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In his classic poem, The Mending Wall, Robert Frost says, “Good fences make good neighbors.” Jim Daly shares why good fences make good marriages, too.
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Focus on the Family Commentary — Good Fences Make Good Marriages. Machine-transcribed; use the interactive transcript above to jump the player to any line.
0:00In his classic poem, The Mending Wall, Robert Frost says, Good fences make good neighbors. Good fences make good marriages too. That's because a fence is a boundary. It separates what's mine from what's yours. In a relationship, that means owning your own feelings, attitudes and behavior. When you take responsibility for your choices and I take responsibility for mine, respect grows and love has room to thrive. But without good boundaries, a couple will struggle. Like Tom and Kathy, when they first got married, Tom liked to be close to Kathy and he felt rejected when she wouldn't spend every free moment she had with him. Kathy loved Tom, but she resented him for not supporting her for when she wanted time to herself. Instead of owning their feelings, Tom and Kathy blamed each other and conflict ensued. What rescued them was good boundaries. They took ownership of their own choices, which not only enhanced their togetherness, but the space between them as well, which is key.
1:03Boundaries don't erase individuality. They help two people become one without losing themselves in the process. Robert Frost was right. Good fences do make good neighbors. They also make strong lasting marriages because good boundaries don't limit a couple's love. They protect it, nurture it and give it the nourishment it needs to grow even stronger. To help your marriage thrive, go to FocusOnTheFamily.com. I'm Jim Daley.
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