[No Laughter Version] Chuck Norris didn't experience death. (+ 18 more dad jokes!)

0:00Chuck Norris didn't experience death. Death is experiencing Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. It just took death until today to build up the courage to tell him. When Chuck Norris got to heaven, St. Peter didn't ask, are you on the list? Instead he asked, would you like to review it? Chuck Norris didn't die. Chuck though Chuck Norris money. So he crossed over to force death to pay up. Chuck will be back. Chuck Norris doesn't get buried when he dies. He puts on the earth like a jacket. I think it's safe to say Mary is no longer a virgin. Since Chuck is in heaven, despite what you see in the news, Chuck Norris did not die. He fired death and took his job. Chuck Norris doesn't die. He just goes to the next level of opponents to defeat.

1:03Why couldn't Chuck Norris turn left? Because he was always right. The flu will be saving on health care moving forward. It used to get a Chuck Norris shot every year. Chuck Norris hasn't died. We all have. He is now in a universe of one. Chuck Norris once killed 20 men with a single grenade throw. He still keeps the grenade on his nightstand as a souvenir. Kanging there for more laughs and groans after this quick announcement. During Lowe's pro savings days, save more on what goes into the job. Add power to your lineup with a free to walk 20 volt max 5 amp hour battery when you buy a select to walk 20 volt max tool. Plus, get up to 35 percent off, select major appliances for world pool, maytag, and more. Get the job done right, keep more in your pocket, that's pro savings days. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's, valid to 3.27 selection fairs by location, all supplies

2:05last. Chuck Norris RIP only had one hand. The upper hand. When God told the grim reaper to claim Chuck Norris, the reaper said do it yourself. He still took God 86 years to build up the courage. Looking for some spicy love? Live no further by some clove at your local grocery market. What do tires reminisce about? The good years. I accidentally drank holy water with my laxative. I'm about to start a religious movement. A robot started attacking people on the street but ran out of power. It was then charged with battery. I'm Montgomery Jones, keep listening until the end of the episode for a bonus joke. We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans far and wide. Please share these jokes with your family and friends today. Looking for the gift for dad? We have the official daily dad jokes podcast electronic joke button now available on Amazon.

3:10A massive 500 preloaded dad jokes guaranteed to make you laugh and groan. Check the show notes page for the link. The daily dad jokes podcast is produced by classic studios. See the show notes page for social media links and joke credits. This show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience. This episode is brought to you by Athletic Brewing Company. No matter how you do game day, on the couch, in the crowd, or manning the snack table, athletic brewing fits right in. With a full lineup of non-alcoholic beer styles, you can enjoy bold flavors all game long. No hangovers, no buzz, no subbing out for water in the second half. Stuck the fridge for tip off with a variety of non-alcoholic craft styles available at your local grocery store or online at AthleticBrewing.com near beer, fit for all times. My father said is one door closes, another opens.

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