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About this Episode
You can be in a room full of people… and still feel completely alone.
You can keep it together all day… until one small thing sets you off.
And you can have endless ways to feel good… but somehow feel worse.
What the hell is going on?
In this episode, Bill and Dan rip into three things nobody wants to admit—but everyone feels:
👉 Why we’re more connected than ever… and less known than ever
👉 Why anger isn’t the problem… but what’s underneath it is
👉 And why we’re not actually relaxing… we’re just distracting ourselves to death
From Sergio Garcia snapping at The Masters to everyday meltdowns over nothing… to the quiet loneliness of living life on “airplane mode”… this one hits.
It’s funny. It’s uncomfortable. It’s real. Because maybe the issue isn’t that something’s wrong with you…
Maybe you’re just surrounded… triggered… and never still long enough to figure it out.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/billified-the-bill-moran-podcast--5738193/support.
You can keep it together all day… until one small thing sets you off.
And you can have endless ways to feel good… but somehow feel worse.
What the hell is going on?
In this episode, Bill and Dan rip into three things nobody wants to admit—but everyone feels:
👉 Why we’re more connected than ever… and less known than ever
👉 Why anger isn’t the problem… but what’s underneath it is
👉 And why we’re not actually relaxing… we’re just distracting ourselves to death
From Sergio Garcia snapping at The Masters to everyday meltdowns over nothing… to the quiet loneliness of living life on “airplane mode”… this one hits.
It’s funny. It’s uncomfortable. It’s real. Because maybe the issue isn’t that something’s wrong with you…
Maybe you’re just surrounded… triggered… and never still long enough to figure it out.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/billified-the-bill-moran-podcast--5738193/support.
Hosts & Guests
Transcript
President Barack Obama. Virginia, we are counting on you. Republicans want to steal enough seats in
Congress to raid the next election and wield unchecked power for two more years. But you can stop
them by voting yes by April 21st. Help put our elections back on a level playing field and let
voters decide not politicians. Vote yes by April 21st. Paid for by Virginians for fair elections.
And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on
car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.
Hey everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this your first date?
Oh no, we help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're
married. Ah! Need a human, him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league anyways.
Only pay for what you need at Liberty Mutual.com.
When your old career gives you lemons throwing some ice mix in some vodka.
Call it a podcast. From the Mac of all trades studio in Fairport and driven by Victor Chrysler
Dodge cheap ram. It's billified. The Bill Moran podcast.
Well, hello and welcome. Thanks for getting your pot on. Tell a friend, subscribe.
You can find us by searching YouTube, billifying anywhere you get your pot on. You can find us.
I like to listen. Places like spreeker.com.
Where else do people get podcasted? Everywhere.
They do now, right? Yeah, pretty much. YouTube. Yeah, YouTube's a big one. We
just search billified. All our episodes are up there and you can see Danny and all his glory.
What hat is that, Dan? Oh, it's just a white golf hat. Oh, I guess. I don't know one of those
picky blinders. Yeah. I don't know what they call them. Well, I like it.
You look good. Thank you. You look good. I've been looking up things that people look up on the internet.
Like what people are searching just in terms of.
It's going to say, usually that's how it works. No, but what are the most popular searches?
What are the searches that that people are doing? I'll ask you, have you ever been in a room full of
people laughing, talking, phones are buzzing? And you still feel like you're the only one
not actually there. In some way, you're on airplane mode. Never felt that way?
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what you mean by that kind of like you're just you're
disconnected because one of the most searched emotional questions on the internet consistently is
why do I feel lonely when the crowd of so many people, even when I'm surrounded by people.
Why do I feel lonely when I'm surrounded by people? And it's not about being alone.
That's not what they're saying. It's about being around everyone and still feeling like
something's missing. Oh, yeah. I've been there. I think everybody has at some point. It's
you don't want to remain there. You don't want that to be your life. Right. I think everybody's
been there at some point. Like I've had that feeling or I don't belong here. This is not my crowd.
This is not my scene. Yeah, but then I remove myself. But what people are saying,
isn't even that like not my crowd on my scene as much as it is. I'm around all these people
and yet I feel very alone. Why is not one of them? I don't even know whatever that is. Yeah,
that could be. I mean, that really could be. I don't know. Are you so trapped in your own little
world isolated, comforting, comforting, comfortable in your own isolation that you get lost in your
own thoughts and your own feelings that that's how you feel it. You've done it for yourself.
I could see it many ways. When I saw this, I thought I think it's loneliness from a lack of
depth. I don't think people really deeply connect anymore. I think that everything is a performance
more or less. I could see that in a way like on social media. Or I don't want to say anything
or something that's really real reveal myself, maybe my political values, my religious,
my cult, whatever, because I don't know how people are going to handle it. Because we act like
the social media is really. Yes, yes, yes. Instead it's really just the fun house there. Because
right, because back in the day, I feel like it was risky to kind of get some depth with somebody.
It took time. You know what I mean? And you got to know people. You invest your time in someone,
the more and more you got to know them. Right. And the more and more common ground that you
had. So then you would feel more comfortable sharing certain things. And now it's just right,
come walk into a party and go, I'm a Republican. I mean, that's what people do on social media.
Yes. And I think that, but I have things to say. I think now these relationships are more curated
than they are risky. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? And I don't want to be canceled.
And I think, yes, yes. And I think that that that fear is what is leading people to like loneliness.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm lonely. I remember making a statement once on social media on Twitter
and getting annihilated by people like nationally, like badly canceled. And then
few years later, I was indicated. And now this past week, I've been vindicated yet again.
Really? And it's it's a start. But then we found out this is before Elon took over X.
What they were doing was they were weighing social justice posts in every form. You couldn't
make fun of certain groups of people. Uh-huh. The only group of people you could make fun of
were white dudes. Everybody else, you can't touch. And I wasn't making fun of anybody. I'll just
make it a point about certain people who have a narcissistic behavior and how it doesn't fit in the
in the work that they do. If you want to do that, go ahead and put it on Instagram. If you want to do
that, go ahead and put on your Facebook page. But when you put it on X, now you are trying to show the
world your boobs or your butt or whatever. And you're a reporter. To me, that that was my point.
Yeah, I don't even remember. I made a point about a certain there was a certain reporter in sports media
that did they took a picture of herself. Well, somebody else took the picture of her getting out of
the pool in a bikini boobs hanging out and basically setting what the what a kid's call a thirst
trap. In other words, I want guys to just drool over this and like it. But you're a reporter.
And if you want to put that on your Instagram, where you have your own people, you could just
curate to figure out who could follow you. That's fine. You want to put a vacation photo up. That's
fine. You want to put it on your Facebook, but we put it on X or Twitter. Now you're trying to show
the world something else about yourself. That's not necessary. And I just pointed that out.
And I got annihilated for it. Like what in what way?
You're a bigot. You're your misogynist. You don't understand. You're trying to tell women how they
could glorify their bodies. You know, you're the reason why the, you know, women can't get a head
in the world. I was getting killed by ESPN people all over the place. Yeah. Okay. I see what you're
saying. I don't. And all I was saying was like, if you're that good at your job, why do you need
to put up a picture of you and your boobs? Yeah. For what? Well, what purpose did that?
Well, it's their own personal. Yeah, it was on Twitter, but it's like people use Twitter for
reporting and news. If you're in media, you use it to report things. Yeah. You're not using it
as your own personal. I mean, I guess you could. Yeah. A lot of, I think that videos don't usually do
as well on Eric's. And it's just a statement does. Yes. And I think like videos are better for other
platforms. I think people are figuring that out. I don't know. I don't get that invested in it.
I know what you mean. And it had to have an opinion about it. This is a half a decade ago. Yeah.
I don't think that that that's not what I'm talking about. I'm, I'm talking about like real
connection with real people. Why did people sit in the room? Why you go to dinner with five people
and people are passing around videos that they saw that were funny, but no one's really connecting.
And I think that that's more when I'm talking about where people aren't that loneliness is
it's there. It's real. And I think that it's more because people go, well, it's it's social media.
Everybody's on social media. Yeah, it may be. I think it's that we've we don't I think that
the climate of the world people get nervous about having to connect. I think that or afraid to
connect afraid to have an opinion like, look, you just hear the story where he got he's shared
an opinion on social media and came back on you're pretty heavy. I think people don't want to deal
with that. And I think the other thing is that it's just easier to surface than to go to go deep.
Right. And depth is where you get the gold. Yes. The limb is where you get the fruit. Right.
That's where you know you could connect to trust and engage with somebody. Right. Instead of this
surface level, you know, stuff that you see on social media all the time, you know, like 400
people like this. And it's a picture of you and your dog. Yes. Great. It's nice. Nice. You know
about people, but do you know the people? Right. And I think that that human connection, that
real thing. That's what people are talking about the loneliness. I think what you talked about was
a fantastic example as to why people aren't connecting. Right. I think it's a fantastic reason.
I saw another picture on social media yesterday. And so it was it was the masters. I mean, sorry,
I'm on Saturday. It was the master's golf tournament. And everybody was celebrating a hole in one.
Everybody had their hands up and there were no phones in sight. Well, they can't have them.
Right. Right. You can't do that. I think one of the guys has got a ton of rules that you have to
follow or they'll kick you out. Somebody did get kicked out. I'm sure they did know that a
maybe a former champion on the first day. Oh, really? Had a phone. Okay. He didn't and when asked
about it, he goes, I broke the rule. But that's but that's golf. But the point is though is that like
nobody had a phone. Everyone celebrating the moment. Right. Very different. Not like when they're
phones out, I'm going to take this and see what happens. They're very different. They were actually
in the moment. Well, the problem is yes. And I think that like the example of five people sitting at
dinner, that's not connection. That's everybody watching a group watching a movie is what it is. When
you're passing your phone around, hey, you see this. Hey, you see this. And it's funny because I
felt like I sort of connected with my old college roommate. I went to see him. He was in town.
And we talked about our lives and our kids and our stuff. And you felt like you got a picture of
where he was at now. And he got a picture of where I was at. And I thought that was kind of
cool because we have optimized efficiency. We text instead of call. We did that's the thing.
And I remember making a phone call, my kid, why are you calling them? Text. And I'm like,
yeah, but I like talking. That's all I've ever done. I like to hear people's voices. I like to hear
their reaction. I like to say something and hear them laugh or some kind of a reflection back
to what I'm saying. I don't get that on a text. And you lose, you lose like 89% of communication
via text. Yeah. Yeah. And I will tell you, I think that also people are trusting artificial
intelligence for a connection and advice than they are other people in their lives. I really do.
I don't, I don't know if there's any way to justify that. That's just a gut feeling I have.
No, it's true. But I think that because you don't risk being judged.
Right. There's nothing there. And I think that a lot of times too, especially like even in
male, female relationships, I think there's times where you know, somebody could get more in
than the other person and it's trying to read it. But when majority of the communication
takes through text, how do you do it and stay in your lane? And you got to be a pretty grounded
person to be able to react and take something that isn't very verbose and realize this is a warm
reflective kind text that you don't need to read anything into. And I, I'm telling you, I think that
I just when I read that that was one of the most search things like I'm surrounded by people,
well, I had a feel so lonely. I go, yeah, because nobody, and it's not this so much the bullshit of,
well, everybody's, you know, laying at home, streaming. Maybe I just think that people aren't
even when they're together are not connecting on a deeper level. I think there's a tremendous amount
of fear. Yeah, because I think we, yeah, that and we train ourselves with such, we're in a micro,
we used to call it a microwave culture now. It's a text culture. But I mean, like microwave,
instead of like slow cooking, now they got this microwave. So nothing can heat the food up and
cook it faster, right? Yeah. And at the same time, like, we are heating up and cooking our food with
a microwave. We're one of microwaves costs like a thousand dollars, right? You know, they're super
expensive. Like it was a luxury item to have in the 80s. I think my parents got what my grandparents
had one, right? That you push the buttons and I mean, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. My parents got
wanted to have a fucking dial on it. I'm like, you cheap fucks. So that was one of the early ones.
Yeah, right, right, right. But like, and then we started moving, we started sitting on our front
porches and then people started building decks. And what's in the backyard? Well, you got fences and
shrubs and trees. So now your family isn't talking with your neighbor on the front porch anymore,
now they're going to the back and they're talking among themselves. Yeah. And it's just another,
it's just a natural progression of how you've lost, you know, touch. And it's just easier to text.
All right. On demand. It's quicker. And then all of a sudden, we talk in text.
I will tell you that I think that what you're saying is something I have noticed and talked
about for years in a different way that central heating and air conditioning separated us. Oh,
yeah. And I guarantee you that there's somebody listening to this podcast right now who has
texted somebody from another room to come join dinner or something texted them or call them
guarantee it. In the same square footage, however big the square footage is, that's it. And I
think that maybe that may be part of the problem because think about it, Danny, track your sleep,
track your calories, track your steps. How old do you know somebody?
They're like, all we have all that technology to do those things. What's your beneficial? They're
good numbers to know, right? And even there, even if you're like, get my steps today and someone
joins you on steps, but what are you connecting? And I don't know. I would love to know the gender.
Yeah. It's like a glorified spin class. And you're done. Yeah. You go on to the next thing. Yeah.
The gender of the people that are searching this because I feel like women are just more emotionally
intelligent than men. And yeah, I don't know. I mean, is it what made, but I don't think guys
search these things. I would think the guys don't. I think some do, but I think it's mostly women.
I mean, there's a trend of guys like the term in cell. When you and I last work together,
the term in cell, it's not a thing. Exactly. It's celibate or involuntary cell,
involuntarily celibate. In other words, I want to have relations, but I don't because I can't,
one, I can't find anybody. Yeah. But at the same time, I don't want to find anybody. I'm going to
just go play video games and watch adult films and just be by myself and stream videos. And
that's okay because I could just do that. Yes. You know, and there's a, there's a subculture of
a column boys that have been doing that since they were eight years old. And now they've grown into
supposedly men, but they're still boys. Yeah. You know, I saw, I would bet that it's mostly women
asking this question because women have to feel they have to connect. And I think men want to,
real men want to boys don't necessarily. I think that you touched on something too when you
said the person who puts a picture up above their dog and they get 400 likes. Yeah. You know,
how connected you look to how connected you feel are very different things. 10,000 followers does
not mean 10,000 friends. No. You know, 3000 likes does not mean 3000 loves. I mean, you, you, you,
yeah. That was a Facebook. I had like 4000 people. I know it was because I was in radio. I knew
maybe 80 of them. Right. But here's the, here's the question I'll ask. 10,000 followers.
Shico sideways at 2 a.m. Can you call any of them? Right. Maybe one. Maybe a lot. President
Barack Obama. Virginia, we are counting on you. Republicans want to steal enough seats in
Congress to raid the next election and wield unchecked power for two more years. But you can stop them
by voting yes by April 21st. Help put our elections back on a level playing field and let voters
decide not politicians vote yes by April 21st. Paid for by Virginians for fair elections.
And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance
with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show. Hey, everyone,
check out this guy and his bird. What is this your first date? Oh, no. We help people customize
and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Ah,
meet a human him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league anyways. Only pay for what
you need at Liberty Mutual.com. Liberty Liberty Liberty Liberty Liberty Liberty.
And hopefully you got somebody. Yeah, hopefully you have somebody that I'm just asking because like,
all right, in your marriage now versus your first marriage, which we've talked about.
What do you not hold back anymore to make that connection deeper? You said you
last time we talked you said you guys talk about everything and I believe it. I believe you do.
What do we not hold back? Yeah, I mean, what do you not hold back? That maybe you would have
before in your in your marriage. Oh, my previous marriage, I would try to have to talk about work
because my ex wife like hated it. I could see hated your she hated everything. She did a 180.
As soon as the engagement ring went on her finger, she did a complete 180. That's why she's on
her third marriage right now. Okay. And in 10 years, three marriages. Yeah, that's a lot.
That's a lot for a lifetime. But I mean, I couldn't talk sports. I couldn't talk about my job. I
didn't talk about my job. I didn't necessarily talk about certain aspects of my family. I didn't
talk about church after a while. Yeah. I could talk with my wife now about everything and she was not
into sports when we met all of a sudden. I come home from doing the podcast on a Thursday night.
The Thursday football game is already on the TV. I don't even have to ask.
Do you want to watch the sea hawks and the ramps tonight?
Like, yeah, I get that that's that's that's very nice and that's cool. I think most guys are not
like that. And I think you learn that and you get older and you get more comfortable and maybe
you chose a better partner, whatever that is. But I think most guys are trying to be peaceful.
And they're not there's a line. There's a line in a tragically hips on. He goes, do you think I
bowed out? They're talking about a fight. You think I bowed out or do you think because I think
you're right or because I don't want to fight. Yeah, right. It's such a great line. Yeah. It's like,
oh gosh, okay, you win. Yeah. All right. Fine. Right. But I mean, even there like, but you're losing.
I think there's a way like if it gets to that point, that usually means somebody's been
holding back for a while. And I do wonder as if this is a question that's being researched by
people or searched by people on Google looking for an answer, right? What does that mean for future
relationships? Do people know how to get actually deeper and understand their feelings and stuff?
Actually, this could dovetail into something I want to bring up later on. But I just think that
vulnerability and discomfort is something most people don't like because they don't trust that
that it's going to be. It's uncertainty. It's uncertainty. That's the biggest thing that I come
back to with everything of human beings from death to just, I don't know how people
react. So therefore, I won't. The unknown. Yes. And we say we want connection, but we avoid it
because we're not we're not there. Think about the girl you liked in high school. Yes,
that you never tried. Yes, yes, or that the practice. I was afraid of her check. You got it.
And I thought I was going to throw up when I asked her to the prom. Like I literally,
because she knew, because I told everybody I wanted to ask her to the prom. And we're all hanging
out outside the locker rooms, outside, outside because there was a door into the guy's door into
the women's room. West Beverly High School. And I'm standing there. And I remember her name was
Tara Sullivan. And I had the biggest crush on her. She was a year ahead of me. I was a junior.
So she was a senior. And people were talking about the prom and this and that. And she goes,
I don't know if anybody's going to ask me and she kind of looks right at me because everybody told
her I was going to. And I remember in that moment, no bullshit. I go, my stomach's really killing
me right now. I froze. I froze. And the thing for me, and I think I'm a, I don't know.
I'm finding out maybe as I get older that I'm a little bit different than a lot of people,
I guess. And I don't mean that in like some kind of neurodivergent way. I just mean like I just say
shit. I always said shit, but that would have been more performance because I was trying to hide
what I was afraid of, which was talking about being molested, right? And how much that really
did fuck up my whole life and or impacted my life, right? So, but and that was the thing. Like I
couldn't ask a girl because I couldn't even, I don't think I ever even made out with her or
kissed her because I was afraid that she would think I was gay because I didn't know how to do it.
Because I hadn't kissed a girl because I was afraid to kiss a girl because I thought she's
going to know I did something gay in my life. And that fucked up. Yeah. It's the most fucked up
thing. But now I can talk about all that stuff. And I just remember that and you're you're absolutely
right. It's like you're afraid to ask that girl and you don't and you miss out on an opportunity.
Yeah, you're going to miss out a lot of stuff if you don't like open your mouth once in a while.
Well, the other thing is even if she said no, you didn't learn how to sit with the rejection.
Yeah. You learn how to handle the failure. That's part of growing up. It's a part of life.
Yeah. I'll show you guys in their 50s who can't handle that seriously. And so it's a real part.
So when or lose, take that chance, take that thing, try to make that connection. Don't go too fast.
Yeah. You know what I'm saying? But ride that connection. When was the last time you said anything
that made the room uncomfortable? Can you think of a time you made the room uncomfortable?
Yeah. My classroom union in 20 years. I just made a comment about the situation and people get
got a sideways. Well, okay, we won't talk politics. And that was it. I mean, but like there are
three or four people in my vicinity and they're like, look, I'm like, okay, all right. This is a touchy
subject. Yeah. Let's not go there. Yeah. I immediately like scooped it up and saved it. But
yeah, there are times when I've done that. I just think that you don't get real connection from
a what's up text. You get a real connection. But hey, man, here's like, I'll be honest,
there are some friends of mine that I will absolutely just say this shit to like whatever's going on.
You know, if it's heavy stuff, I've had a lot of heavy, heavy things outside of the podcast and
outside of school that has impacted my time with my son and stuff that I that there are certain
people that I have just I think for me, I'm not looking for somebody's empathy or whatever.
I'm just going, here's what's going on. And when you're honest, I think people go, oh, okay,
they're not you're not judged. It's fucking life. And if you are going to judge me,
okay, have fun. But I'm old. I'm not. You have a life experience to realize the
son will come up tomorrow. I got it. And I'm not my 24 year old kid who's going to be, you know,
like, and then this is ruined. And this could be ruined. And then I just got it. And I don't
know what to do. And oh, my gosh, I invested all this time, right? Right. I've been there. Of
course, wow, I'm 46 years old. I've learned. But why? What did you learn? Experience is the best
teacher. I've learned that like, hey, look, first of all, you're a person of faith. And you might
want to act like it. Okay. Secondly, you know, guess what? No one cares. No, my cares. Well,
are the people who do care? Are the other ones that the people who are in your life? Yeah.
The ones that matter are the other ones that you need to care if they care. And, you know,
you'll figure if they, if they, if they're angry by, you'll figure it out. I do care. I'm
we're not celebrating your birthday yet. You have to celebrate. We have to celebrate your birthday.
That's what we do here. That's what we do. Okay. I don't know how I got caught up in the
mess of that one. But anyway, my point. You were pretty busy. You had to, you went on vacation.
You had skin, dude. I mean, that's, you're a fish out of water. Who is you? You know, you have
a big skier. Yeah. Are you? Ah, ski. Yeah, you lived in Park City. I can ski. I can ski. You're
right. I haven't done it a lot over the years. That's true. But when you like switch environments,
you root teams thrown off all of a sudden, you forget it's what day it is of the week. So that,
that, that happened. You know, that's called fucking Tuesday from my friends who's birthdays. I
don't remember. Yeah. And I love these people. I'm like, I know it's like around this time. So I
said, Hey, happy birthday this month. Yeah. Let's celebrate the whole month. That's my thing
now. That's a good one. Happy October. Yeah. Oh, like a Lou Graham was on Facebook. Happy birthday
to everybody celebrating birthday. Everyday. Lou had posted it. He did. That's awesome.
That's very funny. I keep hearing and I wonder if sometimes if it's bullshit or not. And I'm
starting to, because we hear things and I, and the numbers match it, but I'm not seeing it
necessarily. Here's what I'm talking about. Young people don't go out anymore. Young people
aren't connecting. I said, too. Yeah. Okay. But when I go out, if I'm at what I can hear the song
in my head, do you remember the 21st day of September? Like, like, like, when you get, it's like,
it's like, good time, Billy. Let it. Pull me another kid. It is what I go out. No,
what I was going to say is when I go out, like lately, it's been for an hour. And one of the things
I'll notice is that if I stay overstay my, my time, the crowd changes. And it is younger people.
I don't know anybody. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I'd be in a bar full of people in my bar.
Yeah. It feels so alone. But like, I mean, and I look, Damien opened another place on the
West side. It's crushing. So I don't, I don't. So people are going out. Is it young people?
I don't know. What's young? What's young? Yeah. I don't know. 30s to me is young. But if we're
talking about college age people, I don't know them. They're not in those environments. I'm a bad one
to ask. But I do know that the crowd changes in Malkonries and it looks much younger. They look
younger. Yeah. You know, it's not like, oh, I don't recognize you without the filter on
Instagram that you put on everything. Yeah. You don't have dog ears. I mean, so many of the other
days and something to me. And they go, you know, leather face from place play. And I went, oh my
God, because I've never said that. I knew exactly who I knew exactly who they were talking about,
like instantly. That's all they needed to say. I went to the place, the face. I got it.
And so, and that to me feels like connection and busting balls to me feels like connection.
Yes. Because you got to know shit about me to bust my balls. And I got to know shit about you
to bust your balls. And I got to know what's a vulnerable moment for you to bust your balls.
You know what I mean? Like, and even that with technology, a friend of mine was showing me,
he made fun of, he told everybody how one of the guys was dancing with his daughter on TikTok doing
these things. She made a TikTok. He happened to see it. So he tells everybody. So the next time he
used into place, everybody starts dancing like that. So he gets pissed off. Well, the other guy
has bigger lobes. So he took like, he made pictures to send it out to everybody of the earlobes.
And I go, okay, that is a connection in a way. Because, you know, that somebody is a family guy
when we don't see him. And he is a, you know, he has children and he spends time. And even if he
is a guy, he's going to do things with his daughter. What do they call that? I guess girl dad now,
whatever that is. But I'm just saying like, it's a father being with their kid, meeting their
kid where their kid is. I think that's a wonderful thing. But, you know, there's, I think on a
regular level, people are not connecting the same way we used to. No, we're not. And I think it's
a lot of it, as you're saying, is fear because I think we coexist, not exactly hang out, you know.
I think everyone's available. But I would say, not reachable. You know what I mean by that,
I mean, I can get you, but am I reaching you? Yeah, are we connecting on a personal level?
Over exposed, under known would be one. I think it, I was right. You know, I just think that we
live these parallel lives. And it's funny because there's this fear of missing out or FOMO. But
at the same times, this is fear of being real or being yourself, you know. So people want to go
out because they don't want to miss something like, okay, here's a great example. When our friend,
our friend's friend Jimmy Fallon comes to town, half a Rochester wants to show up wherever he is.
Yes. Okay. They don't want to miss it. They want to be there. Yes. But all these people pals,
even their own little groups, but are they connecting, you know, like in a personal level,
like after Jimmy goes, are they all going to stick around? And so how's the kids? How's the family?
You know, want to do another round? So what's going on in your world? What are you doing now? No,
it's like, all right, we got to follow this dude to the next thing. That is what, but take him
out of the equation. That's still the case wherever it is. Yes. And I think to the people that we
have a trust issue, that's why people will turn to tech before they would turn to a human being.
President Barack Obama. Virginia, we are counting on you. Republicans want to steal enough seats in
Congress to raid the next election and wield unchecked power for two more years. But you can stop them.
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voters decide not politicians. Vote yes, by April 21st. Paid for by Virginians for fair elections.
And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on current
churns with Liberty Mutual even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show. Hey everyone,
check out this guy and his bird. What is this your first date? Oh, no, we help people customize
and save on current churns with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Need a human, him to a bird.
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league anyways. Only pay for what you need at Liberty Mutual.com.
Liberty Liberty Liberty Liberty Liberty. I think that you are seeing people
that they can't feel connected because exactly what you said. And I'll change the word.
You said real. And I'll say authentic. You got it authenticity. And I have said I'm not sure what
authentic authenticity means other than being yourself. But the problem is the self I bring to
one place may not be the self I present to another place, right? It could be similar, but it's
not the same. But like I don't talk the same at work than I do here in the podcast as I do in
church as I do with my wife. Right. As I do with my fans. Does that mean you're less authentic
somewhere else? No, I would say no. I would know the rooms. I would agree. So then is that
I know the audience. But is that so then are we saying is that performative? Because I'm the same
way. But here's the thing like there are certain people that I just very close to or connected to
almost instantly. Some people I like real quick. There are some people that and there are people
that I have known who have said to me. I've been trying to connect with you, right? Let's use
that word. But I mean, I've been, you know, touching a little bit on social media. You never
react. Never do anything. And the thing I said is I know because I have a feeling that with you,
I would connect. And the timing's not right right now. It was a moment. And in
sense, I sense have connected. But prior to that, one of the reasons I didn't was because I'm like,
oh, this is this I see that who this person is. I don't know why, but I could I felt it in a
weird way. And I think that's the stuff that we get scared. We don't know what to do. It's all
that. No, I think there's a flip side to it too. What's that? I think sometimes people think that
they're more connected than they really are to somebody. Yes, there were several instances on the
old. I'm a show that you and I did that I was known as Christian Dan. I got I got pinged by three
different women who I'd never had a conversation with in my life to bail them out of trouble on three
different occasions. And I'm like, why are you calling me? Well, because of your religion. Like,
in other words, like they heard me on the radio. They were friends with me on Facebook. We never
had a conversation. What kind of trouble were they? Well, I don't even remember. It was like it was
like 11, 12 o'clock at night. And they want me to like, you know, come pick them up at a bar or like
can I stay at your house? I'm feeling like my, you know, something dangerous is going to happen.
And I'm like, I'm sorry. I can't do that. I don't know you. And this happened three times.
And three different ladies. And I'm like, listen, I'll pray for you. But I mean, I don't know
you well enough to I don't know you at all. Oh, because you're that's amazing in a way. So,
well, trust worthy, just on the Christianity. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. That's
pausing. And by the way, hey, let me let me let me. Three times. Hang on. Let me rephrase that.
That's a little crazy to me. Yeah. Because you're putting yourself in a not you them in a,
well, I would say a very risky situation. They don't know you. No. Right. I mean, how many people
have been Christians or say their Christian, excuse me. And we're creeps, not you. But I'm just
saying in general or whatever religion call whatever. You know, I want to I'm going to dovetail
this conversation because we're talking about authenticity and like connecting with people,
right? Something happened last week at the Masters. I found it hilarious. It's something that I
can relate to. And you will have stories to share about me and experiences you've had with this.
But I just wonder if part of the problem is again, and this wouldn't be one so much that
on connection, but we don't know how to we just don't know how to do it. We just don't know how to
do it. And we'll get to that right after this. Got a home improvement conundrum time to call
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Little piano interlude. I was thinking about this. Why is it when I would lose my shit? And I would
lose my shit? It's a problem. But when I see an athlete and when a lot of us see an athlete lose
their shit, we're happy with it. They care. That's that's that's a real thing. He just cares more.
And I'm like, that just doesn't seem right. And I bring this up because I don't know, but he's
and I'll just probably. I don't know. Did you see this? I did not see. Okay. Did you see this?
I should have anything in it. But I want you to just listen if you. Okay. There he goes. He hit it.
That's him smashing his life after he hits a shot. And in the shot, by the way,
ended up in a sand trap. And he kind of knew it. Like as soon as it took off, but listen.
Here he goes. 340 yards.
One, two. Hmm. These walks. I think he broke the driver. And he goes right into the sand trap.
This was the frustrated Sergio. He hits the ground. That driver is done for the day. So not only
to take it out on the tee box, but I think he got recommended too for that. I'm sure. You're
at Augusta, man. Yeah. But but in a way, I saw that when I get it, you know, he's acting like
every person who's ever played golf. Well, okay. We have a friend. Yeah. Or had a friend. Yep.
We had a friend. Well, I mean, like, like, like, I don't know if you're still cool with this guy
or I haven't talked to him in a long time. Who was a, who was a sports writer? And he would go off
and then report about it on social media about how his golf game was awful and just start cursing
the clubs and yell at it screaming. And I also heard from other people who worked in his industry,
who actually golfed at the same courses, not knowing he was there. And then hearing him from
two holes away, they go, oh, I didn't know he was here. And yet, lobe a hold. It was this dude.
I think you have a pretty good idea of what you're talking about. Yeah. I'm cool with everybody.
Yeah, I know. So I mean, I just we haven't talked about him. So the point is covers the bills.
No, we don't need to say, but the point is what? The point is it's golf. That's what happens.
But let's say that though in like in real life, uh, because we, we shame it in real life,
we celebrate it in athletes in a way. Like I will say, I think it's been set on the podcast.
I think maybe you have even a Lou Allen would be.
The Brady did at the players on the sideline. We here. We, we, yes, like, and I get it. I know
exactly all you're saying in that moment is show some more passion, be a bigger leader. That's
how we see leaders in that environment. And it depends on what moment we're in and what our
interest is in it. Yes, right? Yes. Like a, for example, Jay said used to like get angry with
teammates too, but everybody said how he's all in for himself. Well, why? Well, because he had a
consistent record of being a clown, but he couldn't win. So when people looked at James, dude,
if you're going to act like that, well, why don't you put up some numbers first? Why don't you act
like a better player before you start going off on people? You know, like right now there's a,
there's a, there's a little dissension in the Philadelphia Eagles locker room. And they just want
a Super Bowl. Yeah, not, not more than a year, just more than a year ago, right? Okay, with a
certain quarterback named Jalen Hertz. If you're going to walk the walk, but lives, it's not,
like, sports is the toy store life. So it's like, we want, we're invested in it because we want
want to be, it is, we all want to win a Super Bowl. When it's our personal lives and you're
yelling at people that people are like, we're in a small environment. Is this guy going to go off?
Is he going to hit me? Is he throwing things? You know, in a professional environment,
I think it's two different environments, even though they're both professional. It's completely
different environments. That's a very, very good point. But the other day golf is just golf.
At the end of the day, work is like, oh, dude, you don't want to host a working environment. And
I think that it's a microcosm. There are great things that you can learn from sports about life.
And, you know, how important it is to kind of do the nitty gritty. Like, I'll try to compare to
my kid saying to me that he didn't like the job he had. And he wants to go and record his
music at the studio. And I go, you got to think of it like working out, right? The athlete
may not want to work out. But he's got to work out to get to play on the field.
Blake Griffin once said, who you see everywhere now for some reason? Play in the NBA.
Yeah. Goes, you got to fall in love with the process of becoming great.
Yeah. And it is a process. And I think that those are the things because I've been that guy
that really lost their shit in things that go sideways. And it's embarrassing. But I get it.
There's a lot of pressure at times. And I don't know. I think in athletes, we do kind of love it
to a point. Tell you where we don't love it. President Barack Obama. Virginia, we are counting on
you. Republicans want to steal enough seats in Congress to raid the next election and wield
unchecked power for two more years. But you can stop them by voting yes by April 21st.
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And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on
car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.
Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this your first date?
Oh, no, we help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together.
We're married. Ah, meet a human, him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league anyways.
Only pay for what you need at Liberty Mutual.com.
Uh, uh, who was it? Um, AB.
Was it an Antonio? Okay, okay, yeah, who just took off his uniform walkoff.
Yeah, I'll never forget because I'm watching the bills and all of a sudden, yeah,
we got to go live to the metal lands here where Anton has completely lost it.
Wasn't even a highlight. No, Antonio Brown just he just fucking walked off.
Yeah, he took off his pads. Yeah, wasn't that with Tampa? Yeah, it was with Tampa.
It was he was he was playing the jets. Yeah, he just took off. He just walked out.
And the jets are like for once. It's not us.
Yeah. And I, uh, so my thing is we don't actually hate anger.
I can tell you one where very similar to that just happened when I went skiing with my son,
who had only learned to ski this past winter and had ski three times.
And then I'm taking him to a mountain at the end of the season where the snow was mashed potato
away. It was how I would describe it. You know, you would stick and sometimes
to grab your skis. Yeah, it was warmer and it's it's melting. Yeah, lumps.
So it's not a high-end commercial. I hadn't bought him skis because I don't know if he's
going to stick with the sport or not, right? He enjoyed it. But even when I was trying to push
him, let's go again on a weekend that we were around. He had he wanted to do something else.
And it happened to be very warm here. So I get it.
Um, so I rent him skis and we get up on the mountain and he falls a few times and I don't know
that this was a part of it, but my nephew, who's eight, is on an elite race team and he can ski
backwards. So Dylan is skiing backwards and trying to help my son and my son's being cool.
And then but something keeps his boot would pop out and then couldn't get back in the binding
and pop out and couldn't get back in the binding. And he was getting frustrated. My brother
was being really patient. My brother said, I think there's something wrong with these bindings.
I said, okay, well, we'll go down and you know, whatever. No, let me just keep going. Let me just
keep going. And then fell one more time and got up. Did not throw anything. Just left the skis,
left the pole, continued to walk goggles helmet. Just let them drop the way brothers pick it up
another. We all ski past them because a quarter of the mountain now sounds to walk down.
And it was kind of this thing and this one guy who was a friend of my brother just laughed. He
goes, this is so funny. He goes, it's just so funny. And I go, it's not. I like, I'm embarrassed,
right? But it wasn't a, no, no language, no, anything. Just complete frustration with falling.
Gets, I take him down, get new skis and I couldn't keep up with the kid. So it was clearly the
binding, right? But I needed to kind of talk him into that stuff. And I, so I always think like,
we don't hate anger. We hate when it's messy, inconvenient and embarrasses us. Right? Yeah. Or
if it's somebody who reflects upon us, like my kid will reflect upon me or or I would reflect upon
my parents. I know I did really. I'm so competitive and pissed off. And you know, I remember even a
basketball game and yelling on the sideline. It was like stupid. And it was a basketball game
with adults. And I'm at my dad's school and I'm fucking. I remember a story about a local
pitcher who made it, made it to the big leagues. And he's pitching locally and it's all these
scouts showing up. And he has a bad, bad first inning. Texas hat, Texas gloves, throws it,
takes his cleats, throws them. And one of the parents, smart Alex parents, whose other kid is
also there, looks at the scouts, I can deal with that, huh? I can deal with that. My kid doesn't
do that because yeah, you're kid and throw 96 either. Yeah. In other words, we can put up with that.
We can fix that part. Well, that, that's the thing is like, I think that one of the things.
I think that takes Sergio slam, right? And then you kind of shut down emotionally after that.
You don't even want to talk about it. I can even say I did the exact same thing when I got a
speeding ticket recently. I wasn't rude to the officer, other than I tried to peel out to make
a statement, but I could peel out. I didn't have the right car for that. Well, my, I didn't,
I watched, I watched the side of the mirror and I wasn't there was no way of injuring this guy.
But I was being such a child and so angry that when he hit the back bumper, I hit the thing and
tried to spin some dirt, which may have hurt him, right? I mean, and my point wasn't, it wasn't
even him. He's doing his job. I was pissed off, but I don't know sometimes what to do with that
emotion. And that's the same thing I would say was Sergio. He don't know what to do with that.
That's somebody who doesn't know how to channel the anger. When we see other guys who like,
they just stay calm and sure they're frustrated or whatever, maybe you can read their lips on the
sideline or what, right? But there's other than that, there's no big emotional display. There's
no slamming of a helmet. And then somehow they come back and man, they just shove it right up your
ass. Michael Jordan's a great example. Oh, yeah. He didn't, he didn't, and then he did. He
did. He was a great example. Oh, yeah, he would get mad. I mean, he punched out teammates.
Right. But his whole thing, Kobe Bryant's whole thing was, okay, I'm, I'm going to show you tomorrow.
Yeah, always tomorrow. And I'm going to show you tomorrow. I'm going to anger working out after
the game. Right. Or it adds you would go to town on the guy. Right. I mean, look, how many times
have we lost it? And I always say this, and I took that personally. It's just this place to
anger because the remote doesn't work. Yeah, where does the remote still be kept with the phone?
Sometimes I took that personally. Yes, they're, stop fucking with the phones. I, Danny and I
worked together. We were brand new to that company. You weren't, you had been there a while. I was
just filling in answering the phones that day. No. Okay. Okay. Okay. So you didn't even know me
that well. No, but we, here's what, here's what I know. We, at that time, there was a dynamic shift
in a local radio market. And a guy who's in the national radio hall of fame, brother, we's had
not come to terms on a contract with a new company that bought the radio station. So he was leaving.
And this was going to be a seismic shift in the market because he had such a loyal
following of people and, and, and, and was beloved or absolutely beloved. Did great numbers.
And it was me who I had been at that point, part of his show and producing a show.
And it was me and his comic on the show, Tommy, were the ones. And then everybody else, Sally,
who was there, all these people. Well, I don't think Sally was there that day. No, it was you.
Big mark. Yeah. Phil Sherman was right on the board. Right. And I was in what we called now,
the, the broke room, answering phones. So Sally may have not even been part of the show anymore.
No, she was. Sally was on vacation. Tommy was in Buenos Aires. And, and, and, and Rich was on
vacation too. Okay. So there's nobody really around. And all I know is that you have,
everybody's on vacation. They wouldn't let the rest of us have vacation.
Usually when a show of that size goes off, everybody goes goes to go vacation together.
Yeah. So I, I, I was feeling a lot of pressure. You were interviewing Fidel Castro's brother.
Yes. And it was a great interview. Yeah. And the phone. No, it wasn't. It was somebody who
went to high school. Yeah. Yeah.
Castro's brother took over. Yeah. No. He was a guy went to high school with.
Right. A local guy. Yes. Yes. Older man. And the phone kept dropping. And I'm back.
They're like, with my hands up, bro, it wasn't me. So, and, and, and, and these things happen,
right? But I wasn't handling well. And all I can tell you is at that time, and there are people
who are want to create projects about all this stuff. I get approached. I'm serious about like,
what that was like. And, oh, can we do the story and make a show out of this? And, um,
I haven't really sat down and thought about it. But at that time, I had a child who I was told
was on the autism spectrum, asperger, mild, highly functioning, doing very well in life today.
And venting stuff. But we're, we're, right. But we're talking years and years later, right?
So I got, I have him. I need health insurance. Um, I, you would walk around this building
that the new station studio was in. Um, and you saw like, they had a guy who they were moving
over to do afternoons from one of their stations to be now on our station. And they had a, a big
giant pad and they did a character breakout of this guy. And they left it in a very public spot.
So you could see it. So the plan I could tell, like, I'm not an idiot. I go, they want that guy
to be the morning guy. And I go, I got to keep this fucking job. And I knew that I was a producer,
but I was, I was making at that time, uh, a lot more than a thing would pay a producer. Well,
probably somewhere between 16, 75,000 at that time. And, uh, I, yeah, they were paying producers,
25 grand. That was it. Every, that's at what every producer got. I think. And we're wrong
enough. That was like 24 or five. Okay. All right. Because I know. Yeah. So, so I, and I had
all kinds of things in there. Like they were paying my phone on top of that. And they were doing
some, a laptop too. You're supposed to have a lot. Everything you need to do the show. You got it.
I had everything. So, and the reason I got all that was there was a station in North Carolina
that had tried to hire me. And these guys didn't want me to leave. So we came to that conclusion.
And so that had already doubled my radio salary. By the time I left, I, if I said the number,
people go really local radio and I go, yeah, I did. That's where I was at. But whatever.
So there's a lot of pressure, right? I'm the only one really working in my family at the time.
I want this to go well. I don't know where else I'm going to go. The other thing was like,
I was looking for to leave. There was a job in San Diego. And then the guy was going to go do it with,
drops out and says, I, I can't do it. He was in Dallas. His wife was a teacher. We were going to
partner up. Fine. So I didn't know what was going to happen. And I, you're just shitting a brick.
And I, and the pressure came and the pressure came. And I was mad. And I, I was always mad there.
President Barack Obama. Virginia, we are counting on you. Republicans want to steal
enough seats in Congress to raid the next election and wield unchecked power for two more years.
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playing field and let voters decide not politicians. Vote yes, by April 21st.
Paid for by Virginians for fair elections.
And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on
car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.
Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this your first date?
Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together.
We're married. Ah!
Meet a human, him to a bird.
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league anyways.
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I was always mad. And I'll tell you, when I look back now, it was all fear-based.
It was fear-based. And it's somebody who didn't know what to do with their anger,
who would just fucking lash out and just kind of tell people how stupid they were.
Because he was afraid of losing his job or not them not trusting enough for him for me to do it.
I'm talking like a third person, but for me to do it.
Oh, yeah.
And eventually, if it wasn't for JT, he was a boss.
It all worked out fine. It did. And that's where I go,
you put your burned a lot of calories and bridges, by the way, that
you know, it shouldn't have been done.
Right. And it was all displaced or misplaced anger.
Was misplaced anger?
Most anger is misplaced.
Of course it is.
It serves you could have other things going on in his life right now.
And all culminated on this t-box.
Right. And that's what I'm saying.
Like, you know, even when you would see, I don't know, maybe you saw your dad like
launch the remote because it's not working or...
Fuck it.
My father never like got violent or anything or did through things or any of that stuff.
He would just yell.
That was his way of getting it out.
Okay.
And he was a steel worker.
Like, people died doing his actual job.
Die.
And I'm not just talking about like, boom, you're dead, explosion.
No, this is like painful burning the death type of death.
Right.
Okay.
He was a...
He was a pickler and a steel plant.
Yeah.
And so he had that stress of leading his crew every day,
eight hours a day for 33 years.
And it was like, he's basically...
He called it working in hell.
And he'd come home and if things weren't just right,
he would...
He would take...
He would, you know, start yelling at everybody.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can understand that.
And then eventually he cooled off as he got older and realized,
all right, come on.
Well, also your testosterone drops a little bit.
A little bit, yeah, yeah.
And I was triggered at some of these things.
But you're right.
I mean, I think there's that.
Because anger's usually a secondary emotion.
I mean, we've sort of touched on that.
A lot of my stuff underneath was fear.
Fear of losing a job.
Fear of not knowing again.
Right.
We go back to the uncertainty of things and all that.
And feeling like people weren't believing in my ability to do this.
And people aren't.
You didn't have a history.
In a history of playing records
and pulling good ratings, talking between records.
But this was a talk show.
How do we know what this guy's going to do, you know?
Right, right, right.
I mean, I remember the first time I talked for 10 minutes
straight on the radio.
I think I called my mom and I go,
Hey, I just talked for 10 minutes.
Because you weren't allowed to.
It was like 90 seconds or whatever.
So, you know, it's there.
And I even look at Sergio Derny thing.
That's not frustration with that...
That's frustration over everything
that that shot meant to him.
Right, getting back in the tournament.
I think it might end of this day.
Yeah, you know, I just cut.
I get it, right.
And so, I don't know.
I mean, I'll ask you,
have you ever held an inverse, let it out, anger?
All the time, which is worse.
Yeah, which is worse.
It's all holding it in is a lot worse.
So, because then all of a sudden,
when you finally do let it out,
oh, look at this douche bag.
I knew he, I remember one time.
I actually got legitimately angry about something.
And, you know, it was righteous indignation.
And a neighbor friend in my wife said,
wow, we finally seen the dark side of Dan.
And I go, and that's why I hold it in
because people like you will say something stupid like that.
And they all froze.
I go, I get angry, just like you get angry.
Yeah, yeah, I understand.
But I tell people, I go,
but I'm the only one who's not allowed to be angry.
Yeah.
And they're like,
well, you could be angry.
I go, you just told me I couldn't be angry.
You just told me, I just saw the dark side of Dan Borello.
Hang on, though.
Hang on.
This is like five years ago.
No, I get it.
But I think that there's,
I think there's a disconnect in that communication,
at least the way I'm hearing it.
I think that unexpressed emotion finds a way out.
But the longer you carry it around,
the longer the heavier it gets.
Oh, yeah.
And the more impact it takes on.
Yeah, it's like a T-code.
It did, you're right.
But I mean, honestly,
I would take it to people call it your baggage, right?
But I think your baggage gets heavier
if you don't deal with it.
And it becomes,
and now there's more triggers to set it off
and to set it off.
And now it's like,
the real thing is so buried in this bag,
we gotta go through the sedimentary rock to fucking find it.
Yeah.
Because it's been in there.
And I mean, honestly.
Look, it's the Stegosaurus.
Yeah.
But every meltdown is just delayed honesty.
Yes.
It's just delayed honesty and stuff.
Right.
Now, like I mean,
like getting angry during Bill's games
is another thing completely.
It's comical anger.
It's funny anger.
We all understand.
That's just part of the game, right?
Like, how old you put there at third and one or fourth and one?
Right.
You have to put the other plus side of the field.
That's not real anger.
That's just like, you know,
yelling at a game coaching along.
I'm talking about like legitimate, like anger, you know.
And yeah, it happens.
And you're allowed to,
it was Bill Moran who once said,
Danny, you're allowed to get angry.
You are.
You're allowed to get angry.
But what I don't think you're allowed to do is yell the fucking phones.
Who's fucking with the phones?
Because that's that's your exact words.
We're stop effing with the phones.
I said,
you said you did not say the effort because you were on the air.
Yeah.
I went out in the hall.
You went out in the hall.
Top effing with the phone.
I lit.
It shows, we had an interview that's actually interesting.
It's so much better than anything else.
You got the other stupid stations.
I didn't say all that.
I did like at the top of my lungs.
Yes, you made sure they heard it on the second,
maybe the third floor bellowed, bellowed this.
And that, I mean, here's the thing to your point.
Anger's not the enemy,
not understanding how to deal with it as he is.
And I think that that's one of the things that people talk about.
How do I heal?
How do I do this stuff?
How do I do that?
How do I break these patterns?
How do I feel?
Everything is really, to me, comes back to when you set it,
fear-based stuff, whatever it is, what the trigger is.
I have seen so many times in my life
over the years that there was like a pattern with women
that it wouldn't matter who it was or what they were doing.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, it could be anybody.
It could be anybody.
And so that's interesting.
Yeah, it happens, it manifests in different ways,
in different patterns.
But once you recognize the pattern, okay, now how do we fix it?
Well, how do we stop it?
Right.
Tony Robbins says, I give myself three minutes to figure it out.
180 seconds, he says.
To figure out what?
To in other words, if I'm angry, I got to change my state
at any moment.
I cannot let the anger direct me.
I need to direct the anger.
It's a second there, here.
So I have my anger, but I give myself three minutes
to figure out how I'm going to solve this issue
or that I'm going to solve this issue.
And then I need to move on.
And it's hard.
You've got to train yourself to do it.
Oh, my mother's not changing your state
in a given moment.
My mother's just calling me and I got nervous
and I almost put her on the, on the air,
but I, she didn't, and she's not feeling well.
And then I'm waiting, anytime I get a call now,
I'll think, who died?
Who died?
Me too.
And so, I'm thinking, and then she just says,
oh, butt dial.
I'm like, okay.
Like if my stepfather calls me, I'm like,
uh-oh, is that his mom okay?
Oh yeah, I just wanted, yeah, she's in the car right now.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Good.
I will tell you, like, just wrap it up here.
And I guess this whole show is going to be about,
like, more emotions and things and how we're living.
I didn't mean for it to be that way, but-
We don't have to wrap it up here.
We could do another segment.
No, no, one more segment.
Yeah, okay.
I'm saying wrap up this segment.
But what I'm saying is, I think like,
we talk about healing and stuff that these courses
that I'm in and learning to just kind of,
to sit and observe your emotions,
which is what meditation and stuff
is supposed to really do.
Way easier said than done,
but to really just sit with it and feel it
and really feel it and then let it go.
I mean, I think, and I,
I'm gonna give this podcast a plug.
It's one we produce here, the two-fit chicks.
Pillified.
Oh.
The two-fit chicks podcast.
They had somebody in from the Isaiah House,
who is if you're really in need of hospice care
and you really can't afford it,
you can get this, it's completely free,
but they only have availability for like two people,
but it's end of life care.
And this woman sat there and she said,
you know, one of the things that I realized,
and I think she had been married
and then maybe ended up in another relationship
and she goes, I was in the shower one day.
This is not what you wanna say in front of me, but-
That's what people think.
No, no, I know.
I was driving.
It's time to make a perverted joke.
I know.
Lovely lady, but she just said,
I was in the shower one day and I started to think about,
you know, I had just had a breakup and this,
and it was kind of weighing on me and stuff
and that you just have to learn to let go
because when you get to the end of your life,
you're letting go of everything, everything.
And when she meant that, she meant like your ability
to walk at times, depending on where you are,
your ability to, like my dad couldn't shower himself.
Like I remember feeling, I thought of this today,
I remember feeling so bad watching him go to this cafeteria
and sort of sit by himself in a nice dining room and all,
but it's not even like you made your own meal.
You know what I mean?
I felt sort of institutional in a way.
It made me sad to see that and to even think that.
But, and then we had to help and get out of the shower
and then he signed up, we signed him up
to have somebody come in and clean him.
And I just remember the phone call.
So, you know what, Willie?
I remember this, you remember this.
Tell you what, Willie?
I mean, this woman came in and she left no stone on her.
She cleaned everything.
It's like, go.
What I say, everything, I was like, right.
And that's not a guy who in any way, shape or form,
was very, very modest in his president Barack Obama.
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And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go
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Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.
Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird.
What is this, your first date?
Oh, no.
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He didn't even like being barefoot.
He didn't want it.
So he wasn't wanting to be like,
I was dropping my pants and moon in everybody.
I don't know that he did.
Well, your father reminds me in his dress
as demeanor, like Jordan Peterson.
Like Jordan Peterson, if you ever see Jordan Peterson,
he's been sick for a couple of years now.
You don't see him anymore.
But he's always in a three-piece suit.
Yeah, but your father reminds me of a guy
who dresses up for everything.
He did and he did and he would dress up
as he'd get the male of he had to.
And so you're right.
But at the end, one of the things
when I look back is I'm like,
he went with that willingly.
He let go.
And I don't know what that that's like.
And so to learn to sit with your emotions
and just let it pass and let go,
maybe the greatest thing you can do for yourself
because in the end, you're fucking letting it all go man.
It all's just gonna go and that's it.
So what are you gonna do?
You gonna hold on to it?
Start letting it go now.
Start letting it go now.
Because it's easier to do.
Yes.
Right, let go, even if it's a relationship
that doesn't work for you, let it go.
Let go and let go.
Yes.
And I don't mean romantic if it's a friendship thing
that just has kind of, you know,
there's a time and a place for all things.
If it is a romantic relationship
and you just can't see where it's gonna go,
wherever, be honest.
Have that conversation and let it go.
You know, and if you're building something, give it time.
Don't rush it.
Let it just let go and let it be.
Let it be.
As the Beatles say, let it be.
All right, we'll take a moment and get into a,
I wanna talk about happiness.
I know it's weird.
Sounds like we've been talking about it all so.
I know.
Somehow this all came together and it wasn't intentional,
or maybe it was.
Maybe I don't know.
I don't know what my head was.
I wasn't planning to record today
and then just circumstances were of such
that I wanted to get one and I wanted to,
with you and this will drop as people head into a weekend
yeah, I mean, who knows when people will listen, right?
But that's when we'll drop it.
And as you go into the weekend, I do think,
you know, think about your anger and what you do with it.
Think about your connection to people
and how deep that is.
And then when we talk about happiness,
people are trying to be happy.
What does that mean and how do you do it?
Let's talk about it.
All right.
We'll do it next.
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I, uh, so many thoughts in my head these days.
Tell me about it.
I don't even mind.
Yeah.
What do you think about the medication bill?
They show up like Amazon packages that I didn't order.
Yeah.
What?
No, like your thoughts.
Oh, your thoughts.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I was also getting it.
Everything here in Mission Control just comes in at once.
I gotta find out how to keep my text messages
off some of the other equipment because it just doesn't.
That's why I just don't add them.
I don't add my phone to anything else, but my phone.
I don't even know what I did.
I don't, I don't even know.
Um, speaking of that,
we at the Apple store could connect everything.
Sure.
That's fine.
And I think that's great in a certain degree, but not always.
Uh, I'll ask you, maybe you'll have an answer for this probably that other people
cannot.
Uh, but one was the last time you were just sitting there doing nothing, just sitting,
quiet, and he didn't immediately reach for your phone, like, I don't know, like it was
life support or something.
Can you think of that?
A couple weeks ago.
A couple weeks ago.
I actually legitimately just trained myself to don't touch the phone.
Just leave it alone.
Yes.
And I, the reason I said it is, I, I think, and I did not mean for this entire podcast
to turn it to what I got this weird therapy thing I didn't mean it to, but you're somebody
I, you can talk to about this stuff and, um, I think that it's something that people
need to explore more of.
I, I, I really do.
I, we've never had more ways to feel good and yet we feel worse.
We've never had more ways to be connected and yet we're lonely.
We've never had more ways to understand what maybe more ways for us to figure out what's
underneath the anger and yet we don't.
And I, I think that it's really like something that I don't know why it's, it's, it's heavy
with me because, um, I just think that we're, the people talk about happiness as though
it's elusive and I'm not sure that it is.
Happiness is a choice, Billy.
Yep.
I know it's hard to believe.
No.
I, I think that's a choice.
You have to choose.
Yes.
Happiness.
You have to just, it's not going to find you.
No.
You got to find it.
Well, I believe that everything's, you know, a, a frequency in a certain way.
And I think that, um, like 96.5.
Yeah.
Right.
Exactly.
And I think that.
Six pack of classic rug.
Get some easy top for you.
I got to tell you.
Um, see if radio.
So dumb.
Somebody just tell me the other day.
Got a 12 pack of six packs written for you about Bob of the love spawns and Bob of the
love spawns radio program.
Yeah.
But I, I, I, I, I, I got, he got fucked again.
Well, he's not on radio.
He's always been showing an on grotto.
He's on some, uh, yeah, he's like, I guess he's on it.
And AM stations somewhere and a couple different spots in the country, but he's mostly
internet and, and, and people were saying, but the show is really good.
But he's just, you know, there's a couple who listen to our podcasts who listen to
Bubba.
They've at least they used to.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Look, I, I, I, I've met Bubba once.
Um, I, I liked him.
I know.
I know his, he comes on in that, that speech pattern that can be sort of jarring at first.
But he's a thoughtful guy and had some real stuff, uh, he's a sharp business man.
Yeah.
Well, that was one of the things he did for sure.
He made a lot on the merchandise stuff.
Uh, but I think all these lawsuits and the, and stuff have really, really drained that
guy.
I don't know why.
Marriages too.
Oh, we were talking about radio.
Yeah.
Uh, and then somebody that I didn't know, uh, has recently gotten let go and this person
had gone to high school with them and they said, yeah, no.
Uh, and I'm like, yeah, the, the industry got too big and it's things like this.
People want to hear real stuff.
Yeah.
They do.
They want to hear real, relatable stuff.
Can I be honest with you?
Like, I, you and I both have serious ex-him.
Yeah.
I've had serious ex-him.
My uncle, like, got it for me in like, oh, four, he go, hey, Dan, you know, I'm, uh,
I got this serious ex-him.
I don't use it.
Do you want it?
I'm like, you're a radio guy.
Like, yeah.
So I've had it.
And then when, like, I started paying for it myself around, oh, no, it was the one
luxury I allowed myself.
And the one thing that I hate about it, and I think this is the same for local radio is
that you don't hear DJs talking to people between songs anymore, like throwing a topic
out.
Like, uh, yeah, anybody else could hemorrhoids for the first time and, uh, what's it
like?
And the people would call up and whatever the topic was, but it was all relatable.
That was connection.
Yeah.
Here's poison.
It was connected.
Uh, serious ex-him.
You don't, you don't get that anywhere.
You can't call a radio station and get on and talk.
Okay.
And even with some podcasts, you can't.
Like, you know, we have a number, but, uh, I missed, I missed the interaction.
I love, like, you know, last night, my wife and I, I'm sorry, Saturday night, my wife
and I are driving home.
And on serious ex-him, at eight o'clock, they start experimenting with other shows.
They'll start playing other things that you normally wouldn't hear during the week.
And I go, yeah, because it's Saturday night and they experiment.
And you can hear people calling it and talking and it's like, yes, yes, real radio, fun.
Right.
I, um, let me go, since you're, since you're bringing that up, I want to try something.
Should we call people?
No.
Hey, we're on the radio.
We miss you.
No.
I'm trying to find this.
I just want to see something over.
Let's see if I can go.
Ma'am.
Is it, are you blinded now?
That's okay.
I'll be all right.
We got one second.
Uh, let's see.
I am, uh, I have the corporate phone app and I, I know there's messages in there.
And it'll probably be your friend Vinnie, but I get the, uh, I get it all the time.
Right.
Here we go.
Let's see.
Okay.
Here we go.
This is the cause you can make here.
What's up there, fucking fero speeder.
What?
Next, you know, you'll be this jocky and fucking late at night and I've been to some girls.
Yeah, I've got a little bit of buzz going on, brother.
You go ahead and run down the highway, bro.
Sitting here watching the masters getting splasters.
Yeah, you don't want it, man.
There's one guy who would not be allowed into Augusta.
Hey, motherfucker.
I think you might be getting Saturday night at a little after 10.
What fuck you doing?
Me and Kim got a little competition, bro.
And here when you get a fucking pick up, you're gonna pick up for your little skating buddy.
President Barack Obama.
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Vote yes by April 21st.
Paid for by Virginians for fair elections.
And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual.
Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.
Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird.
What is this your first date?
Oh, no.
We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together.
We're married.
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Me too, a human, him to a bird.
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league anyways.
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Oh, yeah, you don't have to pick up for me at school, man.
Yeah.
Can we fucking with your phone?
Bro, it up me.
All right.
This is why Saturday nights are so experimented with in radio because of guys like this.
Yeah.
Anyway, that there's there's other ones.
I can read them.
They're not they're just different things.
But I think that like that connection's gone.
And I think that also leads to happiness for people.
Yes.
And yeah.
And there was something where you felt like, here's the other thing.
This is what I learned from radio.
And I was just talking to somebody the other day and they're kind of like,
that's kind of like, well, there's transferable skills.
Look, I didn't.
My way into this was very circumventual.
Yeah.
It was right.
It was very odd.
How did this happen?
You got a sponsorship exemption.
Yeah.
Basically.
And the amateur of the year is Bill Moran.
I, but there's transferable skills in that listening.
Yes.
And then then reflecting back or whatever.
Think about all the problems we saw.
We tried to solve for people over the years.
They would call us.
Right.
And tell us their problems.
And Tommy and you would try to.
Brown, you got it.
Brown.
Or we'd have some guy named Coach Muley who we remember who coach the Tampa Bay band.
It solved their problems.
That was my favorite.
Tommy left.
Who was the.
It was, uh.
Buddy Knicks was the general manager of the bill.
Yeah.
And Buddy Knicks has a storied football professional football career.
He was a football lifer.
Yes.
He was a football lifer and deep from the south.
And Tommy would play.
He was the guy who discovered Terrell Owens.
Coach Muley.
And I said to Tommy, you got a call because we're having buddy Knicks on.
So Tommy leaves the tent, goes sits in the stands and calls.
And then.
And right away he's going, hey, you know, I coach at the Alabama Tuscaloosa sort of something
or other to write.
And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I remember you.
This buddy makes good.
I remember you.
And Tommy starts taking a pretty misogynistic.
He starts going on about, you know, all these women they want to be out there and blah, blah, blah, blah.
And buddy.
Do you hear what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
And so like, I think we offended buddy.
Yeah.
Or he got uncomfortable.
He are guy who's usually a stick in the mud.
I actually thought it was pretty funny.
It was funny because he was trying to like, he was trying to build up buddy's image as a, as a fun guy.
Yes.
Instead of being like an old Southern stick in the mud.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Yeah.
But I do.
I think we're not unhappy.
I think we're overstimulating.
You get bored.
You reach for your phone.
Right.
You get stressed.
You do some doom scroll.
I once counted during a Thursday night football game.
The number of times I reach for my phone while watching the game.
I said, okay, I'm not going to, I'm not going to grab my phone and every time I grab the phone.
Yeah.
I'm going to put in, I'm going to mark it.
I grabbed my phone in the second half because in the first half I was pretty good.
Yeah.
All right, it's half time.
You get out of your routine.
You get back.
You forget your, oh yeah.
I grabbed my phone 36 times in the third quarter.
36 times.
That's like, that's like twice in a football minute.
Right.
Two and a half times in a football minute.
It's really, why?
Because there's nothing to do with the game.
I mean, like Twitter and X and stuff.
But I mean, do I have to do that?
No.
Is there something on X that I didn't see during the game?
No, no, no, no.
I've missed so much stuff.
I just, but like back in the day, you had to sit with your thoughts.
Yes.
You know, and I know that sounds weird.
But now, I mean, you cannot run your brain all day long.
And I was great at that.
And I did it.
My thing was, I would distract myself from things that were bothering me by pushing them to the side
and just going and doing stupid shit.
Having a blast, over drinking, hanging out with people, hooking up with people, doing whatever.
And you start to realize that, I don't know.
You start to realize that it doesn't work.
It's not real.
It's not there.
I remember once, as we were talking about this, and then I want to bring up something else,
because I think you have an interesting look at it.
I was a young man, a younger guy, for sure.
And I have always found women irresistible in a way.
Certain women.
Certain, there's something.
I don't know what it was.
And I remember I was in, I was running some department, because I was, I wasn't on the radio every day.
I was like 23 years old.
And this college intern comes in.
And I remember, and I remember the thought, I'm sitting in an office, I look up,
she's at the cop here, and I'm like, God damn, that's a woman.
I don't know why that thought ran through me.
And there was a mutual attraction there.
Hi, baby.
And I really, really liked her.
And she is somebody that I see her brother quite often these days.
And, but I just never pulled the trigger on it, because I was already involved with somebody.
And that's why, like, I don't know what it is, man.
There's certain women.
I can see it.
I can sense it.
And then I'll stay away until my path is clear.
And when my path is clear, if the person is still available, great.
But this was one of those situations.
And my path was not exactly clear.
And it came down to kind of a choice of stuff.
And I didn't, I made a different choice.
And I remember her telling me that she was so mad at me, and she sat down.
And I never knew anybody who did this and wrote a letter.
The Lincoln letter.
Or just wrote a letter.
Yeah.
But the greatest thing was that was somebody who knew how to handle their anger.
Yeah.
At a young age.
Like, all this emotion, all this confliction.
Why, why all this attention and then nothing?
Why all this blah, blah, blah.
Right?
Like, that's, you know, kind of what was happening.
And I go, man, what a way to handle that.
What a mature way to handle that.
Instead of me who would just fucking get drunk, call you up, light you up.
Tell you what a bitch you were.
And then, you know, basically the imagery in my head was always throwing everything in the dumpster,
pouring some caracene on it, walking away, letting a match to throw it over my thing.
Like a, and that was it.
And I go, that's such a childish way to handle anything.
You know what I mean?
And now I think we don't know how to handle anything.
We don't know how to connect.
You know, dopamine on demand is what we have.
Right.
We're being flooded with dopamine.
And you can all get so much of it.
Yeah.
And then when you can't get it anymore, now the sudden you're getting depressed.
Why?
Because you, it's like, it's like dopamine's a lot like heroin.
Just stay with me on this one.
Sure.
You're always chasing that dragon.
And you're never going to get it.
So you have to like just sit in your thoughts and let life be regular once in a while
or for a long while.
And then your heights will become that much happier again.
Right.
Well, you brought up something earlier where you said the microwave was the microwave culture.
Yeah.
Well, it used to be called microwave.
That's on demand culture.
But like they started with the microwave.
Right.
But you don't have to wait for anything anymore.
No.
You don't have to wait for anything anymore.
You can do sports betting 24-7.
Yeah.
Right from your bed.
You used to have to like get on a plane to bet on games now.
You can get, unless you know juice.
You get food delivery.
Endless content.
There's dating apps.
There's dating apps for all kinds of stuff.
There's just casual hookups.
There's this.
There's that.
And I'll ask the question.
Are we happier than we were 10 to 15 years ago?
I'm starting to think we're not.
And we've confused pleasure with happiness.
Right.
That's such a great point.
I think we've confused pleasure with happiness.
Pleasure with happiness.
Yeah.
The moment happiness is an attitude.
It's a lifestyle.
It's a way of life.
Joy.
Joy.
Joy.
The word should be, instead of happiness, joy.
Yeah.
Joy.
Like my wife, yes.
She's like, you're singing.
What do you sing?
I know you want to get gone.
I'm like, no, I'm just joy.
I'm just a joy in sitting here with you.
When you're done, you're done.
I'm just having a good time with myself.
Is that what you do?
You just make up just random songs?
I go, yeah.
I go, it makes cleaning easy.
Whenever I hear it a little kids singing,
I go, that's a happy kid.
Yeah.
That's a happy kid.
I agree.
Like, I'll be sweeping the floors
and making up stupid songs.
Yeah.
Just the general.
Why?
Well, pleasure is a quick hit.
Happiness is deeper.
Yeah.
And it's earned.
And it's something that I think
that we just don't know how to get.
It's slower.
It doesn't come right away.
It's slower.
You know what?
Think about this.
You get to your goal weight.
Or you fit into the outfit you wanted for the wedding.
Or you've been working out and dieting.
And then somebody gives you a compliment.
It's happiness.
It's gratification.
We could also say it's pleasure because it's brief.
But to me it lasts longer because you did it.
You did it.
It's why I used to like to build shit with my hands.
You did it.
There's a great satisfaction in there.
We don't do that anymore because everything's an
on-demand dopamine.
Yeah.
Right?
Or it's pleasure.
And we've confused pleasure for happiness.
And that to me is like, that's it right there.
We don't relax.
We distract.
Right?
We don't.
We don't multitask.
We switch tasks.
Right.
Exactly.
Or we don't process something.
We scroll.
We'll just scroll through.
Or we'll look for the guru on TikTok or whatever platform
to find us to sit there.
And I don't know.
You could try the 10-minute test.
I mean, I sort of do it every day.
What's that?
Where you sit.
I just sit and try to meditate.
Or just clear my mind.
But just sit there.
No TV, no phone, no noise.
No anything.
Oh, yeah.
Just sit there.
I tried to do that with, like, with my breathing exercises.
Yeah.
After 20 minutes of, like, five minutes of humming,
five minutes of alternate nostril breathing,
which is good for you.
Yeah.
Five minutes of box breathing.
Yes, that is.
Yep.
Yep.
I mean, it's just, it's very, very helpful.
And then they say, like, you know, if you can master before bed,
like, taking five breaths a minute for about a half hour,
you'll sleep better.
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I just...
Six seconds in, six seconds out.
So in this episode, we've talked about loneliness.
And we're around more people.
We've talked about anger and we don't process emotions.
And then we talk about this with happiness.
But we don't sit still long enough for anyone to understand anything.
Right.
Especially ourselves.
And I go, you don't need more content.
More apps.
You don't need more noise in your life.
Need less.
You might just need a minute.
He just might need a minute.
And that's where I think that we're not living.
One of my favorite talks, your hosts, that I've loved since the first time I've heard them
is a sports guy named Colin Coward.
Now, he sounds like a little bit of a puke.
Okay.
Because you can...
Hey, you've got fairy, you know, have a man laugh at his own jokes sometimes.
But, you know, I think Joe Brady is going to bring the bills to a Super Bowl.
Now, he's like flip flop down this.
But my point is, he's very well read, very well studied.
Every topic he has has a real life application.
Yeah.
And he goes, they did a study of all the studies.
A study of all the studies.
What makes people so sad?
What's everybody's problem?
Why are people sick all the time?
What's going on?
It all comes down to one thing.
We've talked about it several times on this show.
Loneliness.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
You're not meant to be a loan.
No.
But...
And by the way, that's called real human contact.
That's not even talking on the phone.
No.
It's going into an office.
Right.
It's working with people.
It's going outside.
It's talking to people.
Yeah.
It's meeting with people.
And it's more than just...
It's a connection.
Yeah.
Saying, hey, did you see this meme?
Yeah.
It's getting to know someone.
Malcolm Gladwell wrote in...
Not the typical point.
What was outliers?
There was a group of immigrants from Italy that came to New Jersey.
Wow.
Where else, right?
Jersey.
And these people all lived in their 90s and hundreds.
This little community.
So they did a study.
Well, was it the environment?
No, it was toxic.
It was New Jersey.
It was a dump.
Well, it was...
Was it the food?
Was it the olive oil?
No.
They adopted an American diet.
You know what they all did?
They all got together and talked to each other every single day.
They were all genuinely curious and interested in each other's lives and had meaningful conversations.
And by the way, in Europe, they still do that.
It's not about drinking wine.
I mean, I'm sure the food has something to do with it, but it's not about blue zones.
It's about connection.
It's about a little human interaction.
Which you could do with us coming up.
No.
Oh, I'm serious.
That's really true.
That is exactly the thing that I even noticed within my own parents as to who's still alive
and who's not, that there was a loneliness factor there.
And that we are wired for that.
But what my point with that is we're more connected than we've ever been and yet people
still feel lonely.
And why is that?
Because we haven't truly connected.
And I think vulnerability is a hard thing for a lot of people.
I think that I don't want to be judged.
I don't want to this.
I don't want to that.
And once you kind of realize every human being is a human being and you can kind of accept
that, that's where the real authenticity is.
That's where you start to figure out who you are.
You know, I was going to ask you to sometimes this comes up and I would say, you know, what
what is a man?
What is a man?
What does it mean to be a man?
Because you had to do on those little boys earlier, what does it mean to be a man?
Well, I think what it means to be a man is to be very grounded and not need jerky and
not emotionally reactive.
And someone who understands themselves very well and can say things like I need a minute
or whatever and just be comfortable in their own skin as to who they are.
I don't think a man has to be loud and yelling and punching people out and not can somebody
out.
No, that's a show.
Right.
But I mean, but that's what we always had as a man.
In securities, the mother of all do you agree?
Right.
I mean, that's not a man.
A guy that I think as I've gotten older as I've enjoyed music a lot was Frank Sinatra.
And I remember hearing somebody go, he was so angry all the time.
Yeah.
Well, fear, right?
Fear it.
It's secure.
Like he would like toward the end of his career stuff in a fire.
Oh, was Jay Leno was talking about it.
He was over there.
Oh, yeah.
A rap pack at the house.
And he's like all of a sudden something he's throwing shit at the fire and, you know,
and that's a real unhappiness why because you've got so much pressure and shit coming
on.
You don't know which way he's going to go.
You got that tax issue.
You had and all that stuff.
He toward the end of his career, he was starting to forget words and stuff and he's yelling
at the band.
Yeah.
No, Frank, it was you.
Yeah, I know.
I've been frank.
What are you going to do?
You know, I just think that once you figure that stuff out, that just makes you agree human
being no matter how you identify.
Right.
You'll be able to handle anything.
And it's not easy.
Magic expectations.
Find your purpose.
There you go.
Ground yourself.
Yeah.
And it's all the shit that all the.
I'm Jesus.
A lot of people say.
Yep.
That can help.
Certainly.
I mean, you want to get an example.
I've gone to church.
I've been back in church the last three years.
Every Sunday I go, man, everyone is joyfully happy to see each other.
Yeah.
And no one's in a hurry to leave.
Right.
Nobody.
Yeah.
You went to church recently?
I went to a...
I went to...
I had a project I need to do to understand a culture that I'm not part of.
And how was everybody, you know?
So I went...
I had Mercedes Faskett Simmons on here who was Latino and I said to her, I have this project.
I need to do some stuff and she said, join me at church down in the city.
So I went down to Clifford Avenue.
And the entire mass was in Spanish and the church was absolutely spectacularly gorgeous.
There was a lot of young families there.
And the music had bongos and stuff, bongos and horns in a Catholic church, like they're
playing bongos.
And everybody's singing and there's times during the hymns, they're clapping and stuff.
There was a joyousness there.
And I didn't understand what Jardi was saying because it was all in Spanish.
But there was a purpose.
There was a purpose.
There was a priest who has come from Colombia who seems to have really united this church.
He's speaking directly to the community, talking about things like the food cupboard.
And if you know someone, please let them know that this is available.
We don't want anybody, blah, blah, blah.
If there's somebody who has a question about their immigration status, not that we can
change that, but we have people who we can get you in touch with to help you figure that
out.
And it was all those things.
And it was like really caring about the people, giving a shit about the people who are
sitting in front of them.
And I'm like, that's a real, that's a real man.
There's a guy.
Right?
And I didn't know half more than half.
There's a purpose.
There's common ground.
Right.
Right.
There's camaraderie.
Yeah.
This week, you're a Simon this week.
It is to find people.
Yes.
Yes.
Go find people.
Go connect with somebody.
Connect with them.
And do it in a good way.
Not like.
Hey, baby.
Hi, baby.
I think my A is going to fit in your B.
You can fit together like a key of furniture.
Maybe there'll be one screw left over.
I don't know.
I don't know.
No idea.
We're like.
For Dan Barillo, I'm Bill Moran.
We'll see you next time.
Get connected.
Yeah.
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