How to Experience Authentic Community, Part 1

0:00Today on Living on the Edge, with Chipping Room, someone has said the greatest social disease in America today is loneliness. We all long to be deeply connected, and I want you to know that God has a plan for developing genuine, beautiful, intimate relationships, and he wants you to experience that kind of connection with others. Today, we're going to talk about how you can experience authentic community right now, right where you live. Stay with us. Why do so many sincere, Bible reading, God-loving Christians still feel spiritually stuck? Well, today on Living on the Edge, Chipping Room tackles that very question, revealing the surprising answer, community. It's not about trying harder or doing more. According to Scripture, transformation requires a very specific environment, and most of us

1:03have never truly experienced it. In today's message from his series, God's Dream for Your Life, Chipped takes us into Romans chapter 12 to show us what authentic community really looks like, and how to get it. Chipped title today's message, how to experience authentic community. Because you ever wonder why so many Christians get spiritually stuck. I mean, the Bible is very, very clear. It says, if any man, if any woman isn't Christ, the old things pass away, behold, all things become new. And yet, you know, you meet people, and I mean sincere, good. I don't mean slackards. I mean, people that really love God, they've seen transformation in some very significant areas, and they're even in the Bible on a regular basis, and they really want to grow, and yet they hit a ceiling, and then they just feel stuck. But as you see on your notes, part of the answer is that the greatest seed in the greatest

2:04soil cannot grow in the wrong environment. Notice in your notes, a little biblical background here, the command of Jesus requires very specific ecosystem or environment. The very last night on the earth, he'd wash their feet, and then he turned to them, and he looked them eye to eye, and he said, I want you. This is the new commandment, to love each other in the same way I've loved you. Sacrificially, authentically, lay down your life for one another, but it requires an environment. Here's what I want you to get. The specific environment or ecosystem in which the seed of God's word in your heart that's honest and good and wants to grow is authentic community. Authentic community. Notice the form that it takes is a small group. I mean, the group could be three people, four people, ten people, but that's just the form, that's the container. Ever, ever confuse just being in a small group with authentic community.

3:11I've been in small groups that there's no authentic community, haven't you? Authentic community is deeper. Authentic community is this environment where people lay down their lives for one another. Authentic community is where you take a group of people and they say, you know what, we're going to change the world and they were around Jesus. Authentic community is living under persecution and hearing God's word and going from house to house to support one another to live it out. In fact, it raises two very important questions. Question number one is what is authentic community and then question number two is how do you get it? And the answer to both those questions is in Romans chapter 12, verses 9 to 13. If you're just new with us, we're going through the chapter in Romans 12. And then verse 1, we learned that what God really wants from all of us is what? He wants us to surrender to Him, all we are, all that we have. In verse 2, we said there's an enemy of our soul. There's a world system that's trying to woo and seduce our heart away from our Savior.

4:12And we're not to be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of our mind to be separate from the world's values. And we looked at verses 3 through 8 and we learned that we're not to think too high or too low but to have a sober self-assessment to know where we fit in the body. And now what he's going to talk about is serving and love. He's going to talk about what kind of relationships are we to have as fellow believers. And if you look at your notes there, in verse 9 you're going to see that authentic community is the real you showing up. Verse 10 is going to say that the real you needs to meet real needs. And then in verse 11 he's going to say the real you needs to meet real needs but for the right reason. And then verses 12 and 13 the real you needs to meet real needs for the right reason and do it in the right way. For some of you you love God, you have a good heart, you're taking in God's word but you're stuck.

5:14There's a ceiling. You have these outbursts of anger and you feel terrible about it. You have issues in your life that you know you don't want and you've told God I'm sorry and you want to change and you've tried hard to change but you still don't see any radical transformation. I'm telling you this moment on this day maybe God's answer to the environment in which some of those things you struggle with so long he can change but it doesn't happen alone. So let's look together. What is authentic community and maybe more importantly how do you get it? First from verse 9 authentic community is the real you, not a projection of yourself. So you can't have authentic community unless the real you shows up. Authentic community he says let love be sincere, hate what is evil, cling to what is good. The two characteristics of the real you showing up is one authenticity and two it's purity.

6:15The word says let love be sincere, circle the word sincere and right above it hypocrisy. Paul is borrowing from the Greek of his day and in the Greek theater of that day they were all male actors. And so if you were a good lesbian you could be able to throw your voice and you could play a male part, a female part, an old person, a young person and that dressed up in different costumes and then there would be a mask that you would wear so you would throw your voice. And Paul takes that word for the mask and that's this word. He says let love be without the mask, without hypocrisy. Let the real you show up. Yes you got to be discerning and you got to be careful of who you share the real you with but he's saying that authentic community isn't just getting in a small group. It's when the real you showing up and you let people see who you are progressively, wisely, discerningly. In fact jotting your notes if you were Acts chapter 5, this is important, I mean this

7:16is beyond important. Some people never experience this their entire Christian life and they can never figure out why they don't experience the transformation power that God has promised us in Scripture. In chapter 4 it gives an example of this very wealthy man who had a piece of property and cypress on this island which is the equivalent of like downtown San Francisco or Manhattan. In that day and so he sells it and he takes the money and he says look I mean I don't know this for sure but you know I got a second home you know this is a piece of property. You take this to meet the needs of the people in the church they're really hurting and I think a buzz happened in the church where wow I mean it was so sacrificial it was so generous and people were like boy I guess this is what it means to love one another and his name was Barnabas and I think Barnabas got this reputation because they started calling the son of encouragement and the story goes on in Acts chapter 5 and jot that down because before your head hits the pillow you ought to read it it's not very long it's very interesting. So there's this young couple I'm guessing they're young maybe they're not young but

8:20Ananias and Sapphira and so they kind of look around and they think wow everyone's talking about Barnabas we wish people would talk about us like that. We sure wish people would think were that generous and loving and kind and so they hatched this plan and the plan is here's what we're going to do we're going to sell this piece of property and we'll get the money and we'll tell people that we we sold it for this much money and like we gave it all away but we'll really keep back the money for us so we'll kind of have our cake you need it too we'll appear generous and loving and sacrificial but we'll still have the major part of the money and so you know he comes and talks to Peter and God reveals to Peter what's going on and Peter says Ananias why have you lied to the Holy Spirit before it was sold it was yours after it was sold it was yours you aren't compelled to give a little or a lot the issues integrity and then right there bam he dies I mean literally drops dead and the young men come and pick him up for what

9:21his hypocrisy the very first sin in the church his hypocrisy and the judgment is death his wife comes a few hours later and I'm I'm thinking Peter is going I sure hope she's not in on this and so he says Safari it's good to see you how's things going hope pretty good how's the kids I'm adding just a little and he says to her so did you sell this piece of land for such and such a price oh yes you know Ananias when you're married to such a generous loving kind amazing husband like I have and we sacrificial have given it all away I'm again reading between the lines and Peter looks at her and I think just with sadness in his heart and said the young men's feet who took away your husband she'll take you away as well bam she dies on the spot and it says a great fear came among the church yeah are you kidding you're listening to Living on the Edge and Chip and Grim will continue today's program in just a minute today's message is part of Chip series God's dream for your life and you can

10:25hear it anytime at LivingOnTheEge.org whether you want to revisit what you've heard today or pass along to a friend this message and hundreds more are available online you'll also find small group resources and opportunities to help you live out God's dream for your life it's all there at LivingOnTheEge.org well now here's Chip now you got to understand can you imagine if you've never read the Bible before and this is your first time through the New Testament and your brand new Christian you're thinking so this is what happens to hypocrites I'm in trouble I mean literally it was like whoa in fact if God was acting in this way I think he was going to make a point see if hypocrisy gets in the mix it's like leaven and bread and spreads and when people aren't authentic the message of Jesus would have been wiped out within a few years and so God wanted to demonstrate how important this was and I often thought later when I was a pastor if if God did

11:33that for like 24 hours in in the church all across America all of us would have to turn in our pastors badges and become morticians probably a lot of us pastors would need other pastors who are doing better than us to bury us but do you get it do you really get that church quote was never ever intended to be a group of people that come to an event and feel like in some way they're doing something morally positive because they come to event and listen to someone talk about God and even sing a few worship songs to him and then file out and live life their own way and not be absolutely connected to one another and have a safe environment where the real you shows up and you know why the real you doesn't show up the same reason the real you doesn't show up in me he says let love be without hypocrisy and then it says cling to what is good good hate what is evil literally the word is abhor what is evil most of us are spending this I wonder if this is wrong

12:34how close can I get to sin without falling in so people in counseling will ask me questions like well is this rating this rating or this rating in this movie is you think it's okay if I can do this or you know we're dating right now and we're doing this this this and this is that really sexual sin or can we or you know we have so much money and I want to know is it the grosser is it the net or is if I can I take a percentage and you know it's always it's kind of like how instead of what's to say cling to what is good the issue isn't how close can I get to sin quote without sinning it's how close can I get to God how pure can I live because when you're pure not perfect pure the real you can show up because you can be honest and you know one of the most powerful and significant experiences you will ever have in your life is being in a small group of people that's really safe that really love you and you really love

13:36them and the real you shows up the real you that's making great progress the real you with the frustrations and hurts and struggles the real you with the real problems and as you bring your struggles you're not judged your loved and the real you that needs help get support and the real you that needs accountability and as we all do an occasional kind of rebuke and you know what what are you thinking you kind of violated our trust by that see that's fundamental part of authentic community and a lot of people never have that and so enormous amounts of energy what we what we end up doing instead of allowing God to transform us the energy is we have to do sin management and so we're spending all this energy trying to either hide or deal with our guilt or deal with our shape or drown it out with food or work or money or shopping or speed and so when the real you shows up that's the beginning of

14:43authentic community but it's beyond that it meets real needs not superficial or convenient ones authentic community doesn't happen when you do a little nice thing or a little nice thing here and it doesn't really cost you very much authentic community happens when the real you shows up notice it says devotion be devoted to one another and brotherly love humility giving preference to one another in honor real needs getting met always involves devotion on our part and humility the word devotion here is strong he's saying you need to be committed to one another and lay your lives down for one another like you would for blood relatives I mean for people that you feel this moral responsibility for and he says be devoted to one another how in brotherly love fellow Delphi that's the word we named a city in Pennsylvania by that it's this commitment of family love of being there for one another of doing whatever it takes I thought I knew what it meant to kind of be devoted and love I was a new Christian and after probably I guess it was about

15:48five six years I'd been coaching for a couple years after school and Trees and I were married and we had two small kids at this time and so I mean I was shocked literally shocked that God called me into vocational ministry I thought I just can't imagine ever him being able to use someone like me and I'm a teacher I'm a basketball coach I can't imagine being a pastor but he made it clear so we went to school and after about a year there built some relationships we stayed in little apartment complex actually it was a huge apartment complex but it was like these apartment here apartment here apartment here apartment here they were little quad things and so you really got to know the people you shared one hallway and I came home after school it was in my first or second year and Trees' eyes were all red I said honey man what is going on you okay she was all I spent all afternoon with Pat you know right across the hall I said well what's going on she goes well her husband left her I said oh you got to be kidding and they've gotten really close they

16:49had little boy the same age as my little boys they were all about five years old and she goes it's worse than that bank accounts are emptied he left her they have a like two or three week old newborn and she has no money and we just prayed and cried I thought wow so you know I'm thinking my heart's really going out to her so I'm thinking it's really spiritual so honey you want to pray for her she goes well actually we did that but I've been thinking about it and we talked over dinner she goes I think we should in two days her rent is due and they're going to kick her out if she doesn't have rent money and I think we should pay for her rent and my portfolio at this point is very easy to keep I can keep it in my head we don't have a savings account because there was no need we had a checking account and I made under a thousand dollars a month on straight commission as I went to school full time so I said honey if we pay for Pat's rent our rent is due in 10 days and the moment we pay for her rent we will have

17:54ten dollars in our checking account she said I know oh you know when you marry above yourself it's really not very good at times you know it's so it was like you know what okay but you know what it was it was being devoted isn't like oh I hope it goes well for her I heard she had cancer you know that family's going through a rough time got a little bit lab a blue no no it's like we're in this together she's family and so you know I'm figuring I'm probably going to have to learn how to be a pastor someday might as well start now and so okay Lord here it is we write the check and by the way it was not noble I think people get this idea that when we take big steps for God yes God most of my really big steps are like yes God you know I don't really want to do this I'm pretty but okay I'm going to claim your promise but my God will supply all my needs according to his riches and glory in Christ Jesus you said they'd do that and the context is giving being generous Philippians 4.19 I'm standing on that passage our rents do no money we have a

18:58three-day grace period first day grace period no money second day grace period no money third day hey yo you know which part of this verse am I misinterpreting or you know what's the deal and that day in the mail that day an envelope came you know business side envelope and in the left hand corner it had a football helmet that was green and yellow and it was from Lombardi Avenue I got a letter from someone from the Green Bay Packers what's like are you you know what is this so I open the letter and the letter says hi Chip I'm sure you don't know me I met you about six years ago or so I was a senior in high school at the time and you taught a Bible study in San Jose and I later went on and played college football and I was the first quarterback taken in the draft and I'm playing for the Green Bay Packers now and when you taught that Bible study all I can tell you I can't really remember what you said but something happened that changed the spiritual trajectory

19:58of my life and I've never forgotten it and I've not thought of you for six years but this is weird out of the blue you came to my mind and I'm supposed to send you this thousand dollars it was just like oh you know what you know what happened I got to experience authentic community this is how God works this is normal he puts people in your life that you have some more time than they have you have money that they don't have you have energy that they don't have you have spiritual gifts that would help them that they don't have and you don't nod and think well I went to church I read the Bible went on a mission strip you think I'm a part of this community and that need is a red light going off on my soul to love them and I will tell you what man we got tight with Pat I mean it was like 20 years later it got a postcard Trisa you know I saw somewhere you and she had them that I know I just want and you know a picture of her and her grown son and the little one and you know our hearts were connected

20:59to Pat why because wherever your treasure is your heart follows it and then I got to see that God also that was the first of many lessons I mean that was I mean that was a like whoo and after that in the last 30 years we've done that scores of times scores of times never knowing for sure how God supply my testimony he always does and what we've experienced is God see at the end of the day you know what most Christians don't know God is real he's not a philosophy he's not a formula he's not a moral code Jesus is a person and he's real and he loves you and he made promises and he wants you to stand on him and you take risks what you're called faith and you love one another and people get love through you and then he supplies when the real you meet real needs through devotion and also through humility because at the end of the day you know what you have to think more of other people than yourself this is living on the edge with Chipping Room

22:05today chip unpacked what it really means to do life together not just showing up to a small group but letting the real you show up meet real needs and experience the kind of transformation that simply cannot happen alone that's the heart of God's dream for your life now if today's message resonated with you we'd love to help you go deeper at livingontheedge.org you'll find small group resources and practical tools built around this very series designed to help you and the people you care about build authentic community what makes living on the edge different is simple chip doesn't just explain what the Bible says he shows you how to live it out all week long and that kind of practical life changing teaching is only possible because of friends like you who believe this mission matters would you consider partnering with us today your monthly gift creates the stability that keeps this program on the air and reaching people across the country and around the world when you sign up you're not just supporting a radio program you're investing in changed

23:10lives and a legacy of biblical discipleship that will outlast all of us to give visit livingontheedge.org or call us at triple eight three three three six zero zero three even easier use our mobile app just click on the heart icon and follow the instructions well now here's chip you know as we wrap up today's program I guess the question I have for you is that if a non-Christian overheard you talking with sort of at the next table at a coffee shop and heard you kind of talking with a friend would they hear you talking about other people or would they hear you talking about information would it be just sports or or what's on sale or would they kind of ease drop and think wow I wish I had a relationship with someone that was that deep that real that vulnerable and that authentic if you don't have close friends then you need to launch a small group or if your family

24:11doesn't have these kind of relationships and don't get me wrong I know it's hard you gotta go there because at the end of the day relationships are what matter and deep relationships that matter can't happen without authenticity and you need to be wise about who you do it with but it'll be the greatest thing that ever happens because when the real you shows up and the real you gets loved it's awesome and that's God's plan I'm Dave Drury with a final question are you serving God or just serving your image join chip ingram and discover what it really means to love people the way Jesus did tomorrow on living on the edge today's program is produced and sponsored by Living on the Edge