HIDDEN THOUGHTS: When Avoiding "Rocking the Boat" Sinks the Relationship

"Text us your thoughts and questions!"

In this episode we diver deeper into how the “hidden” parts of our awareness, specifically Hidden Thoughts” can contribute to more, not less, stress and discontent in relationships. We will continue to work with the JOHARI window as the model for brining what is “hidden” into the “open” domain.

📖 Explore More: 

Learn more about the JOHARI Window in our episode - “Blind spots, secrets, and the unconscious: JOHAR Window, Paths to being more Open.”

https://youtu.be/rAD5RvexdH8

On how the Hidden contributes to conflict:

“Conflict Avoidance: The Cost of Pretend Harmony: https://youtu.be/un-mDRite2s

“Assuming: The Killer of Curiosity” https://youtu.be/d4ssF4EwV2k

“So you want to stop avoiding conflict: Now What?” https://youtu.be/oPBId3fVLZo

“Boost Team Dialogue: 8 Game Changing Behaviors: https://youtu.be/02wcjyjG8jE

DISCERNMENT REFLECTION:

1. Why am I keeping this thought hidden?
2. What is my fear around disclosing/Sharing?
3. Is that fear valid (or FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real)?
4. Is there a way to mitigate my fear?
5. Who is served by keeping my thoughts hidden?
6. Am I aligning with my values when I keep this thought hidden?
7. Is this helping or hurting the relationship?

STEPS TO INCREMENTAL DISCLOSURE

1. Pay attention to timing.
2. Intention oriented towards growth and understanding
3. Use “I” language or “The story in my head is…” to check hidden assumptions

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(c) 2024, 2025 Karen Lee Lynskey & Christina Caro
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Disclaimer - This content is the personal opinions of Christina Caro, PhD and Karen Lee Lynskey and is for informational and educational purposes only. This is not...