Managing Your Finances Together, Part 2

0:00Today on Living on the Edge with Chippengrim, there are a few things in all the world that will put more pressure on your marriage than debt. There are so many pressures that come with owing other people money. What do you do? How do you get peace when you're overwhelmed with debt? That's today. Stay with me. Welcome to Living on the Edge with Chippengrim. I'm Dave Druey and today we're concluding our series Choosing Love with a message that gets intensely practical. Last time Chip taught us that God owns it all, we're just stewards. Today he shows how to actually live that out. You'll discover why money problems are rarely about needing more income or tracking your spending for just 30 days changes everything

1:01and how to develop a financial plan you both can agree on. Well now here's Chippengrim continuing his message managing your finances together. Let me give you a very brief overview of biblical finances and I mean I'm going to go really quick. So what the Bible teaches and I mean quick overview is that God owns it all. Second we're stewards managers and trustees Luke 16. I'm a steward and a steward or a manager is someone who is entrusted with certain things to make good use of them for their master and that's what I just realized is whatever I've got in my pocket whatever I got in the bank account whatever kind of car I whatever I have it's yours and I'm going to give an account for it. Money is powerful and deceptive and the subtlety and deception of money is it takes you down a path it's like being in water where you go out if you've ever been at the peach you know and you're having fun and you know you got the sand and if you have a family got a couple kids here and you got the blankets and you're going to have lunch and stuff

2:02and they go out and play and you're playing and then you're playing and you're playing and nothing happened but the current's doing this and you look up and you realize my lands how do we get done I mean our hey where's mom and dad where's that's what happens to us with regard to money money is the other god according to Jesus we can't serve both Matthew 6 giving his gods antidote to greed and the dangers of idle worship we're commanded instruct those who are rich in this present world and biblically that's all of us not to be conceited or fix their hope on the uncertainty of money or wealth notice that's the reason because it's uncertain he wants to protect us debt is dangerous and to be avoided I think the best counselors I know say it's you know it's not wrong to have some debt appreciable items it's way better not to have any and we're to be accurately aware of our financial condition now this would be interesting I will

3:03not do this because I would not want to embarrass anyone but if I could if you all lined up and I can meet with couples couples couples couples and then I I would just okay separate you know earphones so she couldn't hear he couldn't hear and I would ask the man in general how much debt do you have how much money do you have in savings what I would find in most couples one person would have a vague idea and the other would be like he takes care of all that or she takes care of all that or they would both fumble around a lot and not have a very accurate the Bible says no well the condition of your flock you need to know this is our level of debt currently right now this is how much we've set aside for an emergency this is a fund that we've developed for we're saving for a next car that we're going to buy because we want to pay cash this is this is what we're doing in terms of long-term and investment or retirement and you kind of know where you're at and by the way the reason you're feeling the way you're feeling is because of the deceitfulness of riches

4:04do you realize 50% of all the people that graduate from college are at a statistic wow bankruptcy you know you go you go to college they give you a t-shirt here's a credit card but by the time they're out there's there's literally we have a whole generation some Christian some non-Christian that they they think this is money I'm never one of my grandkids we were taking them out for something and we're having a pizza or something like that you know there's six seven eight nine ten at the time and and we were here and um oh do you want to get something like that I said oh I don't I don't have my wallet and um and uh I said I don't know what to do and and my I forgot one of my grandkids says oh just use one of those cards and in other words it wasn't you don't need money there was no connection between money and a card but here's here's here okay okay now I'm gonna be really really gentle here if you want to get hold of your life if you want to get hold of your values if you want to get hold of your future you have to get a hold of your money and your time and your thought life if you do not get a hold of your money

5:12it will get a hold of you and despite your best intentions it will take you places you do not want to go if you don't get a hold of your thought life you can intend you can try you can want to you can plead but you are the product of your thoughts it's how God made us your emotions are a response to your thoughts much of your behavior instead of being intellectually based oh this is logical this is what I ought to do is that is that what we do like I'm feeling kind of down I'm feeling kind of oh it's really logical don't go to the refrigerator so I won't what do we do we eat we spend we shop we go we vacation there are only five uses of money I got this from Ron Blue you can give it away you can pay taxes with it you can save it you can pay off debt or you can live off of it and when I say savings I mean savings as in short term emergency fund which I find

6:17most people don't have but then there's sort of a mid-range savings where you know we set aside X amount so that when we get the tax bill we don't go oh so you know every paycheck a little bit goes in for the tax we have a game plan at our at our age in our stage we wanted to help our grandkids so we set aside some where where we started a little fun for their college we we wanted to visit our grandkids and stay connected and when they all grow and go different places about 15 years ago we called it a kid fund because you know and by the way it's not like we had a lot of money to put in these things but the discipline of creating where you want your money to go creates an intention and so but but the point is do you plan and do you segment your dollars so that what I knew was at the end of the day what's going to be valuable I want to be connected to my grown kids I want to have at least every two years a window of time where those

7:22little kids grow up and they remember being on the boat with granddad and grandma and aunts and uncles and cousins and did it cost a lot of money yeah but I saved for it for two years I don't have a ton of money in retirement but I've got a plan that lines out that well 65 I said I don't have anything in the Bible about retirement I want to I want to be used by God I don't I'm not trying to figure out I mean I've met these guys that their whole life was boy maybe by 56 I can retire and play golf now personally I like to play golf but I think pleasure is a great vacation it's a bad vocation pleasure is a is a great tour guide it's a great tour guide ah let's have some fun it is a terrible destination can't deliver a financial freedom requires and please don't laugh spending less than one's income if you add up all your expenses this month or

8:27in the last year are your expenses more than the money that came in and if so do you understand that's a fundamental problem the government can do that you can't I mean that can just say hey let's print some more money unfortunately we will all end up paying for all that one way or another and so the lie is that what we need is we need more income and so often well it's a second job or we'll do this we'll do this well then your priorities get out of whack now are there times for second job meant of course but but by and large your need is not more money your needs to adjust your spending to your income and your income needs to to flow out of not what are all the things that we think we need but see you got to go back to this is who we want to be this is God's call on our life this is what's important for our marriage this is what's important if you have children or grandchildren these are our goals and then okay we're going to give first and

9:32foremost because we're going to declare that money will not be our God before we do anything else I'm going to make my offering to God second is I'm going to obey the government so I'm going to set aside I'm going to pay my taxes then I'm going to say what do we need you know to live on but before we do even if it's small we're going to set aside some money to save and then you're saying if I do all that I'm not going to have much left you're right so do you need to lease a card that's $500 a month do you need cable and Netflix and this and that do you need to eat out seven eight nine times a month that's just what happens now you're thinking gosh you're talking about a completely altered lifestyle it's called freedom it's called joy the borrower is always a slave of a lender and you just get into bondage and it starts small and

10:36then it mushrooms and so all I'm saying is that that's the principle you have to spend less than what comes in you're listening to living on the edge with chipping room and we'll continue in just a moment today's teaching is available for listening anytime over on our website living on the edge dot org whether you want to listen again or share it with someone who needs encouragement you'll find this message and hundreds more online plus discover small group resources and practical relationship tools designed to help you choose love daily check it all out at living on the edge dot org now let's get back to chip's message often money is not the problem as we talked about it's often just the symptom money solves emotional and relational problems short term by compensation a lot of parents buy stuff for their kids because they feel guilty they're not spending quality time

11:37with them we we buy gifts for one another or we say silly things like you know it's really been a rocky time in our marriage so let's just go to Hawaii I mean we're only $60,000 in debt plus another 10 I mean the logic goes like that there's a way that seems right to a man proverbs 1412 there's a way that seems right to a woman but the end thereof is death and what is common for other people is death for you the fact that they do it is the fact that you're going to see people whose marriages don't work whose kids are entitled whose trajectory of their life is the opposite of what you want and yet if you did some real hard evaluation at some level or maybe more than you would like or maybe you're in the deep end of the

12:38pool and you just realize this this money thing is really the thing that's causing the pressure how do you solve the money problem it has to begin with it's our problem that we will solve right we're going to do this together because once the pressure happens what do we do it's her or whoever is the spender especially right it's him you know I can't believe he bought new golf clubs I can't believe she went shopping and did this blah blah blah I can't believe but I can't and and so you blame either win win or lose lose second then assessment instead of blaming you will you will need to get pried up and then say let's sit down and see where we're at financially we would so we both know this is how much actually comes in this is how much we pay in taxes this is how much total debt we have in every area long term short term credit card

13:38this is how much we give this is I've done this many times in season marriage for 30 days it's easier on your phone there's probably apps that do it now for 30 days treason I would say we will we're going to track every dollar we spend for 30 days just to find out it's and spend will just be normal but just track it it's crazy just by tracking it you start spending less but and then you track it and you find okay this is how much on groceries this is how much on going out to eat this much on recreation this much on clothes this much and all of a sudden what you see in your mind is we don't have enough money to get by and when you see where it actually goes you'll go can you believe we spend $142 on Starbucks I'm just I'm just telling you we we have patterns and and here God's not mad but those patterns right those paths there's a destination and I just want to know the destination that a great majority of Christians and maybe a lot of you are on

14:43it's it's not where you want to be so you sit down and and you'll notice the worksheet is I've just kind of taken what other really smart people in in finance you know and honest appraisal and and there's a confession say yeah here's where you start Lord we are messed up with our money a correction Lord we are messed up with your money and since it's your money we're going to repent and then second we want to have a clear conscience we we we want not just our words not just our thoughts not just our actions we want our money to be a reflection that we're living in a way that's pleasing to you you do you don't understand God longs to bless you and then there's principles here you know about a budget and how to do it and do it together and establishing these are all the basic principles of finances resolving to get out of debt developing a plan and a time frame

15:43many of you just like in other areas you'll you'll need someone from the outside you know a financial counselor a lot of churches now we're doing some really good things with this and then explore creative means to reduce spending and living costs and then just say Lord we we want to obey you one of the things that we did after we you know found out how much we were spending and all then we developed you know a budget sound so harsh doesn't it I mean it just sounds like budgets so what we did is when we came up with okay this is where we want to be and this is what we can afford I know okay we gave we paid our taxes we saved at least just if mostly the principal probably won't do a whole lot of good but we started there and it kept growing now we have this much money left then what we did is we said okay groceries and literally we went the bank we got cash okay family of six okay three hundred and twenty dollars put that in an envelope

16:47says groceries right creation we do want to go out a little bit we want to do this want to do that right now eighty dollars for this month that goes another envelope and and we just we had like five envelopes and you'll you'll see how to do that and when the envelopes were empty guess we're not going to Starbucks guess we're not going out to eat the envelope you know and so we live on a cash basis and we just and it can be different amounts but you would be shocked how your debt will come down your freedom will go and God will allow you to get a hold of your finances and then notice what action step uh to begin the process and this is one where it's in most couples it's either a default we don't think about it a lot or it's it's really an issue where there's a lot of sparks this is one of those let's agree let's not blame anybody we we've we've

17:49done that right second let's not argue that's no fun either let's let's work through this worksheet together and let's come up with just a plan that we both agree on and what I can tell you I've watched this just like spiritual intimacy when when couples get on the same page and finances and then can I just warning warning you know caution light you know yellow now it's red in about two or three weeks one of you won't stick to the budget and it's probably the spender and and one of you is like really organized follow through details and the other is a little bit more big picture that's the culprit watch that guy and and then you're going to have an argument and you guess what you'll do you'll bear with one another you'll define the problem you'll initiate a time to talk you have a way to solve the problem you'll forgive one another you repent your Starbucks is down to four

18:54dollars not this kid so do you do you get it this this is this is one that doesn't feel like oh wow what a what a wonderful difference it will make I will tell you this this will impact almost every area in your children man it will so help them what do you mean we can't have that what do you mean we can't buy that everyone you'll have so many teachable moments when you begin to live in a way where you are wise stewards of his money and his time of the home that you either own or rent as his steward with the income that you have and as you do that venture capitalist they look for who's the right person the right idea the right concept the right need and we want to fund it

19:58and the ultimate venture capitalist in the universe is God he's looking for someone that would be a good manager that has an open heart that would would use the resources that would bring honor and glory to him and he would really like as a byproduct to have you really enjoy it and make you happy and probably provide some things that you would never dream but we live in a world where I want the things now for me and I neglect my business partner my venture capitalist the funder the provider because because you know no matter how much you have haven't we learned man you're small business as thriving guess what you're out of business I've talked with people I spent 33 years building this company it's gone it's gone so what you want is you want a financial partner that will never leave you never forsake you

21:00and no matter what happens or when you fail you can always go back and Lord I'm he's near to the broken heart if he wants to help you this is living on the edge with chipping room and we're wrapping up our series choosing love today chip gave us nuts and bolts guidance for becoming wise stewards of God's resources chip will share a final word in just a moment looking for more insight into biblical love chip's latest book I choose love takes everything we've covered in this series even deeper the central message is simple but life changing love is a choice not just an emotion you experience through Philippians chapter two chip explores agape love God's kind of love that operates completely differently than what our culture promotes it's sacrificial it's intentional it puts the other person first even when it costs you something when you make the choice to love this way everything shifts order your copy at livingontheedge.org and start experiencing the transformation in every

22:05relationship hey want more of chips teaching throughout your week connect with living on the edge on social media we share daily encouragement powerful teaching clips and biblical wisdom you can apply immediately follow us on Facebook and Instagram by searching for living on the edge with chipping room and then connect with us on YouTube by subscribing to chipping rooms channel we look forward to seeing you there also make sure you've subscribed to the living on the edge podcast our new chip engram sermon podcast feature gives you chips full on edited messages exactly as preached well now once again here's chip with a final word for our study choosing love as we wrap up the series I had a great time getting to teach it to those couples at the Billy Graham center and then I got to hear what was going on in their life as they gave me feedback and talked about you know what we're taking steps for spiritual intimacy we we prayed together last night and now someone else told me you know something um we never even talked about money my husband just

23:10took care of it all I didn't even know what was going on or my wife took care of it all we actually sat down and discussed our finances or for others it was you know this series was awesome that little acronym of diffuse about how to resolve conflict and and that little tool you gave us on communication having a conference have been such a help of moving us closer together we've gotten practical skills on how to have a marriage that's deeper actually in keeping our love alive and maybe you missed one of the messages or what I'm talking about you're thinking wow I'd love to get those notes or I'd like to listen to this let me encourage you to go to the website or there on the app and listen to these messages again download the notes and here's the challenge who do you know that needs to hear this series that you could send it to that you could pray for that you could say hey why don't we get together you could listen to it again and why don't we take these notes and have discussions with two or three other couples why don't we get committed not

24:15just to hear about a skill but to actually put it in practice there is nothing that will give you greater joy or sustain your life in the things that matter most then building a strong marriage keeping love alive takes a lot of work go do it you'll be glad you did what does God's dream for your life look like well tomorrow chipping room shifts gears to reveal what normal Christianity is really supposed to be and it might surprise you i'm Dave Julie join us tomorrow as we begin a series called God's Dream for Your Life here on Living on the Edge today's program is produced and sponsored by Living on the Edge