My Mom Was My First Bully

Official Merch - NOW AVAILABLE!  In today’s episode, Kétlye opens up about growing up in a strict military household where being herself was never accepted. From physical punishment to being stripped of her dignity after coming out, she spent years believing she was the problem. Now, she’s sharing what really happened, what it’s taken to survive, and how she’s still trying to heal, forgive, and rebuild. This is a conversation about identity, family, shame, and what it means to keep choosing yourself— even when the people closest to you don’t. Ketlye's Links: Youtube: https://youtube.com/@cousinnchaos?si=eI8aKFJP5iUS9qT8 00:22:06 — Why do some children grow up feeling like they’re being dressed for someone else’s approval rather than their own comfort?00:22:42 — How does a parent’s idea of appearance shape a child’s self-identity long term?00:23:19 — Why are some kids restricted from certain toys or interests based on outdated gender rules?00:23:59 — What happens psychologically when a child’s harmless interests are repeatedly taken away?00:30:43 — How does fear of getting in trouble at home affect behavior at school?00:31:19 — Why do children panic when teachers threaten to contact their parents?00:31:56 — What does extreme distress in class reveal about what a child may be experiencing privately?00:32:54 — Why do small childhood mistakes sometimes trigger extreme consequences at home?00:33:50 — How do school confrontations escalate into larger issues when home life is already unstable?00:34:12 — Why do some kids confess immediately when confronted, even before being accused?00:34:35 — How do food-related punishments impact a child emotionally and physically?00:34:55 — Why do some punishments seem designed to humiliate rather than teach?00:43:53 — What leads a parent to remove a child’s ability to sleep in their own bed as discipline?00:44:33 — How do teens secretly attempt to cope with harsh living conditions at home?00:44:47 — What are the emotional effects of sleeping on the floor for long periods of time?00:45:22 — Why do certain household punishments continue for months without reconsideration?00:45:42 — How can strict household rules interfere with a teen’s educational future?00:46:01 — Why do some parents try to prevent their child from attending college out of anger or control?01:16:12 — Why do some young adults hide emotional struggles from their families after moving out?01:16:32 — What happens when someone seeks emotional comfort from a parent and receives none?01:17:02 — How does a parent’s emotional detachment affect a young adult during heartbreak?01:17:41 — Why do some people end up finding more emotional support in friends than in family?01:18:03 — How does seeing a partner’s healthy family highlight dysfunction in your own upbringing?01:20:31 — How does growing up in a strict or unstable home affect college life and independence?01:20:54 — Why can small moments of support from a parent feel overwhelmingly emotional after years of tension?01:21:20 — Why do some adults feel nervous sharing new relationships with their families?01:21:38 — What causes family reactions to shift when a child reveals romantic involvement?01:22:13 — How do unresolved family dynamics resurface during early adulthood transitions?01:45:15 — Why do some people resist therapy even when their behavior harms loved ones?01:46:26 — What does it mean when someone says “shame dies in safe spaces”?01:47:14 — How does a parent justify sleeping comfortably while enforcing harsh living conditions on their child? Topics: Family Trauma, Identity, Coming Out, Mother Wounds, Shame, Childhood Trauma If you have a unique story you'd like to share on the podcast, please fill out this form: https://forms.gle/ZiHgdoK4PLRAddiB9 or send an email to [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices