The Great Turning & My Graduation: Personal & Professional (big changes)

0:00Lear on the cusp of equinox. The cherry trees are blooming and there's a fine yellow dusting from the oak trees over everything including me if I sit here long enough. I've just gotten back from a swim and I'm sitting in the sun and as usual my thoughts go to you. You know I didn't get to have children. Many miscarriages later I had so much love to give and so much desire to nurture. I had been given so much love and I was so nurtured but somehow consciously or unconsciously I chose to channel that love into community but I didn't want just people who came and went I wanted people who would consider staying for a lifetime or maybe

1:02even more. Our elder Carmen Baraka used to say this only when it was a really good gathering she would say maybe we agreed to meet here. I love that idea and that feeling it ties so perfectly in with the legends of the red thread that were already connected that were called here that we each have in our own piece and that we witness each other's stories. Well today I'm inviting you to witness my story. I think the only people who will find this curious perhaps are community members or graduates of intentional creativity maybe some of you who linger around the edges whether you ever study with me or not but it's the evolution of a sacred feminine entrepreneur becoming a matriarch. I'm just a

2:04few months from being 56 and while I still don't have children of my own and while my relationship to the community is changing there's a wisdom that has settled into my star dust bones and this wisdom is what I think of as elemental wisdom so completely sacred and yet so completely essential to all of life. The teachings I'm living in right now feel so basic and yet also somehow elusive. I've just completed my body of work which started with color of woman which was a journal that I created in my early 20s with drawings of my breakthrough images like literally the images where I came on into myself where

3:06my eyes were opened into life and my identity and where I said yes to my sacred work in the world. That cycle is complete. What a joy, what a challenge, what a gift. I mean I'm an artist, a poet, a ritualist but I'm not really a COO or a president. I don't even love the word founder. I'm a lineage keeper. I have materials to pass on to people in this lifetime that are from this lifetime but also from the ancestors because what I teach I consider so completely basic. Make with you make with love put your intention into it when you bring your focus into what you're making what you're making changes and so

4:09to you especially if you pay attention. Everything is frequency. Attune your frequency to the most optimal coherence for any given situation and decision and watch how things move around you. The field the energy around us is governing the particles and the matter within us. Energy equals matter at the speed of light equals energy plus love. That all just seems like common language. It's my mother tongue but it's the mother tongue of most of the women who learn it. They're like oh yeah got that. I mean it's so easy to absorb. It takes some practice to live it but as soon as people hear it they're like oh yeah make what I make with love. Oh yeah energy my thoughts become matter in my artwork whatever I make like oh okay it's all so basic and the loss of it is such a tragedy. When colonization and conquest and the whole ridiculous kind of

5:11culture against women and children and earth that we have going on now the raging zeitgeist of the power over paradigm that's happening right now. When that started you know eight to ten thousand years ago the things that were removed from from women specifically as the mothers of the children were things like our own identity, our cultural agency, our voice, our ability to think our own thoughts. We were taught that we aren't even safe to think our own thoughts. We have to pass them out to God. The God that they just assigned to us. We weren't in charge of our body. They taught us there were five senses. The whole bottom half of the body is just completely removed. They taught us to live from the brain and totally denied the gut and the vulva and the womb. They told us that our soul is brokered and that it could be exchanged or sold to the devil.

6:11And this could not be farther from the truth. No one could broker your soul, your body, your voice, your identity. They extracted our resources. They took them by force based on the gender inequity from a finance and landholder and power position. Oh my gosh, those numbers are so startling for this century. The disparity is sickening and devastating and persistent and is being perpetuated right now as things like diversity, equity and inclusion are continually being erased from the files as if it never even happened. And if you can believe it, women are included in that need for equity as a value system for organizations. That's gone. This has been going on for so long. We didn't own things before back in

7:17the matriarchal days. We were stewards, although we likely didn't use that word. We were family with. We were companions with creation, really companions with creation and everything that was commonly shared became brokered and sold off, metered off and divided off and borders created and disputes began and the need for protection and nationhood. These ideas are foreign to women's bodies. Let me just tell you what you already know. The ideas of ownership and capitalism and conquest are foreign to women's bodies. These are not set up for us. Corporations and capitalism are not set up for women's bodies. Our bodies are not created to hold this kind of information. It is foreign to us this idea of ownership. And yet some of us choose to get into it so that we can become stewards and so that we don't continue to become those who do not have inheritance. Those who are

8:23not clear on our will and our estate. More women are going to inherit resources than ever before in the next 10 years. And it matters to me that we know how to work with what we have. But let me tell you what the past 10 years of learning to work in a capitalist world but not be extractive where I meet with my CFO and review numbers and spreadsheets and emails for hours and hours and hours exploring productivity and profitability exploring the increase of something called SaaS software as a service. Looking at how much of what I create from the goodness of my heart and my body is gone to taxes and to fees and to percentages and to interest. Like I just can't quite quote get ahead but what is it that I'm trying to get ahead of anyway? A system they created. And so I'm not having fun with it. I'm really not. I'm having a fucking blast teaching and

9:26calling circle and stomping my feet and howling at the moon and handing women a giant paintbrush and letting them know that it's magic wand. I am having the time of my life working in groups of people and educating healers guides leaders and shamans how to work with self-expression ways that they hadn't imagined were possible but then once they do they're like oh of course it's so basic right? We can move from beta stress fight flight into alpha into theta with spikes into gamma through self-expression. It isn't hard and doesn't cost a lot of money. It does take some focus and some practice. Like it's so essential the self-expression that we teach and intention creativity and the resulting identity shift that occurs it's legendary that's why we say you can transform your life into a legend but now I'm laying down the way that the company has been working. It's an untenable model. It was built with my

10:29former partner and business partner and life partner Jonathan McLeod and by the time I discovered how to manage the finances and the software as a service and everything we were in so deep into the structures and I've spent years three years trying to back down from where we were and just finding out today that the amount of money that I need to make in any given month in order to keep just the basic systems flowing even if I only had one staff member is an amount that is inconceivable to most people. It's software it's it's debt it's operating it's subscriptions that are required it's this thing which connects to this thing which connects to this thing and then the people who have to run it and then the people who manage it and then the people who report on it. It is wild and I don't like it but I do love to teach and I do love to be in circle and I

11:31am carrying a gift that gift at its essence is called Stardust Bones which is a book that I wrote on the consciousness teachings of intentional creativity. It is the summary of my life work to this moment. I didn't want to just unt because I'm just getting started I wanted to share what I've gathered in condense and I didn't want to step out I want to step in but not have to manage all these systems and structures. I still don't know what I'm going to do about all of that but I know I'm going to keep teaching and in a way there's a simplification. The simplification is called Stardust lineage it's the distilled essence of intentional creativity and everything I've learned so far the book is called Stardust Bones and everything I teach at least for this next cycle which appears to be three to five years is going to be within the framework of Stardust lineage. We're going to have complementary offerings so that it's

12:35accessible to all that is so important to me and continue with the Cura Council. We're going to have affordable sessions where people can taste to the work for Andra $100 because we want people to still be able to do it and not have to do the big things. We're going to have weekend experiences connected with the Stardust Bones material that can be in different places around the world and then I'm doing the Stardust initiation which is currently a nine month training that can be for personal or professional development. There is going to be a licensing and certification so people can do the work with their clients but it isn't going to be a traditional certification. I'm not going to be tracking and tending in that way it's not going to be up to me it's going to be a limited license that people can use the material and the way that works for them. The material is so basic and so beautiful. I believe every woman in the whole world would benefit from things like having access to identity, restoration

13:40of voice, healing with her physical, sensual body, reconnection with the soul, the powerful path of manifestation from a feminine perspective, access to her calling, liberated self-expression and ultimately culminating in a rights of passage level self-initiation that we provide instruction for but ultimately she does for herself. This is what I'm called to do at this time. This is what I am doing at this time. While I'll continue to do some other offerings as I feel called and inspired I have beautiful collaborations with Jennifer Bearson and Amy Aillers that are calling from my deepest heart. I'm moving into the Stardust lineage, the matriarchal mystery school. I know that some of you will come along with me and many of you will see this as your time to complete our time together and wow let me just thank you as I release any red threads

14:42that are ready to be released. I don't need or want anyone to come along and keep hanging out if it isn't exactly right for you. You'll feel the resonance if it is. Like Sue Hoyas-Cellars says we are all cooling socks of stars and my stars recognize the stars in you and like my mother Karen McLeod says and the point is you have to design a point for yourself and like our elder Carmen Baraka says everything isn't always fleeting not as if you see it as everything interdimensionally at play at once. She also said to my mother Karen McLeod you will be bathed in Stardust. So I invite you to just witness me the shapeshifting of a legendary matriarch into this exact moment of space time and place. Some things are gonna look similar and repackaged other things will

15:46feel entirely new but really it's just an evolution of what has been like a family growing older together the kids grow up the parents become elders they look the same but different the Stardust lineage work will look the same but different but I want as many people as possible to be able to teach it to lead their own circles with it to work with their clients with it I'm gonna design it in such a way that you could teach it in a day or an hour different parts there's nine promises that get made in the Stardust lineage work and those nine promises could happen literally through a day long experience touched lightly introduced or a nine month or a three-year I mean they could just expand out each one could be its own workshop like the titles are source presence access voice curate consciousness activate manifestation you know

16:50these are all about self-expression and when I first taught it in the first template of the course Stardust bones to get the curriculum outlined at the end of it I realized something super powerful that these exact promises that I was having women make were literally the exact ways that the patriarchy and power over structures has sought to keep us silent so in this exact moment I want to give thanks to an incredible Stardust sister Adrienne for her support in the curriculum and the creation of the book and I look forward to sharing it with all of you for years to come I hope I'll see you in the next circles I look forward to it much love curate shy loves of yeah and let me just say this this love is real this love flowing between us is the truest thing I've ever

17:51known really my love for you is so true it's hard to even put it into language this love I feel right now is my mother tongue and I hope you can feel the truth in the care in my words as I find my way forward a bit more sovereign teaching sovereignty yet always connected to the community that I love and the women that have stood behind side me and behind me and those also in front of me calling me forward I'll see you on the path remember I'm not stepping out I'm stepping in and some of you will step in with me