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About this Episode
Jonny and Richard answer listeners’ questions about Knight Rider watch faces, the difference between Land Rover and Range Rover, quirky replacements for a Golf, model specific plates on the wrong car, and legendary garage find rumours.
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Hosts & Guests
Transcript
I'm Richard Porter, I'm Johnny Smith, and this is on the other side of things that Smith and Sniff spin off in which we answer your questions.
Well, here we are with another answer answering your questions. Our first visual answer so you can watch this on YouTube or maybe some other platforms as well, we're not sure.
And you can see our faces, I can't see why you're saying that, but don't worry, it is also still just audio. You can still see our faces.
Should we dive straight into some questions from from listeners?
Yeah, let's just dive straight in, shall we? I've got one for you Richard actually.
Okay, go on.
So shall I ask it and then you answer it?
Yeah, I think that's a good system.
Okay, this one's from Simon and Sof, hi Richard, just checking if you have the night rider face on your Apple Watch, CMTMB Simon.
Oh, yes, I do.
Oh, yes, I don't really use it, but I downloaded one when I was going to, I think I might be going to Radwood or something and I thought it might be quite fitting because this was before you'd bought me an actual night rider watch.
I know, I know Richard, I was going to ask you, have you used your brand new night rider watch?
Yes, I've worn it. Did I wear it at a live show? One of our shows I might have done.
How did you?
Well, I've never seen it. I should have played its little song to me or something.
I don't think it plays a little song.
Oh, doesn't it? Does it not do anything?
No, it just looks like a night rider watch, which is sort of, that's half the battle.
Yes, Simon, I do have a night rider face on my Apple Watch. I don't select it very often, but I did.
Did he say just checking?
Just CMTMB.
Oh, yeah, just checking if you have the night rider face on your Apple Watch.
Yeah.
Okay. Well, there we go. Anyway, yes, I do.
That was a very quick question, wasn't it? Just straight it?
Yeah.
Probably made it more complicated, didn't it need to be the answer? Yes.
He put autosot in the title and everything.
Well, that's what you see. We love that.
Someone to a question from a listener called Emil.
He is from Norway.
And I know this because he says, I am from Norway in his question.
He actually starts with, hello, you contra-based clarinet.
I am from Norway.
And for us who are not from the UK and just vaguely familiar with English cars,
I have a question that may seem silly to you.
What is the difference between Land Rover and Range Rover?
And has it got anything to do with the Rover car brand?
Um, he signed off with what I assume is a Norwegian take on cheers,
make thanks, make buy.
Oh, yeah, look at that.
I'm so sorry, I'm going to mangle this, but I think Scal Compass,
Tak Compass, had it.
I love that.
Scal Compass, Tak Compass, had it.
I mean, I know Tak is thank you in Norwegian.
That's the one bit of Norwegian.
I know, so that does make sense.
You've got to get the breathing right, though.
There'll be some punctuation breathing techniques that we haven't got there.
Yeah, but anyway, so to answer Emel's question,
or so, yes, it is to do with the Rover car brand.
Yeah.
Land Rover is one of those car companies that was just a car.
That's right.
From DS, I suppose would be another example,
was just a model has somehow become a whole car company.
So, yeah, Rover made a Rover for driving across the land,
and that was the Land Rover.
It was just a model.
So, when they came up with another Rover for driving across the range...
Well, Jeep, because Jeep is the same, right?
Jeep.
Yeah, I suppose so.
Yes, because it was the Willie's Jeep, wasn't it?
You're right.
Yeah, and Willie said it was a brand of car before making an off-road thing.
Yeah, good point.
And then it becomes almost stronger than the thing it broke away from.
Well, exactly as things in a Rover doesn't exist anymore,
but the model that it made in the 40s that became a whole company.
So, yeah, Land Rover, there was a Land Rover.
It was just a model of Rover.
And Land Rover itself became officially became a company in the late 70s,
when they sort of divided BL up into lots of subdivisions.
That's right.
And that's why, at that point though, they just made the Land Rover and the Range Rover,
all got a bit confusing when the discovery came along,
because then it was the Land Rover discovery.
And it's like, well, what's the Land Rover then?
It's the Land Rover Land Rover.
So, that's when they renamed it the Defender,
so that it liberated Land Rover to be the company in a less confusing way.
Yeah.
Obviously, Land Rover was just a model made by Land Rover.
They used to really annoy me because it looks messy.
You still get it on some car sales websites,
but when I worked for Virgin Cars,
we had an internal system that listed all makes and models of car.
Yeah.
It always listed the Range Rover as the Land Rover Range Rover,
because it's sort of had to.
It just sounds messy, doesn't it?
It sounds really messy.
But it is the truth, I suppose.
Yeah.
Officially, that is what a Range Rover is.
It's a, the Range Rover is,
and all types of Range Rover are models made by the company Land Rover.
And Land Rover is the umbrella, yeah.
Exactly.
But then they're doing that house of brands thing that nobody understands
so that they're trying to separate it out so that Range Rover feels like a separate company
that then makes the evoke and the velar.
But then again, it gets messy because then you get to the full size Range Rover
and what's that, the Range Rover Range Rover?
It doesn't make, again, there's no need to separate it.
You're spending money on things that don't need money spending on.
No.
Just spend that money on R&D.
In marketing terms of the difference between Land Rover and Range Rover,
the Land Rover is meant to be sort of more off-roady,
and you can put lifestyley shit in them like surfboards
and Range Rover is meant to be luxury.
That would be their distinction, I suppose, in-house.
Yeah, traditionally they were simpler, weren't they?
They were a simpler, less luxurious beast.
Yeah.
But the lines have become a little more blurred in the same way
that Scoda has become a lot more luxurious and is nudged into VW territory
because VW is nudged into Audi territory.
So the lines are blurred now.
That's true.
Isn't it?
Yeah.
I would say it is blurred.
The old distinction, it was much simpler when there was just a Land Rover
and a Range Rover within the Rover Range.
And it was if you worked the Land Rover and if you owned the Land Rover,
you had a Range Rover.
That's right.
Distinction, I would say.
I liked that.
Okay, I hope that helps.
Samuel, maybe not.
Maybe that was more confusing.
I'm not sure.
But anyway, we gave it a shot.
Yeah, no, I like that one.
We've got another Scandinavian question.
And it involves four by four vehicles.
Okay.
Four by four canundrum.
This one's from James Taylor.
Hi, you pair of swench-wenches.
Actually, it's not from Scandinavia.
I read that.
I read Swedish wrenches, but it's not its swench.
So I'm just being fair.
I'm just being a bit dim.
Hi, you pair of swench-wrenches.
I'm looking to go from a one car garage to a two car garage.
Oh, exciting times, James.
My advice, buy another car.
That will achieve your dream.
I've got a 2020 1.4 Volkswagen Golf
and I'm looking to either add a second car or trade it in four two cars.
I have around 10,000 pounds of cash to add to the pot.
The two car garage needs to be able to...
12,000 pounds of cash.
Sorry.
I don't know why that tickles me.
It takes the 10,000 pounds of topsoil,
which I'm hoping still will swap for a car.
I have around 10,000 pounds of cash to add to the pot.
The two car garage needs to be able to do rural train station runs,
a decent amount of miles per year,
B-road blasting and the occasional off-roading.
I would appreciate some quirky and enjoyable car choices from you.
Sorry.
Okay, two car garage needs to be able to do rural train journeys,
decent amount of road work, miles a year,
B-road blasting and occasional off-roading.
Sorry.
That's the two cars.
Two cars.
Two cars.
Yeah.
I was being thick and thinking that was just one car to do all that.
Right.
I get you now.
We don't know what James is into.
He's got a Golf 1.4,
but we don't know what other stuff he's into.
And he's got 10 grand to either add to the pot
if he sells the Golf or trades it in
or keeps the Golf and adds another car.
And the Golf is like,
so it's a five-year-old-ish Golf.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So what's that worth then?
I don't.
12.
I don't bloody know.
It's the honest answer.
Well, let's say theoretical 10,
and he's got 10 pounds of cash
as well to put in.
So 20 grand for two cars.
20 grand for two cars is a lot.
B-road blasting.
And occasional off-roading.
So these are the two sort of
talents that are needed here.
I'm going to split them.
I'm going to be able to say to do
rural train station runs.
It can do decent miles a year
and it will be good at occasional off-roading.
Okay.
So let's take all of those things
out of your road.
First or second generation.
Because you can comfortably afford
both of those generations, I think.
You haven't said what you care about MPG.
It's just a decent amount of miles a year.
You could get one with a fruit to your engine.
I like the all-road.
It's probably going to shut its suspension
as we said before.
One of James's stipulations was,
oh yes, I must have the
constant spectre of
shitting its own suspension.
So...
Yeah.
He hasn't said whether he needs to
do any towing work.
I'm start...
I keep thinking about a Suzuki Swift
sport as a...
as the B-road car.
And slash Rural's train station.
Because they're sort of small.
They're slim.
Yeah, slim.
Rural train stations are slim.
They're pretty well made.
Second generation, I think.
The first...
I had a first generation
one as a long-term test car
from Evo.
And it was great.
But the second gen, just sort of,
I think, is a bit easy to live with
for a number of reasons.
And it just has a few more mod cons.
It doesn't have to be run on super unledded,
which the first one was supposed to be.
Oh, yeah.
And...
So at this point, it's...
Even things like the first generation one,
those Swift had a really massive key.
It's keyless.
But the key was sort of very big and chunky.
Really, was it like trying to put a mug of tea
in your pocket without the tea, and obviously,
like a mug?
It was like...
It felt like, sort of,
trying a slot of VHS cassette
into your jeans pocket,
if it like...
Oh, that's uncomfortable now.
It was almost like,
I remember borrowing a second generation Swift sport
spunked after I'd had my first gen car.
And then...
It was as if Suzuki had read my mind
or maybe read the things I wrote in EVO.
And they fixed everything I didn't like
about the first gen car with the second gen.
So I think they're terrific.
And they are within budget here, I think.
So...
Yeah.
That would be my vote.
James doesn't say how old he is.
So I don't know whether he gives a toss
about insurance costs or tax.
But...
Because there's me thinking
if he digs a golf,
but he's got a 1.4,
you could just go for a GTI,
Mark VII,
or Mark VI,
or Mark V,
if you wanted a slightly older one,
which would be a hell of an upgrade
from a 1.4,
perfect for B-roading,
fine for lots of miles a year.
Well, I wonder what the context is
for the occasional off-roading,
because it's like, yeah,
get a golf,
spend most of your budget
on a really nice golf GTI.
And then just get...
I could...
an old gym knee or something
for a little bit of off-roading
when you want to.
I don't know if that's going to fit the bill.
Gymmies are going up in value too much,
I feel.
So I would get something nobody really wants.
It's going to die Hatsuit Terios.
Yes.
Yes.
That would also do it, wouldn't it?
I think that would be...
A bit of an Easter Island head.
Oh, I know.
I know what he could get,
if we were feeling a little silly.
He could get himself a naughty little K-car rocket
if he wanted to be a bit quirky.
He has mentioned the word quirky.
Yes.
Well, I was going to say,
what about a Renault Kangu tracker?
Oh, they're bloody cool.
Because if it's not for hardcore off-roading,
if it's just sort of like a little bit,
get some decent tyres on that
that have built for a bit of off-road work
and I think they're...
I mean, I don't know,
they're quite rare aren't they, the trackers, but...
I feel like there's a...
a whiff of kayak at the weekend about James Taylor, you know?
Do you think?
Yeah, I think there's a whiff of occasional triathlon
that loves an expensive bicycle
and maybe a bit of kayaking.
So if he's that kind of guy,
Kangu tracker type thing,
or even the Audi all red,
the Kangu trackie type thing will be spot on, wouldn't it?
Hmm.
Blim and spot on.
I'm going to...
Yeah, I'm going to throw my...
I'm going to throw my hat in for that, I think.
Yeah, I'll just go for a massive, massive power saloon car
that nobody wants anymore.
Yes.
XJR.
Oh!
Okay.
BMW 740, Audi S8,
soddit.
Go for the S.
Who needs the A?
Go for the S.
Okay.
Yes, and then a Terios.
Or something like that.
Like a real, like,
rural off-road, occasional off-roady little
slag scamp.
Slaggy scamp.
Slaggy scamp.
Is that okay to say that?
Okay.
Well, we have onto a question from a listener called Rick
who says, hello.
You pair of brothers from a find another mother.
I don't know what a patron.
I have owned not one,
but three Subaru Impretzai,
which...
Oh!
I think that's the plural, but...
I appreciate that he's given it a go.
Three Subaru Impretzai,
which I think qualifies the following question.
I started to become aware of the phenomenon
which I'm about to describe a year or so ago,
and now I'm trapped in a prison of my own making,
and as I can't stop spotting it,
I live in rural southern Scotland,
Macray Country.
Yeah.
The Impretzai remains synonymous
with the aforementioned Macuriel Scott,
even after all these years.
And so as someone who's still daily's one,
an R205 in World Rally Blue
with one remaining piece of blue protective plastic
on the passenger side door sill,
making it for sure a one-of-one car.
Top marks for using the term for sure as well.
Yeah.
Yes.
Lovely search for that.
But Rick says by driving this Impretzai,
he says he gets certain subtle,
tillum and benefits.
These include, but are not limited to,
the occasional appreciative nod,
the, are used to have one of those
back in the day, at the pumps.
Yeah, back in the day.
Or when the Rally Jacketed Gods are really smiling on you
and indicator being flicked on
to allow you smooth, flat four passage
when it is safe to do so.
Ah!
Is it saying that people in rural Scotland
will let an Impretzai buy as a...
So they can hear the...
Oh, I respect.
Hear the bum note.
Yeah.
Yes.
So yeah, you hear sort of...
Throbbing and then...
I flip and love the flat four.
So Rick says,
this brings me to the phenomenon in question.
Are you aware of what would have been
Subaru Impretzai WRX STI-specific
personal plates now adoring,
adorning non-Subaru cars
or other model-specific plating
being retained and put on to a non-matching car?
I can't stop seeing them.
WRX-WRC on a VW Tiguan
STI-555 on a Ford C-Max.
What? That's offensive.
I know.
PR-0-DVE.
Honestly, Zuki Sleria.
If I'm lucky enough
to be able to catch a glimpse of the Helmsman,
they are inevitably the same guy.
They are...
I used to have one of those back in the day guy.
Why doesn't the guy from back in the day
who went to the effort of getting STI-555
as a personal red?
Why don't they still have one?
I don't understand people like this.
Why don't they still have the car that they love?
Well, I never know.
This is how Rick ends his message.
He's wondering if he's staring into the eyes
of men who once had it
and now hope that it lives on through a personal plate
that they reckon is going to be a worth of fortune
for days of all-wheel drive,
two-litre turbos roar again.
Yours crouched in a ditch,
shaking a rolled-up program, Rick.
That just sounds a bit wrong.
That sounds like he's having to do a road poo.
Yes, he really does.
But I feel like this...
I know exactly what he means
and I have seen it.
And I think that one of them...
It's quite egregious,
is when somebody clearly had a BMW X5
and they succumb to that fatty phenomenon
of getting an X5 plate for it.
Yeah.
They've now moved on to another BMW.
And so...
Yeah.
You know, they've got a...
I've seen that.
They've got a 5-series or something,
a 440 or something like that.
That's conspicuously not an X5.
But clearly,
they've become attached to the plate.
Yeah.
So they've stuck it on there
and you go,
I know the story here.
It's usually the M3 people.
Yes.
They had an M3
and they've gone to some BMW that's dull.
Yes.
But they've kept the M3 plate.
And I always just think,
you're telling the world
that you used to be cooler than what you know are.
Aren't you?
There is something a little bit sad about it
and you see like a 520D
with an M3 plate on it
because you just go...
Well, I know what's happened to you here
and there's no shame in it.
It's just your circumstances have changed.
You now have children and other commitments.
Yeah.
And the M3 is long gone.
But my friend,
just dropped the plate.
Got the plate.
You could sell it to someone who has still got an M3
and they'd probably give you a few hundred quid for it.
STI-555 on a forwarder's day.
It's C-Max.
It's honestly making me itch.
There's a sort of like people
who are watching like videos
of other people DJing
rave classics on a Friday night about it here.
Yes.
Because it is a bit of a...
I used to be me that I'd have been out.
That's a Friday night.
In the 90s I'd have been out.
I'd have been out raving.
It's like, yeah.
But we all get hold of you.
You don't just accept your fate.
There's a sort of clinging.
Back in the day almost sounds like a spin-off of match
of the day for people who aren't interested in football.
So it's just a broader brush.
I was talking about things from the back.
Yeah.
But it's still friendship by Gary Linnaker.
Yeah.
It's someone's watching, I don't know.
Juventus watching playing
Bloody Somebody, Munich by Munich.
And then...
And we're at the meantime watching BITD going,
oh yeah, do you remember when LTJ Bookham
did the progression sessions off of 1996?
Fucking hell mate.
Never better.
Never better.
Never better.
Well, I didn't expect LTJ Bookham
to get a mention today.
But I'm glad that he...
Well, he did.
Because that album was 30 years old
a couple of weeks ago.
What?
It was 30.
It came out in April the 8th, 1996,
which was my brother's birthday.
Right.
Which is terrifying.
Hmm.
Terrifying.
I listened to it last night while I was washing up.
Did you?
Yeah, it was phenomenal.
It was phenomenal.
Can I just say it was phenomenal.
Yes.
I'm going to go and listen to it now,
because I remember it being great,
but I've not listened to it for years.
Yeah, do.
Do listen to it.
It really speeds things up in the kitchen.
And we've got time for another one.
One more.
One more, yeah.
For sure.
Yeah, go for sure.
Okay, we've got this one.
From Simon Kohley.
Good morning, you pair of den-rated flanges.
Having listened to...
Wow.
Having...
Yeah, that was straight in.
Having listened to the Call to Arms.
To listen to the Scorpion song, Send Me an Angel.
Not only did a suitable car pop into my head,
but the scenario slash alternative music video
in which said song and car could live in harmony.
Picture this.
It's the 80s.
You have money.
You live in leafy, leafy London.
And you are living your best, yuppie life.
Although you haven't just done well.
You've done some serious buzz-nuss deals,
and you've bought yourself the girthiest of buzz-nuss mobile.
The Mercedes-Benz 500E.
Ooh.
Like the song.
Powerful, but not a chest-beating show-off.
80.
I love that.
80s man comes back after a hard-deaf buzz-nuss
and probably some Colombian marching powder.
It is the 80s after all,
but comes home to find wife has cheated.
After 80s silent screaming with music playing.
With silken sheets disguising modesties.
80s man...
St...
Stombs out, shoots off into setting sun
in brackets think RS-4 scene from Learcake.
In the Mercedes though.
Lots of looking into distance.
Tear-filled eyes.
Possible visit to bar meets other lady.
Hang on, that's not a question.
Is it?
Look, I've not heard a question so far,
but is there a...
Is there another bit?
No, that's the end.
Where's the question?
Why do I get these non-questions?
It says autosite in the title.
Well, there's a salientry lesson as we always say.
If it's a question,
put autosite in the title,
because it helps to find them.
If it's not a question, just put something else.
Well, I'll do a really quick question
from another listener called James,
who says, hello, you pair of overgrown hedges.
Listening to a recent podcast where you discussed
various abandoned cars you'd seen from trains.
I was reminded of a question to ask,
which I first thought of reading
when Richard's boring car trivia books.
Richard writes about a five-litre V8 Rolls-Royce-powered
Chevrolet Caprice Testmule,
which is rumoured to still exist in a shed in Northern England.
Hmm, this is true.
This got me thinking about the wider world
of hidden-away automotive urban legends.
My question to you guys is,
what interesting and unique vehicles are you aware of
that are rumoured to be in existence in sheds and lockups?
Oh, my gosh.
You must have heard of some tasty things.
Yeah, well, one of them actually came out of hibernation
a couple of months ago, which was the wall phrase,
if you remember, wall phrase, the wheel company.
Yes.
Which is still around.
The show vehicle they made in the very early 80s
or was it the late 70s that were six-wheeled?
Yeah, we've talked about it before, haven't we?
Yeah.
Yeah, so a lot of people thought
that that has been, like, broken up and laid to rest.
But it actually, it exists and it went under the hammer.
And I'd love to see that.
Absolutely love to see that.
Yeah.
There's rumours that the moulds still exist
for the Panther VI, one of my favourite cars of all time,
which one day I will not tell you
and I will commission a new moulding of one
with Smith and Sniff's budget
and put a Chevy LS in it.
But I'm trying to think of other vehicles.
There was a vehicle that used to,
it was at Myra test ground in Leicestershire.
And it used to pull the winch system
that used to collide cars together for crash testing.
Oh.
And it was.
I'm pretty sure it was an oldsmobile.
It was either an oldsmobile cutlass
or a Buick Skylark,
a big block GM vehicle.
And apparently there was nothing it couldn't pull.
And it had hardly any miles on it,
but all it was used for is to fire it up,
warm it up for a few minutes,
and then just pull on this pulley system.
Yeah.
And that was it.
But I have heard it's still around,
but not to Myra.
I'd love to know what the deal is with that car.
These things come out of the woodwork
in like the blind finds on the Lake Bracer.
You just think,
well, how has that been there for 30, 40, 50 years?
It's just weird.
It's amazing though, isn't it?
Yeah.
It's really, it's heartening.
And it's also, I suppose, good for you and your channel.
Yeah.
That these things still do happen.
I was going to say just to explain
for people who haven't read my book,
the Chevy Caprice that James mentions
was in the 90s, I think.
Rolls Royce and Bentley,
still one company at that point,
developed a new 5.0-litre V8 in-house.
And to put some miles on the first prototype,
they needed to put it into a car
that could take a big V8.
But that if someone saw,
it stopped with a bonnet up,
they wouldn't necessarily immediately clock
that there was a new experimental engine there.
So they wanted an unfamiliar car in the UK.
So yeah, they bought a Chevy Caprice,
fitted the engine in that,
and then they were able to put a load of miles on it.
And nobody was any the wiser as to what they were up to.
But yeah, I was told by someone who worked on that project
at the Caprice,
when they realized they couldn't really afford
to do their own engine.
So the Caprice Mule was tucked away somewhere.
It wasn't destroyed, supposedly.
And it is,
last I was told a few years ago,
it's rumoured to still exist somewhere in the shed.
So that's a good one.
Imagine how much parming that Caprice had done
around the UK just absolutely.
Just parming it.
I'm imagining just pulling out of a junction
and just really going for it on the palm front
because that's like about five turns to pull out of a junction, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah, waxing off, waxing off.
You'd get corns on the palm of your hands, wouldn't you?
Yeah.
So calloused hands from excessive parming.
Yeah, I can't think, I mean, there's lots of things that also
hear about when they come to light,
sort of prototypes and what off.
There used to be a load of stuff that folds worked on down in Essex
that a company rule said that if it was surplus requirements,
it should be crushed.
Yeah.
And an engineer who worked at Ford back in the 90s and early 2000s
said that if they had something really cool,
they would, they had a place they would send them
where they could hide them effectively.
So when the auditors came around, they wouldn't notice.
Really had like a, yeah, they had a,
what looked like an Escort Cosworth,
but it had a Scorpio 24 valve V6 in it.
But obviously mounted lengthways the way
that Escort Cosworth engines sat anyway
and it was rear-wheel drive.
Oh, wow.
So it was completely pointless and just a way forward to ever sell
a V6 rear-wheel drive Escort Cosworth.
It just sort of didn't make sense.
No, it was just a play thing.
But it survived the crusher because they hid it away
when the auditors came around.
And I think John Barker drove it for Car Magazine years ago.
I don't know if it still exists, but that was a definite kind of
hidden in a shed car.
Yeah, yeah.
So there's all sorts of things like that.
Anyway, that's probably enough question answering for this week.
But if you have got a question, hello at smithandsniff.com
is the address and we'll do this all again next Friday.
Normal show on Monday.
Until then, goodbye.
Bye, everybody.
Choose me.
Thanks, mate.
Bye.
