Release Guilt and Shame

0:00Welcome to the Daily Energized Podcast, your quick dose of clarity, quick tips, and the spark you need to shine bright. Here's your host, Spencer Jones. Can I just tell you how grateful I am for you? I know I've said it in many episodes, but seriously, just thank you so much for taking time out of your day, out of your life, and letting me be a part of it. Seriously, even if you're doing other things as you're listening to this, I know when I listen to podcasts, I'm usually doing different things, maybe I'm driving or doing the dishes and cleaning or mowing the lawn or whatever. But just thank you. Thank you for letting me be part of your journey. It's not something I take lightly, and I'm incredibly grateful. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you, thank you, thank you. And I hope you are having an incredible day. A day and a week that has just brought you so much joy, so much love.

1:02So many things to be grateful for. Now I know not every week will be like that. I know not every day is going to be like that because life is a journey. It's a journey filled with highs and lows. And those lows help us recognize and savor those summits, those beautiful moments. And those summits help us also recognize those valleys, but it's hard to appreciate those valleys. But I've noticed on my journey, especially over the last six years that I carried for probably 25 to 30 years, a lot of guilt, a lot of guilt, a lot of shame, and over the last six years, I've worked to release a lot of it. I would say probably 99% of it, because I'm not sure I could say all of it because I'm

2:04still on this journey. There's still points. I'm like, oh, oh, oh, I just noticed I'm shaming myself about that. I feel a twinge of guilt right there. And no judgment now, I used to judge myself harshly, judge myself, and then feel guilty about judging myself. And it was this endless spiral downward, but that's another start for another day. But I would just guilt myself and judge myself on it and belittle myself over and over and over again. If I didn't do it, I was around other people who did. And if you've listened daily energize, you've heard some of my stories. You've heard me talk about those people before, one of those people being my parents, especially my mom. And no judgment against her, at least not any more I used to, and be angry, but that was my experience. And she did the best she could. I'm grateful for that. I learned a ton, but now once I recognize it was my responsibility to do something about

3:08it, to change that for me. So I worked to release it. And how did I release it? That's one of the questions I get asked when I start talking about this or we get on topic of guilt and shame. For me, releasing guilt, releasing shame looks like I'm putting that situation where that guilt and shame stems from, I kind of put it in front of me, like I'm looking at and watching a movie as it were, or I'm looking at this artifact thing or its organism and I get to dissect it, right? I get a look through this movie, analyze it, I get to dissect this thing. And I get to see as best I can without getting emotionally attached without revving up that guilt again, looking at and going, all right, what are the lessons here? What are some of the things I can learn from this? Okay, well, it's to not do this or not say this or can approach that differently.

4:10Oh, or maybe, oh, I don't realize that stemmed from that or then that trigger this, which trigger that, whatever. I could see the overarching connections. I could see the implications because while I'm looking back with, I'm not sure it's 2020 vision, but I can look back a little clearer and I'm not necessarily emotionally connected to it. My best is to stay not emotionally connected. And so I first recognize those things were the lessons and then I let it go. I say to myself, that guilt, shame, I don't need you. Thank you. Thank you for raising my awareness that there are lessons to be learned here, but I'm good. You can hit the road. And then I focus on the lessons on the good things and take those lessons forward with

5:12me, living my day in the present moment, doing the best I can with that and not letting myself revisit the past, not letting myself self revisit the past moments where that guilt and shame resides. And if I do revisit it, I do my absolute best to not allow that guilt and shame to take hold. Because I feel it at first. I get, oh, here's comes the guilt and I go, no, no, no, no, no, go away. We're done. We're done with that. That's not, I'm not remembering this. I'm not going to relive this and have that guilt and shame. Instead, what I do when I, when those memories come back, I go, oh, that's right. I learn this. Oh, I learn this. I find those positives in that situation. So now I'm reprogramming, rewiring my brain to relate those positive things, those lessons learned, even from a difficult time, from those valleys, those hardships, I'm relating it and rewiring my brain. So, oh, well, yep, here are the lessons I learned from that. Yep, it was hard. It was difficult there. I was, had a lot of guilt and shame, but I don't anymore.

6:15And I offer myself love and grace and they, hey, it's okay, Spencer. We're human, humans make mistakes. So learn and grow from it and keep going forward. To help with that, I, personally, I use a lot of visualization meditations. So where I imagine those situations that guilt the shame, like, I set it on the ground and I walk away from it or I put it on my outside and I imagine rain falling and it's just melting around me or I use a sling shot and I throw it away, like just a wide variety of different visualization, tight meditations, to help me release it and fully let it go. Now, now those have helped me over the last six years, really release it and feel free. Then there's some other things too, like who am I as a person, so my identity and stepping

7:16into a person and owning that identity of a person who doesn't feel guilty and shame over those things because, at least how I justify it is because I've learned from them, I have those lessons and so I invite you to do the same thing. If you feel any guilt or shame or anything heavy, look for the lesson, then keep those lessons and release any of that heaviness because it's only holding you back and you're too amazing to let it hold you back. So I got, keep being you, keep shining bright, go release a guilt and shame, go shine your beautiful and amazing light with the world, fully, truly, authentically. Alright, until next time, I'll catch you later.