The Quran on Psychological Trauma

0:00this audio is brought to you by Muslim Central. In Western psychology, you are the center of the universe. You are the most important character. In the Quran, Allah is the most important entity. So your healing is not coming from inside, it's coming from outside, it's coming from Allah. Is it possible that Allah is commanding you to do something? And if you do it, you're going to be traumatized. We are now experiencing, we're looking at these prophets and we're understanding that what they experience is not a small amount of trauma, it's extreme. It's an extreme form of trauma. And there's a lot of social media content about how traumatic, how toxic your mother is, and what a narcissist your brother is. Allah did not call Firauna Narcissist, who calls himself God, Allah said, go speak to Firauna softly, maybe he will change. But in this new modern psychology, once you're a narcissist or once you're toxic,

1:01you're radioactive, you can't change, you're done, finished. The difference between us and the Christian creed is you're broken and you will always be broken. With us, you can break and then you can fix again. And then you can break and you can what? Fix again. The thing I wish to talk to you about today is a very heavy subject. And that is human emotions in the Quran. I I want to start by sharing some highlights of my Belgian and Netherlands experience this morning. I went to a school, one of my highlights was I went to a school and of course I heard all these kids playing around at the school and everybody speaking Dutch. I don't mind. Dutch. And we were going to leave, but we decided to stop by one of the classrooms.

2:05And so we're just outside the classroom and the teachers still teaching and it was a say, he went in and got permission and the door was open. So the kids could hear me talking to my colleague in English. And the kid in the last row looked at me happy. And he said, you speak English? I was the one supposed to be surprised that he speaks English, but he was surprised that I speak, because you speak English, I was like, you speak English? He goes, yeah. So I sat down with him in the back of the class, we started talking. I was like, how did you learn English? He said, YouTube. I said, no, what do you watch on YouTube? He said, I don't want to tell you. So we kept having a conversation. And then just for fun, I said, you know what? I think I'm on YouTube. He goes, no. So then I took out my phone and I looked myself up on YouTube. He goes, that's you. Wait, my dad has seen you. And then he started doing a facial recognition,

3:05just to verify if that's me. And in the meantime, the rest of the kids were staring. And the teacher for some reason put me up on the screen. On the class screen. But he put one of the, you know, they had these videos of the cartoon animation or voiceover thing. So there's a cartoon me. And one of the girls says, it's that guy. So that was a really fun experience with those kids. There were lots of lots of fun. The second experience was after Khutbah at the Mesh did. A lot of people came up to me and said, Saddam and a young man came up to me and said, it's good content. Are you on TikTok? I said, I don't know. Because I'll look you. I'll find your TikTok is good stuff. I like you. I felt very validated by the 14-year-old. Well, anyway, habulu. It's good to be here. And I was actually very confused about what topic I should share with you. There are a number of subjects that I've been wanting to give a lecture about

4:07from the Quran and from my observations. But I was holding back and I didn't decide. And the reason I didn't decide is I like to come to a community and kind of observe what's going on as much as I can before I choose what to talk about. So this topic was chosen an hour ago. So it's going to be pretty bad, but that's your fault. Okay. The thing I wish to talk to you about today is a very heavy subject. It's something that I've been studying on and off for a few years. But in Shal'a' love, my team and I are going to be dedicated to studying this subject, I think probably for the next four or five months, at least full time, in the Quran. And that is human emotions in the Quran. How to understand Allah's commentary on human emotion in the Quran. And I'm just picking one of those emotions today or one of those human experiences, not all of them. Because before I get into the subject, I want to share just one basic foundation issue with you.

5:08A lot of people, when they go through a difficult time today, they're told, go speak to a therapist, go speak to a counselor, go speak to some mental health professional. You're depressed, you have anxiety, you have atrama, you have something, and you need to speak to some kind of counselor, right? And I don't disagree, I don't disagree. However, it's very important that we understand that Western psychology, meaning psychology in Europe, America, Canada, Australia, the Western world, and the universities that are producing the people that are qualified in psychology. They are based on a foundation of, you know, their akhida documents, the founders of Western psychology. And in Western psychology, there are a few things that we have to take note of. And those few things are the most important thing for you is you. The center of the universe is you.

6:12Your world is yours. And whatever you're experiencing, in order to understand it, we have to understand you better. So we have to go back in your past and we find out what happened in your childhood, what was your mother like, what was your father like, what was your experience like? Oh, that was a trauma you experienced when you were five years old. And this is a trauma that happened to you when you were 10 years old. And this is what happened to you when you were a teenager. And you had this trauma and this trauma and this trauma and this trauma and these traumas shaped you and that's why you are the way you are, etc., etc. There's this. So basically the therapist, not every therapist, but generally, I'm generalizing here, is exploring an entire universe that exists inside you. And then from that, they'll come up with because you have these experiences, this is what we can do. And there's one, you know, there's many people that have pioneered in this field, but one particular person that is the father of Western psychology is Freud. I think everybody here knows that.

7:12And Freud has, this is not a lecture about Freud, I promise you. But one thing you do need to know about Freud. Freud is the secular version of Christianity. And I'll explain in a second what that means. Freud, according to me, Freud is the secular version of what? Christian tree, Christianity. Why? The Christians believe that Adam disobeyed God. The image of God was broken. He was shattered. He was brought to the earth, broken and in sin. So he was born in sin. And no matter what he does, he will always be broken. He can do all the good in the world. It will never be good enough. He will be broken and all of his children are born broken. That's why they're all born with original sin. And this can never be fixed. This can't, it doesn't matter how much charity they give, how much kindness they do, how good they are, how honest they are, how truthful they are. None of that matters. They are still drowned inside sin.

8:12They are all broken. And the only thing that can fix it is God himself. So he decided to slaughter his own son to fix this problem. So the problem started from Adam and the only thing that could solve this problem was the sacrifice of God's son. And finally, the humans are no longer broken if they accept Jesus as Lord. And so that's the Christian idea. But one thing that I want you to remember from this idea is all human beings start broken. The starting point is broken. In Freud's psychology, all human beings start traumatized. All of them. We all have a complex. We all have issues. Nobody's normal. And you're spending your entire life undoing your own trauma. There's no such thing as normal. There's no such thing. Now, this is something in common between the two. All human beings are broken. One is saying spiritually broken. The other is saying psychologically broken. But still broken. There's the Hadith of the Prophet,

9:12Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam. Very famous. I think everybody here knows it. Every newborn is born on the fitra. Allah says fitra tala, the beautiful, perfect nature of Allah, and Allah used that nature to create human beings. The kat halakna l-insanafi ahsani taqween. We created the human being in the most beautiful upright form. In the Qur'an, in Islam, human beings, the starting point of the human being is not that they are broken, that they are actually perfectly fine. They are on the fitra. They are perfectly fine. And then the Hadith goes on to describe that bad things happen later on. Or tarbiyah happens, bad tarbiyah about who you are, you are wa da'nihi, you are not seranihi, you are not jisanihi. The parents turn them into a Jew or Christian, imagine, and whatever else, right? That's later on. So, the starting point of understanding psychology, the root, the root, is completely different for the believers of Islam

10:13and for the study of psychology. And what happens then is there are Muslims who are now studying psychology in Western university. Yeah? And then they're trying to bring together Islam and psychology, and we're trying to create something called Islamic psychology. If we don't understand where the roots separate, and we're trying to connect the branches later on, it's never going to connect properly. They're not going to connect properly. So, this is something that's going to require deeper research. I'll be doing a lot of work on that and how we need to actually, there's a need for Muslims to actually develop Quranic psychology entirely new, entirely fresh, not from the Western paradigm, but from the Quran paradigm, from the Quran paradigm. Okay? So, when I wrote the, I told them to write this title on top and I wrote the word trauma. And the moment you see trauma, Western psychology comes to mind. And in Western psychology, all of you have been traumatized.

11:13And the other thing about, interestingly, about Western psychology is most Western psychological literature is based on middle class, European or Eurocentric people and culture. It has nothing to do with Africa, it has nothing to do with Asia, it has nothing to do with the Far East, it does, nothing to do with them. And in industrialized Europe, do families live together? After the industrial evolution, do mother, father, grandfather, uncle, cousins, do they live nearby each other? No. They don't have a concept of families living together. Do they have a concept of you have to be the best for your parents until they become very old? No, they don't have the concept. Do they have the concept of blood ties? You have to keep the blood ties, you have to connect people together, you have to get together with them, you have to share goodness with them, you have to give the first charity, good should go to your own family, do they have this concept? No, they have a concept of individual freedom.

12:14Individual freedom and in their society, for well over a century, even more now, your family is actually a trauma. You get really depressed because it's going to be Christmas and you're going to have to see your mother and she's going to make comments and that's why I need to go to my therapist before I go to the family reunion. I can't deal with my uncle, I can't deal with my brother, oh my god, my brother's calling again. Oh my god, my father. So every one of your family members is a problem in Western psychology. You understand? There's some kind of trauma associated with them. And there's a lot of social media content from professionals, non-professionals, people that want to become TikTok therapists, whatever, about how traumatic, how toxic your mother is, and what a narcissist your brother is, and what if you have a toxic family and an abusive family and a narcissistic family? What did they say?

13:14They said, pray. What did they say? What are you wearing? Oh my god, you do you, Queen. Right? So you have this because they don't believe in the idea of family that existed for centuries and centuries and centuries in every other society, but in Western society, family is a prison. And you have to free yourself from that prison. You have to free yourself from the trauma that was given to you by your mom and your dad. You have to free yourself from that. You have to find you, you know, become yourself. So we really, really need to understand this kind of therapy is also a dawa. This therapy is also a message. And it's not just happening inside the office of the therapist when somebody pays for counseling sessions. This is happening now in media, in television, in music, in literature, in classrooms, in it's being, you're being bombarded with this new psychology, this new psychology.

14:15So the, the roots are different, but the branches and the fruits are also completely different. They're completely different. And so when we try to fix our problems as Muslims from a Western psychological paradigm and go to them and they tell you, oh, so tell me about the relationship with your mother. Tell me about the relationship with your father. And my father, you know, sometimes on MS stuff, he was pretty tough. Oh, yeah, how did that make you feel? Scared? Oh, so your father put fear in you. That's why, that's why your marriage is failing right now. So my dad's fault. This is the mind warp that's happening. And we're learning these new labels and everybody's become a psychologist. Everybody, every teenager here knows who's toxic and who's a narcissist and who's got, you're throwing these words out just like that.

15:17Allah did not call fit out on a narcissist. Allah said, go speak to fit out softly. Maybe he will change. Okay, but today somebody would say fit out is a narcissist. He's an egotistical maniac. There's no point talking to him. Just block him. Okay, just you need to just avoid him. And if you run into him and you're traumatized, come back and talk to me because, you know, but Allah is telling Musa Ali said, I'm the go talk to fit out. Who calls himself God? But even then Allah says he can change. But in this new modern psychology, once you're a narcissist or once you're toxic, you're radioactive. You can't change. You're done. Finished. Now you're toxic for life. You're an abuser for life. You're a narcissist for life. These are labels. These are not behaviors. These are labels. They're permanent like your genetics. They're permanent. It's crazy. Anyway, now we're going to start up. That was the foundation. Now we're going to start the lecture.

16:17Okay, that was just okay. I'm going to give you two words today. I could give you tons of vocabulary, but I'm going to give you two words. First word is karb. Karb. If you don't, if you're not taking notes, which means you're a brother, it's okay. Oh, yeah, one brother. I have two exceptions. Oshallah. Oshallah. Okay. Allah reward you. The exception proves the rule. Sisters, the term is karb. Karb. Kafrabah, Kaerb, Kaarb. Like carbs. Okay. Let me tell you something about this word karb. When in Arabic, Al-Karab, Al-Dati Fijith, and Naqla, when they have palm trees, and they grow leaves, and they cut off all the leaves, and they still have the edges left, and the edges of a palm tree are strong, so you can step on them like a ladder. You can use them like ladders. That part of the palm tree, that's strong. That's called a karab, from the same word. When they have a rope, that they tie on the well, so they can lower the bucket,

17:21and they keep nodding it, and nodding it, and nodding it, even if the rope breaks, the knot is still stuck. That part of the knot that never breaks, that's called a karab also. So it's the part of the tree that never breaks, it's part of the rope that never snaps. It's also used for when they tie an animal's legs together, so it's not able to move, and it doesn't open. That's also called a karab. It's also used for the wood that the baker uses to, they have those bakeries where the bread is put inside the walls, and you have to have a very strong piece of wood to slap the bread inside. It can't break, it can't get on fire, it can't bend. That kind of tough wood is actually also called a karab, actually, it's called a karab. But anyway, there are other examples. You get the point. Something very tough, something that doesn't break. From this came this idea that a human being that experiences something that becomes very heavy and never breaks, the feeling that never goes away,

18:25a feeling, a weight, a burden, that never goes away, a stress that never goes away, an anxiety that never goes away, a fear that never goes away, a sadness that never goes away, and it's heavy, and you try to break it, but you can't break it, it's always there. It becomes a permanent part of your personality. That kind of a fear is called a karab, or that kind of a depression, or an anxiety, or a sadness, that kind of emotional burden is called a karab. It's very hard to break, it's fixed. That's the first word. The second word is ram. The word ram is used for, you know, ramama comes from it, which is clouds when they come, and you can't see the sun anymore. So they cover the clouds, they call ramama. The ramama, the maudwa, ala faam al ba'iyyra, al-hamar, or ala a'inayyannaka, they used to have this kind of mask. They sometimes they put it on the mouth of the camel, so it doesn't make a sound.

19:28They gag the camel. And sometimes they have another ramama, they put it on the eyes of the camel, so it doesn't look around. Then they have a ramama in the camel, so it doesn't smell because they're going to an area. If it smells, it's going to react and run away. So they put a cover on the nose. So a ramama is something that covers up. It's the cover, the clouds that cover the sky, the mass that covers the eyes or the nose or the mouth of the camel. It's actually from it, you get the word al-humam, which is a kind of sickness. Like if you have a sinus blockage and you can't breathe from your nose because your note nostrils are covered, that's actually called humam in Arabic. That's one of the words for it, okay? And from it, you get this idea that someone who is experiencing such a painful experience that because of that, even when they have a happy experience, it's blocked. They can't experience joy, they can't experience a smile, everybody else is laughing, they can't laugh.

20:28Everybody else is excited, they're not excited. They're sitting there watching a football final, everybody's going, and they're going, how was it? It was fun. This is amazing. Right? This person who's not able to, you know, a lot of people describe feeling numb, do you know what I mean by that? I can't experience joy like I used to. I can't experience excitement, I can't experience happiness. Nothing, you know, gets my blood flowing. I'm experiencing something called, hum is a kind of numbing feeling. Hum is a kind of blockage, an emotional blockage. Now I'm not able to feel what I used to feel. In fact, hum can be so powerful that you don't even cry. Hum can happen at a funeral, everybody's crying, and you're not feeling it, you're not feeling it. You're blocked. And people are looking at you like, your dad just passed away, your brother just passed away, why aren't you crying? I don't know.

21:29I can't feel anything. I'm not supposed to cry, but I can't. This feeling is called what? So you've got two really heavy emotions. Karb end. I could have given you like eight more because these are all negative emotions. There's lots of them in the Quran, but I wanted to just focus on two of them. Hold on to that in the back pocket. And now let's talk about some prophets. We're going to start where I'm going to give you, you will do your own homework. This is from Surat Al-Ambia, Surah No. 21, and this is going to be from Ion No. 65 onwards. And we're not going to do all of the ayat just pick and choose some parts. We're starting with Ibrahim Aleyhi Salaam. When Ibrahim Aleyhi Salaam was a young man, and this is where you need to start making some noise. I will ask you questions and you will call out answers with no hesitation. I know your Europeans, so you're very civilized, but today you act like you're an American at a baseball game. Come! You've got to be loud.

22:29I'll ask you questions. You just answer out loud. I want to hear your answers. Ibrahim Aleyhi Salaam was when he was very young, did he experience any kind of trauma? Okay, let's talk about his trauma. Where did his trauma come from? Who was traumatizing him? His father, very good. His father. Okay, so now there's a young man, and his father is angry with him. His father is very angry with him. His father is telling him, if you imagine, we don't know, but just use your imagination, you have a webcam inside the house of Ibrahim Aleyhi Salaam, and the webcam is pointing at the father. Not at Ibrahim Aleyhi Salaam, because we don't fill the profits. So the camera is on his father, and his father's yelling at him. What kind of things does he say? What do you think? What do you think he says to Ibrahim Aleyhi Salaam? Use your imagination. Huh? You're weird.

23:30Why are you so weird? You're obnoxious. You're ungrateful. You're a bad son. What else? Come on. Come on. Some of these things are not coming from imagination. They're coming from experience. Come on. Come on. Ah, you're ashamed for this family. You're such a disappointment. You're a disgrace. How are you, my son? You're lazy. Because he wasn't building the idols, I guess. That's a good one. That's a lot of stuff. Is it important for a child, a boy, that his dad is proud of him? Okay, so when you're a kid, you're a kid, and you do well on the test,

24:33you do well, or you're a kid, you're playing football, and your dad is watching the match, and you score a goal. A bunch of people are happy. Where do your eyes go first? Dad. That's like basketball, that's like what I was like. Dad is proud. If you did well, if you did well, and your father came and gave you a hug, and father said, I am proud of you. If your friend said, I'm proud of you, if your mom said, I'm proud of you, because mom's proud of you, even when you got arrested for selling drugs, you're still proud of you, like your mom doesn't know. But your dad, when your dad is proud of you, oh, when your dad says, good job, my, I'm from Pakistan, and in Pakistan, it is haram to encourage your children. We don't, we have a different mud hub, and

25:38okay, and in our mud hub, we don't encourage children. So my father is an accept, he tries, he tries, I love my dad, and I'll tell you something about my dad, love him to death. The most my father will ever give me, when he's really proud of me, really proud of me, he'll give me a hug and say, satisfactory. And and satisfactory is actually the highest thing, it's pretty high. There's one underneath that, it's acceptable. And then when my sister graduated from medical school, he said, good. And I said, hey, you had that one too? She got the highest one, she got good. Encouraging words from a father mean everything. Everyone else can say whatever, but when your father validates you,

26:40it does something nobody else can do. But when a father puts you down, when a father puts you down, a father says you're lazy, when a father says you're a disappointment, when a father says you're useless, when a father says I'm ashamed of you, when a father says why can't you be like those other boys? When a father looks at you and doesn't even say anything and all the disappointment is on his face, just on his face. Or you come in and say, that breaks a man, it breaks a child. You know what it tells a child? He doesn't care. I can never impress him, I can never make him happy. You know what? I don't care about making anyone happy. I can't make him happy. So you know what? Why do I have to care about anyone's feelings? Because the one person you cared about their feelings so much, that you want to see something from them, something positive from them,

27:42they didn't give it to you. So now you get traumatized and you don't care about what? Anybody else is. Because you didn't get the validation from your dad. Let's go back to Abraham, Alayhi Saddam. His father is telling him he's a disappointment, he's weird, he's not like everybody else. Why is he such a loser? Why is he so strange? Why is he crazy? He had such high hopes for him. He's giving the father a bad name. He's hearing all these things. Are these easy things for any child to hear? No, no. Go further in this young man's life and what do you experience? This young man, Abraham, Alayhi Saddam, his entire society, at least when your dad doesn't like you, maybe you have friends who like you, yeah? Because a lot of times you don't get along with your dad, so then you get along with your friends. Usually the friends that you get along with are doing other bad things, rebellious things. Abraham, Alayhi Saddam doesn't even have a gang to hang out with.

28:46Not really. There's no bad crowd because he's the only good one in this society. He's a rebel by being good, not a rebel by being bad. Eventually, not only his father, the entire society, everyone is calling him weird. Everyone is saying we hate you. Everyone is now saying, you know what? Let's throw him into a fire. Let's throw him into a fire. By the way, go step back. Who used to build the idols? His father and who destroyed the idols? Yes. So the father built the idols and the son? Destroyed the idols. So now, who is the most angry with him? His father. So when they're throwing him in, throwing him in the fire, who's okay with it? Even his father's okay with it. Even his father's okay with it. And he's about to be thrown into a fire. Is that traumatic that you see your dad okay with you being burned alive?

29:46Is that traumatic? Okay. Very traumatic. You're right, young man. Very traumatic. Okay. So that's one, that's just one prophet. We are called, it is weird. We are now experiencing, we're looking at these prophets and we're understanding that what they experience is not a small amount of trauma. It's extreme. It's an extreme form of trauma. As a young man, as a child, let's go to Lut al-Hisalam. Does he experience trauma? He's an old man in the story, al-Hisalam. He's not a young man, he's an old man. So we saw the experience of a child in Sultanambhia. And right after that, we're seeing the experience of an old man, al-Hisalam. What kind of negative feelings is Lut al-Hisalam experiencing? Can you give me some idea? The disappointment? Or something more? Lowliness, nobody agrees with him.

30:47He feels alone, no support. Betrayal by his own people. Can't trust anybody. What else? Is he trying to help them understand something? Your your prophet. Allah chooses the prophets because they're very good at communication. One of the reasons he chooses prophets is they're very good at communicating. So he's doing everything he can to communicate with these people. Are they understanding him? No. Imagine you're trying to communicate. You're being logical, you're being reasonable. You're doing everything you can properly. And the people in front of you instead of them agreeing with you, they're disagreeing with you even more. And they're getting even more aggressive and more aggressive. Is that frustrating? The way that the frustration of Lut al-Hisalam is described. The way his frustration is, and plus he's an old man. He can't even defend his guests. He can't defend his family.

31:48He's feeling helpless. So he's helpless. He's alone. He's frustrated. He has no support. Are these feelings when somebody's sitting in a therapy somewhere? Do you feel helpless? Do you feel you don't have any support? Do you feel alone? Do you feel like nobody understands you? Do you feel like you're trying to communicate? But the people on the other side keep getting angry and they don't understand what you're trying to say no matter how clearly you say. You can't get across to them. Are these common experiences in people's lives? Lut al-Hisalam is experiencing it. You go a little further. And actually, go to Nuh al-Hisalam. Same Surat Al-Ambia. Keeps going. One trauma, Ibrahim al-Hisalam. Another trauma, Lut al-Hisalam. The next trauma? No, al-Hisalam. He's talking to one generation of people that don't listen to him. The next generation comes.

32:49He has hope to listen to him. Do they listen to him? No. And the next generation? No. He keeps trying and trying and trying with new people and new people and new people and they keep giving him the same results over and over and over and over again. His own son doesn't listen to him. His wife doesn't listen to him. The generations, new generations don't listen to him. The next generation doesn't listen to him. He's there for 950 years and nobody practically nobody's listening to him. Is it possible that you keep trying something and trying something and trying something and trying something and you don't see results year after year, month after month, year after year, attempt after attempt? What feeling do you experience? You feel pain, you feel hopeless. You feel depressed. You start saying, what's the point? Why am I doing this? Nothing's working. Nothing's changing. There's no reason for me to keep going. Even my own son doesn't listen to me. Even my own wife hates me.

33:49And then at the end of his story, at the very end of his story, he's trying to save his son. He still loves his son. And his son refuses to be saved. Are there people who experience that they have a child? They're trying to save that child and that child refuses to be saved? Does that happen today? Does that happen in families? They're trying everything way like an amen. They're trying to bring him back. Or does it want to listen? Does it want to listen? Once they're drowned. Are there people also that try to save their children, try to save their young son, their teenage son, their 20-year-old, their 22-year-old? They try to save their daughter and they couldn't save them. And they lost them. Did that happen? Yeah. Just like the story of who? No, Halay Sunat. He's experienced the trauma of trying and trying and trying. And not even being able to get through to his own family, not to mention generations of people. And by the way, there's another part of this.

34:51Nur, ala-his-Salam, feels like Allah gave him a mission, yes? He's a messenger. What's his mission? What's his mission? He's supposed to do what? Give his message. Does he feel like he's succeeded in giving his message? No. I don't think he feels like he's succeeded in giving the message. If the entire population of believers can fit on one boat, that's not a big population. That's not a big population. So it doesn't feel like a success for him. And on top of that, he lost his own family. Does he, is there a possibility there's a feeling like I failed? So not only did I fail people, I failed my family, I said, who does he feel he failed possibly? He failed Allah's plan of order. Allah is not happy with me. Is it possible a parent today? I actually even met a parent today who said, I'm trying to talk to my son. He doesn't pray. He doesn't listen. I'm afraid Allah is angry with me.

35:53I have failed Allah. And the moment he said that, I remember who? Nur, ala-his-Salam. Your trauma is in the Quran. It was experienced by someone. It was experienced by Nur, ala-his-Salam. Maybe Allah is not happy with me because I wasn't able to save my son. Maybe Allah is not happy with me because I wasn't able to save my spouse or my nation. This is the same fear that Rasulullah, ala-Hatsallahu alayhi wa sallam, Allah told him, fa laa ala kabahi on nefsaka ala-a'athadi him. Maybe you're going to kill yourself in depression because you keep thinking that these people aren't listening and the effect of them not listening is killing you. La ta'zani ala'idahim. Don't be, don't stop being sad over them. The Prophet was told. Now listen to these words. I give you two words that were heavy emotions. What were the two words? Karb and what do you remember about Karb? Let's see if you remember. Something solid, something strong that doesn't leave.

36:53Listen, Allah says about Nur ala-his-Salam. We rescued Nur and his family from a great karb. We rescued him from a great karb. Karb is a feeling that never leaves. Remember that? Karb is a feeling that stays. And Allah said, I saved him from that feeling. He was suffering from that feeling and Allah eventually lifted that feeling from him. So can trauma be removed? And the Quran. Can long-term trauma, trauma that's been there for 950 years, can it be removed? And Allah did not say he rescued him from the Qufar. He rescued him from the flood. He rescued him from the Tufan. And this way he says he rescued him from that? Karb because this is also a kind of adab.

37:56This is also a kind of punishment or it's not for torture. And this you need to be rescued from too. There's storms outside and there's storms inside. And Allah says he rescued him from the storm inside. Okay. Let's keep going. Right after the story of Nur ala-his-Salam, we see something very strange. We see Allah mentioning Daud and Soleimah. So let's see if you can remember the list. Who was mentioned so far in order? Ibrahim ala-his-Salam. Then? No, it's not. Then? No, it's not. And now? Daud and Soleimah. Daud and Soleimah. Okay. And Allah says about them. He said, and he gave him power over birds. So, and he made, we taught him how to make armor, meaning bend steel.

39:03Okay. Well, he Soleimah was given power over the wind. Daud has power over mountains and birds and he can bend metal. And Soleimah ala-his-Salam has power over the winds. Wa minashayatine. And he even power over Shayatine. Who go diving for him? Ya Ghul-Dun. So, they go yagusuna. Wa yamaluna. Amalanduna. Daalik. Every other situation before, somebody was powerless. You notice that? Ibrahim ala-his-Salam is powerless with his dad. Loot ala-his-Salam is powerless with his people. No, ala-his-Salam is powerless with his family. Allah the salan to prophets who seem to have what? They have a lot of power. And not only do they have power over, they had kingdom, they had Khilafah, they had armies and military, so they have power over people. People will do what they say, whether they like it or not, even Shayatine are doing what they say, whether they like it or not.

40:04Even Shayatine. So, Allah mentioned people that were traumatized and helpless and powerless, and all of a sudden, he mentioned people that are extremely powerful, extremely powerful, right after that. And then, by the way, just to show you, right after them, we'll come back to them in a second. Right after them, Allah says, wa ayuba, if naadarabahu, anni masaniya, burwa antar, hamura, Ahmin, Allah mentions ayuba ala-his-Salam. And ayuba ala-his-Salam didn't even have power over his own body. Not even over his own body. You saw prophets who don't have power over their dad, they don't have control over their wife or son, they don't have control over their society, they don't have control over, no control, no control. And now you get to such an extreme ayuba ala-his-Salam, he doesn't even have control over what? His own body. His own body. His own body is rebellion against him. It's not people who are hurting him, the body is hurting him. The body is hurting him. So, Allah mentions helplessness, helplessness, helplessness. And in the middle of that, He mentions two people that are extremely powerful,

41:05to teach us something very powerful. Among many things, I'll just focus on one thing. There's a saying that a friend of mine told me I really like it. The bigger your garden, the bigger the snakes. The bigger your garden, what do you say? The bigger the snakes. If you saw Salam ala-his-Salam has kingdom and he has power and he has military and he has armies and he has all this empire, you know what? The more power you have, the more snakes you have. You don't know who's trying to stab you in the back. And by the way, you don't have to have the kingdom of Da'ud and Salam alaimah. You guys, you started a business and it was you were just selling it on the street and then eventually you opened up a restaurant, now you own five restaurants. Right? And back then, things were different. Nobody liked you. Your cousins didn't like you. Nobody invited you. Now you own five restaurants. So, all of a sudden, everybody wants you to come over to their house for aid.

42:08And those cousins are really nice to you now. And they all have a great business idea for you. All of them. Was it possible that some of them are, they talk really nice in front of you and please come, please come visit us for aid. Please come to see us in Rada Lanke's when you, they know when you come with aid, you're going to come with stuff. Right? And the moment you leave, who does he think he is? He's got all this money he thinks he's better than us. Or just because he moved to Galgian. And we're still in Rabat. Right? You, when you become more successful, when you, Allah gives you more, you have to deal with more hypocrisy. You have to deal with people that are not sincere with you. Allah even mentions in the army of Salayman al-Hissalam al-Shayatine. Yes? He has power over the Shailatine.

43:08But are the Shailatine sincere to him or no? It's a question. By definition, what are they? Shailatine, he has control over people that want to see him dead. They want to destroy him. It's a different kind of problem. It's a different kind of stress. It's a different kind of anxiety because you don't see your enemy. With Nuh al-Hissalam, he sees his enemy. With Lut al-Hissam, he sees his problems. They see their problems. That's one kind of anxiety and stress. But when you're in a position of power, you could be shaking hands with your worst enemy. You could be sitting right next to your worst enemy. You don't even know. You don't even know. And they're not people in power. They're not blind. They know that they have these dangers. And these dangers are also a kind of stress and anxiety and concern. Right? It's its own problem. That is its own problem. So even though Allah mentions all the power they had, implicitly underneath that power is also a huge set of what?

44:08Problems. Huge set of problems. Okay. Ayuh al-Hissalam. I already told you he has no power over what? His own body. His own body. And Allah Azza wa Jalla says about him. And Nima Senya Duh. Harm has touched me. He's now turning to Allah and saying, I'm feeling the effects of the harm on me. And even though he was sick for a long time and hurting for a long time, the way that he's saying it is almost describing, it's now starting to affect the way I feel also. The way I, my worship, I don't want it to affect my worship. I don't want it to affect my relationship with you, Ya Allah. It's getting to a point where it's starting to, the trauma is starting to get to me. And to Al-Hamur Rahimine, look, I'm reaching a point where I have to to lodge a complaint. I have to say this is reaching a red critical state. It got to a point where you know, prophets can tolerate a lot. They can tolerate a lot. The fact that he even said this means it got to a very extreme stage

45:12to the point where he had to say this. But he got to, he had to even say this. And then of course, after that, there are prophets we don't know a lot about. We know some things about it. Is Ma'il al-Hissalam is mentioned. Is Ma'il al-Hissalam any trauma in his life, possibly? What? What was it? Is Ma'il al-Hissalam? No, no, no, not in Quran, in Quran. Before the sacrifice. My dad left and I've been raised by a single mom. And then when I was a young kid, wasn't even a teenager yet, my dad came back. I was so happy. We used to go running together. And then one day my dad says, come on son, let's go to the mountain. And you know what my dad did? My dad said he thought, dream. I don't have to fill in the blanks, do I? First of all, I was a lot safer when you were not here. You come back.

46:13I'm so happy my dad is back in my life. I feel safe again. You know, my soul, what does he want to do? I keep seeing that I'm slaughtering you. I keep seeing that slaughtering you. I've given a lecture on why that's in the Quran. Because Christians and Jews have a big problem, because people leave their religion, because of the story. They say, what kind of a god wants you to slaughter your own child? And we have the same story, right? We say, no, this is just a test from Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. And that's not enough of an answer, buddy. That's not enough of an answer. So I've done a whole lecture on just the sacrifice, just that sacrifice. And what it means in the Quran and how it's different from the Bible, completely, completely different. But anyway, that's not today. Ismail al-Ayesalam is traumatized also as a child. And not only is it ma'am traumatized, Ibrahim is traumatized all over again, because when he was a child, his father tried to kill him. And when your father tried to kill you, you say, one day I will have a child,

47:15and I will never let my child get hurt. Like the way my dad tried to hurt me. And how did Allah test him? Go do what? slaughter your child. That's a test on a test. That's some kind of test for the father and for the son. That's pretty traumatic. You keep going. And by the way, this test did not come from the people. Who did it come from? It comes from obeying Allah. This test is different from all the others. It came from what? Obeying Allah. The test of Ibrahim al-Ayesalam came from someone who's disobedient to Allah. The test of loot and new al-Him as-Salam came from people who are rebelling against Allah. The test of Dawud and Surah Ma'an even in power is coming from someone who wants to rebelling against Allah underneath their power. Okay, the test of Dawud al-Ayesalam, now the test of a you by now things are changing.

48:17The test of a you is not coming from people. It's coming from Allah. His body is not responding. He's sick. Who controls the body? Allah is the with it. There's no other person involved. There's no person involved. This is a test from Allah directly. And this is more indirect because this is the creation of Allah. But by the time you get to Isma'il al-Ayesalam, it's Allah's command to slaughter. Is it possible that Allah is commanding you to do something? And if you do it, you're going to be traumatized. I'll give you an example. You're like, no, no, no. If you obey Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, you can never be traumatized. Yes, you can. Let me traumatize you. Allah says, be honest. Right? Who will look on the city that speaks straight forward? You decide to be honest with your husband. You're keeping something inside and you decide, just going to sit here. You were thinking a million times I shouldn't say it.

49:19Because if I say it is going to be angry, if I say it is going to divorce me, if I say it is going to move back to Afghanistan, if I say he's going to hit me, if I say I'm going to be in trouble, if I say it, if I say it, if I say it, and you decide, you know what, I'm going to fear Allah and I'm just going to what? I'm just going to say it. Say, could it be that speaking the truth will get you in a lot of trouble? Speaking of the truth will get you thrown in a fire. Speaking of the truth will get you slaughtered. I'd say it's much easier to hide the truth than to speak the truth. To speak the truth. There's a family that I knew a long time ago. They were in the bar business. They owned a bunch of bars. One guy in the family decides he doesn't want to sell alcohol anymore. They make a lot of money from bars a lot.

50:20He decides he doesn't want to sell alcohol anymore. He didn't tell anyone because if he told them they would beat him up, they go crazy. They don't just sell the alcohol they also, you know. So he, but he finally decides to tell them they beat him up, they kidnap him, they try to take him to another country, they try to scare him, they take his house, his life became hell only because he decided what Allah has made Haram, I will not touch just because of that. And the people who hurt him were not some enemy from outside. It wasn't some government. It wasn't some foreign agency who was hurting him, his own family, his own family. Do you see that in many of these stories, the people who are causing the pain or their own family? Do you see the common thread trend? It's their own family that's calling the pain. Okay. We keep going. I actually missed one. What they're doing is they have a mobile. Skip one in the middle. This is Yunus al-Ai Salam.

51:23Like Noah al-Ai Salam, he's giving a message to his people. They're not listening. I keep trying to explain something to you. You're not listening. I keep explaining. You're not listening. I keep explaining. You're not listening. I had enough of this. I'm done. I'm done. Look, I'm giving you guys a lecture right now. You're sitting like civilized human beings. But if you started all of you yelling, screaming, spitting, throwing shoes, whatever. I'll speak for 10 more seconds. Calm down guys. Come on. I'm not dead. But eventually, what will I do? I'm out of here. I'm not coming back to Jank ever again. This place is I don't even bring that up. I get traumatized when someone even mentions Belgium. I don't even have a Belgian waffle anymore. I'll be done. Give me every other kind of chocolate. Why? Because I'm traumatized by the experience. I don't want to deal with it. If you got insulted at your job and you quit,

52:25you're going to go walk back into the office again. With a smile? And say, How do those same people never again? It's human. Humus Hadeh said, I'm being insulted by these people, rejected by these people. Day in, day in, day in, day in. And we just, he walked away. It's like, I can't take this anymore. He walks away. Is that a human thing to do? Is that a human emotion? Is it understandable? It's so dehumanizing when we think of this story and say, he disobeyed Allah's whanau tala. It's not that easy. First of all, put yourself in that situation to understand what happened here. If the Haba Mughaldeban, when he was so enraged, they keep making him angry. Mughaldeb actually has a response. It's Mufa'ala. So it's God Mu'aakasa in it. It reacts to something. It's Rabdufid. So what does this mean? It means that they kept doing things on purpose that they know may came angry until they would get that reaction out of him. And eventually, they got that reaction out of him and he walked away.

53:26They knew what would work. There are people in your life. They know exactly how to get under your skin. They know exactly what to say. See? I knew it. You're always like that. Ha, lazy like I always said. They know just the word that sets a fire inside you. And they use it just and then and then when you get angry. So this is your sub-er, huh? This is your sub-er? Yeah, I see. Want to give a khobba next week about sub-er? Okay? And they did this with Yunus Adhi Salaam. Now he gets angry in that moment. He walks away and we know what happens with him. And when he's in the way, I want you to tell me if you had a camera on the emotions of Yunus Adhi Salaam. We're talking about his emotions. What is he feeling?

54:27Okay, the anger is gone. What's he feeling now? He's feeling regret. He's feeling like nothing will ever get better. He's feeling that he disappointed who Allah SWT. There's something in him that never goes away. It's going to overshadow everything he does. This is going to overshadow everything he does. There's a mistake I made. This mistake will follow me everywhere in my life. It will never go away. And no matter what I experience, this mistake will always have it shadow on me. What's the kind of depression that has a shadow on you and it covers something? And Fashtajabna alahu wa najayna huwina l-gham We responded to him and we rescued him from hum We rescued him. Allah rescued you know, Nuh Adhi Salaam from what?

55:28Garud. And he rescued, in this case Yunus Adhi Salaam from what? hum hum The numbness was taken away. His joy could come back. His optimism could come back. He doesn't live in shame anymore. The shame is not following him everywhere. The guilt is not following him everywhere. The guilt is not overcasting and overshadowing everything he does. He's not constantly judging himself. He's not beating himself up anymore. Because the ram has been rescued from the ram. Allah says, wana jayna huwina l-gham But Allah didn't stop there. Allah said, Listen to this so beautiful. Wa qeza li ka nunjil minin And that is also how we rescue believers. Allah did not just rescue Yunus from ram. Allah says, And we also rescue who? All believers. So this was not just the story. This is something I will offering to everyone. I can let you escape your hum.

56:28There are people in your life that want to keep you in hum. You know that? There are people in your life they like to remind you what you did. They remind you of your mistake. They remind you the time you got angry like Yunus got angry. Adhi Salaam. They remind you of what you said. They remind you of what happened five years ago, 10 years ago, 15 years, they remind you to You know what you did. You know what you did. You know what you did over and over again. And why? Because once they say that to you, you will feel the shame come back. You will feel the guilt come back. You will feel the burden come back. And you will be suppressed. So the next time you're about to speak the truth, they'll say, Who are you to speak the truth? Remember what you did 10 years ago? Remember that? And you just back in home. Back in homes. If Yunus Adhi Salaam tries to give Dawa and somebody says, Oh, you're going to give Dawa? What are you going to do if I don't listen? Get angry and walk away again? But they can make those comments.

57:28They can say that. But he is not affected by those comments anymore because Allah has rescued him from what? From what? They're trying to put the Ramana. Is that working? It's not working. He's been he's been freed from it. He's been freed from it. Najja nahum al-Khan. Okay. Final one. By the way, there's one thing about Yunus Adhi Salaam. He's in the whale. He's disappointed, Allah. He's also sad about not just what happened in the past, but what's the future? He's thinking about the future. And speaking of the future, you get the final story. You get the story of Maliam. Okay, the story of Maliam Salamun Ali, especially when she was giving birth to his Adhi Salaam, as mentioned in some detail in the Quran, if you're in the place of Maliam, she's having the child. What is she experiencing? What kind of trauma is she experiencing? What do you think? Ladies, your turn.

58:30Come on, she's your rep. Shame. Pain. Pain. Loneliness. Exile. Terrified. Terrified. What does she want to do? If you were in a situation where you're about to be shamed by the world, you're in a situation where everybody's about to humiliate you. They're about to accuse you. They're about to say all kinds of comments to you. They're about to point the finger at you. And nobody will defend you. Everybody will look into it. Yaifina. Ya rabya rab. If that was the case, if that was the case, what would you feel? You'd want to be dead. Ya Leytanimit tukab lahada. She wished she could be dead.

59:31I'd rather run away. If I can't run away, I just want to run away from this life. The fear of humiliation is a huge fear. The fear, not just of death. She's not afraid of death. What is she afraid of? Humiliation. The fear that I will be attacked verbally, I will be looked at with no dignity. I will lose my respect as a human being. That's not a small fear. It's extremely traumatic, extremely. So extreme that that embarrassment can make someone want to kill themselves. In the Western world, are there people who get exposed in some kind of political scandal, media scandal, celebrities? And they come into a side. Does that happen? Ya. These are people that are supposed to have no shame. Right? So you do whatever they want. It's okay to scandal. What's the big deal? But even these people, when it comes to humiliation, they would prefer what over humiliation?

1:00:34Death. Death. That's how extreme it is. They got to the, and it's almost as if Allah mentioned all these traumas and the most extreme trauma is at the end. And the most extreme trauma is the trauma of humiliation. Of public humiliation. They put that at the end. And she says, Ya Leita, Nirmikdokam, Daha'a. Subhanallah. That's a lot of trauma. The Quran mentions quite a bit of heavy, heavy, heavy emotions that these prophets experience. So let's take some takeaways. What this lecture was all about. What's with all this? So we're going to be very good. Look at this words. I bet you never heard these words like this before. You've heard this ayah, but not like this. Listen to this ayah. Good on. This, all of this, is your umma. A single umma.

1:01:34And I am your rabso worship me. What is he referring to as this is your umma. Who is the this? All these prophets and everything they experienced is your umma. The word umma doesn't just mean nation. Umma ya ummu means direction. This is the same direction your life will go in also. A calm is a people united by ethnicity. And umma is a people united by direction. That's why Allah says, ayah ma muh from the same word umma. Ayah ma muh say ayidant ayyevan. Go in the direction of pure dirt when you do ayah muh. When you don't have water from the same word. The Imam is someone who dictates your direction. Imam in Arabic is something right in front of you that dictates your front direction. Umma is a people that are united by what? direction and the implication here is these people their life was headed in these directions. And you people because you're from the same nation your lives will also go in

1:02:37the same direction and all of them they all of you all together. I'm your rab worship me. I started with something about Freud. Do you remember? And Freudian psychology mentions that the world is inside you and then you have to experience your emotions. Do you remember that? Your your your traumatic experiences dictate your life. In Islam there's a relationship you have before the relationship you had with your body you already had a relationship that existed because really psychology is about relationships. The relationship with you have in Western psychology it's about the relationship you have with yourself. You're because the oldest relationship you have in Western psychology is who? Yourself. That's the oldest relationship you have. In Islam before we came to this earth we already had a relationship with who?

1:03:40With Allah. We already had a relationship before we even came to this earth with Allah. We've already had a conversation with Allah in Surat Al-Araf. Alastu bi Rabbekum Qalu Bala Shahidna. Our souls already existed. And the Quran is only reminding us of a relationship that has already existed. Now tell me about healthy relationships in Western psychology. A healthy relationship nurtures you. A healthy father gives you confidence. A healthy mother gives you security protection. You feel loved. You feel accepted. You feel safe. You feel secure. All of the positive attachments. Tell me a healthy relationship with Allah. What does it give you? Does it give you safety? Does it give you confidence? Does it let you feel alone? Does it build confidence in you? Does it build courage in you? Does it help you overcome fears? Does it make you feel loved? Does it make you feel protected? Does it give you everything you need to be a secure person? Yeah.

1:04:42Allah is relationships are unstable in the Quran. They can go in any direction. The only stable relationship in all of these stories is with who? Is Allah. And all of these stories are different kinds of trauma. And when you have trauma, you become unstable. When you have trauma, you become unstable. And yet all of these people are all remaining stable, even though they're all traumatized in all very, very different ways. And at the end of all of those traumas, Allah says in the Arabic, our relationship with Allah is actually something that protects us not just spiritually,

1:05:44but it protects us against anxiety, depression, fear, it protects us against nervousness, it protects us against jealousy, it protects us against rage. And we can have those emotions, but we can come back to normal. We can come back to normal. We can come back to why? Because we have Allah. Because we have Allah. Allah does not give up on us. A mother can give up on a child. A father can give up on a child. A husband can give up on a wife. A wife can give up on a husband. A best friend can give up on a best friend. Every other relationship can stop some. And even if they don't give up, death can happen. Separation can happen. But there's one relationship that Allah will never give up on you. Allah will never abandon you. Mawadda akarabukawamakala. Allah will never just leave you be. Allah will never just be angry with you and never be pleased with you again. And Allah is not, Allah is better than every other relationship. You know why? Because you don't have to do much to make Allah happy.

1:06:48You can make Allah very angry. You can do that. You can disobey Allah. You can commit crimes against Allah. You can do all kinds of terrible things. Then what do you have to do to fix it? I think you have to sacrifice a few children. And to get all the infinity stones, you have to kill your daughter. I don't know what you got to do. Toba. And how much money do you have to pay before you make Toba? What's the initial deposit before Toba? Because if the government is angry with you, you have to give some deposit before they say, OK, now you can have your driver license back. If the government, if you did sin against somebody, you have to do something. If your wife is angry with you, you can't just say, sorry. She says, that's it. But also the sorry, sorry, you're sorry. Huh, OK.

1:07:48You can say sorry for the rest of your life. It doesn't mean it. Keep your sorry to yourself. You got to do better than that. Everyone else who we disobey, we upset, we disappoint, we have to do something to make it up. We have to beg and give gifts and make a man's and cons. And even after all, even after this, OK, OK, I forgive you. Two months later, new fight. Remember what you did two months ago? I was like, hey, I already paid the fees for that one. We went on the trip. All you think I could just forget? I can't win. But when you make Toba with Allah, when you make Toba with Allah, does Allah bring up what you, it's gone? You kafir an'hum sayiyatim, let's say go. The difference between us and the Christian creed is

1:08:49you're broken and you will always be broken. With us, you can break and then you can fix again. And then you can break and you can what? Fix again. You keep fixing it. Can you get over your trauma? Yes, can Allah remove the burden? Can you remove the ram? Can you remove the karb? Yeah. Did He only do that for prophets? Or is He offering it to everybody? Everybody. It's a very powerful message. It's a very powerful message. People don't forgive. Allah forgives. People don't forgive. And I say it a lot, but I'll say it again. People use Islam in very un-Islamic ways. A mother says, I will never forgive you. And if I don't forgive you, Allah won't forgive you. There are some super moms like that. Father will say, you don't deserve my du'az. And if I don't bless you, then how will Allah ever accept you?

1:09:54You know what that sounds like? Azer. Abraham's father. What's that sound like? You're using your religion as a weapon. You think on Judgement Day when I'm a father. I'm a father on Judgement Day. While I am answering Allah for my deeds, my son is over there answering for his deeds. And he's about to go to paradise. And they hold on ya Allah, before you continue. I didn't forgive him for that one time. So that way you go. Come on. Does it work like that? We have created a strange idea that some relationships have the power to decide what Allah will do. No one has power over Allah. Even the Prophet, so I said, I was told, you cannot guide whoever you love. If the Prophet is told this, who are you? Who am I? Why do we have these weird ideas?

1:10:57Look at what Allah says after opening this door of relief, and actually before that, even in this world, this is a message for all people that worship. And we have not sent you a socialism, except for a loving mercy for all nations. This is relief from so much karb and so much hum for all nations. This message is for every nation deserves this. And so at the end of all of this messaging, I'm going to bring you back to what I really wanted to say. In Western psychology, you are the center of the universe. You are the most important character. And the Quran, Allah is the most important entity. So your healing is not coming from inside. It's coming from outside. It's coming from Allah. It's coming from Allah. You're not seeking to find yourself at a Bali vacation.

1:12:02You're not going on a healing journey on a hike to undo your jealousy with your sister, or to get over a breakup. That's not where you're going to find it. Or you're not to plug in an ocean sounds app and go to sleep so you can get over your criminal conviction. That might help a little bit. It might take your mind off. It might give you some calm. That's cool. But if you really want to move on without guilt, without shame, without anger, without resentment, without revenge, you don't want to live under the burden of hatred. You don't want to live under the burden of disappointing someone else or being disappointed by somebody else. You don't want to live under the burden of depending on others emotionally, constantly. You don't want to live on, you want to lift all of this gum from your life. Then you've got to develop one relationship really, really well. When that one relationship becomes healthy,

1:13:03all the other relationships can go everywhere you will remain stable. That's coming from the outside in. Western psychology will not let you go outside in because there's nothing greater than yourself. And of Quranic psychology, you first go outside, meaning you turn to Allah and you let that illuminate you and then you go inside out. It's actually a two-way street, not a one-way street. There are many positive things in Western psychology, but it's not wrong. It's missing something. It's missing. And the piece that it's missing, believers have it. Believers have it. Quran has it. We need to come back to the Quran and develop this for ourselves because I need it. You need it. Our families need it. Our generations need it. And I'm telling you in the world of so many messages out there that are trying to tell people how they should feel, how they should live, how they should heal, how they should deal with trauma. The only guided answer that's really there that's not missing any piece

1:14:05is the word of Allah. And I pray that we as a nation are able to come back to that. I'll make do eye that this project that we're doing, we're basically doing something called Quranic psychology. And it's a massive, massive project. All the emotions in the Quran, all the ways that Allah is talking about them, and then comparing to the different Western psychological models and then putting them together in a way that even a teenager can read that and learn from it. Like I don't want to write something for PhDs. I want to write something for everybody's consumption so that practitioners, imams, you know, counselors, youth activists, and even just families can benefit from that. And so I'm going to wrap my lecture up, but I'll leave you with one last thing because I said it to a mother today and I said it to one sister today, but I think all of you need to hear it. Don't raise your hand. I know. There are people in your life that are you're stuck to them and they're very difficult. Maybe it's your mom, maybe it's your dad, maybe it's your brother,

1:15:06maybe it's your sister, maybe it's your ex-husband, maybe it's your ex-wife because you share a child together. I don't know who it is, but there's some people in your life, you're stuck with them and they're very, very, very, very difficult. And you cannot escape them. Allah designed your life with that shame, like Abraham, Ali, his father, or new hen's wife, right? Or Rasulullah, his father, Abu Dhabi. You're stuck with some people. You're stuck with them. I need you to understand that those relationships that are problematic in your life, they cannot control your emotions. You cannot allow those relationships to control your emotions. You have to create a level of toughness, a level of suburb that you don't just listen to what they say, you can block what they say and you don't change your behavior

1:16:07because you allow them to affect you emotionally. There's a mother and a father, they're divorced and they have a child. Yeah, they have a child. The mother hates the father, the father hates the mother. The child is in the middle. When the child spend time with the mother, the father gets angry. When the child gets spend time with the father, the mother gets angry. When the child is with the mother, she's saying bad things about who? The father. When the child is with the father, he's saying bad things about who? The mother. Who are you destroying? Now, I can't tell a child because the child is innocent and the child's not even an adult. But if that child is 27, 35, 40 in the middle, they're in the middle. They need to become tough. They need to understand this person is a patient and this person is a patient. My mom is a patient and my dad is a patient and I'm the doctor. Unfortunately, I'm the doctor and the doctor sets the operating table.

1:17:09The doctor cannot start crying in the middle of an operation. If the doctor is performing heart surgery and he starts, oh my God, I opened his chest. You need to kill the patient with your tears. You have to control your emotions when you're dealing with the patient. And you have to say, hey, mom, we can talk about anything. Anything. We're never going to talk about dad. I won't talk about him. You won't talk about him. Hey, dad, we can talk about anything you want. One thing we're never going to talk about is who? Mom, we can talk about anything else. No problem. Don't tell me how to control my relationship with my father or my mother? Because that's mine. That's not yours. That's mine. You have no right. Allah didn't give you that right. That kind of toughness has to be developed because Allah has given us principles that not just control our emotions, but they set the right kinds of boundaries in every relationship, the right kinds of borders, the right kinds of boundaries. We have to learn to live vital boundaries.

1:18:10And if we don't, then we will create oppression and injustice and cruelty inside the family. And if the Muslim family has cruelty, then the Muslim Ummah will have cruelty, and then the world will have cruelty because the smallest unit of humanity is the family. If you cannot remove cruelty from the family, then you will never remove cruelty from society. And therefore, you will never remove cruelty from the world. So it's easy to talk about what's happening politically here or there and there, and speak against the president, and speak against the military, and speak against the foreign policy, but very hard to talk about what's happening in your own home. Very hard to face the oppression in your own home. And you want to escape the fact that you're not facing that by yelling and screaming about something else and saying, I'm speaking to Huck. That's not Huck. That's escapism. That's escapism. Don't escape. I'm not saying you shouldn't speak about political injustice. But I'm saying if you're going to be so brave to speak the truth on the outside, you better become brave to stand by the truth inside.

1:19:12What is this hypocrisy? What is it? You're so ready to stand against fit on, but not your uncle? We have to set the right boundaries. We have to stand by them. And we have to face the consequences of them. It will take bravery, and the only people who will be able to do it are people who will say, no matter how much I get thrown in a fire, I know a law will make it cold. I know a law will make it cold. Even if I get kicked out of my house, a law will provide food. Even if I get sick, a law will make me healthy. If Rahim Alaysaam is going to be homeless, he's going to be sleeping under a tree in the freezing wind. He's going to be wet in the rain with nowhere to go, and he's going to say, when I get sick, he's going to heal me. It's okay. Allah got me. Allah got me. Which means he knows he's going to be homeless. He knows it. You know? And let me, what, you're telling me when you're away from the city? I don't know where I'm going to get my food. I don't know where I'm going to drink. Where am I going to drink from? Am I going to drink from this puddle of mud? I don't have a home. Where am I going to get food from?

1:20:13Allah will give, because I'm obeying him. That's a level of bravery that only comes when you know you're not alone. When you know you're not alone, and the only way you'll know you're not alone is when you have Iman in Allah. The biggest psychological crisis of our time is extreme loneliness. Extreme loneliness. Extreme loneliness. Teenagers are committing suicide because of extreme loneliness. People are spending million, thousands of hours on social media because they experience extreme loneliness. They're attaching themselves to predators because of extreme loneliness. And the crisis of loneliness, the real answer to the crisis of loneliness, number one, is the company of Allah. Number one. And when you have that, Allah then creates, you know, when the thing I'm in, when I'm in the salihad, when people believe and do good, Allah gives them good company. He will remove, not only will you get the company of Allah, Allah will create new environments for you with healthy relationships. Rasul Sahib said, did not have a good relationship with his uncles. Not all of them.

1:21:15But Allah gave him Abu Bakr, Allah gave him Umar, Allah gave him Rasman, Allah gave him Ali, Allah gave him Abu Duhab, Allah gave him the sahaba, Allah gave him that. So whenever something is taken away, Allah will give something better. Allah will provide something better. That's the message that I want to leave you with. I know this was heavily unprepared. This was a glimpse of a few reflections, but I've actually done quite a deep dive into all of these ayat. And I'd really encourage you to study the full blown study of these ayat along with me, which Alhamdulillah by Allah's grace is available on the revealed app now. You can just select whichever ayah and look at all of my notes and listen to the concise commentary also. So I'd really like to encourage you to become part of the revealed app family. It's a remarkable project of anyone who is engaged with the study of the Quran or is curious about the Quran reading any part of the Quran and just wants to know. I wonder what this ayah is talking about. I wonder if Nirmans done some work on this ayah or have some thoughts on it. You can just hold down the ayat and you'll get my notes and you might even get,

1:22:15or you also get my concise commentary on it. You can also post questions on there, which many of you are starting to post, Mashallah. So I'd really encourage you to become part of this revolutionary study and this revolutionary resource that can really help develop a very good bond between you and the Quran and also a really great way for me to gain insights on what kinds of things are on your mind as you post your questions. Thanks so much and I hope to see you at the revealed app.