The Perfectionism Trap

In this episode, we talk honestly about perfectionism—what it looks like when your identity is built on performance, and how exhausting that kind of striving can become. Lauren shares how, from childhood, she felt driven to succeed: getting the best grades, being first chair in band, doing everything “right,” and eventually trying to be the perfect Christian, worship leader, and mom.

But underneath all that achievement was a deeper desire for glory—her own glory. And that pursuit can quietly shape the way we see ourselves, our failures, and even the people around us.

We discuss how God began to expose that in Lauren’s life through music, ministry, and eventually Celebrate Recovery. What looked like success on the outside was actually fueled by fear, shame, and the pressure to prove she was enough. The turning point came through rediscovering the gospel—not just that Jesus died for our sins, but that He also lived the perfect life we couldn’t live and gives us His righteousness.

That realization changes everything. It frees us to admit weakness, ask forgiveness, and stop striving to prove ourselves. We talk about Martin Luther’s idea of the “theology of glory” versus the “theology of the cross,” and how learning to embrace weakness has actually opened the door to deeper joy, healthier relationships, and more freedom in parenting, ministry, and everyday life.

ORDER MY LATEST BOOK

Becoming Like Jesus is a book about “progressive sanctification” that takes it beyond church words into the honest conversation so many Christians have navigated. Rooted in the Beatitudes, this book unpacks the lifelong series of highs and lows that the Holy Spirit uses to shape us into a person who looks like Jesus.

If you Pre-Order the book now, you will get access to some bonus content, including access to a 2 hour long conversation we got to have with our friends, Ali Parsons, Philip Anthony Mitchell, Joel Muddamalle, and Jonathan Pokluda. You can Pre-Order here.

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