The customer you hate to see coming

0:00Who's the customer? You hated to see coming. 601, 995, 1017, if you were a server, maybe it was the customer that you knew was gonna leave a crappy tip. Like how could you tell? 601, 995, 1017, I got a server and he's the one who reminds me of Billy Eichner. We play his audio from time to time and he completely had a meltdown over some vegans at his table. I just had to serve a table of all vegans. So I go to them for a drink order and this woman is like, wait, you guys can do a bacon, egg, and cheese vegan, right? And she's smiling so big. So by obviously thinks she's joking and I'm like, no, man, we can't do a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich, vegan for you. Her smile drops. So I'm processing that she's not joking. Like, did you become a vegan 10 seconds ago? Until one of her friends is like, yeah, you guys have a separate kitchen to cook the vegan stuff, right? So that there's no cross contamination. What do you mean? So that there's no cross contamination. I'm like, do you have an allergy, me? She's like, no, we're vegans. I'm like, yeah, man, that's the point. I don't understand how there's cross contamination.

1:00We just won't put any meat or cheese on your food. This woman literally stands up. She's like, you're being so condescending to me and my friends. We're going to take our business somewhere where our concerns are met and we're going to have to let all of our friends know that this place does not care about vegan concerns. I don't think anybody really should care about vegan concerns. I don't think that that's an important concern. There are other things on this earth that we can concern ourselves with than quote, vegan concerns. It's kind of crazy to me. I just like, as somebody with food allergies who has been vegetarian, dabbled in veganism, like I never had expectations that there was going to be much for me to eat at a place that served a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich. And how would one expect that to be vegan? You're exactly. Literally, there's nothing on there that's even vegan close. Like there are vegan restaurants go there. So who's the customer you hate to see coming? 601-995-1017. Call her text the show. For me, it was, oh man, so many customers.

2:03I can think of back in my day. There was a woman at my last retail job that I had about three, four years ago. And she had a specific kind of water she had to drink. She had some kind of medical issue. It had to be specially pH formulated water. But you couldn't just give her the water. You had to hear the whole story about how I'm on Dr. Zorders to have this water. Oh, I don't know how I'm going to get it out to my car. And could you take it to my car for, it was just a pain in the butt. Yeah, you were like a therapist and also a grocery store employee for this woman. I don't get paid enough for this, Mary. How about you, the customer? You hated the seat coming, Alison. Two words, eyebrow lady. I hang on, let's pause on eyebrow lady. And here's first time texture. And they say whenever I was a server, two grown women would come in and order a kids meal to split with a water and they tipped with quarters. This was a high end state place.

3:05So dang, that's crazy. Tipping in quarters and splitting a kids meal is nuts. That is, that is rude behavior. So you were saying eyebrow lady was the lady that you hated to see come in. What happened with eyebrow lady? So like high school college, I worked at this print shop and I don't even remember eyebrow ladies, real name. But whenever we would see her, we would all be like, hey, it had to eyebrow lady is coming because we knew so she was a realtor and she would come in and she would need some of her brochures for her open houses and things like that printed. But she was notorious for having mistakes in the fires and then seeing them after they'd been printed and then she wouldn't want to pay for it because it's like, but you are the one who put the typo in there. I'm just printing what you already had. It was your job to proofread it before you came in and she would just argue with you and just like, I'll be such a bee. Brother Jerry's here, is this a customer you clean their pool for

4:08that you hate to see coming? Yes, sir, this customer's pretty, she's pretty handsy feeling. Oh, yikes. I had to have my boss reach out to her and let her know that she's not allowed to text me. If I'm not, if it's not about the pool, she can't text me. She's texting me when I'm sitting next to my wife sending me like heart, smiley faces, eyeballs and stuff, that ain't gonna work. No, what's his lady look like, Jerry? Oh my goodness, brother. She's a flight attendant though. I don't know if that makes her better looking or worse looking for you because you fly, but I don't. So that's better, right? Have you ever gone to her house to clean her pool and she is maybe a little less dressed than you would have expected? Uh, yes, brother. She called me on a Saturday was, she pretended to be very concerned, so me and my wife went out. Yeah, she wasn't wearing much and she smelled like gin. Nice. She sounds like a smoke show. No. Thank you, Jerry, appreciate the phone call.

5:09Oh my gosh, I would not want to have to deal with a customer like that. I wonder how often Jerry deals with that because I'm sure it's not every woman, but I'm sure there are women who have like fantasies about the pool boy, you know? Oh boy. I would have Jerry deals with that on a daily basis. Could be.