Masked Speaker: Neighborly Warfare

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3:11Text to 78592 says I'm a kindergarten teacher and some of my best behavior tips actually come from dog training videos. No way but there isn't really a good way to tell my colleagues without sounding like a terrible person. Yeah they can't share that YouTube tutorial. Yeah it's a good tip if they spill their apple juice rub their nose and it did you do this Kayla. Your secrets and unorthodox child rearing methods are safe to share here on the mass speaker. We've got a woman on the phone who's chosen Jacqueline as her fake identity Jacqueline welcome to the show. Hi how are you guys doing? Good excited to hear your secret. Yes we're very good boys and girls over here. We've been looking at it. Okay I'm ready for my treat. I'll leave a mess on the carpet. Uh uh we'll get to it after this. Voice changer is on. You are the mass speaker Jacqueline whenever you're ready. Let's hear your confession. Okay this is the first time I'm telling anyone this so I'm like a little nervous but I'm excited because I want to get it out. Okay yeah so I live in an apartment

4:13and a while back I got new upstairs neighbors and they were like two guys in their 20s. Very young. Is it bad my first thought is how cute? Oh yeah I thought what a hell. As a married woman yeah it is bad that that's you. Well I mean if I was still single in an apartment. Yeah so okay. Well you know what that cuteness really wore off that because they were extremely loud. That was the first thing I thought was the stomping above you. Oh yeah. Now you're just the stomping like they would scream for hours while playing video games. Oh that's me. Do you live below Jose and you just think there's two people? Yeah. Oh my gosh I feel bad for your neighbors. Did you also host like large loud parties in the middle of the week? I'm always alone. That's one of my favorite games. Well they did that too. They would have like a bunch of people over stomping on the floor like really late at night and I went up there and I talked to them like a couple times like and I was polite. I was very nice. That's nice actually that you went yourself because when they do the apartment complex it makes you mad. But the neighbor says it.

5:14You're like why didn't you tell it first? Like they've done something about it. I figured they're young. They just didn't know. I figured I just talked to them. You know I figured they'd be reasonable. Yeah they're oblivious to that. They're making that much noise. Right but they were extremely rude. Extremely just this is. Oh my gosh. Excuse me. I was just casting the musical stomp and I need to rehearse and you're telling me now I can't do my job. What's happening? Is that a normal 20s year old male response to you Jeff? In my private school it was. Oh yeah. So I don't know how it works and I don't know. Rest of the places but okay. I really hope this secret turns into some revenge story. Well listen. So I finally gave up on some playing to them because it wasn't getting anywhere. So I went to my landlord and he was kind of useless. He'd just shrug his shoulders and I was just like this is ridiculous. Like I shouldn't have to live this way. So after a while I was like okay I guess it's on me. I'm going to figure it out. I'm going to get these guys to go. Like they can't figure it. You're going to get it to leave the apartment on their own. Wow.

6:14You know and I don't feel bad about it because you tried to help. How do you get them to move? So something I realized like shortly after they moved it is that they had this Bluetooth speaker and it would always show up if I sold it like an option. And I figured out how to connect to it and what I would do is I downloaded this playlist of smoke alarm like chirping sound. Oh. That's diabolical. That's genius. You know I had to really think about it. So I was like it's got to be something really good. It can't just be like music or whatever. So when it would be really quiet up there I would just like randomly play it at random time. Oh my god. And I can hear them like they're running around looking for it. They're yelling at each other like trying to figure it out where this was coming from. They had no idea. This is like psychological warfare. Yeah it is. You know what though? Psychological warfare is not letting someone go to sleep and they have to get up for work at the same time. Yeah that's a war. You're back and forth. They deserve it. We're all supporting you in this. Like this is a great idea. So like that would drive them crazy

7:14but like that didn't get rid of them. So the other thing I did our building has an access wall where you can get to like the pipes on their floor which is like right next to their apartment. So one night I went up there I opened the panel and I zip tied like a body massage or two it. I closed the panel, went back downstairs and I'm close enough right for my apartment where I can activate it with a remote control. Oh because you're like a wrackly underneath. I feel like yeah. It's always body massage or in quotes. Well I didn't know how to say it. Okay. Oh that's so well in there. Hand hands ring ring. But listen. So every morning at 3am I would turn on the massage rack and it would like it would shake their pipes and make them up. It was like so loud. Like and I know they would complain. They call the landlord. He'd be like oh there's something around with the plumbing and I remember the landlord having like a plumber got like nobody could figure out what was going on. Well because it's not happening when anyone goes to check on it.

8:16Well not only that I don't think they knew it was outside. I think they thought it was inside their pipes in the apartment. I don't think anyone thought to check outside. Oh my god. The landlord's not that smart. He's an older guy. He doesn't really want to deal with things. Yeah. So did they finally leave? Yes they did. I would keep them up all night. So yeah a couple of months later they finally moved out. Okay. Yay. You're way. You won. Bro Tip, you should try to move into that apartment. When you're on the top. No one bugs you. I don't know I'm ever going to move. Not a bad idea. Well but now I have new roommates or not roommates but new tenants up there now. They're very very nice ladies. Oh good. Congratulations you win the torture wars of the apartment. Yeah. And you actually won like for real. I did. I did. I'm so proud. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to have someone because I've been holding this in for so long. So thank you. Glad to you. And we're all going out to buy massagers after this is done in honor of you. Yeah. You already have one.

9:16Yeah well I need more. Texting 78592. If you have a confession you've been holding on to we can hide your identity, mask your voice and make you our next mass speaker. We got your phone tab coming up right after this. All cat parents understand the feeling of being totally ignored by your cat. And often thinking, does my cat even love me? There's only one solution to solve that. Shiba. Feature cat Shiba and go from feeling ignored to truly adored in 12 days guaranteed or your money back. Shiba has a menu of products, appetizers, entrees, treats, and even a kitten's menu. So Shiba has a product for even the pickiest eater. Like Shiba Puree, made with bone broth, a smooth and creamy texture that cats love, or Shiba grilled. Protein rich formula made with real chicken and seafood. To learn more, check out Shiba.com. We all have different styles. I may be in the Levi's and you may be in Tiffendi or Miu Miu. But we all should be into Poshmark.com. Right? Because we can all find exactly what we want to fit our style. Poshmark has millions of new and pre-lift pieces. Vintage, luxury, men's, women's, children's. Everything from car heart to coach.

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