Man Dies and is Shown the Other Side (NDE)

0:00I'm Vinny Talman. I was born in Arlington, Texas. I was raised in a pretty rough home, a very strict home. You know, raised kind of as an army brat. My dad had spent some time in the army and had really liked the discipline of the army. And he tended to be really, really hard, especially on me. And as I grew in that environment, I tended to have a hard time respecting men of any kind. And I tended to try to find opportunities to fight anyone I could to really channel that energy out of me. And at one point I realized that that wasn't me. And in that process, I discovered bodybuilding. As a young 20-something-year-old, the better my body looked, it seemed like the more attention I got. And I liked that. It felt good. So we would do, you know, early morning workouts, evening workouts

1:02every day. Lots of, you know, your traditional creatine and protein powders and pre-workouts. The most popular muscle recovery supplements at the time was a product called Furnown to Hydro. It allowed you to heal about 48 hours of healing in 24 hours. So you could do arms every day, chest every day. So that's what we were using it for. All the stores ran out. And I got to a point where the waiting list was like six months to get a bottle of it. And we were impatient. We didn't want to wait six months. So we went online to try to find other sources. One of them was a company in Thailand. And so we ordered a bottle from this company in Thailand. And when it arrived, we were, you know, excited. We said, Hey, we'll use, we'll use this on Saturday and do a workout. Took it Saturday morning. Right off the bat, we felt something was different about this. And come

2:04to find out later what we were getting from Thailand was a hundred percent solution. And what we were using in the United States was a five percent solution. So it was just like taking 20 bottle caps worth of this supplement. Instantly, we both felt a nausea and like almost a dizziness kick in. We didn't think we were in trouble. We just thought, Hey, let's go get something to eat. Maybe that'll make us feel better. My buddy, he was starting to pass out as he was driving. I was like shaking him awake. We pulled into the dairy queen. I went directly into the restaurant and went straight for the bathroom. The supplement itself has a sedative effect when you have that much of it. And it was like putting my body to sleep. And so I was passing out conscious. And my heart was starting to slow down. The last thing I remember was seeing the whole room start to spin on me. And I passed out onto the ground on my back. My body

3:04started to vomit to try to eject what was causing all this. And as it did, I breathed it into my lungs. So I suffocated. I went into an instant like cool dark feeling, where it was almost like I got plunged into a pool of water. And this water was just like instantaneous peace. And through this kind of dark water, I started to see this foggy scene start to clarify or come into focus in front of me. And this scene was this this bathroom, but I was seeing it from the ceiling looking down. I never thought even for a second that what I was looking at was my own body. Because me was up here. And it was looking down at this scene. So I had no idea that what I was looking at down on the ground on the floor was my own dead body. I watched this customer try to open the men's bathroom and it was locked.

4:10After about 45 minutes of that, he went up to the manager and he's like, hey, I need to get in here. And I saw all of this. And I saw the discovery of this body. I saw them call 911. I saw as the manager coached this this gal who was like the assistant for him to try to check for a pulse while he was on the phone with the 911 operator. I saw an ambulance come and it had three guys. And I don't know how I knew this but I just knew this third EMT was a rookie. I could feel it on him. I could also hear the thoughts of everyone in the restaurant including the EMTs. But you could hear them audibly as if someone was like broadcasting that. And that was really that was odd to me. And it felt almost like it was a production like I was watching a film. And I remember having the thought that this is an interesting choice for the director to

5:14be showing me this this film or show where I'm hearing everyone's thoughts. They attempted resuscitation. They did some chest compressions. Didn't work. And so they did pronounce me DOA or dead on a rival. They rolled out one of these bright yellow body bags, put the body in it, strapped it down to this gurney and put it in the back of the ambulance. Again, I'm witnessing all of this from above. And that was another odd ball thing for me. I didn't understand why they were shooting this whole movie from above. It didn't make sense because you know, movies you shoot from in front of the target instead of above the target. And I was just kind of contemplating that at the same time as I was really enjoying this peacefulness that was just fully surrounding me and embodying me. As they were going down the street in the back of the ambulance, I could actually hear the thoughts of this rookie medic. I could hear him really

6:18beating himself up and feeling bad that first week on the job, he's got his first death. And he didn't like that. He felt like, you know, if it was him in charge, that he would have tried harder and longer to try to resuscitate the body. And he felt that they were short-changing that process by quitting so fast. He felt like they should have stayed longer and tried longer. And he was thinking this and as he was thinking it, he started to have this weird glow start inside of him as if there was a light inside of his shirt. And as it started to brighten and get brighter and brighter and brighter, then I actually heard audibly very loud a voice almost like yell but not yell but firmly speak very loud. This one's not dead. And instantly he opened the body bag. He didn't feel any pulse, didn't feel any sign of life whatsoever. And so he undid another strap and was down trying to feel for the large artery and the leg. And as he was

7:22doing that, I felt an actual spark like a shock to me as if somebody shocked me with a car battery or shocked me with electricity. And I saw him jump right when I felt that. And it wasn't a pulse. He knew it wasn't a pulse but it was something. And to him that was enough, he wanted to try to resuscitate this body. Despite all the signs that said, you know, give up, don't do this, including protocol that they're not supposed to continue to resuscitate after a certain point. So he broke protocol. He went ahead and force fed oxygen into the lungs. He hooked up a machine called a D-Fib machine to shock the heart. On the first round of shocks, there was nothing. On the second round, he got a single heartbeat out of the heart. And as soon as that first heartbeat happened, the other two medics went silent, dead silent. And they instantly snapped into motion.

8:24The front passenger, he was radioing ahead to the hospital. I saw them actually bring the body and transferred it to the hospital. And still, I had no idea what I was watching, thought I was being entertained and witnessing it from above. But as they transferred the body into the hospital gurney and they started to work on it, the body went into seizures and started to vomit some more. And as it was, the medical professionals decided they needed to restrain the body. So they put these straps on it. They put the straps on the legs, put the straps on the right arm. And then when they went to strap the left arm, I felt someone strapping me. And that was the first inkling that what I was watching was interactive, that I was involved somehow. It wasn't just entertainment. This was something connected to me. And then it dawned on me that the entire time I had been watching my own death. And as I did, I went into the spiral of fear

9:29that how could I be so, so dumb to not know that everything I've been watching was me and my own death. And then instantaneous, almost in a snap, I started to see all the bad things I ever did. And I mean all, like, even as a little small child, anything that was selfish or negative influence on someone else, I saw it, but I didn't just see it from my eyes. I saw it from my eyes and I saw it from the eyes of anyone it impacted by my actions or my words. And it was weird because I could feel like that lasted a long time, but at the same time, it felt like a few seconds. And as that was happening, I started to get kind of enveloped in this dark energy, this fear energy. And as it felt like it was starting to snuff out my light, I then all of a sudden started to feel this warmth. As if somebody shined like a really bright light or the sun came out from

10:30behind a cloud and started to warm my back. And as it did, that warmth started to come over my whole being. And I turned around to see where this warmth was coming from. As I was turning, I was seeing all the good things I ever did in my life. I started to see that I actually did quite a bit more good than I ever did bad. And I got to see that lots of times when I didn't know I was making a difference for people I was. And I felt this just tremendous, unconditional love and peace and warmth, but also coolness at the same time coming over me. And again, it was all coming from behind me. So I turned fully around and I see this gentleman. And I had this thought, you must be God. And without him moving his mouth, he said, no son, I'm not God. I'm your guide. I kind of followed up with, are you Jesus? Because being raised Christian, you know, I just

11:36didn't quite understand the dynamic of what I was watching, what I was seeing, what I was experiencing. So my follow up question was to ask if he's Jesus Christ. And he, he again answered, no son, I'm not Jesus. I'm your guide. And he explained his name as Drake and that he was here to help me go wherever I wanted to go. He motioned with his hand like, do you want to go back to your body? And I looked back and I could still see the hospital room and they were doing so many things to save this man's life, my life. And it looked like so much pain. There was no question that I didn't want to go to the body. I wanted to go wherever this energy is that he was sending to me. And I explain that to him, I want to go wherever this love or wherever this energy is coming from, I want to go there. And he said, okay, that's that's coming from your home where where you came from originally where I came from originally and I can take you back there. So we began our journey.

12:40I felt like we were going towards heaven and I had recently kind of cleaned up my life and started to live a lot better life. I felt like I deserved to get in to heaven. And I told him, I said, well, that's perfect. I already know what I need to know. I've accepted all the things that you're supposed to accept so you can get into heaven. And he looked at me kind of like I was a toddler, like with a loving smile on his face. And he explained that he was very happy that I felt that way. But he wanted to help me get to even a higher level of understanding of that love that he was allowing to me or he was bringing to me. And that in that understanding, we could actually go to our home. But I did have to raise my understanding. And in the process, I had to raise my love energy, which that's hard to understand what that is here on this side of things. But that love

13:40energy is is a real frequency or energy of that's around us every day. And that energy is so high there, it wouldn't be possible to take somebody from here and just bring them there. They wouldn't match that energy. It's almost like they wouldn't even see that space at all. And he explained that to me in simple terms. But it's so hard to explain because everything was nonverbal. It was just direct understanding. So we began this journey. And I kind of had this, oh, I know it's all going to be about love. That's got to be what this is about. And he said, no, actually, the first and foremost, most important thing I have to start with. And the foundation of my growth as a spiritual being is to understand authenticity and to be an embodiment of that authenticity. And if I can't have that authentic self or know what my authentic self is, I can't

14:44grow. And so he showed me how I didn't I didn't think that I was being inauthentic. But he showed me that I had a lot of different masks that I was wearing. I would put on a certain mask to be with my parents or partying at a nightclub or a party. There was all these different faces that I wore. And he helped me understand that I had to peel away all those masks and allow myself to figure out who I was at my core. And from there, I could build my love energy. I could build my love frequency to to closer match that love energy of heaven. And essentially, I had to stitch together all these ideas of who I was to see the commonality. And as I discovered who I really was, then we were able to actually start moving away from life here on earth and start moving to this

15:47dimensional space. And so we began that climbing of the dimensions to get to heaven. And that brought me to what I thought was going to be love again. And I said, okay, so now we're going to do love. Now that I've learned authenticity and Drake loved that. And he said, that's a great idea. And yeah, you're right. You can't love until you are authentic. But first, even before love, we need to understand why you came to earth. And he explained the earth is just a school that it's always been just a classroom. And it's never been a courtroom. And that was different for me because it wasn't that I was necessarily officially taught that life and earth was a courtroom. I had assumed it from my teaching, from my learning in Christianity. I thought that life was a courtroom where you were coming to be judged, classified and either kept, you know, retained into heaven or cast away the hell. And he explained that no, no, no, I had misunderstood

16:51the teachings and that actually earth school had always been just a school, a place where we come to learn, to grow and to develop spiritually, to learn how to build with our thoughts and with our love energy, build relationships and build cohesive energies to each other, which is relationships. And to grow that energy, grow our ability to love, to reflect love, give love, and to feel love ourselves. Then we got to love. That love was a very important principle in all this and it was the, and is the strongest energy in the universe. And essentially is the building blocks of the universe. It's what moves and motivates and makes the whole system run. And when you can understand that you can understand that you're the one that's in charge.

17:51Drake taught me a lot of different principles as we made this progress, one that really stuck out to me and has since stood out to me quite a bit, is as we make positive deposits into the universe, we get positive dividends. But if we make negative deposits, we get negative dividends. And that includes our thoughts and mostly includes our thoughts, not just our actions. So how important it is for us to control those thoughts and understand that we have the power of creation with our thoughts. And from there, he also helped me understand that, you know, if thought is creation, how important it would be for me to honor that power of thought creation in my own life and really control what I'm allowing in me as far as energy. Specifically, he was talking about like media and entertainment. And he wanted me to understand that if I allow negative media or negative

18:53entertainment around me, it's going to get into my energetic body and it will be hard to get rid of it. So it was important to not allow myself around that type of energy. Specifically, he helped me understand that principle I call it the hour of power, the first 30 minutes when we wake up and the last 30 minutes before we go to bed. What we put in that space essentially becomes our religion or it becomes what we worship. And if we put in that space news or we put in that space sports or stocks, we put any of these things in our hour of power. We end up bowing down our energy to that and that becomes essentially our God. And that if we want to worship the real love of the universe, our real God, the real creator of the universe, that it's important that we put honorable things, positive things in our hour of power, things that lift us up, build love in the universe,

19:54positive energy. And as we do that, we frame our day with our hour of power making us a positive individual versus a negative individual. And as I would embrace a certain principle, I would actually feel the trajectory of us moving faster and faster and faster. And we weren't just moving from, you know, point A to point B, we were actually moving dimensions. I could feel the stickiness of dimensions as we would move through another dimension. And it almost felt like we were moving through layers of plastic. You would cut through it and all of a sudden it was easy for a while. I actually started to see this, this big beautiful bright space. At first, it looks like a sun, really does, but it looks like it's a million times bigger than our sun. Just huge. As we got closer and closer and closer, I saw this mist. It almost looked like a wide band of

20:58cloud around the whole space. And as we approached this band, I was starting to notice that this mist was not actually a mist. It was a compilation of all these spheres, these round pearls or orbs that were almost like opalescent. You could see through them, and you could see their full of light themselves. And as we got closer and closer, I was very intrigued by these. And I asked Drake, I'm like, what is that? And with just having the question, he was able to instantly take my consciousness where I was and put me inside of one of them. So I could see what was going on inside. And there, I saw this, this gentleman from a far earlier era than what I was raised in. Probably either the late 1800s or early 1900s, just with his attire, what he was showing up in. And he was, he was cussing in Italian and just going off,

22:01talking, and it was weird, even though he was cussing in Italian, I could understand every word that he was saying. And he was talking about his son, how his son had betrayed him, and that ended his life. And in his mind's eye, he was looking at his son, but his son wasn't there. It was just in his mind. And this, this gentleman, it got to a point where he, he took this big breath. And it was like, like trying to, trying to breathe, but he was a spirit body. He looked around and realized that he wasn't where he thought he was. And as soon as he had that realization, all this light came around him. And to me, it looked like angels, like real angels, not, not the painted pictures of angels, but like real messengers of God surrounded him. And then instantly they escorted him into that space, into the heaven space that we were going towards.

23:02So to me, this is the pearly gate. This is the gate of pearls, these orbs, these big orbs, that I was given to the understanding that as we tried to raise our love energy to get to heaven, the last little bit, we have to exit all the victim energy off of us. We have to exit all the anger, all the hatred, exit any of these low frequencies, energies off of us, so that we can get to that highest love energy to get into heaven. And that the pearly gate, if you want to call it that, or the gate of pearls, is there for us, not to keep us out, but to help get us ready to get in. You know, my experience of going in there and seeing him and seeing that whole process, it all was running off of love, all of it, truly unconditional love for him, for me, for everyone in there. And as we got closer and closer, I could see mountains, I could see this very large pond,

24:02a beautiful orchard on one end of the pond, and these beautiful trees and grass and flowers, and I could see in the far distance of building as well. And we touched down on the grass, I could actually feel the grass. And even though I didn't have a physical body, like a tangible physical body from earth, I had an energetic body, and I could look down and see my toes, I could look down and see my hands, and I touched down on this grass. And as soon as I touched down on the grass, it was like I got plugged into my home. And it was like, for the first time in my memory, I felt where like I'd finally found my home. I'd finally found where I was supposed to be. And there was this interaction just with the contact of the grass, where the grass came up and met my feet and my feet met the grass. There was like a commingling there, there was a connection there. And as that connection happened, I could feel the loving presence coming from this grass.

25:09And the grass itself had a sweet sweet smell, and even had a taste, even to touch it, you could taste it. And it had a music, almost like a symphony coming off of it. And light was emitting out of the grass. And that's what I noticed, that everything there emitted light, like source light was coming from every object in that space, not from an outside source, like a sun, but from inside everything. And as I was doing this, I was plugging into the grass and recognizing consciousness in this grass. And to me, from my perception, that consciousness is our creator. And it was in everything in heaven. It was in the orbs outside of heaven. It was in the grass. It was in the flowers. It was in the waters. It was in the trees. It was in everything in that space.

26:09Everything. And so I got kind of the, I joke around, I got the tourist visa of heaven, because I got to see all the plant life, the water, and the healing attributes of water in heaven. It completely heals you of any energetic damage that may still reside in you from earth life. I was raising a fairly abusive home. And that abuse stuck. I was a broken kid. And I channeled that brokenness into rugby and into bodybuilding and into fighting too. And that's why I've got some scars on the head is from the fights and from the rugby and such, but I didn't need to channel that anymore after that. That water healed me. It went in all those cracks that were beat into me and abused into me over my life. And it healed it. I became a different person,

27:12not physically but energetically from that point forward. I could feel Drake. He came around and stood to the side of me. And he said, Vinny, this is going to be hard, but it's going to be worth it. And as he hugged me, hugs are very, very different there. Because when we hug each other here, we're copying what a hug is there. And a hug there is where you're bringing two energies of maybe yin and yang. And you're actually bringing them together to become one. And any power or energy that I had, and he had, as we came together, we became like eight times stronger than what we could have been on our own. And this is a principle that is like an eternal principle that as we can come together in unity, in commonality, in true unconditional love, we can become eight times greater than what we

28:15could ever become on our own. I then started to hear a prayer being given to my body. Now, meanwhile, my body was brain dead for three days in a coma on earth. And I was hearing as if the prayer was being said in my ear, I was hearing this prayer being given over my body. And it was being given by my brother. And it had a tremendous amount of love that I didn't know that my brother had. But it wasn't just his love for me. It was the love he had for my mom and how broken she would be if she lost her son to this. And that love energy was really, really strong. To me, it felt like it completely removed my ability to choose to stay in heaven. And at that point, to me, it felt instantaneous. I went from hearing this prayer to waking up in my body.

29:22I woke up in the hospital. I felt instantaneous claustrophobia. Tubes coming out of me, diodes and IVs stuck in me everywhere. I pulled everything off. I pulled everything off. I was on on life support. So I had a lot of equipment hooked up to me. Even the gown that was on me had some blood on it and everything. I just yanked it off and I just stood there naked. For a moment, just taking some deep breaths, trying to push that claustrophobia feeling away from me. And as that was happening, I noticed all these alarms going off on the equipment next to me. So I went around and unplugged everything that I could. And stuff that I couldn't unplug, I just yanked it, even if it was attached to what I still yanked it out of the wall. I was done with that. I didn't want any of that. I needed to get away from whatever all that equipment was. And I didn't recognize that I was naked. And so I went rifling through the cupboards, found a couple of gowns, wrapped them around my midsection. I went straight for the elevator.

30:25When I heard a scream and it was coming from my room, one of the nurses had come in and saw like somebody had body snatched this guy that was in a coma, you know. And she was freaking out. Another nurse came over. She screamed as they saw me. And I had this knowing that I had to go back. I had to help these nurses so they didn't get in trouble. And do whatever they need me to do. So I did have to sign about a phone book worth of paperwork to liability release them as I self-checked myself out of the hospital. My dad picked me up at 730 in the morning. And I entered the darkest period of my life. Coming back was the worst thing to ever happen to me. Dying was awesome. Dying was easy. As soon as I relaxed into it and I embraced it, it was beautiful. It's so crazy that we put so much fear around death because that was the best part.

31:32The hard part was coming back. To me, that was worse than death. It felt like a second death to be removed out of heaven. Because that's my home. I know it's my home. I wanted to die so bad. I contemplated suicide, but I knew if I did that, I would mess things up. And so I finally settled into I needed to ride this out. I needed to figure this out myself. Weeks later, I actually went and sought medical professional help. He explained that what I was seeing and hearing was a delusion and that he was going to give me some prescriptions for calming that down, like an anti-psychotic type drug. As he was riding out the prescriptions, three of them, by the way, an older woman showed up to me in spirit and she said, you need to deliver this message to this doctor. And it was a message about his history and his past.

32:39And I'm like, no, I'm not going to, I'm already diagnosed as crazy here. I'm not going to get diagnosed as more crazy. And she said, no, you've got to communicate this to him. So I said, like, doc, I got to tell you something. There's a lady here and I describe what she looked like. And I said, this is what she's telling me. There's some things you forgot about your past. And I laid it all out there. It was, it took me 90 seconds to tell it. This is a real good Christian doctor. He said, get the F out of my office. And it freaked me out. It surprised me. And I didn't even try to grab the prescriptions or anything. I just left. And as I was leaving his receptionist, I was like, what did you do? He's never yelled at a patient his entire career. What did you do? And I'm like, I don't know. I just delivered a little message. And as I was driving down the street, my phone rang and I picked it up as him. It's the doctor.

33:42And he's calling from his cell phone. He was, you can hear his driving. He was like, Vinnie, he said, whatever you've got, I don't understand it. He said, all of his clinical and medical education had no process to treat what I have. But he said that what I delivered to him was a memory that he had completely blocked. He did not remember it. But when I delivered that, it hit him with such a force that he realized that that was the hidden experience in his life that motivated him into the mental health field. And with that experience, he said, you've got to figure out how you're going to trust this and how you're going to work with this. But he said, but I can't help you. In that process, I kept hearing from my spirit guides that it was going to be worth it. It's going

34:45to be hard, but it was going to be worth it. And so I held on. I kept holding on. And I met my earth angel, my heaven angel, which is my wife. The first time I met her, I actually could see, I could truly see heaven, like a little slice of heaven coming from her eyes. And it was the first time I witnessed that love of God in a human being on earth. The month before we got married, we were in this little town in Wyoming, watching a historical presentation of this town, often Wyoming. And they're doing a slide show in front of all of us about the different founders of the town. And up comes this slide. All of a sudden, I feel this like cold stiffness to the air. And Andrea says, that's your guide, that's your guide. I had been telling her so much about my experience. She felt like she really

35:47knew what my guide looked like. And so when I popped my head up and I looked, I freaked out because now all of a sudden, this was not a delusion. This was not my mind making up things because I was oxygen deprived. I was seeing Drake in real life from earth. And it said his name was Charles because it had the name underneath each slide. It said the name was Charles Couser. And my grandmother was a Couser. And so we went straight to my grandmother's house and I asked her. I said, grandma, Charles Couser, tell me about Charles Couser and her exact words were, oh, you mean great grandpa Drake. He's pretty famous in our family. And again, I just like melted into tears because it was real to me now. Finally, until that happened, I still thought this is just your brain making things up. Because I had doctors telling me that. And I was thinking they were probably right that it was just

36:52I was messed up in the head. But as I saw the face of Drake and come to find out that even the name, I found out later from my grandmother that he was officially known as Charles Couser. Professionally, he was also in government. He worked in government. And in clergy, he was a clergyman. And he was always known as Charles Couser, but all of his friends and all of his family called him Drake. That was his middle name. He was a big foundational part of this town in afted Wyoming. He was one of the original site surveyors of the land out there so that people could have parcels and farms and such. So it was it was really an amazing thing to get that confirmation of who he was in this life. The purpose for us to be here is for us to come and learn. We're here to learn the power of creation. And we're here in this safe place because it's

37:59removed from heaven from where we are home is so that we can come play at the playground at earth school, learn how to create, learn how to make decisions, learn how to control our thoughts, so that when we come back when we allow that that part of our consciousness back up to our self, then we feel like we've grown a little. We've learned a little bit better how to control thoughts. Because here's the weird thing. When we're in heaven, there's so much love there that anything that God wants or the Creator wants. We instantly want that too. We can't have our own independent thought or desire because we're in such synchronization with God. So we learned that we have to step away from God but not not in reality but lend a piece of ourselves away from God and that piece itself is what grows as it comes back to us. We go through this veil of forgetfulness because if we could even remember how much God loves us, it would completely change every decision we make.

39:06The biggest difference for me is all of my solutions were worldly solutions and very little spiritual solutions before my NDE. And spirituality and God was almost like a last-ditch effort if I tried everything else, then I would seek God. Whereas after my experience, God was right there and my connection to God and to Spirit is my first check-in for everything. And I'd say that's the biggest difference where God is a part of my daily existence in everything I do. Whereas before God would be a part of my life once in a while on a Sunday and that's about it. It's not about your jobs. It's not about your careers. It's about your interactions. It's about how you treat those around you. It's how you're treating the gas station attendants, how you treating the mailman and how you're treating your coworkers, how you're treating your family. That's what it's about.

40:14It's about the love energy within you. As you love others, you actually raise your energy. But as you fill any type of lack of love, you're drawing energy off of people. So in life, we can be energy producers or energy consumers. And that works with love, that works with all sorts of energy. And unfortunately in this world where it's such a consumer society, everything's about me, me, me. But our real existence is about giving love. You're taught a principle in heaven. Anything that you're lacking, go give to someone else and you will now receive exactly what you need. But don't get it by going and getting it for yourself. Get it by giving it to someone else. And that allows you to receive it and keep it much longer. Once you step away from the board game of life and you realize you are not the suffering

41:19that's been going on, that you are this higher being built out of love, that you weren't meant to suffer. You weren't meant to do any of that. You're doing it voluntarily to learn and to grow. And just like when you shape a sword, you have to shape it by pounding it, heating it, tempering it, sharpening it. And the sword's going to hate you while it's being made. But after it's made, as it steps away and it sees how beautiful it is, it's going to be grateful for it. And many times in this life we get tunnel vision, we're seeing the hurt, we're seeing the victimhood that we are. But guess what? Have a negative thought, you will create more negative. So even though you may be a real victim, which I was, don't allow your thoughts to stay there. Choose to be a victor or to be victorious over your victimness. And as you do that, choose the light,

42:19choose the love thoughts. You will actually leave that victimhood. And the power is inside you and always is inside you. And the holiest temple in the whole universe is right here between these two temples. What you allow in there gives you the keys to the universe or it becomes a cage to lock you in. And it's your, your ability to allow positive thoughts that allows you the keys to the universe.