Our panel goes on shore leave with Maggie Smith

0:00As the political landscape shifts beneath our feet, we're all vulnerable to a well-funded distraction economy determined to take our eye off the bomb. Our weekly politics series, if you can keep it, is here to help, where our focus is not the horse race, but the state. We tackle the big political stories of the day and why they matter for our democracy. Join me Todd Zwilland and me Jen White on the 1A Podcast from WAMU and NPR. NWB Easy Chicago. This is Weight, Weight, Don't Tell Me. The NPR News Quiz. I'm your judge and scorekeeper, Alzo Slade. But my friends, they just call me your honor. And here's your host at the Rose Music Center in Hubert Heights, Ohio, Peter Segal. Thank you, Alzo. Thank you everybody. Thank you so much. It's great to be with you. We have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to America's favorite. Maggie Smith. But first, I want to say how delighted we are to be here just outside Dayton, Ohio.

1:07And I mean that because between flight delays and cancellations, we almost didn't make it here. It's like, Dayton is the birthplace of flight and they've decided no one else can have it. I'm going to recommend that you join us here by phone to play our games. The number is 1-triple-8. Wait, wait, that's 1-888-924-8-924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Weight, Weight, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Ames from West Orange, New Jersey. West Orange, New Jersey. My native grounds, what do you do there? I'm a public policy lawyer at a think tank in New York City. Oh, wow. So you're coming up with really good ideas to improve society that will never, ever, ever be used. Hey, we have high hopes. And I'm also playing today, hopefully, as a prize to win for my dad, is a longtime fan of the show. Oh, really? That's exciting. That's exciting. Was your dad, we've been around for a while, did your dad force you to listen to the

2:08show when you were a child way back in the Carl Caffel days? Yeah, yeah. And so is this your thanks to him for doing that or your revenge? Thank you. And many more. Oh, well, that's great. Well, welcome to the show, Ames. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, she is the brains behind the internet, goldmine depths of Wikipedia. You can follow her on socials at depths of Wikipedia. It's Annie Rowerdough. Hello. Next, he's the host of the Coastal Idiots Podcast, and we'll be appearing at the comedy studio in Cambridge, Massachusetts on September 12th. Shane Torres. And he's a correspondent for CBS Sunday Morning, it's her old friend, Mo Raka. Hi, Ames. Hi, well. So, Ames, welcome to the show. You're going to start us off with who's also this time. Alzo Slade right here is going to read you three quotations on this week's news.

3:11Your job just correctly, identify, explain two of them. Do that. Otherwise, any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail, are you ready to go? I'm ready. Your first quote, then, is a sign at a bar in Thailand. Attention soldiers, the beer you deserve is here. The bar put up that sign because what just showed up at a port in Thailand after a record setting nine months at sea. Would that be the aircraft carrier, Abraham Lincoln? It is the USS Abraham Lincoln. Very good. After an unprecedented deployment, the aircraft carrier just finally made port in Pattaya, Thailand. And let me tell you, there is not a missile on board that can do as much damage as 5,000 sailors who just got their first shore leave in nine months. We've all seen the stories of deteriorating conditions on the ship. The captain said at this point, the boat quote, looks like a dirty car in a parking lot

4:14unquote. So the sailors on board are excited to try all the amenities Thailand has to offer, like enough food and working rest rooms. Boy, that must have been some poopy poop deck. That poor aircraft carrier, I never thought that an aircraft carrier could have it worse than the president it was named for. That's true. It's a treated worse. Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how is the cruise? There are rules. They can't just go nuts. There are rules for this shore leave. This is true. The sailors are not allowed to go to the red light district in town, or for some reason they can't do any jet skiing, right? But they are encouraged to check out the areas, museums, and religious sites. For example, they can go to the brand new museum of prostitution.

5:15Why are you looking at me? I mean, did you know this? By the way, apparently even though Thailand is known for it, prostitution is actually illegal. Everything's illegal. No, even the king and I, it's illegal to stage a production of the king and I in Thailand. No, really? That's not funny. It's just interesting. Right. But you can grammatically stage the king and me. That's acceptable. That's how you get around it. The worst thing you can do in Thailand is have a bunch of prostitutes perform the king and I. I just think it's so funny to think that the king and I and prostitution are both like if they're both in jail. They're like, what are you in for? Singing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And when somebody sings getting to know you in prison, it's not something you want to hear. Getting to know all about you. Now please stay away. Here's your, here's your next quote.

6:18We are a culture running full tilt toward little metal spikes. That was the New York Times writer talking about how Americans are all suddenly very comfortable voluntarily getting pricked with what? A vaccine? Well, not actually the only thing they're not doing is vaccines. Now that you mentioned it, but everything else they're getting through what? Oh, shots. Yeah, needles, exactly. Okay. Whether it's Botox, Wellness, Vitamin Cocktails, Filers, or simply go to Old Heroine, America loves getting shots now. Celebrities like Winifipaltro and Harry Styles have led the way by promoting their own wellness injection journeys. You can't argue with the results. Both of them are still alive. But I wonder if it's what celebrity would be the easiest to find a pain on? I'm just wondering. That's the whole challenge, right? Like it's harder. You don't like needles if it's hard to find a pain. Yeah.

7:19Well, I think you just need to check the last issue of People Magazine with America's most vascular celebrities. I want to go back to the point about the celebrities are endorsing their own wellness shots. It's like on brand for Winifipaltro to have lavender skin shot or whatever. I want to know the trashy word, like the jelly roll donut cake shot. Somebody I would take a shot. Somebody Ohioans would take a shot. All right, and here is your last quote. She inspires a lot of girls because she has 150 careers. That was someone in line at a book signing for a new novel about whom. Oh my gosh. I'm going to ask her a hit one more time. Well, she's probably had more than 150 careers and you can buy her in any of their costumes. Oh, that's definitely Barbie. It is Barbie. Yes, Barbie Dream Skate is an instant number one New York Times best seller.

8:21It's the first Barbie book aimed at young adults, but it is found in audience with lots of regular, lame old adults. The book tells what happens when Barbie graduates from Barbie School and is not assigned a job, right? So instead of being a Dr. Barbie or a race car driver, Barbie, she's just failure to launch Barbie. And it's a crisis for her because there's no Barbie Dream House, but there is a Barbie nightmare apartment with a mouse problem. Hey, Barbie, just keep at it and soon you'll end up on the panel of Wait, Wait, don't tell me. But apparently people are like really into this. They're into Barbie facing real issues like, well, she's always had relatable struggles with body image like ladies, don't you hate it when your head pops off? But the thing is, so there's this kind of nostalgia among adults to read about their childhood icons as adults. And so there are other possibilities like it's finally time for the very depressed

9:22caterpillar. A Monday he ate through one leaf and on Tuesday he didn't feel like he could eat anything. The slinky with spinal stenosis. Can't even get down the steps. I'm just imagining a slinky having to use one of those little electric chairs going down here. The stairway. Oh, yeah, you know, when I was your age, I've been able to do that for a while. Five little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and died. This is getting real soggy. How's a hundred aims do on our quiz? Ames made his father proud. He got three out of three perfect score. Well done, Ames. I hope that pleases your father. Thank you, Peter. Thank you, Eldo, your honor. Thank you. Right now, panel, there's time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Mo, there's a new dating tactic among young men.

10:25They're bragging about it. They say that in order to be hotter and more attractive, they stop doing what? They stop showering. They stop showering. Yeah, that's right, Mo. This is a new trend primarily among young men called Pheremon, Maxon. The idea, it's genius when you think about, is if you stop showering, then you can attract people with your natural scent. Nothing says mysteriously but powerfully attractive, like ripples of scent emanating off you, like heat waves, off pavement. Dedicated Pheremon, Maxors don't rely merely on their natural musk. They also are learning how to inflate their colorful throat sacks. Can I just say for the listeners at home, there are looks of disgust and dry heaves in the crowd right now. The rules man, it's a lot of not that, it is. But also for the listener at home, it's 90 degrees in here, so everybody's musty. Oh yeah. Everybody's hooking up tonight.

11:25Okay, sounds like a Pheremon, Maxon. Pheremon, you're taking the air here at the Rose Music Center. So, this Pheremon, Maxon is just not bathing. Yes, yeah. So, this is like when Uber came out and they're like, it's not taxi, it's right, chair. Like they're just kinda, yeah. They're selling us something we already have. Exactly. Wow, the USS Abraham, my god, can you match him with that port of call must be crazy. What a jen of lust, it must be. Coming up, our panelists clutch their pearls at the fruit farm and our beloved listener game. Call one triple lake, wait, wait, wait, we'll be back in a minute with more and wait, wait, don't stop me. From NPO. This week on NewsMakers, after more than a decade in comedy, I wasn't sure that we would get here. Robbie Hoffman is fearless. I had a small feeling, I wasn't sure, oh, and fully herself. My line, Lord.

12:26Hello? You can't go out and flash. Well, I'm not home now, I'm doing something. We plunge into comedy and success with Robbie Hoffman on NPR's NewsMakers. This is Terry Gross, host of Fresh Air. I interviewed feminist icon Glorious Dynam several times over the years, and we've compiled a special episode to celebrate her life and legacy. Women become ourselves after 50. We drop a lot of baggage and really become much more our true selves. Find it on the NPR app or wherever you listen to Fresh Air. Billionaire Mark Cuban has stared into the belly of the beast of America's healthcare system. I mean, it's so bad, you can go through a long list of really quality hospitals, and they don't know their costs. So, can Medicare for all be a solution? We take a hard look at the cost of the program along with US healthcare itself. Find this and hear more stories from the indicator from Planet Money on the NPR app. The day's top headlines, local stories from your community,

13:28your next podcast, binge listen, you can have it all in one place, your pocket. Download the NPR app today. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Weight, Weight, don't tell me the NPR news quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Moaraka, Annie Rourada, and Shane Torres. And here again is your host at the Rose Music Center in Hubert Heights, Ohio, Peter Seigo. Thank you, Alzo. Thank you everybody. Thank you so much. Right now, it's time for the Weight, Weight, don't tell me, Bluff the Risteter Game. Call one AAA Weight, Weight, to Player Game in the Air. Hi, you're on Weight, Weight, don't tell me. Hi, Peter. This is Alex Urbanick from Peoria, Illinois. Beautiful Peoria, down state, what do you do there? I'm actually a freelance software developer, currently looking for more contracts, and spending my time hiking and doing woodworking stuff.

14:31Woodworking stuff, really? That's pretty cool. There might be more of the future in that, because they haven't come up with a chatbot that can do that yet. That's exactly what I've been thinking. Yeah, well, welcome to the show, Alex. You're going to play our game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Alzo, what's Alex's topic? Drama at the Fruit Farm. Who doesn't love going to the Fruit Farm? Where else can I pay 50% more for apples and have to pick them myself? But this week there was an unusual controversy at the gravely family fruit farm in the United Kingdom. Our panelists are going to dish about it. Pick the real story and get the weight-weighter of your choice on your voice mill. You ready to play? Absolutely. First, let's hear from Shane Torres. The gravely fruit farm weekly farmers market is normally family-friendly, featuring all the beloved farmers market staples, produce pastries, a mandarin man playing guitar with no amplification. All of that came to a halt last weekend when two rival vendors had a war of words that turned into the British version of the OK Corral shootout, but with fresh produce.

15:35Alfie Cain, a mild-mannered baker, accused Andrew Rueley of pumping a pumpkin vendor of taking his coveted spot in the middle of the market. But the baker wasn't having it. He took a three-day old baguette, which is the hardest thing known to man, and smashed one of Cain's gourds before storming off. Hours later, the fight elevated when a giant pumpkin flew through the air and smashed the baker's stand. Taste my orange revenge, yelled Bueley. Cain did not know that Bueley outside of farming extremely large gourds was also a well-known British war reenactor. Such a serious one that he had a functioning replica catacult in his trailer. Bueley sailed pumpkins through the air with vengeance. Mayhem rained over the market for close to three hours, with other vendors and patrons ducking for cover and building pumpkin bunkers out of what they could find. Finally, authorities showed up to stop the chaos, and for the next week, Rayleigh Farms has announced a new attraction, the pumpkin catapult, four pounds a shot.

16:36A food fight at the fruit farm, your next fruit scoop comes from Annie Rowerda. When Farmer Jim and Mrs. Farmer Jane at the Grazely Fruit Farm finally finished their annual corn maze design, they were ecstatic. They couldn't wait to fly over it in their tiny plane and photograph the design from the sky. Their design was of a proud Farmer woman holding two blue ribbon melons. It's based off a real event when Jane won the melon contest last year. So when they flew over the maze in their sessna, they were shocked at what they saw. She didn't look like a woman with prized melons the fruit. She looked like a woman with prized melons the boobs. It was too late to change the corn maze. They could not make it less hot. The press was already there.

17:36When they unveiled the aerial photo to the crowd, people were aroused. And I mean shocked, when the local reporter Robert Myers asked, so what's this based on? And Farmer John responded, my wife, murmurs of respect, dude, and hell yeah, spread across the audience. The fruit farm is now proud of their busty corn woman. And the maze is the most popular one in history, with royal Air Force planes buzzing over constantly. The corn maze at the gravely fruit farm ends up being unintentionally r-rated. Your last story of a farm fresh frenzy comes from Morocco. A carnival ride in the UK is being pilloried as distasteful over its Titanic-themed ride and slide. The ride at gravely fruit farm takes place inside a replica model of the doomed 1912 liner.

18:38During each run, the mechanical stern emblazoned with the name Titanic tilts into the air nearly straight up. Riders cling on for dear life before gravity takes its toll and they slide down to a crash mat. You know, just like that scene in the movie, the passengers slide down the deck to their deaths. Somebody must have watched that and thought, that looks fun. In fact, visitors do seem to love it. I mean, this ride is no Andrea Snoria. Still, many have taken to the farm's Facebook page to express outrage. So odd to have children's ride themed around one of the worst tragedies in history, read one message. The farm had apologized but has stuck with the ride's name. Why, said the farm's spokesman, we're keeping the memory of the Titanic alive and we're not making fun of the dead at all. Well, that's what I call a lame excuse satania. Alright, so something happened at the gravely family fruit farm in the United Kingdom that got in the news this week was it

19:40from shaying a food fight sort of went nuclear in their marketplace from Annie was it that the corn maze ended up being somewhat lascivious or from Moaraka people are objecting to their new family attraction based on the sinking of the Titanic. Thank you. Thank you. Which of these do you think is the real story we heard about this family far? I'm pretty sure I actually saw a video of kids getting flung down on a Titanic ride this week. So I'm going to go with Mo. You're going to get back Moar's story. Well, to bring you the correct answer, please listen to this. We're keeping the memory of Titanic alive and we're not making fun of the dead at all. I think it's really good that we keep it as Titanic. There you are. That was Will Campbell Gray, the manager of gravely fruit farm

20:41defending the Titanic ride to the BBC. Congratulations, Alex. You got it right here to point for Mo. You've won our prize. The voice of your choice and your voice mail. Thank you so much for playing with us today. Thank you for having me. Thanks for being with us. Take care. And now the game we call not my job about a decade ago. Perhaps for the first time ever a poem became a viral sensation. Good at bones by Maggie Smith was everywhere. That led to her best selling memoir. You could make this place beautiful. Since then she's written another New York Times bestseller, Dear Writer, advice for the creative life. And she still lives in her hometown in Ohio near Columbus. Maggie Smith, welcome back to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thanks for having me. It's a pleasure to have you. It's nice to see you again. You joined us remotely when we were in Chicago some years ago. I did. Now we're here in your home turf and I'm wondering, we're here in Ohio where you live. Are you a local celebrity?

21:42Do you get recognized? No. I mean sometimes. Okay. Sometimes every once in a while, like at the grocery store at the farmer's market or something, someone will pull me aside and say a little something. Like what? Like, oh, I've been through something similar to what you've been through. Thank you for that book. And then I have to say, I'm sorry. Let me get to the express lane. Please. Yes. It's up to you because the express lane is where people with 12 issues are less. That's why I asked you about that. Because your poem, the one that became viral in Maryland, street bread that everybody was quoting, good bones was about your divorce, which you wrote about in your memoir. And I've heard that you've become kind of of a divorce doula. And that people like come to you and they seek you out because I know you've been through it and think you're wise and seasoned and you have wisdom. Is that the case? Do I seem wise? Well, you seem relatively wise. I have joked that I've become sort of a divorce whisperer

22:44that people when they're going through a thing will slide into my DMs. People don't slide into my DMs for any kind of fun reason. Right. It's always like, do you know a good lawyer? How do you sleep at night? Does it get better? I know. I'm a lot of fun at parties. These pickup lines are getting crazy. I know. Sometimes it works. Divorce doula is a kind of fascinating metaphor. I'm just imagining like, I'm getting a contraction. My water broke. What do we do? Bear down. Yeah. Yeah. You do a lot of readings. I do. And I have to ask, do you when you do your readings do the classic poet reading their own work voice? Oh, God. You know, because I could not stop for death, it kindly stopped for me that one. The poet, I mean, we call it poet voice. Do you really? Yeah, it has a thing.

23:44I really hope I don't. But I worry I do. Really? Yeah. Only because I think I have a certain amount of like natural up speak where I talk and it sounds like I'm asking a question. Yeah. But I'm not asking a question so that would be my version of poet voice. Like that up talk. Up talk. Yeah. And so do I. And many great people do. I love that for us. Yeah. I don't know. Does that because I could not stop for death, it kindly stopped for me. Right. Doesn't it make a few contemporary? I think we should do the rest of the show in that voice. Yeah, I like that. From NPR and WPEC Chicago. I'm also sleepy. I've ruined this forever. So your latest book is called Dear Writer, encouragement for wisdom encouragement, exercises for writing. You've taught writing for a long time. And I want to know as a teacher of writing, I've been one.

24:47I've met a lot. What is your philosophy of feedback? Are you brutally honest? Ooh. I'm not. No. No. You do the compliment sandwich type approach. I. Well, most of the words are spelled correctly. That's great. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. There's text on the page. Yeah. That's a great head start. I do think the compliment sandwich is helpful. It really is. It's not just in the writing classroom. Oh, and life. No, and just like, you know, with your spouse, with your children, anybody, your colleagues. No, I'm a questioner. All right. So instead of like concrete feedback, I'm like, I would like to know more about this. Can you tell me more about X? Whoever told you you could do this. Who the hell do you think you are? That's a good one. That's a great one. Yeah. Why did you think you could waste my time? Guys, there is a literacy crisis. I think we can encourage writing poetry even if it's bad. And this is a question. I know this happened to me. This happened to me. This happened to me as a teacher.

25:49I'm sure it's happened to you. What do you do when someone who means the best and is going to do anything you ask is in a work hard. But they clearly have no talent for it. What do you do? I will be super honest and say I've never had a student with zero talent. Really? I just don't think that's a thing. Oh, if that's what you told them. I'll say, oh my god. You're the first. I've seen a lot of garbage in my day. You are a no-tawards. We are here near your home in Ohio, the year your whole life. I have. Is Ohio poetic? Does it inspire your work? Is Ohio poetic folks? Is Ohio poetic? Oh, no. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. Ohio is incredibly poetic. We have amazing poets from Ohio. We have great musicians and songwriters from right here in Dayton

26:50like Bob Pollard and Kimмоle. They know. You know. I don't know if you heard the news. But speaking of Ohioans, Travis and Taylor have bought in. They got themselves a place up in Cleveland. Yeah, if you can sit maybe writing a poem of welcome to Ohio. I haven't thought of that now. Yeah. No. No. Well, maybe we could go up with the one right now. Like a Limerick? Yeah, well yeah, for example. I ask for professional interest. Have you ever written a Limerick? No, I have not. I'm not very good at like occasional poems. Like I have to have an idea that comes to me. Really? And how are you with rhyming? Poor. So we couldn't, for example, you couldn't like improvise a poem right now. No. I mean, I could. But I think. Well, I'm not going to. Right. Well, I think we would all love to hear you try. Roses are.

27:50Roses. Well, Maggie Smith, it's great to have you back on our show. And this time we have invited you here to play a game we're calling. Oh no, it's the inverted stop face breaker. So we assume you could win a poetry slam. So we thought we'd ask you about body slams. Answer two or three questions about wrestling moves. You'll win our prize, whatever our listeners. Alza, who is Maggie Smith playing for? Melissa Groveman of Dayton, Ohio. Yeah. Here's your first question. The WWE's Santino Morella had a nearly unstoppable finishing move called the Cobra. And what is the Cobra? Was it A, he'd wait until his opponent wasn't looking and then bite him in the ankle. B, he'd use a snake, a charmer's flute to hypnotize his opponent. Or C, he'd put a snake sock puppet on his arm, which would become sentient and bite his

28:53opponent on the neck. Oh. I really want it to be B. You want it to be the same charmer? But I'm going to go with C. Okay, the sock puppet. Yeah. That's right. Okay. Morella first introduced the Cobra sock puppet in a match against Mick Foley, who had his own fighting sock puppet, Mr. Soko. That was, that was very good. You still have two more. Here we go. It's common to see foreign objects enter a wrestling ring like you're folding chairs, the occasional ladder. In 2022 Brock Lesnar raised the bar when he won a match by using what? A, a tractor, B, a jackhammer or C, 25,000 M&M candies. They're like an A. I'm going to go with tractor. You're right, it was a tractor. He drove in a tractor and used it to lift up the whole ring, spilling his opponent out

29:57on the ground. Okay. Last question. Wrestling is huge in Japan and if you don't want to watch the typical wrestling match, you can enjoy which of these. A big Kaiju wrestling with a ring is filled with a mini-striker's cityscape and the wrestlers are all dressed as giant monsters. B, Zen wrestling in which the two combatants meditate in order to see who can achieve inner peace first. Or C, quote, American wrestling in which the opponents shoot at each other with toy guns. I'm going to go with the Godzilla cityscape. You're right, Kaiju wrestling. They love it there. I would pay to see that. Now that, I would be excited about it. Also, how did Maggie Smith do in her quiz? Maggie Smith, you did great. Three out of three, perfect score. There she is. Well done. Maggie Smith is an award-winning poet whose newest book Dear Writer is available now in the paperback. She's also the co-host of the podcast.

30:57You could make this beautiful with our very own faith, Sally. Maggie Smith, thank you so much for joining us again on Wait-Way Tontelman. Thank you. Give it up for Maggie Smith, everybody. In just a minute, Alzo has a wacky solution for anyone feeling burned out at work. That's in our listener, Limerick Challenge. Call one triple-lake, wait, wait, to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait-Way Tontelman from N.P. R. Hi there, I'm Brittany Loose, and not to brag, but I host a really fabulous podcast. It's called It's Been a Minute. I love making it, and I think you'll love listening to it. Over the last year, hundreds of thousands of listeners have been tuning in, and I gotta say, if you haven't yet, you're missing out. Listen to the It's Been a Minute podcast from NPR today. Looking for love? One New York event promises to find you your perfect match using Palantir, though not

31:58affiliated with the actual software company. The facts, myths, and dark jokes surrounding Palantir. Listen to a plan of money on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts. From NPR, and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR news quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Mo'Raca, Shane Torres, and Annie Rourada. And here again is your host at the Rose Music Center in Hubert Heights, Ohio, Peter Segal. Thank you, Alzo. Thank you, everybody. And just a minute, Alzo gets crowned as this year's US Limerick Louriette. It's our listener, Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-888-9248-924.

33:04Right now, panel, it's time for more from this week's news. Shane, this week, former Congressman George Santos, the first person ever to be expelled from Congress without being convicted of a crime, achieved another honor he received the prediction market calcium. First ever what? He was banned. Right, the first ever lifetime ban. Santos... Santos had tweeted that he was looking forward to attending the State of the Union speech, which drove up the odds on calcium that he would. And then he himself bet that he wouldn't attend, did intend, and he won $17,000. By coincidence, the same day he was banned for life, a man named Serge Gantos won $20,000 by betting that would happen. Would you like to hear my George Santos story? Please. Not great, but I have an explorer friend with whom I am on pretty good terms, and he bought me a cameo from my birthday from George Santos, because George Santos announced for one time only I will be doing cameos where I say a message to you, and it will never happen

34:08again, and because he is perhaps pathological liar, I'm a psychologist, he has done it again and again and again and has lowered the price over and over. So it's a lot less special now, but I do have one that personalized birthday message from him. What does he say? Happy birthday Annie. That's it? That's it? That's it? That's it? That's it? That's it? That's it? That's it? He's got $20,000. Oh no. You know where he put it? Calcium. Yeah. A lifetime band, of course, doesn't mean much to a man who would fake his own death to get out of an awkward conversation, right? Yeah. Scott's a load. His next plan is easy. He could do AMOAM. Yeah. He's gonna sell. Yeah. Yeah, really. Yeah, because you know when you see somebody driving like a pink Mary K, you know, like you're like, that's a sociopath. I've learned the wheel. His next plan is to sell boy bands to small towns in the Midwest. Annie this week, Dyson announced their newest high-tech cleaning innovation for just $500

35:11you can now buy a state-of-the-art AI-powered camera equipped. What? Guessing here. Vacuum? No. They make a lot of those. This is a new product for them. Wall cleaner. I'll give you a hint. It's washing machines. Sorry. It flosses, too. Oh, toothbrush. A toothbrush. A toothbrush. Dyson's a new camera jet. This makes me feel like the very depressed caterpillar. Really? Why would you need that? I mean, you spent $400 on a centel of verbiage. I didn't. I didn't. Did you and your ex-breakup as he was a foolish vendor? Yeah. It was complicated. Dyson's new camera jet toothbrush costs $500. Dyson uses AI to floss for you as you brush. It connects to your phone so you can livestream the cleaning as it's happening. From inside your mouth, right? It has a variety of useful attachments, but even at that price, it does not come with

36:11anyone who would actually want to watch a livestream of the inside of your mouth. But this toothbrush is not just for making the grossest home movies ever. Dyson says that, quote, the camera jet's gap optical targeting system analyzes 28 live images per second to identify and target gaps between teeth in real time, unquote, which then attacks with targeted jets of water. How lazy are you going to get? You got to hire a toothbrush to wash your teeth. You're already there. Just do it. It's crazy. What are we doing with this? What a useless invention. Well, that's a very good one. Yeah. I know where I'm at. Coming up, it's lightning, film, the blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call to leave a message at 1-888-888-9248-924. You can see us most weeks at the Studio Baker Theatre in downtown Chicago, or catch us on the road will be in Omaha, Nebraska, on September 24th.

37:13And in Kalamazoo, Michigan on October 22nd, for tickets and information to all our live events, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Weight Weight. Don't tell me. Hi, this is Megan calling from Boyer Town PA. Boyer Town PA. Okay, I assume you mean Pennsylvania. Yes. Where is that? It is southeast germ, Pennsylvania, between Allentown and Philadelphia. Okay, great. What do you do there? I am a healthcare IT analyst and a mom of three. Oh, really? And how's that going? It's going. It's going. Are you happy to have them back at school? Oh, yes. It's like Christmas in September. Yeah. Well, Megan, welcome to the show. I was so excited. It's going to perform for you three news related lemrex with a last word of phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word of phrase correctly and two of the lemrex will be a winner. Here is your first lemrex. My old meaningless job had me down.

38:14Now I'm wearing an upside down frown. My red nose and big shoes help me kick off those blues. I have a new lease on life as a... As a clown, yes. The Wall Street Journal reports that an increasingly popular solution to career burnout is to go to clown school. They were inspired people to do this, but one of the first people to think they were losing their mind and work and decided to try clowning, that's how we got Pennywise. People say the physicality and playfulness of clown school allows them to explore their feelings and take themselves less seriously. That's true. I found out my doctor was secretly also a clown and I have stopped taking him seriously. I was in Edinburgh at the fringe festival and I housed with a bunch of clowns. Five of them. Oh my God. It is the most endless sea of riffing you have ever seen. They are always like playing.

39:14I would be up making eggs and it was the longest morning of my life every day. You can't just sit and do something. Everything is a tool or a toy for these people. You are a microphone and you are the egg DJ. This is not a good riff. You are the egg DJ. Tell me more about the riff. But also Richard Kahn lived with us for three days. Oh wow. Yeah. I came down the stairs and he just turned him up and he was there in a great towel. That's a big moment for me. I'm sure. All right. Here is your next limerick. The petting zoo's goats just had babies. Outback off though because cuddles might slay me. If they nibble or bite they will snuff out my life. It turns out the goats all have... Rabies? Rabies, yes. You can applaud. Three adorable baby goats at the Farm Adventures petting zoo in North Carolina tested positive for these.

40:15Maybe more petting zoo should have a sick animal wild card. We do things little differently here. One of these llamas has Ebola. Megan, here is your last limerick. If I want my whole home to stay perty, I need space where my clutter can't hurt me. This room takes the heat so my house can stay neat. It's a zone I allow to stay... Perty. In dirty, that's right. According to organization experts, having a dirty zone or a designated messy area of your home can prevent clutter and mess from taking over the whole house. You're basically fighting a land war with your own clutter. And you have to make some sacrifices. Surrender the hallway closet in order to have strategic control of the living room. But this makes sense if you think about it, right? Instead of trying to keep your whole house clean all the time, just throw the stuff in one place and the rest of the house can be clean. But that's like... That really is. That's a slippery slope.

41:16You know, like people have a junk drawer or whatever. And then you're going to make it a closet. Make it a junk room. Yeah, like this is not good. This is one... This is one... It's a creepy thing. Yeah, it's going to get bigger and bigger. But like it started off with like, oh, I don't know where all these keys fit to. I'll just put them in this drawer. And then before you know it, you have 80 cats. What's that? Also, how did Megan do in our quiz? Megan did great. She got three out of three. Perfect score. Congratulations, Megan. That was well done. Thank you. Thank you so much. Take care. Music History is intriguing. But unlike the present, it can feel far off. On NPR's Thurline, we bring it back to life. And put you in the middle of it. Go inside the stories from then that shaped the world we live in now.

42:20Find NPR's Thurline wherever you get your podcasts. How will a historically unpopular president navigate a midterm election season that may leave him with a lot less power? Stay caught up on the latest news with Trump's Thurms, the podcast where we curate NPR's coverage of President Trump. In short, episodes focused on a single story. Follow Trump's Thurms on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts. Now let's order our final game, Lightning Fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. How else can you give us this score? Of course. Shane and Annie are tied at two with Mold having the lead at three. All right. So, Shane and Annie are tied for second. I'm going to pick Shane to go first arbitrarily. Here we go. The clock will start when they begin your first question fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the U.S. carried out more strikes against targets in blank.

43:22Around. Right. On Monday, the Supreme Court ruled that construction of the new White House blank could proceed. All right. Right. This week election officials said they have no time to comply with Trump's proposed rules for mail-in blanking. Uh, voting. Right. On Wednesday, Golf superstar blank took a plea deal in his DUI case. Tiger Woods. Right. This week CNN has apologized for a company and coverage of the death of Dolly Parton with a photo of blank. Oh, God. A Loretta lens. No. A Dolly Parton impersonator. Oh. On Tuesday, a 91-year-old man named Dale Saunders became the oldest person to hike the blank. Everest? No. The Appalachian Trail on Monday, Tim Cook had his last day as the CEO of blank. Apple. Right. This week police in Indiana responding to worry reports of two lions wandering the city, launched a full-scale investigation and found blank. Lions? No, two pigs that people kept mistaking for lion. Oh, Jesus. Though no nearby Jews reported any missing lions, police took the report seriously and launched a high-tech search utilizing both drones and thermal imaging cameras in the end.

44:28Officers were able to put the public's mind at ease saying, quote, there's nothing to worry about. It's not a lion. It's just a pig whose mouth is covered in blood. How's it? How did Shane do in our quiz? He got five right for ten more points giving him a total of 12. All right. All right, Annie, you're up next. Here we go, fill in the blank. On Monday, the UN said that 4,500 people are still unaccounted for after the blanks in China and Nepal. Flood? Right. This week, Dwayne Davis was found guilty of ordering the 1996 murder of rapper blank. Two-buck. Two-buck, yes. On Wednesday, the US Mint began selling $1 coins with blanks portrait on them. Top? Yes. How did you know? This week, a Russian television station aired a congressional election debate even though all six candidates blanked.

45:28Died. No, did not show up for the debate. On Monday, soccer superstar blank announced he was retiring from Argentina's national team. According to a new study, blank drugs may increase hair loss in men. And T-O-P1? Right. This week, a debate has risen over whether a hiker in New Jersey took a photo of Bigfoot or if it's just blank. A pig? No. A chubby, naked old guy in a ball. That was what I was going to say. I know. The figure in the photo that the hiker took in her iPhone camera was hairy and stooped with a prominent gut. People who believe that it's a cryptid are calling it the Syracuse figure, which is a phrase you really don't want to catch on. Yes, personality is a ten, but he's got a real Syracuse figure. Better than a Utica pot. Yes. How's O? How did Andy do in our quiz? She got five right for ten more points. Total of 12. She's tied with shame. All right, then. How many does Mo need to win?

46:34Mo. You need five to win, buddy. Mo, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. According to a new poll, only 14% of people are in favor of renaming Lake Ontario blank. Lake America. Right. On Monday, a new study found that up to 25% of football players may end up being diagnosed with blank. CTE. Right. The Thursday feminist icon blank passed away at the age of 92. Glorious Dina. Right. This week, Reese Witherspoon revealed that she was once made the foreman of a jury because the other jurors blank. Oh, thought that she had gone to law school because of her legally blonde character? That's exactly right. She convinced in performance. On Monday, paleontologists in Africa announced the discovery of another new blank. And she was the last one to find a sore. This week, a woman in Virginia having a dream about nuzzling with a cute mouse woke up to find blank. That she was nuzzling with the cute mouse.

47:34No, that she woke up with a bat in her mouth. Apparently, after somehow getting into her bedroom, the bat fought her mouth, looked like a nice cave and headed on in. Thankfully, after she woke up, her husband caught the bat. Great job. You couldn't have caught the bat before it went to your wife's mouth. Also, did Maudu well enough to win? Yes, he got five right for 10 more points, total of 13. With his chest hairs out, he is the winner of the show. No pictures, please. Coming up, our panelist predict now that we're all fans of Needles, what's the next scary thing that we'll all come to love? Wait, wait, don't tell me. Is there production of NPR and WBZ Chicago in association with the Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord? Philip Godica, Retzard Limner, Sir, Public Address Anouncer, Paul Friedman, or Ops Manager, is Jisira Vardak. Thanks to the staff and crew here at the Rose Music Center and Special thanks to Luke Dennis and everyone at WYSO.

48:36EJ Litin in Composer, Steve McCurkheim is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dronbus and Lily and King. Special thanks this week to Vinny Thomas and Peter Gross and Janie Hoffman and Dom Bannis. Peter Gwyn is our Simon Call Peter and Matjois, our vibe curator, technical direction, is from Lorna White, our CFO's Colin Miller, our production manager. Is Robert Newhouse, our senior producer is Ian Chilog and the executive producer, wait, wait, don't tell me he's Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what's scary thing will we love next? Shane Torres. When people leave conversations, we will soon be giving catchphrases as we exit, like OH. Oh, oh. You suck off. Andy, you're out of it. Legionnaire's disease, because in the warming world, it's just nice to have AC. And Mo'Raka. The original wellness remedy leeches. And if any of that happens, panel will tell you about it on, wait, wait, don't tell me. Thank you, Alzo Slade. Thanks also to Shane Torres, Mo'Raka and Andy Rowerda.

49:39Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Rose Music Center. In beautiful, central Ohio. Thanks to all of you for listening wherever you may be. I'm Peter Sagan. We'll see you next week. This is NPO. How do products end up on Big Box Shows? Well, we have plenty of money. Pitch, deep planet money, board game. I'm trying not to think how much of a big deal it is and how much work has gone into. It's really big. Is it helpful if I remind you how big it is? It's sort of the whole thing. We go inside the minds of the people who decide what goes on store shows. Listen to Planet Money on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts. Tonya, I think you did the best to interview that I've done.

50:41Seriously. Oh, that's a great question. I think I want to think about that question for the rest of my life. Good question. This is Tonya, mostly co-host of Fresh Air. And the questions are only the half of it. Listen to Fresh Air on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts.