Mindful Presence Mastery | How Assumptions Build Your Reality

0:00Everyone has the power to choose who they want to be and if we own that power we can be that person. The obstacles are not in our way. The obstacles are on our way. Sometimes we've got to lean into the cost of that safety which we often don't do. Our thoughts can become our own echo chamber of thoughts. We build on them and we build on them and sometimes. If you find an excuse you don't want it in our, if we can change our thoughts then you can change you as well. You can change who we are. The reality that is, does it serve you or not? Does it help you or hinder you? Harry, good to see you my friend. You are looking fresh and fine and actually you've had quite an interesting week but you're looking good. You're looking good. To be honest this is because I slept last night and that's unusual because I didn't sleep at all the night before I've got to say. So Saturday night was the closing party. Actually pretty cool is in this I guess natural museum. I think it's what it was called an outdoor party. Those in party at Mind Valley. So those didn't quite allow to have that. So you've been at Mind Valley. So yeah the last two weeks have been here in in the Stonian talent and the closing party was in this big field. I haven't posted anything online

1:00about it yet but I will do like with performances and five performances and a DJ thrown in from my beef. Like all in the open air and then there was an after party and I was there to the end by myself in the end. Darts and the tunes were quite good and I was feeling the rhythm that night and so I think I finished up there around six o'clock in the morning on Sunday morning. After not having really slept Friday night which I'll tell you about of Friday. So I think I had three hours sleep on Friday night. Had a little CS down Saturday then did the party. Got back about six just could not sleep. Then I had my morning dips that I do with people. So I went straight to that and then hung out with people for a couple of hours in my place and actually one of the things I've been doing a bit of recently is slacklining which I'd like to talk about from my mindfulness perspective in a moment. Then we went to this amazing spa where they have 22 different rooms and different rituals so you can put like mud on you or shave butter or they have a really hot sauna. There was 100 person sauna which was a bit of a disco rave in there. So

2:01that was quite good. But then last night I just went to bed probably a bit late probably about one o'clock in the morning but I moved my morning workout and dips to 10 o'clock so I slept till 930 which was quite good. So that's one feeling fresh and I've been in a little bit of sun I guess. And did you cold dip? I saw online on New Year's time every single day we're getting any meditation and yoga in as well. Yeah so the way it's structured is we do 10 minutes mobility which is a bit of a yoga-resk type mobility routine for 10 minutes and that's usually so at 830 every day we've been doing it consistently and then for 10 minutes is mobility slash yoga then for 10 minutes it's strength-based. They've got this amazing outdoor gym with decent leg press, decent bench press all that sort of stuff. And then the last 10 minutes we jump in the water and it has been very read and temperature like at the beginning of the first week 16 towards the end of the first week it went down to 9.9 which is your almost your ice-flop ferritory. Yeah that was pretty cold and then it's crept up again and now it's hovering around 18 and in the evenings around 20 because I sometimes go in the evening

3:06but it's been amazing that it's been quite exhausting because I set a goal if you like of going every day and previously I did it every day but I didn't do it the same time and this time I wanted to make sure people came along for the ride and so you have to have a consistent time right because achieving goals, setting goals all of that a lot of it is about consistency right sticking the course. So yeah people would come up to me so many people come up to me saying oh you know I really want to do this and I keep joking to them as they if I had a dollar for every time someone said oh I wanted to do I'm going to join you tomorrow whatever I'd have paid for my entire trip at my valley and then today this guy joined he was flying out today and he joined and he said that it was something I said the other day because he said something similar like oh you know I really want to do it and I just ran bullshit I mean that at the end of day if you want to do it just do it I'm through talking with people who are I like this new Harry I like this pull it out I'm always being like that in terms of this sort of thing if like people say they've got these goals they want to set these things and I'm somewhat similar in certain ways but the difference is when I like

4:06people were asking me why don't you do lay it to like 930 or what do you do this because I was kind of tired sometimes I don't know because I made a commitment I said I was going to do it that's a lot of way it's and so if I break my own word then you lose a little bit of self-esteem every time you break your own word and so I have now shifted it for this week to be 10 o'clock because there's no like hub activities to go for at 10 o'clock but before it had to be eight days so people would shower whatever but what I've loved about it is built into that bucket of communities so a lot of the time one of my friends came every single day pretty much and come up here shower would make our movies well my movie and it have some but progressively especially on the weekends more more people started coming and a lot of them were saying I mean all of them were saying I'm like oh this amazing way to start the day and this is like the best bit and I've had so many people I'm like I guess I'm well known in the community because I post it and the calendar entry is the daily dip with Harry so everyone kind of knows the daily dip with Harry I made sure I put that in the title of the activity and so I have people count those people coming up to me saying thank you and

5:07sending nice messages or even if they just come once they're like the fact that you were so consistent the fact that you were always posting the fact that you were encouraging I would never have done this without you and even I could only come once for x-ray over at z-reason like you know about childcare issue. We've had the preferred doing things just like this the whole you know when as someone else doing it first we're more like to step into the water. I don't want to repeat well we've talked about last episode about manifestation right but we've talked last time about laws of attraction the action being the most important part of that and yet those people are going I'd love to do it but they don't take the action to do it right and it's like everyone has the power to choose who they want to be and if we own that power we can be that person but we've got to take the action to do it like it's too easy sometimes I think if you find an excuse you don't want it enough yeah I mean enough like you want to be better you want to feel better you want to feel fitter you got to really want it. I have to say losers find an excuse winners find a way and that's just the reality and the guy that came today actually it's interesting because I would say about this is it's very context specific because there are things I'm quite successful in doing

6:09which I would say hover around the health well being aspect of things but there are loads of things that I'm less successful at doing even though I know what to do and so for example this guy I won't mention his name but he came along and we often just tread water in the water and chat it's an opportunity if someone not really swimming we're just kind of chatting and he was saying how he did one of the mastery programs for mind value so mind value have different online programs but the mastery ones are where they have lots of different teachers and they're specific cohorts they'll run them once a year and whatever and they did I think he did the wealth mastery one or some title similar he said there was 105 there was either 105 or 110 people on his cohort they all got the same information but only five really became successful at that mastery of things and so now he's financially free and there's only been a couple of a few years but he sources deals and buys and renovates properties and none of his own money down so they have all these amazing teachers that come on including the mentor I think of Richard Dad, Paul Dad, Robert Kierzaki I can't remember

7:15his name but he's in his 80s now so he came on and he wrote some very famous books and he just applied that but he was saying most of the work he does is mental it's mindset related it's not mechanics and totally Robin's talks about this all the time about 89% of it is mindset and the 10% mechanics and so he is doing that but then he has still those limiting self beliefs about his like workouts so he actually didn't want to come a lot of time because often I'm posting pictures of us before and after whatever jumping in the sea and he don't want to come because he don't want to be in the pictures or whatever and so he's got issues where he knows the theory of being in shape but not the practice. All right there's always a cost right so I love the saying that you're only six inches away from achieving what you want in life right this is between your it's but if you want it's not saying you can't have your cake and eat it of course you can in many instances but in that you know I don't know this guy but if he's spent all his time becoming financially free first and that's where his attention's been so that he's not into fitness and being healthy but there's usually a cost something has to give up like maybe he gets and gets his fitness but then his home life suffers because he's got less time with the kids I've been there as

8:18you know I run a business I've done Iron Man and things like that but when I do those two things at the same time my family life suffers you know that it's a cost of me not being with my kids as much I spend more time with my kids I'm doing it a minute then my health you know my fitness suffers I'm still healthy and fit but I'm not as fit in Iron Man level so as you said he's doing what we've spoke on this episode this show is called Mind for Pass is doing these things with awareness and choice and going back to the idea that everyone has the power to choose who they want to be but make that choice with awareness rather than excuse yeah I mean that's it one of the things someone commented today and they were talking about how they really enjoyed the swims and I said in the book Super Vitality I talk about this ABC to success which we've talked about before in this show awareness for a B for behavior change and then C where most people fall down this consistency and you just got to stay consistent a lot of time with these actions that provided their working of course and you know you've got to take it a B and see if they're working or not but you know it's that consistency that really counts and actually you know I was talking to a friend

9:21of mine last night so this is why I went to bed around one in the end I went to the spa till about 10 and then a couple of good friends of mine are leaving to go back to North Carolina like husband and wife and they come with their three children and they rent this nice apartment in town so I've stopped by there she's super successful as a dentist but she has an online business that she teaches other dentists because her passion is helping patients for the best way of helping patients is helping other dentists and whatever else and she launched probably about seven years ago she was saying a product that she invested I think she had $50,000 that she was going to buy a car with instead put it all in to launch in this course and whatever made I think she said 75,000 from it so she made you know I think she had 38 sales or whatever it was $1500 or something like that to get the money but and then just kept investing I mean I don't know what she has now but she has just built the most amazing house in North Carolina so I think she does quite well but like she's got a very good mindset with it because also she's had the tangible benefits and I'm kind of I know

10:22the theory and a lot of these things and we think it's easy are you just put a product up you direct people to that product page and you make money they make it sound easy yeah but you take that risk at the start there's the risk at the start I mean which you know many people take but then it's very unlikely that the first time you take that. How many people listen to this show right now you know I make and ask themselves this rhetorical question would be willing to sell their car to put into the venture that they know most of us have an idea at the back of our minds the book the venture and put it all in and go all in and not many do I mean that you know vision drives decision and whether that is the guy you mentioned earlier around you know I want to be wealthy I want to be financially free from my mortgage or whatever that vision will draw the decisions he took next and if you want to be fit in healthy and you want to have a great body then that vision should drive your next decision to get there yes it goes that's the manifestation piece we were talking about in the last episode but I think you know in the example you gave there's an element of risk and sometimes we have a negative bias like it's within us not to take risks to stay on the side of

11:23caution and safety and as you know I talk a lot about fear that's my passion sometimes we've got to lean into the cost of that safety which we often don't do you know sometimes by staying safe we don't realize there's a cost attached to that safety which is you know you sometimes live a life and you look back and go 10 years ago I wish I'd done this or well I did not take that risk I've got my car but what does it mean to me like often we know that the Joneses will buy a house they'll get a better income a pay rise in five years they'll buy a bigger house a better car you just need a car and I move over here we don't have to keep going up the land of that way you've got a friend I think we talked about it last time or a couple of episodes ago being in the same job same company 25 years he's planning early retirement at 55 is you know that's a decision that's a decision exactly I mean whether it's a hundred percent conscious decision or not because I'm wondering if he was exposed to say the realities that I'm seeing in places whether he would have different vision for his life or not I don't know that but I think one of the things I heard I don't think we mentioned it last week one of things I heard you talked about risk now one of the speakers say is that yeah all successful

12:28people are risk takers but not all risk takers are successful and I think that's an important distinction because I think about people like Elon Musk they took a risk right loving more hate him and he's you know got his issues but you know he made a killing out of his PayPal sale but then he took that hundred million dollars and invested you know 80% into SpaceX and 20% into Tesla and was sleeping on the couch with the song on his house so he's taken massive risks to get to where he has you've taken risks when you started your business and you constantly take risks I think I take risks in certain other areas but actually I took one of that risk maybe we'll talk about Friday night right so Saturday night was a closing party Friday was the closing ceremony which happens in the middle of the day and then a bunch of us came for a swim after here but then there was different competing parties I went to something which has been running for a few years here at my valley university called Liberation which I've never been to one except for the tail end of ones but previously they had separate cohorts like a woman's cohort and a men's cohort and it just got them into their masculine into their feminine whatever this was slightly different it was mixed

13:30from the beginning and it was like a stage show I want to call it basically strip teas there's no two ways about it they asked me to do one years ago and I said no and then this time I was playing this game that one of the speakers on the first day said which was the not me game so whenever you come across an opportunity they asked not me yeah I'm not the kind of person that's gonna do that you split the switch it's a bit like when I did public stand-up comedy 15 years ago as soon as I got their emails like there's no way I think go John Grinder from the founder of NLP said if you can't then you must and so I thought yeah there's no way I can do that then I must do it I agreed on the Wednesday and the Wednesdays when I did my back in actually and his maybe with self-conscious I was trying to get out of it and then I did my toe in I think on the Thursday potentially slacklining which actually quite quick sidebar before I get into the Friday night story I don't know if you've done much slacklining yeah well I've found about it it's literally down the bottom of my balcony I haven't done it today actually because my mate wasn't around but it's very meditative and very mindful and what I'm noticing is that when I've been most successful at

14:33doing it it's when I'm not obviously you'll have to go through the awkward or conscious learning aspect of it before you become unconsciously competent but I find that as a very mindful practice right almost like I know if I'm really in the flowing yoga things disappear right same with this when I did my free diving I think we talked about free diving it was very meditative it was similar with that I mean the stakes aren't as dramatic with that compared to free diving if you mock up but I'm thinking I'm actually gonna get a slackline actually for the garden because I found it quite therapeutic to just walk across and also you build the confidence quite quickly because it's not like really really a long time for you to get reasonably good at it so anyway that's the sidebar so come Friday I call you know what I've got a couple of excuses why I can't do this but then I was thinking like I said before right winners find a way lose this find an excuse I could have found an excuse and it would have been a justified excuse because I was yeah not really and I thought you know what I'll do it anyway and so I did it and I must admit I had some people

15:33asked me there we go what did you drink before and I was like to be fair I had three double tequila's before I went on fifth Dutch courage but I was originally going to come on just in a waistcoat and trousers and then my friend said oh look you know why don't you put a shirt over the waist curtain a jacket so I thought you know and string it out so I was never going to take up my trousers that wasn't like my factor because also with this is largely about performance it's largely about stepping out of the comfort zone it's not about I mean a few people got those boxes there was a couple of guys who took the whole thing off and just covered I won't leave a little bit to the imagination right yeah I think it because I was quite late on and I saw some of those guys do that and it didn't look very good because they weren't the trousers that you rip off there so you kind of feeling about it and then you're just in like but it just looked weird I don't think the girls stripped I mean a couple of girls stripped to like bra and on the type things I think but honestly I wasn't really paying attention to any of that because I was focused on my own nerves or whatever drinking the tequilas but as I got on and I was dancing to the one from magic mic you know that song pony oh yeah no yeah it's the only but song I was going to do it too and and so I have to say

16:36there is a video I'm not going to share it but maybe when we're next meet I'll show you on my phone because you won't allow to record obviously except for your friend could record your own performance and mine was not too bad but the problem I had was that the song was really long in the end it was four minutes plus you were thankful with the extra layers well I was except for they got quite they came off reasonably quickly and then the DJ didn't know what was going on so they started talking about oh ladies take his trousers off and they took my belt off and I was like dude man that's further than I was going to go with the belt and so I had to effectively fudge it a little bit so I brought a couple of girls up on stage dance with them and then I still was like this is not ending so I brought someone else it was really painful to watch back if I'm honest but I think I did an okay job I think people saw it they said it was quite good and like I said it would mainly a dance and performative and you went out into the crowd and I had a hat on and so you can't really see what I'm doing but it looks like I'm kissing some of the girls or whatever but I'm not and they were all okay with it because if you were in certain rows you were okay with having interaction now you've

17:37done it are you glad you did it well yeah so the idea is called liberation and so this is the point I was going to make about taking risks and you know taking yourself outside of your comfort zone and that was massive stretch outside of my comfort zone of course I mean I'm not with my shirt off I'm on the beach all the time with that off whatever but it's a little bit different when you're on stage and more that you're performing it and I hadn't rehearsed I hadn't practiced what I was going to do and it was all off the cuff but it was very liberating and it was it was freeing and there was nothing bad came of it right like maybe some good even came of it right from my personal perspective maybe more good would have come if I had liberate myself even further to like yeah other things but yeah I was good and there was a few other people there who most of them were first time performers it makes me think of being the idea that as you know my view I don't really believe in luck I believe in being prepared for opportunity and there's other people ways that we will put it you took the opportunity right and I've something does come off it that's not lucky that you've secured that as because you put yourself out there took a risk and let's see where it goes if nothing else

18:41you differently now and go right you know what I was liberating he didn't mind he wasn't bothered all people think of him and there's a confidence that comes across some people don't think that I'm trying to teach my kids why suddenly in particular I don't want to dance because I was embarrassing and people laugh at me I was like you don't realize in my opinion I'm not saying the ways of how what people find necessarily attractive will not but my personal view is you're more attractive doing the thing that you're passionate about doing that you want to deal with the dance for even if you're a terrible dancer if you go in 100% and go all out and commit to what you're passionate about I think you'll win more hearts and minds than being stuck on the side of it when you want to be on the dance floor but you're too nervous for everybody else thinks there is you could be the geekiest nerdiest worst dancer in the world right if you do it with complete conviction I think you win the hearts and minds of everyone around you and there's a level of respect they go you know what good road for in their own size reflect and go I want to feel like that yeah I want to be able to actually do that so she does I think it's interesting to say that because I was showing the video on Saturday night to a few of my friends who weren't at the event

19:43and I've known them several years and maybe a couple of them are like friends of friends close with friends of friends rather than friends of mine but this time and there was a switch I think once they watched the video because they were like oh my god my man how are you that's cool and like originally before they saw worst video they were saying there's nothing no way I could do that sort of start and then afterwards they're like yeah maybe I'll do that and they're inviting me their home country as well to come and visit and I've known some of these people for years but it hasn't been as close and then suddenly I think they realized oh he's even more cool than I realized or something like that right and he just went for it and so it was very liberating to do that and I think for those listening there's probably something obviously that have to go and strip on stage that's not what I'm saying here but there's something that's gonna make you feel uncomfortable there's something that you get to feel like I can't do it then you know provided it's somewhat safe right yeah just maybe just do it and think about I wouldn't even necessarily think about what the worst that can happen is I know that's a so it practice is to think about the worst and we've talked about this before I think on the show where you picture yeah negative yeah it's task-wise negative

20:47visualization which can work as well wouldn't have worked for me in this particular case but I don't know if I thought of the worst thing I probably wouldn't have done it but I think this brings into focus more the three principles element of Sydney Banks I would say the idea that we often have what is an inside out problem right so we often feel our thinking not our circumstances and we don't think dictate how we act if we change our thinking you can change how you feel instantly and actually we think something is an issue because we get so in our own head so that's what I said there's six inches between our ears is the most powerful little opportunity for us to make a difference your circumstances though are different and actually you just embraced it you've come out and potentially you've changed your circumstance on the back of a brave or courageous decision for many I think and also you know going back to what you're talking about what did you say about Sydney Banks what did he say quite like that well he was the the three principles he talks about many people suffer is an inside out problem yeah right so we focus all of our intentions on the outside what people think of us you said about feeling or I thought

21:47it's become yeah so if you change away you think you change away you feel but yeah so we're feeling our thinking about our circumstances yeah that's it so we're feeling our thinking not our circumstances so this really resonates with me over this last week and since we kind of focus a little bit off air but so I won't go into it again now but where my thinking on Saturday night and so just to bring listeners up to date I'm not gonna tell you everything but yeah I did meet someone on you know one of the days a different person that you always meet lots of people here and we were vibing really well and had lots of chat and whatever else at the party though she after I think she'd done something the past but she decided to take some certain substances let's just say which were somehow available to her and then she changed a little bit as you would expect but also how to disappear off with another guy into a special kind of speaker only area most of night and I thought after three days of us vibing together we'd spend more time there and she seemed keen when she got there and kind of meeting me and hanging out a bit I have no idea what happened right maybe she

22:50was just as long as I've got so many stories in my head about what happened it was like driving me crazy I've no I still have no idea because I'm not gonna you know it's gone now she's gone back to her home country we had very loose text on Sunday and I'm not gonna ask her what happened with the guy or not the guy or whatever but it does eat you up a bit because you're like I have no idea and so for all I know nothing right maybe she threw up passed out went home whatever I know this she was knackered but I've created a whole thing so the circumstance isn't detained my experience to all my feelings my thinking as determined it and I think this is the case for you know for lots of people so it is yeah the most people in fact so I have no idea what happened and it's also about what you focus on because I'm thinking okay I like this girl but yeah there are lots of girls here I got on with and I know lots more probably liked me and when people sometimes ask me why I'm single whatever one of the things I share I need to find the meme I don't know if you've seen the meme but Seinfeld the character George Costanza I don't watch Seinfeld that much but he's the short

23:55bald one and there's a meme and it says you know why you're single or something and he says when I like them they don't like me when they like me I don't like them and it's and I was like well that's basically it really isn't it but interestingly so on Thursday night there was this VIP party which I decided to gay crash because I wasn't paying for VIP effectively it's ridiculous it's like an extra thousand dollars to do VIP and all you get is from row seating or not even from row because they have a different class for front row but higher priority seating and then two parties so 500 dollars for a party I couldn't crash the first one for whatever reason nothing to screw it was a bit too tight but the second one it was a bit easier so I kind of crashed that but before we did that we were having a rooftop drink at my mate's house which is quite good and my friends without me knowing I was chatting to some people there within about five minutes this guy he has some AI app or whatever but they created this song and I'm gonna send it to you later because I think you'll do it sounds interesting but it was about me obviously and it was done with a couple of prompts and it's

24:56actually got quite a good beat but it's so appropriate probably to me I think it was talking about your gripping on too tight let it go and then something about the stock talking don't block your own cock has to get well I'm sorry for those listening and and it was kind of funny and it was and my friend she's got it at home as you're playing it on the beach she said like all of Saturday after me she just loved it there's probably some learnings in there though maybe some self reflections in the band stuff right? Self-reflection is what I sort of feel is that like especially this last week like I say always taking a couple of weeks to gain to it but I really felt more the connection this is the point is that you know people know me well enough as well know that I can take a little bit of a ribbing a little bit of the joke but also if they don't care about you they're not going to go to the effort of maybe even making up a funny song or whatever else and so I love that connection that we have unfortunately next year so it could be one week long but we'll probably give them a couple of insights around how and as you said a lot of people struggle with this I say everyone probably does right and so if you're bringing about to city bank siley so I think it's relevant so here's three principles I don't want to sort of say his three principles are people

25:58knowing what they are three principles around mind which is the source of all of our thoughts and experiences the consciousness which is our awareness of the world around us and in the thought which is the power that creates our experience of reality and that's the bit if we can change the way we think about something we can change our whole experience of the reality around us and I think when you've got that awareness and you can understand it it allows you to shift and pivot much more easily and not maybe go so far down the well when we think you know because our thoughts can become our own echo chamber of thoughts and we build on them and we build on them and suddenly what was an acorn of a problem becomes a tree of issues by the end of it with his own branches well then as this and she's probably doing this where he's doing that and actually we just have you know it's understand that our thought is the power that creates our experience if we can change what we think we can change the way we feel we can change the way that we experience the world with our conscious mind because that's our awareness of the world around us right that allows us to experience our thoughts and our feelings so in a how we can be present in the moment I just think they're so interconnected I'm just listening to you chat there and you're sort of different thoughts

27:00of popping in as you're talking and whereas led you into different spaces yeah everyone including myself with the same and you were talking about memes and the reason I wanted to bring it up as I mentioned the last episode we celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary yeah and I saw a poster on Instagram and it resonated with me oh well I should say a couple of things first is we gave each other the same card which I thought was really interesting of all the cards in the world and we've done it two years running we bought the same anniversary card two years running which had maybe just in sync with those things we both saw the same Instagram post and I brought up it to my wife Lucy Adina and she is like oh my god I saw the same post because she finished the conversation for me so she knew about it but the post was quite simple there's long lines of Instagram a kind of scrolling carousel of images where an old guy is telling his granddaughter the success of why he's been able to marry and in love with his partner for so long and he's like the person I love now is not the person I fell in love with the beauty of the reason I have someone to love for the partner now is because I have to continually refall in love with the person they become because every five ten years or whatever there are different person the beliefs change the hobbies change the

28:03passions change hormones change values change kids grow up change and the person you marry isn't the same person 10 years on 20s on 30s on every anniversary that you go through and I thought it was really true I was like so the beauty of it of never giving up of always making an effort with your partner is because you're always refalling in love you're always showing that individual the love them who they are now rather than who they were when you met and not getting stuck in the person you met and I was getting used to be different we used to be like this and all these things I watched this and it I thought was a really lovely moment because I was thinking that Lucy's changed a lot since we've been together and I love the person she is now as much sort of a person she was them but they're not the same person they are but they're not if that makes sense no we're not she's like oh my god I saw the same post like she finished the story and it's like we're forwarding in love again and we're 19 year ready anniversary and what we're going to be like on our 20th and it's you know we had a chance to share the people we are now but bring that back it me very easy for my thoughts so I've got the better of me and gone she's different now you know she's gone through paramedics hallmurally she's different things have changed I'll hope he's

29:05of change is interesting and the same the other way around very easy to get into my own head and go it's not working or you know this morning the person that's gone maybe and not set it right in the person that's now here our mind is so powerful our thoughts are so powerful and it's just being the powerful effect that we give them as you were talking a little bit earlier and you you were talking about the tree and everything it's like everything right if you and we've talked about the two wolves before that story about it one has one you feed and it's the same with your thoughts and the thoughts are temporary and often when I close I've kind of given up teaching yoga now but when I was teaching yoga I tended to tell people right that the thoughts just treat them like clouds in the sky that are passing through your window frame right they're coming in and they're going out and you just let you can't hold on to the clouds try not to hold on to those thoughts right recognize they're not really you and that they're just there entering and let them exit as effortlessly as they came in and we are not our thoughts anymore then the radio that you listen to is the radio station that you

30:08happen to be playing it's just what you're tuned into at that particular time and I think I get caught up with I'm a big thinker as you probably know and somewhat obvious if Virgo's tend to be thinkers I don't know much about star stars but I know that whenever I read what a Virgo typical is I'm a typical Virgo in many ways which is you know actually not a bad thing at all right make great loyal friends for one but we are somewhat thinkers right we are people that like to serve other people as well not necessarily people that are at the limelight but we're the person supporting the person in a way but we are thinkers and one of the ways to get out I think in and I was thinking about it ironically today is it's now post mind valley so most people have gone there's a few that still remain and I've created a little group for us to find out who but as I was here today I was pottering around the flat a little bit more and I wasn't really hanging out with people and that gave me more opportunity to think and not all thinking it's good thinking and so what I was going to say is the best way out of thinking for most people and from what I've seen experienced and read is action doing something just doing something physical and I don't mean

31:13going and working out I mean just doing something right you might volunteer at a soup kitchen you might get on the phone so when you might get on a podcast with someone whatever the thing is do something to take the brain out of the equation and more you sit around in thing but more you feed it that's the key right we are the thinker not the some of our thoughts and I think we often believe with the two those two things are the same and they're not either thinker not the thought right and the thoughts as you said can be a cloud that goes past the window you can think something else instantaneously if you want to you can see a new cloud pass by you told me how to meditate initially and that was very much focused on the cloud idea to begin with that was how I started my meditative journey was you saying to me let just look imagine clouds and passing by and so I can resonate with that with the idea being if we can change our thoughts then you can change you as well you can change who we are we don't have to always adhere to the first thought that comes in or even the second the third of the fourth we have the ability to think whatever we want and we can change our thinking process so we are always the thinker but we're not the thought and then not they are different things yeah that can separate from that's why you and I can be in the same space

32:18looking at the same thing but we're thinking totally different things right but our experience that we're feeling are the thoughts right that's why our thoughts create our experience of reality and it only takes one word to go in it you do realize that's fake right yeah suddenly I'm thinking something really different that's oh my god didn't know that and it just it's also not even just the thoughts that you're thinking it's it's so as I talk about in definitely supervisality for other books as well probably the three things that dictate your state right is what you pay attention to but which is the thoughts that are happening or you know what you're observing but then the second bit is the meaning or language that you assigned to those things right so we can both be at the same party we're having that different experience because one of you you listen to the music say it's awesome I'll be at that same party going that girl's gone off with that guy all right and so I'm gonna pay attention to different things create a different meaning from things and I'm gonna feel very differently and so the third bit of it being action as well taking action to change your state so you know just dancing for example is going to change your state from being maybe depressed

33:19about the girl to actually enjoy in time with your friends on the final night that you're going to see them and so I was going to jump in on the thinking part as in where they think because I'm not even 100% sure that's true I don't even think where to think like who's doing the thinking this is going to get quite metaphysical and esoteric but I'm not 100% sure where the thinker either I don't know who the thinker is I would have that's fine I believe that I am the thinker but I'm not some of my thoughts that's okay but I understand where you go with this because you've been coming you've come from a mind valley element of the universe as well and the order of things oh well this is before mind valley for sure but I mean I guess it's the this idea of ego soul spirit might it's like when talking about the mind where is the mind people will point to the brain but that's not the mind that's the brain and there's intelligence throughout the body but also my experience the body is some kind of our classify the mind as the source of all our experiences and thoughts now it doesn't have to be the mind because you can experience things in the body so it doesn't have to be is yeah yeah so specific as an all is the self I don't know this is all

34:23kind of deep stuff probably not for it question for another show although they maybe think of something which we've talked about a lot and actually you talked about how sometimes we can disrupt I think it's the right word a negative thought patterns often which we're referring to really when we're feeling lower whatever and we catastrophize with an action which is absolutely right go and do something but also I think there's something that we've talked about a lot on every episode pretty much we've ever delivered it over 100 years we've done which is reminding yourself of this too shall pass they're okay yeah I'm catastrophizing now this is the worst thing but this too shall pass with ill pass you know time will heal all things and you just go to trust the process even last week where I said at the beginning of the week I had you know I was a little bit myth and heartbroken that someone had this me but then I was somewhat saying this too shall pass as well and then the next day met someone who I thought was even better that there were that was short lived because she was only here for a few days nothing happened but and then someone else you know you meet people with a time so in even the feeling that I've got with the girl that this me on saturday night it's like it's starting to ever wait or it has really empty way

35:23and I've got it as well you've helped me thank you so I remind myself and naturally I tell a lot of students my main stress coping mechanism is to understand that this too shall pass my back a cry now it was a bit worse today I went from massage it feels a lot better actually but either way good or bad it's gonna pass yeah so I've the reason I've got lost as I mentioned we were talking about this is newer inclusion which has that very little to do with what I was going to bring up but we got into conversation around lessons what's the greatest lesson you've discovered is I finished with a vault whilst four short shop questions and it's like the life is tough and when you realize life is tough weirdly it becomes a lot easier like it's really hard all the way up to the point until you realize that it's hard does that make sense and when we accept it there's a level of acceptance in here you're not just thinking that we were born to be great the minute we're born and we're the center of the universe and everything's around us and the ego you mentioned earlier when certain things happen and life experience will throw things at us and I think that creates depth of character anyway because we go through these challenges these small T traumas these bigger

36:28T traumas whatever they are not be very surprised if anyone listening to this hasn't been through something that's challenged them somewhere it's the acceptance that life is a real challenge it's difficult is why we often think negatively about all kinds of things because we know that around the corner there's going to be another challenge thrown at us but I do think there's an element where sooner we come to that point of acceptance that doesn't mean given up running like that just the acceptance there are going to be more challenges that it is going to be difficult and we have to navigate our way through that this too shall pass whether that's injury, mental, something outside of us fear of control I think we can enjoy it a little bit more in the account terms with what it's you know with having an impact on it and being able to navigate it more effectively I believe that to be true I didn't raise that as the response but I reflect on it when she gave it to me I think it's interesting I think it's true and not true at the same time so what I mean by that is but your language defines your reality as well and there's usually I remember listening to Tony Robbins audio 15 years ago and he talked about some really interesting concepts one being a

37:31primary question which is there's a question that we ask ourselves over and over and over again we don't realize we're asking it but we're asking it for example I think his words I think how can I make this better right yeah and mine is somewhat similar like whenever I see something there's inherently how can I make this better approach to it right could be anything from cooking a dish to the layout of a house to whatever but there's also a primary way how we see life so in your example that woman she says life is tough right mine is somewhat different I don't say a mission but like adventure slash mission which obviously if you watch a romance in the stone adventure mission there's always problems right there's always challenges that arise and so yes life is tough but it might be that really what you mean by that is there's going to be obstacles we're going to be challenges but if your problem thing is like okay I see life like a video game right it could be challenges you're going to get killed you have to write reset you enter those challenges in a somewhat different frame of mind than saying life is tough no I agree look what's saying we have our life mantra

38:33needs to be the life is going to be difficult because that's just not good energy right I accept that as well I'm not a client I think I talked about it before coaching Claren he said you know Nick I just always thought I'd have a life for princess and a Disney movie and it hasn't worked out I haven't found that prince and shining arm I was like no what was the last time you really watched any kind of Disney movie like it's full of witches and poison and loss and going what about the bandy with a mother dies at the start or liking whatever it is like they are full it's saying we just remember the happy ending at the end right that's the bit the sticks in the mind of the happy wedding the princess of the ball we usually to make those stories work you forget all there and I don't know where you are in your Disney story right now I'm not here to answer that question but I'm here for you as I'm coaching you to reflect on you're just on that journey of challenge but that doesn't mean the happy ending isn't there yet like let's strive towards that 100% like and your whole ethos around the thorge is it the in-yang signal I know you've changed it around right but you can't enjoy the beauty in the world and the happiness bit without understanding there's a darker side to it because that's what makes it great it's like getting

39:34to the top of every so I talk about many times it looks amazing at the top not just because the highest mountain in the world because there's a it's a real journey to get there it's a real struggle that's what makes it so breathtaking at the top like if I meet you at the top when you flow in there it's not the same thing but I think you need that yin and yang that challenged in order to really enjoy absolutely the brighter side of it I'm sure we've mentioned Ryan Holiday before he's but the obstacles away right yeah I remember thinking I heard the speaker say this once and they really resonate with me you've probably heard it before but as we go through life we keep thinking that you know life the universe throws obstacles in our way but they're not thrown obstacles in our way the obstacles are not in our way the obstacles are on our way and that shifted something that's shifted something to me it's like the obstacles aren't in the way they're on the way they're not away and when it comes to I think we talked about this before but forgive me we haven't or forgive me if we have but I mentioned it to someone in conversation about a week ago where we're talking about challenge right now I'd mention it in super vitality as well which is the biosphere too where

40:35they create this habitat where it was to mimic living on Mars and the scientists have to live in there for 180 days or two years or whatever it was without any contact with me outside well they put everything in they needed plants and food and whatever but what they found was that not the plants the trees when the trees grew they kept falling over and they couldn't figure it out they had the right soil they were watering it they had sunlight they had all the things and they couldn't figure out why the trees when they got to a certain height just kept collapsing and then they realized that there was no wind in the biosphere and so they added wind to create stretch to create resistance to force the roots to grow strong right it's the pure for example teahabekar talks about it's the roots create the fruits right and you need to have strong roots and strong foundations in order to build something substantial on the surface and I found that as to be a real like example of life right it's the stress that creates another tool about you stress yeah yeah and so that's what I'm saying the obstacle

41:39is not in the way it's on the way it's there for a reason and but if you do see life as and I'm not saying you do or this woman does but that's just the words described as tough you might feel that everything is piled up on you if you see as a mission or an adventure or whatever thing is for you as a person you might see those challenges and obstacles as you know another thing that you need to be at the computer game of life yeah I take it back to Disney movie just don't know where you are in the movie maybe you just bit in the poison apple right but yeah as things will come later you just got to you know roll with the punger grows a cliché isn't it you might see life as a Disney movie right and then you're the ending that you get the happy year after it may well be for we know in the next life right in the next transition you don't know I know from my experience if I go there briefly there is something due for waiting people but again I think that's sometimes that all might be reflecting on how you want it to be just like I was explaining this to the other day to someone about one of my plant experiences where I think we

42:40talked about it but you know that transitional point to different yeah like states of dimensions and realities but one of the things that I understood from that journey as well is at the next level of reality which is where we typically call what death is where things go to and there's still a lot of idea of somewhat separation there because of their different entities but people can experience that differently just like we're on one planet right now and we're all on the same planet but we're having vastly different experiences some people are stuck in war zones some people are crushing it some people whatever it's the same in other planes of existence to certainly break there's a mindset that comes in I always am I myself of I think you've read some of his work I don't think you've read the book but Dr David Hawkins wrote letting go which you know is on my favorite part of his other one power versus force which is part of the part of the party to surrenders what I'm thinking about but he talks in there about those that are closed off to what comes next you know you can be atheist or you know whatever he has them on a lower score in terms of happiness scoring scores everything differently and actually it's like doesn't matter what faith you follow

43:42but if you're agnostic you believe this it's having the open-mindedness to believe there's more you don't have to have the confirmation it's an open-mindedness challenge and it's easier to let go of things that pathway to surrender when you have that open-mindedness rather than that closed fixed mindset we talk about growth mindset fixed mindset of there is nothing else still to do my need it proved I need it fixed I need evidence all the time actually that mentality pulls you down you know because you end up trying to convince everyone else of your mindset as well because it's so fixed there's no open-mindedness and I'm sure you've been surrounded by people with that kind of growth mindset in mind values I don't know what comes next I'm not here to say to you that your vision of you is wrong just like we've had conversations about whether granite rocks stores memories because of vibrant who knows like let's just be open-minded and go maybe it doesn't like that's okay we don't have to be definitive all the time but I think it's a happier place to be open-minded so those people that are of thinking okay it is what it isn't that's that I would say let's bring you back to a science perspective is what do we now know about stuff in the world

44:46that we believe to be untrue or didn't know 15 years ago or 30 years ago or a hundred years ago because we are constantly being proven wrong or at least incomplete in our thinking all the time throughout was magazine called new scientist right yes I mean science is literally the process of saying that we don't know if you do it right because everything we believe to that point was either incomplete or maybe actually wrong that's the whole point right and then there's a very famous quote I think is that if it was Francis Bacon or something like that in the 1850s or 1860 whatever it was we said that everything that needs to be discovered has been discovered and this is before like electromagnetic frequencies and quarks and protons and atoms and whatever it's like ludicrous to think that we know we have all the artically like it reminds me experiences which you know it lived experiences kind of the most definitive convince of the people but even my

45:47experiences are somewhat potentially made up right and like we say every time we're experienced will be dictated by what you were thinking in the moment as well right as I was like how we live on nothing had any meaning except for the meaning you should give it we say all at time and you know I've created some rather poor meanings about certain experiences over the last few days but I've also created some good meanings and so let's say my experiences in other worldly dimensions let's say they're all in my head were made up but they're created different meanings for me and the reality is does it serve you or not right does it help you or hinder you and that's what I say to people the time right that's the key is the belief that you're holding helping you in some way or is it not and we talked about you know beliefs being no big stories surrounding lies if we choose to accept that as a concept then we can choose to change that and create other stories that maybe support a better narrative and the game knows might be made up and untrue as well but the reality is does it help you or not that clothes mindset that fix minds set you'll often get people that say this

46:49is what I believe is if it's completely fixed and unchangeable but I believe change all the time I've been mentioned a moment ago you know belief just to make it clear for those I've never heard it before you said there's a lie surrounded by BS which I love beliefs and it's we've changed up beliefs the things I believe in now are very different things I believed in when I was 18 you know how I saw the world how were you uh five and it was the very in Santa Claus and not exactly there you go over the end of the finish and we were supposed to have a slightly shorter episode today we've managed to wrap it on for 54 minutes but it's been a good conversation I've enjoyed it hopefully some things for people to have a really good think about and reflect you know what are the beliefs that you're holding onto what are the thoughts that aren't serving you can you change where you think can change what you feel what are the things that you can't do that maybe you must do there you go I think there's a few things for people to liberate you yeah to reflect on to be liberate and you don't have to get naked on the stage to do it right no the risk that yeah can help and it doesn't matter what shape you're in because it's not about being in shape it's about putting in a hundred percent in and you know giving it owning it yeah owning it Harry it's been a pleasure I'm glad to see you back and enjoyed today's episode very much and I hope that our listeners have to

47:52keep following us leave us with you if you can most importantly share this episode with the colleagues and friends if you've enjoyed it we're trying to get the message out there that we can be more mindful and have more fun doing it along the way and not get so caught up in our thoughts to live life and enjoy it and hopefully this episode is going to help you a little bit more in your journey so yeah cheers Harry nice to chat as ever and yeah see you next time