How to Package Yourself w/ Paige Gallagher

0:00Hi, I am matchmaker and dating coach Blaine Anderson and I'm here with Paige Gallagher and we are going to audit the love life of a single. Yeah. So your job is to be brutally honest and we are going to try and figure out why he's single and what he means to do differently to find love. Okay. Are you up for it? Yeah, totally. Okay. Let's go. Alan, we are ready for you. Hello. Hi, Alan. Come on down to the hot sea. This is scary. No, we are going to be nice too, maybe. We'll see. No promises. If you can tell us where you're from, what you do and how old you are. Okay. Yeah. So I'm from Orange County. I'm 47 next week. You know, happy early birthday. Happy birthday. Thank you. And then what do I do for living? Was that a question?

1:00I'm in packaging sales. Packaging sales. Yeah. So I saw a shrink film, flexible films in the grocery market mostly for, you know, like when you buy some food out there, it comes out in that thermal-form film. Sorry. Really exciting stuff. Okay. Have you been doing that a long time? Yeah. I've been in packaging for about 20 years. Okay. Wow. Yeah. So what brings you here today? What's going on in your dating life that we are going to be helpful with? Well, you know my girl Kayla, right? Yeah. Yeah. Kayla is a coach on my team. A dating coach. Oh, yeah. Oh, I love Kayla. I grew up with her. No way. Yeah. Shit. We went back. Can I cut us on this? Yes. Okay. Speak your mind. Adults only. Yeah. We go way back. Back to like the 90s. You know, went to high school with her. No way. You went to high school with her? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And she told me about what she's doing now. And I'm like, you know, it's kind of be perfect for me.

2:03You know, I got divorced like, you know, was it seven years ago? Wow. And then, you know, I've had some girlfriends here and there, but I'm just basically. I think it's just because I'm broke as fuck, but I don't know. That's your diagnosis. That's my diagnosis. And there's probably self-imposed, but I kind of, I mean, if I'm going to be completely honest, it's probably, you know, I'm single right now because I'm a little insecure about that. Probably, probably, I'm going to be honest. But then. So have you been single since your divorce? No. I had a girlfriend like a steady girlfriend for like two to three years. And then she, you know, that didn't work out. And then I had another girlfriend for about a year and a half. And then we just ended that like a couple months ago. Okay. So you're a girlfriend man. Yeah. You have a lot of relationships. Yeah. Okay. So now you're back on the dating market. And do you, are you looking for your next girlfriend or do you need some me time?

3:03What's going on? I've had enough of me time. Yeah. I'm looking for my next girlfriend, you know, with me, it's like more, you know, the older I am now, it's, it's more about, um, companionship, you know, kind of go, you know, enjoying the moment with someone. So I kind of have a difficult time with that. And I don't know, we'll probably get into that later, but, you know, I'm also a single father. And it's like, so it's like, I don't have a lot of time and, you know, how old are your kids? Uh, 10 and 12 to those. Okay. Fun. And they live with you. Yeah. Full time. Uh, half time. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So half the time you're basically in dad mode. And then the other half of the time it's like, how do I make the most of that? Yeah. To meet partners. Pretty much. Are you open to having more kids? No. Done. All done. Yeah. Do you guys have kids? I do. I have a, uh, almost one year old. Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't have kids. I don't want kids.

4:04I don't think either. I feel like no comedians want kids. Well, yeah. I mean, we're very selfish being. So I feel like really, and we're always on the road. So it's like, yeah, it's just not sustainable. Yeah. I don't think I, I also just never really had that like paternal or maternal instinct. Growing up, I never really had that. My younger siblings want kids. And so I want to be just like the fun aunt. And I think that'll be fulfilling enough for me. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. I've never understood the desire to not have kids more than since having a kid. I know. And I love my daughter. Like I want more kids. I like love being a mom. I wouldn't trade it for the world. But now having a baby, I'm like, oh, yeah, not for everyone. You don't want one. Don't have one. It's not for everyone. And I don't think it should be like a lukewarm decision. You know, I think like I want, if I want kids, I want to be full force into it. I just don't feel that way. Yeah. It's fine. Yeah. Would you date somebody with kids? Yeah. I kind of prefer that, actually. Yeah. Just because they know the struggle. Yeah. Yeah. You know, someone that's never had kids, they don't understand how, you know, the responsibilities they, the pressure you put on yourself, all that crap.

5:05Yeah. And I think, you know, if you're a mother, then you, you totally get it. And you get the balancing of schedules that the kids have to come first. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. How do you go about introducing a partner to your kids? Like how long do we, or do you, um, yeah, it's a good question. It really depends on how much I like to, you know, that's so fair. Yeah. Of course. I mean, I've gone on some dates with someone, you know, some girls that, you know, it's just kind of like for fun. And, you know, I'm not really seeing any, you know, future there. So if I, if I see that there's a potential for a future, then I'll introduce them. Mm-hmm. Yeah, because you have to see how they get along. Have you lived with any women since your divorce? Yeah. Okay. My last girlfriend lived with us. So we're gonna, we're down and look at any gal. So she, she lived with us for about a year, year and a half. Mm-hmm. You know, I like her, you know, I, I'm kind of conflicted on like, why, I broke that off. She's a great girl, you know, um, she just irritated the shit.

6:06You know what I mean? She doesn't know either. I'm kidding. That's the point. That's the point. I hope she's not listening to it. That's it. That's it. How long were you together? It was like, so we were friends first. I mean, to give you the whole breakdown, um, I, I, I'm an alcoholic, I quit drinking four years ago. Okay. And, uh, you know. Congrats. That's amazing. That's huge. Yeah. So righty, four years, that's something to celebrate. Yeah. California sober, you know. Yeah. So, it's a small. No, congrats. So I knew her when I was a, a drinker and she hated my guts. And she, she doesn't drink. Um, and, uh, and we, we just didn't get along when I quit drinking. We just kind of started vibing properly, you know. Yeah. And, um, we started going out and I enjoyed her company. We had a good time and she's, she's really easy going and then, uh, so I'm like, you know, she's also sober. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's great. Okay. And then you guys hit it off. Once you were sober. Yeah. I mean, yeah. We had like some real conversations and we just seemed to connect, you know. Mm-hmm.

7:06She's kind of, uh, you know, uh, she, she has a very good sense of humor. She's really loud and obnoxious. I'm loving her honesty. So part of that, you liked about her but then it was like too much and you were like, you're annoying me. She's like, Jersey, obnoxious, you know, she's from Jersey. Got it. Okay. So it's like, she's really loud and whatever. But, um, I just couldn't, I couldn't stand like, you know, living in that scenario. Okay. So you just got over it. You realized like, yeah. You're annoying me. Yeah. Exactly. I realized that, um, and especially as a parent too, I'm also blame my kids right now for being single. I mean, because you get so freaking tired. Yeah. You know, you don't want to go out. Plus, you enjoy, you know, it's the first time in your life you start enjoying nothing, like sitting, like you could probably appreciate that without the baby crying. Yeah. Sitting in silence. Yeah. You sit in silence like a psycho. I mean, it's, you know, soothing. Yeah. Um, so like, you're not allowing you the silence. Exactly. It's like, you know, yeah, I was on like professional, you know, work mode and then I come home

8:09beyond daddy mode. And then it's just like, I kind of want to break and not like this chaos, you know, got it. Do you typically attract chaotic women? Yeah. I liked them. Crazy girls. Oh. So it's don't seek it out. And then once you get a little too close, it's like, you got to find the right kind of crazy, maybe? Yeah. It's like, you know, I've heard it. Can I lean, when I lean back? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, it's one of those things where, you know, the thing that attracts most is like what you ended up hating about them. I don't know if you ever had that scenario with someone like, you found something like charming or endearing about that person and then it just ultimately ends up like annoying the shit out of you. Yeah. Trying to think of like an example, if that's ever happened to me, like the things that I would initially attracted me to someone made me hate them, maybe like I had, I remember I had a boyfriend in my 20s who would initially attracted me to him was like, oh, we had so much fun going out and like, we lived in New York and we perkyed all the time and eat all these friends and that was really fun. And then as like things went on, I was like, that's what I hate.

9:09This is what I hate. Like, I want to stay home and do nothing. I don't want to like go to the clubs. Like, I don't want to party. Yeah, yeah. For sure. Yeah, that happened. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My boyfriend currently talks into sleeping at first. I like thought it was funny. And now I want to kill him with my bare hands. Yeah. It's not cute anymore. Oh god, no, it's not cute. And he's also really loud. He's from Boston. And like really loud. Well, that'd be weird if he slept talking in a different accent. That would be pretty nice. But I think that'd be kind of impressive. I'd be like, all right, let's see what he has to say. But I like, in the other night, he would get, he got up and sort of clapping and cheering and walking around and as I sleep, he's asleep and not this one. No, rinse out. Yeah. And he'll wake up in the morning like, oh, baby, how do you sleep by yourself so good? And I'm like, oh, I want to murder you that. So at first, I was like, oh, this is so funny. And now it's like sort of horrible. It's really annoying. It's really annoying. Maybe funny one time. Yeah. It'd be funny one time. Yeah. Oh my god. No, it's brutal. It's brutal.

10:10So yeah, I really a little bit. That's, yeah. That one time thing, like she was a queen of that. Like she's really funny. Like the first time, like this is kind of a stupid scenario, but brought up a memory. Like, you know, I walked in front of her and she sticks her finger at my butt. You know? I was walking up the stairs. Yeah, it's like funny for us. Yeah. Like, but it's like every fucking time, like she's talking in the butt. Like five times a fucking day, you know? So it's like, oh, that's funny. Yeah. She does stuff like all the time, like cute. It's like really cute and funny and quirky, but then it's like, all right, it's not funny anymore. Shut up. She take that feedback. Yeah. Did you try? Like, because you seem like if you love her, like workable problems, like just be a little less annoying. Yeah. I gave her some feedback on that. She always just seemed to be like, maybe I should have worked on my tone, but I'd just be like, shut the fuck up. But I wouldn't, you know, not sinister, but like she'd be kind of like, I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'd be like, it's really annoying if you do that.

11:10And then she'd be like, well, you know, you're not so perfect yourself. I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Got it. Yeah. The Bleacher Report app is your destination for sports right now. The NBA's heating up, March Manus is here, and MLB is almost back. Every day there's a new headline, a new highlight, a new moment you've got to see for yourself. That's why I stay locked in with the Bleacher Report app. For me, it's about staying connected to my sports. I could follow the teams I care about, get real-time scores, breaking news, and highlights all in one place. Download the Bleacher Report app today so you never miss a moment. Yeah. Okay. And your other chaotic relationships, they've all been with high intensity women. Yeah. Your ex-wife. Yeah. My ex-wife is nuts. Is nuts. High intensity. Oh, God. I was just such an idiot. You know, I got engaged after dating her for only four months, and I- Were you head over heels like-

12:10Yeah. Like, madly in love, and I was so, you know, she's gorgeous. And this is when you were drinking. Yeah. Yeah. This is when I was drinking. Yeah. And she was like- And was she a drinker too? No. You know what's funny? It's like, all my girlfriends aren't drinkers. Yeah. Is that something you look for? Is that important to you? Not really. I mean- Like, could you date somebody that drinks and is not sober? Yeah. I could. Yeah. That wouldn't be needed. That's a good question. Because I feel like when I say that I don't drink, people feel like they don't can't drink around me. Yeah. And that's not true. I don't care at all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. As opposed to, like, feeling like you have to walk on eggshells. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. I mean, I know there's some alcoholics out there where it's like, you can't have alcohol anywhere near them. Like, to me, it's like, fuck alcohol. Mm-hmm. I'm done with it. I was a happy drunk, you know? So it's like, it wasn't, you know, I have, you know, I don't really have that sore feelings of alcohol. It's not like- Yeah. You think it's the devil. It's just not for you. Yeah. It was just something that happened and what I used to do when I was younger.

13:10Yeah. That's why I feel it. Mm-hmm. It's like, yeah, you could do whatever you want in front of me. It doesn't really faze me. Mm-hmm. That's cool. What a good place to be in with your sobriety, too. I feel like that's a hard place to get, too. Were you always like that, even right when you got sober, you were like, I don't, it's fine if people drink around me, or was there a while where you're like, I need my space. Um, you know what? I, no. I was done. I was, absolutely. I was done six months before I stopped drinking, you know? Okay. Yeah. Like, it wasn't, I didn't even enjoy drinking the past six months of my drinking. Yeah. So when I was done, I was just done. I was like, I'm done with this. I checked myself in to rehab, which is like literally in physical, you know, metaphorically sobering, you know? Yeah. It's like going through that type of a scenario, it's brutal. But yeah, I honestly, like, since then, I'd never really wanted to drink. There are times where I'm like, oh, like right now, like if I had a beer before this, this would probably be not stumbling so much. Yeah. No, no, you're great, yeah.

14:11Thanks. But yeah, it's, yeah. Okay. And so you're past looking in your past like chaotic women, looking in your future, is that something where you're like, no, I know I need the chaos. I just like it. I need to find the right one. Or is like, no, I think I'm, I'm ready to change my ways. Um, sober up. Give up the toxic women or the chaotic. Yeah. I mean, I'm ready to change my ways. And I think a lot of that, you know, trying to be attracted to chaotic women was an alcohol thing probably. Um, so yeah, I, and now that I'm older and I'm a father and more stable and all that, like I would enjoy like the moments of being having a boring moment at the library with someone that I like, you know, I suppose to, you know, party and shut it down the beer. Yeah. Yeah. And beer. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. So how, how have you met women in the past, like did you typically meet women at bars and out and about? Yeah. That was a hard thing. Honestly, when I quit drinking is meeting women.

15:11Yeah. It's all I knew, you know, it's like, you go to a bar, you have a few drinks, you meet someone, you know, and then we would hook up and then you decide if you want to hang out with them. Yeah. You know, it's like, so that was kind of different for me, but um, and the alcohol lubricates you to be able to talk to someone you don't know. Yeah. I think a lot of people even non alcoholics rely on that, like, oh, I need to have a drink to go on a date. Totally. I need to have a drink and to be able to approach women so like, I only meet women at night when I'm out because the alcohol provides that confidence. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. And it helps me more than anything. Yeah. Yeah. It's like just for my own anxiety. Right. Um, but yeah, that, that was different. Um, you know, I mean, to answer your question with the dating websites or was that the question? Or I was asking how you typically met women and it sounded like bars and dating apps. Yeah. It was bars, dating apps. I haven't done the dating apps in like a while, like, I mean, past five years, it was all natural, like organic meeting women.

16:12Okay. Where would you meet them besides bars now that you're sober? Pickleball courts. Nice. Me a pickleball pickup. That's a good spot. Yeah. You guys play pickleball? Yeah. Do you really? Mm-hmm. Well, I haven't a lot. Oh, it's bad. Um, I haven't much since having a baby because she takes up so much time, but before having the baby, I played a lot of pickleball like a few times a week. Nice. Yeah. It's one of the top places I recommend as a way to meet people, so it's such an easy approach. Like, ask what they're doobers, ask if they want to play doubles, ask if they want to join your game. You're looking for a fourth. Like, it's just such an, and there's a good way to get a phone number. Hey, we're always looking at it for a fourth, like, let me get your number and I can text you to play. Yeah. So it's such a nice way. And you get to, like, be outside. You get a little exercise. That's great. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Kind of recommend. Okay. So where else? Pickleball. Yeah. Just where I live, you know, the, all different activities, like, I'm a coach, my girl's soccer

17:13team, you know, like, you know, like, yeah, the other mom's going to be soccer balls. But you know, like, right now when I think about it, it's all, like, all the women that I'm dating in the, is in the pool from Pickleball. Really? Wow. That's where you're like, go to, but is that hard because they don't, don't they know each other? Well, you, I go to different courts. That's about your court over here. Your court. Your court by the beach. You're my pickable, babe over there. Yeah. That's smart. Well, that's amazing. All of your girlfriends are coming from Pickleball. That's incredible. That's fun. But recently, I mean, you know, I've passed couple of years. Yeah. Because, because unfortunately, it's that's kind of like only where I hang out, you know, I don't hang out at bars anymore. So you play a lot of Pickleball. I do. I play like probably four or five times a week. Okay. Amazing. What about the gym? Yeah. So I go to Lifetime gym, which has, have you ever been down there? Not to the one in Newport or Laguna, Nego. Yeah, the one in Laguna.

18:13So actually, I hang out there a lot. Super nice. Yeah. It's really nice. I mean, going back to like the initial, you know, my insecurity about dating and having no money, it's like everyone there has fucking money, right? You know, they're all like, you know, high rollers. Yeah. So I'm like, I don't know, I kind of, you know, it's. What do you, what do you feel like you're uncomfortable or like insecure about with the money? Because obviously you have worked in the same industry for 20 years, you have a house, like you have your supporting two kids. Do you feel like expectations of women are higher than what you bring to the table? Yeah. I mean, is that feedback you've gotten or is that something you're telling yourself? I mean, I did. Yeah. I did. I was vibing pretty good with this one Pickleball gal. And like we started, and like we even went out, we know the date and the day went well, and like we're just talking about like, you know, like what we do for a living. And then, you know, just kind of like the energy left the room. I'm like, oh, fuck, and she didn't match. She's like, I need someone to be, you know, financially stable and in charge of their

19:16own finances and like this and that. But did you give the impression that you weren't? Yeah, because my problem is my, so it's like, you know, I make good money. It's just my overheads too high. You know, it's like my, I have a two-bedroom apartment in the Orange Cat in Laguna that I pay for myself, you know, which is a pain in the ass, you know. Well, you are a 47-year-old man. Yeah. Can you pay for yourself? Well, just pay for it. I mean, but it's like a two-bedroom apartment, which is super high, you know, so it's like, I make good money. It's just, it's just kind of, most of it goes out and it's sort of, you know, like if I could share the bedroom, you know, share the apartment, you know, that would be a different story. You know, if I didn't have to do all that, then, you know, it's like, because I'm also used to, you know, before, when I was married and whatnot, like I'm used to, hey, let's go to Mexico, you know, let's go to the Bahamas or some shit, and it's like, we would have the money to do that, you know, because I was sharing my life with someone. Yeah.

20:17Combined and coming. Yeah. So to me, when I'm thinking about like, you know, I start dating a new girl, you know, I like to do like fun spontaneous things, trips and stuff like that, which I can't do at the moment. Yeah. So in my experience, like, yes, there are going to be women who only want to date men who are at a certain financial level, and there might be some women who you don't meet that level for and like, that's, they're just not a fit for you. But most women, assuming you have your shit together, you're, you have a car that, you know, isn't getting like turned off or repossessed, you have a house over your head, you're supporting your daughters, you're supporting yourself, you're gainfully employed, it's more about how you talk about it and how you feel about it than the exact number in your bank account. Yeah. So even like, coming in here, when I asked you what you did, it was kind of like, oh, like I work in packaging, it's not that exciting, like that was your underlying emotion behind talking about what you did, as opposed to like, I've worked in packaging for 20 years. You know, the, the rap you see at the grocery store, that's me, that's what I've been doing,

21:18you know, and being confident in it and confident in what you bring to the table, because I think most women out there who are frustrated with dating and who aren't meeting guys that they like, it's, it's not that, oh, these guys are all like, they're too poor for me. It's like, they aren't showing up, they aren't confident, like they aren't doing what they say they're going to do, they aren't kind to me. And as long as you're doing those things, the exact number in your bank account matters a lot less. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good point. Yeah. But it is how you talk about it. Yeah. I could see that for sure. Yeah. Do you think that like, when you are dating, is that something that you look for in women? Like, do you want them to be sugar mama? Yeah. Or like, yeah. Yeah. I think we all want sugar mama. But I mean, yeah, is that something that's important to you? Like, because I know a lot of women are, you know, not a lot of women, I mean, a lot of women are very like career focused and stuff, which is great. But there are some who want to just be stay at home mom. Like, is that a deal breaker for you or? No, not at all. I

22:18mean, yeah, what they make doesn't make is irrelevant to me. Okay. Yeah. To a point, you know, it's like, now you want to see someone that's passionate about something, you know, and if they're successful financially from doing so, then that's awesome. Yeah. If not, you know, as long as you're doing what they want to do. Yeah. I also feel like you do live in an area that puts more pressure on finances, perhaps. Yeah. Yeah. Or generally, you think of kind of being like, foofie, upbeat, like, people care about the car you drive more and especially at lifetime fitness. Yeah. Hello. Yeah. They're all cared. That's all they care about. I know you're 100% correct. I thought about living someplace else. Yeah. It's kind of also really expensive there. I know. We were thinking about maybe moving, you know, and it's all depend on like my ex-wife got remarried and then we have kids. So we have to deal with that kind of dynamics. So I'd be open to it for sure. Are you from here? I don't know. I can't remember if you said that. Yeah. I grew up

23:23in Irvine, actually. Oh, no. Okay. Yeah. Born and bred. My girl Kayla. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Okay. Yes. We did. Where would you move if you, like, could, like, if nothing was tying you back? You know, like, what I envision is that I want, you know, like a Victorian house. Yeah. Of course. The nice big yard. Yeah. In a big, you know, dog. You move to like Texas. Exactly. We got to our space out in Texas. I know. Yeah. You guys got space out there. Yeah. We might do that. Honestly, like we were talking about maybe Austin, Texas. That's where I live. Austin's queen. You really? Yeah. I live in Austin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Great, great, great. But we don't need more people don't come there. Just kidding. You're welcome. You seem like a good guy, Alan. You bring your family out. Yeah. You have to organize that though with your wife and her husband. Yeah. Wow. So they have to want to move. And then you could move to. Yeah. That means it's tough. You know, he actually, he works in Austin. So he flies back here. And she's the one you can't mention that. So I'm going to move to Austin. I know. That would. Yeah. Yeah.

24:25I could upgrade that to better. I was going to say that to the yard. That's right. Yeah. I know. That could take care of that for sure. And the pool out there is different. I mean, Orange County. I'm not so familiar with Orange County, but I can't imagine it. I imagine it being sort of tight. You know, when it comes to like dating women, especially, I don't know. I'm your age. Like what's your age range? What age do you go for? I would do like 35 to 45. Yeah. You're going on 47. Yeah. Yeah. What's your pickup line? Like you see a cute 40-year-old at Pickleball. What's your. Let them actually do a little role play. Hey, cheer. She's got. She's, you know, practicing her dink at the net. Oh my god. I don't really play Pickleball, but I assume it's how you do it. What's your duper rating? Nice. I don't know. I think it's good, though. It's a nice backhanded ATP. I mean, what do you, that would work. That would work. I mean, oh, shit. I don't know.

25:25Are there pickup lines anymore? I don't have. Or what would you say? What would you say? Like horrible game. When you see a cute lady at Pickleball, like how do you approach her? Sounds like you've been doing it. I'll try to find something to talk to them about, like with something that they're wearing, you know, because like most women out there, they, especially in Laguna, they wear really cute clothing and whatnot. You know, so I know they like. That's a nice tennis skirt. Yeah, I mean, that's a cool skirt. You know, like, it looks like the skirt I wear, you know, I'm skinny. But, you know, I'm not making humor and fusing humor into the situation. Yeah. I don't have a particular line. Can you give me one? I mean, I like keeping it really open. But I like to your duper one line. Like, you could say like, I saw you out there. You got some nice dinks. Or like, you got to get backhand, like you play here all often. And then it's like, oh no, like she laughs, you know, like, if you're depending on how good she is, if you're like kind of being teasy or not. And then, you know, you just start the conversation from there. Yeah. But I like, I like commenting on something situational. I think clothing, it can work, especially if you're being

26:27like joky about the skirt. Like, oh, I got that same one back home, you know, it can also be like a little like why you commenting on her clothes, like depending on the vibe. But I definitely like using situational asking like how often she plays. If like, you know, she wants to play with you guys. If you're looking for a third, asking what her duper rating is, like those are all good questions, relevant to the situation that then gets you talking about something that you're obviously very interested in, something you do often. Good for you to flex. Yeah. I feel like being good at pickleball too is like a great way. You can go on a date that way. You can play together and kind of show off. There's nothing worse than like someone who sucks at pickleball. And then you like do it with a girl and it's like, that's, she doesn't not going to find new sexy if you're really bad at it. Yeah, that would be good. Like if you don't play pickle, don't do a pickleball date. Like that's not gonna be cute. I know I had a girlfriend. Um, and she, we used to play a lot of pickleball. She wasn't sure about this guy. So she's like, uh, I don't really want to do a dinner date. I want to do some like outside social get some steps. I'm just going to invite him to play pickleball with us. And we're no like pickleball stunts.

27:28And she invites this guy to play and he's like, Oh, yeah, like I've played before. He was so bad. Like they bought the game like couldn't even get going because he just like whifted every time, like dropped the ball every time. And he seemed like a perfectly nice guy. But like my friend wanted nothing to do with him and was like, I'm absolutely not seeing that guy again. And I'm like, Oh, yeah, he really shouldn't have agreed to the pickleball first date given he'd like played one time before. Yeah. Why would he agree to do that? He really wanted to meet her. But he should have insisted on something. Yeah. That's so funny. Like doing something your shit. That can be endearing if she already likes you a little bit. But if she doesn't know you and your shit at something, then it's just kind of a turn off. Well, yeah, it's just it's awkward and really shit. I also think like being too good and too competitive is also bad. Like I remember slamming the ball at her. Yeah, I hear like getting mad. I went on a first date with a guy and he was like, let's go play pool. And I was like, okay, I'm not very good at it. But like he's like, oh, no, like it's just a hobby for me. And it clearly wasn't just a hobby for him. And it got so awkward because he would get like mad. I'll be we'd be like maybe conversation again, see each other. But like he would get mad at

28:33my form. Like mid conversation would stop me like that. And I that was so scary. It was. Yeah, I did sleep with him for like two more weeks after that. But that's about it. So that's like about as long as it lasted. But he was less critical in the bedroom. Yeah, yeah, he was fine. But I think there is like a middle ground to like being yeah, fun with it. And yeah, you don't what you've been doing. You don't want to be overly competitive. No, it's very scary. Okay, so you have pickle balls away to meet women. We've got the gem potentially, although we're slightly worried about those girls being too much for money. Yeah. Um, where else? Oh God. In Orange County as a man of 46 going on 47. You asked you where do I meet women? Yeah, where could you let's brainstorm a farmer's market. Farmer's market. We love a good farmer's market. I feel like moms hang out at farmer's markets. That's a good place. Yeah. We said the soccer games. I don't know. PTA. Are you involved in doing that school? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Would you would you date like one of your daughters like

29:35friends mom or is that like a no-no? Yeah, I would. You would. Yeah. Yeah. I'm feeling mine right now. Oh, no. You got some crushes. That's awesome. Um, how do you approach? I guess your girls aren't are old enough where you can't really be like, oh, you guys want to come over for a play day? Yeah, come over. This will have a barbecue at the pool. Yeah. Wait, that's that's a good idea. Yeah. Yeah. I've done that a few times. Yeah. And how's that worked or not? It works. It's just it's kind of hard to have like a date with kids. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you can check the vibe. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And are you on any of the dating apps right now? No. Okay. I, you know, I did that for a while and it just seems like a waste of time. Yeah. Yeah. The only hits I got were like probably, you know, looks wise, probably, sixes, you know, and then they're also pictures from like 2010, 2015. Yeah. That's tough. Which we all do. You know, we should not do that though. We shouldn't, but we all do it. I feel like you could do really well on dating apps with a great

30:38profile. And you got Kayla, who's a dating coach on my team. Shout out Kayla. Great and making profiles. She is your girl for making an A plus dating profile. And I think you would do really well in the mom subset of like 35 to 45. Yeah. Yeah. If you had a great profile, but if you don't have an A plus profile as a man, it is such a waste of time. Well, which is a huge time suck. It's a huge energy suck. It kills your confidence. There's no one's going to match with you. Yeah. You're handsome. You could have a great profile. And I think you would get it'd be just another avenue to meet women. Yeah. Yeah. I should do that. I love Kayla. Help me. Yeah. Do you have any good photos? Look, we can get one of you right now. Oh, yeah. Okay. You're on the podcast. Oh my god. He's so festive to say. Oh, this is good. Oh, cute. Maybe like on the table like this. Like you're leaning forward. I'll do like a professional, you know. Yeah. Yeah. This guy's got interesting things to say. Yeah. We'll talk to him about next time. Okay. We'll think we have one of your six

31:40photos. A complex. Perfect. That plus the pickleball. Yeah. You got to have a pickleball photo. Yeah. Yeah. Pick a ball photo. Photo of you on the beach. Photo of you at a farmer's market. On the beach. Yeah. Yeah. By the beach. I heard working out. It's like a faux pas. Like guys working out. You can't do the workout photo where it's like the mirror selfie of you at the gym. That's the faux pas. That's what looks like. Yeah. The midlet, like the mid deadlift or whatever that is. The squat. You know, like from behind you have somebody do it. That's. Yeah. That's spooky territory. No, spooky territory. Real bicep curls. Yeah. Show me in real life. You know what I'm saying. But. Yeah. You should just be picking up the gourd at the farmer's market. Yeah. Yeah. Get the green of with it. That's right. Pick up a cantaloupe. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. That's actually you got to get your tea with it. Yeah. Yeah. You have to. I believe in you. I think actually I don't and I don't say this because I think for a lot of people dating apps are just like not even worth it. And especially for younger guys. But I think for if you're a little bit older, you are busy. You got your daughters. You got a lot going on. It's a really nice way to meet

32:41more people. Yeah. What about it work? Would you ever date a coworker? Not a my field in packaging. It's like nine five. Yeah. Mostly men. Packaging big man field. Okay. Yeah. And I don't go into an office. So I'm just working from home mostly. Okay. Yeah. But yeah. That's not really a good pool to pick from. Dang it. Yeah. What you're going to first day. You know, so it used to be that's it grabs some drinks. You know. Yeah. Of course. And that's that's what I did the past. I did that the past two or three times. But drink maybe yeah. Where they have drinks. But I still think like it's it makes them uncomfortable. So I'm I mean, I need to I need a new first day. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Let's brainstorm. Well, I feel okay. I think like why drinks works is because it's usually at night. It's a sexy environment. The lights are lower. So it feels more romantic than like let's get a coffee where it feels can feel more like a business meeting. So I think the key is just picking some place that also has mocktails or and not like don't get a water if you take a girl to a bar like get it in a beer.

33:44Yeah. And you can say, you know, like, I don't drink anymore but all my friends do and I don't have a problem with it. So order whatever you want. I'm going to get the mocktail that I really like here. Yeah. That's a good idea. I did that. You know, I actually enjoyed this one day with the other pickleball girl who I didn't make my money for. Right. We went to a pretty cool place. It was like a speakeasy in the Guna Beach. I like to do like active stuff too. Well pickleball girl, you could totally play pickleball with too. Yeah. But this place was cool because it had like we were playing scrabble. They have like board games and stuff. I like that. And a little game night. Yeah. Like a lot of bars that have that. No. Yeah. It keeps me entertained. You know, it's like, you know, without drinking. I like to do something or like playing pool. That'd be a good first day. Yeah. Pool is a great first day. Yeah. If you're not too, if you're not freaked like that. But yeah. Watching back. Yeah. I know Jesus. I felt like so judge. But

34:45yeah, pool is great. Something active with dim lighting. I'd say yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you and this might be crossing line. But do you go to meetings at all? Like would you ever meet somebody at a meeting? No. I went to a meeting. I went in the beginning when I first quit. I went. I probably should go. I mean, it's it's only helpful for like, it's not helpful for everybody. So I just didn't know if that was a part of your schedule. And that would be like another place to meet people that have like. Are you not supposed to do that though? I don't know. Are you not supposed to date people? You're not supposed to date. But I feel like people. Oh, your sponsor. Okay. I think somebody else who's there. You can, but it's kind of frowned upon. Got it. Well, you're like, well, it's going to be one. It's so bright. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we're both doing sober. Like we got this. I know. Yeah. It can be scary. But it's also something where you both have like this kind of thing. And you can find things to do together that aren't, you know, around drinking. Yeah. I mean, I don't know.

35:48I thought like, yeah, I mean, the problem is I just don't really 100%, you know, subscribe to the AA model. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. For me, AA is all about like drinking. You know, it's like, all they think about is drinking. You wake up thinking about not drinking. All day long, you know, yeah. And for you, that's for me, it's just fucking in the mountain. Yeah. It's not relatable. Yeah. So it's like, but it is a good place to meet, you know, because we've gone through the same struggle. So it makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. You want to do the same things that involve drinking. Yeah. I'm singing that would be good app. You should get on. I mean, not that you, I know you don't have a drinking problem, but like, I was singing about doing like a sober adventure app. Oh, that's awesome. You know, people who, I feel like the stadiums where everything is, they're not a sober dating app. I wouldn't even be surprised. They're probably. Yeah. I think they're probably. If there's not, somebody's got to get on that. That is a huge, that's a really good idea. But I'm thinking like, like a tour app, like a tour thing, like where you go, like, go to Greece, you know, on everyone's sober. Oh, I think that must exist too. That probably is. That's two trips. I can imagine

36:53everybody doing this. Yeah. That'd be a great cause it would be, I like to still do stuff. So be fun to like, you know, we could go parachuting or we should go rock climbing for sober people. That's a really good idea. I know there was like an LA based group kind of like that on Instagram, where like they do a lot of them are into like stargazing stuff. So they'll do like on a new moon or something. They'll go do a hike in the old like take pictures. But I don't think it's I don't know if it's a sober, but it's just like a group of people that get together and do things like that or they'll do like a beach cleanup together. And it's just kind of random stuff that isn't necessarily like going out and getting fucked up. Yeah. So they're, I feel like there's got to be like at least an Instagram group in Orange County. Maybe we'll do some research. Honestly, I haven't looked that hard. It's time for me to stop. To get out there. And well, I think a lot of it sounds like it's just you not feeling confident enough to put yourself out there at this moment. Yeah.

37:53I'd say that's probably correct. I feel like we have some good places for you to meet women. Yeah. How do you feel you typically do on dates? We know you need to improve your talk tracks around your work. Yeah. Okay. Speaking about it positively and in like a way that makes you feel confident, you seem confident and inspired by what you do. Just like you said, you want a woman who likes what she does and is passionate about something that's like one of the key things women look for also. I'm able to speak to that. Okay. Okay. So we have a plan for where you're going to meet people. Now it's about getting on the dates and performing. How do you feel you typically do on dates? Do you have any problems escalating things with women you like? It's hard for me to know because I mean, since drinking, and I've had girlfriends since I quit drinking, but they're also women that I knew while I drink. Yeah. So do you find out that's hard to because you seem very open and casual about like, hey, I'm not going to get on drink.

38:56Is that something you are concerned about having to share with people? No, not at all. I'm more concerned about just kind of just coming off as a catch. You know, it's a, you know, I am one thing I do pride myself on is I am a good father. So, you know, I'm a total dad, you know. I have all the dad jokes and all that shit too. Yeah. So, you know, maybe if I could accentuate more of that area to convey, and I'm used to like going back to my younger years, I'm used to like going on a date with a mindset of like trying to impress these women. Not necessarily financially, but also kind of like with my gusto and like what I got going. Your charisma. Yeah. Yeah. So, I'm kind of lost a little bit on there, but yeah. Do you have a go-to dad joke? Yeah, give us your best. Shit. Let me think. I mean, there's so many. I know. I mean, what was the crocodiles or saltwater? No, no, no. There's like alligator. Fresh water and one's in saltwater.

40:01Yeah. In the reason why the crocodile, it was the crocodile. The reason why it's in saltwater is because pepper water makes it sneeze. That's why that's pretty good. That's pretty good. That's a total dad joke. That's great. I just, you know, whatever. I like that though. I like, okay, you don't have the same things you had 20 years ago of your bravado, maybe in charisma at the bar and being like the party hype guy. Yeah. And now you have like, I'm the steady dad. I am caring about my daughters. I'm a girl dad. I do what I say I'm going to do. I work hard. I know what I want. I like to be active. I'm fit. Those are all things that you should be really confident in and are the things that women are going to be excited about for you. Yeah. It's interesting because it's like I always felt like who gives a shit like women don't care about that necessarily. I mean, I know I could, I could appreciate them caring about if you're good father or whatnot. Maybe not these like chaotic women that you're pulling into life and like picking in correctly.

41:05Nice, stable, mature, even keel grounded woman that you want to date next. We'll appreciate those there. Yeah. Yeah. And so finding, like I said, the woman who wants the guy with the fanciest car and wants the guy who's going to take her on a flashy vacation, she's not for you. But just it's not going to work out. Yeah. And she probably also doesn't have the qualities that I just mentioned that you want either, you know, if that's what she's after. Yeah. I mean, honestly, in that, I find that unattractive in a woman. Yeah. It's like, so it's that's not what I'm looking for either. Yeah. And that's, you know, they're looking for a sugar day. That's awesome. Good for them. Yeah. That's not what I'm looking for. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Also, the idea of going on trips, like there are a lot of group trips, like I don't know about sobriety, but for singles. And they're oftentimes designated by age groups. It's like, oh, I can go on a group with single parents or 35 to 45 year old other people. And that could be a good way to meet someone as

42:11well. Yeah. Yeah. Although the long distance is tough when you have kids, because it's like, you can't relocate and they can't. So. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I need to think about that. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like those groups, it's kind of like nationwide people. How? Okay. So if you're on a first date, right? And you've, you know, like the chemistry's not there or like you're just not feeling it. How do you handle that? Do you handle that? Do you just keep going with the day or do you kind of cut it short? Like what's your sort of go-to move? I'm very curious. Yeah. Yeah. Because you seem like a guy that doesn't want to waste any of your time. So it's kind of like. Yeah. I mean, I try to, you know, I add a respect. I'll, you know, I'll make it last at least an hour, you know? Okay. But again, I also get myself in first dates. I'll do, I'll say a couple of drinks. So, you're not just not a time limit. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a smart move because it's so daunting sometimes like committing to like a full dinner or like a full and a short. Yeah. Yeah. Plan a short date first because like you don't know. I mean, at least if you're meeting women in person, you have an idea of who they are. That's very true. So it's like hopefully you're okay

43:13spending an hour with them because you've already had a conversation. You've already know they look like what they, you think they look like as opposed to a dating amp where you're like. Yeah. Who's going to show up? Are we going to have anything in common? Yeah. Do you want to get married again? I'd be open to it. Yeah. Yeah. But is it like something that you're really, really wanting or is it kind of just like if it makes sense for me? If it makes sense for me. Yeah. Probably. Yeah. I mean, I would, I would, I'm not opposed to it. Yeah. I think my marriage didn't work out just because of the woman, not because of the marriage. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But it's not like my ultimate goal. Sure. I don't understand why you have to get the government involved, honestly. I would do like a Kurt Douglas, you know, Goldie Han deal. You know, do you know this? I know. Kurt Russell. And what? They just worked together a long time. They've been together for like 45 years, but not married. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. I know very successful couples. I feel like the reason they get the government involved is so like if you become a vegetable, like the person has the ability to like. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Yeah.

44:15Like do what needs to be done. So you're not just like left up to the hospital to decide. That's a good one. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. It's worth it. I don't know. I'm gone there yet. You guys like that. You have kids too. So you have someone to take care of. Yeah. Yeah. You've got kids. Yeah. You're taking care of for sure. What's the youngest woman you would date? Um, probably 30. I mean, I mean, I don't know. What am I going to do with the 25 year old like checkered or TikTok videos? That's like, that's a good point. Talks get mistaken for her dad. Yeah. I'll like mention like, you know, a Led Zeppler, like, what the fuck are you? Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, that's so funny. Yeah. Like 30s, 30. Yeah. I think there could be some women out there watching this who. Yeah, chime in ladies. Yeah. And you're a catch. Oh, completely. Yeah. There's a, there's a girl out there for you. For sure. We just got to find her. We got to find like a cool hot pickable lady. Yeah. Cool hot pickable ladies chime in.

45:16Yeah. The one in travel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. With kids who like traveling. Wouldn't mind if she had a good job with makes a lot of money. Hey. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. That's always a close. We're opening to it. Yeah. Okay. That'd be good. Yeah. You're so close. I feel like I got a good feeling for you. I think it's about putting yourself out there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And make confident what you bring to the table. Totally. It's confidence. Yeah. I think that's really it. Yeah. Because that's going to help you be, if you get gain confidence and feel confident what you bring to the table, it's going to help you approach more women because you're going to feel good about yourself. It's going to help you on dates with marketing yourself. And women are astute readers of nonverbal communication. Totally. So if you're down on yourself and you're feeling like, oh, she's out of my league or she probably doesn't like me for XYZ reasons, then she's going to pick up on that even if it's from a subconscious place. So you have to come to the date of like, I deserve to be here. I'm here to see if I like her and if there's a vibe, not to see if she likes me, like you need to come

46:17at it with some of that power back. What makes you feel confident? Like a like a good pair of jeez. Like it could be anything. Like what makes you feel good? What makes you feel weird? Yeah. A few viewers. A couple tequila shots. Yeah. God. Yeah. I mean, you know, I'm for the most part, I'm I would say I'm confident. I'm just insecure at the moment because of the money situation. Totally. Yeah. Is there anything you can do there? Like would you consider a different career path or a promotion to change that to gain not that you need that to be confident necessarily? Yeah. I'd be open to it for sure. But the thing is again, it's like I make good money right now. So I'm kind of like stuck in this position. Yeah. Because it it's offering me the most money, but it's also it's also very volatile. Like it's hard to like keep these these jobs that I have for a while. Yeah. I mean, a move could be fun. Yeah. I was open to it for sure. Yeah. Like money. We should put a good word in with your ex-wife. Yeah. Yeah. We think it's time. Yeah.

47:18For your dating. The sake of Alan's dating. Like the entire family is going to move. Relocate to date. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. We need a new dating pool. Yeah. I've never been to Austin either. I heard it's awesome. It is. It is so awesome. There's so much live music. There's comedy. There's outdoor stuff to do. There's no beach. You're going to lose the beach. But you know, it's really hot in the summer. So that's when you come back to California in the summertime. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. My parents live down there. So I could still come back. Yeah. Yeah. Stay with them. Easy peasy. Totally. Big. Yeah. You mentioned a dog too. Like a big dog time. Big dog town. Yeah. And how tall are you? Excuse me. Uh, five, ten. Okay. So you can get some cowboy boots and then you'll be six feet. Yeah. So we can open up the dating pool by saying you're taller on apps. Yeah. Perfect. That's right. I don't know. Um, but you find like go line dancing on a first date. That might be cool. That's really fun. That's a popular first date. Yeah. Austin. Yeah. Whole new world down there. So fun. You sound like cowboy hat.

48:19You'll be six five when we're done with the oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. That's awesome. Well, Ellen, I feel like we have, we've got some good, we've got some good advice on the table. I think it's a matter of you putting it into practice. And you know, like I said, you bring so much. There's plenty of women out there who maybe who are watching who are going to be excited. Um, so we'll tell them to get in touch and page. Thank you so much for your valuable advice. Welcome people. Find you. Thank you. Um, Instagram at page A Gallagher. Um, and TikTok at Pigalli. That's where you can find me. Amazing. And thank you so much for your wise words. Oh my god. Thank you. I have a podcast as well. Thank you very much. Um, called what a trip with page and care. Oh, I do it with my, my comic friend Caroline Deere. You can find us on Apple Music, Spotify, all the things YouTube. Yeah. Check her out. Nice. Thank you to you both. Thank you. Thank you.