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Many parents play board games or sports with their children and wonder, “Should I let them win? Or let them lose?” Jim Daly explains why children benefit from both success and failure.
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Focus on the Family Commentary — Should I Let My Kids Win?. Machine-transcribed; use the interactive transcript above to jump the player to any line.
Should I let my children win or should I let them lose? That's a question every parent has to answer sooner or later. And some parents, well, they never back down. It doesn't matter if it's a game of candy land or playful wrestling match. They expect their children to win or lose on their own. But that strategy can be taken to extremes. If parents refuse to ease up, their children may never experience success. And that can be totally demoralizing. An endless string of losses can destroy a child's confidence before it ever has a chance to develop. They may even learn to stop trying all together, thinking, why bother? I never win no matter how hard I try. Now, the other extreme is just as damaging. Research shows that young children who are always allowed to win can develop a false sense of confidence. In a recent study, children played a game that was rigged in their favor. So they always won and won easily. The children became so overconfident in their abilities that they rejected their parents' guidance and wisdom.
They believed they could always succeed without relying on anyone, including their parents. And that's an unhealthy perspective for a child growing up. Children need a balance of both success and the opportunity to learn from their failures. Striking that balance is what the art of parenting is all about. You're not just teaching your children how to win and lose games. You're teaching them how to win and lose in life. To help your children thrive, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com. I'm Jim Daley.
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