Keke Palmer Story

0:00Hey, this is Strawberry Baby. How y'all doing out there today? I hope everybody is doing well. If you're not doing well, let's find a way to get well, look well, and be well. Right now, we're going to hear the story about Keke Palmer. I knew that my parents had given up so much for me to be in this position that whenever I got an opportunity to chance, I don't know what it was, but I just broke through any fear and anxiety and knew I had to kill it. It's definitely a hard transition going from a child entertainer to being an adult entertainer. Not to like XXX one, you know what I'm saying? Like, just being cruel. It's so funny because I really was new in this body. This is like post baby body. You were there, you were there. It was good, you know, it was gonna power glass down. Okay, just grab it. Baby, this is Keke Palmer.

1:01I looked good. What I remember about grown up in Robbins is, you know, I was around a very rich community of black people, not like rich, rich, but like, you know, culture rich. So, my mom and my dad, Sharon and Larry, they're both from Illinois. My dad grew up in Cougarini, Green, and my mom grew up in Robbins, where we ended up moving back to once they got married. Both of my parents were, actors, you know, they actually met at a debate tournament in New Orleans. They ended up falling in love in Chicago, and they did Chicago Theater, Black Ensemble Theater. Shout out Jack Taylor, who still runs the Black Ensemble Theater. And so they would do that up until they had my sister and me and kind of, you know,

2:05a bit of a dream deferred type of thing. But they did it for a little while professionally. For seven years, I was a baby. I have an older sister. She's like four years older than me. In the summer, it was crazy because, even though we didn't have a lot of my parents were always hopes. So, my dad was always doing, like, fish fries. We were always having parties, cook gouts. I actually remember I was having a lot of fun at the parties together. And my mom and dad decided to have another party, and they were like, I don't know, I don't know. We were always having parties, cook gouts. I actually remember I was having a lot of fun at the parties together. And my mom and dad decided to have another kid and it ended up being twins. So, I got upstage, not by just one little sibling but two. So, I was doing a middle child thing, making sure that I was over a geezer, so I could hold on to any attention I could have. My mom was my first acting coach. I didn't know that she was coaching me or teaching me to trade. It just felt like bonding time with my parents. She taught me how to read a script, how to find emotion in the line, how to dig for emotion and how to emote on screen,

3:06how not to be afraid, how to own a room. She and I would even come up with skits in order to get me seen in the world. I also did an audition for American Juniors. American Juniors was like American Idol's version of children, you know, finding talent. And then my parents heard about it and they drove me down to, I think we were in Shomburg Illinois and that was very far from us. I don't remember getting up early, 5 a.m. in the car. They had me sing Michael Jackson, you know, and my mom told me she said, in the end, when you do your last note, throw your hat off. You know, take your hat off your head and throw it off to the crowd. And I was onstage and I almost didn't get my hat off, but I still fuddle with it and I took it off and I threw it and I got my golden ticket. They were like, you go on to California. And we were like, wow, you know, because we had why we become fans of American Idol. And so it was very exciting, like, I got my golden ticket. I get to go to California. My mom heard about the auditions for barbershop 2, right?

4:08And she called the cast director and make a long story short. She doesn't allow me to audition because she's like, Quillantipus coming in real quick in town. We can't have any newcomers, your daughters never been on the set before. I'm sorry, maybe she can get it far. That's a, you know, extra playing double dutch or something like that. And so my mom said, well, that's an opportunity. So, you know, we get outside. I called up my neighbor, Diera. She started teaching me how to double dutch. I'm learning how to double dutch. And then my mom said, okay, we'll send them this tape, but you double dutch it. But then do the lines anyway. You know what I'm saying? Do the lines so that they can just see and they can just have it. And we'll just send tape in and see what happens. So we didn't hear anything for, like, maybe like a few weeks. It couldn't have even been a month. And then one day we get a car. She said, we still haven't found this girl. But I saw the tape that your daughter did. And I like it to come in and audition. And it'll be in front of Ice Cube. So make sure she's prepared. And I was like, wall, you know, this is huge. This is crazy. And my mom telling me, she was like, you know, you need them to know that you're not nervous.

5:08Because they're afraid that you're not going to be able to hold your own next to Ice Cube and clean my tape. And so she said, you know, do the lines and we do the lines before you go. You ask them if you could sing for them. I don't know why, man. I think she, my mom would say that she felt like if they saw that I was confident enough to apply myself in a moment, you know, to kind of like, she always says, like, carpet, dim, then they would know that I had what it takes. And so I went in there and I did the audition. I did my lines and everything. And then in the end, I'm like, hey, can I sing for y'all? And they were like, sure. Why not? And so I just sang for them, you know what I mean? And then they were like, they're very much. You know, they smiled. I was like, thank you, left. Next thing you know, I get the movie. I played like a small part playing Queen of Teeth as these. I had like, maybe four lines. And I remember being on set. And I remember seeing Michael Inley. I know he was fine, even in mine. He said, damn, Michael, really is fine. And I went back to being a little kid. And then I remember thinking, wow, this is Ice Cube.

6:09I love Sexy Teen Attainer. I grew up watching the Steve Harvey show. So I was like, steady. It was also great to work with Colantipa, because this is when she really became kind of like a figure in my life of inspiration, of like a North Star, for everything that she had accomplished. And she was so kind to me. My mom, she asked me like, oh, Kiki, you know how was it? Did the director say anything to you? I was like, no, you didn't say nothing. He was just like, you know, I did good. And then the next day, I started shooting. And he started saying a lot of stuff to me. And I'm like, oh, man, does this mean I'm not doing good? Now, in actuality, the first day, they weren't on me, right? So it didn't matter. But now they were on me. They're doing different angles. They want a different taste. I didn't understand that. And I remember having a panic attack. I had an anxiety attack on set. I ran off and cried in the back. And then Kevin Sullivan came out. And he was like, you know, are you okay? And it was this whole big thing. And I remember feeling really embarrassed. But I think it was important for me. It was an important lesson of what it means

7:09to be on set. But it was also an important lesson of what. That I couldn't really be a kid on set. My mom talked to George Tillman with the producer. And she talked to George. And George was like, yo, you know, I think that she's good. You should probably take her to California. And my mom was like, take her to California. And he was like, yeah, you know, it's pilot season. It was pilot season. She said, you know, she's for a TV show. But that girl, the camera loves her. Do you see this? And so my mom went to my dad. And she was like, is it crazy if we go to California? You know, like this guy says that she really has talent. And my dad said, yeah, at this time, my mom was 33, 32. My dad was about 35, 36. They were really young. And my dad had been working at this polyurethane company. You know, he was a factory worker for many years. And then he started kind of working his way up to sales and finally let him be in the office. And he said, well, I'll take my pension out. I'll quit this job. You know, I'll talk to him and see if anything goes wrong.

8:09They'll take me back. But let's do it. Let's go to California. And I remember we had a Dodge caravan. And we packed up four days and three nights. Our church held like a little prevent for us. And they gave us money. My aunties, they came by. They gave us some money. I mean, we have probably like, I mean, $3,500 maybe at most. And we drove four days to California. We only made one stop in New Mexico. I remember. And then we got there and that was the beginning. We were going from hotel to hotel. Honestly, motel to motel. We first moved to California. And I think it was about like maybe a week that I was there. We did, you know, they had me and everything. They did dance lessons, singing lessons, you know, group situations. They just kind of put me through a whole system of things. And my mom said that that's also when she saw that I had what it takes because she could see that I wasn't getting stressed out. And I'll be honest, I don't think it was that I wasn't stressed out. I just, I knew that I wanted to show up and make my parents proud.

9:14I think that's always been a big guiding force for me. You know, growing up, watching my hearing about my parents love story through the arts, watching my mother work to, you know, be so incredibly talented and working to make her music happen. But never really getting that moment or the opportunity, you know, seeing life, how life can, you know, try to tell who you are, even when you have bigger dreams than where you're from. And so when I started making that traction and people started seeing me, I felt like they were seeing them. And so I knew that I wanted to show up and see how far we could take you. There was this thing, this real drive that I've always had to know that I had to be undeniable. And everything that I did, I knew that my parents had given up so much for me to be in this position, that whatever I got an opportunity and a chance, you know, I don't know what it was, but I just broke through any fear and anxiety and knew I had to kill it. Sponsored by Huggie. The feeling of being was crazy, the whole experience.

10:16I will never forget my mom running into the bone, crying, telling us, can you got to do this for him? Can he got to do this movie? We're like, what's the movie? I can't let it be. We're like, is this an animation? What is, you know, the motion for the title was just too much. We were like, what is this? We got to sit down and we all got to read this as a family. We got to be reading a history as a family. So we all read it and we were like, man, this is a really dope story. This is a really cool thing. And I remember going into audition rooms and auditioned because the movie was about six or seven times. And there were a lot of people who were up against it. I mean, the rooms were packed. I don't ever forget we sit in a room. This is probably the first audition that I had. And my mom is sitting there. She keeps staring at this lady and I'm thinking myself, why don't you keep staring at this lady like this? My mom is up to, she finds her business. She keeps staring at this lady and then she's like, I'm sorry. She's looking at you. But you look so much like Tina Marie. She said, I am Tina Marie.

11:16First of all, I didn't know who Tina Marie was as a kid. But my mom started flipping out. She was like, I love you. Oh my gosh. She said, now I'm like, mom, I've never seen my mom act like this before about anything in life. She is just going up about this woman and her daughter, Tina Marie's daughter, Alia, was auditioning for a killing to be as well. So it was just a crazy experience. You know, we did it multiple times. And I was really happy that I got to be that girl and carry the legacy of what that movie has meant. For those of y'all who may not know Tina Marie, she has the song where she, I'm a token spent with baby, with scrapes. Hey, Betty can sing down. The early chemistry test for a killing to be, I was 11 years old and I was doing the chemistry test with Angela Bassett and Lawrence Fishburn. I knew very well who Angela Bassett and Lawrence Fishburn was. You know, I definitely grew up in one of them houses where they're like, it's too young to watch that, but I was watching it anyway. So I definitely knew, oh, no, Bush.

12:16I love what's love I have to do with it. I watched it all the time as a kid. I mean, obviously it's in the same intense movie, but it was a great film, as we all know. Also, I love the Matrix. You know, I see Porphyis, you know, who don't love Lawrence Fishburn and the Matrix. Big fans of it. And even as a kid, my dad had me watch Cornbread Girl with me. So I knew that Lawrence Fishburn also had been a child actor. Also, I love vampire Brooklyn. Angela Bassett. You hear that? You hear that? You hear that? I love that when we're growing up. So yeah, when I got the chance to work with them, I was definitely starstruck and I was professional, except for one day on a set that was killing the beat. Oh my gosh, Lawrence Fishburn had to cry in this scene. And it made me laugh. I mean, just think about it. I was 12 years old. And I mean, he's in his 40s at that time. He's like, and we're going to go to the national spelling beat. Hey, you're going to.

13:16And I just started the first day of laughing. And when I tell you that he got so mad at me, and it's funny because this is kind of like an echoing scenario from one idea of barbershop, too, where it's like, sometimes as a kid, you're just a kid. But I had to grow up so fast in some of these situations because when I was on set, I wasn't a kid. I was a professional actor, you know? It's like that kid thing. It wasn't a thing anymore. It's like, you got to be a professional performer. And he lived in to me. This is not what actors do. This is not professional. Y'all need it. And I was just like, I started crying. And then my mom came out and she said, I don't give a lot of this. Who the hell is thinking in? I don't want this. My mom was going off. She was mad. She was trying to call down the set. And then ultimately, I come down. I'm like, mom, it's okay. I'm going to do it. And maybe he's right. You know, I want to be professional. I want to get this done. And even though it was a crazy situation, I really do, I mean, it's a part of the business. These were things that I had to learn very early on

14:17if I wanted to make it. I was laughing because Lauren Spishburn was a ugly cryer. I love you, Lauren, still to this day. But that was pretty funny. I got my first record deal when I was 12 with Atlantic Records. It was right after I did the kill and the beat. And I ended up working with Jimmy Jim and Terry Lewis and doing like a little bit of a, you know, kind of like a feature on this record they did for the movie with Deborah Cox. And after that, you know, a lot of people wanted to meet with me because everybody loved Akila and they were like, oh, she could sing too. And you know, the industry hops on everything so fast once they hear about it. They all want a piece. And I got my record deal with Atlantic Records. They got to put me in with a lot of amazing people. I never forget. I was in a studio with Babyface. First of all, such a kind man, an amazing man. And the fact that, you know, usually a lot of times we record a producer at that scale. You don't really get to have one on one time with him. But he actually spent one on one time with me building these records around me. And getting to know me, I remember telling him the first few days that we worked together

15:17how much of a fan I was a brandy. And like, she's just so awesome to me. Obviously, he did sit in the bedroom. And he did a ton of amazing records with her. I just told him I really loved her. And she was like always somebody that inspired me. And the last day that we ended up being in the studio together, he's like, I have somebody that wants to meet you. And I'm 12 years old and here comes Brandy. And I'm speechless. And I'll never get this moment because it was just so meta because I got my first journal from none other than most of the eats of the Moisha. And I'll never forget. She said, I want you to have this journal. Because you're about to go on a crazy journey in your life. I already know. She said, you got to have this so you can remember. And you can talk. And you can say all the things that you can't say to anybody. Because you're going to need that. And she wrote, I am who I am. Because you are who you are. And I wrote into that journal to the head. No more pages. And I still have it with me to this day. Even on an anti-depressant third.

16:19It's early as 11 and 12. I started having a lot of acne. And I remember you got so bad even that I was at an award show. And Tyler Perry pulled my mom to the side. And he said, if you guys ever need any help, you know, like she needs to see a dermatologist. Let me know. I'll set it up. And obviously, he made no harm. And my mom didn't take it as harm. That's just really the kind of person that Tyler is. And you know, especially when you don't have access. Like, I don't even think I knew what a dermatologist was at that time. That somebody could specifically help me with my skin. And that's when I stumbled upon PCOS. And I found out that my hormone levels were out of whack. And that, you know, this was a real physical issue. It was just, you know, what I'm putting on my face or somebody being able to give me a facial. It was actually something visibly happening with me. And that was like the beginning of me really understanding how to heal myself through medication, through, like, the food I ate and just, like, being able to know what was at the core. If you were living with HIV, do...

17:21My parents told me that I'd become a millionaire when I was in a brown, like, yeah, 12 years old or so I mean, a business manager. My mom was a crazy researcher. And she was like, every time a child actor, they always have problems with their parents is because there was money involved. There was money issues. So she said, I'm never going to just be the only person that's involved with your money. You need to know what a business manager is. You need to know your attorney. You need to feel, you know, autonomous in your business. Even though I was a kid, she was trying to make those early lessons. Teach me that stuff. And so I don't know how much I felt that I was a millionaire per se. But I just knew our life was getting better. By the time that I was 12, we were able to get us a house and settle down out to Deena, California. And I was just happy that we were, like, stable. And, you know, we didn't have to keep moving around. And, you know, we finally got rid of them roaches, you know. The roaches was following. We thought we was going to leave in Chicago. They followed us to do already, too. We thought they was going to be gone and they followed us to Inglewood.

18:22By the time we got to El Dino, we finally had no more road tooltales. It was a blessing. I didn't jump in when I was 12. And that was so much fun. I remember we were in Toronto. It was the first time that I had been to, like, that part of Canada. I think before then, I just went right outside of Detroit, you know what I mean? And I remember we were on sets. And it was the first time in a long time that I think it was always, like, loads between me being around kids my age outside of my siblings. Because I was homeschool. I started getting homeschooled. I remember just having so much fun on the set with all the girls and double dutch in and Corbin. And then also I remember having my first kids with Corbin on there. I was so embarrassed and so, you know, crazy. But yeah, Corbin blew his my first kids. At the time of me growing up, and it probably still the same way, you know, working with Disney and Nickelodeon was like, you blew a blood end of crap. It really didn't do it like that. But my mom kind of found like a cheat code, right? Where she just made sure that I was never in a full deal

19:25with either of them. That didn't happen up until I did my own television show True Jackson BP on Nickelodeon. But even before then, I mean, I was always bouncing back and forth between both of them. And I think that was something that I still maintain today. It's just like my sovereignty in my career as an entrepreneur. It's like I like to have a lot of collaborators. And, you know, never close a door that doesn't have to be closed. It's definitely a hard transition going from a child entertainer to being an adult entertainer. Not to like XXX, you know what I'm saying? Like, just being grown. My career, the first, maybe like six to ten years of my career were like so strong. I came and swinging. People was like, what's going on? I did a killing of B. But do you spend reunion? I have my own show. And then I became an adult. Like my show ended around 17. You know, I turned 18. And I did joyful noise. And I did a couple things here and there. But I was at that transitional period where I was either too young to play certain roles

20:27or too old to play other worlds. And so it was really a moment where I had to ask myself if I was going to stick with my career. Well, if I was going to go the route that some of my peers went. A lot of them went to college. You know, I remember when Dylan and Cole went to NYU. And I thought, man, should I be doing that? You know, should I take this break? But something to me said, no, that's not my path. This is my path. And I just stayed in it. And I found my creative voice through digital media. At this time, Instagram was just starting up. You know, we had Vine and things like that. And I started working on a lot of different creators. When he was around at the time, who I did, probably love with. He was like, you're really good. You know what I'm saying? Like, we could do sketches and stuff. You know what I mean? And he's like, let me take you to the Vine House. So he took me to meet Day Storm and King Batch. And King Batch became a really good friend of mine. And King Batch started showing me how to do my own sketches online and find my comedic voice. And from that moment on, I started to really focus on bringing

21:30what I knew from my traditional past entertainment to the digital space. And I never forget I ended up getting contacted by Brian Robbins and Paula Kaplan, who I knew from, you know, Nickelodeon, Paula Kaplan, who gave me my TV show True Jackson EP, Brian Robbins. He created all that alongside Ken and Kale. So he was huge, you know, from those early Nickelodeon days kind of building their brain. And so he decided to make something called Alson S. TV. And that was about digital content creators. They would give them money to help them continue to build and it would be a collaboration. So they called me in. And I never forget I was like, I'm going to produce this show. It's called, that's the gag. With these two guys named Matt and Troy, that my mom found online. And she was like, these guys are good. Y'all could work together. And so I meet with them and we create this meta show that's about my life. About me, Kiki Palmer, becoming a Hasband. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm a Hasband. Like, you know, I'm walking down the street. And somebody's like, aren't you Colin Pratt? And I'm like, no, no, they're like, aren't you making it?

22:31And I'm like, no, no, they're not me. Like, I love you, Dr. Dole. And I'm like, no, no. And it's like, okay. I have to rebuild my career. And I'm going to rebuild it. I'm going to evolve through comedy. And it's so funny because we did that's the gag. And at the end of the season of that show, you know, in the show, I end up doing SNL. And it's like, that's a big moment for me to host SNL. It's like, girl, you did it. You know, you're doing comedy. And it was so crazy because, like, literally 10 years after that's the gag, I hosted SNL. By the time I did one of the days, I think people had started to become comfortable with my community voice, but they hadn't necessarily seen it in actual, like, kind of two to fours, like, the vehicle. For me to really live in that space. It's just really crazy and cool to see people respond to it. You know, I think about the early years, to be honest with you, like, you know, the slapstick classic, you know, sitcom, multi-cam sitcom comedy, I was doing as a kid.

23:31You know, I did that with True Jackson VP. And even with my early days of getting my first pilot with Ralph Barquhar, who comes from the world of creating the parkers and creating Moesha. So it was always there, you know, as they say, the writing was always on the wall. But I've always been able to do many things. When I started performing, I immediately went into TV and film. But I always thought, man, I would love to be good enough to do theater because theaters no joke. And when you think about Broadway, that's like, you know, it gets no more serious than Broadway. And auditions came up for Cinderella. I'll be honest, I was nervous. I was not sure that I would get something like this, right? This is me at age 20-21. It was like, okay, what am I going to be doing next? And I've always felt like, hey, let's continue to write me options. I had put out like a mixtape. I did my single dance alone and put out that OEP project on that. And then I was kind of like to have a stalled out. I've invested a lot of money. And then the audition for Broadway, I should try it. I went in audition and I actually got the part.

24:32And I just started training for Broadway. And I couldn't believe that I was going to get to be the first Black Cinderella on Broadway. Because I grew up loving Who? Brandy. And she was the first Black Cinderella ever, Rodgers and Hermesdan, same as me. And it was an opportunity of a lifetime. The first iteration of me as an adult was born during that time that I did Cinderella on Broadway. And I was excited because I got the opportunity to work with a foundation called Saving Our Daughters when we got to do a derivative attached that foundation called Saving Our Cinderella's. And we got to take a bunch of girls to see me on Broadway. And I'll never forget a little girl in her audience. You know, I come out singing in my own little corner, in my own little chair. I started singing and she was like, that ain't singing the railroad. She was like, she's black. And I'm like, yes, mama, she is. And it was the coolest thing. Because she was like, wow, like, I could be that girl. Being a mother is the one thing that I just knew. I could not leave this world without being.

25:34It's like, I mean, I was always that little girl that was trying to mother somebody. You know, I always had to baby dolls, you know, wanted to just play that role. And so for me to finally get the opportunity to be a mother, especially in the midst of all these things happening with my career, I think I often felt like, I was like, am I running out of time? You know what, I get a chance to do this. And I think as a career woman, that's something that we all struggle with. It's when it's just going to happen for me. And, you know, if I don't make it happen, is it going to happen? And my mom would always tell me like, it'll happen at the right time. It'll happen when it's supposed to. And here I was at this one, 29. I'm pregnant. And I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. You know, it's so funny. When I first saw my son, I'm honestly a very sentimental person. And very emotional. I always, I'm like, you know, yeah. You're in the jokes because, you know, I'm trying to soften how sometimes it's saying the introspective the things that I'm thinking about can be.

26:34But when I saw my son, I think I thought I would cry. But the first thing I said was, hey, man, I'm so happy to meet you. I'm so happy to see you, son. I was looking for you. I can't wait to meet you and talk to you. Like, it was as if I finally had like a friend. Like, when you grow up how I've grown up, right in front of the public eye, a lot of people are always like, you're so wise and you're seeing, you know, you're seeing so this and that. You know, you always can handle any situation. But the truth is, is like, I'm actually experientially quite delayed. Most of my experiences have come on a set, have come in a movie, film. You know, I've learned how to be in exist in society, not because I actually went to high school and had these experiences, because I've researched them through characters. And so, for me to get the opportunity for somebody to meet me, I haven't had anybody meet me without perceiving me. And so, many years, because the world knew me as early as 12.

27:37And now, if you saw me at Barbershop too, for me to have my child, it felt like I was getting another chance at something, you know, somebody was getting to meet me at the base of who I am. Now, you know, and obviously I have my family, my mom, my dad's sister's brothers, but that's one thing. You know what I'm saying? This is a little human that I've created that I get to meet in a way, in an intimate way, that I'll never meet anybody else in that way. It's having a baby is hard. I think relationships are hard. You know, they can't be hard in general. But a baby will let you know if this relationship is going to last or not. And it really will. I think I'm the kind of person where it's like, however you want to do what you want to do it. But, you know, when they do say, hey, there's some levels you should go to before you get there, I do think it makes sense. Because by the time you have that kid, you want to make sure that you have a partner that you can be aligned with, you know, that cares about the same things you care about. And so, yeah, by the time we were in Vegas,

28:38the relationship had severed with my son's father. I went to the Usher concert with my girls. Some of my girls that I work with, and also my friends, I wanted to celebrate the work we have been doing with KTV. We've been working so hard, investing in these shows, and scripting and unscripted for upcoming talent. It was something that was hugely important for me. So, I say, guys, let's go celebrate, you know, in Vegas, and let's go to the Usher concert. And so, we went and we had a good time. And, I mean, I really didn't think much of it. You know, I did. When I won my outfit, I thought to my girl, I looked at my girl, I said, girl, this is too much. She's s**t, you look good. And so, I was like, this is good, you know what I mean? So, I was like, hey, you know. So, went to the concert, it was great. So, I wore this Givenchy see-through look that had, like, a large array situation underneath. It was very sexy. It really was. You know what I mean? But I was, it's so funny, because I really was new in this body. This is, like, post-baby body. And I've always been pretty slim.

29:39You know, I never really had a lot of curbs, or boobs, or booty. You know, I've always been kind of ill. But baby, after that baby, I mean, I don't have the body anymore, but if you were there, you were there. It was good. You know, it was giving our glass down. Okay, just grab it. Baby, this is keep on. I looked good. But it was new for me, and I was really trying to lean in. I think that's the big thing, like, after you have a baby, you're just trying to figure out how to like yourself again. And I actually had a great time. It was so happy, you know what I mean? And, you know, because it wasn't an easy space for me. And I go home the next day on the flight bag, and I'm not, you know, my son's father and I, we have been speaking. And I met my photo shoot. Everybody on my team starts looking real crazy. And I'm thinking to myself, what's wrong with you? Why y'all looking like that? And then somebody shows me on my phone, you know, one of the law sites,

30:39and it's like my son's father online saying a bunch of stuff. And I'm just like, I think I was in shock, you know what I mean? I was just in shock. I don't really know that I have words because for me, I know that people look at the entertainment industry and they think to themselves like, oh, you know, everything is entertainment. And this is all, you know, it's a joke or, you know, it feels, it has a weird idea to it, right? But for me, it's always been a business. It's always been attached to the legacy. It's always been attached to you. I want to make my parents proud. I always felt like it was important to me, as an entertainer, somebody that is in the public eye, to make sure that I'm being positive and leading things in a good way. Even though I'm not perfect, this is my job as a public figure. And so I think for me, this was the first time that something really salacious had ever come up in my career. Pretending to my personal life.

31:39Pretending to me. So I think I just felt very in shock and I was not sure how I was going to respond or not respond. You know what I mean? I'm going through a breakup. I'm being a new mom. I'm trying to like myself again. I'm trying to be a great colleague. I'm trying to be a good friend. I'm trying to be a happy person. It was like disappointed that I didn't have a nuclear household. My parents are kind of like one of the few siblings they have been married as many years as they have been. My parents have been married for 30 plus years. So did I see that for myself? Absolutely. Did I imagine that the person that I had my children with would be my husband and be the person that I stayed with forever? Absolutely I did. That's definitely what I wanted. But that's just not what happened. You know, and I think it's the biggest thing when you are a person that experiences that, when you do become a single mother, a lot of people have thoughts or feelings about how you should have known better or you things should have been, you know, X, Y, and Z and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And whatever that you want to say.

32:40But at the end of the day, it is what it is. You know, I think that's what I had to come to is that I want to be happy. You know, I'm not going to force a picture or force a shoot that doesn't fit. I'm going to deal with the cards that I have dealt. And if somebody is not meeting me where I believe that I deserve to be met, then I have to move on. Sponsored by Huggies. We got you, baby. I don't want my mom. She wanted to be a musician, and she was a musician. She even had her stage name, which was Shayla. Don't play with Shayla, my Shayla. That's my Shayla. And I mean, she had, in ten seconds, I'll be out that door. I mean, she had some albums on it. Y'all ain't heard them. But the albums was killer. She had this one song. If I beg you, will you stay? I won't deny that we have problems. And retrospect, I feel that I have probably caused them. She was eating honey, okay?

33:41So my mom had tons of albums. We would listen to them. She would even like take my sisters like, look, eat trance or whatever like that, and record over them. So she listened to her music in the car. So yeah, my mom was definitely always doing music for many, many years. I mean, the thing, I think, as an entertainer that you're constantly battling is life is happening. And while life is happening, you are performing life at the same time, especially if you do multiple things. Like, I'm not just an actor, even though it's great to dip into a character, especially when your personal life is on fire. I'm also, you know, a musical artist. And I think there was a moment in time after this period where I was not sure I knew what to say or how to say or how to really express what that experience taught me, what it showed me about myself, about what I wanted, about what I needed, about what I had not confronted.

34:41Like, I don't have a lot of experiences outside of TV and film. And when you watch TV and film, when you perform in them, the characters are the exception. They're not the rule, right? So you can be jewelry robbers and not a heel. But in real life, that s**t don't work. Those are miracle situations, where the two opposites, you know, become the perfect recipe. I've always lived in that dream, like, state. So when things have happened in my life, where it didn't turn out the way it did in the movies, I'm very shocked. And I think I get like, okay, where do I go from there? A part of being an artist is, you know, where you gotta grow. A part of being a person is growing and experiencing and being able to live to tell the tale. And so when I sat down and decided that I wanted to do the album, it was because I wanted to time stamp this moment in my life to be able to process it. The best way I know how to. And that's how I process most things on a stage. Whether it is a character, it's my music, it's a song,

35:42or a moment, you know, leaving a joke. For me, just to keep you the album was the best way that I was going to be able to kind of express that time in my life, that time period in my life. And I got together with my best friend, Taylor. You know, like, I've known Taylor since I was nine years old. We met in an American Junior's competition. She's been my best friend since we were kids. And she's also an incredible artist and writer. A lot of kids under her belt. I knew I wanted her to executive produce this album because I knew I was going to have to finally get out what I hadn't got out. And so we sat down and she was like, so what's going on for real? Like what do you mean, girl? And we just had a real conversation about what was going on, about the confusion, about the disappointment, about the humiliation, things didn't go as planned. You know, and that's how we found our way to off-scrap. It's like the melody of the song was a temple of my rage.

36:44You know, it was a temple of that rage. And then misunderstood was the temple of the grief and the resolve. I think when you're somebody, like when you, when you're a key land to be, or you're like somebody that again has had to be like undeniable, or you're a high achiever, or you're accomplished, like, you know, you don't get that way without being really, really hard on yourself. And anytime that you have a moment of imperfection or being human, it can be really tough. But in the day, that is what it is to be human. It's to be imperfect, to have things happen, to life have life happen to you. You know, nobody is exempt from that. It doesn't matter how important you are. They're going to be things that fall short and they're not going to make you worse. They're going to make you better. So it's like, it's okay if at the end of the day, sometimes I'm just misunderstood. You know, it's okay when things go off-scrap. Sometimes they go off-scrap so that they can turn it into a new story, and that could be the best one written.

37:44The one you was writing, that was old and delayed. The one you get, too. That's the one that you really want. You know? That's it.