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God bless you. It's great to be with you today.
And I hope you'll stay connected with us during the week
through our daily podcast, our YouTube channel,
social media, and you can come visit us in person.
We'd love to have you be a part of one of our services.
I like to start with something funny.
I heard about this little girl.
She was sitting on her grandfather's lap
and she noticed how wrinkled his face was.
As she contemplated the difference between his and hers,
she said, Granddaddy, did God make you?
He kind of laughed and said, yes, honey.
He made me a long time ago.
She then asked, did God make me?
He said, yes, he made you just a little while ago.
She thought about it a minute, said, Granddaddy,
God's getting better, isn't he?
All right, y'all, say it like you mean it.
This is my Bible.
I am what it says I am.
I have what it says I have.
I can do what it says I can do.
Today I will be taught the Word of God.
I've only confessed my mind is alert,
my heart is receptive, I will never be the same.
In Jesus' name, God bless you.
I want to talk to you today about building yourself up.
It's good to have people that cheer us on
and speak faith into our life,
a spouse that complements us,
a neighbor with an uplifting word,
a friend that's always there to encourage.
It's healthy when you have people
that make you feel valued and appreciated.
But it becomes unhealthy if you start depending on them
to keep you cheer now.
If they don't compliment you,
you don't feel good about who you are.
If they're not there to encourage you,
you don't have the passion.
That coworker doesn't tell you,
you did good on your project, you're down,
thinking you're not enough.
We can become addicted to approval
and addicted to compliments,
to where we base our value, our worth,
on what people are telling us.
Kind of like a drug, we need them to feel good
about who we are.
But God didn't create you to be dependent
on someone else to keep you fixed.
He uses people in those ways,
but at some point he's gonna pull them back.
He's not gonna let them keep giving you that,
otherwise you would get stuck.
And the problem with relying on people
is people can let you down.
People can be busy and they're not there
when you need them.
People have their own issues,
raising their children, struggling with their marriage.
If you're counting on them to call you each morning
and prop you up and tell you how good you look at work
and encourage you in every difficulty,
that's a co-dependent relationship.
You need them to feel good about who you are.
Here's a key.
If nobody is complimenting you,
you need to learn to compliment yourself.
If nobody told you that you look good today,
why don't you look in the mirror and say,
wow, you look good.
You're a masterpiece, one of a kind, a prized possession.
Nobody made you feel special.
Your friend didn't call.
That neighbor didn't come over.
Good news, you can make yourself feel special.
I am a child of the most high.
I've been hand-picked by the creator of the universe.
I have royal blood flowing through my veins.
Quit putting how you feel about yourself.
You moved, you value in someone else's hands.
The scripture says, build yourself up.
Don't rely on other people to affirm, to approve,
to validate, approve yourself.
I made in the image of Almighty God.
I'm approved, I'm worthy, I'm valuable.
When you're trying to get your approval
and your validation from other people,
you're at their mercy.
They're having a bad day, they're upset,
mad at their spouse.
You're not going to get what you were hoping for.
But when you learn to build yourself up,
what they give or don't give doesn't affect you.
You already built up.
You already know who you are.
You don't need other people to keep you fixed.
You encourage yourself.
You complimented yourself.
You approved yourself.
This is a powerful way to live.
Nobody else is controlling your mood,
your self-worth, you've taken control.
Every morning, before you leave the house,
you need to build yourself up.
Don't go out hoping to get encouraged.
Hoping someone makes you feel good.
Maybe my coworker will compliment me.
Make me feel valuable.
They don't control your value.
Don't give them that power.
If you're trying to get those things from people,
you're going to live on a roller coaster.
Because one day people will love you,
and the next day they're talking behind your back.
One day your friend is full of compliments.
The next day they're full of a lot of other stuff.
One day your spouse is so encouraging, uplifting.
The next day she's dealing with PMS.
That means pretty mean sister.
When you build yourself up, you're not moved
by the negative chatter.
You're not bitter over who didn't give you credit.
You're not frustrated because people didn't approve you.
You've already approved yourself.
Nobody said anything good about all your hard work.
That's okay.
You already complimented yourself.
Nobody clapped for your excellent presentation.
The ones that should have been so encouraging,
happy for you, they got jealous.
They found fault.
That's all right.
You already clapped for yourself.
They didn't celebrate you, but you celebrated yourself.
Father, thank you for helping me to shine.
Thank you for my gifts, my talents,
causing me to excel.
You're not dependent on what others do
to feel good about who you are.
Every time I walk off this platform
and finish another message, I said,
Joel, that was good today.
You did excellent.
And I don't mean that arrogantly,
but I've learned to celebrate myself.
May not have been as good as what someone else could do.
There are ministers more skilled, more experienced,
but I did to the best of my ability.
It's healthy to clap for yourself,
to celebrate what you've done.
You're not bragging on you,
you're bragging on the gifts,
the talents, the abilities that God has given you.
For some people, no matter what they do,
it's never enough.
There's always a nagging voice,
telling them they should have done better.
They live with this inner critic
that's constantly putting them down,
horning out their faults, magnifying the negative.
Well, you gave a good message, Joel,
but it's kind of slow at times.
You worked out four times this week,
you really should have done five or.
Yeah, you look all right today,
but not like you used to look.
Do yourself a favor, tune out that inner critic.
You have enough people on the outside trying to push you down,
limit your potential, lessen your value,
you don't need one on the inside.
Nobody should be more for you than you.
That's not being selfish,
that's being responsible with the gift God has given you.
Learn to celebrate yourself.
You clap for others,
when was the last time you clap for yourself?
You compliment your friends,
when was the last time you complimented yourself?
You bragged on your coworker,
that was excellent, you did great.
When was the last time you bragged on you?
You told yourself, you did great.
It's healthy to clap for you.
The more you applaud yourself,
the less dependent you are on other people's applause.
If you approve yourself,
you're not gonna be needy for other people's approval.
If you're free with your compliments to yourself,
then you won't be insecure,
trying to play up to people to win their compliments.
Get them to validate you,
tell you that you're good, you won't need that.
You've already built yourself up with who God says you are.
You already know you're valuable, you're worthy,
you're talented, attractive, you're exceptional.
And yes, it's nice when people reaffirm that,
but you're not dependent on it
to feel good about who you are.
You know who you are.
One time I was talking to a man after the service,
and he was very nice, but he said,
Joel, I just didn't understand that point that you made
in your message, didn't make sense to me.
If I would have heard that the first couple of years
I'd been ministering, I'd been depressed for two months,
gone home defeated, feeling inadequate,
but I've learned what I'm telling you.
I didn't need his applause.
I had already clapped for myself.
I wasn't basing my joy, my worth, my confidence,
on what he did or didn't give me.
I had already built myself up.
And yes, I'm always open for suggestions,
there are things I can do better,
but you're never going to please everyone.
No matter how good you do, someone's gonna find Paul,
try to discredit, not give their approval.
I love what Jesus said.
Your approval or disapproval means nothing to me.
He wasn't being disrespectful.
He was simply saying, I know who I am,
and I know where I get my value.
That's the place we need to get to.
We don't have to have people's approval
to feel good about who we are.
Sure, there will be those that disapproze.
That doesn't phase us.
We don't get defensive and try to straighten them out.
We don't get discouraged and go around feeling less than.
We keep our shoulders back.
We know who we are.
They didn't approve us, but we've approved ourselves.
They didn't compliment us,
but we complimented ourselves.
When that man told me that he didn't understand my point,
I thought to myself, I didn't say it,
but I thought I can't help it if there's something wrong with you.
I didn't take it personally.
I didn't let it ruin my day.
When you're built up on the inside,
that's gonna protect you from what comes on the outside.
The first thing I do every morning,
after I thank God for what he's done,
is I'll remind myself who I am.
Lord, I thank you that you chose me
before I could choose you,
that I'm a person of destiny redeemed and forgiven.
You've made me worthy.
You've approved me.
You've accepted me.
You've crowned me with your favor.
You planned out all of my days for good.
I never leave the house without building myself up.
That way I'm not waiting for someone else to build me up,
hoping that my spouse says something to cheer me up,
hoping that my coworker clats for me.
So I feel valuable,
hoping my friend compliments me,
so I'll be secure.
No quit depending on people.
That's no way to live.
That's putting yourself worth,
you're moved into their hands.
Put it in God's hands.
Go to Him to get your value, you're approval.
See, the scripture says,
out of your belly, shall flow rivers of living water.
We're looking to others to keep us filled out.
Keep me encouraged, keep me secure,
keep me feeling valuable.
Here's a key.
Nobody can give you everything you need.
Nobody can keep you fixed.
Your spouse, your friend, your boss,
they can love you more than anything.
Be totally for you,
but only God can give you what you need.
He'll use people, but people are limited.
If you're depending on a person,
it's not only gonna frustrate you,
but it's a lot of pressure on them.
When they take that weight of thinking,
I got a call and encourage and be there
and cheer up and approve and I can't let them down,
that's a load they can't carry.
You're trying to get from them what only God can get.
The sooner you start building yourself up,
the better off it's gonna be for you
and the others in your life.
You weren't created to live relying on someone else,
basing your work on who approves you, approve yourself,
turn off that inner critic that's always putting you down.
You're supposed to feel good about who you are.
Now know you have flaws,
areas you need to improve in, so do I,
but you don't have to wait till you're perfect
to feel worthy and to feel approved.
In the book of Genesis, the earth was without form,
and void, and God said, let there be light and light came,
and God saw the light and said that was good.
He stopped and clapped for himself.
I did good.
What's interesting is there were no planets,
no oceans, no animals, no people, he wasn't finished.
There were still a lot of things that needed to be done,
but he didn't wait till it was all complete,
he celebrated along the way.
On the second day, God separated the waters from the sky.
He still hadn't made any fish,
still no mountain ranges, still no sunsets,
but at the end of the day, God said that was good.
He stopped and applauded, complimented himself.
Same thing after day three, day four, day five,
even though it wasn't finished, he said it was good.
The truth is none of us are finished products,
but God is still working on us.
Even though we have things we need to improve in,
you shouldn't feel unworthy.
Go around down on yourself,
trying to get people to approve you.
God has already approved you.
He's already accepted you.
Why don't you start believing that you're worthy,
that you're valuable.
Have you ever clapped for yourself,
or are you too focused on your weaknesses,
how you don't measure up,
and you're not as talented as that coworker?
The enemy would love for you to feel unworthy,
when in fact you're a masterpiece.
The creator of the universe applauded for you.
Why are you depending on people to tell you that you're good,
you're talented, you're attractive,
you're trying to get from them
what God has already given you.
Why don't you start building yourself up,
declaring who God says you are?
See, if you're relying on this from people,
it's going to limit you.
If you're basing your joy, your attitude,
your self-worth on who compliments you,
and who claps for you, and who thinks you're attractive,
can I tell you, you don't need their applause.
You can clap for yourself.
You don't need their compliments.
You can compliment yourself
out of your belly, shall flow rivers of living water.
Some people, that river is stopped up.
They've lived their whole life,
trying to gain their approval,
and earn their value, and convince people to clap for them.
They live frustrated, letting people manipulate them,
down on themselves,
because they're not getting the applause,
today can be a turning point.
Quit looking to people, and start looking to God.
Nobody is complimenting you,
learn to compliment yourselves.
Nobody buying you flowers, buy yourself some flowers.
Nobody taking you to dinner, take yourself to dinner.
I know a young woman, when she was in junior high,
she didn't have a lot of friends.
She had just moved to a new school,
and most of the students had grown up together
and been friends for years.
She couldn't seem to break in and connect with anyone.
During Valentine's week, the school had a tradition
where you could send another student, a carnation.
They were just 25 cents.
They would be delivered during home room
on Valentine's Day in front of the whole class.
She knew she wasn't going to receive any,
because she didn't know anybody.
She was dreading that day.
No one's going to feel left out and embarrassed by it all.
Then she came up with an idea.
She decided to send herself some flowers.
She took $5 and went down to the office,
got 20 different forms, so nobody would know.
It was the same person.
On Valentine's Day, most of the girls
got four or five carnations.
The real popular girl got seven,
but this young lady had every other carnation
delivered to her.
People were thinking, who is this girl?
She has so many friends.
They asked, who's this one from?
She smiled and said, from someone
that really thinks I'm special.
You celebrate others.
Do you ever celebrate yourself?
You're good to your friends.
You encourage them.
You build them up.
Do you ever build yourself up?
It's not selfish to be good to you.
The more you applaud yourself,
the less depended you are on other people's applause.
And the more secure you're going to be.
I have a pastor friend in another state
that used to call me every Sunday afternoon.
He would speak at his two services in their morning,
then come home and watch the replay of my message online.
He's always so encouraging and uplifting.
He would tell me how good I did and how impactful it was.
And man, I really like this point on and on.
You'd think I was the greatest pastor ever.
That was his personality.
His whole nature was to build people up.
But he told me later, he would drive home every Sunday
from his church thinking about how he didn't do good.
That was too long.
That wasn't clear.
I forgot to say this.
He said, I never left my church one time
feeling good about myself.
I always went home, disappointed.
He knew how to compliment others,
but he didn't know how to compliment himself.
He clapped for me all the time.
He was my biggest cheerleader,
but he never clapped for himself.
He was great at building me up,
making me feel valuable, well able,
but he never built himself up.
He listened to that inner critic,
always finding fault, pushing him down.
Don't go your whole life being good to others,
but never being good to you.
Encouraging them, but not encouraging you.
Thinking highly of your friends,
but not thinking highly of you.
And yes, it's good to applaud others,
but you have to learn to clapped for yourself.
They may be more successful, have more talent, more looks,
but you have something they don't have.
You are unique.
You are one of a kind.
Don't discount who you are.
God didn't make anything second-class, subpar.
He calls you a masterpiece.
When he created the solar system,
he said that was good.
The mountain range is good.
The oceans good, but when he breathed life into you,
he said that was very good.
Put your shoulders back.
Hold your head up high.
When you clapped for yourself,
you'll clap in for your Creator.
When you compliment yourself,
you're complimenting the God who made you.
When you build yourself up,
you're saying, God, I thank you for who I am.
Bless, strong, talented, worthy, victorious.
That's giving praise to God.
Several years later, I was with this same pastor friend,
and I just finished an interview on a national network.
And it was live a real big deal,
he came along with me.
We got in the car afterwards,
and it was me and Victoria, him and one other close friend.
I looked at them and said, wow, y'all, I did really good.
I don't think I could have done any better.
And I wasn't bragging.
I was just grateful that I'd done well.
I didn't think anything about saying that.
He told me later that moment changed his life.
He had never once said to himself that he had done good.
He'd grown up with that negative recording
playing in his mind.
When he heard me being positive toward myself,
a stronghold was broken in his thinking.
He started applauding himself,
approving himself, encouraging himself.
You have enough people in life against you.
Don't be against yourself.
You need to be for you.
You won't reach your destiny,
letting that inner critic always put you down.
That causes you to feel inferior, insecure,
where you're trying to get approval and applause
from those around you.
Depending on them to keep you fixed,
you can fix yourself.
Every morning, remind yourself who God says you are.
Don't rely on other people, build yourself up.
When I first started ministry,
I was very insecure and intimidated.
I'd been behind the scenes for many years,
I liked it there.
I was comfortable, but now I was out in front of people.
I was very unsure of myself,
and I lived off of people's compliments.
After the service, people would tell me,
oh, that was so good today, I really enjoyed it.
Those words helped give me the strength,
the confidence to keep going.
When I'd get up to minister that first year,
people would cheer and cheer.
They were so loyal to my parents,
they wanted me to succeed so badly
that they poured all their encouragement
and support into me.
I could have talked about Moses defeating Goliath
and David parting the red sea.
God it backwards, they still would have cheered.
God knew that I needed that external applause,
that outside validation and approval
to keep moving forward.
God will make sure that you have what you need
every stage of your journey.
And yes, there are times you need others
speaking into your life, encouraging you,
helping you to stay built up.
But at some point, God is going to remove that
so it doesn't become a crutch
to where you rely on others to keep you encouraged.
You depend on your friends to keep you cheered up.
Your family to keep you feeling valuable.
That's temporary provision.
But like a mother, wings a baby off the bottle,
God is going to wean you off the external approval,
the external applause.
You have to learn to get that from the inside.
Out of your belly, shall flow rivers of living water.
Instead of depending on others, you become self-sufficient.
That's what Paul said in Philippians,
I am self-sufficient in Christ's efficiency.
When you go to God, you're not dependent on others.
In the first few years,
every time I finished my message and walked off the platform,
Victoria would say,
Joel, that was amazing today.
You did so good.
She would always compliment me and make me feel so encouraged.
I looked forward to it.
I knew like clockwork.
Victoria will have this kind of lifting word.
I didn't realize that's where I was getting my validation,
my approval from people telling me I did good.
One day, I walked off the platform and Victoria didn't say a word.
I waited and waited and waited.
She started asking me about something else.
I answered real quickly,
then kind of hinted about the message,
trying to pull a compliment out.
Unfortunately, she didn't get the hint.
She turned him with the other way.
Not at all, maybe she just preoccupied,
has something else on her mind.
I went to the lobby, the old church.
She'll hands with several hundred visitors.
Not one of them said anything about my message.
Usually every other one, just being courteous,
oh, that was so good.
The funny thing is, I knew it was a good message.
I was confident, but I was waiting for someone else to tell me.
I needed outside approval to feel good about it.
I left the church that day feeling so discouraged.
I got home.
Our dog can hear the garage door going up.
She's always at the back door,
jumping up on me so happy to see me.
That's one thing I can count on.
I opened the door and the dog was overlaying in her bed.
She didn't even get up.
She turned her head to look at me for like two seconds,
didn't turn and looked away.
Like she was saying, oh, it's just you.
Rolled over and went back to sleep.
God will use your dog to work on you.
What was happening?
God was weaning me off having to have compliments
and approve on validation from the outside.
Yes, there may be seasons where you're getting that.
Don't be surprised if God pulls it back.
You can't reach your highest potential
depending on others.
It's great when people compliment you,
but it's even more powerful when you can compliment yourself.
It's nice when they applaud.
They approve. They validate.
The problem is you can't depend on people.
If they're keeping you fixed, that's temporary.
God didn't create you to have to rely on someone else
for your self-worth, your approval,
or even your encouragement.
I love to encourage, but at some point,
you have to learn to encourage yourself.
You can't find me on television.
Your cousin's not there.
Your neighbor that you can always count on,
it's not available.
Take it as a compliment.
God is growing you up.
He's getting you ready for higher levels.
The less you depend on other people,
the more mature you are.
My challenge today, start building yourself up.
Nobody's clapping for you, start clapping for yourself.
No one is approving you, approve yourself.
You don't have to go to people,
go to your heavenly Father, the God who created you.
If you'll do this, I'll believe and declare
change of insecurity, low self-esteem, unworthiness,
or be in broken right now.
God is breathing strength, value, freedom, healing.
You're about to rise higher,
accomplish dreams, and reach new levels
of your destiny in Jesus' name.
And if you receive it, can you say amen?
Amen.
I'd like to give you an opportunity
to make Jesus the Lord of your life.
Would you pray with me?
Just say, Lord Jesus, I repent of my sins.
Come into my heart.
I make you my Lord and Savior.
If you prayed that simple prayer,
we believe you got born again.
We'd love to send you some free information
on your new walk with the Lord.
You can text the number on the screen
or go to the website.
But I hope you'll get into a good Bible-based church
and keep God first place.
