Open Air with Cheri Huber - September 8, 2026

0:00And welcome to Open Air with Sherry Hubert. Good afternoon Sherry. Good afternoon Michael. How are you? I'm doing really well except I couldn't get on to the call. I was a little little thing of oh dear. I think it's 5 o'clock. I think Michael's going to be wondering where I am. So maybe I could read again. How are you? Oh my god. How are you? How was Thursday? Thursday was great. The presentation was fun and practice works. Yay. I've thought about it many many times. Up until then Thursday and then after thinking I kind of have feeling just the way you were talking about it that it was going to be great. You're going to have a really good time with it which is kind of where we want it to be. Yes. Yes.

1:06And I think you know that's where we want it to be all of life. You know not sort of divided up into this thing is hard or you know this is nervous but this is easy. You know we want to bring that relaxed presence joy to everything. Yeah. Yeah. Just enjoying all of it. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And some of it is a little nerve wracking or you know. Yeah. We're a little anxious about it or unsure about it or whatever. But that doesn't mean we can't appreciate it and enjoy it or that we don't want to do it. It's just that yes. Yes. You know that's something that we haven't fully made peace with. So you know after you've done 150 of these it'll be like a big snore right. But right now it's you know you're not sure it's a little challenging it's exciting and a little nervous making and all that. So yeah. And then you have a good time. Yes. Yes. Exactly. And you you great? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

2:15Yeah. Farm day. Don't get me started. What is all. I have an ounce of sure. All right. This very show open air with Sherubert is moving to the Zoom platform starting with next week's show on Tuesday September 15th. Yeah. But what they threw us a curve right. Yeah. One one one system goes away and suddenly you've got to find another way to connect and here we are all. Yeah. Yeah. And so what happens if somebody doesn't do we have something if somebody has questions about that or what are we doing? Well perfect. Perfect intro Sherry. Thank you. An email with instructions about how to participate will be sent to everyone on our mailing list after today's show. Oh, okay. Great. Great. Yes. All right. Good. These instructions will also be

3:22posted to that how to participate section of the open air website at open air with Sherubert.org after tonight's show. All right. Oh, very good. Yeah. I think I've just heard a rumor that everything we do is going to go through this transition. So imagine we'll be hearing about this a lot. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Change is good. And your voice is breaking up for me just a little bit every now. Oh. Well, I'll try to be more steady in the future. But let me know if it doesn't change and I don't know what I'll do. But something I'm sure. You want to just call call back in while I Oh, it's that bad. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I will. Okay. Okay. Thank you. Explore the art of delicious vegetarian cooking at our next Zencook's workshop.

4:25Sunday September 27th when we will be preparing a roasted veggie and hummus bowl. The workshop includes an opportunity to process your experience in group. Registration is also open for reflective listening buddies and keeping commitment studies. Both programs start October 15th. And finally, the eBook version of Transform Your Life, a year of awareness practice by Sherry's Uber, is now available at the Keep It Simple website. KeepitSimple.org and other eBook sites. Yeah, you know, I bet there are a lot of people who had no idea that we had such a book. Because it came out a really long time ago. But I think it's fun and I think it's really fun

5:25that it's an eBook because it's a calendar, right? I mean, it's a daily practice focus kind of thing. So kind of a sort of what universe are you creating in that daily activity sort of thing? If I'm remembering it correctly. Why? I think that's what I hear. It has a quote for a little parable. Yeah. And that's right. It has it every day. Yeah, yeah. And then something, yeah, a quote from some wise person. And then, yeah, and then something to focus on for the day. So yeah, it's fun one. Great. Great. Again, for these and other practice opportunities, visit livingcompassion.org. And if you remember for tonight, if you'd like to get in the queue to talk with Sherry, please press star six and then one to make that show.

6:26Any conversation of about five minutes and on one topic is fabulous. Yeah, I think we're ready, Sherry. All right. All right. Thank you, Michael. You're welcome. Here we go. First call. You are now live on the air. And would you please introduce yourself? Hi, Sherry. Hi, Michael. This is Anne Femingent. Yeah. Yeah. Hi. Hi. Thank you so much for taking my call. I don't really know. Oh, I'm sorry. But other than I had a lot of resistance to it. So I talked, well, that's kind of a good reason. You know, is nothing else just go up against that resistance, which was extremely... Very strong. Stronger than I felt for a long time. So, and let me check in right there. So you have an impulse to check in with practice.

7:31And you run into big wall of no, don't do that. I don't want to do that. Yeah. And that's what caused you to say, oh, I think this is something that I'm going to do. Yeah, it was like, yeah, it felt like I was deciding to commit murder or something. That's how it was. Yeah. Strong resistance. I mean, well, I've not felt like that for a long time. And also then in line with this week's... You know, with the fear, I can be myself. I don't have any fear. And guess what? I do. Well, and that can be part of the same process, right? So, feel like... Fear. Yeah. Well, you don't have any... You're not afraid of anything. There's not anything that you're afraid of. So it's kind of nothing to see here. You don't need to look into that. And then start looking a little bit... Actually, that's not true. There's quite a bit here.

8:35Yeah, mountains are. Oh, mountains. Yeah. Yeah, it feels like that. It feels huge, much resistance. And then I just forgot... Because of lack of practice in that, my ears, I'm sorry. I've forgotten how... How tough that resistance can be. It feels like... Like I said, I'm a damaduffle. I'm like, oh, just go back to sleep. It's one o'clock. You don't need to. Yeah, fine. You can just go back to sleep. I'm like, nope. And getting out of bed, I had to make myself get out of bed, you know. But what do I do? I mean, that kind of feels like a little bit trick along. And obviously it's lovely to talk to you, Shari. Again, just a little something about that. Because it's great when we see it. Right? Because... I mean, that's just a huge step forward in practice.

9:36Because I bet you can remember, I can certainly remember for myself, times when you just kind of slide off into that. It's not even a... I don't want to, I don't feel like it. It's just a... I don't. The voice is convincing. You know, I don't feel like it. Okay, well, and it takes a long time to come to the point of realizing, wait a minute, I think I've... I think I've... I forgot what I was doing. I forgot what my life was about. But you actually saw it coming. You recognize that when it began to want to talk you into going unconscious. Yeah, and I can't even hear any voices. It just feels like a huge boulder pushing up mountain. And like, and it's about to crash down in the second, you know, that's... But I'm really full of compassion for people and myself that we have to go up against something

10:36so hard when we need support, you know. I don't know. And I'm doing that not to cry here because that's not what we don't, you know, we don't have anything against tears. No, but I want to use this time to get guidance. I know it's okay to cry about it. It just feels like I've been put in a Washington, I don't know where I am. I'm so down, you know, I don't even know what I feel after time. You know, just... I guess that's okay too. Well, you're busy feeling it. So when, yeah, when we're feeling it, when we're in the middle of it, we have to step out of it. In a way, we have to step out of ourselves or out of our lives in order to look and get an assessment about, oh, well, you're feeling this way or you're feeling that way. Which, you know, increasing that I think we experience as an unnecessary step. You can just feel what you're feeling.

11:41You don't actually need somebody to put a label on it and decide whether that's an okay thing or not okay thing. Yes, I don't have to label it. Yeah, I can just be in it. So, yeah, that's... Thank you for your lecture, that was really helpful. So I woke up yesterday morning because I've been practicing with the new assignment this week and I was like, well, what does it feel like to have here, what friends were in my myself? When I liked my whole life was Jesus. I feel like there's one bowl of here. I just remember that. This is a revealing, you know, it's... And... And... I'm not good at doing what I'm doing right now that I'm fairly miserable. Taking care of my sister, I do it all wrongly and if usual, I can hear the voice at the time, you know, it's not just sensations anymore, so I can... So I just... Right, is that okay? I'm doing everything wrong.

12:48Okay, that's fun, you know. Right, that's... Okay, that's established. Yeah, whatever it is, I'm doing it wrong. Okay, good. Do we end that conversation now and just get on with me doing it wrong? Do we have to talk about it? Yeah. Yeah, so I looked at that and I thought, well, what can I do better than... Okay, I'm going to make a list of everything I can do better. And I did. And I set those protocols up and I'm like, right, there you go. This is where I feel I need to move. And that's not really empowering. So it really... And it was around my sister's care and how... Like I know I can prevent the inevitable. What I can do is be preferred to be an advocate for her as best I can and educate myself. Well, you know, pantheon cancer is a pretty awful thing. I need to educate myself more. So I did... So I did a couple of hours of educating myself and ringing the right people,

13:49the ranging the right people to come here. Love, love, love. And I felt like that was a good move and I feel a little bit... I know I have no control and I know I can't stop anything from happening. Well, I can be in the best position I can be in for her, not for me, for her. Yeah. So yesterday I started work. She's been getting really bad backache. So I educate myself around, all right, what could that be? I've also got the pocket care nurse come to check. She hasn't got spinal compression and all of those things. And which was a big step and an important one, you know. And it turns out it's okay. And then a critic says, you're just worrying about nothing. You know, it swings the other way. You know, it's just swing the other way very quickly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just over-warry and I'm like, all right, this is not a good place to be. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. Thank you for sharing that with me, right? Thank you for giving me that assessment. Yeah. Yeah. I do everything wrong. I worry too much. Anything else?

14:54Anything else you want to... It's so... You know, when we're able to step back from it in the way that you're describing, it's just so obviously what? It useless. You know, we could go down the road of it's mean, it's cruel, it's... Which it is. It's awful. I mean, you're in this position, you're doing the very best that you can, and you get nothing but criticism, right? And not from your sister, not from other people around you, right? They're not saying that you're doing anything wrong. It's all the voices in the head. And so we can just see that it's just useless. It doesn't... It doesn't help anything. It doesn't... It doesn't make you more attentive or a better caregiver, more loving or anything. And yet it's there. So the best... Right, our best approach is just to say as you're doing. Yeah, okay, good. Whatever. And then redirect the attention to where we are now,

15:59and what is the now step? So there's no sense in feeling bad, right? And that's a big part of the practice for us, right? There's no sense in feeling bad because it's all just hogwash. It's just saying mean things to you to make you feel bad. So the thing that you can do is not feel bad. Right? Yeah. And I can also counteract it like so it tells me, you're not... You know, I've always been half an hour checking in with her, just in terms of how she's doing, just to feel she still has autonomy, you know, all the things that you would want to check in with her friend. Or someone that struggles in and makes sure that they can have a voice. And it was absolutely opposite to eager with autonomy. And that's a really good point and a really good tip for all of us dealing with voices, right? So you're not checking in with her. Oh, okay, okay, well, all right, thank you.

17:07I'm going to... That's good. I'm going to check in with her right now. Yeah, okay. Again, just treat it like it's sensible or sane or trying to be helpful, which none of which is true, but that can be our approach to it. Yeah, it's like the opposite of what it says. I can choose to put my attention on. Yeah. So in that sense, is the only way there's any use to it whatsoever. You know, I couldn't even say that. Thank you for that friction. That's really helpful. And I suppose I'm trying to guide in like... I don't even know what I would ask other than... I think you answered already. What's the most important thing? Well, and what I would say is you're doing everything you can possibly do on two friends, right?

18:08You're doing everything you can to be there for your sister. And a part of that is applying that thing of... You know, you said you have no control. So we know that. We have no control. She has no control. You have no control. None of us has any control, right? And so really taking that to heart, because sometimes we forget things. Sometimes we're not as sensitive as we wish we were. Sometimes we don't know things, that it would be wonderful if we knew. But we don't have any control over that either. And so you're doing the very best you can with her, and you're doing the very best you can with you, because you are approaching that negativity with loving kindness for the human being who's in this position. That is the best you can do on two fronts, right? And it would be wonderful if we only had

19:08one of those. You know, it'd be great if you could be in this position with your sister, and there's none of that negativity in your head at all. Sadly, that's not the case. Or where most of us are, a lot of the time is, there's all that negativity in the head, but there isn't this critical event also or circumstance going on in my life. So you've getting it out of both barrels at this point. And so you just keep doing what you're doing, which is showing up the very best you can with all the love you've got, and not accepting any negativity. Thank you. That's very straightforward. It keeps it simple. It says, it says, now, and yeah, I can picture you, and I pictured you as a, in a Matadors outfit, right? And that negativity comes at you, and you just swish to the side and let it go by.

20:09And then it circles around and comes at you, you swish to the side and let it go by, right? Yeah, that's really helpful. I've been using the image of a keto move. What's my next idea? Yeah, it moves. You're right. I'm going to step ahead. Yeah. Yeah, and I just thought, you know how you always say it when practice, when you get a situation in your life practice, not just a half an hour anymore, or an hour, it's like 24-7. Yeah, if I take every second of the day to be the second. Every second. And once, yeah, once we realize that's a gift, because I could be sleeping through my life. Yes, and then I could wake up right when it's time for me to depart and go, oh my god, I've missed all of this. I've wasted the whole thing. But, you know, when we're, when we're called upon to the artos, every second of it, it really is a gift. It really is. Yeah, it feels like strawberries everywhere. Lots of, like tires,

21:14sorts of so much strawberries in the store. I feel like you were saying, today, just everywhere, there's so much joy, so much, we've, I've had so much fun, I mean, so much fun. So, and, you know, you can't help over that together, you know, so, I feel, I feel like once you made a decision not to continue the chemo, her life has completely turned around, not that I meant to chemo, please don't, that that's not what it means, but for her, that maybe he's different, you know, joy in life. She hasn't got, you know, to deal with that, which was absolutely agony for her. She's had a lot fun, in fact, I need to tell you, she's a keen gardener, and I know that you're enjoying your farming, so she's a keen gardener, her, she's in a community, and I encouraged them to join a competition, and they kept becoming winners up. She just got presented with a prize last week, and got interviewed, and like, wonderful. Yes, it was amazing celebration, amazing celebration, because

22:20it lit her, and she told her how she felt, where she sat with, how her gardening, as a satyr and how gardening, helped so when she's in fear, you know, really, really powerful stuff, she wouldn't start as being such a gift and such joy, you know. Yeah, yeah, to be part of that, and it was the way that, so I came out when they were here, we were going for an appointment, and she's like, don't think, just tell me what you love about your garden, and I had to do two-minute video, no prep, no nothing on the spot, and it was just beautiful, and she came up with it, it came from the heart. It just came, she got the ring and a five. And this is a kind of tangential, before I let you go. Yes, you know, we say this all the time, and it's always true. None of us knows how long we have. No, we just don't, and so to be happy like that, and enjoying your life,

23:23and having fun, and feeling the love of people who care for you, being able to love and be loved in that way, I mean, it's that old, the Zen expression of the person who awakens in the morning doesn't mind dying in the afternoon. And so when we find that joy that life is, we're satisfied. Would we like it to go on longer? Absolutely. And yet, we know we've had it. We have the best that life has to offer. So yeah, that's what it feels like, and it's like, is it real on cover, pulling where it goes? Did you get what you want? And just guys, ideas, and what did you want? To be loved and call myself, to love it on the surface. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's actually what it feels like. And it says, it's like you just like this Michael cousin, feel like if I

24:27have been here three months, and I feel like I've lived my whole life in three months with her. As soon as I'm there, you know. Yeah. Yeah. So it's thanks to practice that, you know, that oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it's not me. It's practice through me and being in this for your position to have this opportunity. Well, I know, I look like, you know, that's right, that's where we say thank you practice. Because you know, without it, without the, and we could say the work that we've done, you know, with the what we've put in it, then again, we say these are the times that we practice for. Right? Because it's going to get hard, and we want to be ready to meet it with hearts wide open and full of love. Yeah, and it feels like it's turned up in bucket votes for me and for her and for this, you know, it's just, you know, there's literally angels

25:29everywhere. Yeah. Well, it's strongly held. It's held excited. Yep. Yes. All right. Well, thank you, thank you for staying up late and checking in. Thank you for taking my call and thanks Michael. Bye bye. Bye bye. Yeah, and that was fabulous, Sherry. And we're going to break here, Sherry, for good news update, and then we'll come back to like with more calls. All right. Yeah. All right. Thank you. And Jen, your guest is now live and I'll turn it over to you for good news update. Great. Thanks, Michael. And I'm pleased to be joining this afternoon by Jill, who is here to

26:33speak with us about her experience of participating in your best shape possible. Welcome Jill. Hi, Jen. Hey. Hey. Thanks for being with us to talk about this. Oh my god. I'm just so excited. I'm glad to have a good start. It's a great, I have, I mean, where to start. Yeah. Yeah, do tell. Well, I'll just start somewhere. Yes, go for it. So these Wednesday calls, one o'clock, it's an hour and I mean, to bring, so what I'd noticed last week on the call, what was just, I mean, the how we bring the the basics of practice and then how practice is growing to these of the last weeks, open air call, which was just amazing. To something like best shape possible.

27:39For me, you know, in the format took last week for me was this, I mean, you know, I'm 58. I've got, you know, at least 12 things going on with my body that are different from when I was, you know, 25, 32, you know, so, you know, the amount of time that I'm spending pending to the body is increasing. And so just, just, you know, the process of accepting that fact alone, practice helps me so much with. It's like, and then, you know, I, whatever. So there's the physical stuff and one of the things I talked about last week on the call was this ice cream problem that I have. And, you know, I have an opportunity to, like, fill the night. Yeah, yeah, I, I, I, I, thank you. Yes, not a price, not, it really isn't a problem. You know, I have high cholesterol, it's hereditary, I would have high, whatever, triglycerides, like, and I just saw my general practitioner.

28:42And she was like, yeah, maybe the ice cream, you know, just saying. And it's good to, given that you were needing it before and now you're reading it every night, I don't know, there could be a quality center. Yeah. And it's, you know, it's on, whatever. And so it just was something that I decided to look at and, and, you know, see, and, you know, the practice thing that came up for me around it was that, you know, the same, it's just such a, it's one of the first things I encountered in practice that blew my mind was that the same voice that is talking me into eating ice cream is the same voice that's beating me up for doing it. And so huge, that fact alone has, I mean, even now I have goosebumps, I'm just like, it's, it was such a revelation. And, and, yeah, I mean, I, I, it, yeah, it's powerful. So, like, bringing that type, just the power of practice to tending to the body, like that, the

29:46marriage of those things has just, I mean, I, I'm just, I love it. I absolutely love it. Because I have so, I just, it's, there's so much in society that like, well, whatever, I won't go down there. But I just feel like it's, it's kind of, um, the body doesn't get enough attention, really. Or it gets attention in the wrong ways. Or whatever exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. The feeling of right attention for it is, is beautiful. Exactly. And starting with, I love how you said, oh my gosh, where to start. There's so many places right to go. I'll just start wherever. And then where you started was, it was except, right? And, and that's so completely it. And so not the process that the body, especially in recent articles, is almost never received the process of acceptance. Right? So, beginning there with, okay, here are these things, right? I have, there's this particular body

30:46that I'm inside of that's been around, you know, have this many things, you know, all the things that have made it up and Zalbobla. And so to have a process that assists you to be with the body, not what the mind thinks about the body or what the mind judges the body should be or where it should. But a process to actually allow you to be in the actual body as it is, opens so many possibilities. And we were joking with the ice cream thing right out of this ice cream problem. But truly that it does become, well, actually what I have is a workshop. And if I approach it as a workshop, it just blows the whole thing right. Yeah. Yes. I mean, it really is extraordinary because I live with my father now and he loves ice cream. And for some reason, I mean, I actually went into his medical record with his permission online and I was like, do you have high cholesterol? He's like, no, I don't. I don't have any, you know, so he's not his problem. And so to kind of similar to what

31:54was talked about last week in open air, just this idea of like, you know, being with it, accepting it, I mean, I don't mean to say it in that way that sounds like it's not a big deal, is a big deal. But then to move into listening to what drops in for an action to take for someone to intervene in a way that is for this person and for the person's body is like, that is a whole new level for me. Because I know I mean, I have been, yeah, that's been revolutionary. And I did it. So I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I did it. So you did now. Yes. Yes. Yes. In a couple, in a couple instances. Yeah. In a couple, not well, with the ice cream thing, yes, that's well, that's also so huge. Because it's so interesting, isn't it, Jill? Because it's truly not about the content. Yeah. Over and over in practice. And yeah,

32:55there's something, I don't even know if I can express it, but they're the symbol of the content. You can have the mind and death. Yes, it has. So yes, I mean, it's kind of like it just helps, it just builds this momentum to, I don't know, it's like a first step onto the invisible bridge like in, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I want to underscore a commercial for if people did not get to listen to Open Air last week, you know, all that everything we wanted, we were just talking today. I think, I think sure he said, Open Air has been around for something like insane, like 28 years or something. I don't want to be quote, if Michael will know, but which means, I mean, there's just endless numbers of archives. But yes, it's the show last week, that piece that you're adding that you're reminding us of. So there's the acceptance of what is being with what is noticing being aware. And then that piece of, with that awareness comes the ability to step in and actually care for

34:00in this name, Jill, and for the body that Jill is in. So with that awareness, you get to choose, in this case, in that moment of there's the offer of the ice cream, and you can choose out of a tremendous sense, I predict, of love and compassion, to say, no, thank you. And wow, the ability to actually do that, which doesn't mean if I don't do that, that I failed, and I deserve a beating, because that's part of the workshop too. There are going to be times where there is is that stepping in, and it doesn't exactly. But that is part of the, I'm aware of that. And I see how that happens. And pretty soon, I will be able to make the choice I want to make. And as soon as I make it, that builds the momentum you're talking about, and then it's easier to do the next time, and so on. Oh yeah, I mean, the momentum, I mean, I was going to take a long walk yesterday, this is another example of the like intervening, and you know, it was really important to me. Yesterday, my house, my mental health, just to like get out into nature and walk fast. And so

35:06I told my dad, and he was like, oh, I'll come with you. And I said, okay, but that information dropped in, like, you know what, I just really want to boogie down the trail on my own. And I kind of like waited, it was just interesting. And then at one point, I was like, you know what, dad, I think I'm going to go by myself. And you know, we can do it, you know, we can do it tomorrow together. And I mean, that was just a moment. I still astounded that I was able to do that. And then we went to this other part today and had a delightful time. So it's amazing. It's amazing. It is amazing. And kind of an aside, but kind of not with something like that, we also don't know the ripple effect that that that process that you're talking about, every human being I project on their version of that. And so to have some, I mean, this is what practice does for all of us, especially

36:08the guide, to constantly be in the presence of someone who is able to make the choice, but they actually want to make ripple effect to that. I project is very impactful. Yes, I, yes, yes. Yeah, yeah. So I, yeah, I don't want to talk up the whole time. I mean, if anyone hasn't heard the call or on it or I mean, it's, I don't know, I personally, I'm getting so much out of it and I am so appreciative of it being offered to us. So deep kashofra then and this is so fun. It has been so fun. And I guess so to you for being willing to be on today to talk about your experience of it because yeah, it's truly really, really fun and very transformative. It is. All right. Thank you, Jill. Thanks for being with us this afternoon.

37:09Thank you. Take care. All right. Go happy. Go happy. And Michael, we will turn it back over to you and Sherry. Thank you, Jen. And thank you, Jill. And welcome back to Open Year with Sherry's Uber. And that was fun, Sherry. Yes. And so, um, well, inspiring. The ice cream, the ice cream opportunity. Yes. I, I project, we all know that. It was, you know, whether it's food or drink or exercise or whatever it is, we all know that place. But the one I was particularly struck by was the, um, the decision to say to someone, you know, I really, I really would like to do this by myself. Because there's so much conditioning. And I don't know, maybe women have way more of this conditioning than men do. I don't, I don't

38:12honestly know. But to be able to just come from that place and say that and realize that we don't have to, uh, sacrifice ourselves in order to try to take care of someone else. Because when we do that, the amount of harm that follows it is far more than anything that's going to happen because somebody might get their feelings hurt if we say I would rather go for a walk by myself. No? If we can't step into that that way, then that's where the resentment comes from. And the, um, you know, all, all of the, uh, stuff that ego can get going about, not just simply saying what, what is true for us and trusting in everyone's adequacy. Yeah, yeah, definitely.

39:13It's powerful. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we have more colors here. Good. All right. Next caller you are now live on the air. And would you please introduce yourself? Hi, my name is Laurie and I'm calling from Vermont. Oh, hello Laurie. Hello, Sherry and Michael. It's so nice to be here. And, uh, first time. And I'll tell them. Thank you. I'll tell a quick story of how I got here. I was perusing a used bookstore up here in Vermont and there was a free bookshelf. But of course it was of tremendous value because your book, how to find the, how to be the person you want to find, this book found me.

40:15Wow. Wow. Yeah. It just came out of the crowd. Yeah, it did. And I was like, oh, what's this? And, I read it. And then I read it again. And then I read it again. And yeah. And, you know, all these, I'm a lifelong spiritual seeker and I work on my stuff. And, but I definitely have had I'm 63, not that age really matters, but, uh, you know, I've been stuck on some stuff and your model, this model has really been pivotal for me. I'm, yeah, I'm calling tonight with tremendous gratitude and, uh, real eagerness to stay on the path of this conscious awareness practice.

41:17Well, good. I bet, I bet you can sense that we are right here in great eagerness to support you in that, uh, in that endeavor, in that, yes. Yeah. Yes. And I appreciate that. And I, uh, truth be told, I, you know, I was poking around the website and, um, when I found out you had a podcast, well, I started listening to the archives of these open air podcasts. And wow, uh, you know, on every episode, I would say at least one or two colors really, really was inspiring. And I, I quickly realized the power of what you're offering here. Um, and the sense of community that I feel, even though I feel like a real beginner in the practice, uh, the sense of community that I

42:20get through, uh, listening to the podcast is just tremendous. And I said, you know what? Laurie, it's time that you called in. So here I am. Yes. Stand up and say, I'm here too, which is, which is, uh, the whole thing about community. But you know, I just want to respond to one thing before we go on to that, which is I had no idea they were podcasts. Somebody else used that word. And I, I had no idea that they were available to people in that way. You know, I, I was like, I mean, I knew they were archived. Um, but, uh, I thought, you know, you'd go on to our website and you'd find them and you'd find out about open air and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Um, and then recently somebody else said, yeah, I just think you wanted your podcast. And I thought, my first thought was we don't do podcasts. I realized that, oh, they're talking about open air. So I just feel, I just feel like we've been launched into, uh, current times in our culture.

43:24We now have a podcast. Yeah. So, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, enough about that. But yes, the, the, um, the thing about community, so we were just talking, we were at the farm this afternoon. We were talking about, we F T every afternoon at the farm after we've worked for a while. And we were talking about, uh, about open air. And again, Jen mentioned this. Uh, we couldn't remember how, how long it had been on. Um, we thought 28 years, but we were going to ask Michael and we haven't yet, but he'll, he'll tell us. And, um, so we were, I was saying that there are people who come on and say, you know, so and so first time caller, I've been listening for 15 years. Sure. I've been listening for 20 years. And I've never called in. And, and what's so remarkable is they're just cruising right along with us. You know, they know everybody, they know what everybody's

44:27out to what, what our issues are, what we talk about and our struggles and, and all of that. And so they're absolutely a part of the community, a part of Sangha. And it's so wonderful then when somebody does call in and, and let's us know that they are there with us. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. And, um, I won't go into a lot of content tonight, um, because I intend to call back at some point, but, um, you know, I, the past two callers did resonate with me, um, or share really quickly. Um, yep. I've had a year of different health challenges and, um, also, challenges around a longest and relationship, um, and having been alone over the holiday weekend and sort of what that brings up for me. And what's been really helpful in practice is stepping

45:32outside of the ego identification, um, after doing quite a bit of self-reflection on, okay, well, what are these voices? What have they been telling me? And I, I, I just, I've been blown away by, you just don't even realize that, that these voices are operating at the level that they do until you have this, uh, this framework, uh, to go on. And, yeah. Um, so, you know, I'm, I'm doing baby steps, but, uh, I already see, uh, this, the way that life is opening up in a very different way for me, with a lot more, um, you know, to piggyback on the last color, like honesty about, uh, what I need. And, uh, and also, you know, we don't know how long we have. And so, making the most of every day,

46:32and really, uh, feeling joy in a new kind of way, yeah, just been remarkable. And to tie those together, more, the, until we recognize those voices and how negative they are, um, how controlling and, and in many, most cases, hateful they are, it's really difficult for people to get to joy, right? Because the, the conversation in the head is just so focused on negativity so much at the time. And as, as we recognize that process for what it is, and it begins to fall away, then yes, oh, we can be here. It's beautiful. We can, we can appreciate how, how beautiful nature is, and the goodness that exists, the goodness that exists everywhere. And people around us and creatures and, yeah, and we can be here for it. So it's, it is, it's, it's extraordinary. So, I'm glad. Welcome, welcome aboard. Thank you so much, Sherry. Uh, I will be listening,

47:38and I'll certainly call in again. And I hope to do the, the email class. I didn't, I thought advertised, but I didn't see registration open yet. So maybe, uh, I don't think it's, I think it's, I think it's an October, I'm not, I'm not really, I'm not really certain, but yeah, okay. Yeah. So, yeah, I'll keep, keep your eyes peeled and, uh, you know, jump in whenever something strikes you. You know, we, do we have a lot of crazy stuff like with this, uh, if thing that a lot of us are really crazy about, called Zen cooks, uh, where we get together. Oh, I agree with that. Yeah, on a Sunday and cook together. So they're all, yeah, there's just all kinds of things to participate in. When you're ready to do that. Great. All right. Thank you. Right. Go, thank you, gosh. Oh, go, have the, oh, thanks for joining us. Laurie and sharing them was delightful. Yeah. How long have

48:38we been doing this, Michael? Do you know? I can make a good guess. And I think it's about 24 years. Okay. It started in late 2002. All right. All right. We're saying in a, in a, if I remember correctly, kind of a basement at Stanford University. Yeah. With our big headphones on and, all right. Well, here we are. Yeah. Yeah. We had to share the good word of practice. Get it widely. Yeah. Yeah. We couldn't get very far at that point, but, um, technology has definitely been our friend. So that's good. Yeah. Yes. And we have another color here. All right. Next color, you are now live on the air. And would you please introduce yourself? Yeah. Hi. This is Helga. Hey, Helga. Hi. So I came across a quote by Osso. And, um,

49:44um, you know, I found that I found it interesting. And I, I, yeah, anyway, so it was something about, uh, that there's the observer. Mm-hmm. There's the observed. And the observer is not the witness. And in that quote, I don't have it in front of me, but basically what it said was that when the observer merges with the observed, the witness arises. And oh, interesting. And I found it so interesting. And, you know, and then what also came up for me that was something that sometimes, you know, I, I don't know if I really can distinguish between the observer and an aspect of ego that watches me like a hawk. You know, for any, and, and, and, and has opinions.

50:49Yeah. For any, you know, for any mistake I make or whatever. And I've seen it, I've seen it reflected in, um, in that boy, you know, that I've, I've been close to for all these years. Now, he's 16. And he has that same kind of, uh, behavior, you know, it's like almost like looking for any, anything he can criticize me for. You know, and it runs in that family. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've seen it in that family also. But it's like, you know, it's like, it just reminds me of that part of myself, uh, that is very good at that, you know, you know, Helga. Helga, can you, can you offer that family a projection workshop? I'd be happy to do it. Yeah, they might not be interested. Well, and no, yes, no, no, I don't get it. Yes. We did have to look at themselves. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

51:52That's the part that none of us really are excited about. We don't like that. Yeah. Yeah. So, anyway, all these, all these different, uh, uh, aspects, you know, and it kind of, you know, and maybe I misunderstood that last week, you know, these conversations about, you know, it's like where you see something. Uh-huh. But you, you know, so you notice it and you, you observe it, but, you know, you don't, you're not able to actually do something about it. Yes. Well, so yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. I do. And so here's, this is one of those, I'll just, I'll say this to you, and then you will look at it, and then next time we talk, you will let me know, okay? Okay. So, if you are, so here you are going, going along, and you, you have a sense of something, maybe you've been less than sensitive or less than kind or you, you know, one of those kinds of

53:01things, you know, you didn't run over somebody in a crosswalk, but it's just one of those, I could have been more attentive, I could have been, right, that sort of thing. So then what you, and you become aware of that, you, you notice that. So is what you get as a result, negativity, criticism, judgment, okay, is what you get, simply an awareness that that happened. So in the first case, I bet you can guess that I'm going to go with egocentric calming conditioning, okay, right there. And yes, watching you, watching, and in that watching, it's like, it's not kind, right? You know you're being watched by an unfriendly observer, right? The other one can have a feel actually where it's not unfriendly, that the

54:12observation is more one of letting you know, right, that assisting you to see. Here's something that you would want to, so, you know, I'm your best friend and we're doing something together, and you have an interaction with somebody. And I might say to you, you know, I think when you said that, they might have misunderstood what you were trying to communicate. Okay, so you're not going to hear that as judgmental. You're going to hear it as something offered to you, to help you, to make you more aware, to help you understand something. And so just to look at when something happens, what is that feeling, which one is it, right? Because they both have a feel to them

55:22of being watched, or that you're being observed. But the one is critical, and the other feels supportive. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's like, you know, I mean, oftentimes, you know, it's more like it's neutral. Yes, you know, what I mean, it's not, I wouldn't even call it like, you know, I don't, yeah, supportive in the sense that, you know, it supports awareness. Yeah, yes, yes, it's a neutral. Something I noticed, yeah. Exactly. Now, the third part of that is that we're going to cover in the two minutes that we have. The third part of that is what we were talking about last week, where there is the awareness of something. So it's the earlier conversation with the ice cream

56:26opportunity, right? So ice cream is not good for me. I know in my heart, I don't want to be eating it. And yet I get talked into eating it every time, right? And so here it comes. I know it's coming. I've paid attention. I've been watching it. I'm going to have an opportunity to eat ice cream. I'm going to watch the whole thing on the one hand. I really want it on the other. I really don't because I know it's not good for me. I'm aware that I can say no and I don't. Yeah, I don't. And that's the point where and I don't want to, you know, do this spoiler alert kind of thing here with this because I'm going to say something that, you know, but anyway, I'm going to say it, all right? And that is to look and see at that very moment, would you have said no, but got

57:32talked out of it? Was there an impulse present to take action to say no? And you got talked out of it rather than there was simply a neutral observation with no possibility of an action? You're going to tell me next time we talk, okay? Yeah, if you listen to this again, that's not hard. Okay. That's fair. Yeah. And of course, I would invite anybody else who wants to play with it and see what they see. And then let us know because that's what's going to take forward that whole conversation from last week that we're looking at. So there I am. I can see it. I can see it. I know, I know everything about it. I know both sides of it. I know that that's happening.

58:39There's the opportunity presented to me. I don't say anything. I don't do anything. What's going on? It's like a giant mystery, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, I did. I relate to that. I go to the gym regularly. But I don't know that I look forward to it or really, I can't say that I really super enjoyed it. But I always feel better when I've done it and I come out and I feel better and that usually gets me going. And like about 20% of the time, I drive into the parking lot of Gold's gym. And I get into a parking spot and something, and I can hear it. I can hear that whole conversation on the way. It's like you're very tired. I don't know if you really want to go.

59:43And I have that conversation every time and 80% of the time, I go into the gym and do what I'm doing. But 20% of the time, I drive right out. Yes, that's it. That's perfect, isn't it? Because the situation, you can see the situation is exactly the same. You're not more tired at that 20%, you're not, there's no, no, no, there's nothing going on except that conversation and the end relationship with it. Yeah, you're so very exciting. Yeah. Okay. All right, here we go. Thank you, Alka. Thank you, good night. Good night. And thank you, Michael. It's fabulous. I like that homework for all of us to look at. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. So thank you, Sherry and thanks all of our colors and all of our listeners and

1:00:52go happy. And next week we'll be on Zoom. So look for an email about how to log in. And I'm going to do my best with new technology as we all will. And we'll go. Yes. Yes. All right. Thank you for that reminder, Michael. And yeah. And we'll, yeah. Good Lord willing. Next week. Happy. Go happy.