Sneak Peek: Joy Comes in the Mourning

0:00Let's be honest, buying cannabis shouldn't be complicated, sketchy, or low quality. That's why I want to tell you about mood.com. That's M-O-O-D.com. Mood ships federally legal cannabis straight to your door. No medical card, no hassle, and here's the kicker. The quality is better than anything you'll find at your local dispensary. Yeah, I said it. Whether you're into edibles, concentrates, flower, or just looking to explore, you'll find it all at mood. And it's not just the variety that makes them stand out. Every product is sourced from small American-owned family farms that care deeply about what they grow. It's cannabis you can trust, delivered discreetly, and ready to elevate your mood. And because you're a listener, you get 20% off your first order. Just head to mood.com. That's M-O-O-D.com to get started. Hi guys, just a quick update because I recorded this episode a while ago. The book launch party is actually happening on Sunday, April 26th now.

1:005 p.m. still at Oldfield's liquor room. If you're local to LA, you're invited. Okay, bye back to the show. All right, guys. It is a big day today. It is April 17th. And my book Joy Comes in the Morning is officially out everywhere. I got to check that. But anyway, you can definitely get it on Amazon. And if you live in Los Angeles, you can come see me at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books tomorrow and Sunday, starting at 10 a.m. Our booth is number 362 in the teal zone under the title Wicked Riders. So today, an honor of celebrating my book launch. Oh, and one last thing. If you also live in the Los Angeles area, you can come to my book launch party happening at Oldfield's liquor room on Saturday, April 25th, starting at 7 p.m. Okay. Anywho, into today's special episode. So because we are celebrating the launch of my book today,

2:01I'm going to give you guys a special preview of my book. So I will be reading the first chapter today. And just to give you a little bit more info on what my book is. So Joy Comes in the Morning is a coming of age story for your late 20s. Our main character, June Alexander, is grappling with the death of her mother five years later. She's regretting the fact that she lost her 20s to grief and isolation and feeling like she's just wasted so much time. And then she gets a phone call from a storage facility telling her that her mother's unit has defaulted on payments and it needs to be cleared out by the end of the week. Now, June has no idea that her mom had a storage facility. So she's thinking, what the heck is this? Is this some serial killer? Is this some scam? What is going on? She gets there and the only thing inside of the unit is a box that says for my daughter on the side and within it, a book. And that book is a collection of journal entries and recipes,

3:01life tips, life advice, and everything in between from not only her mother, her grandmother, and her great grandmother. So June takes this book and uses it as a way to find the spark for life, enjoy again, and creates a bucket list. She's going to go on a lot of different adventures. She's going to learn some family secrets. And at the end of the day, she's a girl who's going to be okay. So any who, for real though, I wrote this book a lot, you know, based on kind of my own experience. I was inspired by my own experience dealing with anxiety and feeling like I was like wasting my 20s for those who know, I refer to it as like my caffeine incident, but basically I took like 400 milligrams of caffeine on accident, like pre-workout vibes, hydroxy cut, whatever. And I thought I was going to die. And it triggered a series of panic attacks, basically developed a panic disorder.

4:03I was afraid to drive. I was afraid to eat. I was afraid to walk even 10 steps. I was afraid of anything that could raise my heart rate. I was living in a hell of my own creation. And I had to like take a lot of steps to get out of that place. And I'm, you know, I'm so proud of the progress of where I'm at now. And that's really like where the kind of idea for this book comes from is like, I had to kind of dig my way out of this anxiety and being so afraid of living. And so instead of using anxiety as the catalyst in the novel using grief instead. And then I think, you know, those who know me in real life, I have a very close relationship with my mother. She is still alive. And, you know, really reflecting on a lot of our relationship and our experiences together in this book as well. So, you know, I consider this a book club fiction novel. Like I've mentioned before, it's a book you're going to want to drink wine, chat about with your girls.

5:05And yeah, so I'm going to go ahead and read the first chapter now. And let's get into it. About a year from now, I've never been the kind of person who can just move on. I linger in the movie theater to watch every name, scroll the credits. I can barely find myself able to leave my seat when the last production company logo has hit the screen. Or the juicy pizza that lets you know the movie was made in Georgia. I like to listen to songs on repeat. I want to keep the familiar melodies and harmonies echoing in my head. I like to play memories on repeat too. I'm obsessed with the past and the idea that things are better there. Even if reality doesn't always align with that fantasy. When I was a little girl, I found myself never wanting the day to end. Never wanting the sun to set. Never wanting to go to bed. Staying up just one more minute, then another, trying to keep the day contained within itself. I hated endings. I hated when people left.

6:05I hated when things changed. I wish there was some magic that could tear me back in time. Take me back to a time before I found out. Back to a time before my father left. Back to a time before I knew how life would unfold before me. Like in the movies when the power of love can make everything okay. Reverse the clock on all the damage that's been done. But those were just movies. And this is real life. June, where did you go? Dr. Leola, an older black woman in her late 50s or maybe early 60s, looks at me with expected eyes. She insisted that I call her Dr. Leola rather than Dr. Williams. It felt too formal to go by last names. She told me during our screening call. Her grace sister locks are pulled into a clock clip. Her eyes are a faded green that almost make her look like she's about to cry. I don't want to tell her about that day. I don't want to tell her how it felt like my entire world fell apart just after I'd figured out how to put it back together again. I don't know where to begin. Do I start with the day my father left?

7:06The conversation I overheard in the kitchen between my mother and grandma Jean. How I'd blocked out those memories until everything came flooding back all at once. Maybe I'd known all along. Maybe the answers I'd been seeking were always right in front of me. Sorry, I'm here. I promise. Why don't you tell me about your past? Your intake forms mentioned. Your father left your family when you were young. Why don't we start there? That moment felt like the catalyst for everything that would go wrong in my life. One day I was normal and I had a normal childhood with a normal family. And the next day all normalcy was out the window. I remember his bare hugs. That swallowed my entire body as I stood in our front yard barefoot in the grass. I remember the faded hat he wore tip to the side. I remember his wool coat worn at the edges. I remember the holes in the wall. I remember the yelling matches I could wake an entire neighborhood. He never hit my mother only near her or around her. I remember watching his car turn out of our driveway and down the street, getting smaller and smaller until it was out of sight.

8:07But I remember the change that happened my mother too. She became lighter. The house became more lived in. More full of love in a way. Grandma Jean came over more often. My mother became looser. She played records loud enough to fill the entire house. She drank too much wine at dinner. We talked about what her life was like before I was in the picture. Her trip to Yosemite with friends. Her retelling of the first time she ate Chinese food. June, come back to me. Dr. Leola tugs on her top cashmere sweater with one hand. She crosses one leg in front of the other. Also draped in cashmere. A matching set. Her whole office is a matching set. Two abstract paintings hang on each side of her lounge chair. Positioned above two matching nightstands. I sit across from her in a chair identical to hers. Light comes in from the large bay windows making up the right side of her office, which is located in a tall building in downtown San Francisco. I've never been to therapy before. Devon practically forced me into coming.

9:08June, you can't do this alone, she'd said. I find the arms of my chair and rub them simultaneously. Maybe a genie will appear and take me far away from here. Vulnerability is hard. Okay, here we go. Okay, audiobook narrator in like in the future or what? Yeah, so that was the first chapter of my book. Joy comes in the morning. You can buy it on Amazon. You can come see me in real life this month, which is really exciting. There should be a way to buy it through other retailers as well. If you don't want to support Amazon, I totally get that. So I will put the information in the show notes. So thank you so much. I hope you enjoyed that little reading and bye bye. Oh, sorry, I got to do my, what the heck? I didn't do my outro. All right, that's all I have for this episode of ingest we trust. I'm your host, Jess Johnson. See you next time.

10:11ingest we trust. Let's be honest, buying cannabis shouldn't be complicated sketchy or low quality. That's why I want to tell you about mood.com. That's m-o-o-d.com. Mood ships federally legal cannabis straight to your door. No medical card, no hassle, and here's the kicker. The quality is better than anything you'll find at your local dispensary. Yeah, I said it. Whether you're into edibles, concentrates, flower, or just looking to explore, you'll find it all at mood. And it's not just the variety that makes them stand out. Every product is sourced from small, American-owned family farms that care deeply about what they grow. It's cannabis you can trust, delivered discreetly, and ready to elevate your mood. And because you're a listener, you get 20% off your first order.

11:11Just head to mood.com. That's m-o-o-d.com to get started.