"I Think Your Husband Is Cheating On You"

0:00Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. I feel like God brought me this amazing man. I love my marriage. I want to stay married forever. Now, financially, we are very both immature. The fault lies on both of us. So we've never had joint-baked accounts. I've asked previously about it and he didn't want to do it. So I was just kind of like whatever I'll just deal with it. But we really come into some problems. One day I came home and there's a new vehicle at our apartment. I thought it was a joke, but it was not a joke. And then he's also booked multiple vacations without discussing it with me. But on the flip side, I'm no better. So I was paying from my sister's car for quite a long time. Probably a year to help her out.

1:01So he never knew about it. And then also, so I signed up, well, I volunteered, to pay for my mother's like pre-furnal arrangements. Pre-furnal? Like she hasn't passed? No, she hasn't passed. So she's old though. She's in her 70s and she doesn't really have any money. So what had happened with my brother had passed away and she got like a settlement. And so she paid for the funeral with part of it and then just like blew the rest of it. OK. OK, so what? What are you wanting, Amy? So whenever, so he's a vacation right now, my husband. With who? By himself. That's not a thing. Amy, I think he's cheating on you.

2:02Guys don't do R&R on their own to get away on a trip. And I think that's part of why he's been so cagey about combining finances and so against it. I think the parts you know are the tip of the iceberg. You think so? I think so. How many of these trips does he do a year? Well, this was the first one, but there's two more planned. By himself? Yeah. Where did he tell you he's going? They're cruises to different places. Does he not invite you? Amy, does that worry you at all? Is that weird to you? You know those free samples at the store that are up for grabs for anyone? Well, that's basically what's happening with your personal information online. Data broker sites collect stuff like your address, phone number, email, even your family's information,

3:02and just post it online for anyone to grab. And that's why I use DeleteMe. They remove your personal info from hundreds of data broker websites and keep it gone. So stop letting random websites treat your data like it's free samples. Get 20% off your annual plan at joindeleteme.com slash ramsy. Amy, does it worry you? At all, is that weird to you? It's a little weird to me. How long have you been married? So we've been married for five years. This is both our second marriage. OK, do you have kids? We have four together. So I have two, he has two. Oh, from the previous marriages? Yes, VM. OK. So the one that's going to come out towards the end of this year, he didn't want me to go. And then one day I was like, I'm going to go. And then the next day he was like, did you book it? And I said, well, no, I was just kind of messing with you.

4:03And he's like, well, I don't know how to tell you this, but I don't want you to go. Amy. Amy, this is not a marriage. This isn't good. You know that, right? I mean, I know it. I just don't want to address it, and like, regardless of whatever is going on, and I want to be married forever. I don't know if it's going to be to him, because he doesn't want to be married to you. And he's made that clear by continually cheating on you behind your back, going on these cruises. And just not wanting a life with you, not wanting to share any level of information, making his own decisions, making purchases. And what you said, too, you're doing the same. Yeah, I don't know. I think what I would probably do in the situation, Amy, I'm not sure you would do. But if I woke up in your shoes, there would be an absolute cancel of all trips going forward that is solo, as well as I want to see every transaction

5:09that you have been making financially. Because when you financially hide money, there's usually another person involved. There's an addiction involved. Like there are not good things. You don't hide money because you're really smart and kind person, right? Like, no, you're hiding money because it's deceitful. You're putting it in the dark. It's not in the light. There's no freedom in that. And so I would, yeah, I would be, I would demand such specific documentation on everything. I would get cell phone record. I mean, I would, because I would be convinced that there's somebody else. Do you have money of your own? Are you working full-time? Oh, yeah, I work full-time. OK. I mean, I would be at least hiring a private investigator just to get some info if you can't get it yourself. Just to verify. Because when we're making some assumptions, I think they're right. We're a hundred, but yeah, yeah, yeah.

6:09But if you just want some verification, because it seems like you are going to be in denial or you put that through and don't tell them and you show up with a camera and I think you could probably sell some content on the internet. But I can and good faith tell you to stay married to someone who's constantly committing infidelity. Yeah. But that's what I'm saying is I don't know which you, you know, we'll get off this call, Amy, and you have to decide the life that you want for you. And I want you, Amy, to have self-respect, to be loved by somebody and taking care of by somebody who loves Amy. You are worth more than this. To then to live your life looking over your shoulder all the time. And again, people do and people make decisions and that is that's not my free reign. People get mad because I think that we keep telling people to get divorced when they get cheated. You know, when we say this stuff, we're like, I'd like to marriage. So you have to decide for Amy what you want. But I don't think you have a marriage, Amy. OK. I don't think you have a godly husband

7:11who's loving and serving you well. Right. Like if you want to talk scripture, we can talk scripture. But that's not what's happening. And so I want you to have the self-dignity to be able to say that, yeah, I'm worth more than that, to be treated like this. And I would, yeah, I mean, I would do what you could to find out what's going on. The private investigator thing ain't a bad idea, George. If you just want some answers, but you may not, you may not want it. I don't know. But I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry, Amy. That is so hard. It breaks my heart for you. You're going through this. Yeah. No. Thank you, I'm much. The best thing you can do is just start to kind of protect yourself and create your own little islands so that you're OK financially. That's right. If you did leave this marriage, you would be able to. Not combine finances with this man, though. Nope. He's not saying. That's a time when, yeah. We want couples to work together. Not that you would, anyways, as he's made that clear. He's not asking for it. Gosh, Amy, I'm so sorry.

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