Meet Mr. Right

0:00This is an I Heart Podcast. Guaranteed Human Did you know that 95% of divorces never go to trial? I'm Erin Levine. I spent 20 years as a divorce attorney and I built Hello Divorce to be different. Smart technology to simplify every form and filing plus access to lawyers, financial experts, and mediators. With over 15,000 divorces, Hello Divorce is 90% cheaper, two-thirds faster, and the highest rated online divorce platform on trust pilot. Find your way forward at hellodivorce.com slash I Heart. Mmm, one iced coffee. 99 cents please. For real? No way. Mmm. Mmm, one iced coffee. 99 cents please. For real? No way. Mmm, what a deal. Your new morning groove. Ice coffee from McDonald's, any size for just 99 cents to 11 a.m.

1:00Pricing participation may vary. Can I be combined with any other offer? Bada bada bada. Imagine if your Wi-Fi was a lot smarter and way more reliable. Picture it. Your TV, phone, laptop, even your fancy fridge working together to make life easier. Well, Exfinity makes that dream a reality. Devices so in sync you'd think they're telepathic. Wi-Fi that knows when your device needs a boost. The best equipment to stream, or games at once with multi-view or stream your favorite podcast on iHeartRadio. That's the magic of Exfinity. It's seamlessly in tune with you. Exfinity. Imagine that. Restrictions apply. Last support through telehealth, but it feels overwhelming and rushed. Check out orderlymeds.com now. Orderlymeds.com was built to be different. Here you connect with real doctors who take the time to understand your goals. Review your eligibility and guide you through a plan that's right for you. Orderlymeds provides access to proven GLP1 medications, like somaglutide and terzepatide, including both name brand options and personalized compound versions when appropriate.

2:02So, UF choices backed by clinical oversight. Not guesswork. It's a simpler, more supportive telehealth experience. Design around people who want clarity, care, and confidence in their weight loss journey. And your medication is delivered directly to your home and discrete packaging. So, your experience stays private from start to finish. Do your research. Ask the right questions. Then visit orderlymeds.com slash podcast for an exclusive offer. Again, that's orderlymeds.com slash podcast. Individual results may vary, not medical advice eligibility required. See site for details. Hey, I do part two. I'm one of your new mentors here on the pod. I'll stay anonymous, but here's a hint. A long time ago, I might have been on TV looking for love.

3:04But today, you can call me Mr. Wright. And I'm here to answer all your burning questions, anything from marriage, relationships, divorce, dating, sex. You name it. I'm your resident real guy. Here to give you the right advice. So, I guess up to this point, the show is stirred up a lot of questions. Emails, voicemails have been coming in. So, let's start answering a question and go with a voicemail. Hi, my name is Maggie, and I live in Los Angeles. And I went on a date with a guy and met him out at a bar. He did mention that he got out of a relationship a month and a half ago. And I just kind of know how that goes, and I've been in that situation before where I'm after a relationship, eager to jump into something else. And I'm just wondering, am I rebound? Is this a red flag? Should I kind of pump the brakes here or keep going on dates? Let me know. Okay, thanks. All right, Maggie. Great question.

4:04And this obviously comes up a lot as, you know, there's going to be a first date after somebody gets out of a relationship. We've all been there. And the question is really, you know, are you missing something? Are there red flags? And I don't think there is so far. I mean, nothing that you said is said red flag. I mean, you know, you're going to date again after a breakup or even a divorce. And who's to say that you aren't the right person for him? So I think that if you're enjoying it, I think of it's fun. If it's not forced, I think you keep going with it. Maybe, you know, you are the unicorn. And someone he's been looking for. So my advice is, you know, don't get pessimistic until you need to. But if, you know, you're really worried about being a rebound, I would say be cautious of that. Look for those signs, those red flags. But I'd be also careful not to push it too much. Because, you know, the guy might be just kind of figuring this out. And he might be having a great time and really enjoying it. But if he feels like he's getting pressure now, something he just might have gotten out of recently, that might just push him away.

5:05So I would say, listen to your heart. Follow the signs. But don't push it. See where it goes. Now, along with all these voicemails you've been getting, there's also been some emails that have come into the show that have some really pressing questions. So we got an email from Hillary who's asking, I got divorced five years ago. I've dated a lot since. Been with my boyfriend for a year. And I think I'm ready to move in together. Does this seem too soon? How should I bring up the topic? If he says no, then what do I do? All right. This is the, uh, the billion dollar question. It's one person is ready for something. Is the other person ready for the same thing? And how do you figure that out? Now, moving in together, I think should feel pretty natural. And I think the circumstances can kind of lend towards that direction. Does it seem too soon? No, I mean, I think that, uh, if it's right, it's right. But if you haven't brought up the topic, I would be very cautious about that, uh, just to make sure that, uh, you guys are both kind of on the same page. And something as big as moving into,

6:06I don't think should be a mystery. And, um, you know, the last part of your question, if he says no, then what do you do? I mean, maybe you move on. If he doesn't want to move in, if he doesn't want to take the relationship to the next step, it sounds like you're looking for something serious. So you got to make sure that he's looking for the same thing. And if he says he's not interested, you got to figure out why. Is it because he can't break his lease? Is it because he's got a dog? I mean, there might be some mitigating factors there. But I think if you're just trying to put on, well, if you're not ready now, will you be ready in three months or six months or not, like, I don't know. That's a risk that you might not be ready to take because if it's a good idea in nine months, it should be a better idea today. All right. Now we've got another voicemail coming in with another question for the pod. And just wondering what you think, kind of the golden standard is for texting when you're first starting to date someone. How much is too much? How much is too little? How often do you want to be texting someone

7:07keeping out with them versus seeing them in person when you're first starting to date? And how do you think that evolves over time? Or do you think it's different for everybody? I'd love to do it your take. Now this is a great question. And I think it is different for everybody, but really it depends on your age category. So I've got young kids, and they have very specific rules about how they text. And it's, I can't decipher it. Now me as a divorced dad, my texting is very different. And I do it when it feels right, when it feels natural. I'm not worried about the certain standards of way to day or wait two days or wait six weeks or whatever the heck's going on right now. I think you've got to do it feels good for you. And if you're worried about sharing too much that isn't getting responded to, then that might be an indication of, you know, where the two of you are in your relationship. You know, personally, you know, I want to share something with somebody that I'm dating. I want to let them know what's going on. And if I'm oversharing, then that just might be a compatibility issue. But, you know, again,

8:08I can see how people get nervous about it because you think to yourself, oh, I don't want to blast them with text. And there can be that time that you are. I mean, let's say the other person's on a, on a trip or on a plane or whatever else. And all of a sudden they open their phone up when they can do it again. And there's 16 messages. That might be a bit overwhelming and a bit much. So, you know, I think the natural courses that give and take, you know, you send a message and a message comes back. You kind of do that, give and take, like you wouldn't have conversation. But now it's just electronic. But I think there's always if there is something that pops up in your head, a funny photo or a meme or a reel you want to send, I think you should be able to do that without feeling like you're, you're flooding them. So the way that Mr. Right here feels about it, especially in a chapter two relationship after a divorce and dating again, I think texting is the easiest and cleanest and quickest way to tell somebody that you're thinking about them. Now, you might have kids. You might have a busy career. You might have all these things going on that prevent you from going and taking 20 minutes for a phone call or being available

9:08when a phone call's coming in. But I can't tell you how nice it is to see an incoming message from somebody you want to hear from. And it can be as quick as a hello, thinking about you, whatever. So I think in this chapter, this kind of second chapter of a relationship, I think that texting is a great way to stay connected without overwhelming. So this voicemail kind of brought up a lot of questions that have come up previously, which is, you know, women complaining or questioning if they're not getting the same text response, communication response back from a man. And, you know, I just begs the question, is it because they're not interested? Is it because they're too busy? Is it because guys just generally aren't that good at communicating? And do you guys think, do ladies think that it's time to bring it up and to confront them? Or do you kind of try and hope that it just gets better on its own with more practice? I mean, Mr. Wright, me personally, what I think is I would much rather know in any situation, especially in this chapter two of my life, in any situation,

10:08when things are starting to go down the wrong path, if the other person is feeling, you know, undervalued or not important or not, you know, whatever that is, I want to know right away. And I don't want to, I don't want to get yelled at, I want to get a confrontation tone. But it might be something as easy as like, hey, I've noticed that some of our communication has fallen off recently, is there something going on, you know, in your life, were kids that's making it more difficult or is there something else going on? So I think giving an out, giving a sense of understanding instead of just kind of an accusatory tone because that's the worst thing about text. Text is great. The worst thing about text is that there is no personality. There's no inflection of tone and personality behind it. Text can come over and be read in a lot of different ways. And sometimes, you know, when you respond and just say, yep, ooh, why didn't they say, yes, I'd love to. Why was it so quick? Well, it might be that they were at a stoplight and just responding very quickly and didn't have time. So I think you want to be clear on how you're feeling,

11:08but just be careful not to be too accusatory if there's a very good reason why it's not being, you know, quite as 50-50 on that communication. Now, in general, guys just aren't that great of communicators. So don't hold that against us. We're trying, we're learning, you know, texting is tough. But I wouldn't let that worry you too much. And I think that the real measurement should be. So if you're starting off in a relationship and the communication is very often, if it's 10 times a day or whatever, but then over time that subsides and all of a sudden they're missing a day or missing two days or even, you know, whatever that interruption and communication is without a real good reason, that's the time to start to get worried. Now, if the relationship starts off and it's only a text a day or a call a day, and that stays consistent, then you know, don't get worried about that. That's just their communication style. But if you see it like it starts to get more distracted, if it starts to get more infrequent, there might be something else or someone else going on there. All right, we got another email coming in from Maria.

12:09And she writes, I saw a TikTok where someone said, when men meet women, they immediately put them into one of three boxes, either wants to date her, he wants to sleep with her, or he wants nothing to do with her. Is this true? All right, well, Mr. Wright says that pretty much there starts off with two categories. And guys are just visceral, weird, chromagnon creatures. And there's either an immediate attraction that says they put into the box number one where they want to sleep with her, or box number two where they don't want to sleep with her. I don't like that about nothing to do with her. The dating part of it, I think, develops over time. So there's, you know, guys have this instant attraction. There's just a type usually that someone meets, especially if it's at a bar, or if it's at a party, or something like that. And yeah, there's immediate feelings, I think, that pop up that are really just chemical. Now, over time, that develops into whether they want to make that a date, type of a relationship, or goes over, you know, over more time.

13:10Now, that's, I want to bring up something really important, which I think is the difference between meeting at a bar, meeting it somewhere just, you know, random, a concert, whatever, or meeting through a friend, or meeting at work, or meeting somewhere that you will see this person over and over again. And in different sort of situations, you know, different, different kind of components, different people around. And I think that those relationships are a little bit more difficult to start to put into a box, because it's not an immediate thing. It's kind of an overtime thing. But I do think that, that, that guys are definitely responsible for being a little bit too quick to judge, simply on, you know, first impression. And so, you know, oftentimes, that first impression can, you know, maybe it works, but oftentimes that probably leads to disappointment for both sides. So I think that this email is really asking, can men and women be friends? And I think definitely, when I was younger,

14:10that was probably harder to come by, because, you know, you're, you're kind of out chasing girls, and, you know, you're not looking for kind of that solid, female friendship relationship. But I've found, as I've gotten older, some of my dearest closest friends are women. And so I think that does change. So, you know, on the part two, on the second chapter of life and dating, I think that, that guys will find themselves surrounded by more and more, more women friends. And they become such valuable sounding boards, especially when you're going through a transition of a divorce or into a new relationship. I think that women friends can be so much more valuable in offering advice and counsel. And so, yeah, I think that over time, I think, you know, female friends for me have gotten that much more valuable and important in my life. Mmm. One iced coffee? 99 cents, please.

15:10For real? No way. Mmm. One iced coffee? 99 cents, please. For real? No way. Mmm. What a deal. Your new morning groove. Ice coffee from McDonald's, any size for just 99 cents to 11 a.m. Price and participation may vary, cannot be combined with any other offer. Bada-bada-bada. Imagine if your Wi-Fi was a little hot, smarter, and way more reliable. Picture it. Your TV, phone, laptop, even your fancy fridge, working together to make life easier. Well, Exfinity makes that dream a reality. Devices so insane you think they're telepathic. Wi-Fi that knows when your device needs a boost. The best equipment to stream, or games at once with multi-view, or stream your favorite podcast on iHeartRadio. That's the magic of Exfinity. It's seamlessly in tune with you. Exfinity. Imagine that. Restrictions apply. When people turn to telehealth for weight loss, they're looking for real support. That's why more people are choosing orderlymeds.com.

16:12Orderlymeds connect you with real doctors and access to proven GLP1 medications like some agglutide and terseptitide. No guessing? Just a more supportive experience. And all shift directly to your door and discrete packaging. Do your research. Ask questions. Then visit orderlymeds.com slash podcast for an exclusive offer. That's orderlymeds.com slash podcast. Individual results may vary now medical advice eligibility required to use site for details. Let's talk about modern home shopping. It's sort of become a fun side hobby, right? Scrolling listings at night, dreaming about kitchens you've never seen, or backyards you haven't even stepped foot in, all from the comforts of pretty much anywhere. Redfin knows a lot of people like you want to own, but are stuck in this browsing mode loop. That's where Redfin flips the script. With listings that update within minutes and tours you can book right from the Redfin app, you can see your dream home the moment it appears. Now liking a listing is easy, but actually landing it? That's where Redfin comes in.

17:13Redfin has over 2200 agents with local expertise. And Redfin agents close twice as many deals as other agents. That means they want to help you win not just window shop. Redfin is built to help you go from just looking to wait. This could actually be home, so become the newest neighbor on the block. Visit redfin.com to start finding and start owning. That's redfin.com. All right. Looks like we have another voicemail coming in to the pod. My name is Tina and I have a question. So I was at CVS yesterday in the valley of Los Angeles and they had sex toys on sale next to the condoms, which I thought was pretty progress. But my question is this, how do you get your husband or partner to buy one for you if you would like that as a gift?

18:15And I guess the question is how do you really introduce sex toys into a relationship when you are embarrassed to do it? That's a question, bite. This is a great question. And this is an easy one for me. I promise you there isn't a boyfriend or a husband that wouldn't be curious, interested, excited, and thrilled over the moon to find out that their partner is interested in spicing things up, changing things up in the bedroom. Especially if you've been together for a long time. So if I were you, I would go back to that CVS. I'd find the aisle with the sale items there. And I would go and maybe try a couple. And I would be incredibly surprised and I'd be willing to refund. Mr. Wright's going to refund your purchase of one of those items if it isn't met with the biggest smile and excitement you could possibly imagine. But I'll tell you this right now that if you're waiting

19:16for your partner to go and take that step, you might be waiting a long time because it's kind of an awkward thing. Because you don't quite know what's going to be appropriate, what's going to be maybe too much. And if it's just going to go and upset the woman too much. So I would wait for a vacation, a special occasion, something like that. I would buy it yourself. Whatever you feel is comfortable. Whatever you think is appropriate. But do it. Find something that you're comfortable with. And don't wait on him. Do it yourself. Quite literally. Do it yourself. All right. We've got an email coming in from Natalie and she writes, I've been cheated on in every relationship I've ever been in. Like I said, I'm now in my late 40s and have never been married. And I think it's because of my trust issues. What Fred flags am I overlooking early on that I should be more aware of when I'm getting to know a guy. Well, Natalie, I got to say there's an old ad that says,

20:16you know, fool me once. Shame on you. Fool me twice. Shame on me. Fool me five times. And there might be something major that's going on here that you're not seeing. And maybe they don't realize that you guys are even dating. Because being cheated on just doesn't seem right. And I think that the red flags should be very obvious. Are they taking you out to public places? Or are they only doing secret dark places on Tuesday nights? Have you met their friends? Have you met their family? If not, why not? Do they not have friends? And not have family? Because I think at some point you should start being more involved in their life, not just romantically but just kind of socially as well. There's other things like are they sneaky with their phone? Are they not sharing passwords? Are they hiding things from you? And I think that a lot of times, unfortunately, men and women both get so enthralled in a relationship they're almost willing to overlook these things because they don't want to be right that the person might be cheating

21:18or might be straying off. Because you wanted to work so badly we're willing to overlook those little things. But too many of those little things all compiled might have a problem there. And so the obvious red flags like we just listed but then within your own relationship, you just got to kind of feel it. Is this not feeling like it's progressing? And a relationship from the first date to the second date, there should be progress. From the second date to the fifth date, there should be progress. And whenever that gets too kind of static and doesn't move, probably start thinking that there might be something else going on. And if I was speaking directly to Natalie, that's so damaging. And you want to make sure you're getting the right sort of help therapy, guidance, counseling, to make sure that you are looking for the right guy, you're not just putting yourself in a tough situation, but be that you're not taking that hurt and putting it on to the next guy that comes along. He didn't do anything wrong. So make sure that you're not taking your previous experience

22:20and compounding that by making it worse with the next person that you date. Because that's a burden that he'll never be able to get over. You know, paying the price and consequence or something he didn't even do. So make sure that you're, you know, getting counseling advice direction, that make sure that you're in a good headspace and also make sure you're not putting that on somebody else. Now, I got to say we did not expect this influx of questions and comments. So Mr. Wright's going to have to take a break here. And we're going to have to continue this on the next episode answering all of these questions. Look forward to getting to all of the dirty details. Music Did you know that over 70% of people filed for divorce without hiring a lawyer? Hello, divorce is built for them. I'm Erin Levine. I spent 20 years as a divorce attorney and I built hello divorce to give you the support

23:22I wish more people had. With over 15,000 divorces, hello divorces, 90% cheaper, two-thirds faster, and the highest rated online divorce platform on Trust Pilot. Find your way forward at hellodivorce.com slash iHeart. Imagine if your Wi-Fi was a lot smarter and way more reliable. Picture it. Your TV, phone, laptop, even your fancy fridge, working together to make life easier. Well, Exfinity makes that dream a reality. Devices so in sync you think they're telepathic. Wi-Fi that knows when your device needs a boost, the best equipment to stream, or games at once with multi-view, or stream your favorite podcast on iHeartRadio. That's the magic of Exfinity. It's seamlessly in tune with you. Exfinity. Imagine that. Restrictions apply. Are you trying to get weight loss support through telehealth but it feels overwhelming and rushed? Check out orderlymeds.com now. Orderlymeds.com was built to be different. Here you connect with real doctors who take the time to understand your goals.

24:22Review your eligibility and guide you through a plan that's right for you. Orderlymeds provides access to proven GLP-1 medications like somaglutide and terzepatide, including both name brand options and personalized compound versions when appropriate. So you have choices back by clinical oversight. Not guess where. It's a simpler, more supportive telehealth experience designer around people who want clarity, care, and confidence in their weight loss journey. And your medication is delivered directly to your home and discreet packaging. So your experience stays private from start to finish. Do your research. Ask the right questions. Then visit orderlymeds.com slash podcast for an exclusive offer. Again, that's orderlymeds.com slash podcast. Individual results may vary not medical advice eligibility required. See site for details. This is Sophia Bush from work in progress with Sophia Bush. Bring the good with avocados from Mexico. Upgrade your meals, your get-togethers, even your everyday life. Give your moments a little glow up.

25:22Either one, everyone's glad showed up because avocados from Mexico spark the joy with every bite. And by the way, they're good for you too. So elevate your everyday. Bring the good flavor. So rich and craveable. Avocados from Mexico. Always good. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.