Rest In Peace: Reckoning with Loss & Love

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Hey CTC Podcast Fam,

This episode is a practice of honoring what was- when a situation or relationship becomes a mixed bag of emotions. A part of my life that I rarely share about is my 8 year marriage to my high school sweetheart and a combat pilot in the Army. There were some beautiful highs and some deep lows in this formative relationship.

I have found myself feeling frozen and confused about how to feel towards this person: it was like he was one person at the alter with me and after deploying 3 times overseas it was like the man I loved had died and another person with his face, voice and body had returned. The complexity of this divide has made it really hard to let go- but in this episode we talk about what it means to allow the part of him, the before the bombs, death and war- and my love for that part of him to actually rest in peace.

As someone that takes my vows and word very seriously the part of marriage vows that say till death do us part, kinda messed me up- when a stranger in my wasband's body demanded divorce. Going through the process of all these years later, allowing the part of him that I loved and vowed to stay by his side to energetically die was potently freeing. See, I never really felt divorced, I have always felt more like a widow. War takes more than just the physical body of people, it takes their spirit, their mind, their ability to hear, their vision, their nervous system's ability to regulate.

This is for you loves, if you are also processing complex grief of someone that is still living, but no longer the same part of your life. I hope it helps, I hope you feel seen as you listen.

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This topic is really dear to my heart and if you are also needing support, click this link for an intentional 30 minute session with me. https://themegangracemvmt.as.me/changethechannel

Or connect with me on IG @themegangracemvmt 

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Do you feel disconnected from your peace, pleasure, or purpose? Wow I feel this so much even just typing it. When we are disconnected from these things life becomes shades of grey, and you were born to live and experience life in living color.

I love to support those that are desiring to live an embodied life, dancing with the stories that are held in your body so that you can live confidently in your purpose.

Click here to connect with our Substack Community. Where we talk about Somatic Tips, Tricks and Story Reframes to help you live your most embodied life.

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