Message #449 - Practice The Pause

0:00Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. You've been talking with Dr. Terry, 180 seconds to a better you, message number 4, 49, and 9, Dr. Terry word-spotter. Let me say that again. Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response, and that's by Victor Frankel. You've talked about this before, but reminders on this topic are always useful, especially at this time in the world. Understanding and comprehending this concept is probably one of the first steps toward success in your life. It's not just to prevent saying things that you wish you hadn't, but it can prevent you from making impulsive decisions. Not me, I can hear you saying, I don't make impulsive decisions. Okay, making an impulsive decision isn't just seeing how nice something looks and buying it right away. It really revolves around whether or not you looked at the consequences.

1:03To me, that means thinking it through. I've made a lot of impulsive decisions in my life because I didn't think of the long-term consequences. The best example I can give you is when I've been in the Navy for 16 years, I only had four years to go to retirement. I got orders to go to Okinawa. I'm so bad, I'll bet yours thinking. Yeah, but those famous last words, yes, but I would have had to have my two Siberian Huskies in quarantine for six months, six whole months. I couldn't have them with me. So what did I do? I put in my resignation papers. I was just going to lose all that I'd work for because of my dogs and six months of time. If that's not impulsive, I don't know what is. Fortunately things worked out so I neither had to resign nor go to Okinawa, but you get the point. There are emotions can govern us and when they do, we're usually sorry. There needs to be time between the stimulus, my getting the orders and the response to go or not to go.

2:05In my case, there was a space, a pause. I didn't make that decision lightly. I just didn't really evaluate all the long-term consequences because I was being ruled by my emotions. Practice the pause. Sometimes you're in traffic and someone cuts in front of you, pause before you blurt out what you were thinking. Then ask yourself, am I responding from my emotions or from reason? Have I considered the consequences? Then you can move on. I suppose you're saying, what consequences could there be when someone cuts me off? Nowadays you'd be surprised at the possible outcomes. Can you spell road rage? Do this with every situation in your life. Make practicing the pause a habit. And make having a diamond day a habit too.