how to 10x your life

We're leaving today and entering a world of Mickey Mouse waving,

princess meeting and greetings.

Lightsaber clashing!

The boylight's on tower of terror dropping!

Banshee flying!

Space Mountain launching!

Galaxy rewinding! What's the one that looks galaxy rewinding?

Fireworks igniting!

World of other worlds, for whatever you love.

Infinite worlds await at the most magical place on earth

Walt Disney World Resort.

Spring starts at the Home Depot,

and we are bringing the heat to your backyard this season.

Fire up the flavor with our wide variety of grills for under $300,

like the next grill for Burner Gas Grill

that's perfect for hosting your spring cookout.

Then set the scene and turn your outdoor space into the go-to spot

the patio sets for every budget.

Bring it this season with grills that deliver flavor and

patios that set the vibe from the Home Depot.

Start your spring with low prices guaranteed at the Home Depot,

which is a Plycy Home Depot dot com slash price match for details.

Go in!

Let it!

Hey, date!

Hey, date!

Hey, date! We got...

We got Emily Binder on the ones in two.

And you got a new skin.

I did get a new skin.

What?

Got it.

Your impression of Andrew is off the charts.

You got his awesome.

You've been hiding that for months?

You've had that in your back pocket this whole...

That was like... I feel like he's here.

Emily, how are you?

I'm so good.

How are you?

I'm so happy to be here.

I'm happy you're here, too.

I like mixing it up every once in a while.

It brings a new energy into the room.

Yeah, I bet you probably feel the same way, too.

Oh, yeah. It's really nice to have two lovely men who know what to talk about.

I wouldn't give us too much.

Don't...

And aren't that mean?

You're gonna jinx us.

Aren't that mean to me?

I think we are pretty nice to you all things considered.

And I think you're very nice to us.

All things considered.

What is that?

I meant like given the context of your normal duo,

I feel like we could...

We'd have to go that.

Oh, I feel like we'd have to go out of our way to like...

When you say all things considered, that sounds like...

Yeah, it sounded like we were like...

For how brutal you are.

Yeah.

I think he meant that...

It would be really hard to be on that level.

We'd have to really put in a lot of work.

I don't think we're capable of matching that.

Well, I'm happy about that.

Well, it's like a competition that I will get.

Yeah, if there's like something on the line,

we could definitely turn up the heat.

Do you guys want to hear about my weekend?

I would love nothing more.

You know, I'm like all in on golf.

Like, I've just all I've been doing is golfing.

And that's where all my money's going.

Munry.

Munry for your business.

My friend Foody, who I've been golfing with a lot lately,

went down to the Scotty Cameron Gallery,

which is a putter.

He's like the best putter maker in my opinion.

And most people's opinion.

And he has a gallery in San Diego,

where you can go and get like custom shit

and stuff you can only get there.

And then you're kind of in his circle.

We're like a year from then,

you can start buying like tour putters and shit.

It's cool, whatever.

I had the plan to go there on Saturday,

regardless of what happened on Friday night.

But...

After the bars, there were some people at my house.

And I had gone to bed early.

Well, they were still kind of out playing fishbowl.

And I came out to get a glass of water.

And apparently my penis and balls were just completely out of my boxers.

You know how I've been saying like my flies have been drying?

I came in like the way where they're like open.

I had come out just like half asleep.

I had been asleep for like an hour.

And my penis and balls were completely out of my boxers.

And...

And balls?

Penis and balls.

Is the way...

Is the way my friend described it to me.

And I was still up.

I can't...

I don't really remember this.

I don't know.

Were you black out?

No, I was just like half asleep.

Okay.

I was pretty drunk too.

But I just came out...

Slip shaft, slip sack.

Just fucking...

Crop dusted people.

Thank God everyone was like...

Crop dusted.

You farted?

No, I'd visually cro...

I don't know.

The good news is no one really remembers it.

They like know that there was some sort of thing.

Everyone was hammered.

Okay.

So I kind of got off scot-free.

But we were laughing about the idea of like...

Because I woke up at 9am and just drove to San Diego.

So I was like the thought of like...

Everyone waking up after I had flashed them

my penis and balls and being like,

if you need me for the rest of the day,

I will be in San Diego.

I'm getting out of town.

I'm getting out of dodge for a little bit

until this cools down.

That's...

Who were the people?

My roommate, his girlfriend,

my other roommate.

And then there like two friends

and

Fland and then our friend, Gillian.

So there were like several way...

We were like multiple eyes on my ding-dong and gonads.

Yeah.

And it's kind of a guy's dream.

I mean, here's the deal.

I got nothing to be ashamed of.

I've become very body-positive and...

Really?

Nope.

Wait, just like snotted a little bit.

God, I'm going...

Fucking sicko mode right now.

You're going nuts, man.

It's your birthday.

And so yeah, everyone saw my whew is.

What'd you say?

Jack, it's your birthday?

No, I don't know why he said that.

You got birthday.

You got fucking...

It's kind of hot in here.

I know, I like it.

It's so cold out there.

Oh, really?

It's kind of extreme.

Do you want it to be colder?

A little bit.

I'll turn the air on.

Can you put it a little bit?

It just feels stuffy.

It may be a little bit air.

It does, it does.

Okay.

But yeah, just the idea...

The idea of

walking out, showing everyone pubes...

pubes maybe even a little bit of Gooch.

There's no way you were showing Gooch.

If you were flashing Gooch,

that would...

Can you imagine you walk by your flies open and they're like,

all right, like mistakes happen.

And then I'm wearing like,

ass-less underwear.

Or your flies on them,

but they're also on backwards.

You bend over and just show whole Gooch.

I was like, oh!

Oh my God.

Jesus, fuck.

Oh my God.

But I, yeah, I'm...

Yeah.

You got the hell out of Dodge.

Did you get a new putter?

I got a new putter.

Nice.

I got a Scotty Cameron Catalina Modo

with the black paddle grip

and a custom paint fill.

How much is that cost?

Do you want me to be honest?

Yeah.

Do you...

Can I guess?

Yeah.

Or do you want me to include the shirt

and pull over I also got?

Sure, but I kind of want to know

the standalone price of the club.

Guess.

I'm going to guess high because I think

it's like $300.

Is that low?

Brother.

That if the stock version,

I'm not proud of this for that.

I don't want this to come up raggy,

but you have it.

Thousands.

It's over a thousand.

It was like $12.50.

The putter?

Yeah.

Is it...

It's got aim point?

That's like a...

That's like a...

Wait, is it?

Oh my God.

So, yeah, it's...

You better be making your putt.

Dude, I was...

The pressure's on.

I was rolling it on Saturday morning.

We went out...

That's good.

Yeah, and Z and I...

I gave Z a stroke a hole.

And where it's a par-three course,

where it's like, you've got to be like dialed in.

Because it's only like so much damage.

Yeah.

You could do.

If I had a putt from the parking lot,

it would have gone in.

I was on fire.

With the new putter.

Yeah.

Worth it.

Yeah.

And here's the fun...

Yeah, the fun part is like...

I'm just loving to move on.

I'm going to go high and say $300.

The one I was playing before that

is a stock Scotty Cameron.

And those are...

Yeah, around like $300.

More.

But they...

Yeah, like a year from now,

I can start buying circle T-putters,

which are tore only.

And the...

You have to prove to them you're not reselling them.

So like the putter I just bought,

I could resell for like double.

But then I am on their shit list.

Because when I go back a year from now,

I have to like bring this one

to prove I'm not like some little skimmer.

Got it.

Wait, so I could just go get one and resell them, really?

Just double on it.

Yeah, but you just do...

Yeah, but you could like...

They'd probably never let you do it again.

So it's fun.

Yeah, yeah.

You could do it like once and make like a thousand bucks probably.

I would say two and a half hours dents and need this.

Yeah.

And then...

And I would recommend going

after a night where you have not flashed anyone

because my...

The whole time I was just like...

Fuck you.

To myself?

Like I hate you.

I hate you so much.

You're thinking about it the entire time.

Literally, I was talking to myself.

Because you don't even get it together.

Like the only way to get through the anxiety

of drinking is to see everyone you're with

and have them all be fine.

Have them be like, not dude, it was a non-issue.

Yeah.

I also think I overshot it

Friday night by like...

One beer at the golf place.

Yeah.

And so I was worried that the employees were going to...

I was going to walk in and they were also going to be like,

get the fuck out of here, man.

Did they?

No, no, everyone does.

It was on no one's radars.

How was your weekend?

I had a viral one actually.

Which is pretty nice.

Yeah, no, we got this new project.

We stole a sliding door

from this session room over in that part of the office

and mounted it on the outdoor wall

as like a screen for our projector.

Whoa.

And made...

It's like a hundred inch TV basically on my patio.

Yeah.

I have a question.

Why is that better than just projecting it directly

onto the wall?

Because the wall is like painted and textured.

And this is just...

Did you draped like a...

No, it's just a white sheet of wood basically.

And then we drill...

I'm dealing with most of it.

I don't give them most of it.

Drilled like two hooks into the wall

and then you just rest it on top.

So it's like a...

It's not always there.

We can just put it up on the patio

and then...

Does it cover like your window?

It's...

Yeah, it's above that, but it's like...

Probably even bigger.

It's like a...

Yeah, it's a hundred inch.

Do you have a picture?

Yeah, I do have a picture.

Will you slack it?

Yeah, I'll slack it to Mr. Beer.

Also, did we already talk about that your neighbors

went to college with Flan?

And high school with Lauren.

Whoa.

Isn't that weird?

I don't know if we were like...

They're like girlfriend maxing.

I know.

It's like all they do.

It's kind of nerve-like...

Friendly with all the...

That's like they're fucking...

I don't know if they were like...

Were they in the same grade?

I know Flan knows them, which is interesting.

I think they might...

Is Flan the same age as you?

Grade-wise, yes.

Okay, these girls, I think, are a great younger man.

That implies like she's either super smart or super dumb.

Like I'm like...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or it's just like where they put you.

Like I'm young for my grade, but...

I'm the youngest, I think you can be...

I'm almost the youngest you can be.

And I think Flan's almost the oldest you can be.

Okay.

She's almost a full-year older than me.

Mouth?

Right.

That's what I thought...

Was that karaoke up there?

Jeopardy.

That was Jeopardy and we got Indian food.

Wait, that's a big piece of wood.

Yeah, thank you.

Or wait, what?

That's the end of it.

It looks like if you were to just purchase a project.

The chick you're hucking up with is...

Looks like a TV, honestly.

It does.

That's sick.

It's just a big, sliding door.

That was a big piece of wood stuck against your wall.

There's a...

What?

She...

They can take it down.

We mounted hooks on the bottom, so it's just resting on the hooks.

And then leaning at like a slight angle against the wall.

That's so small.

I will say there's a lot of bounce back light.

Like, you guys are all blue.

Yeah, it was awesome.

And then we watched the town.

Imagine watching the town on that.

Would imagine it's fairly similar.

Like a guy's dream.

Yeah.

Oh my god.

Yeah, reverse engineered TV.

We're watching the town on a 100-inch picture screen beautiful night.

It's a hundred inches?

92.

And you know how I figured it out?

God damn.

I used the Pythagorean theorem.

It was the first time I ever used math.

It was awesome.

Well, it wouldn't be easier to just measure a corner to a corner.

But unless we got like a ladder,

the tape measure would like bend.

Like you couldn't get it to go all the way out, you know.

You were trying to measure it by the time it was already up there.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh yeah, you're right.

We definitely couldn't do it on the ground.

Totally couldn't do it.

There's no way you used...

You probably just used chat GBT.

No, I did it in my head.

Or I did it with my calculator.

Which is not in my head.

But yeah, you know, you just measure one side.

Is that A squared plus B squared?

Yeah, measure one side squared.

Measure the other side squared.

Add them together and square root.

Good for you.

I was proud of myself.

Is that the same as finding the hypotenuse technically?

Like two triangles?

Like couldn't...

Yes.

You're kind of just finding the hypotenuse of like half the TV.

Or is that like a weird way to think about that?

Yeah.

You could, yeah.

No, that's, I think that's exactly it.

Yeah.

That is it.

That is what it is.

Nice.

Okay.

Your reaction and initially made me feel like

I was about to get dunked on.

No, I just got confused.

I just forgot the word hypotenuse.

I don't like that one.

It's like it's the weirdest fucking word.

I, the amount of things that

you know, I learned in high school

that were just ended up probably being a waste of time.

I know this is not a nuanced take on the high school experience.

No, but I first podcasted her ever to be like,

dude, I'm gonna, let's be real.

Like half the stuff we learned in high school.

How come they teach us to do our taxes?

Why didn't they teach us personal fun?

Oh, what was the Jake?

Didn't Jake Paul have like a thing

where he was like...

He's a president.

You didn't teach me how to,

like you never taught me how to buy a roly.

Pull up like Jake Paul.

Jake Paul, uh, teacher sketch.

Jake Paul walks out with cock and balls out.

He drives the San Diego.

Yeah, wait, can we watch just a little bit of this?

Is this a song?

Yeah.

It's, this is Jake Paul's thoughts on...

How many videos or views do you tell?

All right, class.

Not a little, hey.

A little monk.

Wait, can you look how many views it has, Emily?

Can tell me the quadratic formula.

That's nice.

Quadratic formula.

Okay, okay, watch.

Well, that's different.

Mr. Paul.

What's the answer?

Jake Paul, why don't you tell us some shit

that we're actually gonna use in our real lives?

Yeah, why don't you teach us something useful?

Who are you?

I'm a Harvard dropout.

Why don't I teach you class?

Pause it.

Who are you?

That is, that is for, for a second, I was like,

you know what, I'm kind of on the student's side.

Like this teacher is being like kind of a, a dick.

If Lil Tay stood up,

it seems to be all kind of people are age,

and then like a nine-year-old says up,

that's the first time that's kind of a valid response.

Who are you?

Well she's a college or a Harvard dropout, she said.

So that, okay.

All right, let's see what, let's see if Jake Paul has it.

That's all you think?

Yeah, 1,000%.

Look, I think you're in the wrong class, sweetheart.

Why don't you just run along?

Wait, wait, wait wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Yeah, it's all we're doing.

Show the week!

Hey, is that the best she's on?

Yeah

JP look I'm a millionaire, but I use nothing in my life that the teacher taught me. Oh my god. Oh my god

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was there that's what I'm kind of talking about also like what message is he trying to send with us

I think he's I think he's anti-education or I think he's I think he's

Bro-education reform. He needs he thinks this is kind of a commentary. We need education reform

What think about it? If everyone got educated then he wouldn't have any viewers, so it's sort of good

It's just a business

It's a bit by he wants person to find an encouraging education. He will maintain his viewing that is a very good point

I will say

I do wish I do wish I learned how to make my paper stack or buy a rolling cat or buy a Lambo

Cash I still I'm 24 years old. I know I know I know I don't know any fucking I don't even think I'm very close

I don't think I would get even buy one on credit

Let alone cash you know my credit limit per month is $4,400. I could knock it very

I could not I don't understand how that's possible dude

It's I know for a fact you make more running than me in mind is $35,000. I know. It's fun

I just don't think they trust me and I think to their to their credit. I've given them no reason to

I

I am actually that it's it is this weird like paradox where I don't think I will ever be able to fuck my ass to get a credit

Increase because my credit limit is so low and I am so

Spendie that I hit it every month

Which makes and then pay it down, but it doesn't matter, but that would make it go up, wouldn't I?

Think you're only supposed to use like 30% of your thing

So what I'm gonna do is just is just never I'm just gonna put like just subscriptions on my mx and just have to use my debit card until

I'm a better credit score. Why don't you just oh?

You can't just like call the credit card company be like this and be like trust me. How much what's your credit limit?

I don't know

I don't even I didn't even like give like an app you have a mx. Yeah, I check a check. Yeah, check check

I mean also here's the thing

4400s a pretty good level for me because I

Can't really do that much damage obviously I shouldn't be spending that every month, but sure

I can't like it's not like I can go out and do something stupid. Yeah, I mean

I guess in theory I could go out and buy a Lambo cat you can buy a Lambo

You could at least I don't think I can get a Lambo for 35 grand you could definitely put the down payment

You could find some like skis ball who's gonna charge you like

$6,000 a month of interest

I'm probably not gonna buy a Lambo cash. Yeah, I mean here's the deal. I

You know, I'd like to buy a Lambo cash one day. Yeah, but you know kind of a

Can't do I can't make my paper stack and buy a Lambo

Okay, so I don't have to add on a hat like I need to do one before the other. What do you think?

If you could buy a Lambo

Right now, would you?

Wait, that's what we're just doing. I don't I here's my thing. No, I don't think I don't think I would want to drive around

I think I'd be really scared I'd scratch something. I think I'd be really scared. I'd oh

Scared you'd scratch something else because it's so sharp. Yeah, it's so sharp

I'm not worried about the car. That's a sharp car. It's a damn sharp car

I like if you hit you have you hit a guy with your Lambo you look cut him in half

I'm having a bunch of guys. I've been have you watch the Oscars dude

I'm cutting half pretty bad

I watched it. I watched a little bit of the Oscars. I didn't I was at my mom's house and

After we eat we always watch love on the spectrum

And I was like a family tradition. It's a new one because it's there's it's I

Have figured out that it kind of checks everyone's boxes, and it's an easy watch

Kind of a box of checks for you. All right, brother. All right the busty box your mom checks love for the Bob for your mom

checks the spectrum for you

My god, but like what's your credit limit? It is

$12,700 all right. I think mine's ridiculous. I hear I've been thinking about this because I remember when you got your

MX like right at the same time as me and you were like my I think my credit

I'm back then was like $2,000, which is totally good for then and you were like mine's 10 mine's like

$15,000. I was like how was that possible? We have the same job. I know I was like

Pretty good. I had a good credit score like a 700 credit score. I was just got out of like eight. I know you're

Millian, but he I know man my sister's is like perfect

It's clearly not a it's not a how much money you make thing obviously because my sister I'm making my paper stack

A hundred times more than her and she's like an 850 broke ass. I think it's like when you pay off your credit card

And how but I've had one late payment and I was an accident. I wish I could just tell them like that was an accident

What are you doing?

The richest came in like his dick and balls were out man. That's crazy

Our one of our co-workers just walked in with the most amount of blankets I've ever seen

What's the second most amount of blankets you ever seen my mom has this bureau thing?

It's like a coffee table that opens up and it has like all our goaded blankets that like you use when you're sick

Like we have like normal ones that are kind of like for decor and then they were like if it's called a throw

We have a bunch of yeah a bunch of throw blankets. What does that mean? You've ever seen a throw pillow

It's like that in kind of blanket form where it's it's a decade. It's a stack it

Like on the smaller side too. Yeah, like necessarily supposed to like I've been throwbiller. I'm throw pillow maxing

I need to I'm gonna have to start doing like a one-in-one out rule

Because if I buy one more throw pillow for my bed, it's gonna be dude and pneumonia Scott threw one of my pillows out

My roommate just the throw pillow he threw it out

We love said that no I had dirty

I had my cousins here like a few weeks ago, and I had given one of them a pillow to use in the living room

Yeah, and then deal in had when he was moving in he was getting rid of all the stuff he was moving out

Or there was a bunch of stuff in the room that he was getting rid of that was like pillows and sheets and stuff

Okay, so Scott took all those out and he lumped mine in because it was still in the living room

So one of my pillows for my bed. He's got thrown in the damn was it a nice pillow? He was a million. It was a million

It was there when I moved it. I don't know my most of my net worth was tied up in this pillow

Not the case

I think you're both they're both I see valid points on both sides. I'm kind of with Willie that like did you know

There what do you know it's a previous tenant?

Ew

That the previous tenant wasn't like fucking it. They were just like you how do you know actually they could have been like how do you

Was there a tiny little hole and then that was like always kind of stopping what knows a huge hole those stopping what

Here's a question

Sorry

That's not a car. It was fully furnished

Okay, oh, okay, so where do you draw the line was it?

So you're like leasing your for your furniture

Like when you move out you can't take any this so you're gonna have to start from scratch

Yeah, but I remember better credit score than than me, but I am I can I can start a house right now

Wait, but I don't I would rather have what I am because like you get a house

Then it's like you don't know if your stuff's gonna fit in the city. I'd be honest with you

Every every day. I wish I could start from scratch on everything. I want it

I want I want new clothes like I wish I just if someone was like you can liquidate everything you have and start over

I would do it in a heartbeat and get the money for it. I'm guessing get the money and and get to start over with

I just have like I'd say I had buns taste for a while and now I now I

Not that I'm like the epitome of taste. I'm very far from that

But I'd be Gordon Ramsey

Be chef boy RD

Wait, who's the who's the guy

Wolfgang Puck he was at the Oscars. He was this close to having a he could have been a hockey guy

Imagine like like

Like skating up to the skating up to centerize for the opening pace off and you're going against Wolfgang Puck

Yeah, and then it's like he's like he's put here to do ready to drop the puck and then guys like yeah

Boom when he punches him right in the head or something. Yeah, we let's drop the puck. Yeah

Wise guy wise. Hey wise guy. That's how they talking Germany

In Germany isn't he German Wolfgang Puck we met Wolfgang Puck. Yeah, and he looks vague because I was watching the Oscar red carpet and he was there

And I was like, why do I know that guy? I feel like I know that guy that I was always Austrian

Why is he why is that his name? Oh, is that his real name? Yeah

Wolfgang is like a is is a legit name that was I knew it sounds crazy. Yeah, like there are guys and I knew a guy

Who's middle name was Wolfgang? I know a guy whose middle name is

What is your middle name Mark are you are you James fuck are you joining the Wolfgang?

My my initiation to my Wolfgang is today. It's like what are you

Your co-workers crazy

Dude you want to get beers after work is like I have my Wolfgang and I'm meeting with my Wolfgang tonight

We're pointing a new leader of the pack

Okay, there's an episode of Malcolm in the middle where Reese becomes the leader of a dog pack and it's very funny

That sounds fun. I hear there's a question. Yeah, what is Emily's middle name?

Uh, oh, you're gonna Marie find out my middle name rose. I was gonna say rose

But I did it. Good thing. You sounds like wait. We're gonna freak. What is it like?

Lauren some man's name. Is it Lauren? Oh? Yeah

We're she's like it's Flannery. I'm gonna freak out. You're are you freaking? I'm freaking you know she comes home in three days

Are you counting down the seconds? Mm-hmm. I can't wait you're gonna move in with you for a little three weeks

Three weeks. Wow. How are the roomies gonna feel about that one? She's paying. Oh

Oh, that's so nice. Yeah

I'm mixing there original like deal that was like she would like cook every night or something

No, I mean no they didn't they didn't demand that I just with Lauren

I both talked about that we would feel better if she pay she chipped in a little just to make it like so doesn't feel like

She's like intruding. Yeah, it's three. I would say like maybe two weeks would be like okay

That's fine. But three weeks feels like an imposition in their lives. It's all the shared spaces. She's paying three quarters of

No, she's paying a a relatively

Mineric deal. She's getting a good deal. Yeah, but just something like credit check on her

What if she's got like my credit? She's yeah, you would never trust you were a landlord you

I'm just put it out there. You would it is a miracle that anyone is loaning me any money really your credit score is like credit score is bonds

Dude, I don't know what is it's like in the five hundreds really it's like five 90 it would it went back up to

700 and then like something's going I think you know I had that

Yeah, credit thing. I didn't know I closed a credit account. I'm like

Maybe that's why it's kind of a boring story. I had closed a credit account and they actually said I

Had overpaid by $1200 one month

And so they sent me two checks

They accidentally sent two checks refunding me the $1200 and

We cashed them and then

Like for six months they realized they their mistake and we're charging me interest on

This thing and so my credit score was just like going down and we were like what is happening? It was like in freefall

And then so we called them they were like yeah, that's our fault

We'll make it right and they didn't and then

Yeah, I need to I think my my

My theory that uh, I should just

Have a set amount of things like use 30% of it and just only use my debit card until my credit score goes back up is probably the move

Do you you can use mine

Yeah, that'd be great

Do you have automatic payment scheduled yes the full amount

I've never I'm the only time I missed one payment was I thought it was on it was not

And I missed it for like

For it because you immediately get a notification like you're you know

Late on this thing whatever and I immediately paid it

I was like closing an account does cause your credit score to it. Yes. Yeah, that's why one time I accidentally opened a bulk credit card

And uh, how do you accidentally open it before I even had a credit card? I like you know how they fucking sell you on those things

Yeah, I don't want a forever 21 credit card. They were like oh you're you get 20

Join our like membership program

Belk is like uh

It's like a department store

I once opened a gel credit and that was uh it's a department store in the south but anyway they

I

I got like sold. I thought it I was like a naive like 18-year-old and thought it was opening like a

Membership account get 30% off on one t-shirt. I was buying

And well, I mean how much do you say I don't know but I realized it was a credit card

And I was like oh fuck and I moved out like right after so we got mailed to like my old department

So I never even got my hands on the card, which I was always like this could be an issue

But I don't really know how to but then if you close out a credit card like if you open up a credit card

Then immediately close it out. Yeah, that'll hurt my credit. So I just have maybe that's why you have such they you

They gave you such a high credit limit as they were like he's had one for 20 years

He's never spent a single cent on it. Yeah, it's we're not gonna have to worry when I look at my like credits

Where it's like shows that card and like got it but yeah, I don't understand why closing an account

Like it if you're opening a new one. Yeah, it should be it nothing should happen because different cards are different perks

Of course, you're gonna want another one. Why do you need to with this? Yeah

I'm on your side

My card lease is like more expensive than you know what you guys would pay for it because I have better which totally makes sense like I

I'm not questioning the system as a whole. I understand like how these things happen

But wouldn't that do you paid off quicker than dude? I've paid like I paid like majority of it in advance

Oh, I'm just like I think I'm just like not good at I think they just don't trust me. I thought you bought your car

What no that one fucking exploded and so I'd started leasing your car exploded the engine exploded

You didn't hear about this no

Yeah, it was driving my car

And then the I bought it cash and the engine fucking exploded

And so I brought it to this guy and he had it for two weeks

All I know is I had a 35,000 dollar car and then the and then when I when I brought it to this guy

He called me and he's like this is not good

Your cars worth $1,500 now. I was like what really and he was like

Yeah, I'll give you $1,500 for it. I was like I'm gonna ask other people

Because that this feels like that'll be great a great business model

Just tell people the cars are now worth whatever

And so I ended up getting like $3,500 for it, but like the engine was completely shut. I know what you would happen

So you so skidish about buying another car cash were you lost money?

Yeah, I lost $30,000 over night. I mean it's worth it was worth literally like no money

And so I bought a 35,000 dollar car

It I sold it for a $3,000. It might be one of the worst business

Ever made in their life. How long do we have? I had it for a I had it for not enough to I mean

I bought it a couple months into living here and I've had this car. I started leasing this car in July

Because here's the thing

I am

Willing to pay monthly maybe a little bit more there are a lot more

Uh

And not be on the hook for like when this shit like if the fucking engine explodes again

Like I was just like I can't the odds that this happens is low

But uh, I I don't yeah, I don't want to be on that. I am like spooked about owning a car

Cars also just like lose value over time no matter what so buying ones always I did buy mine

Yeah, but then you like so when my lease is up. I have nothing to show for it. I've just paid like you know

Yeah, that's all whatever like there's no winning

There is no way I mean it's there are there are people that will tell you buying a car

Makes a lot more sense. There are people that tell you leasing a car makes more sense and it's kind of just like

Dealer's choice

I've always said getting someone's lease and not having your name on it and just kind of not knowing what will happen if you get pulled over

Yes, the move yes

Yeah, so that's what I'm Scott and I are doing the move the move is to start leasing someone else's car with your roommate

Yes, and but your name's not on the lease your name's not the lease. You kind of just never met them. You just Venmo them

Got does it. I think he does Venmo them maybe so

Yeah, so this is another kind of good piece of advice for people out there

If you are gonna maybe go into leasing a car with your roommate let him handle all of it and just trust that

He's taking care of it. No, but he's smarter than you

Make sure he's smarter than you and he would never betray you and take all your money and not pay for the lease or anything

Well, how would he take all my money aren't you paying? Oh, you think he's yeah, you could pay him

We'll isn't a very specific situation where you have to be he has to be the most trustworthy guy

Yeah, he's like my life partner. Yeah, you you're

There are friendships and then there's whatever you guys have going on

And that is

There's not there's a lot in between there. I feel like I have that with my friend Rick

Yes, you knew like yeah, and she knows every single like she could probably

You out of money like no, no, I'm just busting you but I'm saying like for most people

Yes, I it's a most financial advisors would say what you're doing is reckless. It's a partnership. It's a partnership

It's a domestic partner. Yes, that's enough and I think if we get after a few more years, we might get that in writing

There's there there is probably some

Judge out there that would rule Scott you and Scott are entitled to each other's money like if you like you know

Even if you don't get married if you live with someone long enough

As like a like a life partner. They like the rules of marriage or still I think it's like seven years though

So I think we're we're still a ways also here's the thing like what if like I think that's kind of bullshit like

You should be able to both parties should be able to avoid any like no

I think they're financial responsibility to each other. I think they're no, no, I think there's something you have to do

I think there's like paperwork. You saw the file. Oh, I thought it was just if you like are dating and live with someone and you and you like kind of your finances become intertwined

It's not three weeks wouldn't be enough, right? I didn't don't need to worry about this yet with Lauren

Lauren moves in and like

Somehow as I holds me in three weeks and takes all your

She'll be very disappointed. Yeah, and do you have a lot of money?

No, I saw a reddit thread people guessing how much money we make and that was making me laugh

No one's ever accurate. No

Yeah, I'm getting better at saving but I was really bad about it for almost my entire life until this year so

I know I think you would it people would assume I'm really bad at saving because of

Just kind of my general

Then but I think I'm I think I'm doing a really good job

Do you invest a decent amount of money in the stock market? Yeah, and do you add money in every month?

I have two recurring payments every month and then when I get big brand checks that all goes in there unless I want to buy a putter

That's what my dad makes me do you need to recur the bet for a guy like me

Who will not do it unless like forced to

Two automated recurring payments right the day our paychecks land

Like I never even see the money. That's why yeah, that's why I don't understand how people don't

Automatically pay their taxes like take it out of their paycheck

And then just do their taxes later you

Like just pretend the money's never there

Well, yeah, I think that's like a 1099 versus like W. I don't know

You know, I've been playing the power ball more consistently and remember you oh, okay

You for the record

We have like in writing or in audio recording somewhere that if I ever win you get like $10 million so you should want me

All right, you're right. I do want that happens. This should be there's a guy out there who's just thrown his hat in the ring every day for you

And you don't have to do fucking it. You're right. All right. I take it back. I take it back

What do you mean why what if there was ever gonna be someone that it would happen to and didn't deserve it?

I've never done anything to deserve anything. Yeah, and I've gotten this far

We're how much money is it to play I think it's like a dollar and here's the thing like

I'm already we never have any fucking water at this office. So I go across the street and I get a gallon of water

Is to basically I'm making my water one dollar more expensive and I'm giving myself an opportunity to have life changing amounts of money

And that's what we call girl math. Do you know what they call the power ball? They call it a tax on the dumb

So I'm doing my part where I'm paying your dues

I'm paying my dues because there is like a dumb guy's like oh fuck I have to go by the power. Yeah, it's my tax

I'm paying my fair share

Emily, how's your weekend?

I haven't been giving you an opportunity to talk to you. Wait, you don't have to though. It's your podcast

Oh, I didn't even tell you about my okay, perfect. I didn't tell you about my Saturday

Saturday

I went to Shoops

Had a couple beers they had a five dollar beer deal. It's that place on Main Street where like the tables are outside

The food's own real and they've a candy

European deli place

It's a bar. They sell beer one. Yeah, I mean they close at 4 p.m. But

So I went and just had sat and ate and drank and then I don't know this will be pull this place up

We is in a deli or is it a bar? It's like a European cafe almost. It's like well

It's like I'm still getting you know working back into American life right and so

Yes, this is like what you should have done between Nashville and now or Nashville and Paris. Yeah, it's exactly

But this website is terrible. It's awesome. And the if so the food is great. Yeah

So it's great. I had a a frankfurter with Crout and yeah a couple poliner

Beer's just very German. That's awesome. And then I went to the east side

Really now you can I'm going to the east side and be careful man, and then I try to go be careful

You're turning in one of them. You're one of the bartendants

Tenants of the trees. Yeah

I've heard some I've heard I've read some things online. What have you read? Well, we were

You know, we were doing we were thinking about the rate we are doing that video where we're gonna go to like one star bars

Yeah, that's like one of the worst rated ball even though everyone loves it

It's because there are dicks at the door

Right, apparently they're like like I took it off our list because they're like apparently like transphobic and stuff

So like I was trying to find like shitty bars. I was trying to find shitty bars that like like something that would be on bar

Rescue or whatever not like yeah there because even though we're saying it's a one star bar

We're still giving them like promotion

Sure, and so I was like like there are people on yelp being like they like assaulted my trans friend

And we're like calling people like

So I was like I don't want to give them any fucking published anyway

We tried to get in and they wouldn't they like didn't let us in they thought you were trans they thought I was

They were like there was no one in there. No, but it was just fun

I didn't think I mean we we had been it you know kind of out about drinking all this was like definitely came in like a little hot

But like seemed reasonable, but instead of being like oh, no, we're not gonna let you in because you seem drunk or something

They were just like nope. We're not letting anyone in right now

You can step to the side. We're like oh, okay, so then we step to the side and then we watch like 50 people walk him

Just go where I didn't so we're like wait maybe maybe they just were letting like mega hats

Yeah, we're like we're like maybe they're letting people in for like that minute

So then we went and got back in line and they're like no, we obviously meant you guys can't come in

But they wouldn't it was weird and all our friends apparently had to pay like

$50 each to get in so apparently they like they weren't gonna let our friends and our friends offered money

So anyway, I was

Now I was with two girls so I thought I was insulated. Oh, but I heard that's the place to go on the east side

I know a lot I was interested now. I'm out whatever. I mean I I was like

I just felt like even if they just handled it poorly

Yeah, I mean you know the type of crew my sister runs with and she said they yeah

I think maybe it's like an east first wet is like a sharks and jets thing like that's what it felt like it was like she's like where she's

All of her friends are are gay or trans and yeah, they go all the time

Yeah, I think maybe it's an east like if you're

2.5 stars that is actually insane. That's insane to like have that kind of

I mean these people wait, what does it say it's a what's the bio do you sell from ten

I

I'm willing to accept that I was like definitely a little drunk when I got there, but I

1.9 did not feel like

It was oh, I've been to this place. I know I had a killer time

Maybe they thought I was like mega or something. You know when you might have I've been there

Have you seen these videos of me on the on the that people are making about me on the internet recently on tech talk like mainly

Wait, I think I've been there too. Yeah

um

What like people like people have been making

This one girl made like some like a just like nice kind of complimentary video talking about me or whatever

And you know how now on tiktok there's a like suggest it'll kind of be like what everyone's searching after they watch this. Yeah, Rusty Featherstone Magga

And I'm sitting I'm sitting next to flan my girlfriend

And she's watching this video. I came up on her for you page

And then she clicks the Rusty Featherstone Magga thinking I'm like it's gonna keep suggesting it to people if you click like obvious

You know happens if you click nothing. There's nothing on me about being magga, but no, don't stop googling it

It's gonna make it come up more

But I was like you we've been dating for a year and a half you don't think you

You know what you know there's not gonna be anything

Yeah, she clicked on it. I was like I would be clicking on it too

I would click on it myself, but now I hope you know when you click the search thing on tiktok

And it's like what people that what are watching similar shit are searching. Yeah, there's the two red things

It's what's like the hot thing. Yeah, Rusty Featherstone Magga

Not fucking now they're saying it everyone's gonna. I'm not magga. You're spamming it now

This is an all in the SEO now for this episode so this episode is gonna go viral because everyone's I'm so bummed

I'd rather have it be like Rusty Featherstone

Rusty Featherstone flashes tea

What's tea in the answers? Okay

Guys Lucy is the official pouch partner of all most Friday premium 100% tobacco free nicotine pouches made for true pouch connoisseurs

Lucy pouches and Lucy breakers deliver long lasting flavor for a seriously satisfying pouchic experience

Ily am currently rocking the 8 milligram mint breakers. Yep go with me. It's my favorite. Look Willie's got his own

That is seems to be a little me when I'd say I'm having fuck where me when I say I'm having one Lucy tonight

Look, it's like a fucking huge one. It's like ginormous. I use them for focus for energy to relax

And yeah, I'll say I have them after a few beers. Sue me mother fucker

We have an office vending machine that is does not stay stocked for very long as people are always coming in here grab them wait

Who's there Lucy nice

Lucy is the obvious choice for the true nicotine pouch connoisseur

That's why they're the official nicotine pouch partner of almost Friday

Lucy pouches go up to 12 milligrams in strength and have a unique shape that feels great in your mouth

Lucy breakers are nicotine pouches with an extra surprise each pouch holds a hydrating capsule

They crack with your teeth for an instant burst of long lasting flavor

Every other pouch is the same Lucy breakers are the only ones doing it definitely to give you the longest lasting flavor in pouches

Lucy is now in stores nationwide

You can find a retailer near you at lucy.co slash stores or get lucy delivered to you ASAP on

On apps like door dash and gopuff

And you can always set it and forget it with a monthly subscription delivered to your door from lucy.co

Lucie is the only pouch that delivers long lasting on demand flavor for a store

Find the store at lucy.co slash stores are gonna chip with 20% off your first order

At lucy.co slash play date using code play date and here comes the fine print

Lucie products are only for adults of legal age and every customer is age-parified warning

This product contains nicotine nicotine is an addictive chemical

Let's get back into the episode

I'm gonna keep it a honeyd with you. I'm a busy guy. I've got a lot going on in the week

I've got work. I've got play. I've got meetings. I've got

Hanging out schedules

The first thing that falls through the cracks for me is always food. I'm not good about cooking

And when you fall behind on cooking and you start

Panicking you end up eating worse. Yep. When you get tempo

That's when your life changes all right. They have fresh chef crafted dietician approved meals and they deliver them

Right to your door these things are delicious. We did a

Shoot with them in

December I think and they sent a bunch to the office and I took

Seven home in my backpack the first day and never told anyone

And now I'm confessing over the first time and because they're delicious seriously

They've 20 new recipes every week they're made from nutrient-rich ingredients

And they keep things exciting and help you stay consistent with healthy habits

Maria Sharpo ever heard of her

Swerves by tempo one of the goats of tennis if you will no matter your goals

There's a tempo meal for you protein pack meals up the 30 grams of protein calorie conscious and even

GLP-1 balanced meals it's convenient

But also flexible enough to fit the way that you want to eat for a limited time tempo is offering

My listeners

But and mine and willies

60% off your first box go to tempo meals dot com slash play date that's tempo meals dot com slash play date for 60% off your first box

Tempo meals dot com slash play date rules and restrictions may apply. I remember my first box

Let's get back into the episode now the day we got to get it

Hey

Um, what else happened? What else happened? Let me go to the comedy store

All right yours is way better than mine

Yeah, we just saw random guy cool

Uh

You remember I was talking about that putter I bought already paying dividends because I was at the simulator

And I saw another guy who had a Scotty custom shop head cover and so I went over and was like showing a mine

We're playing off tonight

Where the simulator but he he belongs to

And the first thing he said it was like

If you ever want to play like I can start bringing guests in December

Junior member in December. Yeah, where's the junior member man? Yeah, I think at that point you just say next year or something

Yes, I know what I want to get together in December. All right

Oh, sorry, I remember when Emily was gonna tell about her weekend and I was really hijacked it

Emily, how's your weekend? I thought it was funny, but I what I care you go

Oh, I'm so used to like well in the um

Interrupting me every five seconds. It doesn't always me cool. Tell us about your weekend

We'll give you an honor on an interrupted time to talk about your time feels so refreshing

No, I love them so much, but it's nice lights having a little switch change of pace if you will. Yeah

Um

My weekend was good. I have a friend who's in town. She's here for work. So it's kind of good because she's staying in a hotel and then

You know, I so I get my space, but

I'm showing her all the things

So I took her all the world all the things she wants to do. Um, I took her to Malibu

We went to the beach in Malibu. Is that

Is that as awesome as it seems? No, no, no, I would have ideally liked

To take her to Laguna, but Laguna is the best. Yeah, but it's far away

Exactly, and I was hungover so I didn't know what that yeah also Malibu like the having like the mountains right there on the water is kind of unique

Also the dry like the drive there the PCH is so L.A. Can you just like go

Out onto the beach or I can yeah, but it's not like like when I went to Malibu the gate

The beach was like I had like a gate code because it was like a neighborhood

Like

Might be some private

Because isn't it like they're technically there's not supposed to be any private beaches in California. Yes, but they gonna restrict like access points

Uh

So, but is there can you pull up like the beach you went to I'm curious I like

Don't really go to the beach here because I don't the Venice Beach is like not really my jam. I don't I don't know

Because we're about Will Rogers you're going. Yeah, that's Malibu

Paul will Rogers is it like chill? Yeah, it's like all it's like at the very end of the

Yeah, got it. Okay. I think I'd like to become more of a beach guy

I just feel like I'm not taking advantage of living so close to the beach. You should talk to William

Actually, maybe that's not even Malibu technically I guess, but Angus just goes right outside Willie's house

Oh does he my house is cute. I'll say a good beach if you want to stay in the area is um

The playa

Yeah, playa Del Rey Beach

You guys gotta text me this

Well, that's what I did pottery

Pottery

Pottery

Like right here. Yeah

Did I tell you when we were doing pottery on Valentine's Day we looking out at the marina and like this is such a gorgeous day

And then we're reading the boat names and the boat right in front of us was just the full send

It's like is that like that's kind of awesome. It's like a milk boat. Like did they keep there? Do you think they keep their boat at

But my pottery place? I don't know the odds of that that maybe they could be pot. I don't know

They're kind of pot heads aren't they? Yeah, wait, so Malibu

Is you would have preferred to you like Laguna better? Yeah, Malibu's just now, you know, it's yeah

It's it's not as exciting as you think if you live here. I mean, it's fun to go once and see it if you

Have never been but it's just a

It's a beach whereas Laguna's more like

It looks like you're on vacation

Yeah, I like that little pool like that ocean pool like I just discovered that so cool like two days ago

Oh gorgeous on tiktok and I'm like how have I never it's like Australia? I'll be peeing in that thing

No, what is it you can pee anywhere ocean pool

Like like they had like built a pool, but like the oh, it's like ocean water where it's like you know the salt

pools in like Sydney, Australia

When I was a pool boy, we had a guy

I

Yeah, it's pretty cool. I had just public. Yeah, you have to climb over some rocks apparently to get there. Yeah

And when you go and you can't go during high tide because you'll get stuck. It's pretty cool

Um, but there was a guy who's pool like cleaned that was one of these

I mean, it was like literally like ocean floor was like the floor of the thing like you just built it into this

You just kind of built a barrier like into the cliff on his house and

and

We

We're there to clean the pool

How does that work with the ocean that was like we were like what do you even like want us here?

Like I think he was just making sure that it was like like we would come and make sure that the levels were somewhat normal

But it was like at the end of the day. It's just like ocean water like yeah, we'd go and drop like a nuclear amount of chlorine

And then leave and we're like why wouldn't you just want it to be like

Ocean water. That is weird. It was super strength and it's like the

I mean, there's sand and like rocks it like it is the ocean

So we were like why are you even trying to make this

Something that is not legal to like dump chlorine in the ocean

I mean it was confined like it wasn't like it was spilling up, but he pumped in seawater

So it wasn't like going in and out with the tide

It's hard to say. Yeah, I mean

What's pirate tower? There's a pirate tower. I'm learning so many things about lagoon over here

There's a pirate tower. Do you want to know something that happened to me and laguna Emily? I do

The first time I ever had Taco Bell was in Laguna Beach

Really isn't that a great place to do it if there's one right by the beach right? Yeah, I think I know the exact one

I went there during the fires last year laguna. Yeah, it was really nice to get away or yeah

You know grant card down and tell us was the last one to burn down

Who's that? I don't know that is you don't know you don't know gd

BCD. I feel like I've heard the name. He's like one of those like internet scam artists who's like 10x your life. Oh

And he makes your business your income and life

Yeah, I mean here's the thing he totally did 10x my life when I signed up

Um, I just didn't know I needed to talk 10 times more day. Yeah, it just felt like he was kind of

He was focusing on the wrong things to 10x. He just said pick anything and text at 10x. It doesn't yet doesn't matter. Jack off donuts

Drink jack off donuts. Yeah, it just what is it jack off donut? I just drink 10 times more and and jack off 10 times more

Yeah, it's a win-win to win lose again

Again, most things. It's kind of a win-lose

Um, I would say the fires are a lose-lose. Let me just

Gang of people people do be clip and shit that I said you're gonna get canceled

um

Anyway, what I was curious about that I think about a lot is how there were multiple ginormous wire fires all happening at the same time

And they were like

Not planned by the same like one was arson one was because there was a lot of them

I think it's like an ember can travel pretty far

But then also I think like pyromaniacs. It would be like

It would be like

You know

I think it was because of the win. I was gonna say it is like an ember like we'll travel in the wind

But like the winds were so strong then that any small fire was gonna catch

Oh, so the instigating fire for each one was different, but it was a but also like

Pyromaniacs will start a weather condition because they see one

Like it's like yeah, I think that was it's the like the nacho effect

Like the not did I tell you I was explaining this to my sister's a new lady friend. No

Yeah, I worked at a barbecue place. Hi Astro. I was like, do you ever experience the nacho effect?

Yeah, she's like I guess kind of in hindsight

It might it was kind of niche to our you know about the nacho effect so bad

Barbecue place I worked at we had secret off menu nachos that were fucking awesome

And no one knew about them once one person came in order them everyone would see them get ordered

And we'd be making and they were a bitch to make so we'd be making nachos for the next hour and a half

I think I'm gonna get blood cells after this. What is that? It's the barbecue place on Santa Monica. It's fine

And me. I really don't give a fuck it's

I'm not your fucking I do not give a fuck tell chancey vd. I don't give a fuck

Wait, what does that mean? This is not where you tell all your food. No, I stopped doing that. I forgot man

You don't like don't use AI anymore

This is here's the thing

And I don't want it

I don't like obviously I don't like it when people like rip me a new asshole for things

I do it all but it has turned me into a better guy

I've started I wash my hands a hundred percent of the time now. I really? Yeah, I don't I don't use AI anymore

Rye rarely use it pure pressure works. Should we do drafts? Yeah, all right. I have a this guy rocks first

Okay, you're down. Yeah

This is great. This is a video

That is titled positive immediately and I mean immediately

Third grader who's still learning how to curse this give me a good laugh. Right

Don't give a dick idiot

You think I give a balls

Ha

Ass sack I don't give a dick

That's all just something about like

Yeah dick and balls being the first two dig and balls are hysterical

You see in those videos where people like let their kids say one bad word every year

And they'll all get together and they'll just be like poopy fairy cocks like it'll be like oh my god

Would you be like one on that at a year to plan it? That's what they get lit. Well, I mean

Well, I remember like talking to one of my like kind of straighter-laced friends in fifth grade. He said damn. I was like

Holy fuck like we're doing that now. I was I thought like holy freak. I remember coming over from school once in my

Press you're like how's like

school and I was like oh

It's fine. My new teacher like whatever name is just kind of a prick

And they were like what?

I thought it was I thought that just meant like a stickler

Yeah, yeah, it wasn't even like

Kind of makes sense like a prick. Yeah, it's like a thorn in my side prick's kind of like an old head like what even is yeah

I mean how bad is your like penis? Okay, I mean prick like I think you can say that kind of I don't like a PG-13

Yeah, but I think it's it's so like it's used by such a

Older crowd that I think having your kids say that would be whoa. Yeah, they're all I was like what and I was like what

She's a prick my teacher's kind of a fucking prick

Jesus

Yeah, that's like kind of being like my teacher's a pain in my ass. Yeah, just like why are you like? She's just kind of fucker such like

Such a mature like

Oh my god, that's funny. Oh, nothing worse than this these kids. I used to babysit when I was younger

Uh

One of them said the C word sick

And I said where did you or they actually asked me what it meant

And I said where did you hear that and they said well

Her daddy screamed it cuz I think our mommy fell and he screamed it and

I was like oh, so you're mom you dad like through it. She was like a user probably

Like they they did end up getting a divorce. So I think something was very wrong there. Don't want to speculate

What were their names first and last

Oh my god, and my mom just like pulled up my contact on her phone the other day and the in just the notes that are just available at all times

Like when I call her it shows it is just my full social security number and like she's like

A forgetful enough lady that I like I'm like you

You could leave your phone fucking open or would it like take that off like obviously we

What do you know it shall?

Is that really how it starts? Yeah, but apparently it's location-based like when my dad worked at

Wells Fargo he said he would like he started like

Knowing where someone was from based off of their social security number because they all like start

Or maybe they don't anymore, but like people from Maine would be like

006 sir. Huh. I think what's your what's your social?

Oh

678

All right, true to drafts. Yeah, that's it

Do you guys want to do reggae songs that don't exist first or video games that don't exist first?

Video games. Let's do it

These are video games that don't exist count down to Christmas

It's one month until Christmas day in your Santa Claus

You have to oversee the production of all the presents and then as the final mission

Drop off the gifts at every single house in the world

Before in the morning. How long does it take usually the

Drop the gift well the first part takes a month. It's all in real time, right

And then the final thing is one day, but you have to sit down there for 24 hours and

There's like an alpha volt

Rudolph

Gets run over by a reindeer

The first no well happens. I think it's grandma got through it

Not in this game and then

The first no well happens and then

They you know, they have the first no well, but they never talk about the second or third no well

Also happens in the game and that's a lot more stressful. Yeah, it's kind of like

It's like annoying. It's like Jesus Christ. We have a lot going on right now. What is up with all these no well?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like why are there so many milk made-ins? Yeah

Three they're in the song. It's like it's like 10 maids of milking. Oh, that's a different song. How would that be?

I'm a Google

Milk made Christmas song that's such a weird thing for to be in that

Yeah, uh on the 12 div eight maids of milking

Oh my god, that's like sounds like guy paradise. I can't even imagine eight fucking maids milking you. Oh my god

Oh my god, okay

See dweller

You are part of an alien species that lives deep in the ocean of earth's oceans

You're an aliens you're part of an alien species that live deep in earth's oceans. Would that be alien?

Yeah, you're like on this planet. You're from a different planet. You're from this planet. You're you're here

You're an alien species. We know none of the humans know about and you feed on toenails

And you have to come up at night while everyone's sleeping and like it's like

I think you can only plant PC because it's like super

Precise be it for like get people's toenails and if they catch you you got to break them down in the ocean like reset

They're memory. No, that sucks for the people. Sounds fun. Uh, I don't know what I was thinking

Eco terror

You are a villain in the 21st century who is trying to accelerate the pace of global warming and destroy the planet in as little time as possible

So you have to go around you have to lobby

On behalf of oil companies. You have to burn big deposits of

Uh, carbon, I guess or whatever carbon methane or whatever the fuck fucks up the ecosystem

Uh, you have to get the oceans to rise

It's like the opposite of every you're just trying to destroy the planet as crazy. Can't got it. That seems fun

Love it. Yeah, just like to yeah. Yep. I agree orphanage

Yeah, you're a Victorian era orphan and

Uh, every round starts. It's it's in real time and these parents come in and interview you and you're shot

You're trying to get adopted by the best parents you can, right?

And then the rest of the game is you have to live that entire life and you can't get a shot at like a better family until you've lived

An entire life. I like that. So like you're like all right. This one

I got a middle class family and the next time you want to get like a you know nicer parents whatever you have to live in it

Persons entirely. It's almost not no, that's that's the worst image

It's almost all life after the orphanage. Yeah, but it's all influenced by this early. Yeah

Uh

Cinderella you play a 16 seed in the March Madness tournament and you have to try to win the championship and it is

Incredibly hard and you just the same team every year and you're trying you're always a 16 seed and it's just basically a basketball game

But every other team is so much better than you and uh, you got to try to win it all

I like it um, I got a hat simulator. Oh, did you have more? I want more. Sorry casino

You were the head of a casino and you're trying to spot people on the floor cheating by keeping

Eyes on all the cameras and if you catch a guy cheating you'd like beat the fuck at it. That sounds fun. Hats in you hat simulator

You started a shot. Yeah

You're just along for the ride

That would actually be kind of cool

Just like chilling at the store and then like someone comes in and buys you just I feel like I'd be fun to play high. Yeah

And you can just kind of only oh the only thing you can do is change your viewpoint maybe

No, you can etch you can make them itch. Yeah, you can make them itch. You can blow off their head if it's windy enough that

It's plausible you can fly out there and blow off their head like

All right, you do reggae songs that don't exist. Yeah, first of all half of these games. I would play let's go

No, I'm such a big I'm such a big gamer person and a lot of my games are like very lifestyle. You're a gamer

Not like a not when you say gamer. I don't say gamer. I didn't say or when I say you what

I don't mean like you know your typical video games that you use a controller for although I did play some of those when I was younger with my brother

um, I played a lot of like

I picture like a farmville

That DS game where you were like a dog groomer something. Yeah, I never had a DS

But yes, like I still have so many games on my phone. I really love that stuff. Should we do reggae songs that don't exist?

These are reggae songs that don't exist joint decision

It's about two guys agreeing to buy more weed wasn't there were another one that was joint something

From last time. Yeah for it. Do we do reggae? The only one I can remember was humpen the neighbor

It was fast. I've gotten freaky with your neighbor

Pokemon

It's about a guy who wants to go get pokey with his friend love it

But then they start sort of making little references to Pokemon. Yes, one nugget some Pokemon

Ah, how do you guys think of these things? I don't understand that can't be that

Yeah, I think the way I literally I just don't understand where this

What sector of the brain? I mean for the record. I think these these were two of my worst traps

We've ever done, but it is what we do for a live it is our job

It's like how do you edit apart? I'm just saying you're really creative. Oh, thank you. Thank you

I'm it's mostly alcohol roll pretty drunk when we do these Mary Wanda leave and it's about

A guy asking his his friend Mary if she's ready to leave the party and go smoke and he's like Mary Wanda leave

It was kind of like marijuana leaf. I like that. I thought it was gonna be like he's creeping her out

Seems like Mary Wanda leave

Speaking in like third person. Yeah, I yeah

Uh, they want to leave grass in my ass

It's a guy who wants to butt chug butt for smoking

I was thinking like getting it through TSA like he's like he's like no

He's stirring it. Would you like to butt tross in my ass?

But chugging for weed. It's like a grab bone going up his ass. You have to suck him. Yeah

Uh

bluntly speaking

And it's about a guy who he's like, you know, hitting the blunt and he's just start

He starts being very honest and so he's speaking bluntly

He's not really cutting any corners, but he's letting that blunt talk like that the island getting smaller

This is about a guy who got a little too high and he's convinced the island

He's on is getting smaller and soon he will be completely submerged in water

He's like freaking out losing his fucking the tides coming in

He's forgot about tides

This is a fucking night. Oh my god. Oh, we're so fucked cut or it could be about like it's he's he's being real

And it's about like rising ocean time. He's like the island's literally getting the island getting smaller

Is that a bad accent to do? I was just wondering now when you said it. You're making dude doubt you make it like that

He's like if you don't want us to do your accent it can't be funny

The same way like british is fine british is fair game australian. I mean

There's kind of only a couple that are off limits french

I mean you we all know the ones he can't say you can say australian you can do french you can do english you can do

I mean I would argue you can do south african

What does south african sound like?

Uh, I definitely know it when I hear it. It's like south african

Yeah, like sounds like delko trip on the bobby. That's

australian

It's it's similar in that way. I have a friend from south african that they

The i golf with he's my dad's friend, but I like to say he's my deal

That's okay. I mean out with a south african god. I don't you just have a way open to know was he chiseled

Oh, yeah, I got that so have you do you think you've hooked up with a lot of guys with abs

If you would go with more guys with abs than not abs

um

Cuz i'm gonna be honest. I don't know that many guys like definitely not everyone feels like everyone's

Hoking up with guys with abs except for my girlfriend. I'm like super super chiseled

All right, I'm getting all hard just thinking about it

What what you were what was the question? You're asking us if by abs. We mean super chiseled like the one who's brought this up

You got your work. I'm asking. I'm gonna be no there's alright. I'm genuinely I zoned out

Do you mean like they're that you can see you can see their muscles

Um, I don't know. I'd say it's pretty like 50 50 damn. I'll judge pretty good clip. You got a boyfriend

How have you how's your love life then

Oh, it's not great. Why is that you got any you got you're going steady with any one or fine that

Many guys want to settle down in the city of LA

Interesting. I feel like I know I feel like I most

Of my friends have girlfriends

Right, Emily. I don't know. Maybe I'm picky. I'm a lot of your girlfriends have boyfriends

I would say half of my friend. Damn

You got are you on the apps or you got to meet guys at me guys out of bars. I try or like like

like the grocery store

Like if you have you tried wearing something like

unbelievably

Erotic to the grocery store and like meeting a guy in the in the meat aisle or

Where do you go? Where do you shop?

Like for groceries. Yeah

Depends but like

Whole food throughs. Yeah

Go to your go to the whole foods

Go to the whole food and just stand next to phallic foods and

And we wearing something unbelievably provocative and you'll have a boyfriend by the end of the week

Are you going on a lot of dates? I've been going on some dates. Where do you find them the apps?

Um

Yeah, I guess why don't you just date like a fam?

Do you already that you get DMs and then going dates?

Um, I never

Go on dates from the DMs

But I mean, I've like I've like I've been with the guys who have said like hey, I've

I've listened or like know a lot about Friday beers and I found it like weird

There was one that would just like always send me pictures of willingness like in mid-conversation

And I was like I don't want wait what where was he getting? Yeah, where was he falling like screen shots from his videos and stuff like that

Or just sending me video clips. I'm like I've first of all I've seen this so I don't want you to send that to me

Yeah, that is pretty weird like so that's why I realize like that you can't really

Unless it's like actually the hottest most perfect human being on the planet. Why don't you just post center story like I'm taking a yo a yo open for business

I don't have trouble like

Getting the initial day. Yeah, I find it that I don't I have trouble like

Finding someone who wants to

Settle down or you and I'm not I'm not no, I'm not like

Having sexual relations of them right off the bat or anything either that I would I would say

I would say for both men and women. I think that that is good advice

Like if it because if you it creates sets the the different tone if you've hung out like you know five times

You haven't had sex because it's like what if you've hung out

Probably hundreds of times. What if you've hung out and recorded it like a hundred times before you even held each other's hands. Yeah

And we still have a kiss

I think I want a I think I want a girlfriend who

I think I would like my girlfriend to yeah to want to kiss me

Is that too much to ask

Um

Here's the thing. Here's the thing about dating Emily that you're gonna learn when you get to will it when you get to will and I say

You know you've been around the block on the long enough that you kind of see these things coming but

You're gonna want to leave something to the imagination for these men long long sleeves thick

Thick pants puffer coat puffer coat like big boots that big the this way not this way. Yeah, the long boots long

Out the toe section. The toe section is almost 90% of it's mostly going out. It's like you concur

Yeah, and like when you get in the car it like they jingled you have to put the car seats so bad

Yeah, you're driving with just kind of just the front portion of the sheet. It's like a minimal movement

That sort of accelerates feet away from the yes from the gas pedal, right?

I would say Emily you want him to not even know what you look like until you're married until the shoes come off. Yeah

Would that be something you're interested in

Bells on your shoes that you know kind of clang from miles

All right, great episode. We love you guys. We'll see you next week. Yeah, I'm so sad

Why did fun? Yeah, also like that was a crazy way to just end it. Yeah, I think it was fun

You

This episode is brought to you by athletic brewing company no matter how you do game day on the couch in the crowd or

Manning the snack table athletic brewing fits right in with a full lineup of non-alcoholic beer styles

You can enjoy bold flavors all game long no hangovers no buzz no subbing out for water in the second half

Stuck the fridge for tip off with a variety of non-alcoholic craft styles available at your local grocery store or online at athletic brewing dot com near beer fit for all times

USA knows dynamic duos can save the day like superheroes and side chicks or auto and home insurance with USA

You can bundle your auto and home and save up to 10% tap the banner to learn more and get a quote at USA a dot com slash bundle restrictions apply