WDWDY #65: Max & David's Woke Daydream

0:00Hi yesterday fans, it's Max here live in Melbourne at the tram stop by Piedemontes. Now if you're coming to the Melbourne show what we love is if on the first day you document your day with photographs and then on the Friday email them to us with a little synopsis of your day highlights low lights not everything necessarily what did you do yesterday Pod at gmail.com we got a standing ovation from a closed horse in Dublin so if that's not a reason to come I don't know what is yeah email them to us and then we might put them on a big screen okay thank you bye podcast there are millions of them some might say too many I have one already I don't have any because there are enough politics business sport you name it

1:02there's a podcast about it and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day but nobody is covering the most important topic of all why is that are they scared to afraid of being censored by the man possibly but not us we're here to ask the only question that matters we try and say it at the same time Max what did you do yesterday what did you do yesterday that's it all we're interested in is what the guest got up to yesterday nothing more day before yesterday Max no the greatest and most interesting day of your life unless it was yesterday we don't want to know about it I'm Max Rochden and I'm David O'Dohardy welcome to what did you do yesterday hello and welcome to midweek mayhem from the people that bring you what did you do yesterday my name is Max Rochden with my normal voice alongside me David O'Dohardy welcome David it's good to have you back Max particularly after Morgan Freeman filled in for you last week people James L Jones didn't listen it's the most off brand midweek mayhem

2:10we've ever done like so Max had been on the rise the night before I had yesterday I'd got up at six in the morning and had the voice of a different person and it was almost hard to get your head around because your yesterday was so unlike it was like an episode of antics roadshow where at the start they all took ketamine you know what I mean it was just what this is all wrong Bruce in a k-hole was on nice posh old men trying to get her out with antique books people loved it Rosie White said for the love of God Max in roll with only fans before your voice men you'll make millions LJ says you should book records and podcasts now before you lose that paying that voice is amazing now I see why your wife keeps waking the boys up so early she just wants that I've played this to get to sleep confronted by husky Max did I enter patreon levels I'd appalled said Max to something normal is so unusual wow that's hard that is tough isn't it the funny thing is is I start talking and you're so giddy

3:13your laugh is so giddy yeah as soon as you hear my voice but there is a controversy here we might have to bring Mars buried on it hailey says at 27 minutes and 28 seconds into this recording does someone release an almighty wet fart excuse everybody D golf says I can't hear it now has it been cut all bull says at 2743 did someone fart what he and she I've discovered the latest generic man three game has been covertly introduced namely spot the fart each episode will have a carefully conceived guff that needs to be detected so I listened back and I couldn't hear one now you know I wasn't in total control of myself at that time so like I like all fingers appointed to me yeah at 6.27 am wow last week but Mars but did you was there a toot and did you take it out I didn't take it out yeah definitely right and I went back and listened off the back of various messages and emails in case I did miss a fart yeah I think there was a noise that you made with your mouth Max that might have sounded vaguely right before in the middle of a sentence I wasn't in control

4:18really it wasn't really my mouth so that is a possibility I mean I'd like to think as an honest podcast David we wouldn't edit it out if it was to happen while recording I mean this is just what happens when you go out with your slabs on a 12 hour bender maybe coach beard was in the background on a second mic and he drunkenly decided it'd be really funny if you just pop a few guffs in throughout the episode their coach or he was just on the recording in 27 minutes he said nothing for the whole episode but 27 minutes and 13 seconds in who she has himself he said I will do the part I'll just do it in a slightly different way lots of love for the Bellows of our episode oh you just as if you haven't been to Instagram I don't know if you've done this yet David and read the comments on the Bellow Richard Herring serial killer video you need to go and do that now it's so funny there's just so many people thinking originally it's the fact that the serial killing because it's not at the top of

5:21his Wikipedia page the idea that just in the personal section down the bottom Richard Herring has also murdered 12 people he lives in Tumbridge Wells or wherever he lives with two children now look we've got a show next week David in Melbourne haven't we you're in Melbourne we know spoilers for yesterday's good Friday 4 p.m. with Sam Campbell as our special guest our ticket still available David yes not as many as there were before and that's the most positive way I could put it there is going to be a stampede for tickets one of these days my concern is that there will be injuries you know what I mean machines phones overheating etc so I would say go in early on those tickets for good Friday at 4 p.m. it'll be as if Taylor Swift was attached to the pamplona bull that's the sort of level of stampede there would be I on the bull Taylor is sitting on one of the bulls or she is the one that the bulls are all chasing

6:25Taylor Swift I haven't thought it through yeah she's on the bull so the bull is chasing the people they're running away but then the Taylor Swifties are chasing the bull behind so it makes it a bigger it's a sort of doubly effect is what I could be a very interesting twist on the normal pamplona if you manage to evade the bulls and we're then crushed to death by 45 Swifties small he says surely the greatest Australian song of all time this is how we close the show is suddenly by angry Anderson cast our minds back young Kylie and Jason wedding of the century the nation emotionally compromised and there we all were pretending we had something in our eyes while your mom dramatically passed to a tissue I was in a BBC period drama landmark stuff proper cultural reset I'd argue it's less a song or more a shared national trauma bonding experience the issue is I don't think that has the same impact in Australia yeah I think it was number one suddenly by angry Anderson but

7:28on the subject of Australian music I know you don't want to divulge stuff about your very personal friends max uh-huh but there was a giddiness on your part recently yeah because you received a direct message yeah Natalie and Brulia dropped into my DMs 15 year old me was absolutely wild Natalie said my assistant keeps telling me I'm getting name checked on your podcast thanks for the love I hope it's not sarcastic from what I've heard I'd go with Michael Hutchins never tear us apart love nat heart so I stared at that was like Natalie and Brulia's in my diary messages yeah so I said thank you to your assistant for bringing what I would suggest is I'm vitally important work to your attention there is zero sarcasm on my part for my love of big mistake and if you ever have a spare hour or so and want to tell us what you did yesterday we'd be delighted yeah because she didn't reply for about 12 hours and for those 12 hours

8:31I was like oh no have I texted Natalie and Brulia too soon I needed to wait two days to text but she replied I will be in touch this is exciting yeah see Ross her assistant is a mega fan of the podcast and I've said let me know what's good for you we can plug what you want no hurry whenever works and that's where it's at at the moment but hopefully my bookings don't seem to work as smoothly as yours so there are no guarantees at this stage that we have Natalie and Brulia but it's the most exciting thing that's happened to me since the podcast started I don't regret doing this but sometimes when you say in it for life you say it with a tinge of regret but I really don't regret it at all but this is taking it to a new level or if Dr. Clive Gibbons gets in touch suddenly you know that's next level but yeah it's exciting stuff Colin has some criticism Max and Donald's once again Max is consistent with his messaging across his different podcast ventures we all know that everything is showbiz however at 30 minutes oh five during guardian football weekly on 24th of March Max exclaims that showbiz is showbiz you know as I said it

9:36I was like why do you forsake what do you do yesterday on your big boy pod in it for lives there's Colin as soon as I said showbiz is showbiz I can't remember what it was regarding I think it was regarding you know the reximonus Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhani doing it you know they were on sky a lot and the opposite were annoyed that they didn't get as much airtime as Rob and Ryan even though Swansea City are co-owned now by Snoop Dogg so they could have got Snoop to join in but he wasn't there I said showbiz is showbiz and as soon as I said I said I know someone's gonna to David must have said everything I know I'm not the maths baffon on this podcast you are using just basic it's not even algebra I think it might be algebra so if showbiz is equal to showbiz and everything is equal to showbiz also good yeah showbiz is equal to everything correct absolutely right I see no flaws there it's perfect Ian in sunny five says deer maxed EOD in front

10:37size or otherwise David when you were speculating about which model steam train would be the most suitable butt plug substitute you posited that the flying Scottsman would be the locomotive of choice the thing you were however mixing up your world record breaking steam engines the flying Scottsman being a conventional a3 locomotive whereas the mallard of just a few years later was a wind tunnel designed super stream like a four locomotive I was going so either of these in my ain't as brackets and I am most definitely not it would be the latter rather than the former the fact I've even written those sentences is bewildering to me thank you for all your pulling goodness Ian in sunny five so there it's the mallard we want to begin with rather than the flying Scottsman yeah I know both of those locomotives I mean in terms of butt plug technology I think the shift from from steam really yeah it's very much the industrial revolution of butt plugs wasn't especially when you used to have to get the little boy just shoveling coal to make it go up keep shoveling

11:46and the kids think they've got a hard these days and AI coming in but back in Victorian times you couldn't get a job as a chimney sweep you had to be a steam engine for a posh man's butt plug isn't it non of a female to whom it may concern it's a great way to begin this specific email oh to whom it may concern I once pissed into a bitter filter it did a great job but it didn't totally remove the coloring if I'd been more hydrated at the time it probably would have been completely fine not sure this information is helpful please keep my name anonymous it could affect the future employment prospects I don't know what that is I know relating to you know yeah what's that one it's Tom Rosenthal said your message out of the blue to say yes personally drank from a bottle in his car that was full of piss and then they're followed to discussion us to desalination and de-urination the exact science and I did think considering the nearest to listen to this know the difference between the mallard and the flying scoutsman of the great steam locomotives I did think someone would have a rudimentary way like

12:53it's one of those potentially useful things like what to do if your car drives into water you know opening the windows etc what to do if you have to live on your own pee should we send Tom Rosenthal filter it could be Hong Kong this podcast is brought to you by Britain filters breter turning piss back into water John writes and send with love and I've really enjoyed this email hi lads I work with a guy who thinks David hasn't massive head and as I'm a fan of DOD it's me who gets the flack for it for years I've been getting comments like I saw you mate David O'Dogdy walking down Camden street the other day man he's got a fucking big head he recently took a photo on his TV of David sat beside David Mitchell and sent it to me as some sort of gotcha because he believed DOD's head was about twice the size of David Mitchell's this really ramps up in the week before the vicar street show when he said they'd either have to widen the doorway to get him in or detach

13:54the roof and drop him in a cargo container he also said it does a Q&A segment ask him how he manages to keep himself upright with their head that size I'm wondering mine is he just a nut or just David having an abnormally large head everything his show is John I do like that John gets the flack it's a line of abuse for John what do you think David well there's a reason the only place I feel truly accepted is when I go on holidays to Easter Island just start beside those huge statues you three places you can go there you got a mountain rush more and you can stand next to the sphinx that you're only happy places I think I have a pretty big head as in sometimes when people ask me to be in photos with them I'll take it and have a look at it and a lot of the time I am struck by other big old noggin that is angles as well if you're taking the selfie your head is quite often the nearest head like I would say my most discernible physical shortcoming is the tiny

14:59little legs as opposed to the giants no good but thank you for raising that other top thing I'll think about for the next 40 years I spent a long time talking about the wish to measure Sam Aladai's head because I believe that is a large head his head's good and I really I sort of started a campaign on soccer and during the gory is you know it's a wonder why they took me off that program eventually we got someone to measure his head we got James Collins the center back to measure his head but the trouble is nobody knows how big a head is yeah it was like there we've measured it it's 50% of whatever it was yeah it was a real anticlimax because you have no like it's not like oh he's eight foot six and everyone has a frame of reference no one has a frame of reference for size of head so it's a very anticlimactic measuring of Sam Aladai's head I mean I do think going forward in the same way that Kylie's dancers are all very short to fit in with Kylie I think for live shows while everything is showbiz and showbiz is equal to showbiz that everything

16:01is also equal to everything I am going to have to ditch you in your little p head for someone else with a huge black man side head we certainly can't have beetle juice as a guest hello chaps listen to the filler Ellis episode playing a video game snuffkin melody of Moomin Valley while playing finish the game in the credits role revealing the soundtrack for the game was done by Sigour Ross it's all coming full circle mind-blowing forever forked be a true believer that what did you do yesterday is the center of the known universe and what a relief it's a whimsical daft fun universe thanks in it for life says Shiro and Emma says within mere hours of listening to the Phil Ellis episode my son chose a Moomin's book in the library further proving that what did you do yesterday is the center of the known universe it was one of those lift the flap books when I got to the page asking where is Moomin at bedtime meeting I didn't lift the flap for fear of where the Moomin might be feel like go lad with the greatest of respect I'd rather not see the pictorial evidence you may have ruined bedtime reading but having a one year old and three year old listening

17:02to Max's buy weekly yesterday keeps me safe in the knowledge that someone's having a harder time than me and for that I'm truly grateful and we'll keep listening even if my three year old books now make me think of butt plugs stay classy everything is showbiz Emma I'm okay today thank you oh look at this this is David's Butler arrived was it a small boy with a some steam and coal and you're like no I'm okay I don't need the butt plugs today please sir please sir can I could I possibly the steam is really hot today sir not today I'm okay thanks so I'm in Melbourne for the festival here although we're in the same city we will meet after this for a cup of coffee and see how that works out to be honest I don't know if you're head off it in the door of the cafe I suggest is you were talking about movements there and I didn't want to interrupt your flow so the person who came up to clean the room was just advancing slowly into the room luckily you're not on speaker it says you wouldn't have heard about a movement's end but do you want to really

18:06love the email yeah this is not a number one aha I just wanted to say thank you my daughter's currently in the local children's hospital she has an eating disorder life has been so hard for the recent weeks and months honestly you've no idea the sadness and hopelessness I've felt and continued to feel I only listened to two podcasts what did you do yesterday and the guardian football weekly I didn't realize I was a max ultra but there we are turns out I'm a big fan of generic men with Irish side kicks who knew due to insane parking costs I'm parking miles away from the hospital and walking to and from it also taking turns staying over with my ex honestly listening to the most stupid quizzes stupid yeah and sharing max his lack of sleep has really helped me you made me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry you've kept me sane whilst ill children scream through the night in hospital the only downside is you only make two pods a week luckily football weekly's helped too although as a spurs fan I can't say I've enjoyed every minute but thank you I know it's all nonsense but I'm in it for life my daughter's getting healthier and happier and you both are keeping her dad from losing his mind please keep going you're part of our lives now knowing what comedians eat for breakfast hearing about the occasional bunk and DOD spoilers

19:07means more than you'll ever know so thank you well that is a very sweet message we do realize secretly quite how important this is oh my god this has to absolutely ruin it I was going to say it is very nice to get an email like that because there are times where I'm thinking about movements too much etc and what the hell am I doing here so it is nice that it performs some job for some yeah so we said you and your daughter are love do you want to play there just normal countries David yes yes okay then previous guesses are Madagascar Namibia Costa Rica Uganda North Korea Guyana

20:10Northern Mariana Islands Bhutan Brunei Nepal as we're teeny US Virgin Islands Equatorial Guinea Samarino correct interruption oh yes what's interesting about this is this owing to the gulf and the fact that the flight from Dublin to here had to go around it this is the exact route I took how did that list I sort of Indiana Jones style you see a little twin propeller plane do do do do do do do do do and then keep cutting back to go to Scandinavia and then certainly really has affected flying times that you can now only get a zeppelin to Australia Lichensstein Turkmenistan Seychelles Mauritius Georgia Vatican City Oman Fiji correct Vanuatu Bolivia Barrow Islands correct Belarus Palau Aruba Ecuador Iraq Gabon correct Eritrea and Dora Peru a Union Greenland the Gambia Ivory Coast Bulgaria the Solomon Islands Cape Verde Chad correct Guinea where we are running out of countries that is so many countries it's insane we haven't got it in that many countries Alex in Halifax dear David Max Mars bar unassociated

21:14quiz heroes I was recently enjoying an early episode of what did you do yesterday alumnus Adam Buckston's podcast in it he has five of his own normal countries are he those places in which he's had just one listen to my show he just listed out these golden nuggets of quiz potential one idiot that's why his podcast will never get anywhere I suppose only the seized and broadcasting chops of Texas Holden Rushden could have the foresight to turn this into a month if not years long format point Buckston has much to learn to be fair believe it was Mars bar's idea for a quiz he may regret it now one of his single listen countries was Turkmenistan and established incorrect answer this leaves four possible crossover nations surely one will be the last remaining key in this globe shaped puzzle it is therefore with eyes closed and fingers crossed I present my guess Paraguay Mars bar is Paraguay a normal country oh Alex wins all the countries there we are

22:17What was the prize for this? We haven't really had time to work out a prize for this. Was it my old car filled with old little lemons? It was something like that. Wow. Does anyone remember what the prize for this was? Alex and Halifax. I mean, I do use this in my brain as about the midpoint in an episode. We could promote curdle into the middle. I think that's probably curdle eye eye. It feels too big to be at the end of an episode to me. Yeah. And the Squires quiz seems too insufficient. It's gone quite quiet the Squires. It's sort of bubbling under sort of every other episode. Quiz that one. But I feel slightly bereft that it's gone. Let's give our flowers to Alex from Halifax, first, who ingeniously worked it out. And Adam Buckston, of course. Thanks for Adam Buckston. Yeah. It's very similar. The two podcasts track in a similar direction. Paraguay, I would have just thought there would be more listeners for some reason. Yeah. I'd presume you were in the low millions in Paraguay.

23:23Samarino, Fiji, Faroe Islands, Gabon, Chad and Paraguay. Thanks so much everyone for playing there. Just no more countries. I feel a little bit empty. Oh no. It's all over. Yeah, it's all over. But a new quiz will arrive at any time. Can I? Knowing you, yes. Yes, Marzba. What is it, Marzba? We've got a new quiz. Two listens. Two listen. No, no. I would like to take this opportunity to clear something up, which I'd say probably once or twice a week we've received an email, trying to address this topic. But I felt like during the run of the quiz, it wasn't the right time. So lots of people have asked, how are the normal country guesses picked each week? And accusations have been made towards me and towards you, Max, that we would just pick one. We knew incorrect to elongate the game. So I feel like I should show my workings and kind of pull the curve. Because I would just see an email. I would just have one. There's nothing to do with me. No. So what happens is every single email that comes in that hasn't already been guessed

24:25goes into a folder and is given a number. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Love that. That wasn't the only guess. Correct. Guests to finish the game. Like quite a few people had sent that guess in. Honestly, I can't pick that and end the game. So what I do is I give every single guess that's eligible a number. And then before each episode, I put those numbers say one to 124 or one to 250 into like a lottery machine, like an online number. To win a beer. Alan Deddy comes in and says, we are using win a beer for today's draw. And then Noel Edmunds comes out and you did all this unrecorded. This is marvelous. And then it picks that number. And then the email allocated to that guess gets read out. So there are people that might be frustrated saying, I sent Paraguay in months ago. Wow. Deliberately picked or not picked. It's at the mercy of, you know, our behind the scenes just normal countries around them selection machine. That will explain my friend Matt Scilding, who keeps saying, why is my country not being picked? I'm literally one of your best friends.

25:27Pick this country. I had no power over this map. So there we are. I didn't want to get involved because we didn't want to bring quizzing into disrepute because this is a pure quiz podcast. Oh, well, that's very exciting. David, what time did you wake up yesterday? Just to finish that off, shout out to my brother Alex, who recently moved to Canada. He's in Nova Scotia in Halifax. So congratulations to him for moving there. Congratulations. I'm trying to allege those nepotism involved because it's Alex from Halifax. But you forgot the name of the person. I didn't know your brother was called Alex. I was like, it's your brother called Alex. Oh, my God. It's not very Irish name. It's it. I would have known if your brother was moving to Nova Scotia. Anyway, okay, I woke up yesterday morning. Uh-huh. I won't give you the time yet. I will just say I woke up like a campanologist ringing a bell. Just like duh-dung. You were just there. Bam. Oh, wait. That lag is real, right? Yes. The previous night was night one in Australia. It's not relevant, but I'd done a gig in front of 3,000 people on a TV gala. So

26:32I'd sort of use showbiz to keep you awake. I'd stayed awake as late as possible to midnight, which is some going. Yeah. I wake fully awake. The blinds are black out in this hotel room. So I get up kind of stretch back going, yeah, this is good. I've made some inroads into jet lag, open the curtain. It makes no difference whatsoever because it's jet lag outside. It's 1.30 and I've been asleep for an hour and a half fully absolutely awake. So I need to use podcasts to get back to sleep. There's a lot of football chat at the moment. Ireland having qualified for, I mean, we just watched that match before this. They did not win. But those podcasts were too exciting. So instead, I listened to a new episode of In Our Time on the Poet John Keats. How's it going? No longer with us. Rest in power, Keatsy. But it's good. And it's hosted by

27:35Misha Glenny. And here is an interesting thing. The new host who's taken over from Melvin Bragg, also a famous Oxford United football fan. Just putting that out there. I know this isn't a beloved section because we're looking for new quizzes, guys. I'm not saying my hand is empty, but we need some quizzes. I managed to get back to sleep at some point and wake up at six, which will kind of do you. Yeah. And because I am determined not to get ill, I've got to ill here a few times doing this crazy fly in, do a TV show and open your Melbourne show the next night because I will be opening the show in this yesterday. Wow. Okay, exciting. So I need to take care of myself. So the commitment is I will go for a swim. There's a hotel pool. And it's not open until seven. So I've got an hour just to kill time. Yeah. And I decide to make the pre-show mix

28:40for the show. That's an important tone, Satter, I would say. Could it come over and down the morning with us? I'm not having sounds of the 90s are both pre-show bicks or various songs of their tractors or trains that your children demand that that would really make a weird start. The other day I drove in half an hour till like a bike track. It's been to go on its balanced bike and we listened to the poor patrol album on Spotify, which is only five songs on loop, including an instrumental poor patrol. And the only way on the way home I could keep him awake. At one point in the poor patrol thing, it names the poor. It's like, Rubble, Marshall, Chase, Sky, and the only way I could keep him awake is we did want to sleep is by naming wrong people in poor patrol. So I'd be like, Jeff Jeff, wigwam, Arthur, Nigel, people like, they're not in poor patrol. And that would keep him awake. So I said to you that for half an hour, but I would quite enjoy it. Okay. There is tension in the ranks of poor patrol because Marshall wants to record this free jazz album. That's

29:42when he thinks the new musical direction should be just like unlistable squawking and Rubble thinks they should place the fans. It's a classic dilemma, the groups. You know, but Rubble might not be the most good looking, but he writes all the songs. You know, so I should go for a swim now. Yeah. No, instead I'll make crappy hotel. Although this is a nice place, it's the sachets, the tubes of instant coffee, those ones. No, absolute rubbish. But delicious at that time of morning, they have given me a sort of welcome pack that has a young boy with steam in a black tubularones, tiny tubular ones in it. So even though I'm on this crazy health kick here, I eat about six meters of tubular while drinking this awful coffee, I've now fast for so long. We decide we will base the pre-show mix of the water boys, the whole of the moon song. Lovely. You know that song. I know

30:46that. So that's in my willhouse. Absolutely unbelievable song. Yes, I'll go for a swim. Oh no, I have to go and do the sound check for the gig. This is early to sound check the gig. No, because we've fast so much rock to about 11 now. 11? Three hours of eating time. I did spend a very long time listening to tunes and putting them beside each other and then getting sidetracked into. Yeah. Because I'm slightly low of ange, there's certain motivational YouTube's that I watch, musical ones. And they're generally people's first appearance on letterman type shows where letterman is so blown away by it. He comes out like future islands would be the classic one. Future islands is the one that Adam Buckson. Was he talking to Letterman about that? They did a pod, maybe. Yes. They talk about that. And it is an amazing performance, isn't it? Yes. Seasons change the song. That's a classic one. Another classic that I would put

31:49up there with future islands is Janelle Monet's version of tight rope, which is another letterman one. She comes out and does a full James Brown thing. And it's Letterman screaming. That's what I'm talking about afterwards. There's a bunch of those ones. Anyway, I will now head off and do the sound check. It's a beautiful day here in Melbourne. So I go out in my shorts. I put on a jacket over a t-shirt thinking I probably won't need this. And a cloud burst takes place, the like of which you've never got it at home, Max. There were a few flashes of lightning as well. There was chubby rain. There was huge blobs of Mr. Freeze-sized lumps of rain. Do you get that reference? Do you remember Mr. Freeze's? I remember Mr. Freeze, yeah. I would say yesterday in Melbourne. There was more rain than there has been all the days cumulatively since I got back from the UK

32:53last September. It was like no as arc of rain. Yes. It isn't my yesterday. But yesterday, I was on a golf course with World Cup winner Juan Matta and World Cup winners Aaron Finch and Glen Maxwell at like a secret golf course that nobody ever uses. But it's not my yesterday. So anyway, oh my goodness. You and Juan Matta, were you playing golf as well? Yeah, me and Juan Matta with the two cultured footballers and Glen Maxwell and Aaron Finch with a big Aussie of golfers. Wow. What am I yabbering on about, you know, making instant coffee? It was nothing we can do. It's your yesterday. Well, imagine if this had happened last week and you had come on just in Texas with a really deep voice and I couldn't ask you what had happened. So we're getting unbelievably soaking. I've always said about Australia. The great thing about wearing trainers here is that they don't age the way they do at home because it rains so infrequently. You'll see people with perfectly

33:57white trainers. So I've brought these really nice suede kind of skate shoes thinking, I've got to wear these for the whole trip. And they get absolutely destroyed within 15 seconds. Yep. Properly, like you've taken the wrong shoes camping. You know that kind of a way. And you're like, I can do this hike. I'll just avoid the mud. And then at one point, you just go, oh, fuck, they're in the mud. They're done. But we've got to keep on hiking. I go down to the sound check. Sedject's pretty straightforward. For my show, there's two lighting states. This is a tight state when I'm doing a song and a general wash when I stand up and I'm walking around just creates a little bit of variety. Room looks good. Like early in your career, you're sort of stressed. There's the sort of captains run day before the FA Cup final vibe to San Chex. But right now, it's absolutely fine. Yeah, I've never stressed about sound. I'm just like, I'm sure it's fine. Hey, then there was one gig. I think we did the O2 Indigo. So it's quite big, isn't it? And a half

35:02time, we're like, we should have done a sound check. Can't hear each other. First off, it was really weird. We should learn. This is like why you shouldn't just go to the pub before a show, David. Thank you. But you know, I'm learning slowly in this game. I did the sand check. The rain is nuts. And I think it's built this way, the city of Melbourne to actually keep probably white people out of the sun. There are all these cut-throughs in blocks where you go down kind of galleries that were built in Victorian times with stained glass roofs and stuff. So, I start to try and work out a way home that involves being out of doors as little as possible. As part of my commitment to good health, I found the names of the vitamins that are recommended for the particular deficiencies that I have. I had a health test recently, Max, where they told me what I was lacking. A-B-C-D-E-G-H-I-J-K-E-L-M-N-O-B-Q-R-S-D-E-V-W-X-Y and Vitamin Z.

36:05They just said, you have some core inflakes. They said, you're low in riboflovin. They said, can you eat more Kellogg's breakfast cereal? You need to be fortified with Vitamin Z and I. So, get yourself some frosties. The ones that I got that I didn't realise from the recommendation are absolute horse pills. They're the size of bloody four. I have minstrels. They're in the rugby ball shape. As we've established, I have a huge head. Of course. Therefore, I'm massive throat as well. It should just be like throwing laundry down a flight of stairs, but instead, it's a real effort. I don't know how raggos with regular-sized heads would possibly eat one of these pills. Is it one pill? Has all the vitamin G-need in it? One pill has all the vitamins. I need a uni pill. It's a uni pill to keep you alive forever. Who told you this? What podcast do you listen to when Jack likes it said,

37:05take massive uni pill and you will live forever. It's the size of a wagon wheel. Is it Gary Lennonka? He said it. It's just unlock your jaw and then pour enough water down. Uni pill. Daphne, you will be fine. So, at one point, I've gone through an arcade and I'm definitely heading back towards the hotel. So, this is the danger zone for jet lag in Australia. It's kind of 1 pm to 4 pm. I feel if you can get past that, Dr. Showbiz will psych me up for my show, which is at 7.30. Sure. But you could do a one till two. A one till two nap is fine. Nope. No, absolutely not. I'm going straight through. Here's a curious thing. I see a cafe in front of me. Great. I'll go for a coffee. Do you know what I see? I see that this is a cafe connected to a library. Oh, yeah, no. I'm thinking this is the place where the guy had a problem with my great Fred Maxx. No, that's journal and that's really nice cafe.

38:08Oh, I thought that was where the beef was. The beef was a, it was called like post office or something. The eight things I've Google reviewed. It's there. You gave it a five-star review because that one of our listeners had given it a one-star review. Yeah. And then he deleted his. So now this guy's got a five-star review and all the cafes that I actually have no reviews because I don't go around reviewing cafes because I really felt like I was on like a celebrity walking tour of Maxx's Melbourne, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I had a solidarity with you. I didn't go to, even out of midway solidarity with you, Max. I didn't go to that cafe. Thank you. Thank you. Probably the actual one where the guy or you were eating a sandwich and taking too much space up. I decided to then traipse through the rain. I need a bit of food, but I want some sushi. One cool thing about Melbourne is a lot of takeaway sushi where you just get two very long kind of mega

39:10rolls and that will do. But who do I bump into? Only what did you do yesterday? Alumni, Phil Wang and Danny and Smith. Yeah. That's great. We hang out for a little while, but it is absolutely ridiculous because the rain, the tropical rain storm has now been joined by canopy moving wind as well. Ian Smith is quite slight. He may have been blown away unless he was carrying numerous laptops to put in bins then. Yeah. It's true. And then I feel real sympathy for people with regular sized heads because it's not keeping them in position. People are just, they've gone around the back of my head or just clinging to my hair. Everyone else is flapping like those garage inflatable garage things and you're just there steadfast in place. You're on the news. Man isn't blown around by wind. Man with giant head. I witness a very funny thing where it's the point of rain

40:13on awning because a lot of the cafes and the lanes of Melbourne have the kind of awning that you wind out. You know what I mean? That goes across the laneway. After a certain point, they fill with water and then the water suddenly like 2000 liters just tips off one end and I see a man get thoroughly soaked by one of them. Oh, that's great. Yeah. It's a bit like I'm in singing in the rain, the classic musical, except no one is singing in the rain. They're all just the other people who is a Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Yes. Jean Kelly. Jean Kelly and Fred Astaire, just the two of them. Fred Astaire dressed as a lady. Yep. Yeah. Who's the lady in singing in the rain? Anyway. Angela Lansbury. Angela. There's a murderer. It could be Angela Lansbury. You know, yeah, she was in those. She's as a teapot, dressed as a teapot. I... Debbie Reynolds, so small as bar. Thank you.

41:14Debbie Gibson. I think it was Debbie Gibson. Anyway, carry on. What's Debbie Gibson's song? Well, I should know this. Don't know. Okay. Well, we can't just leave it like this. Well, we can. Okay, fine. I... You really didn't fight hard to name the Debbie Gibson's song there, did you? It's not I think we're alone now. No, that's Tiffany. Only in my dreams, foolish beat. None of those are the famous Debbie Gibson's song. Electric youth, anything is possible, lost in your eyes. I don't know any of these songs. It's definitely one that I know. She's unlikely to slide into our DMs with this playing review. What is this? My assistant was horrified to find that you could name any of my songs. I get back to the hotel. It's four o'clock now, although we're still in the danger zone, if I were to sit down for three minutes and just lower my eyes, I would nod off. So, do you know what I'm going to do? Go for that swim from earlier on.

42:21Yes, good idea. So, I need to run through the show in my own head. Not necessarily mumble it, but just figure out where A goes to B goes to C and I decide I will do that in the pool. As luck would have it, it's a sort of a lap pool and it's uncomfortable if there's someone else in that pool. There isn't anyone else in the pool. You can tell because when I look through the door, there's just a flat cam on the water. That's nice, isn't it? That is. When you go in and you see a swoosh, you're like, oh, fuck. This is one person doing butterfly because it's not like an Olympic size and presumably it's not an Olympic size pool. It is not an Olympic size pool. It's either a 10 or a 15 meter pool. I decided it's 15 meters because I think I will swim a kilometer. But, then I mess up the counting habit because I'm trying to think of what happens in my show. Interestingly, I find I can only think of my show when I'm doing backstroke. I was about to say what stroke of choice? I generally swim up on either my awful front crawl or my awful rest

43:26stroke. I'm then swim back doing backstroke. I suppose for you, it's quite, if backstroke, your head is in the water. It's a fresh stroke to keep that on my diamond. Above water is actually it's a miracle. It is difficult because when I do front crawl, when I reach the end, I push all of the water, I sort of dredge all of the water out of the pool and then I have to ring dead for assumption and go, can you fill the pool again, please? Every length. And then you sit on the side writing. Yeah, it's a good swim. I don't know how long I swim, but I swim to the point where it's difficult to climb out of the pool. You know that feeling where your little pipe cleaner arms are struggling to lift your great girth out. I now need to get ready and go to the gig. I think I've thought about the show enough. If you want there to be a bit of excitement on opening night, I receive a beautiful message from his name is Jack Maloney. He's a podcast listener.

44:33And he sends me this sensational message. Hi, David. Long time listener, first time caller. I was due to see you at the town hall gig tonight. But unfortunately, my dog has decided to eat a whole pack of chewing gum. And I now need to take him to the vet. So if you see two empty seats, please don't take it personally. There's a valid reason. I'll be scolding my dog for ruining my night of music and whimsy. Even if he has to pass a huge chewing gum balloon out of his arse, it wouldn't make up for missing your show. So thank you very much, Jack. I'd like Jack to keep his posted on that because that could take a while, couldn't it? Yeah. Listen, we're looking for quiz. Guess the number of days it takes for Jack Maloney's dog to pass a big part of Xrigley's extra. I make it to the show shows pretty good. Good crowd. It's a preview. So I say you get what you pay for et cetera. You know, I've a lot of self-deprecating stuff on in a way it's the most fascinating one because I've been doing this show quite successfully in Ireland and Britain for the last while.

45:37Yet I know for a fact there will be a bunch of bits that just don't work in Australia for cultural reasons that I haven't anticipated. I have a song that's about the environment and how the planet is dying, et cetera, but my own failure to engage with the necessary. So the opening verse is like the planet is dying, but don't put the bike lane there. I need those spaces. That's where I park. That's the idea of the song that works fine. But verse two is we need to realize how fragile we are, but I don't like the bottles where when you unscrew the lid, the lid just sort of hangs off the, you know, those bottles. Yeah. Yeah. Really annoying. Yeah. They don't happen in Australia, Max. The audience just look baffled. Listeners, you know what I'm talking about when you unscrew a plastic lid, it dangles there. And I end up getting really angry about it in the song. And I scream, this is like living in North Korea. But the audience have no frame of reverence

46:40whatsoever. And you kind of know when people are just humoring you by being like, oh yeah, oh, that's a thing. Is it what you could do? And this also wouldn't be environmentally good. I guess is ship over. How big is the theater? 400 or something. Okay. You've got 400 and you're doing like 20 shows, right? 20 shows. Something like that. So two, four, so say 8,000. You could ship over 8,000 of those bottles and just empty them. Yeah. And then leave one on each seat, each night. And then say, please pick up this bottle and then just to hurt it. Just, you know, garbage. From an environmental point of view, I feel it would undermine the saving of the environment by having the dagly lid in the first place. It's fine. We'll just put something else in there instead. Gig goes pretty well. I'm a bit tired, but that's okay. Tom Cashman, another, what to do yesterday alum is after one of our two bunkers. So every night he used a lot of tech in his show. So I finish

47:43mine and I just kind of sit there being retired and then watch his show. It's a sort of 10 minute turn around. So we have a nice chat. I go back out into the pouring rain. And I meet my friend Nina who is used to be my producer here. And Josie Long, another, what did you do yesterday? Okay. Alumni. And we go for a lovely dinner where we're not making huge sense because it's obvious after a point, we are just trying to stay awake. What are you eating? Josie is gluten intolerant. So I make the decision because I'm a little earlier than her to go to the worst possible place for a gluten intolerant person. Basically a charcootery board type place. Okay, good. When she arrives, the table is 80% bread. The chairs are made of bread. The table is like Hansel and Gretel for sourdough. Hansel and Gretel. Is your taking Josie Long? That's like a sort of annoyed boom

48:52over. I'll tell you, if Hansel and Gretel happen today, they wouldn't be able to go to the gingerbread cottage and then have all their bloody allergies. Soy latte house. Fuck off. Yeah. Somebody's been drinking my soy latte. It's too hot. Mine is just right. David and Max's woke fairy tales. Yes. Successfully stay up till midnight. Have a lovely time. We drink not much, but like a bottle of wine between, turns out this four of us, Josie and I are staying in the same hotel. So I, because I want to stay up a tiny bit later, I go and have like a gin sang and I don't know, herbal tea in her place, come back here. It's after midnight, which is pretty good going. So late. Why don't you go a bit at 10 on this night? Fine. No, because I know I'm going to wake up at six o'clock this morning. Now partly because I will just wake up at six o'clock this morning. And also because Ireland have a football match that sadly didn't go our way. And I think this

49:56episode I've been doing a great job of being more upbeat than I really feel having just seen Ireland lose in a penalty shootout. Yeah, I don't even have to do the mario lane counting of the huge numbers with the breathing or anything. It's just absolute punch in the face, sleep, good night. That's what I did yesterday. It's a good yesterday. Yeah. I mean, the function of being here is to do the show and the show went okay. So that's really will set the tone for the rest of it. We're back on tonight. I recorded yesterday's show. I'll listen back. We'll make 10 changes. And so it will continue. 10 changes every night for the next three weeks. But all your focus will be on Good Friday at 4 p.m. Where me, you and Sam Campbell, finally, well, Sam Campbell did the day before. So if you'd like to come to that, Google it. And if you'd like to get in touch with the podcast, oh, hang on a second. Dear Max and David, we're a quarter of the way through 2026 and still the cheeseboard quiz

50:57remains unsolved. I have a few suggestions for the Odoherty Cheeseboard Christmas 2025. Yeah. In the awesome of 2025, David made a reference to visiting an Irish dairy. Two cheeses were named. The question is, are either both or none at all included? Furthermore, in November, British TV was full of Christmas shopping advertisements, including one starring friend of the show Joe Wilkinson. In the ad, Joe's character has a meat cute with Kira Knightly's character at the cheese counter. In perfect harmony, they both request the same cheese. Perhaps Joe had a Christmas bonus, a bumper delivery of this cheese. He decided to send parcels to his comedy pals, including DoD. This is from Joanna in Altringham. She says, best wishes for the house move and the live show in Oz. Love the show. Everything is showbiz. Here are her curdle eye eye. Let's play curdle eye eye.

52:09Oh, that was a bad one. Oh, my goodness. Maybe I just can't do bejoins in the Southern Hemisphere. Bejoins the other way when when you press that in family fortunes, it goes. That's what happens here. Okay, here are the guesses. Bre, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Lost valley dairy, carregnumook. That is, I'm absolutely furious about that guess. Imagine if the person cleaning the room had come in during this. I've heard me making these great sound effects. Yes, guess three. Filly. Bing, bing, bing, bing. Cash out blue. Bing, bing, bing, bing. Sussex

53:13charmer matured. How many times do I have to say this? I've got friends who are low, Jesus. I should have sung this last week. No, I'd sang that last week. Imagine how deep it would have been. People don't like clues, so they're not listening to the clues. Okay, fine. That's what's happening. Sorry to producer Joel from your football side project. Yeah, it's furious at my clues. Although he was very excited about being mentioned a lot in last week's Mayhem, by his friends who loved this part and hate football and so weren't really aware that he did anything. Just a big moment for him. Anyway, if you would like to get in touch with the podcast, here is how. To get in touch with the show, you can email us at what did you do yesterday pod at gmail.com. Follow us on Instagram at yesterday pod. And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform. And if you didn't, please don't.

54:30Wow, no, I want to see where it all happens. Listeners. Okay. Yeah. Never been to this house. This is so exciting. It's like going to Graceland. Okay. To any address? Yeah. As far as far, could you be better, please? I'll see you soon. There's just thousands of people streaming by outside looking in through the window as you attempt to put an oat cake into a toaster or whatever you do. I'm in it for live, David. Everything is showbiz. Anyone got any suggestions? What could replace the just normal countries in the middle of the show? Let us know. Bye, guys. Hi, yesterday fans. It's Max here live in Melbourne at the tram stop by Piedemontes. Now, if you're coming to the Melbourne show, what we'd love is if on the first day,

55:35you'd document your day with photographs. And then on the Friday, email them to us with a little synopsis of your day. Highlights, lowlights, not everything necessarily. What did you do yesterday, pod? At gmail.com. We got a standing ovation from a closed horse in Dublin, so if that's not a reason to come, I don't know what is. Yeah, email them to us, and then we might put them on a big screen. Okay, thank you, bye.