[No Laughter Version] Poison Ivy. (+ 19 more dad jokes!)

0:00Why did Shaggy have a sticky foot? He stepped in Scooby's due. What kind of car did Mozart drive? A sonata. My boss at the button factory said we had to rush this next batch. We had a pressing order. Poison Ivy really rubs me the wrong way. Place the facts people, aliens never visit earth. They've read the yelp review. Only one star. Don't hire a bull to clean your house. They charge way too much. What did the baby deer say to its mom? I know you love me, but please don't fawn over me. German train operator Deutsche Bahn has gone international. But Deriel is not a great name. Did you hear about the bakery they opened down at the zoo? It's called bread and captivity.

1:01If you are paranoid, don't become an Uber driver. All those people talking behind your back. Pregnant carrot went to the doctor after the feed is stopped kicking. The doctor said, I'm very sorry you've had a miscarid. I saw some big cats fronting in a field of flowers. They were dandy lions. More dead jokes are coming up after this quick break. My day kicks off at the refreshing Celsius energy drink. Then straight to the gym. Pre-get pick up, back onto meal prep. Time for my fire session shift. One more Celsius gotta keep the lights on. When the three alarm hits, I'm ready. Celsius, live, fit, go. Grab a cold refreshing Celsius at your local retailer or locate now at Celsius.com. Try to out some new cowboy and western clothes today. I'm ranch dressing. What's the difference between an intense interrogation and a nature walk?

2:02One is badgering a witness, the other is witnessing a badger. Why did the belt get arrested? It held up a pair of pants. What do pilots and stand-up comedians have in common? They both worry about the landing. I just started learning to play swing in bebop. I'm pretty jazzed about it. What did the brain say to the bladder when it started leaking? You're in trouble. In which city do India people leave their mother? Mumbai. I'm Montgomery Jones. Don't miss the bonus joke at the end of the episode. We're on a mission to spread the laughs and drones far and wide so do us a favor and share a joke with your loved ones today. Looking for the gift for dad? We have the official daily dad jokes podcast electronic joke button now available on Amazon. A massive 500 preloaded dad jokes guaranteed to make you laugh and groan. Check the show notes page for the link.

3:06The daily dad jokes podcast is produced by classic studios. See the show notes page for social media links and joke credits. This show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience. Be careful with that block of cheddar. It's sharp.