Rethinking Relationship Rules with Ally Iseman

Have you missed us? We’re thrilled that Hotter Than Ever is back after an unplanned summer hiatus. Not only did Erin sell her house and move, but she’s also in the midst of launching a new business while solo parenting—no big deal. We’re returning with a bang and more real talk than ever, as Erin gets radically honest about navigating massive life transitions in midlife: letting go of old definitions of “success,” reimagining what home means, and choosing growth, even when it’s messy, expensive, and terrifying.

Then, Erin sits down with relationship coach, non-monogamy educator, and founder of Passport to Pleasure, Ally Iseman, to explore how to live and love on purpose. In this episode, Ally helps us unpack the rules of monogamy women grow up with, and asks: what if, instead of defaulting to the one-size-fits-all model, we designed our relationships on our own terms? Join Erin and Ally as they discuss:

1. The journey from serial monogamy to expansive, intentional relationship design
2. Compersion, jealousy, and why feeling joy for your partner’s joy can be a gamechanger
3. The differences between boundaries, rules, and agreements and why most of us were trained to get them muddled
4. What happens when you actually talk about your needs (spoiler: intimacy gets real!)
5. Exploring play parties, and what they reveal about consent, courage, and community
6. How to find your people and build community, whether you’re single, partnered, monogamous, or in the delicious unknown
7. Choosing adventure, whether it’s relocating to Europe, reframing “failure,” or falling in love with yourself at 40+

OUR GUEST: Ally Iseman is a writer, TV host, NCSF-registered Kink Aware Professional relationship coach certified by The Consent Academy, and Founder of the educational platform Passport2Pleasure.com. She has been a speaker, community organizer, and non-monogamy educator and practitioner since 2016. A sought after podcast guest, Ally is also a featured subject matter expert for The New York Times, Cosmo, Well+Good, Romper, PureWow, and Yahoo! and others and a contributing writer for Sexual Health Magazine.

Want more Ally? Find her and her work online at www.passport2pleasure.com and access her free tools at the links below:

1. Relationship Ratio: www.passport2pleasure.com/ratio
2. Big Why: www.passport2pleasure.com/bigwhy

Follow her and Passport to Pleasure on:

1. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@passport2pleasure
2. Substack: https://allyiseman.substack.com
3. Instagram: