Vault: Her Birthday Proposal Plan Hits Another Snag

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1:00because we find the right people for your roles fast, which is our absolute favorite F word. In fact, four out of five employers who post on Zippercruder get a quality candidate within the first day. Fantastic. So whether you need to hire four, 40, or 400 people, get ready to meet first rate talent. Just go to zippercruder.com slash zip to try Zippercruder for free. Don't forget that zippercruder.com slash zip. Finally, that zippercruder.com slash zip. This is The Bird Show. Framiously on The Bird Show. She's taking matters into her own hands. It's interesting because he had said before that he wasn't the marrying ties. And you know, if you're together, you're together, but I really feel with 100% certainty that he's gonna say yes. He's the love of my life and he's terrific. I'm really excited. And you're that sure he's gonna say yes. You're that sure he's gonna be as excited as you are. I am positive.

2:01That was us talking in Kimberly right before Christmas. She was gonna propose to him on Christmas morning in front of his entire family. Well, he found out about it and he put a stop to that if you remember this. And he said, don't be mad. But my dad told me what you were planning. Oh, no. Sold you out. He said, you know, Kim, I love you. I want to be with you. He's like that this isn't the time where the place to do this. But he did say, I'm not saying that it can't happen. He's just saying not right now. You know, I was kind of figuring, okay, well, maybe he's gonna ask me. I thought, okay, maybe, you know, knew your teeth. He's gonna ask me, he didn't ask, but his birthday is coming up. If nothing happens before his birthday, I'm gonna present it to him on his birthday. Oh, no. No. He's so funny. Oh, man. And don't do it. And this is you getting caught up on it too, right, Jen? Yeah, I was just listening to those clips. I hadn't heard those before

3:01because I was out sick before the holidays. And then I was in Los Angeles when you guys followed up with her. Okay. So this will be my first time actually talking to her. Well, now you know what crazy sounds like. And I'll just overly eager to go down the aisle. That's what I would say. And she was at this place that you used to tell us you were at where like around every corner, you thought there was a proposal. So there was an excitement and a disappointment. Yeah, I think when you've been with somebody a really long time, you start to expect that a lot more often than you do in the beginning stages. And I don't know how long have they been together. I can't remember. Can't really how long you guys been together? A little over two years. Two years. Maybe a little premature. Yeah. Eagerness. Well, this guy never wanted to get married in the first place. And he declared he said, I don't want, I'm not the marrying type. I don't want that. He told her straight up, that's just not for me. But she knows different. But that was before she came along. So she feels like it's different. I can change him. So she was going to wait until his birthday, which was supposed to be this weekend here. So what was your course of action going into the weekend, Kimberly? Well, I mean, he knew that I had made plans for his birthday.

4:05I made his favorite dinner. And we decided that we were just going to stay in. Like both of us have had pretty long work weeks. And so I, you know, when we woke up on Sunday, like I've all day long, like everything was just beautiful. I mean, like we had a really nice brunch and did a little shopping. And then we came back. And I made a really nice dinner for him. And, you know, we had a little bit of wine. And afterward, we went to the living room and we were just, you know, we're thinking about watching the movie, you know, he's like, oh, let's watch a movie. And I said, oh, you know, I'd rather spend some time with you. And I went to go where I was hiding my engagement ring in the audio cabinet. Your engagement ring? No, his, I got a man gauge right ring, like a engagement ring for him. Yeah, that makes sense. If you're the one proposing, that's, that's, that's good in a mask waiting. It's really nice though. I mean, it's a beautiful, it's, it's titanium. He has gorgeous ring. Like it's a very manly ring.

5:06It's so nice. Does that go on his finger? Does it go tightly around his testicles? He has no testicles left. No, it goes on his finger. And so he saw me going in the cabinet. And I turned around and he's like, stop. He's like, if you are going to do what I think you're going to do, he's like, don't do it. Really? And I was like, you have no idea what I'm going to do. And he's like, I think I have a pretty good idea. He's like, I love you, Kim. I want to be with you. He's like, but don't do this. And I immediately, you know, felt like, I mean, he knew what I was going to do. But he, he chopped me off. He's like, right at the knees. He's like, just don't even ask. Don't even bring it up. And I didn't want to argue with him about it. But I really wanted to know. You know, I said, you ride around Christmas when I asked him, when I was going to ask him before he said, it's not like I don't ever want to get married.

6:06I just can't think about it right now. And so I asked him. I said, well, when I was going to ask you on Christmas, that morning when we were talking, you said that you were in love with me. And I was, you know, never like any other girl that you dated and you saw your future with me, you know, were you just, you know, thanking my chain as my grandpa says? Or are you telling the truth? And he said, you know, I want to be with you again. He's like, I'm not saying never, which is a little in because he used to say never, you know, he's like, I'm not ready to get married right now. That's the equivalent of the, I don't love you that way. But you do love me. I don't know about that because why not just break up with me? I mean, if he wants to be single, which I don't, which he doesn't, because like I said, everything in our relationship has been, I've waited basically for every move from him. Like he told me I love you first. He's the one who said that he wanted to move in. You know, like I let him set the pace,

7:07but when it came around to actually getting married, because of what he said before, I thought, you know, I'd take that chain. It's not that I want to change him. I don't want to change him. I want to be very clear. I don't want just a wedding. A lot of women just want the huge wedding. I don't, I don't want that. I just want to be married to him, you know, if we're going to have kids. But the relationship is sort of going that way naturally. Why do you keep pushing it? You just said he's the one that said I love you. He's the one that moved in with you. So he's showing you how much he loves you. And he's showing you that he can commit. So why are you pushing it so much? Why can't you let it happen naturally? Well, I don't want to, I hate to use that word push because it makes it sound like, you know, like I'm... Pushing? No, like intentionally trying to, you know, manipulate him into something and I'm not. I just, I guess I just want to know, you know what I mean? It's really big.

8:08It's to say, oh, I'm not ready now, but maybe in a couple of years. Well, maybe in a couple of years. I mean, so... Okay, well, if it's your standard that after two years, you want to be married. And he says he's not, then are you going to just give in? That's the decision that you have to make. If he's not ready to get married, he's setting his boundaries with you. And you're, you have to then set your boundaries with him. And if it doesn't live up to your expectations, then you've either got to change what your expectations are. And, you know, hopefully without losing a little bit of yourself in the meantime, but you've also got to realize like if, if this is your line in the sand, then you have to stick to it. Are you prepared for this? Because if you feel like you've been bullied, like if you've been pushed by its only been about his pace or his demands, you'll always resent him for that. Well, I don't feel like, I mean, I don't, I want to really be clear. Like he's not, I don't feel like I have to get married to him right now. Like I'm not saying that was part of the up. Well, I didn't even bring it up, but I was thinking in my head,

9:10even if we're engaged for like three years, it's still another level of commitment that I know something's gonna happen. Hence the promise ring. Do you get it? It's a great example. Like I asked you the promise ring. You know, I'd be happy with that. We haven't talked about it since then, but it's really just, it's not that I want to be married like right now. I have to get married right now. I just, I want that next level, you know, and it doesn't. I'm tired of being called a girlfriend. Yeah, exactly. Well, what are you, what are you, what a promise friend? Like if you just get the promise ring, then what are you? Yeah, that's fine. That's the thing. You could be fiance. When you're out of middle school, then what is that called? The promise ring is not an engagement, so you're not a fiance at that point. Well, you know, it's interesting because my sister had a promise ring before she got an engagement ring because her, her now husband at the time, he didn't have any money. And he's like, I want to buy you a nice ring, but I can't, this is a promise to let you know that, you know, when, when things are better for me financially, I will ask you to marry me. And it was beautiful. So, but what did she, Bird's Point is, you just said you want to be, go to the next level,

10:12you don't just want to be a girlfriend, but if you're not wearing an official engagement ring, then how do you introduce yourself? You know, it doesn't, that's my point. I don't really care like so much what other people think. But honestly, I'll tell you the truth. Like there, there are people at, at my work who think that we're already engaged, and they call him my fiance, and I don't correct them, you know, because I know that we're together. I mean, I don't wear an engagement ring, but they say, oh, your fiance. You know, and it's, because everybody knows us together. But Kimberly, I mean, I think Jan probably broke it down with common sense to you. Here's the deal. You have a timetable in your mind, okay? That's exhibit A. Exhibit B is, you have a guy that loves you and is showing you that and is giving you everything you want except he's not on the same timetable as you are. So here's common sense. Are you ready to cut yourself loose and allow this guy to take off based on your timetable? Are you sacrificing too much of yourself right now?

11:14I would say like, as of today, I would say no. But if it's within two years, I would say absolutely. Well, yeah, I mean, that's a world of difference though. So why push it? I'm not really though, because that was, like I said, I didn't mention it because I didn't want to press the issue, but I've known couples who've been engaged for like five years. But you just said, listen, listen, listen, take the emotion out of it. You just said in two years, you'll really feel like you're being taken advantage of. You're not there right now. So stop proposing to them. Well, I've, I've done, stop proposing to him. I think that she's not being completely honest when she says it's two years. I think she wants it now or maybe within a year from now to be married to him. And there's nothing wrong with that, but he's not on the same page. So you just have to realize, are you going to sacrifice yourself too much if you wait around? Or are you okay to wait around? Like I said, I mean, I think my, my limit would be two years.

12:16I'm 20, thanks. Okay, if, if, if, if we're engaged by, you know, by the time I'm 28. Do you see this calendar that's always going on in women's minds? Right. And in some cases, I agree with it. Like, I mean, if you've been engaged for a long time and you feel like at this point, it's time for you to cut your losses because you're really not sure if he's going to propose or not, then I do think that you should have a timetable in your mind. But if he's not anywhere near that yet, then why are you even stressing yourself out about it? Well, it's not something that I'm stressing myself out as it is that I'm just hopeful. You know, when he said to me, he said, it's not that I, and he has never, ever said anything before, which makes me stay, I mean, a positive towards marriage, which makes me think that he, he is leaning towards me, like wanting to do it sooner. Like I said, I mean, I'm not, I'm not the nagging girl. Like, where's my ring? Where's my ring of bringing home bridal magazines? You're crazy.

13:16I guess you are. Yeah, you're, you're crazy here than that because you're, you're, you're not bringing home bridal maids bring or magazine, but you're bringing home rings to put out his finger. Hey, Ronnie, go ahead, you're like you 100. All right, how you guys doing today? Okay. All right, yeah, my opinion is, I think this girl is pushing it to the limit that this guy is just going to leave. Agreed. Yeah, she, she sound desperate. I mean, she's not desperate. I know a couple of guys are knee-papers, you know, they don't marry her a lot of weight. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Kim, so what is your next course of action here? Are you going to just, now you sit back and you wait? Yeah, I'm definitely, I'm not going to ask him again. I mean, I'm going to wait. I'm going to give him like another two years. And then I have to do what I have to do, you know? I mean, it can't just be all about like what he wants. Yeah, I agree with that completely. I think you've got to come up with your, you know, what you have in your mind and go with that. Right, that's good. But at this point, you still got two years you said until that happened. Yeah, she wants it sooner than two years, two years from now. Yeah, if you're pulling out a ring twice in a month,

14:17it's, yeah. You're never going to make it the same. I want you tomorrow. I'm not going to ask him again. That'd be crazy. Thanks for the update, Kim. You're welcome. Bye-bye. This is The Bird Show. Finding great candidates to hire can be like, well, trying to find a needle in a haystack. Sure, you can post your job to some job board. But then all you can do is hope the right person comes along, which is why you should try Zippercrooter for free. At zippercrooter.com slash zip. Zippercrooter doesn't depend on candidates finding you. It finds them for you. It's powerful technology identifies people with the right experience and actively invites them to apply to your job. You get qualified candidates fast. So while other companies might deliver a lot of, hey, Zippercrooter finds you what you're looking for. The needle in the haystack. See why four out of five employers who post a job on Zippercrooter get a quality candidate within the first day. Zippercrooter, the smartest way to hire. And right now, you can try Zippercrooter for free.

15:18That's right. Free at zippercrooter.com slash zip. That zippercrooter.com slash zip zippercrooter.com slash zip. Warning, the following Zippercrooter radio spot you are about to hear is going to be filled with F words. When you're hiring, we at Zippercrooter know you can feel frustrated for Lauren even. Like your efforts are futile. And you can spend a fortune trying to find fabulous people only to get flooded with candidates who are just fine. Fuck. Fortunately, Zippercrooter figured out how to fix all that. And right now, you can try Zippercrooter for free at zippercrooter.com slash zip. With Zippercrooter, you can forget your frustrations because we find the right people for your roles fast, which is our absolute favorite F word. In fact, four out of five employers who post on Zippercrooter get a quality candidate within the first day. Fantastic. So whether you need to hire four, 40, or 400 people, get ready to meet first rate talent. Just go to zippercrooter.com slash zip

16:20to try Zippercrooter for free. Don't forget that zippercrooter.com slash zip. Finally, that zippercrooter.com slash zip. Warning, the following Zippercrooter radio spot you are about to hear is going to be filled with F words. When you're hiring, we at Zippercrooter know you can feel frustrated for Lauren even. Like your efforts are futile. And you can spend a fortune trying to find fabulous people only to get flooded with candidates who are just fine. F**k. Fortunately, Zippercrooter figured out how to fix all that. And right now, you can try Zippercrooter for free at zippercrooter.com slash zip. With Zippercrooter, you can forget your frustrations because we find the right people for your roles fast, which is our absolute favorite F word. In fact, four out of five employers who post on Zippercrooter get a quality candidate within the first day. Fantastic. So whether you need to hire four, 40, or 400 people, get ready to meet first rate talent. Just go to zippercrooter.com slash zip

17:20to try Zippercrooter for free. Don't forget that zippercrooter.com slash zip. Finally, that zippercrooter.com slash zip.