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The Bert Show — Vault: Woman Goes OFF on a Telemarketer!. Machine-transcribed; use the interactive transcript above to jump the player to any line.
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begins is where the audio that I got began. So I don't know what happens at the start of it, but kind of listening. And this is edited down. The call that you're going to hear that I think I got down to three and a half-ish was actually about nine minutes long. So this is about a third of it. And it was just as crazy throughout the whole thing. And hopefully I didn't edit this out, hopefully, to be able to deduce it from this as well. But she's obviously calling to complain because she has been contacted by telemarketers. And she's very upset and she's threatening police action and legal action and bodily harm. Should these calls continue? Okay. So I need to talk to your lawyer. I just called my lawyer. What state are you from now? It doesn't make any difference. You don't get to ask me any questions. I was just abused. I can call you any swear name. I need your personal last name. Okay. And believe me, there are consequences. It was to the point where I actually had an appendix rupture because of telemarketing calls. It doesn't matter what it is illegal.
You are a writer. You're here. Her life is right. I need your personal last name. Oh, the police are listening. Okay. My name's Alan. What's your last name? I don't get my last name. Oh, thank you so much. Then let me talk to your supervisor. The police are ready. Okay. I actually have my supervisor here. I can help you. You broke the law. You did a felony arrest. You called my neighbor. You don't have to get your last name, Alex. Not if I don't want to. I was always really wanting to make it out of this. Okay. Now, I need to know what is your tax number. We will find out who all your relatives are and they will never, ever be off any list. Do you understand? What? We will find out who like Alex is. We did all of your female relatives and then we will go to your keepers. Your taxes will be audited every single year for the rest of your life.
There will not even be a citizen of the team that you call by your telemarketing. You must be son of a bitch. You are murderous. You're a hitter. You're a life destroyer. If every telemarketer has a number, there could not be private don't go. People die. People are attorneys that walk their people independent. People cannot call their ambulance to protect you. You are worse than any terrorist. And we will find out. I will go to my lawyer, the police. That's something. You'll be okay. You'll be okay. You will. Your phone will never stop ringing. That's something. Your taxes will never stop ringing. Your taxes will never stop ringing. Your children's keepers will know what you have done. Are you sure? You are a life destroyer. You are a terrorist. You are a victim. You are murderous. You are a life destroyer. You are a victim. Next to you will be. You deserve every pain known to man. If we find out your last name, there will be charges brought. That's not like a threat to me. Yeah, it's a threat. It's a legal threat. But you have done to us. Now your family, any of them will be back.
We'll never, ever, ever, ever be able to have a normal list of phone number. Ever. Okay. That's okay with you? Yeah. Okay. Do you have any grandmother? Sure. They will never, ever, ever be able to have a normal phone number. That's okay with you. Yeah. You're lying. You son of a bitch. Oh, my God. You're saying that if you live, the phone never stops ringing. And that's okay with you. Because that is one reason we can have social services go to your home. I hope they play the state in court someday. So you're saying your phone never stops ringing. And your family doesn't care? Yeah. What's it I'm saying? Oh no. Well, your wife will leave you. Believe me. What? I'm married. We can't live. You are worse than anything we're fighting in Iraq. You are an abuser. You are a hater. Herter. Shit. Shit is this. I'm a bitch. I understand. I'm like I'm who they elected to work. All the doubts are over for your company. You will all be audited. And if that's, and they aren't every phone that's in effect, a threat, why are you struggling?
You must be. You hurt people for it. Listen, you know what they're like. You know what it holds. You must be. That's a good message. Wow. Life destroyer. I really want to hear the beginning of that call. Because half the fun is listening to them. Just start us. To wrap it off like on the crazy plane. Wow. That is insane. Oh my gosh. Yeah. She really might be mentally ill. That is nuts. I still think one call too many. The toughest job that you can have in this country is customer service. Oh, it's all a marketer. Tell a marketer customer service like that. Oh, but don't you think that that right there is like Christmas morning if you work in the office? Like don't you think you gather everyone around the cube and you play that back after it's called and then for the rest of your career at that company, your nickname is Life Destroyer. Serious. You hurt people for it. Listen, you do it. They're like, you are murderers. You are a life destroyer. You are nasty. You are baiters. You deserve every pain. Don't demand.
Good God. Wow. Off the wagon is neat. We need to get the first part of that call. Oh, that was. I think it's going to be the same thing as pay it, lady. We'll never be able to track her down. Yeah. It's a seven day call if we do. Good morning. D you are part of the the bird show. Hi. Good morning. Good morning. I'm the manager of the call center and I'm dying, lashing at this call. You actually sound like you could be her. Oh no. I mean, not her. I mean, you don't sound crazy, but your voice sounds like her. I promise I'm not her. You hurt people for it. Listen, you do it. They're like, say that for me. No. Oh my god. You hurt people for a living. I am not. If you say you hurt people for a living, you ruin lives. And I will put this audio up online for 24 hours for you, because I know that's what you're calling for. Why did you say you hurt people for a living? You hurt people for a living, you ruin lives. You hurt people for a living.
You ruin lives. People thought it was that you do it their life. Oh, yeah. I think you're going to be hers. I can't think of a tougher job than what you have. Oh, it's great. It's awesome. I feel this every day, but that one really takes it. So if you would put that online so that I could play that for my team today, I would appreciate it so much. How many times during a week do you gather everybody around to listen together to the recording of a call you just took? We have never had anything like that. That's a special one right there. That really is. That, that, I swear. That is the best. I mean, I'm driving and I'm just crying laughing like, oh my gosh, my team is going to die. You guys are the best. I appreciate you. Thanks, Dee. Have a good day. You do, dad. That was her. You hurt people for a living. You do it their life. Hey, the bird show.
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