck thanks so much for tuning in and listening you can now purchase an audio journey with me using the link below