King Charles Roasts US Congress, Smooths Ties

0:00On April 29, King Charles dropped a history-making speech to the U.S. Congress this week during the first British State visit here since 2007. The 77-year-old monarch mixed serious talk on defending NATO and supporting Ukraine with his signature dry wit, turning the house chamber into a laugh fest that lasted 20 minutes. He kicked things off-cording Oscar Wilde on shared language differences, then roasted Britain's 1814 Torching of the White House as a G-Teen Access as a Stalker, botched a real estate flip. Charles called America's Independence 250 years ago just the other day back home and toasted the state dinner as a step up from the Boston Tea Party. Laughter echoed everywhere, with lawmakers from both sides cracking up hardest at jabs like daring to say without Britain, Americans might be speaking. French, instead of German. King President Trump was beaming, later toasting Charles for getting Democrats to stand, something he joked he'd never pulled off.

1:00Trump got extra props when Charles gifted him the original bell from the World War 2 submarine, HMS Trump, the only royal Navy ship with that name. The king kept it with a pun, if you need us. Just give us a ring, symbolizing shared history and a bright future ahead. This royal rose smooth, tense Anglo-U.S. ties royally, proving Charles could kill on stage if the crown ever slips, leaving Washington buzzing about, that unyielding humor and resolve.