"He's Been Lying About Finances For Years"

0:00Brought to you by the EveryDollar app, start budgeting for free today. I am struggling with my husband lying to me financially. I've been struggling with this for about two years and I'm just wanting some advice on how to fix this. Oh gosh Sarah, what's he, you said he's lying about your money, what's what's an example of that, what does that mean? So I first found out it out that he'd been lying in our whole marriage a couple of years ago. He had a large chunk of money from the sale of a house that he had put into work. He told me he put into a high yield savings account and when we got to the point of talking about buying a house, it came out that he had been completely lying about it that there that he'd spent all the money and so I don't know where he spent all that money. There are other times where we'll put money in the safe as a savings account just in case of

1:04emergencies and I went in there one day last March to get the money out to pay a bill and the money was gone and it's kind of things like this that are consistently happening. And what does he say when you confront him, where does he say the money went? Sometimes the $70,000 I'm not sure where it went even to this day but for the other stuff he says that it goes to you know if I'm out of town for work he says that he went and spent it eating out or he went and just bought some random stuff that we don't really need that he's not really going to use. Have you seen said stuff? Is there actual proof of the things he's saying he's purchasing? Yes like I see the receipts from where he's gone out to eat and you know he brought home a guitar and tried to play it for two weeks and then stopped playing it and now it's just

2:04sitting in the closet. Okay well there's a few layers to this and I don't know if there's something more nefarious happening behind the scenes you know there's financial infidelity is there actual infidelity? Is there an addiction? Is there gambling? There's so much we don't know because he's not being fully transparent and that is the only solution there's only hope for this marriage is him coming totally clean because right now you can't trust him because usually Sarah if there is a level of deceit financially not always but more than half the time there's something else happening on the other side of that door and I don't just blow 70 grand on some toys. Yeah and I don't know what that is what that looks like but my my fear is his character is proving out to be that he lies he's a liar he doesn't keep his word and if he's lying about one area of life again I pray it's not the case but there's a good chance there's other things going on and so I would for your sake of the of the marriage to keep the marriage at all intact you guys need

3:11to sit down with a really really good marriage therapist or counselor and start hashing out again it's not just that it's not just the money piece this always goes deeper this is always it's usually never a money issue it usually starts to show itself as a as a marriage issue and that's what this is this is a man who has to make a decision on whether he's gonna choose to rebuild trust with his wife Sarah and you guys will create a roadmap over a long process of that healing journey for you to be able to trust him again or if the patterns continue I don't know how you stay married to someone that continues to lie to you. George here look your phone bill should fit your budget not the other way around enter boost mobile their low rates mean you can unlock up to 600 bucks in savings over the so called big carriers so bring your phone keep your number and pay just 25 bucks a month forever on their unlimited plan guys stop paying more just because you

4:13always have head to boost mobile dot com slash Ramsey to make the switch today based on average annual payment of AT&T Verizon anti mobile customers compared to 12 months on the boost mobile unlimited plan as of January 2026 see website for full details I don't know how you stay married to someone that continues to lie to you. That's the hard thing because in a lot of ways he's great he helps out around the home he is very encouraging and spiritually you know I don't really believe in divorce and so it's hard because our whole lives are intertwined you know we go to church together like I want to be led by a godly man you're not Sarah you're not you're not though you're not he took 70 thousand dollars Sarah and lied about it you guys have a have a agreement that you're going to put money over here and he chooses to be a selfish a selfish child and go by a freaking

5:15guitar do you know what I'm saying like it is it's pretty glaring and and I don't I don't I don't trust him and so no that's not a man who leads you spiritually Sarah no you can't put a spiritual umbrella over this this is wrong this is wrong okay and I'm sorry I don't mean to be harsh about it but no that's really something that I need to hear yeah I mean it's just and and we're a third party that doesn't know you from Adam so when you give us information that you've been used to holding it's become normalized to you but you say it to us and we're like no and again I don't not think he's a bad guy I'm not saying he like has a double life or something and he can be a good guy a lot of other ways but it doesn't matter if you can't trust him you understand that's the root of this whole thing and I'm sure he's a he's a hard worker and he goes to church he can check all the boxes but if you can't trust him and he constantly lies to you there is no relationship here

6:17and so that I'm starting today I'd say hey I'm a joint owner on every single bank account every account in our life and if you say no to that we can't move forward yeah and and it's a spectrum here Sarah again we can we jump probably to the dramatic because we do this show for a living so I feel like we hear some of the craziest stories so yes it could be that he's just sloppy with money he's irresponsible he's immature about it and needs to grow up that's the best case scenario that's the best case scenario you know what I mean but he needs to understand the seriousness of this because if you want to talk scripture I can throw a lot of money scriptures at you that actually depict what your heart and character are is how a reflection of money and how you handle money and so it's yeah he needs he needs to step up and be a man and if he can't own this or understand the seriousness of what he has eroded in your marriage trust wise if he brushes it off and goes well you know I just I bought some toys while you were out of town my bad that's not enough

7:19yeah and and you two Sarah you know on your end you got to decide what if it's that serious to you and it may not but you may get off this call and be like I can function in this for the rest of my life and you may choose to I don't know because it's the harder work to not sweep things under the rug and actually to pull the rug out and deal with the crap that's sitting right there that's that that's marriage work like that's the hard work and marriage it's so much easier to be like it's not a big deal I'm going to just justify it over here because he is a good guy and we're going to and then that's the level of marriage you're going to have but if you guys want to do the work to dig deeper not only financially can you be healed but I think you'll have a much healthier real honest authentic relationship in your marriage as well which is probably the ultimate goal you know absolutely yeah we're hoping for healing for you but you've got some hard work ahead of you and it's red flags so here's how conversations and how he reacts is going to be very telling yes and I love the quote when someone shows you who they are believe them and so the more he shows

8:19you that he can't be trusted the more you have to realize he's just not a trustworthy person and I can't change him and therefore I am not safe in this relationship that's it that's the hard truth and I hope you guys have some good counseling and church family that can help support you through this I hope there's healing and redemption on the other side get some healthy spiritual Christian people around you healthy bring it all into the light that's the path forward create your free every dollar budget today the simplest way to budget for your life