Nikaah for a Purpose Episode 2 – He Is the Problem

0:00I'm so fed up with that. I don't know, my husband and I are constantly fighting. I'm not going to deny it. Ask Himalana if I'm right. One right. The characters featured in the drama are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead or to actual events is purely coincidental. Previously on Diya Mulana, in the story Anika for a purpose, Ramesa came to meet Mulana Khan seeking to end her Nika with her husband Ayaz. Before taking any steps in this direction,

1:01Mulana explains the importance of first attempting mediation and facilitating some form of counseling. Ramesa agreed and began sharing her story. She explained how constant pressure and nagging from her mother pushed her into meeting potential partners. As Ramesa spoke to Mulana, their conversation was interrupted when her helper informed her that Ayaz had not yet come to relieve her and to watch the child. In today's story, we continue with Ramesa discussing her concerns with Mulana. Okay, I understand you might want to end your marriage, but we are just starting to discuss how you got married. Yes, I think I also need to just show you how it all fell apart, Mulana. And I just received a text from Ayaz. Turns out he managed to go to our daughter. I still have time. Anyway, where did I stop? You were telling me about how you were introduced to Ayaz.

2:02Oh yes. Oh yes. So after I found out that his wife passed away, I was willing to meet him. He came home with his uncle and Auntie Razia. He lost his parents when he was younger. And as a result, his auntie and uncle raised him. Your auntie told me about your fitness routine, so I made sure to try and keep it healthy. JazakAllah so much. I hope it wasn't too much trouble, auntie. No trouble at all, Ayaz. Not at all. Ramesa let us excuse ourselves. Then you can check to Ayaz. Okay, Mummy. Please show my mother. She has a habit of getting very excited. I hope this is not too overwhelming for you. No, not at all. It's actually nice to have someone else thinking about me for a change. It's been a long time since something was prepared especially for me. I know since chatting to you that it's been a few years without your wife.

3:02And I can't imagine how lonely it must be. But I have to ask, what are some of the things that you are looking for in this relationship if we have to go further? I think I must start by sharing with you. I never wanted to marry after losing my wife. In fact, when we first met, it was through a friend and I believed that she was the person that was meant to be with me forever. But unfortunately, as I discussed with you, it wasn't meant to be like that. I made peace with it. Only Allah knows why I was chosen to go through all this. Alhamdulillah, I have always been very independent. I can cook, do my own laundry and take care of myself. When it comes to my partner, I'm looking for someone to start a family with. I'm nearing 40 and I don't want to age alone. Companionship is important to me. I don't expect my partner to be into all the things I'm into, but she should understand that this is the life I love.

4:03Companionship is important to me. What about you? Why are you looking to get married? Well, just like you, I'm very independent. I earn my own money. I drive my own car. I don't have to ask anyone for anything. So I'm not getting married for any financial assistance. I'm very independent and I'm very thankful for that. The only reason I started considering speaking to people is because I was tired of my mother constantly telling me that I'm getting older and now end up settling. I don't care what other people think. But it becomes exhausting to have to listen to people telling me the same thing each time they see me. Anyway, for me, a relationship will also be about building and growing my own family. So I'm looking for that. That's good to hear. Can I ask why didn't you settle down sooner? Is there any reason that prevented you from wanting to get married?

5:06I think it was my career. My goal and focus in life was always to be financially stable and you never have to ask anyone for anything. I just kept working and growing my career. It's not like I wasn't approached in the past, but I didn't feel like getting into a relationship was for me at the time. But I think now I might be open to it. So what are your interests? I'm a gamer, but I've also taken up pedal. My friends insisted we do something other than just sitting on a couch playing games for hours. What about you? I've also played a little pedal. It wasn't really for me. I prefer the classes I do at the gym. I keep up with my fitness. I enjoy hikes and walks. But just like you, I don't expect my partner to love the things I do. So we do agree on that at least. I guess so. Looking back, I can see now that he was already telling me that he wasn't going to change.

6:11He just needed someone to be okay with his lifestyle of playing pedal and gaming. I don't think he was willing to change or just for a family. In fact, if I think about it, the only reason he probably wanted a family is because a lot of his friends had started families. Maybe he felt left out. I don't know why he always wanted to get married if his lifestyle was never going to change. Okay, so from the initial conversation, you both made it very clear what you all wanted from the marriage. I respect the transparency from both of you when the introduction took place. How long after did you and I asked decide to take it further? We spoke for a few more months. Eventually, after more outings and conversations, we decided that we would get married. So you could see about five months of spending time together. We got married. How are things when you guys got married? Helena, you know how it is. The first few months were good. We traveled a little and went out.

7:13But then things started changing. I just wanted to be home on some weekends. And then he would say, yeah, to go out with his friends. Or he had to go to a friend's house. If it wasn't pedal, it was online games. It started becoming a habit. Romi, I'm just heading out to Jamil's place. We're all meeting there and then heading to pedal. Again? What do you mean again, Romi? You guys just played pedal on Wednesday evening. And now it's Saturday. And you're playing again? So what's your point? According to you, we should only do this once a week. I can play it whenever I want. I told you this before we got married. I set it my computer all day. So when I get a chance to do a little bit of activity, I take it and these friends have been with me for a very long time. You cannot expect me to just drop them because I've got you in my life now. I never said you needed to. I'm just saying that it's Saturday night. We should be doing something together.

8:15So come along then. Let's go together and play pedal. You know, I don't really like it. And I don't like being around all your friends. Gosh, just go. I don't need your permission. I'll see you later. He left Molana. He didn't care about my feelings. Just that he wanted to play pedal and be with his friends. This can be very difficult, especially when you feel defeated and unable to get through to your loved ones. It got worse, Molana. I found out I was pregnant. We tried IVF and he took. I'll have the relapse for that. He knew the struggles we had and he took me being pregnant for granted. The one weekend I was so upset. Yes, you can't be serious. You're going away for the entire weekend. It's an out of down tournament. I can't help it.

9:16I am pregnant. How can you be so inconsiderate? Don't be silly. I told you to go to your mother's place or get her to come stay here. That's not the point. The point is you are leaving your pregnant wife to go take care of your hobby. You are being overly dramatic. Besides, Jamil's wife is also expecting yet he's coming along. She's having her third child. Exactly. She isn't making it an issue for him. So I don't get why you're making this an issue for me. Because I'm alone. What happened to you not needing anyone for anything? You don't need you and independent woman. You don't need me. You'll be fine. How could he do this to me, Molana? He just left me and went away. When he got back, he didn't even apologize. Eventually, when my child was born, it didn't change him either. I instead, we get a full-time nanny. If he wasn't going to make sacrifices, then I wasn't going to either.

10:23I kept working after my maternity leave. His lifestyle didn't change. I hope you can see now, Molana. Why I want to end this marriage. Look, Ramesa. I can tell this is frustrating. But I assure you, if counseling is done, things can't change. Let me speak to Ayah separately and both of you together. This way, we can try to look at the issues you both are experiencing and try to work on it. I don't know, Molana. What if there is no change? Look, you have a child involved. It's only right for us to try and work with the situation before you both separate. These issues can be managed with communication. Please. Let me try at least. Okay, Molana. I will give you his number to reach out to him. I also don't want to be accused of not giving this relationship a chance. Let me at least give him a chance to show he wants to change.

11:23JazakAllah Khairan, I will call him up and arrange a meeting. Okay, Molana. I really do appreciate it. JazakAllah so much. I'll wait to hear from you. Will Molana be able to assist Ramesa? Will Ayah be open to speaking to Molana about the challenges he is experiencing with Ramesa? Tune into tomorrow's story and a call for the purpose in our drama series, Diya Molana. Both stories, one guide.