Joseph's Tears

0:00I'll try to share it to our tour, then it's a couple's, both the Parshaw and the Kha'vatschayim, some level, because afterwards Rabbi Lothra will be speaking, so we'll try to do a combo. At the end of last week's Parshaw, so the, it tells us that Joseph and the brothers, they come back down to Egypt after the burial of their father, and they realize the brothers go into a panic that perhaps Joseph's patience is indulgence, is tolerance of their behavior of selling them down the, the rivers of the speak literally, perhaps he's going to take out revenge upon them, and he only tolerated them as long as their father was alive, but

1:06now that, now that Yaakov has passed, he's going to finally get his revenge on them. And they come, they come and they create a false story, a false narrative, saying that your father said, Avikhatsivah, because they knew that if they mentioned the name Jacob before, before Avikhah, they mentioned the name of their father, the best of their father, Joseph will be powerless, so to speak, to resist that call, and he says, say to Joseph that, behold, carry the son, no, please carry now the sin of your brothers and the sin that they did, because they did bad to you, and now carry that sin, right, of the servants of the God of your father. And it says, Joseph was crying when he spoke to, when they spoke to him, and the brothers fall before him, he says, we're, I've had them before you, we're

2:08servants to you, so he tells them, yes, he says, don't fear, I'm not in a place of God, you thought bad, right, but God had a plan for good in order that I could, that you could, I could support you, don't worry, I'm going to support you and you and your children, and he spoke on their heart. So the story, what exactly is going on over here, and what is its message that there is, that he carries for all of us. So one question that I don't know I wanted to look into, I never quite sure when they, all of the, when the brothers who go into this panic, I don't understand, was all of the brothers there, were just ten of them, was Benjamin there, when they all fell before Joseph and pleaded for mercy. So first of all, they sent the sons of Bill Hott, who thought them, and then they all came farther in. Right, right, but the question is, did Benjamin come? That baby not, but probably he has, because they all had something, they, he's their

3:12eights, if they have him. But, but why would, I understand the others are in a panic, I, I don't know why Benjamin, why was he, why, he was a part of it, he wasn't part of it, he was a part of the sale, so why should he be nervous? No, he's not nervous, he wasn't nervous at all, it's the brothers that were nervous, but he wasn't nervous. The Torah does it differentiate, okay, I hear him, I'm just, that's how I'm, that's how I thought, that's just the question that I had, that's the question that I had, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know the, what was the tension of the situation, did it include Benjamin in that tension or not, all of the other brothers, you can understand the, the more, little more nervous, the less nervous, you can understand. But why Benjamin should be included in it, I don't know, and the Torah seems to include him. It would affect Benjamin also, if he has a thing for the brothers, he's one of the brothers, he's not going to single out, okay, good, good, so it would be all, meaning his, his tension, he's included, not because he had a threat over his head, but because he didn't want to see the breakup of the family, okay, beautiful, okay, good.

4:18It seems to be that, that Benjamin knew that they sold him down the river, yeah, it seems to be, Jacob, nobody told you, yeah, Jacob, it didn't know, it seems, it seems that Jacob didn't know, but that Benjamin did know that the brothers had conspired, that he does, he did find out, it's a strange, the, what was the Joseph crying, what was he crying about? Disappointment. How's the appointment? That his brothers would think such a crazy thing as that, right, so you could learn like Jeff that he was disappointed, that they could think that that's about him, and you could add to that disappointment a little bit, it could be he was also reflecting, and with that reflection, sometimes you have, I myself had this experience, I got an email from somebody, after high holidays, number of years ago, and person tells me, why were you upset

5:29with me at high holidays, so he writes to me, he says, you know, everybody came over you said hello to everybody, and you didn't say hello to me, I thought I said hello to everybody, and I've no, he says that, no, after by Kiddish, by Kiddish, I asked him, I just referenced, by Kiddish, right, I saw you went over to so many people and you walked right past me, and you didn't wish me a good yomptive, you didn't wish me a good shanat of a, that sort of was during the course of the entire high holidays, I spoke to him, that was the question, by Kiddish, sometimes you have a situation that the person feels that

6:34you are harsh with him or you are not liking him or you, person has to realize the chasanish, the chasanish was extremely strict, chasanish did not hold of airvin, he didn't hold that the air of that we build, these types of community, airvin, even in Ben-Abrah works, even in Ben-Abrah, chasanish was of the opinion, it doesn't work, he only, a house a, with those types of airvin, but the chasanish did not carry, even in Ben-Abrah, and it was one thing that the chasanish did, and it was, it was known that the chasanish did not carry, his students didn't carry, but it was one thing known about the chasanish, one leniency that the chasanish did, and that was he wore glasses, we don't think about these things, but we all wear glasses, but the chasanish would have, in Halacha, he held that it was preferable not to wear glasses, not sure about his type of glasses, but he felt that if he doesn't, if he's not lenient, what's the what he said, if he's not, doesn't go regarding the glasses

7:36with the lenient view, what's going to happen is he's going to walk in the street, someone's going to be greeting him from a distance, he's not going to see it, the person's going to think he saw him, and he's going to feel hurt that the chasanish didn't nod to him, or didn't say hi, you didn't, and he said on such a case it's not worth it to be stringent, so here you have, maybe potentially, a person has a responsibility even for that, so one could suggest here that Yosef felt he was a little bit reflecting, and that's why the Dhaber Ali Bami spoke to them, no, no, no, no, no, I don't have any, your suspicions, your feelings, right, what's it called mirroring, I think, and I'm not a good psychology, but I think it's called mirroring, some of them are those lines, where you feel that the person's mirroring the image, so if you feel that way, he probably feels the same

8:36about me, but if Yosef felt maybe I didn't go out of my way enough to pacify or to comfort or to give strength or to chisel or smile at the brothers, right, and therefore Yosef had to speak to him and he says that perhaps those tears were, that maybe I should have been more, not giving, because he gave them a free bank account, not giving, but in terms of the smile, in terms of the smile, in terms of the get together, in terms of all of that, perhaps Yosef felt that he could have done more in the sense of that, and that was perhaps what he was crying about, but certainly practically for you and I, that we have to go out of our way to see that people feel our genuine warmth, that we have to make sure that everybody feels, I was just saying that we have to go out of our way to see what

9:37was his greatness, what did he feel, I was just saying that one of his great, he felt why was he so sure, so I remember him, why did he marry a long life, or just like Kidma Le, because nobody got to say that, does it say though, is that the guy who says why was he so sure, it's a long life, a long life, I don't remember exactly, I think it says, he was saying, what was his greatest merit, he was responsible for the way that the Jewish people looked till today, right, he says, like Kidma, not free, but Shuk, a non-Jew never greeted him in the marketplace first, he gave a smile for everybody, that was his claim to fame, he had everything else going from, you see here that it's not enough that we feel in our hearts the love, people have to feel, people have to feel our love, they have to feel we have to go out of our way to uplift people's spirits, we have to go out

10:38of our way, right, to see that everybody feels, right, the genuineness of a smile, to feel our smile, to feel our warmth, right, that is what the parishes teaching us, and that's the essence, that the parishes, parishes goes into great detail, all right, let's hope is Rata Shem, that we can emulate this lesson and become people that nobody should ever feel that we're not smiling to them. Can I add something to what you said about Yoseph, this is from my father's idea, where he says Yoseph cries when he spoke to them, and Yoseph says to himself, my God, my father knew all along, and I never spent any time with him alone because I was afraid he was going to ask me, I only can't defend the gatherings, and that's where he cries, I could have learned so much tour of the 17 years, and I didn't, and now I know he knew all along, this is what he's crying for the last 17 years, he could have learned. As soon as the sacrifice that Joseph was willing to do for the sake of Shalom, not to embarrass

11:39his brothers, it's my battle, it's really my battle. It's over, it's over, it's over, it's over, it's over.