Missed Connections (3/16/26)

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3:09home in your 30s working in tech without the traffic and still being able to make it to your kids soccer game sounds pretty good in fact Ohio is the second most affordable state to buy a home your move learn more at your move ohio.com there's only two places to find true love in this world one is in the return line at Costco where nothing bonds two people faster than jointly judging someone who's returning a half feet and rotisserie chicken we see that you enjoyed it sir yeah we're enjoying you enjoying it the other is on the pages of Craigslist.org we scour that website every week to find the best misconceptions that they have to offer like this first one titled to number 92 what's your deal woman for man 28 downtown iserina she says your team was in town and I was the one sitting

4:13by the penalty box because that's where the bad boys end up eventually also it's the best place to watch fights which is basically hockey's version of flirting you were the cute one who kept getting slammed into the glass near me I had the sign that said XL XL for discount dental work my my boss gave me free tickets if I'd bring it with me at one point you noticed me and I swear you laughed or maybe you were just bleeding it was hard to tell you definitely heard me though when I yelled that my dad could beat you up what oh yeah that's just how I flirt okay it might work for a hockey guy yeah dad first after the game you looked at me one more time and that's when I flipped the sign over and it had my Instagram handle with a cartoon drawing of me holding my boobs well planned I'm surprised you still haven't DMed me yet so if you see this it's the girl by the penalty box who threatened you

5:19with her dad that's signed La Sandra not gonna be good if he gets it mixed up and there's more than one of them it's just a whole hockey arena full of them yeah I mean dads all over this next misconnection is titled roots and romance man for woman 55 east side hair salon oh I thought it was gonna be potatoes for some reason he says I went in for a haircut and some die because my ex-step daughter says my gray hair makes me look 15 years older and unfortunately I still care what she thinks that's when I noticed you we were both sitting under those big hooded dryers like two rotisserie chickens getting a light tan we started talking how you bragged about your Ivy League kids then I told you a story about how my ex-step daughter accidentally staples her own tongue when she was 15 really uplifting salon type of conversation oh man I told you your

6:24hair was shiny like a Labrador that just left the groomer it's a nice dog you know you didn't answer but you did give me a look that said I might actually enjoy this idiot then you left I asked the stylist for your number but they said they couldn't give it out because of privacy rules yeah apparently hairdressers have something called the clipocratic oath anyway if you're the shiny haired woman from dryer chair number two it's Ricky the guy with the motor oil hair and the child will be calling you soon to sell you an extended warranty oh my god so proud of his ex-step daughter he's already annoying to me say I think he was a good stepdad oh yeah well he cared a lot yeah let's go to your final misconnection it's titled like you like a latte oh okay I like you a lot woman for man I get it pretty too Starbucks

7:31she says I was at Starbucks with my laptop open pretending to work in reality I was playing Toka Boka hair salon for like a very serious adult that's a kids game that's when I saw you reading an Amazon new hire manual I asked if you got a job there you said no oh wait why are you reading them intriguing okay I told you my daughter had a ballet I told you my daughter had a ballet recital next door I'm not watching because I'm weirdly self-conscious about her beefy ankles you know you have great ankles don't listen to your mother you you nodded like that was a normal thing to say then we started talking about candles I asked your favorite scent you said fresh brewed coffee perfect I leaned over and blew hot coffee breath in your

8:38sexual way consider that a free sample I don't want more samples no then I went to buy a cake pop so we could split it I came back and you were gone oh no just vanished like a Toka Boka hairdo getting chopped off at the ear we should do more about this game understand we gotta download Toka Boka hair salon for after we're done with this she says if you see this that's Bella from Starbucks I never gave you my name I think he remembers the breath and also you need to Venmo me $1.50 for your half of the cake yeah that was awesome we're gonna do a phones have coming up right after this some people like working twice as hard just to stay right where they

9:38are and in Ohio we really don't get it because to us owning a home in your 30s working in tech without the traffic and still being able to make it to your kids soccer game sounds pretty good in fact Ohio is the second most affordable state to buy a home your move learn more at your move Ohio dot com military life isn't predictable but earning your master's degree can be with American military universities 40 plus flexible online masters programs you can stay mission ready while you get market ready learn anywhere anytime with an education built to keep pace steady reliable and always accessible plus military service members veterans and their families can save up to 45% on master's tuition with AMU special rates and grants learn more at amu.apus.edu steady through every mission Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile the message for everyone paying big wireless way too much please for the love everything goodness world stop with mint you can get

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