Rock Hard Denial

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So we're supposed to start the podcast.

Ready, one, two, three. Patriots, gay triads, they triads, black triads, brown triads, triple trumpers, can do what, pumps.

Fuck off! All right, pumps, what have you had it with?

Okay, what I've had it with and I know I've probably said this before because it is one of my biggest habits of all time.

And that is when you're on the phone and you say, okay, well, I need to run or I need to go or I've got to let you go.

And the person says, just one more thing. Just one more thing. Not one more thing. I said I had to go that drives me insane. I think it's controlling.

And because I'm working in therapy on my boundaries, my new thing is I don't have time for one more thing. I've got to let you run.

But can you imagine being that like, I don't know what is it, narcissistic, lack of self awareness, selfish, controlling, what is it?

Well, I have to say sometimes I've been on the phone with you and we're literally in the middle of something and very important points that I have to make.

And I'm only 75% with the points. And then you start this, I got to go and I'm like, no, you're not going. I still have 15 more percent to tell you or 25% to tell you.

And then you hang up. And then I call you right back. And I'm like, no, I wasn't done. So to me, it's about completion.

However, however, the specific type of person that you're talking about, a phone lolligager, that is very real. And that is really problematic. And I have a person in my life that does this to me.

Josh, I was going to say your husband. Yeah. And I'll start, I'll go, well, I'll start closing language at first. Right.

It's more sensitive than I am. And so like, you can go, I got to go and you hang up a cup of coffee, you're such a fucking bitch. I didn't finish my story. And you're like, okay, neither one of us is sensitive about it. I cannot do that with Josh, right.

He's a lot more sensitive, not with other people, only with me. Right. And so I'll start, okay, well, I am. And he goes, oh, are you wanting to get off the phone? I'm near done. I'm just, I'm just gearing up for the conversation.

And I'm just sitting there like, you know, clinching my jaw, cagle, shoulders, core exercise, isometric out the wazoo. And he's really bad about this really bad. And he likes to be on the phone when he drives from point A to point B.

Bill, those full 15 minutes, who call me at the beginning of the drive.

And he wants to keep me on and tell the very end where he can hang up the phone, turn off his car and walk out and walk into his appointment.

And sometimes, like, I'm in, he's, I've been on the phone. So then I'm like into the conversation. He wants to abruptly end it. He's a phone, he's a user. He uses on the phone for entertainment.

You're entertaining him from point A to point B, giving him something to do with this time. Here's, I hate when somebody calls you out on your closing language.

When my kids death to me, when I'm like, okay, right. He's like, oh, so you're done talking to me, your board is me. And I've just gotten to the point now. I'm like, yeah, I am, I am done. We've, we've covered it all.

I go, yeah, we're, we're landing the plane. This is, we're wrapping up. We're done.

You know, I'm, I don't want to hurt your feelings. That's not what this is about. But we need to get, we need to end the phone call now. It's ending now.

And I think that's, if you can't tell your family and your friends that, then who can you tell?

Yeah. And I would even say, I've gotten to where if I'm on the phone with something, placing it to go order. And then they read it back. And then they have more follow questions. I'll just say, I need for this phone call to end right now. I'll be there.

I'll just, I need for this call to end. I found on the phone with an airline. And then at the end, they're like, okay, well, then I'm like, are we done here because I need for this call to end. I need to end right now.

And I'm speaking from the eye and from my knees, ask your therapist about that, the eye and what I need. And what I need.

I need to end to be over.

Yeah, I'll tell you what I've had it with.

Okay. There is a jackhammer.

And you'll probably hear it in the background outside of my apartment. And it is jackhammering and jackhammering and jackhammering and jackhammering.

Do you hear it? Do you hear it?

I didn't hear it this morning. I did hear it a little bit earlier, but not right now.

So it's jackhammering. And I looked out the window. And it's, I mean, they're going to be going for a while. I think you could be a two to three day project.

And right now there's two jackhammers going at one time, which I appreciate that they would double the jackhammer to double the time of demolition.

But I've really had it with this jackhammer.

Yeah, do they stop it at night? Or do you know, yeah, it's today.

No, today's day one, we're on day one of the jackhammer.

And the one thing I'll say about New York is they don't, there's no lolly gagging or pussy fitting like they'll start this thing.

They got two jackhammers going. It'll be wrapped up in probably two to three days.

If this project was going on in Oklahoma, it'd be a couple of weeks because you're going to have.

I'll tell you what, my guy can't get here to Wednesday.

Yes.

And he's got to head out early because this wife is having a little procedure. Nothing life threatening, but just a little procedure.

You know, you know, she's getting more than pap smears.

That's why we do all this painstaking deal. And that's another time where I want to go. I need for this conversation to end.

I want to work out a bit. I want to end the conversation.

Nothing gets me more than unsolicited information about surgeries and medical procedures and medical events, which is really a mind fuck for me considering I'm married to a hypochondriac.

Yeah, but it's not always been a happy hypochondriac. I don't feel like that's around.

I would say the last six, seven years, we've been really committed to the hypochondriac.

Together for like 30.

So, I mean, I think the hypochondria is an offshoot of the sobriety.

Except like focus on it.

Because addicts are so focused on themselves.

Right.

And they're moods. And so the, I, here's the deal. I'm going to go ahead and make the hypothesis now, as I always do.

Hypochondria is a common symptom of sobriety.

Now we'll watch and it will show up in the internet in about a month or two.

Somebody will listen and then still all my scientific ideas and do the study on it.

And then we'll find out that yes, recovering addicts have a higher propensity to hypochondria.

And I'll get all credit for any of it, but that's okay.

I'll keep my ear to the ground in recovery circles.

If I see an up shoot in the hypochondria.

They're there. I'm certain of it.

Because it's just addiction is the most selfish disease on the planet.

Because when they're using, it's all about them using.

And then when they're sober, it's all about their recovery.

It's all about them, them, them, them.

And so the hypochondria just goes straight into that.

It's like perfect because the hypochondria is about them.

It's a common thing.

All right, welcome to I've had it.

America's top DEI podcast.

If you hear the humming in the background, that is a jackhammer.

Not to be confused with.

Like little jackhammer.

Maga men.

I was thinking like a gyrater.

Not to be confused with.

Maga gyrater.

Yeah.

All right, Kylie.

Hi.

Hi.

Um, I've got, well, really quick.

Jan, I just googled if there's a link between hypochondria and addiction.

That was a party.

One hundred percent.

Oh, yeah, there's hits on hits on Google.

I knew it.

This one says it's an illness anxiety in itself.

And often people with hypochondria also suffer from drug addiction.

Wow.

That makes perfect sense.

It's just because the nature of addiction, whether you're in it actively or in recovery,

is a default setting of you always operate from the position of yourself.

Right.

The focus on self is next level from the average non-addicted person.

That's fair.

Yeah.

Okay.

I've got a couple of reviews.

This one is five stars titled Good Trouble.

And JB X writes found this podcast on TikTok one day and never stopped listening.

Not for the sensitive or the titty babies or the easily offended.

Jennifer, I nominate you to be in charge of all interviews of government officials and pumps.

You're in charge of deconstructing as many people as you can.

Love y'all.

Keep up the good fight from JB.

parentheses.

I like it.

JB.

I like it.

I'm sure you do.

You need to get on the deconstructing.

Just get on it.

Maybe I can.

Here's what I need to do.

If I was really, really good at it.

I would start grifting off of it.

That's the next.

Then you're just, then you're just what you were before.

Then just the exact.

The fucking broken person that you were in the exact same way.

But just against what I used to be for.

Right.

It's still the same fucking thing.

Yeah, but the grifting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

This one is five stars titled mega retail Bible something.

I wish I would have had the foresight back in the day to fleece these fools.

Create my own religion and broadcast it.

I'm an atheist, but I'm amazed by the soft-minded people.

And thankfully, pumps got out and is standing up to her mom.

Yeah.

Finally.

Finally.

How's it going?

How's it going with.

I haven't talked to her.

I keep meeting to call her and bring up Easter.

But I just haven't.

Then it yet.

But I'll do it this week.

I'll have a full report next week.

You got, I mean, the listener is making a.

It's, it's a big development.

Yeah.

It is.

And, and really, I just.

I don't think that either one of us can properly articulate.

How terrified of my mother.

I was as an adult.

No, I don't with her.

I don't think anybody that's listening to this can understand.

Like the iron fist, the authoritarian.

Nature.

Like her mother would walk into her house.

She was married with children.

And then she walked into her house.

Uninvited and announced.

Open up her mail.

Yes.

Go through her credit card bills.

Bills and ask her about her spending.

And she's 40.

40, 40.

And she will never stand up to her and go get your fucking pause.

Off of my bills.

It's none of your fucking business.

I don't live with you anymore.

Like if my parents did some shit like the mega.

It's not your business.

Like my dad is a biggest.

You're going to be a financial venture on the planet.

I mean, like I remember growing up,

we would go to 7 11 after school,

and we'd go in and my dad would grab a Pepsi.

And my brother and sister and I would grab a coke.

And he'd go,

we almost been making more money than I make,

because Pepsi's five cents cheaper.

We all just like roller eyes and walk our coke cans back to the seven 11 refrigerator,

and then go get a Pepsi because it's five cents cheaper.

And, but if my dad got in, and he was a strict,

he was a pretty strict father,

but he very much is about his,

his children being autonomous adults,

and minding his own business.

If he ever fucking opened up,

I'd be like, get your fucking nosy ass out of my house.

Pumps, you guys, the fear this woman has,

like, you've never seen,

I've never seen anybody as scared as their parents,

not even a child as scared of their parent

as you are of your mother ever.

I've never seen anything like it.

I don't know.

So much better than that.

No, the picture cannot be painted enough of how.

So like the baby steps I've taken,

and some have been big steps,

but I mean, it's still,

it probably on her deathbed,

I'll still be trying to set boundaries and stuff.

I think, yeah, I think probably when she's in the grave,

it's something that you'll still probably,

you're getting some like, is she gonna know?

Is she gonna find out?

You know, I don't do that.

I think the real nation on it is,

it's tense better.

It's tense better, believe it or not.

Really, I'm really proud of you because that's,

that was such a, like a dark passenger,

everywhere we went was like,

and what I really hated it for you

is the double life that you had to live.

You had to be one person who you weren't for her.

Yep, like this character,

and then you got to be your real person,

which kind of set you up for a lot of bad stuff, sadly.

Yeah, and I was just thinking today,

my older dog's having some health problems,

so he's not going to school,

so I walked him and I was thinking on my walk.

I was like the denial, living in denial

and being able to deny yourself things,

like that's generational in my family too.

If you don't want to know about it,

it just doesn't exist.

Like, I know that that, you know,

the sweep it under the rug and all that

is really strong in my family origin.

God, you would think with all the therapy family of origin

would roll off the table.

It really is.

I'll give an anecdotal story.

Okay.

So Angie's ex had a proclivity for sexual entertainers

and workers, and everybody knew it.

It was a well-known, discussed thing,

and he would host these golf tournaments

with sex workers, present, and performing both dances

and sex acts.

And I wanted to, Angie and I didn't know each other very well,

but we're starting to know each other more

in the golf tournament,

knowing each other more in the golf tournament

was going on.

And I said, hey, I've heard kind of some ad stuff

about that tournament, Angie, because I was so shocked

because she's like, Miss, you need to go to Bible study

with me and, you know, she's making cookies

and like all this shit.

And it's like, it's like June Cleaver's shit

and then her husband, his license plate, said spanky,

S-P-A-N-K-Y.

And he hosted these sex-fueled golf tournaments, right?

And they were no tourists, everybody knew about them.

So I said to her, I go, hey, I mean, how,

getting to know you, like, you know, the Bible study

and all this shit that you do,

and how do you feel about your husband's golfers?

I don't want to know, I don't need to know.

I don't want to know one thing about it.

I don't want to know one thing.

I remember I was like, that's weird.

That doesn't make it not happen.

Look, we can genuinely, like, that doesn't mean

that he's like, I can't help her.

And so I was, we were like in the dating phase

of our friendship, so I was kind of like, okay.

Okay.

Then, which he finds out,

conclusively, but he does this extracurricular activities

with sex workers.

She looks at me and she's like, I had no idea.

I'm like, you both know, what was the license plate

that says spanky or the sex-filled golf tournament?

And then she was like, that fucking serious.

She was definitely like, of course you knew.

Of course you knew.

This is willful denial, like it didn't fit in it.

But my God, how much you've grown.

I'm wondering if the willful denial,

maybe instead of denial, the blanket statement

I made earlier about being in my genera,

it's willful denial.

It's willful.

It's willful.

It's like, if I go to a polygraph and true serum,

there's your husband, fat cookers.

And you said, no, you would have failed it.

You would have 100% failed it because you knew,

because you got super defensive.

I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know.

Right.

That's a reaction.

There's a component in that.

I really, I mean, and I'm not trying to bring

everything back to religion, I know.

But there's a part of that I feel like

is linked to the super religious part of my life.

Like you only believe what you want to believe,

and then you deny the existence of the rest.

And so I feel like, I don't know to what level,

but to me, that's interconnected.

So it brings me to my point of willful denial.

It was totally willful.

Right, right.

Totally willful.

Yeah, I know.

That's pretty good.

But it's in our book, guys.

I'm not outing this stuff like she's written about this.

So it's in our book, you would you can buy

speaking of grifting.

Life is a lazy susan of shit sandwiches

where she talks about spanky.

I can crack with hikers.

I do think, I don't think that license plate.

So you have to listen to the podcast

and read the book to get all the details.

It's a license plate.

Is that not in the book?

Spanky?

I think it's in there.

There it is.

Okay.

Can I ask what, why spanky?

Well, that is good.

That, but like, why I think I was told

is completely different.

And he just put it on his license plate.

Yes, this is out.

He drove to the mega church.

Yeah, drove to the mega church.

With the family and the kids.

And the license plate said spanky.

And I hate personalized tags.

I just, I just, I'm so much.

Let me just tell you, this is a true story, Kylie.

We would sit in the mega church.

And he would tell me so and so fucking around

on his wife, so and so fucking around on her husband.

He would go through all of the congregants.

And he was the worst offender by far.

Combine all of their balances in a, in a little jar.

And his was so much bigger.

But that kind, I mean, that's the kind of shit

that was happening.

I think that's really common though, Pumps.

I think that instance where you have the white picket fence

forward facing, we're not going to tell,

we're not going to speak truths.

We're going to deny reality.

And we're going to project to the Joneses

that we are this godly or this perfect or whatever family.

I think it's really common, especially in white suburbia.

And then behind the scenes, you got a little spanker.

You got a little crack.

You got a spanker crack.

You got a united shamingist.

People are broken.

People are broken.

And we project that we have to, we have this stupid give a shit

that we care what other people think of our families

instead of really living and being with our families.

So some people, I think, by hand to this,

well, everybody thinks we're a nice family instead

of really being and enjoying and not giving a fuck

what anybody else thinks, but literally enjoying

and being a nice family.

And what other families think of your family

is none of your fucking business.

That's their business.

But I think so many Americans, white suburban, upper middle class,

get caught up into this.

If we have the appearance of being a good family,

then therefore we are a good family.

And it's bullshit.

It's just superficial bullshit.

No, I completely agree.

And that was one thing that really,

like I tried to pay it forward.

People would, that I really didn't even know that well,

would come and talk about what was going on in their mergers

because they knew A, there was no way I could possibly

be judgmental based on what my life was like.

And so it made, they had somebody to talk to.

And that really, like you pay, you gave that to me,

a congegment free zone of, let's just talk about it

and be real.

And so that was, that is one of the gifts

in going through all this thing is to be able to be there

for another person.

Yeah, totally, totally.

Because when that veneer is broken,

that oh my god, it's not perfect.

Because what you're doing with that veneer,

you're living in judgment.

That means you're judging everybody else

by the veneer of their family.

And once that veneer is broken,

then you need to go to somebody that's judgment free.

That's like, like, man, we're all fucking broken.

Right.

I always think when I drive through like nice neighborhoods,

I always think I have every single one of these doors

are just secrets.

And, and listen, I think generally people can be happy.

I think that mega church culture,

white upper middle class mega church culture

is a really specific, broken culture.

These are the people that turn out

and droves to vote for to triple Trump.

And I think they have,

there's a combination of a culty religion,

evangelical Christianity, combined with like this capitalism,

combined with appearance culture, you know,

like if we look good and if we do matching Christmas,

pajama pictures, then we're gonna

are in family, you know, and it's just, it's bullshit.

The real moments are the moments that aren't on Instagram.

The real moments are the moments that you have.

Like, I can tell that our family's been

through so much, you guys are talking about pumps,

but Josh and I have been through so fucking much.

And just this past spring break,

the whole, the kids, everybody was here.

And I called Josh and I go,

we did take one family photo.

And I thought, you know what?

That means we're living, we're enjoying each other.

There was not a moment where we thought,

oh my God, we better look like we're the happy family.

Not that I wish we had the family photo, but it's like,

we had one of the best spring breaks ever.

We were all in New York and it was so much fun.

The weather was like glorious two or three days

and we had the best time.

And we didn't have to do any, I realized like,

we didn't take one fucking photo of all of us together.

And then I realized, okay, that's really great.

That's gross, like who gives a shit?

Because what we felt, what we experienced is it's in here.

Yeah, in the heart, because of,

okay, I've had it, I've had it with people

using religion as a hall pass to control

everyone else's lives.

I've had it with politicians

pretending the constitution is optional

when it comes to church and state.

The first amendment is actually very clear.

The government does not get to pick a religion

or force one on the rest of us period,

but right now Christian nationalists are trying

to shove their beliefs into public schools, into laws,

into courts, and we're not doing this.

The freedom from religion foundation

is one of the few groups actually fighting back.

They take these cases on, they enforce the constitution

and they protect everyone's freedom of conscience,

not just one groups.

This isn't anti-religion, it's anti-forced religion.

If you're also done with this nonsense, join them.

Visit ffrf.us slash fight

or text the word fight to learn more and join.

Text fight to 511, 511 and help protect a country

that belongs to all of us.

Because honestly enough is enough.

Go to ffrf.us slash fight

or text fight to 511, 511.

Message and data rates may apply.

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Okay, so moving along, oh my God, we have a story,

a news story that I want to share with everybody

that I'm completely obsessed with.

Kylie Pup, this said, seven dogs were stolen from their owners

in China and they've gone viral after escaping

from an illegal transport truck and making their way home.

They traveled around 17 kilometers together led by a corgi

across highways and fields now safely back with their respective owners.

Pop up the video.

Okay, so these dogs all live in the same neighborhood

and they all hang out together because everybody knows

that dogs are pack animals.

So here are these seven dogs, they're all BFFs,

the German Shepherd is injured.

So they make a wall around the German Shepherd

because when they jumped out of the truck

from the thieves that were taking them to the dog meat market.

Is that what it is?

Yes, they escaped in the back of the truck

and then one of them chewed and then allowed the gate to open.

They all escaped.

The German Shepherd gets injured, put this back up.

So they're all play that video again.

So they're all, they're all hovered around.

And the fucking corgi is the ringleader

and that little corgi with those little short legs.

Yeah, that's funny.

And then the whole way, look at that.

His name translated from Chinese to English is Big fat.

Big fat.

I've been down the rabbit.

Big fat.

This is the type of leadership this world fucking needs right now.

Big fat takes care of the injured and the sick.

And he doesn't have little man, short man syndrome,

like Mark Wayne Mullin, like Stephen Miller.

He doesn't have teeny weeny syndrome.

He's a dog with like two inch long legs.

And it said, you know what?

I'm going to be the fucking leader today.

I'm going to march that sick, crippled German Shepherd home.

And I'm not going to leave one person behind.

We're not leaving the German Shepherd one.

Everybody's going to make it home because we're not going to be dog meat today

and pop up these photos of these dogs.

Here they are.

So people were filming them.

And so that little corgi.

So here's what I start thinking about because everything's so

big right now, right?

It's like, who's our corgi?

Who is our corgi that is going to lead us out of this?

Like that little corgi.

Just said, you know what?

I'm going to put myself in a leadership position.

I'm going to march all of our asses home.

My name is big fat, the corgi.

I'm not fucking with anybody.

I'm going to make sure this German Shepherd gets home,

gets medical care.

We're not going to be dog meat.

Who's the corgi?

Who is our corgi?

I'm really spracking my brain now that you said that.

I can't think of one person.

I can't think of one either.

I mean, in my mind, it has to be a woman.

Kind of.

I don't know.

I mean, I would love for it to be a woman.

Listen, I take a dead pig right now.

If the dead pig had the leadership skills of big fat, the corgi.

Yeah.

Fuck, we take the fucking corgi.

We take big fat over here.

Lead us out.

I would, I would, I mean.

Just these dogs.

Fucking corgi.

Showing more leadership than any fucking American politician right now.

Look at that.

Look at big fat.

Look at big fat.

Look at the compassion, the leadership, the commitment, the dedication.

Pack leader.

Where are you, fucking Hawkees and chuckles?

Taking a lesson from big fat.

Big fat, the corgi knows what to do.

I'm telling you know what comes to me.

A certain extent of business.

I love it.

All right.

What else, Kylie?

Okay, we have another story.

The headline, the headline.

A professional corn hair.

I'm sorry, a professional corn hole player.

With no arms and legs has been accused of murder in Charles County.

And Bridget on Twitter says, am I having a stroke?

actually have the video of the news report and honestly it just gets more

confusing as you learn more facts. So we're going to play here.

Now to a bizarre story out of Charles County police now investigating after

a professional cornhole player with no hands and no legs is accused of firing

a deadly shot all while driving. We want to get out to our home a bash. She is

live in La Plata this evening with more details. Homa.

Angie bizarre to say the least, but before we get any further into this story,

I just want to try to answer the question that so many people have right now.

How did someone with no arms, no hands, manage to fire a gun and allow someone?

This early in the investigation, but there is no evidence at this point to

suggest anybody else was involved in the shooting and that he acted alone on

this. Now watch closely. You're looking at the man accused of murder in this

case video from his TikTok page titled no hands, no feet shooting nine

millimeter handgun. Okay, so and he went on to shoot a passenger in his car.

I did not ever learn how he drove the car and held the gun.

I was going to say you can have hand controls, but that wouldn't fix the whole

problem. I think for the leg, there's probably like an extension type.

Yeah, right. And then we just saw a video of him shooting again and clearly he's a

good aim because he's a cornhole champion despite being a quadriplegic. And so it's

a really fascinating story coming out of the United States where again, we go

back to the gun problem. The people with no arms and no legs can kill people

with guns. Yeah, that's how fucked up America is that even a fucking quadriplegic can

commit murder. That's how good Americans are with guns, which was interesting about

the Olympics because I guess there was like a shooting thing and like we lost real

like a shooting in the Olympics. Yeah, and I'm like, we lost like shouldn't we win

gold, gold, gold, gold, gold for any sort of gun shooting thing. Yeah, they're clean

country. We lost. I don't think I didn't know if we meddled. Really? Yeah, can

he look that up? Yeah, I mean, I would say one of the better things I've heard. But

yeah, that's crazy about the quadriplegic. It's sad too, because he went super viral

when he was in that court. The cornhole with his mouth. I mean, no, he holds it with

his two hands it or two. Yeah, yeah. And he went super viral for it. And he was kind

of a star. So it's sad to see that he's driving and shooting again with no fingers. I will

say takes a lot of coordination that I certainly don't have. I can barely drive. Oh, which

I have an update for all of the people. Few few weeks ago, I was like, this guy honked

at me for a mile. I fucking had it with honkers. I don't know if you remember that since

then I have noticed I'm getting honked at a lot. So I must be the common denominator.

So I'm going to take that hat it back because clearly I am doing something that I am unaware

of that is irritating the fuck out of people. And so I've really been trying to be more

diligent. But like last week, it was like three different days in a row that I did something

that somebody honked. So I've written in a car with you. And when you propose this story,

I remember saying, what did you do? And you swore up and down, but I've written in a car

with you and you're on your phone and I know you're about to say, oh my god, I'm trying

to be better. But you when your version of being better is just responding quicker to

text. It's not not texting. Yeah, no, it's bad. But no, I mean, seriously, I've been in

the car with you. You're weaving like a dream. I'm like, I don't want to stay in my

life. I'm miracle that we're live. Yeah. But so I, but in this situation, like whatever

I'm doing, I'm not aware of it. So I'm trying to be super aware because I am doing something

that is worth note for a lot of other drivers.

All right, Jen, on the medals, yeah, we won one gold three silver one bronze one gold.

Okay. So that's better than what I thought. I think it should have been I mean, considering

the gun issue that we have here, it should have been a clean, sweet gold, gold, gold.

Yeah. All right. I've got some voice. We have voice members. Okay. Let's do this.

Okay. Up first, we've got Molly and Abe, I'm sick. I think this is Molly. I'm coming

out from DC and I just have to tell you about something that I have absolutely had it

with this week. And that is people not taking the fucking stairs. It's outrageous. It is

an epidemic. I live in a apartment building and I live on a higher floor. And so obviously

we have an elevator and people who live on the second and the third floor are taken

the elevator. What's up with that? Take the fucking stairs. We are all trying to get out

of the building a timely manner. When we are going to work, we are all trying to get

back up to our apartments in a timely manner. When we are done with work for the day, stop

making us wait. So you can get off at the second and third floor. Take the stairs. It's

ridiculous. It's an epidemic. We need to stop doing this. There used to be a sign in every

apartment building. The elevator is only for those of people who live on the upper floors

of the building. If you live below the third floor, take the stairs. The elevator is not

for you unless you are carrying something very heavy or elderly, etc. There are exceptions.

We get it. But as a general rule, the elevator is not for folks who live below the second

for the third floor. I think that's a great rule. I completely agree. We were just talking

about this Kylie and Anna and I were at our New York, our New New York Recording Studio

getting it all set up. We're on the top floor of the building. Anna was complaining that

there were a lot of tenants on the second, third floor that were taking the elevator. In

this building, there's a beautiful staircase. It's not like a fire exes staircase. It's

like a gorgeous wide, long slope. It's not super vertical. I agree. I think you've got

to take those stairs. You cannot bogart the elevator for one to two floors. It's embarrassing

that you can't get your fat ass up a lot of stairs. I mean, it just is. In fact, when I have a doctor

that's on like the fifth floor, and I've stopped on every floor, like people going up from like

two to three, like people that work in the building. So, I mean, this was like a year ago. I go,

I'm trying to go down the stairs. I go down the doors locked. So then I have to go back. I was

embarrassed to go down one floor. I was like felt like you're an embarrassment to yourself that

you're fat ass can't take one floor and people do it all the fucking time.

So speaking of like she said that you should put a note in an elevator. I think you should

talk about this. So I was in Los Angeles two or three weeks ago, and I had to go meet with this guy.

It is office and attorney. And I said, where's the restroom? He told me it was like a shared

restroom in a hallway. And when I got to the door, there was a printed sign on the door that said,

please clean up. After yourself, please make sure all toilet paper is flushed. Any extra special

things in the toilet are wiped downed and or flush and everything is removed from the floor.

This was on the the door entering the bathroom. And I was like, I wonder if they've listened to our

podcast because we've talked about this a lot, right? So then I go in the bathroom and I look

pick my stall on the outside the same sign on the inside the exact same sign. And I'm talking

what's so hilarious about the sign is you can tell the person who wrote it. I don't know what she

walked into, but it must have been a bad, really bad scene because it's like four

four thoughts spaced out from one another, right? And you can tell with each one she just gets a

little bit more unhinged. And then after I, I, I be and I see the sign and then I flush,

spec'd everything and like, we're all good here. I go out to the sink and there's four more of these

signs up. And it's like, it's literally like, please make sure that you flush the toilet.

If something doesn't go up down all the way, make sure you double flush it. If there is

peer, anything on top of the toilet seat, make sure you wipe that down. Make sure you keep this

bathroom the way you would want to find it. And then the last one is fine. If there's an extra

something special rubbed on the side of the toilet, go ahead and give that a wipe as well.

Thank you. We all need to work together to keep these restrooms clean. So here's this thing.

Here's what's so fucking hilarious about all this, right? You would think that there's probably

a hundred people using these restrooms, right? There's only two offices on this floor.

So yes, the people that I was visiting, there's maybe five people that work there. It's not a

huge building. On the opposite side of the restrooms and the elevators is another building,

which is a five or six people. So then you start, my mind started going, okay, so I got that

perceptionist. Right. Who is it? That I saw. And then I wonder if this is like somebody

didn't flush a tampon or had diarrhea. And there was, I know this is graphic to think about you

guys, but we've all walked into situations where we see stuff where people have not taken the restroom

experience over the goddamn finish line. And this woman who made these signs and taped it up,

I thought, this woman is a fucking hero. She made sure there's no fucking way that somebody could

walk out of that restroom and say, I didn't see the sign because they're on the front of the door.

I'm back there. They were above the track. You know, there's a trash can in this stall. Yeah,

like Maxi Pedser. It was above that. It was behind the flush. They were everywhere. So in my mind,

I'm like, okay, whoever the offender is, it's happened multiple times. Right. It's not a one-off.

Right. And wondering if the person claims that like, well, I didn't know. I didn't see or

I thought that house, you know, the janitor's camera or something. But it was so juicy. I wish

nobody had taken a picture of the sign. I want to know, like, you know, if somebody went to all the

trouble to post all those signs, I just feel like that person probably made a plea. Like,

send an inner office memo or, you know, mentioned it, like, we need to clean up after ourselves and

did it. And she was just ignored and ignored desperation. And she's just like, fuck it.

But I kind of do want to know what the scoop was. And I would want to know who the offender was.

I would go exactly to the person I thought wrote the email and I would say, what happened?

Yeah. And she knows who it is. Oh, she is. I guarantee you that after you write, after you

escalate and you print out about 20 copies of these instructions for people for grown fucking adults

to go into the bathroom and clean up after themselves. And you have about five different points that

you're making in your memo that you've taped up 20 different copies of in a three-stall bathroom

or three-stalls total. It's not a big bathroom. So you have them taped up everywhere in there.

The type of person that did this got the tape printed it, stormed in there with the tape taped it up.

Right. That's a person that's going to have their beat on the hallway.

Like, their eyes are going to be constantly on the hall. I wouldn't even be surprised if there was

some sort of like sensor where she knew if somebody entered the bathroom that there's pre-inspections

of what a person goes in. And then there's post inspections. And I would even suspect that outside

of the signage that I saw, this is just me deducing here. I would imagine that there was probably

at some point a photograph of something very unsightly. And she did an all-points bulletin to

everybody in the feckin building, not just floor nine. I bet she thought every mother feckers

getting this, every single person in this building gets this memo. I just went into the bathroom on

floor nine. And this is what I saw. It's got a bloody Sunday. You need to make sure you're wiping,

you're going to make sure you're fleshing, you're making sure you're picking up. And you know,

then there was probably a lot of office friction. Yeah. And she has graduated to the signage,

but I don't think it's over yet. No. We're anywhere near the end of this. I'll do a little follow-up

on this. I think this woman was pushed so far. I think she just abused victim. Right. I mean,

she's just like, I'm fucking done. It would not surprise me if this part, she followed this

person into the bathroom and just stood like, just stood in the bathroom. Just like, you want to go

down. We're fucking going down. I just think there's a lot of people that that go into the restroom.

And I will not buy that people just have no self-awareness about their piss or shit. I'm just

not buying that. It's just something that you need to make sure is completely sent down.

And there's no evidence of that. When you leave the space, not on the toilet seat, not on the floor,

not anywhere, you need to fucking clean up after yourself. And so I think some of these people are

just so entitled, so messy and so mega that they just think they can piss and shit all over the

place and triple Trump. And somebody's going to come clean it up. And I think this woman had

had it. I think she's an abuse victim. And if she's in a support group, I support her.

Support the signage. I supported the signage. I got the biggest kick out of it. I was like,

oh, she is pissed. She's not going to take it anymore. She saw some bad things. She saw bad things.

And we can all identify. Remember, we had that show one time and we went in and there was a

bathroom that was all. I mean, it was like, there's just nothing worse. It's just an offensive.

That's just something that shouldn't be public consumption. That's why the bathroom is private.

All right, Kylie, who's next? Okay, next we've got Alex.

Hey ladies, Gatriot clocking in here from Nashville, blue dot in red state. You guys are my

favorite. It listened to you every day. Seriously, I'm going to see you in Atlanta.

Cannot wait. But basically what I've had it with are all of these DL drama queen,

Republican, Congress people, especially here in Tennessee. We recently had Andy Ogles

star an investigation into the NFL and bad bunny because he maybe was a little bit turned on,

missing bad bunny. And his all white Zara outfit and holding a football and spreading a good

message, I don't know. But he's just turned on by that and it's ruining everyone else's lives.

They're trying to turn over same sex marriage here. They are just heinous. They have the worst

style and martial blackburn too. I mean, I'm sure there's something up with her, but she has zero gay

people around her just by the looks of her hair. But I'm just thinking these people being so suppressed

in ruining life. Like get that pride flag out, come to the stone wall, come march at pride. I don't

give a fuck. Just stop ruining my life. Thank you. Love you guys.

I mean, it's just it is such a great point and we can't speak about it enough that in all it's

2026 and there are a lot of things that we can have government do like services like the

sledgehammer going out here. That's the government fixing some probably fucking broken sidewalk

and making the place better. But the Republicans, the mega Republicans are hyper consumed with sex.

They talk about sex, particularly gay sex. They talk about trans people, engender, nonstop. When

none of it, zero percent of it affects their pathetic cracker as dirty bathroom lives. None of it

affects it. And the obsession that people in red states have with sex is so fucking weird.

I'll never quit talking about it. I firmly believe that there is a huge deal demon queen problem

with a lot of maggot leaders right now. I also think a lot of them have been aroused by the

sight of a rock hard penis while watching porn. And they feel some sort of gainess about that.

And instead of just kind of lost kind of fucked up. Who knew? I had a little bit of buy in me and

move something with their life. Then they want to terrorize everybody. And in mega is a death cult.

They are a party that wants to terrorize people. They are emotional and psychological terrorists.

Then their terrorism has led to now shooting people, shooting a mother with a lab in the back of a

car, calling her a fucking bitch. It's just, I mean, it's just gross. The hatred that these people have

because they can't be who they want to be or because they're so abused or broken. Just

fucking grow up. Everybody's had to go to fucking therapy, which talked about pumps journey.

I've been to fucking therapy, fucking grow up and let people be who they want to be for fuck's

sake. Somebody being gay is not about you, right? The narcissism that these people have is unbelievable.

It's unbelievable. Somebody being gay or straight or by or trans or gender fluid or using a pronoun

has fucking nothing to do with you. Nothing. Just like you being a psychotic triple-trumper freak show.

And that's nothing to do with me. I don't identify with you. I don't take ownership in that.

I'm not going to offer you an off ramp. You can go triple-trump in your fucking dump truck and

read Leviticus to each other because I want nothing to do with your dipshit low IQ teeny winy brain.

Nothing. Zero. 100% right? I coast on everything you just said. And I think if I'm not mistaken,

Tennessee, the state house or Senate, and maybe they did pass it where you can marry at 12

or they were trying to pass it. Like these people want to be the worst kind of people

and tell everybody else how to live their lives. They want to say how great they are and their

family values. At the same time, they don't give a fuck what is actually happening to people

and suffering. And it is unbelievable to me yet very believable. I feel like people's rights have

gone so far backward like from the difference between like 2010 or like let's say 2000 to 2010.

That was a huge like we're going backwards. I mean we are the clock is going backwards and that's

why we have to be loud and proud. Yeah. And the thing that really irritates me a lot about

the white people that the suburban white people I was speaking about earlier that try to have the

perfect family image. They in that image a lot of people that I know particularly in Oklahoma will

try to play both sides. They'll play the oh we're cool. We've got gay friends and you know we

we're independence. We're moderates. We're we're socially liberal and fiscally conservative.

And they're fucking not. It's a total lie. They want the appearance of being cool and open

minded but deep down they're not deep down. Trump and that movement speaks to an inner hatred in

them and an inferiority that they have that they try to reconcile with the voting booth by

demeaning and further marginalizing people. And it is willful. It is willful cruelty. And I just

am not one of these people that is going to let the party of personal accountability, personal

responsibility. I'm not going to let those people off the fucking hook. I'm not. There's no

offer him for you to come play in my sandbox. I'm not going to throw give you a trophy or throw

a parade for you because you were able to see that evil is evil and that a liar is a liar

and that a man who incited an insurrection is a fucking criminal. A man that was found guilty

is a fucking criminal. I just I'm sorry. I'm just not at 51 years old. Can I sit and go oh my

god I'm so sorry you were conned. Shut the fuck up. I'm sorry you're a fucking dumbass stupid

moron that willfully chose willfully chose this because the appetite for cruelty in these people

is insatiable until the cruelty affects them or somebody that's genetically connected to them.

Other than that then I give a fuck about anybody. So fuck the offering. I'm so tired of hearing

we got to offer these people an offer them. They're never going to fucking vote for Democrats. You

think they're going to vote for gay people or gay rights. People won't even vote for their own

fucking kids. Republicans have gay kids do not vote for their fucking kids. And so I'm supposed to

think that there's some offering that we're supposed to offer them a mount. I'm not doing it.

They can go to the Facebook doctors and the Facebook therapists. I'm not fucking doing it.

I'm not. Now I agree and I was you know it's I feel like it's made me

like mad mad like okay you you wanted this you got it yesterday. I went to buy bread. I mean

I was buying other stuff but I there was a loaf of bread that was nine dollars and we're talking

basic just basic white bread was nine dollars and 25 cents. I didn't buy it but it was for sale

but I thought you want one a trump because he's so good with the economy. You were so worried

about grocery prices. It was never about that. Right like here's your nine dollar loaf of bread

shove it so far up your ass like you wanted it you got it and so part of me was like

there was a there was just a little fraction of like that I got a little joy that somebody

was gonna have to pay nine dollars that voted for Trump and then I just like you're a terrible

person like it's still terrible. Yeah and that's the part where that's where you have to be cautious

because I don't want to give these people an offering but I want them to have fucking health care.

I want them to have affordable groceries. I want them to have universal health care. I want

their gay kids to live in a place where they're equal. I want their potential future trans

grandchildren to be treated equally and humanely under the eyes of the law. I do not want these

people to suffer. However, I do not want them to fucking play in my sandbox because to quote

Kendrick Lamar they not like us. I am not like you. I am not like those people. I get no joy

knowing that you're suffering at your own fucking ignorance. But I do not wish to hang out

or play with people like this. Like I physically and Pumps can attest this. I physically do not

like being around evangelical mega people. And Pumps will tell you. I mean I get like

I mean I can't do it. I am I am constitutionally incapable of being morally duplicitous. It is

not something I am able to do. My conviction in universal human rights is so strong that I cannot

feign like a lot of kindness around a big group of white evangelical triple trumpers. I can't

because I just sit there and think you're all fucking freaks. You're hateful. You can smile and

go, oh my god. I hate you. I wish. All you want to ask me to fucking cram it up your ass.

You know, like I know when I'm not here, you're like she's a fucking crazy communist liberal.

I fucking know it. Just say to my face, at least that kind of respect you, but don't act like

we're friends. Don't like like we share anything in common because we fucking don't. We have zero

in common. We'll never have anything in common ever. And I take so much pride in being a completely

different fucking person than you are and that I don't have to fake. I don't have to be a fake

fucking phony person and go through life with a veneer and fainting shit. I just, I'm not, I'm not

cut out for that. And after 11, 12 years of dump truck, it's my, it's worse. I'm like fucking hell

on wheels. So I haven't moved to New York. I couldn't fucking take it anymore. It's fucking

Bible numbers. I seriously can't. It's just too much. It's more than I can take. Now, I mean,

you're 100% right. But I think that your strengths and that, I know that like when I'm around you,

it makes me more conscious to set boundaries. So there's, I think it's good because then it helps

me see where I need to have more conviction and stand at. I mean, it's like leadership starts

at the top. You're like the corgi. You know what I mean? Like seeing your conviction,

you know, it's like a thousand little paper cuts over 20 years. Like you stick with something,

you think it, it makes you stronger. It makes you think it changes behavior. So I appreciate that

in you. I, I think it's a very admirable quality. Thank you. Thank you very much for that.

I believe did we only do one voice memo? No, we did too. We did. We had the gay triad and then

the elevator. Okay. So that's good. All right. Kylie, what about you? You offering an offering

for triple trimmers? I'm not. And umpsa's right. Everyone can take a lesson from Big Fat,

Jennifer Welch, the big, big corgi. Yep. And learn how to be pretty blunt with these people.

You have really good boundaries set, Jen. Thank you. You do. Thank you. I, uh, I think that my time

trying to fit in with a bunch of phony, uh, peers of mine that claim to be, you know,

so loving and Christlike and all of this shit in high school in junior high. And they were all just,

I mean, just if I can broken like everybody else is, but evangelical seem to be extra broken.

If you get my drift, as the aforementioned, um, crack and spanky situation when pumps was an

evangelical, she fit into my script like my idea that I had about evangelicals, pumps, I was like,

of course he fucks hookers. Of course he's smoking crack with hookers in his license places.

And yeah, I'm not an evangelical friend since fucking high school, because there's such hypocrites.

And then the one friend evangelical bibles up in an adult husband is a crack hooker,

fucker, smoker, or serious. Of course it was like right on script, you know, but anyway,

but in between that time, I hung out and I still have like the best gay friends, my planet.

And in the 90s, I had just when I went to the English vocal helmet, just a gaggle of gays.

And the way the evangelicals treat gay people and the way their families treated them, it just

left a huge impression on me. And it was something that it was my mother was always so gracious

and kind and no judgment. She always would say really common sense stuff like, well,

Darlin, who in their right mind would choose to be gay in the middle of the Bible belt.

And it was just common sense stuff. And she was like, you know, these people are fucking nuts

in their mean and they use religion to justify being mean. So that was like the thing that I was

indoctrinated in common sense, radical exception, radical empathy. And so when I see it in when I see

these people doing it, picking on gay people, it makes me fucking mad. And I'm just, I'm a big fat

corgi. Call me. How about big corgi? I'll be big fat. I love that corgi.

Yes, the ears are gray. I'm gonna corgi. I want a corgi. I mean, I think I'll always have

grinsies that I flirted with corgis. You did? Yeah, I flirted because I like a little short leg.

And corgis, when they walk, they're best. You're great at this. I mean, yeah. And it's like,

you're a big, fine woman. Won't you back? I stand in Manhattan and the corgis. And I just, I

immediately that song back that thing that just goes and I have it on all day because I've seen

some corgis ass just sashing and shunting from side to side. And I love it. I love, I love that

corgi. And I love the LGBTQ plus community. And I love everybody who stands for universal human rights.

And I fucking hate the triple Trumpers. You're not getting an offer him. You can go fucking

join your own little therapy group, go deprogram yourselves, do some atonement. Then you have to take

a polygraph and true serum for me to even remotely consider an off ramp. And then we'll put you

on deck before you get to the ramp. I do think this, and this is just based, this is what I think.

Because I have been a Republican evangelical, I will offer an off ramp, but your actions and your

words have to match. You have to stand up and admit that you were wrong. And not just words,

but act that way too. And they have to pay you. Is that right? And then I'm going to have a

graph here with that. And I'm going to, and my Vinmo is, yeah, I want, I let you do that.

And then I'll be the final, I'll be Judge Judy. Yeah, you can do the corgi. No, what about the

people? What about the, like, I'll be Douglas Wellan, I'll be Douglas Wellan of the People's Court,

Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun,

Judge Judy, like, here's the action, then you can make a judgment on,

do you dunk them or not? Remember when you threw the ball and you hit the target and the person

dropped in the water? No, don't take. Is that what that was called? It's been a minute.

Here's the deal. Here's the deal. There's like, I'm trying to talk to people less. I'm trying to

have less people in my life. And again, this was something I decided a few years ago,

and then I read an article that it was like, the healthier you get, the smaller your circle becomes,

the healthier you get, the fewer friends you have. And so I was like, hmm, interesting. The

science is catching up here yet again. So always seems to be happening. But I'm really not

interested in expanding my circle. Like, I went through your shit with you, pumps, and I'm so happy

that you're deprogrammed. And I'm so happy that you're still on that journey. But it's, I don't

have the patience to do it again with another person. No, I agree. I'm not like, I'm talking like

just in general for people. Like, no, I'm not offering new friends by any stretch.

All right. I think that's all we have today. Is that all Kylie?

Leave us a voice memo on our Instagram. And we will see you on Tuesday or Thursday.

Listen up, Patriots, Gatriots and Patriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called

IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political

landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.

We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts

and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's

greatest legal mind, pumps, pumps. What does an eagle say? Kaka. A little bit more enthusiasm.

Kaka. That's it. That's that's Kaka. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.