Sam Spade - The Vaphio Cup Caper

Adventures of Sam Spade Detective brought to you by Wild Root Cream Oil

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Sam Spade, attack your vacancy.

That is the correct answer. You have just won 104 million dollars,

six deep freeze units, a stable of polo ponies with matching saddle soap,

a Terry cloth robe with chalked with bars pre-melered into the pockets,

and a full-sized real honest a goodness tread knot,

such as this used by Uncle Sam's Navy.

Oh, I'm sorry you have to call back.

I'm expecting to be taking dictations and my employer very shortly.

Oh, I am sorry your time is up and

Edna St Vincent Markowitz is sent in the question,

gets bumped off in front of the studio audience,

gathered in the Dretswood room here in Columbia Square.

Next night on Azure Ford's stupid.

Oh, Sam!

Let that no-coaching please.

Oh, did you find the cop? Was it murder?

Was it really worth, um, well, you know, priceless and like that?

Was it fun?

Yes, yes, yes, and no.

And finally, are you kidding?

Well then why was it called the Baffiolka?

It's a very old Greek expression, which is what I'll be wearing

as I sit in your lap, dictating my report on the Baffiol Cupkeeper.

National Hammond, America's leading detective fiction writer and creator of Sam Spay,

the hard-boiled private eye and William Spear,

radio's upstanding producer director of mystery and crime drama,

join their talents to make your hair stand on and with the adventures of Sam Spay.

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In Baffles or the handy YouTube, it's again and again the choice of men

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And now with Howard Duff starring as Spay'd,

wildroot brings to the air the greatest private detective of them all

in the adventures of Sam Spay.

Oh, the man's arm, boy, he's moving in, man, I'm not a thing, I'm not a brother, man, man.

Uh, date, August 22, 1948, to, uh, Jeth Rhodes, Shizwick, Asquire.

Oh, spelling, Sam.

Uh, he asked you, you.

No, Sam, I meant the name.

It's, um, Chizro, Jethwick.

I did not say Chizro, Jethwick.

I said, Jezro, Chyphek.

I mean, Chyphek, uh, look, we'll check it later.

Sam, it might, I have an uncle in Brooklyn in Smith.

Maybe a family out of this, eh?

But he's only by Married Sam.

It's quite a common name.

Name three people named Chyphek.

No, Smith Witt Sam.

Honestly, there's Uncle George and Adam Meania by a previous marriage.

Then there's my cousin, Rupert, on the Christie side.

When you have finished ruminating amongst the foliage of your family tree, Miss Perrine.

I only mentioned it in the morning.

Oh, right, me.

You're not all over again.

Turn out that page.

Yes, Ryan.

Oh, no, please.

No need to curse me.

Uh, till, uh, Chizro, Chizwick, no common place.

From Samuel Spay, Liza's number one, three, seven, five, nine, six.

Hey, what's that?

Nothing.

There's nothing.

Well, subject, the Vapio Cupcafer, Deer Commodore.

That's the way I like you.

Meek.

I'd always consider myself fairly well first

on the subject of cups.

But if anybody had told me there was such a thing as a Vapio Cup,

they'd get a nightmare with one, which they did.

Mr. Spay.

Yeah.

I'm just Ray Brody.

I talk with your secretary on the phone.

Do you follow?

Oh, yes, Mr. Brody.

Sit down.

Rest your package.

Thank you, I prefer to hold it for the time being.

My cards are the office and Brody and porters and exporters, mm-hmm.

Mr. Theophilus is my partner.

Demetriate the office.

You follow?

I follow.

It was Mr. Theophilus who brought the Vapio Cup into the firm.

I furnished the cash capital.

Vapio Cup, I do not follow.

Yes, indeed.

The only one of these treasures to fall into private hands,

one of the fabulous Vapio cups.

Those exquisite and comingly-wrote examples

of the art of the ancient Grecian Goldsmith, excavated

by the great Shleeman from a beehive tomb in Sparta.

Hmm, beehive.

My senior age.

Just west of the lion gate.

Oh, the lion.

Pardon me, Mr. Brody.

Are you trying to tell me that this cup is very valuable?

Price.

And that you will manage to find a buyer?

You follow?

And that you want me to deliver that package,

containing your priceless cup and return

with your customers cash?

Accurately put.

I presume you have undid.

Uncork me and save yourself.

You are a drool fellow to be sure.

I had a light practice, drool and coffee.

Now, what is this Vapio Cup?

I will show it to you.

You are about to see a treasure, but few eyes

have looked upon in our time, Mr. Sade.

The Vapio Cup.

Handware carefully.

It's fragile.

You could crush it in your hand like so much tinfoil.

Yet this golden relic of a golden age

has come down through the centuries miraculously unscathed.

Note the delicately wrought lines of the bar in yet.

The exquisite draperies on the figure of the carry-acted.

The anguish on the face of the fallen hunter,

the sheer brute force of the wild boar charging to the kill.

Holding this golden cup in your hands,

you encompassed three thousand years.

Do you comprehend why there's no question of insurance here?

Frankly, I don't.

By dear man, an item such as this is worth only as much

as a collectible pay for it.

This particular collector has offered $200,000.

It might never be offered again.

You follow.

I follow.

Very well.

Here's your fee.

$100.

I follow.

And here is the address of my client in Los Angeles.

Commodore Jetthrochiswick.

Oh, no.

Where to?

You will take the noon train.

Any questions?

Yeah, why can't I go on a plane?

Because I've placed an item in this afternoon's papers

to the effect that the treasure is to be transported by a train.

If I were a gunner, when I read that, I'd

have to take the train.

That would be your first spot.

Then you would think they're saying they're taking the plane

to make me think they're taking the train.

Therefore, you would take the plane after all.

Oh, would you?

If you were really clever, you might

say they're taking the plane to make one

think it's the train.

So I take the plane after all.

And therefore, now, my mind, by this time,

is decided on the bus.

The train is perfectly safe.

You follow?

The package was light in the drawing room,

and the train was comfortable.

It seemed like an easy way to earn 100 bucks.

I knew it wouldn't last.

Never does.

I was prepared for the knock on the door,

and I got ready for the inevitable small dark man who

plays the Peter Laurie pot.

But this one fooled me.

It was a tall thin act that was sandy hair.

OK, Sharma's hand over the package.

You won't be no trouble.

Sure, there it is on the safe, daggin'.

Huh?

It's OK.

You got me covered.

I won't make any move.

What are you trying to pull?

To stick up, isn't it?

Maybe I got the roll-ca-pot.

Oh, that's it.

The cups in there unwrapped and saved yourself.

Oh, no, you don't.

I ain't picking up no booby traps.

Oh, you yellow, huh?

I know that one, too.

I don't cut no ice for me.

Search yourself.

Gamed gen?

You're nuts.

I'm getting out of here.

Wait a minute.

I'll buy you a drink.

Hello, Trink.

Lunch?

In a go.

Yes, indeed, Mr. Spade, I agree.

Clarence is a very comic or fellow.

Sorry, you.

I took the liberty of stepping into your folk,

so why should you have your little railway

and the African-Pennyan wave, then?

My mate, Dad Clarence.

You mind?

Not at all.

Well, sir, I'm afraid you're going to mind a great deal.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

And that's how I met you, Cymador.

I was so busy sizing up the 45 in your right hand

that I didn't even notice when you left

a whipped-out of your cold pocket with one of the largest

saps I have ever felt.

The next time I saw life, you were gone.

The Vapio Cup was gone, and the train

was pulling into San Jose.

I got off, rode back to San Francisco

with a truckload of chickens, and headed straight

for my Clarence apartment.

You got here quick?

Yeah.

Come in.

Thanks.

Well?

Well, what?

Well, I can't both play this dead man.

We'll stay in that place.

It's in the back room.

What is?

The body.

You're from the police, aren't you?

I'm a private victim.

Oh, dear, you.

Hey, what was that for?

The spying on me.

You and all the other cheap gums

you was my husband's highest.

You're Mrs. Brody?

I'm in a deorphalist.

Didn't you meet my husband, Harry?

My name is Sam Spade.

I was hired by one Chester A. Brody,

your husband's business partner.

Well, Sam, I hope he paid you an advance,

because he's the body.

Chester A. Brody was just fairly identifiable.

Somebody had worked hard trying to persuade him

to say a do something he either couldn't or wouldn't do.

The only interesting clue was in the waste basket.

At first, I thought it was a flattened beer can.

But it was the vanfield cup or a facsimile thereof.

Well, how do you like it, Sam?

I don't.

He was my client.

I wasn't hired to protect him.

I didn't like him, but he was my client.

How would you like me for a client?

I'll give you the name of a lawyer, sister.

My name is Enoch.

Enoch?

Now, let's see what I can squeeze out of you

before the cops do.

Brody was your husband's business partner, and you're...

You don't have to be subtle.

He was mad about me.

I'm all broken up about his death.

So is he.

That wasn't funny.

That time I deserved it.

You don't like me, do you?

Can't you get it through that steel jagged at brain of yours

that you're in bad trouble?

If there's a dead man on the next room, beaten to death,

and you're not supposed to be here?

Well, I was supposed to be here.

We were going to a loape as soon as you brought back

the money from that Greek thing.

Yeah, what about that Greek thing?

It was an antique.

It was called the vanfield cup.

Yes, I know about that.

Well, my husband dug it up in Greece

and sluggled it into the country.

Yeah.

Resolve he had, but it was such an important piece

that he was able to persuade Chet, the late Chester

Brody, that is, to let him in as a full partner.

Then what?

Well, they quarreled.

My husband made some bad investments in Chet

wanted to sell the cup to save the firm.

Me, three refused.

I didn't think it was fair.

So I got the keys to the safety deposit box,

whether a cup was, and Chet arranged to sell it

to the Commodore.

Did you get the money from the Commodore?

All I got from the Commodore was lumps.

You stole the cup?

Roger.

You've got to get it back.

I've got it.

Where?

Yeah, take a look.

What's ruined?

Where did you find it?

In a trash basket where it belongs.

To me, three tickets.

He must have suspected something.

He substituted a fake.

That's it.

He knows where the real one is.

Somebody thought that your boyfriend knew.

The one that killed him?

It's the way it looks.

I mean, that's the way it was meant to look.

You know, somebody might get the idea that you've

climbed the genuine when you got it out of that safety deposit

box.

If I did it with legal, and don't you forget it,

then why can't steal from my husband?

Legally, they're one person.

You can't steal from yourself.

That's the law.

I was wrong.

You don't need a lawyer.

What do you help me?

I may hurt you, and it'll cost you anyway.

I know what's good for me.

Money.

Find that cup.

I know what's good for me, too.

So I took her 100 bucks.

Advised that I go home and made for my own humble logic.

They were not only humble, they were crowded.

The man was small, but the gun was enormous.

I said, don't bother to introduce yourself.

Your name is Demetri Theopolis, and you

want this package that I'm carrying.

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And now back to the bathiocup capper.

Tonight's adventure with Sam Spade.

He didn't answer me so I said it again.

Don't bother to introduce yourself.

Your name is Demetri Feeopolis,

and you want this package that I'm carrying.

Of that B.I. Suit, you obtained this from my dear wife.

And how did you find my darling?

Not at the city pond, surprisingly enough.

Oh, you know my dear wife.

How soon you love my darling so well?

More than I have husband.

Is it possible?

I don't know, is it?

I don't know either.

I employ a detective.

Not this one.

I have need.

My poor partner, Mr. Brody.

You are interested.

If you are interesting about who killed your partner,

that's one thing.

But if you want somebody to dig out your family's secrets,

that is nothing.

With me, you are shall we say no place?

But why don't I go to the right to love?

There'll be no trouble, no scandal, no divorcement,

so we know of that B.I. Suit.

Even poor Chester is dead, so he's what one called

ancient history.

While he lived, I knew nothing.

I was blind.

After he died, I see certain things.

Yeah, well, you say that maybe your wife had a hand

and brought his death?

What then?

Well, if it so happens that you cannot separate my darling

from that, do you follow?

Not quite.

I'm not an old man.

But my dear wife is about two and twenty,

and a truly lovely person.

Oh, she's not?

We did not be the part of husbandly wisdom

to have, shall I say, a hold over her?

Yes, she's guilty.

You won't need it.

Good.

Please, I cannot hold the gun and handle my wallet

at the same time.

Please.

No offense.

You keep the gun.

I'll take the wallet.

You trust me.

You will work for me.

I'll work for anybody.

Here I let you cab.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You are so very kind.

Oh, I'm sorry.

All the pocket, yes?

No.

Then I don't hesitate to suit you.

I'll wait a minute.

Yes?

This is the fake.

Are you sure you want this?

I'm sorry.

Yes.

A man has already been killed for it.

Your life's a high price to pay for a fake.

Though fancy ten cups.

You're still thinking of the price?

Brother, I know it.

Then you know I will kill you for it.

OK.

If it means that much to you, I guess it does.

It's all yours.

Thank you.

Please remember your heart.

If you follow me, I will soar the studio.

For my front window, I watched them come out downstairs

and start across the street.

Then it happened.

I saw the gun flash as it fired,

and the amp was sent to the pavement.

The package sort of wafered, I remember to gut it.

I'd be the brand new.

It'd take an all-free pellets in the midsection

from close range.

There's a pulse flooded once at twice,

and then stop.

When I went to look for the package, it wasn't there.

I called homicide and waited until they took him away.

When I told Lieutenant Dundee what I had in mind,

he congratulated me on my brilliant scheme

and told me to go ahead with it.

That was his mistake.

I even talked him out of assigning any of these harness men

to watch my building for the next couple of hours.

That was my mistake.

I went upstairs, opened the bottle and waited

for your knock on my door, Commodore.

Well, sir, a man would almost think he expected us.

Keep a better eye on him, Collins.

Don't let him get to do it.

I said, welcome aboard.

No time for scuttle buttons to spare.

We're bound for Boole Long Bali on the car from the roof,

sailing a dorm.

I want that cup.

But true, the genuine, the Bapho cup.

No more deceptions, no more trickery.

You will have it over without further delay.

Sure.

Be glad to.

Oh, no, not like that.

He will tell Collins where it is toad and Collins

will fetch it above deck.

Why, he will, Barnacle.

The awful has never had his met on a genuine, Vapho cup.

Huge water, sir.

When the ultimate standard in San Francisco,

he didn't have a farthing.

Now he owes half a million dollars.

If he hadn't got the genuine cup,

how could he have borrowed all that money?

Because a bunch of morons like you believed the had it.

That's my pinnacles, man.

You sound as though you believed what you're saying.

Okay, Commodore, you're interested in high finance.

How did I ever trigger make his millions?

Why, matches.

He was the match king, sir.

Matches had nothing to do with it, Commodore.

He started out with 15 million bucks

with a phony government bonds that he printed himself.

Follow?

They weren't even good cannabis,

but he was smart enough not to try and cash them.

He just kept them in a safety deposit box

and borrowed money.

Theopolis used his phony Vapho cup the same way.

Lost my pinnacles, man.

You sound as though you believed what you're saying.

That's a familiar range of what I do.

And I'll tell you why.

He knew that that was the fake in the package

when he held me up for it.

He was willing to risk his own life

to get it out of circulation.

That's my pinnacles.

Theopolis was left without a shot in the locker.

You stared us onto the shows.

We're on our beam in.

It's ain't a mark, Commodore.

You pump a bilge blush.

We better haul our wind.

Yes, indeed.

I'm afraid it's getting all the warm in San Francisco.

Bull long beckom.

You won't make it fast to potato fetch.

What?

The cops are going to want some answers

about a couple of steps you left behind in San Francisco.

I'm glad you reminded me.

Can I plug them?

No, no.

We're taking him with us.

Oh, that's what you think.

Take good easy, mate.

I'm going to hurt him.

I'm a bit...

Yeah.

Oh.

A reek of chloropharm filled the room

in a fist pounder to my belly.

It knocked my wind out at the same time.

I know it's collided with something wet and cold.

I swung out, but didn't connect.

Before I could swing again, the room blurred

and the ceiling light floated down and meet me.

Then, the lights went out altogether.

At first, I couldn't figure it.

It sounded like what a doctor he is through a stethoscope

or maybe an earthquake or maybe shipping.

Which, I believe.

When the lights came out again, I was laying on a bunk

in a stator room.

I staggered across to the washbasin

and spliced water on my face.

Hello, you.

Enoch.

As I hardly live in breathe.

It could get worse.

Yeah, where are we?

Oh, not very far out.

Not past the pherom.

Good. I'm a stall.

And I'll put me off of the pilot.

Oh, no, you're not.

Your passage is paid.

Mine?

It is, eh?

It is.

You know who you are.

Who am I?

Chester Brody.

Then I'm dead.

They'll bury me at sea.

Roger.

Who are you?

I'm your widow.

What's the score with them?

Chester and I booked passage on this ship a week ago.

It was part of the plan.

Chester and the Commodore worked it all out.

Yeah, the cup was there who had been stolen from me on the train.

Yes, but when the Commodore discovered it was a fake, everything fell to pieces.

Yeah, he thought Chester was double crossing it.

They forced Chester to talk.

He told them to meet me.

He still had the genuine Baffiote cup and had hired you for the double crossing.

Maybe he really believed it.

Anyway, they killed me.

Yeah. Well, there's nothing on them yet.

But, uh, you're a material retina suite, aren't you?

At least one of the killings.

That's extra-dietable.

And that dawn's on a male scuttle you, too.

It's already dawned on the men. I'm desperate.

Yes, I know.

For you, you're practically hysterical.

We have to face that.

Yeah, well, give me a couple of face right now.

Where are the Commodore and Clarence?

Up on the bridge.

Good. All you have to do is walk straight out to the captain.

He'll put them under arrest.

Well, that might be a good idea, darling. Only...

Only what?

Only the Commodore is the captain.

That's all right.

Your, uh, salty talk had fooled me, Commodore.

I never dreamed that you were really an old C-dog.

And I do mean dog.

But two can play it that game.

For my own intimate knowledge of C-story magazines,

I realized that all hands would be turned to in the cargo gear.

And the crew quarters would be therefore empty.

And more time, and it takes to tell,

In it and I had fitted ourselves out in dungaries, jumpers,

and watchcaps, and turned to with them.

Get them, come and get them, get them, get them.

Look, the head!

The head!

Oh, you're a shabberer, trust me, Anna!

You too, look alive, still a preventer.

Hold me.

You, uh, Mary Carl.

Commodore, you may recall me as the man who ran for a fire extinguisher

when the boss and yelled, still the preventer.

But experience is the best teacher.

And by the time we hold to it, to put the pilot over the side,

things were in such a state of confusion that you had retreated to your cabin

with a quadruple ration of drogg.

Seizing that moment, I threw in it over the side, yelled,

man over the board, and jumped in after it.

Once, safely aboard the pilot's schooner,

we revealed our true identity, and a married laugh, is enjoyed by all.

It dropped us at the foot of Margaret, and we waved warm farewells

to our erstwhile rescuers, then to the snug haven of my office

and a friendly cup, if you'll pardon the expression,

in the grateful warmth of a gas radiator.

Hmm. Unhealthy.

Who me?

Gas fuel.

Why don't you move into a building with steam heat?

I like this building.

I've been here for a long time.

You don't make much money, do you?

You don't have to rub it in. That's a loving thing.

You happy?

Sure I am.

Well, guess it's all right then.

Hmm.

You know, sweetheart, there's something missing in you.

Oh, what?

I don't know.

Then how do you know?

Forget it.

Well, I guess I'll go.

You mind if I don't see you at the door?

Why should I?

Well.

Hey, you are human.

You know, that wet.

Go ahead and sway that crayon, you want it, but it's better.

You shouldn't have kept it bottled up this long.

What?

It's not what you think.

What is it?

If you...

You're so nice.

I'm nice.

Yeah, but you're no place.

You never will be.

I need a rely.

And that car door is the car door.

It was nice seeing you again, down at the hall.

They tell me you and Clarence are both trying to turn state's evidence.

But according to the late bulletins, Clarence was leading by a neck in the stretch.

Get it?

The DA was afraid that Jerry might not understand you as salty talk.

Period, end of sea chanting.

Oh, say that.

That's what, what, what?

I just can't, I can't.

Oh, why can't you?

Are you feeling okay, F?

Oh, say, you betrayed your trust, you.

Actually, speak to her.

What is it?

What is it?

I betrayed my trust, what?

The criminal run at boot.

Yes.

And you...

You jumped over, boy.

You feel that I was recalcitrant, is that it?

That my asses were not true, blue.

Clear cut, is that it?

Oh, I just go tight this up.

And I'm sure you're going to explain.

I hope you can.

I hope.

Sorry, I can.

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Okay, this is how I hope the selling is all right.

I was so upset.

You hate me then.

Oh no.

No.

I suppose it foolish going long thinking that your ideal doesn't have to be this clear.

Oh, Sam, I just can't.

I just can't imagine.

Don't you think I can explain that?

Oh, yes, I'm sure you can explain.

But you do.

You deserted your post and jump overboard like a thinking rat.

That's right.

Oh, Sam, that's so unlike you.

It was just my chance they were apprehended.

My chance you say.

Who do you think it was that got himself shot out of a torpedo tube in that submarine?

You say?

No, you think I'm crazy?

I said something too radio detectors ever do a suedeod.

I called the harbor patrols single-handed using only one nickel and had them picked up.

Oh, Sam, I wish I'd been there.

Well, it was just a small phone booth.

Besides, if you'd been there, would have been out of order or something.

Oh, Sam, it came through after all.

I want you ashamed that you ever doubted me.

Yes, I am.

There, there, there.

I forgive you.

Good night, Sam.

Good night, sweetheart.

The Adventures of Sam Spade, the National Hammond's famous private detective, are produced and directed by William Spear.

Sam Spade is played by Howard Dove.

Laryntuttle is F.A.

The Adventures of Sam Spade are written for radio by Bob Tallman and Gildow.

Musical direction is by Ludgoskin with score composed by Renee Garrigan.

Join us again next Sunday when author, National Hammond, and producer, William Spear joined forces for another adventure with Sam Spade.

Brought to you by Wildroot Creme Oil.

Again and again, the choice of men who put good grooming first.

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This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.