Larry and Booket Die

0:00Hey, it's Seth here to tell you three things before the episode starts. Number one, only a few tickets remain for our live show in New York City on Sunday, October 11th. So if you have been on the fence, if you're considering going, grab your tickets now to join for a live episode recording, we are so pumped for that it's been a while. Number two, an infinite number of live stream tickets are available for that same show. So no matter where you live, no matter how far from the quadrant of Manhattan, we hope that you will tune in. That's it. Right. No, three things. Number three, we are thrilled to learn that fans of Mission to Zix are putting together the second ever Zixcon to coincide with that October live show. We hear it will include a talent show, cosplay, panels, way more. Some of us on the cast are planning to swing by. You never know what you'll see. At the first Zixcon, we saw Stephen Chakowski's performance of sailing for Krune, the C. Shanti, which of course we then studio recorded with a full band and canonized in episode 519.

1:00There were amazing costumes and way more. So if you're planning to come to the show on Sunday, the 11th, go to Zixcon. That's going to be the day before the live show, Saturday, October 10th in Brooklyn, and extra cool. They are donating all the proceeds from that show to two amazing charities. Links for all three, the live show, the live stream, and Zixcon to the wrath of con are all in the show notes of this episode. Hope to see you at one of those. And here's the episode. Welcome back, Dungeonaires and Dragon Slayers. It's your trepid DM here, Alden Ford, along with the crew of Mission to Zix. Hello, everyone. Just a Dungeonier here. Yeah, yeah. We haven't slain any dragons just yet. Who knows if they're B-Dragons in this world? I think they're B-Dragon. There must be. We have had quite a series of adventures, some of which were longer than others. We've just finished one of our longest, and the crew has finally reunited past the concurrent rivers

2:05in a little tavern in the humble cliffside town of Stumbles Bluff, the little river town on the north side of the concurrent rivers. Should we do a quick recap? I feel like we've had a lot going on, and it's been a few weeks since we've completely completed. Okay, great. As I had my Wi-Fi failing out, let's run it out. Larry and Sam Zies are getting blasted at a... We're wasted by the way, at a tavern, and the rest of the legumes have vanquished a bunch of demon of darkness and piranhas. And the crew are out a series of caves and spiders and snakes of mine. Yeah, barely. And I finally got the honor back from my wife's ex, who I really put back in his place. And I met my muse, Dan Cieco. Wow. Dan Cieco. Dan Cieco was a real inspiration to us all, I think. Yeah, and the caves went really well. You guys vanquished some foes.

3:07The stores have sure some of quarials renowned and reputation throughout the lands. If the priest at the Rodeon Church there in Craven's Roost was telling the truth, and there's no reason to believe he wasn't, he is going to spread word far and wide of quarials, heroism. Yeah. Congratulations. That was dangerous, and I sort of thought you might die out there. And maybe, I mean, not that Larry or Sam Zies really got to meet him, but we made a really good friend of weird guy Sqelch who left us to become the fairy man. Yeah, Sqelch has been left behind at the fairy. I see so wanted. Which will, yes, yeah, he really seems very eager to know. He may appear again, you may never know. Sure, I mean, he's all around. I feel like he covers a lot of ground, so I suspect we'll run into a whole Sqelch he again with your adventures complete and your embarrassment mostly mitigated. You guys have been up and down the river. Yep. I'm there. You guys have ended up in Stumbles Bluffs. At a little town right off of the bridge, it's Bluffs Plural.

4:11Yeah. Stumbles Bluffs. Stumbles Bluffs. Okay. Stumbles Bluffs. Got it. Sorry, Seth, have you ever seen one bluff? A solo bluff. Have you seen one bluff? Well, I'm from Wisconsin where there is a town called Maple Bluff, singular. I think there's usually one bluff. Oh, is that the case? Yeah, I think Ali suspects that you might be bluffing. I'm bluffing. Thank you. I'm bluffing. That's the time when bluff is usually singular. I think in my experience. Okay. Great. Stumbles Bluffs. So it's real serendipity that you find each other again, because certainly Larian Samzies were not attempting to locate you. They've been getting blasted in the tavern, but it was the first and most attractive tavern. As soon as you get off the bridge, crossing the northern river, it's a quaint but well-appointed little tavern called the Hungry Orce. And the remaining four adventures

5:15file into the tavern and see the dance Diego. Why don't you run to your fairy? You're so jucky, manny. I do like this. Larian Samzies are right in the midst of a rousing round of fairyokie, not karaoke. They don't have that in this world, but this is fairyokie, which is singing sort of thing that is unique to these fairy and Ford towns. Wait, it's F-E-R-R-Y? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is hosted by F-A-E-R-I-E. Oh, we'll see. That's confusing. I thought it was fairyokie. Is that honestly, as a bard with St. Samzies, you're very okay at fairyokie. But it's a great time. Everybody's having fun. You guys file in and just relieve to not be in a dark cavern, bleeding. You guys nurse your wounds, throw back a few drinks.

6:18You guys have some fun. Queryl still kind of rough shape, huh? Yeah, yeah. You're all in pretty rough shape. Is anybody have their current hit points listed? Yeah, my says 13. Okay, okay. That's not too much. Oh, we did a long rest in the caves to get regained stuff. You did a short rest in the cavern. Not a long rest, but that can come soon, if you like. Man, what I give for a long rest in my real life, I know. Yeah. You're talking about death? I think you mean death. A long rest when I'm dead. That seems like a t-shirt that nerds should wear, right? Anyway, so you guys all join in the revelry. It's a great time. But you gotta let me know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How tall is Nancy Yego? Great. Okay, I have to apologize. Dwayne is 29 for 29. He has not. Oh, yeah, you have not. You don't have a scratch on you. I was crushed against the roof of a cave by a minotaur skeleton.

7:24And it attacks by the Miderspan. Yeah. Boy, Larry, so how did your pot go? My bride. My beautiful bride. Hello. We had a hard time too. As we almost missed our boat. Yeah. How was the person that you met? Did they mention me or I don't know? Yes, and they've gotten so ugly. Oh. Scarred. Face scars. Genital scars. I checked. It's a mess. To mess. You're lucky to be out of that relationship. Relation. Genital scars? Yes, I don't know what. Scars on scars. A lot of mishaps. Series of mishaps. Genital mishaps. All with his genitals. He had a couple. What? That's why you were so confident. Uh-oh. Never mind. I'll find someone like the Anciego. I wish nothing but fellas.

8:25Larry, is this the same Danciego? We saw a large strapping. Perhaps a 10 of 10. Uh-oh, he's 10. 10, but you know, you can't spell 10 without a 1 and a 0. And those numbers are low. Oh. Okay. Larry's right. Anyway, we should move ahead in our lives. What's up next? Are we doing brunch or what? It's like 6 p.m. Are we doing night brunch or what? Uh-oh. Night brunch. It's a good idea, you know. What? Oh, same Danci. Growing up. I'm good. Wow. Uh-oh. It's for the best. He's had a over one. Be aware. I feel like same Danci should have to roll for whether he's booting in rallying or just... You don't have to roll the boot, but you do have to roll the rally. Yeah, sure. Yeah, Winston, go ahead and roll out. Yeah, you know what?

9:26The vibe is good, so I'm going to make it a DC 11. A DC 11. The vibe is good. A constitution check. Okay. Oh! I roll the 12. Oh, good, great, great, great. I was hanging on by a thread. He was just making room for the next one. Yep, yep. You head off to the bar and grab a pint of something. Question who has... Remember that orb with the man inside? What happened to that? Pretty sure you had it. Oh! Right. No, I think it was given to Quarriol, actually. Yes, it is. Quarriol's keeping it. Oh, good. Okay. Quarriol is very quiet. Well, I tire of the singing of songs. Quarriol, you're up next. You're having you out to sing. We put your name in. It's very oaky. Do to your improved reputation, they moved your name to the head of the list. You are next. Oh, beer. A song. I can't wait to hear it. Working on my night brunch. I got it. Good, very good.

10:27Wow, it's a short one. Short, good, good one. That's it. Oh, unlike the long songs all of you sang. You know, I'm surprised because I thought he'd mention Rodos in his song, but he didn't. Rodos going to be pissed, Quarriol. So soon after my reputation was restored. Yeah, it seems like I brought you tonight. Yeah, the day brunch would be more of a Rodos hit. How did everything go? You guys look kind of beat up and... I feel great. You look amazing. You look... Thank you. I actually think I look better... I was about to say. Then when I went into the tank. You look like a little like you have a glow. That dinkness really served your skin. Yeah. Cave the rest of you. Well, Quarriol looks pretty... Are you okay, buddy? I'm fine. Okay. That is the I'm fine of a man who nearly perished. We battled through three levels of increasing evil, vanquishing foe, after foe,

11:29to restore the glory of Quarriol and indeed our entire... Laguma group. That's what we're calling ourselves, yeah? I forgot the word fellowship, before I've already cut Hicken of Much Mead. Fair enough. And you was afford equally scary? Yes, I fought the great enemy of known as Envy. And uh, Samgis fell in love, so, you know, we struggled. Amazing. During my times alone, because so much of it, it was just me fighting by myself. Larry, I really started to think about, and yes, my voice has changed. Very different. You went through something, hon. It's big. We start sleeping in the same room. Perhaps the room might be as one, but the bed shall still remain separate. I'll take what I can get. You seem to be married to a totally different person, obviously.

12:29We go through many phases in marriage, Quarriol, you wouldn't, you'll understand someday, when you marry Rodo, so whatever. I will not marry Rodo, because I have sworn and oath. Are we to take a book of that in your lonely cave quest, you fell even deeper in love with Larry? No! Wait, what? I just, I just was just thinking like maybe we should have like quality time or like something, I don't. You know, something like that, like play puzzles. Why is she walking away? Did you almost die? What, this is? And now her voice is returned to original access. I miss the new voice. So we're getting dinner or what? What's the deal? Night brunch. We're working out a night brunch. We're working out a night brunch. Oh, he's sung the same song again in its entirety. No, no, he's not. So as the, as the six of you, nope, we're still talking. As the six of you continue to relive your adventures and share stories, you congregate at a table, order a quick night brunch,

13:31and as the evening continues, the tavern becomes more lively and more exciting. Performers show up, towns, people come in, and you've really gathered at a very lively sort of center town here in Stumbles Bluffs at the Hungry Oris. And as Faryoki ends, which is really sort of for the barflies, a more sort of structured and the most furnishous type of fly. A kind of lively series of performances begins to happen. It seems like everyone is sort of expected to bring something. Some people will do a magic trick or if perform a feat of strength or some slight of hand or a story or a song of some kind. And as you have gotten to know some of the bar patrons and stuff, there's some partner acts. There's a guy, Somersault Peterson. What does he do? He mostly does poems. He's a singer. Somersaults. A poem guy. He wears like a real tight sort of, you know,

14:31tunic and pants of the very colorful. He kind of looks like a jester who didn't make the cut. He's doing a lot of flipping around. And stuff, it's actually sort of impressive. But in the way that like you can tell he's used to sort of doing it for free. But when he finishes, he's got a really loud. He's got a loud little horn. Orn. Orn that he blows. That loud horn. The crowd is so lively and engaged and excited that, you know, when people finish their performances, they get sometimes people throw them some coins or a trinket of some kind. It's definitely a... There's the orb. Well... We will not throw the orb. Okay. No performance should be good enough to claim the orb. Don't wait. Wait until we see. Maybe you'll be charmed. But after a while, you're enjoying all of these performances and the innkeeper. A guy named Tom Furkins comes on over and he says, why don't you join in the revelry? Who's got a story or a song? Maybe a performance of some kind?

15:32Show off your... What you're good at. You guys looked like you're... You're experienced travelers. Maybe you can impress these small townsfolk and weary travelers. I would be happy to regale these travelers with the tale of Rodus the Sunlighter. Oh, okay. All right. Tis a long story. She'll take many hours to tell. I've heard this one, I think. We end up at a lot more open Michaels than I figured I would. And, Ailes, and this is not an open Michael. No, this is a gathering of community and travelers. Also, Tis a holy tale. So if you could convince your patrons to not partake of alcohol as I tell it, that's my preference. I'll do what I can. A no drink maximum. My man Query all over here. I'll see what I can do. He grabs a spoon off the table and sort of clinks it against his tanker. Excuse me. Everyone, ladies and gentlemen, this paladin has a tale he'd like to share. Stop booing. Stop booing. Tis a worthwhile tale.

16:34Tis the only worthwhile tale that of Rodus the Sunlighter. The very being that we should all be on our knees right now, thanking for the gift of life. There is dead silence in the tavern. Crock my nuts. What? What did you say? Crock my nuts. How dare you? I am a paladin from the Sunlighter sir. Who said that? Query I'll just continue to don't engage with the actress. I said Crock my nuts. Well I see he's responded. Sorry I've lost my place. Before Rodus the Sunlighter or was darkness to be birthed to the world was to be birthed to a blackness of unceasing misery. As you're telling this tale, sort of skinny dude sitting next to the fire begins to play haunting loot medley to go along with your story here and people kind of perk up their ears and

17:36kind of connect the music to the story and they're sort of paying attention. Just to be clear the music is not part of the story of Rodus the Sunlighter but I shall allow it to continue. Anyway, Rodus is the man who looked at this land of eternal darkness and said no. No, I shall not allow my fellow man to suffer and such a way. A good man, a noble man, perhaps the most noble man who ever lived. Rodus the Sunlighter. A guy in the front row raises his hand real quick and says, you say Rodus is a man? Before he was like a deity or a magician of some kind. A magician. Oh no, a magician. A magic man, you know. Do you? How would a regular man like the Sun? He was no regular man but he was no magician sir. Oh another prisoner. So, to guess another question. Oi, I thought that Rodus was a woman.

18:38Sorry, is this book interesting? Someone else is a book. Oh okay, okay, it's a book. This is a book. Book it, I will prefer you save this question into after this. Some say Rodus. That's all I'm saying. Deal with it. Rodus is of course covered in their gleaming armor and most depictions. So it is impossible to tell whether they be man, woman or a magic man. Not a magic man. Oh. Well he did some magic didn't he? What was the original magic sir? Was it all the magic to the Sun? They were what was it? Oh big old flint and tinder. He like crafts his- No. Was I miracle sir? No. Was the greatest event that ever happened in the East Area of our world. Good code. It's a simple trick. A simple magic like the cards that we saw earlier from Thomas Olpideson. As you grab this guy's cloak, your fists sort of start to glow and

19:40fire leaps from the ray of rotos and engulfs this guy in flame. Oh wow. Oh wow. He drops to the ground. A bunch of people pour like tankers of ale on it. And the tavern erupts in rocus a pause. Everybody starts throwing coins at you. No no no no this is too up a dish. This is not the message of the- Yes! No no no no no no no no no. You trucked his nuts. You trucked his nuts. You trucked his nuts. I did not mean to truck any nuts of any kind. This was not my way. Yeah I should return to my seat. I worship you. I worship you now. No don't worship me. I worship you. I worship you. No he just you. I worship you. You lit my fire. My terracy. That's her seat. Don't do that. Great. Who's next? Well he's eight feet tall and hairy as a bear.

20:40He likes to go across the face. He's got a smile that can lie up the sun. No offense. Hey. Careful. What's his name? Day. Day. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Good. Everybody cheers. Colleins are throwing at you. The loot is coming. The loot is coming. The loot is coming. The loot is coming. The loot is coming. The loot is coming. In order to do your job well. When the loot is coming back from seal's convenction and sayiness in the morning. We get Henderson you can kill you stupid.

21:41That's what they plan to Mark of a great performer. You're still on fire sir sir you're still on fire Oh Pat it out quickly Who's next? Okay? Mine's a simple a simple talent. Oh If I could just ask Sam Z's quarrel quarrels do friend if you could sit here Yeah, okay great my half-pined friend Book it and Larry if you could sit in these three chairs So you're on these three chairs you're in these three chairs It's pretty much an even distribution of weight and I just run this broomstick underneath and You're gonna have to roll for that you're gonna lift them up. Yeah, okay? I'm gonna that's a DC 15 to lift all of your friends up. Okay. Oh I rolled a 21 So I'm really show-boding now. Yeah, oh

22:44People are their minds are blown Now I want I'm inviting people from the bar to come join you know, let's let's add more weight I only worry about the broomstick Yeah, that's the most impressive thing is that the broomstick has not snapped Shrewsly all right two or three more people climb on now. It's a DC 18 string 24 20 that 20 is then plus four now. You're swirling it above your head people are standing on the bar cheering More more more more a couple more people get on Somebody who throws a keg of ale on top of the pile now. It's a DC 20 strength check Still 20 baby Yeah People are people are losing their minds. They're pouring beer over their heads. They're drinking straight from the keg

23:46Okay, somebody brings somebody brings in a pony from the outside Like straps it to the broomstick. It's after titular hungry. Oh No, it's a peckish into peckish pony So you now it's a DC 22 strength check Another 24 This is awesome everybody's losing their minds. They're setting fire to chairs. It's just it's absolute pandemonium people are like jumping up on you. It's saying You finally put everybody down Yeah, gracefully everybody crowds are at crowds around you. They're they're pying at you feeling your muscles They're throwing coins at you and it's truly a Miraculous moment for everybody. It's it's the best thing any of these people in this small town have ever seen in their entire lives

24:47Congratulations. Thank you everyone Book it. I believe you wanted to go next I think that isn't that the closer That seemed like the A couple is back. Oh, yes, we will be doing magic. Oh Great great. Yes, I will make Larry disappear Oh, I last year wait you know I thought we were doing a fun little trick like where the coin comes out of your butters of the why am I being vanished? Well, you know, you do have a lot of good stealth and slight of hand Larry So maybe it's something where Book it could create a distraction and you could find a way to slip out unnoticed or Actually change a plan. I have the ability to disguise self. So maybe I'd turn into another Larry Okay, great. I love the opposite of Larry disappearing double duplicating your face query

25:48Change change self. What how does that work disguise self? Disguise self you make yourself including clothing armor weapons and other belongings on your person look different You can't change your body type so you must adopt a form that has the same basic arrangement of limbs. So that's good It's for one hour. Oh no, I think I'm Larry for now one hour babe. It's fine sort of a role play To her clothes transform. Yeah, she can look exactly like yeah The next act will be a couple's act Hmm I am Going to understand Larry better by becoming Larry myself I The spell disguise self, but I will roll for performance correct. Yeah, I'm gonna call that everybody's riding real high on Duane's performance So I think they're pretty susceptible. I'm gonna call this a DC 13 to pull off the transformation in a way that is

26:51Exciting for the crowd Maybe so with a flourish you cast your spell and very slowly your Your features and limbs sort of tuck back inside your body and pop out one at a time sort of as Larry It's really disturbing to watch it obviously not very entertaining and body horror so Everybody's sort of recoils in horror as as sort of the hey unnerving speed Oh, I'm having yeah, I'm having it everyone Crisis Larry you're the one with some good performance and stealth and Thevery skills maybe you could save this act. Yes, no problem. People are turning people are turning on book it She's a freak get her out of here

27:53She's a witch She's a witch. She's a lover She's a child She's a center. She is the same the same She's like She does not feel ashamed Can I use some deception to become book it performatively? What's your performance skill like? So I have plus three four performance. Yeah, there you go great You can just tell me what you're trying to accomplish and I'll tell you what that DC would be a performance of Book it that's so convincing they think that her very soul has entered Larry's body Okay, I'll call that a DC 16 to convince everybody that you have swapped souls Honey, I'll handle this. I'm going to do a performance of you that's so convincing

28:55That everyone will be stunned I just rolled a seven So that's including the plus three you uh you grab a couple of uh items off the table shove them under your shirt To make sort of make shift breasts that's problematic grab this mom why would you start with the breast? Yeah You're a mom My my acting teacher always said start with the breasts. So that's what I do. It's uh, it's really not you learn I mean that to say nobody is buying it is an understatement It's also offensive to almost everyone in the bar. Oh I'm book it And we in love Oh

29:55Yeah, book it is like three quarters Larry now. She's she's Larry's height, but she's got bookets hair This is a horror movie on what is what is your performance skill? Plus one all right All right, so if you guys can both succeed on a DC 15 performance check I Am going to allow this to be so bad. It's funny and people will people will be in a If you can turn into a comedic act then I think you can really get the audience on your side I rolled a six a three plus three. Yeah, was I in the minor six nine started doesn't started That's You had serious you committed to the bit Dance

30:59I did not think I would say this but I'm beginning to miss the evil caves As well It's a pretty grim spectacle Finally People sort of stop booing you because it's getting to the point where you're you're dying so hard It's uncomfortable for everybody I enjoy prepared performances Bring back the orc make him lift something else All right book it in the Larry furtively sort of Revert back to their normal appearances. I do who don't I still have your your stubble still Next the only person hasn't performed is jiggly would you like to offer something? Yes, I would like to perform a feat of acrobatics. Oh Could you describe like the sort of layout around me of what what I could use for a flipping and tumbling routine here?

32:03Going directly at summer salt pizza. Yeah, you're really coming for it The town favorite Well, there is sort of a makeshift stage. It's kind of the area near the fireplace 8 by 12 foot kind of clearing there near the fireplace where you can perform and is are there long tables? Yep, yep, long tables All right, and then there's some stools kind of scattered throughout the space. It's pretty crowded though Yeah, if you wanted to do something on the tables you would have to be pretty nimble to avoid all the people and drinks Are you hoping what are you trying to do? I want to I want to try to do some like some tumbling like some flips on the long tables Sort of make a circuit of the bar. Yeah, yeah, and uh like drinking taking a drink of people's meat as I land Hey Perfect real October fest energy Oh, yeah, great. Um, all right. I'm gonna call that uh, well because of all the extra stuff like the drinking and stuff I'm gonna call that a DC 18 The crowd is pretty um

33:05Uh, we lost the ground up Well, we've seen highs and lows this evening now I shall As a final act perform traditional beneficarian Acrobatics first created by the forefather and foremother of our clan Benaflick and Jelou I heard Benaflick and Jelou had separated it They always tend to return And just like them you shall leave the stage and return to it after tumbling around the room right exactly And at the end if I am successful, I will show you my back tattoo We have three part performance here And All right, this is a DC 18. Yeah Oh It was on 19 and it's a one Sashes like I don't get to see the tattoo

34:07If he lands wrong, we'll get to see it Absolutely lands real hard on his face That's a critical failure, right? You get a break something You do have a you do have a lucky feet Oh my god, you're right Which may give advantage on an ability check I think I need it. Yep, if you want you can roll again and you get higher of the two All right, I'm going to use lucky feet and roll again for it cannot be worse And it's so jiggly sort of like started and the knees like oh not that one Always start on the other foot and 22 Oh So you you take a series of leaps and bounds You some result and dive and flip over the tables Somehow also managing to take sips of meat and bites of apples and stuff as you fly by It's very impressive you cartwheel across the bar

35:08swing across in the lampshades monkey barring it from Shandaleer to chandelier parkour off the wall dive and tumble across where the fireplaces and Do a flourish with your axe lodging it into the wooden floor as you land Everybody loses their fucking minds. So agile for a little man. Yes They're so excited. They almost forget when an awful performance book it in Larry Everybody's cheering and At the end of the night as you get back to your table you realize You guys have each made a pretty decent amount of money from donations just from people enjoying your performance Hell yeah, so Same season you had a pretty good performance you get two gold two Quarrel you make four gold This gold is bound for the Church of Rotorissa Sunnitron Yeah, a type and Dwayne nine gold for your incredible feet of strength Wow And jiggly four gold from all of your tumbling really nice job

36:11You skipped over book Look at it Larry's double act book and Larry you have roughly the same amount of money in your pocket at the end of it but I should pull over for a minute to thank once again our discord members supporters of the show who have Suggested many of the place names and character names on the show especially tonight a lot of very funny names tonight Thank you so much for these I'm sorry to have shown up some assault Peterson. Yes, I was some result Peterson I mean if you can believe that that is not my creation. What? Some of self-eaterson is from court jester on discord. Hmm. Thanks court jester Very fun the six of you returned to your seats Reeling with all the positive vibes and the adoration you guys received from these townsfolk and travelers It's very exciting and a little little boy sort of messy hair little kid comes up to Dwayne and asks if he can look at your grade acts I hand it right over to him Oh, he could barely hold it but he's so excited

37:11Sort of falls over He can sort of hold up just the handle the blade is like lying on the ground And he looks at you like meeting a superhero. He's like so excited to talk to you and he says to you mr Mr. Can you help me only you're strong enough to help me Okay You're the only one who can slay the dragon Is that a metaphorical dragon? I'm only seven years old. What would that metaphor mean in my case? Hmm it could be like a nightmare type thing because you're little I wouldn't assume it's a drug type thing No daddy issues could be oh yeah, thank you Larry No, we're not I'm not asking you to chase a dragon. I'm asking you to fight and kill the dragon The dragon is real it lives in the cave's past slurry term swamp I'm sorry where slurry churn swamp. It's right over to the west of here right by the base of the mountains There's a huge red and golden dragon who comes out of the caves every couple days And I see him every time because I live in the little shack next to the marsh

38:16Wow, and you think I could defeat this dragon you could if you wanted to Nobody believes me because nobody's ever seen it but me oh Well, that is a bit of a wrinkle isn't it. Let me just have a quick aside here with my party I don't really go anywhere without them am I co-dependent? Okay Gather up everybody This we lad that is you want to get my name or oh? Sure my name is Brennan we Mulligan. I'm just a little boy Oh I regret that I hadn't asked sooner I guess Just a reminder I didn't name myself my name is suggested by my mother Yeah Yeah, do you chose it if it was suggested? No, no my parents suggested My daddies that was biking Viking That's all right you're not a part of this aside Brennan we Mulligan if you don't mind

39:24The we lad as I was saying claims there is a dragon He has suggested that we kill it has it managed or killed it hurt the kid. Why does he want it dead? Why is this kid hate this drag? Okay Brennan we Mulligan you Yes, I prefer you to use my full name every time you dress me. Yep. I must Could you join the circle? It's no longer an aside at this point now Could you tell me why I need to kill this dragon? Yes, because you're hero because you're hero and dragons Dragons are are the rays on debt of a hero like yourself You you lifted half this pup up on a broomstick Only Brennan we Mulligan would get away with saying raise on debt at age seven You lost to me. I'm a child myself upstairs You know some dragons are noble what? For instance a gold dragon is a creature with good intentions that seeks not to hurt but to aid what about a red dragon?

40:30Oh, that's a bad kind those are bad. Well, this is a red and gold dragon. Didn't you just hear what I was telling? End gold red and gold Just good and bad is it like you see it and you think it's red but someone else looks at it It's either as gold and that's like a red and gold dragon because it's just like a debate It could be a blue and black dragon. That's true. I actually I mean I've only ever seen it sort of at like sunset There's a swamp called the slurry churn swamp and where the swamp meets the mountains. There's a cave Not like a multi-layered series of caves. I wouldn't suggest that you do anything like that It's just a cave where a dragon would live and every few days the dragon Slowly comes out of the swamp and takes the sky circles the the mountain top and returns to his cave having harmed no one I mean not yet not that I know of I haven't been brave enough to go close But what if it gets close to the stumbles bluffs? What if it comes and burns down the hungry ors? What if it eats my dog? I guess then then I would feel yeah

41:32We're sort of wrong or early borrowing trouble from tomorrow. Yeah That's cool anxiety That's the real monster. I don't know why but I feel suspicious of this kid can we roll to see whether we can detect deception? Because I feel like he's setting us up I think it would be a perception check. Okay. Yeah, I think this actually might be an insight check Oh inside I have a plus four to insight so I I'm willing to I'm willing to give it a shot here. Yeah go for it plus 40 insight Yeah, yeah, Quarrel is gonna give him the quarry of squint No, this boy is on the level I rolled a six I see oh Actually, wait, I have the ring of truth. I have I have advantage on checks to determine whether someone's lying That's right you received it from from the town's folk marginally better. I have a 13

42:35Okay, oh, look at roll the 20 you roll the 20 yeah The the boy looks at you and you sort of see like nothing behind his eyes at all He seems to be pleading with you, but there's almost no conviction behind it. Hmm He seems to be sort of like reciting from a script or something Hmm, do not know if I trust this boy nothing behind the eyes, huh He knows very little of this dragon. Are we being sent up a river without a danciergo? No, it's in the swamp. It's in the marsh feels like a trap Really if you've been there tell us what it looks like what's a swamp It's got grasses and marshes and you know bugs and stuff and a and a bread and gold dragon Is anyone have really good persuasion to try to convince this kid to fess up to who told him to say this? I have Five yeah, oh yeah, okay. Yeah, do it do it classic sams. Hey pal. Yeah lean in sams

43:35All right good barred bad thief. Oh, yeah, I roll the 17, but I have it. It's a 22. Oh my god So what do you what do you say to this kid? Hey buddy? What what hey Part Listen, why don't you just tell us what's really going on here? Really youth minister energy from samsies. Hey, you know who else was a red and gold dragon who lived in a swamp Well excited to hear the end of this Yeah, what's really going on here pal? What's really eating? Yeah, he kind of looks around it you guys and I don't I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have to nobody I'm just doing I'm just I'm just having fun. I'm just hanging out of the hungry horse like everybody else You're a child and a tavern Yeah, wait a second. Why is a child hanging out at a bar? Yeah, but where people get lifted in great couple performances happen I'm gonna be here this even adults shouldn't have seen the blasphemy that Larry and book it have brought

44:40Yeah, you're still here after we scared the shit out of everybody No way Ha Does bigger belief I'm just trying to I'm just trying to get some help with the problem, you know, I'm just trying to I Oh, he's sweating Well, is he wearing a wig? Listen, a wig I shall talk into his head is he pretending to be a seven-year-old but he's actually out Ow, no, ow, it seems secure. Yeah, yeah He's pulling my hair Book it turn into me again that'll get him to tell you I'm just working for Frank and Annie. I'm not trying to They told Danny they just told Frank lemon grass and Andy low oak leaves They just told me to come and talk to you for like five minutes to distract you. That's all I was trying to Oak leaves wait five minutes to distract us Yeah, perhaps You

45:41Distract us from what what would they be doing during this action? What were they hoping to keep us from who quarry? Have you the orb still? Of course do I have the orb so same as you take your arm from around Brenn we mulligan you guys all kind of quickly check your belongings and You find that all of your purses are missing The gold that you just got that you've not put in your purses yet you still have but all of the gold that you had When you entered the tavern has been taken as well as a couple of key items Including the orb in your face kid. We didn't earn any gold in our act But I think the orb is probably the more important thing This sucks Larry I must agree This sucks finally we agree I do have locate object Hmm Describe a name and object that's familiar to you can sense the direction of the objects location if it's within

46:44Thousand feet from you Yeah, book it all right and I cast that spell yeah cast it and now you again I sure the Larry stuff's worn off like maybe stuff under your clothes. We haven't we could check out real quick Like the only stuff What advantage would that be to you Larry? I don't know you ever want to look at yourself from the outside Hmm Smooch yourself a couple times just to see what that would be close your eyes will kick an open and be like that's what people think of Larry All right, I cast it. I think You do indeed sense the presence of the orb and it is receding from your location very quickly to the north west Okay, we've got to find that orb guys. We've got to go now get you up We've been robbed by children. No, there adults. I'm just I'm the only child. I don't actually have a whole lot to do with it Oh, no, I even your hero I was anything you say was that the truth? Oh Where are you just lying? Well, I chose to talk to you because you seem the most dim-witted

47:48But also Um, do I would like to roll for how far the child soars when he kicks it? Yes, good good Child, listen, it wasn't personal. It's just that you were the easiest to distract and you were the biggest so you couldn't fight the people stealing All right, so I don't think you need to roll to kick him. Uh, that's an easy time. I want to know the distance I'm gonna say roll a d20 for the number of yards he flies I mean, he just lifted up like 14 people in the bar. It's very strong. Oh Wow Okay, so you kicked this child. He sales he sales through the window of the bar Out under the street with a tiny little pathetic scream

48:48And uh, okay, everybody in the bar stops and turns towards you Because up until that point it's been kind of loud and nobody's really paying attention to what's going on But everything kind of grinds to a halt and everybody looks at you and the bartender Tom Firkens said did you just Did you just kick Brennan we Mulligan Oh, what every one of you huh He doesn't have he's an orphan He's he's a poor kid. He doesn't know what he better. He's just trying to make a little money You kicked him through the window Yes, well what did point problem did you have with with Brennan? I mean look I I don't want these people to turn against you I know he can he kind of causes some trouble around here. What's going on He has distracted us with tales of dragons while all of our persons have been turned on From Annie Oakleaves and Frank something Frank lemon grass Yes, I know them well Their masters of disguise. I wouldn't have allowed them in here if I noticed them

49:51You know them where are they listen travelers listen This is an upstanding establishment. I won't tolerate any criminals or thieves in my place You know listen frank at any or nothing to trifle with The members of the rakeish violets. Have you ever heard of them? No, I don't know now Larry actually does know about these guys there competing thieves guild to The thieves guild that Larry was involved in the grabby gang Which was the name of your thieves guild the grabby gang that's it was us we are the grabby ones Yikes Grab nab and now Larry you certainly know what Europe against Frank and Annie are Serious criminals thieves are nasty guys. I don't know why anyone keeps them around you've got to go right now follow them find them Bring them back here and I'll give you a rich reward More stage time we'd like I'd love a little more stage time honestly Yeah, we can tweak a little bit of our action. I mean sure everybody gets a chance We've got to get our or back you guys so bonus if we get a reward whatever it might be right

50:54It's stage time and the or in that order Don't you have a little song you always sing about that orb orb Or be seen you in all the orb familiar places Well, I don't know and I think the one to get sang earlier about the ferryman was probably a stronger Seven feet tall and hairy as a bear look over there look over there. It's there And The whole bar the whole bar joins it. Yeah, you can hear Britain we Mulligan sort of whimpering outside on the street We got him back And book it you notice with your keen object sense that you no longer sense the orb which means it's more than a thousand feet away Hmm Well, you know what's direction it went. That's right. Let's go guys Saddle up your poodles everyone So the six of you burst out of the tavern trample over

51:59Uh last known location of the orb and into the night right into the night brunch. Yes Towards the thieves to see where they've gone and we're gonna have to save the confrontation with them for our next adventure You're on mission to do six. Thanks guys great job Taking that tavern and turning it on his head. That was a fun one Maximumfund.org comedy and culture artist-owned audience supported