Kitchen Table Talk: Episode 34

Keep Building Utopia

This comes from our series of videos from earlier this year called “Surviving Anti-LGBTQ Politics”. The 10-part series hits on a variety of strategies to weather the storm we find ourselves in. The final installment after talking about how to get through all the doom was called “Keep Building Utopia”. And to expand on the notion, let me take us back right now to Episode 10 and let my 10-month younger self do the talking..........

“During the darkest days of the AIDS crisis, we buried our friends in the morning, we protested in the afternoon, and we danced all night. The dance kept us in the fight because it was the dance we were fighting for. It didn’t look like we were going to win then and we did. It doesn’t feel like we’re going to win now but we could. Keep fighting, keep dancing. -Dan Savage

Keep Moving Forward

For many of us there has always been a fight. For most of us there will be a fight ahead. We must have something worth fighting for, a win in our days worth the blood, sweat and tears. In the fight we must never forget to keep building our lives as we have always wanted them to be. We must not lose ourselves in the fight.

Continue reaching for your dreams, knowing these trying times will cement them deep in your foundations of life. Take new opportunities to educate yourself, learn new skills, try new things – build your better self. Come out on the other side of these times with a stronger passion, skill set, purpose and direction.

Keep building community. Build new alliances and friendships with the people we meet in the battles, share your passions and your energies with them. Join in the celebrations, the fights, and the communion of your brothers and sisters. Welcome new friends into these circles and give them the support they need too. We all need each other now more than ever.

Never stop creating beauty and celebrating our culture. We are beautiful people who express our color and vibrancy in ways many on this earth wish they could. It’s our superpower, and the one many of those who oppose us are most afraid of. Art, culture, color and celebration of life is why we are who we are. Full speed ahead.

Be who you are without shame or apology. Our beauty and our capacity to love is the thing that makes us special. We need to be visible, vibrant, colorful and joyous. Our example of a good life is the one we must never hide, edit down, discount or put in the closet. Be seen, be heard, you are good.

We deserve our place on this earth and in the fabric of society. We are worthy of equality, love, respect, freedom, and our place at the table of life. In this fight, keep your eyes on the main goal of your life and never top building toward your utopia.

You can catch the entire series on the Surviving Anti-LGBTQ Politics playlist found on our GrowingOlderGay YouTubeChannel which is linked in the information section as well as on screen at the end of this video.

Eagle Cathedral City – eaglebarcc.com

One of the long beloved homes of the LGBTQ leather community in the Palm Springs area had been the iconic Barracks Bar in Cathedral City. Opening in 1992, it survived some 34 years and served as the most favored gay night spot and gathering place in the region until it closed suddenly in August of 2024 under a number of challenges.

While Dicks On Arenas still remains as a leather bar as well as the popular Tool Shed in Palm Springs, the community suddenly found themselves with a huge hole in their night life. Locals Phillip and Jeremy Nalwalker missed it so much, they wanted to bring it back.

With a groundswell of enthusiasm from the local community, the couple invested their life savings in addition to over $700,000 in crowdfunding to secure and transform the old Barracks location into a world-class gay space – bigger, better and more encompassing than before.

Starting with a complete down to the studs remodel and expansion, it will become the Eagle Cathedral City, pay homage to the other 30+ Eagle leather bars in the world. In my visit to the Eagle Bar open house over Leather Pride weekend, I saw that the old Barracks Bar interior and exterior has been stripped bare and ready to move onto the construction phase of a completely re-imagined space.

An expanded patio area, around twice the size of the old one with an additional 800 square feet. Well shaded, there will be an additional outdoor bar for faster service on busy nights. A bank of lockers and bench will be provided for a wardrobe changes - woof. There are also going to be cooling misters and heating elements both to knock the edges off of weather extremes

Inside, a larger and more navigable dance space will feature modern state-of-the-art lighting, and an incredible new sound system that promises to make the Eagle the areas premier dance club and a favorite for DJs. Additional bathroom space is being added with some 14 stalls and 6 urinals.

While the building and facilities will be entirely new from top to bottom, a new energy and slate of fresh events are planned Phillip and Jeremy are keeping what they have missed. The built-in Rough Trade Gear store will be back, the pool table will have it’s place, and yes the famous Sunday beer bust will return.

In my conversation with Phillip and Jeremy at the open house, it was stated they plan to open in February of 2026 in conjunction with the International Bear Convergence weekend. You can learn more at their website eaglebarcc.com and even buy gear with their new bar logo on it.

Palm Springs LGBTQ Monument

Having spoken about the new LGBTQ monument in downtown Palm Springs in our last episode I just had to go see it for myself in person when my husband and I were in town for Palm Springs Leather Pride weekend.

Seeing it in the flesh was an amazing experience because it’s huge and imposing. At 8 feet tall and 14-feed wide, it’s layout and shapes drawing you into it. No matter which direction you approach the colorful steel structure from, it looks different. Circumnavigating it brings new perspectives that just seem endless. You can even get to the center of it and look through.

Just unveiled last month the $500,000 sculpture is located in Frances Stevens Park at the corner of Alejo and Indian Canyon Drive just on the north side of downtown. Designed by renowned artist Jim Isermann, it features the expanded colors of the Philadelphia rainbow flag. It’s a must see when you visit Palm Springs

Palm Springs Leather Contest

This year’s annual Palm Springs Leather Pride event was one for the books in terms of attendance, new event features, and in the poignant unfolding of the contest itself. The event held at the Hotel Zoso in downtown hosted four days of leather folk in fabulous Palm Springs weather perfect for many of the outdoor events both onsite and off.

And speaking of those, there were two clothing optional pool parties at Cathedral City Boys Club (CCBC) and an indoor play party in the hotel basement called Going Deep. Having attended both, I can tell you myself and my husband came home tired and sore in all the right places.

The CCBC event was packed with hundreds of men both in and around the pool as well as in all of the surrounding play spots. At the hotel play party, over 500 men packed the basement with DJ music, lots of mazes, play furnishings, and cleaning supplies to make it one of the best organized mass orgies I think I have ever seen. Woof, woof, woof.

The contest itself was the center of the action with last year’s Mr Palm Springs Leather title holder Rene Hebert handing his sash off to this year’s contest winner Honey Davenport. Honey came into the contest this year with the title of Mr Dicks Leather. He was one of my top picks for winner before the contest and came out on top well deserved. Congratulations Honey, it was a great performance and I look forward to seeing what you bring to the community.

Making the evening an emotional space too was Rene Hebert’s step down speech. First of all, if you are unaware, he is currently the reigning International Mr. Leather, having won that contest last spring in addition to his Mr. Palm Springs Leather title. He is a native of Canada, but has currently lived in Palm Springs to be close to his leather family Daddy Doc Duhon, James Moore, or partner James Dunagan.

Bringing the evening to tears was his announcement that he will be leaving the U.S. before Christmas because his visa renewal was denied. While I can’t run his entire speech here, I will let him share some of what he said.

I had a hard time with this obviously. It’s a perfect storm of where we are at as a country right now, that someone who has contributed so much to his community, who is an upstanding representative of his craft, and a well educated professional is kicked out for no apparent reason. In a show of solidarity, his leather family based in Palm Springs has also announced they plan to follow Rene to Canada to continue their journey together.

We as a community need to continue supporting our tribes, and continue building our utopia. They all represent a great example of the keep moving forward mindset. I love you guys.

Coming Up Personal Changes

In the continuing to move forward vein, my day job employer announced last month that our team would be transitioning from working at the office to a work-at-home model. For me this is a double sided coin because I have worked from home before for a good length of time and am used to what it means.

The challenge is that because of work in the health care field, there are strict requirements for my work-at-home space. It has to be secure and private, separated from other people in the household. That means for my husband and I, a move to a larger home that can provide a separate workspace.

The good news here is that in the coming month, I will be coming to you from a new studio space / dining table scenario. This will provide hopefully for better quality both for our studio recorded content and whatever else I present to you. There might be a weekend where there is no podcast while the move takes place, but I will keep you informed.

Social Media & YouTube

Please follow us on all of our social media channels, @growingoldergay the 4-major food groups including Facebook, Instagram, Threads and BlueSky. Also get a refresher course on how to survive the national disaster we are all living through right now with the full playlist of Surviving Anti-LGBTQ Politics.

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