Meet Mr. Right

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2:01Shop now at washablesofas.com. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply. This is Sofia Bush from work in progress with Sofia Bush. Bring the good with avocados from Mexico. Create your meals, your get-togethers, even your everyday life. Give your moments a little glow up. Either one, everyone's glad showed up. Because avocados from Mexico spark the joy with every bite. And by the way, they're good for you too. So elevate your everyday. Bring the good flavor. So rich and craveable. Avocados from Mexico. Always good. Hey, I do part two. I'm one of your new mentors here on the pod. I'll stay anonymous, but here's a hint. A long time ago, I might have been on TV looking for love.

3:05But today, you can call me Mr. Wright. And I'm here to answer all your burning questions. Anything from marriage, relationships, divorce, dating, sex. You name it, I'm your resident real guy. Here to give you the right advice. So I guess up to this point, the show is stirred up a lot of questions. Emails, voicemails have been coming in. So let's start answering a question and go with a voicemail. Hi, my name is Maggie, then I live in Los Angeles. And I went on a date with a guy and then I'm out at a bar. He did mention that he got out of a relationship a month and a half ago. And I'm just kind of know how that goes, because I've been in that situation before, where after a relationship, eager to jump into something else. And I'm just wondering, am I rebound? Is this a red flag? Should I kind of pump the brakes here or keep going on dates? Let me know. Okay, thanks. Maggie, great question, and this obviously comes up a lot as, you know,

4:08there's going to be a first date after somebody gets out of a relationship. We've all been there. And the question is really, you know, are you missing something? Are there red flags? And I don't think there is so far. I mean, nothing that you said is said a red flag. I mean, you know, you're going to date again after a breakup or even a divorce. And who's to say that you aren't the right person for him? So I think that if you're enjoying it, I think if it's fun, if it's not forced, I think you keep going with it. Maybe, you know, you are the unicorn. And someone he's been looking for. So my advice is, you know, don't get pessimistic until you need to. But if, you know, you're really worried about being a rebound, I would say be cautious of that. Look for those signs, those red flags. But I'd be also careful not to push it too much. Because, you know, the guy might be just kind of figuring this out. And he might be having a great time and really enjoying it. And if he feels like he's getting pressure now, something he just might have gotten out of recently, that might just push him away. So I would say, listen to your heart, follow the signs.

5:10But don't push it. See where it goes. Now, along with all these voice mails you've been getting, there's also been some emails that have come into the show that have some really pressing questions. So we got an email from Hillary who's asking, I got divorced five years ago. I've dated a lot since. Been with my boyfriend for a year. And I think I'm ready to move in together. Does this seem too soon? How should I bring up the topic? If he says no, then what do I do? All right. This is the, the, the billion dollar question. It's one person is ready for something. Is the other person ready for the same thing? And how do you figure that out? Now, moving in together, I think should feel pretty natural. And I think the circumstances can kind of lend towards that direction. Does it seem too soon? No, I mean, I think that if it's right, it's right. I haven't brought up the topic. I would be very cautious about that. Just to make sure that you guys are both kind of on the same page. And something as big as moving into, I don't think should be a mystery.

6:10And you know, the last part of your question, if he says no, then what do you do? I mean, maybe you move on. If he doesn't want to move in, if he doesn't want to take the next step, it sounds like you're looking for something serious. So you got to make sure that he's looking for the same thing. If he says he's not interested, you got to figure out why. Is it because he can't break his lease? Is it because he's got a dog? I mean, there might be some mitigating factors there. But I think if you're just trying to put on, like if you're, if you're not ready now, will you be ready in three months or six months? Or not, like, I don't know. That's a risk that you might not be ready to take. Because if it's a good idea in nine months, it should be a better idea today. All right, now we've got another voicemail coming in with another question for the pod. I'm just wondering what you think kind of the golden standard is for texting when you're first starting to date someone. How much is too much? How much is too little? How often do you want to be texting someone keeping up with them versus seeing them in person

7:12when you're first starting today? And how do you think that evolves over time? Or do you think it's different for everybody? I'd love to do it your take. Now this is a great question. And I think it is different for everybody. But really, it depends on your age category. So I've got young kids, and they have very specific rules about how they text. And it's, I can't decipher it. Now, me as a divorced dad, my texting is very different. And I do it when it feels right, when it feels natural. I'm not worried about the certain standards of way to day or weight two days or weight six weeks or whatever the heck's going on right now. I think you're going to do it feels good for you. And if you're worried about sharing too much that isn't getting responded to, then that might be an indication of, you know, where the two of you are in your relationship. You know, personally, you know, I want to share something with somebody that I'm dating. I want to let them know what's going on. And if I'm oversharing, then that just might be a compatibility issue. But, you know, again, I can see how people get nervous about it because you think to yourself,

8:13oh, I don't want to blast them with text. And there can be that time that you are. I mean, let's say the other person's on a trip or on a plane or whatever else. And all of a sudden, they open their phone up when they can do it again. And there's 16 messages. That might be a bit overwhelming and a bit much. So, you know, I think the natural courses that give and take, you know, you send a message and a message comes back. You kind of do that give and take like you wouldn't a conversation. But now it's just electronic. But I think there's always if there is something that pops up in your head a funny photo or a meme or a reel you want to send, I think you should be able to do that without feeling like you're flooding them. So the way that Mr. Right here feels about it, especially in a chapter two relationship after a divorce and dating again, I think texting is the easiest and cleanest and quickest way to tell somebody that you're thinking about them. Now, you might have kids, you might have a busy career, you might have all these things going on that prevent you from going and taking 20 minutes for a phone call or being available when a phone call is coming in. But I can't tell you how nice it is to see an incoming message from somebody you want to hear from.

9:15And it can be as quick as a hello, thinking about you, whatever. So I think in this chapter, this kind of second chapter of a relationship, I think that texting is a great way to stay connected without overwhelming. So this voicemail kind of brought up a lot of questions that have come up previously, which is, you know, women complaining or questioning if they're not getting the same text response, communication response back from a man. And, you know, I just begs the question, is it because they're not interested? Is it because they're too busy? Is it because guys just generally aren't that good at communicating? And do you guys think, do ladies think that it's time to bring it up and to confront them? Or do you kind of try and hope that it just gets better on its own with more practice? I mean, Mr. Wright, me personally, what I think is I would much rather know in any situation, especially in this chapter two of my life, in any situation, when things are starting to go down the wrong path, if the other person is feeling, you know, undervalued or not important or not,

10:16you know, whatever that is, I want to know right away. And I don't want to, I don't want to get yelled at, I don't want to get in a confrontational tone. But it might be something as easy as like, hey, I've noticed that some of our communication has fallen off recently. Is there something going on, you know, in your life, work kids that's making it more difficult or is there something else going on? So I think giving an out, giving a sense of understanding, instead of just kind of an accusatory tone, because that's the worst thing about text. Text is great. The worst thing about text is that there is no personality. There's no inflection of tone and personality behind it. So text can come over and be read in a lot of different ways. And sometimes, you know, when you respond and just say, yep, whoa, why didn't they say, yes, I'd love to. Why was it so quick? Well, it might be that they were at a stoplight and just responding very quickly and didn't have time. So I think you want to be clear on how you're feeling, but just be careful not to be too accusatory if there's a very good reason why it's not being, you know, quite as 50-50 on that communication.

11:18Now in general, guys just aren't that great of communicators. So don't hold that against us. We're trying, we're learning, you know, texting is tough. But I wouldn't let that worry you too much. And I think that the real measurement should be. So if you're starting off in a relationship and the communication is very often, if it's, you know, 10 times a day or whatever, but then over time that subsides and all of a sudden they're missing a day or missing two days or even, you know, whatever that interruption and communication is without a real good reason, that's the time to start to get worried. Now if the relationship starts off and it's only a text a day or a call a day and that stays consistent, then, you know, don't get worried about that. That's just their communication style. But if you see it like it starts to get more distracted, if it starts to get more infrequent, there might be something else or someone else going on there. All right, we got another email coming in from Maria and she writes, I saw a TikTok where someone said, when men meet women, they immediately put them into one of three boxes. Either wants to date her, he wants to sleep with her,

12:21or he wants nothing to do with her. Is this true? All right, well, Mr. Wright says that pretty much there starts off with two categories. And guys are just visceral, weird, chromagnon creatures. And there's either an immediate attraction that says they put into the box number one where they want to, you know, sleep with her, or box number two where they don't want to sleep with her. I don't like that about nothing to do with her. The dating part of it, I think, develops over time. So there's, you know, guys have this instant attraction. There's just a type usually that someone meets, especially if it's at a bar or if it's at a party or something like that. And yeah, there's immediate feelings, I think, that pop up that are really just chemical. Now, over time, that develops into whether they want to make that a date type of a relationship or goes over, you know, over more time. Now, that's, I want to bring up something really important, which I think is the difference between meeting at a bar, meeting it somewhere just, you know, random, a concert, whatever, or meeting through a friend,

13:23or meeting at work, or meeting somewhere that you will see this person over and over again, and in different sort of situations, you know, different, different kind of components, different people around. And I think that those relationships are a little bit more difficult to start to put into a box, because it's not an immediate thing. It's kind of an overtime thing. But I do think that, that, that guys are definitely responsible for being a little bit too quick to judge, simply on, you know, first impression. And so, you know, often times, that first impression can, you know, maybe it works, but often times, that probably leads to disappointment for both sides. So I think that this email is really asking, can men and women be friends? And I think definitely, when I was younger, that was probably harder to come by, because, you know, you're kind of out chasing girls, and, you know, you're not looking for kind of that solid, female friendship relationship. But I've found, as I've gotten older,

14:24some of my dearest closest friends are women. And so I think that does change. So, you know, on the, on the part two, on the second chapter of life and dating, I think that, that guys will find themselves surrounded by more and more women friends. And they become such valuable sounding boards, especially when you're going through a transition of a divorce or into a new relationship. I think that, that women friends can be so much more valuable and offering advice and counsel. And so, yeah, I think that, over time, I think, you know, female friends for me have gotten that much more valuable and important in my life. No one knows what the future holds, but you deserve a weather app that can help. Weatherbug is easy to use, and provides forecasts for your every need. From storm warnings to pollen levels, right at your fingertips, get the fastest local alerts and comprehensive 10-day forecasts, wherever you are. It's hyper-local, real-time, customizable alerts.

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16:26no return shipping or restocking fees, every penny back. Up right now at washablesofas.com. Offers are subject to change, and certain restrictions may apply. This is Sofia Busch from work in progress with Sofia Busch. Bring the good with avocados from Mexico. Upgrade your meals, your get-togethers, even your everyday life. Give your moments a little glow up. Either one, everyone's glad showed up. Because avocados from Mexico spark the joy with every bite. And by the way, they're good for you too. So elevate your everyday. Bring the good flavor. So rich and cravable. Avocado from Mexico. Always good. Busy work weeks can leave you feeling drained. Prolon's five-day fasting mimicking diet works at the cellular level to rejuvenate you from the inside out, providing real results that include fat-focused, sustainable weight loss with no injection needed. Next gen builds on the original prologue

17:27with 100% organic soups and teas, a richer taste and ready-to-eat meals, developed at USC's Longevity Institute, and backed by top medical centers. Prolon supports biological age reduction, metabolic health, skin appearance, fat loss, and energy. Get 15% off plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe at prolonlife.com slash iHeart. That's prolonlife.com slash iHeart. All right. Looks like we have another voicemail coming in to the pod. My name is Tina and I have a question. So I was at CVF yesterday in the valley of Los Angeles and they had sex toys on sale next to the condoms, which I thought was pretty progress. But my question is this. How do you get your husband or partner to buy one for you if you would like that as a gift?

18:29And I guess the question is how do you really introduce sex toys into a relationship when you are embarrassed to do it? That's a question, bite. This is a great question and this is an easy one for me. I promise you there isn't a boyfriend or a husband that wouldn't be curious, interested, excited, and thrilled over the moon to find out that their partner is interested in spicing things up, changing things up in the bedroom, if you've been together for a long time. So if I were you, I would go back to that CVS, I'd find the aisle with the sale items there and I would go and maybe try a couple. And I would be incredibly surprised and I'd be willing to refund. Mr. Wright's going to refund your purchase of one of those items if it isn't met with the biggest smile and excitement you could possibly imagine. But I'll tell you this right now that if you're waiting

19:31for your partner to go and take that step, you might be waiting a long time because it's kind of an awkward thing because you don't quite know what's going to be appropriate, what's going to be maybe too much and if it's just going to go and upset the woman too much. So I would wait for a vacation, a special occasion, something like that. I would buy it yourself. Whatever you feel is comfortable, whatever you think is appropriate. But find something that you're comfortable with and don't wait on him. Do it yourself. Quite literally, do it yourself. All right, we've got an email coming in from Natalie and she writes, I've been cheated on in every relationship I've ever been in, like I said. I'm now in my late 40s and have never been married and I think it's because of my trust issues. What Fred flags am I overlooking early on that I should be more aware of when I'm getting to know a guy? Well, Natalie, I got to say there's an old adage that says,

20:31you know, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool me five times. And there might be something major that's going on here that you're not seeing. And maybe they don't realize that you guys are even dating because being cheated on just doesn't seem right. And I think that the red flags should be very obvious. Are they taking you out to public places or they only doing secretly dark places on Tuesday nights? Have you met their friends? Have you met their family? If not, why not? Do they not have friends? And not have family? Because I think at some point, you should start being more involved in their life, not just romantically but just kind of socially as well. There's other things like, are they sneaky with their phone? Are they not sharing passwords? Are they hiding things from you? And I think that a lot of times, unfortunately, men and women both get so enthralled in a relationship they're almost willing to overlook these things because they don't want to be right that the person might be cheating or might be straying off.

21:33Because you wanted to work so badly we're willing to overlook those little things. But too many of those little things all compiled might have a problem there. And so the obvious red flags like we just listed but then within your own relationship, you just kind of feel it. Is this not feeling like it's progressing? And a relationship from the first date to the second date, there should be progress. From the second date to the fifth date, there should be progress. And whenever that gets too kind of static and doesn't move, probably start thinking that there might be something else going on. And if I was speaking directly to Natalie, that's so damaging. And you want to make sure you're getting the right sort of help therapy, guidance, counseling, to make sure that you are looking for the right guy, you're not just putting yourself in a tough situation, but be that you're not taking that hurt and putting it on to the next guy that comes along. He didn't do anything wrong. So make sure that you're not taking your previous experience

22:34and compounding that by making it worse with the next person that you date. Because that's a burden that he'll never be able to get over, paying the price and consequence or something he didn't even do. So make sure that you're getting counseling advice direction that makes sure that you're in a good head space and also make sure you're not putting that on somebody else. Now I got to say we did not expect this influx of questions and comments. So Mr. Wright's going to have to take a break here. And we're going to have to continue this on the next episode answering all of these questions. Look forward to getting to all of the dirty details. No one knows what the future holds, but you deserve a weather app that can help. Weather bug is easy to use and provides forecasts for your every need. From storm warnings to pollen levels, right at your fingertips, get the fastest local alerts and comprehensive 10-day forecasts wherever you are. It's hyper-local, real-time customizable alerts. Make sure the weather never takes time and you don't have to worry too much about it.

23:35The weather bug is easy to use and provides forecasts for your every need. From storm warnings to pollen levels, right at your fingertips, the weather never takes you by surprise, so you can plan every day with confidence. Download the free weather bug app from the App Store today and start getting accurate weather forecasts 24-7. For growing families and changing spaces, starting at just $699, it's time to upgrade to a stress-free, mis-proof sofa. Visit washablesofas.com today and save. Authors are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply. This is Sophia Bush from Work in Progress with Sophia Bush. Bring the good with avocados for Mexico. Upgrade your meals, your get-togethers, even your everyday life. Give your moments a little glow up.

24:36Either one, everyone's glad showed up because avocados from Mexico spark the joy with every bite. And by the way, you're good for you too. So elevate your everyday. Bring the good flavor, so rich and cravable. Avocados from Mexico. Always good. Hear that. That's the sound of your skin silently crying out for hydration. Luckily, Dr. Teals has just the thing to get you glowing in no time. Meet Dr. Teals' skin-renewled deep hydration, made with a proprietary triple magnesium complex, plus skin care actives for 50% improved skin hydration after just one bath. The words dry and dehydrated are about to be wiped from your vocabulary. Find Dr. Teals, Paul Dressed in Blue, and your local bath aisle. Dr. Teals. Yep, you needed that. This is an I Heart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.