The Real Problem with Alcoholics Anonymous

I don't think anyone judges people who go to AA, I don't think that's the one

anyone criticises AA, it's not because they're judging the people that go there

and the same, well I don't want to go there because of those people, right? I don't

think that's the case at all. Certainly not from my perspective anyway. I think

most people who are judging AA, are judging it based on their own

principles, their own values, their own beliefs. They look at AA through the

processes that, you know, a widespread, I mean all you have to do is look at

their 12 steps and it shows you exactly what the processes are, really bit into

that and then, you know, you judge it from that perspective. This guy says,

your hand, talk soy, he said, why every YouTuber who's talking about quitting

alcohol always has a negative thought about AA, there's no benefit to anybody.

Some people who need AA will use this as an excuse not to join AA meetings,

believe me, going there and saying I'm an alcoholic is courage for some people and

some of us needs others who experience similar things and listen without

judging. Look, you know, like I said, nobody is saying that you shouldn't go to

AA and that it doesn't take courage to own up to whatever it is that you're

going through, own up to the, to the problems that you're facing in this

journey. Nobody's saying that, but just because you don't say that, it doesn't

mean to say that this is not a benefit to other people, that other people

don't see the benefits in AA or not going to AA or going to some other place,

you know, I mean, like I said, if you, if you're able to, for many years, there

was only AA there, that was the only thing that was around. So you had no real

choice, even now if you go to a lot of doctors, a lot of medical institutions,

if you go to a lot of the rehabilitation clinics, they will have AA or the

12-step system as a part of some form of that as a part of their process.

And you know, for me, neither the AA nor the rehabilitation clinics work on

their own. I think, you know, there's, there's a lot of people that I think

some people need AA because that's where they're thinking pushes them, you

know, they believe that they're an alcoholic, they believe that there is

damage to themselves that they are disease and they always will have this

disease. There's other people that don't believe that. I don't see myself

ever as having a disease. And it doesn't matter how many people say to me,

well, you're not a real alcoholic, that it's like over the top of my head,

right? Doesn't make any difference. And so nobody saying my whole thing

about the AA is looking at the 12 steps. And that first step, saying that

you're out of control is enough for me. You know, I want to live my life through,

I want to be the best possible version of myself in my life. And that means

that I have to really sit back and take notice of what I'm doing in my life to

myself, how I'm conducting myself in life. You know, and that goes to say a

lot to say that I drank alcohol for over 30 years, you know, I'll hold my hands

up about that. It's a stupid thing to do. But there you go, I did it. And, you

know, there comes a time when you have to step, stand back and say to yourself,

well, it doesn't matter what I've done in the past, I am here where I am.

Now I can't change any of that stuff. But what I can change is moving forwards.

I can make a commitment that I am not putting the alcohol inside my mouth

again, right? And B, I'm going to leave all the alcohol and the alcohol

thinking behind me. And in order to do that, I've got to take 100%

responsibility for myself. And that means not only 100% responsibility for

the drink that I'm not going to put into my mouth in the future, right? That I

control it. But I have to take responsibility for all the alcohol that ever

went into my body, that every drop of alcohol that I've ever went in there was

put there by me and nobody else. I made the decision. It's a binary decision

right? You either choose to put it in or you don't. You choose to eat the pizza

or you don't, right? You choose to smoke the cigarette or you don't. It's the

same thing. And that's my thinking of it. So that first step of AA just

precluded me from from everything else. You know, the fact that I talk to

people, I know this is a different subject and you know, people get addicted to

the idea of going to AA. And you see people going there 10 and 20 years after

they'd stopped that they still feel that there are colleagues that they're just

one drink away from not having any alcohol anymore. And you know, like I said,

that's a different thing. So I think if you're, I'm not saying that there isn't a

benefit to somebody who gets a benefit from that type of thinking who will go to

a meeting and get benefit from those those type of people. I won't because I

know that just by the 12 steps, I know that people are going to be there not

looking at themselves with responsibility for themselves and

responsibility for all the alcohol that they put in. They will say that one

version or other of I have a disease, I am an alcoholic. I need to stay

sober and I'll need to stay sober for the rest of my life and I'll always be an

alcoholic and I don't need that. You know, that's just not in my in my DNA. So I

look at that first step, that number one principle, I'll make you're out of

control and I knew that every drop of alcohol that I ever put into my body was

there put there by me and every drop of alcohol that I didn't put in my body was

there because I didn't put it there, not because anybody else told me, not

because there was a higher power telling me. And even if you believe in a higher

power, right, that's I think, you know, I have a different idea about that as

well. So, you know, I'm building a life of commitment which needs that

responsibility. So, nobody is saying that you don't have the courage to step up

and to to say you're an alcoholic. You know, I just think that it's once you start

using that terminology on yourself, it's a very it's a very unclear terminology.

It's good for doctors, maybe to use that and say, well, somebody's got this

disease or that disease, but I don't think it helps the normal person. I really

don't, you know, if it depends again on where you want to go in your life on

what you want to do with your life, but if you want to progress and if you want

to make the most and be the best version of yourself, I don't think you can use

that. You know, when you say, some of us need others who experience similar

things, right? You know, that's fair enough, but you're not really you're not

really looking for somebody who experienced similar things. You're looking for

people who interpret things in a similar way to what you are. So, if you came

to one of our group meetings, you wouldn't be told any of this stuff, you'd be

told that you are responsible for everything, that you're responsible for all

the alcohol that put into your into your mouth, that there is no victims except

what you make yourself. So, you know, it is where it is. So, if you're not, if

you're not hearing those stories, you know, when you go to where people are

going to tell you those same stories, you know, this was the drink, the demon

drink, this is what took me over and whatever. And so, I think if you're looking for

people who share those interpretations and that's all fair enough, I'm not, you

know, if that's your thing, then do it. And we have to judge, you have to make

judgments in life, you have to, you know, we are all prejudiced in our own ways,

we have to prejudge something in order to say, well, is this going to work for me

or is this not going to, not going to work for me? And I know for me and for most of

the people that come to us, I have it's unplugged, and this is not going to work

for them. They, they were shying away from alcohol specifically for that one

thing, you know, for, not only for the religious aspect, not only for going and

listening to people's drunken lugs all along, you know, listening to those

drunken stories and people getting into the reliving their, their all lives

because they can't live them now, you know, because they can't live those

drunken stories. You know, we don't want to listen to that. So it comes from that

perspective. So I hope you understand that we're not, when anyone gives out

about the AA or criticizes the AA, we're criticizing the system, we're

criticizing the principles and the values and the AA holds in the big book.

And not the people that go there. I know people who are also in my program who

will go and visit AA meetings every so often because they want that

perspective and they want to understand that perspective. So it's not for me,

but you know, if it's for you, then good for you. So I hope that helps and

clarifies our position on this. If you want help from us, have it's free to

.com is where all of our programs are where we are nonjudgmental in any

sense, we try and help you to see past those words of alcoholic and sober and

recovery and try to leave alcohol in your past as quickly as possible. I

believe that as soon as you stop drinking alcohol, then you should stop

thinking about alcohol. You should stop thinking about alcohol as a part of

your life, right? It was something that you did in the past, but now we're

moving on to it. You may have a time in your life when you have to a period

when you stop the flow of alcohol and then you have to adjust and cope with

life with alcohol, cope with all the things that happen and then transition

into this new way of thinking. But if you, I always believe in trying to get

away from the drink as identity as quickly as possible. The drink as

identity is all of the thinking, the mindsets, the ways that you do things,

the routines, the habits that are revolving around alcohol. And it's not just

the alcohol habits that do it, that we're talking about here. But all of

those things in one way or another form, a way of thinking, a way that you

live your life and the quicker we can break that down, the easier it is to

start building up a rock solid foundation of proper habits. And I don't

think you can do that if you hold it unto alcoholism as a thing that is

going to, is there in the background? You know, how can you? Because you know,

you're not only looking at alcoholism as a thing. For me, it's you're putting

responsibility onto something that you don't control, right? No matter where

you go in this, in this, to stop drinking alcohol, you still have to take

responsibility for not putting the alcohol in GMM. No matter where you go, it

all comes down to you anyway. So why take on the added burden of of calling

yourself an alcoholic? You know, I don't see the purpose in it. Anyway, take

care of yourself and I'll speak to you again soon. I'm with an