Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, April 8 [Vault]

0:00Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute, it's carbs are bad, and then the next, it's, no, actually carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice, and honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects to you with licensed medical providers who create doctor-developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA-approved GLP-1 medications, including the wagobe pill and the wagobe pen. It helps regulate your appetite, so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit forhers.com slash bird to get personalized affordable care that gets you. That's FLR-H-E-R-S dot com slash bird. Forhers dot com slash bird, weight loss by hers is not available in all 50 states. Wagobe is registered trademark of Manovo, Nordisk A slash S. Get started and learn more, including important safety information, wagobe clinical study information, and restrictions visit forhers.com. The virtue. There's a pay gap between mothers and

1:02childless women that we've been talking about. It's actually bigger than the pay gap between women and men. We also found out this morning that researchers found that the mother was 100% less likely to be hired when she applied for a position against a childless peer. Mothers were consistently ranked as less competent and less committed than non-moms, and when they were offered a gig, $11,000 a year less is what they got offered than the woman that didn't have kids. Alicia says this is all stupid anyway because mom shouldn't be working. Hey Alicia, good morning. Yeah, this is not going to win me any friends with the feminist movement, but I don't think women that have kids should be working at all. I think it's disgusting. It's disgusting when people have kids and at 60th old they put them in daycare for strangers to raise them. Why should men be forced to change their roles that evolution has created for thousands of years as protectors and providers? That's hilarious. I said that's hilarious.

2:05Well, you know, that's just how I feel. I've seen women, I have seen co-workers have to leave suddenly in the middle of important deadlines because their kid is sick. I'm not getting extra time off work because my dog has to go to the vet. Pay attention to your child because that is where your dedication should be. Do you have children? No, I don't. I chose not to have children. What if it was a family situation where let's say, let's use Tracy and Scott as an example, and let's say Tracy, they had an agreement that Scott would stay home with the kids, but Tracy would work nine to five and have a regular office job. Is that okay? Yes, if there's a parent in the home with the child, I think that's fine. Everybody wants work so they can have a nice car or a bare house and have some and have their poor child being raised by strangers. And then they wonder when the kids and when the kids older and a teenager, who is his child?

3:06But what if you're a single mother? You should have been more careful. You should have been more careful. Seriously. Wow. You should have been more careful about what? Not a kid. No, but I mean what if you're what if your husband left you? Well, actually, I am a widow. And fortunately, I didn't have children before he died. But what if like what if your husband left you? And you're your mom and you I mean, is there are there any exceptions to the rule? Well, you can go to court and take care of things that way. But I mean, there's absolutely no circumstance where there shouldn't be one of the parents in the home with the child. No, there are always there are always going to be circumstances where you don't have to you where you can't have one parent in the in the home. But I'm saying when women have a choice to get pregnant or to have a career, I think they should choose the child over the career. Tracy, what do you got? I mean, you're about to have a child. I mean, I don't agree with her obviously because I'm choosing to have a career too, but I will be completely honest and say I don't think

4:10I mean, for me, there has been times where I wonder if there's something if I'm less of a mother because I'm choosing not to be at home. I mean, I'm going to choose to work and I mean, financially, I have to continue working and career wise. I think I'd be bored if I stay at home all the time. But then it's like you read all these mommy blogs about like, you know, all the the play groups that they do and all the things that they're doing with their kids during the day. And you do wonder like, am I less of a mom because of that? Boy, it's Stacy's struggle with that. She struggled with that thought because she thought that she was going to work when we had Hayden also and she had tremendous feelings of guilt about going to work and having Hayden in daycare or whatever. But it goes along the same argument. I don't think a man, I mean, as a man going to feel that way, has a man ever thought to himself like, am I less of a dad because I have a job? I'm sure there are some, but as a general rule now. And you know, and women have to have to have to make that choice. I mean, on the other end of what Tracy said, I mean, Katie, now I've had this conversation, my fear of being a mother is I lose my identity. Like I don't, you know, the fact that I'm

5:10considering being a mother's one thing, but I don't want to have to trade off being Melissa Carter to being so and so's mother. And all honesty, I'm just, I have a hard time with that. And heaping that stress on top of the stress you're already feeling for the digital transition. I mean, I've only got a couple days, but anyway, so, but I do, and I think for women, I think it's unfair that women have to go through that mental process and men don't because men don't have to lose their identity, lose their job. They can have everything. They can have their identity, their job, a higher salary and kids, and a woman doesn't have that as easily. But I think it's another conversation for another time. I don't entirely agree with that. And I think it's changing over time. I mean, if you think about it and we've talked about this on the air before, like, I mean, most of the homes that we grew up and were very traditional gender roles still. My parents are very traditional generals. They're grandparents. I mean, this is really the first generation of women that has always grown up with the potential of birth control, with the potential of not having to have children. Yeah, that's crazy.

6:11Birth, I can't. But you know what I'm saying? I mean, I think that we can, we can expect change, but it's not going to happen overnight. And it's not going to happen just in one or two generations of people to completely change the mentalities about all of it, but it is changing. I don't think that we're stuck in the 1950s anymore, but I also think in 50 years from now, it's going to be a whole lot different. I think there's going to be a lot more co-parenting. And that's where I think the battle is going to be between men and women with children and men and women without in the workplace. Here's Ty and he says we're missing the point entirely. Go ahead, Ty. You're on Q100. Hey, how's it going, Bertha? Thanks for calling, man. I appreciate it. Yeah, I mean, honestly, and I'm going to digress a little bit because I heard one of the other women that came on that did not have any children, you know, kind of looking down her nose a little bit at those of us that do. You know, and her, I definitely think she was missing the point thinking that people were working, you know, dual income families just so that they could have nicer cars and things

7:14of that nature. She's clueless. I think that for most families that have children, they're finding it both members of the families have to work just to make ends meet. And I also believe that, you know, if you're wanting things extra, usually it's for the kids. You want them to be able to play sports. You want them to be able to, you know, go to a nicer school, you know, that type of thing and I definitely don't see a problem with that. But my original point was that it goes back to the fact that generally speaking, men are making more money than women are for the same job. And a lot of, and then this role can get reversed within families and I've actually seen it happen, but for the most part, for, you know, with both couples working together, they actually have to figure out which member of the fan is a, making more money, who has the insurance, is there a

8:15specific job that requires travel and based the decision, basically making like a disposable job. One job is more important to keep than the other one is. So that parent winds up doing more of the, I'm going to the PTA meetings or, you know, picking this kid, the kids up from school and having to leave work early in. And that type of thing, going to the doctor's appointments. You know, with myself and my wife, you know, we actually have a little bit more of a couple of income, so we kind of both do those things. But like I said, I've seen the roles reversed where, you know, it was actually the woman was, was really the, this old bread, winter in the family. And even though the husband worked, he was the one actually having to take off and do most of the stuff just because her job was, it was more important to the family for her to keep her job. All right, so I hold on one sec for us, go to get to other cost. I think it's a general role though. It's the woman that's kind of, she's running out. Question for the guys in the room.

9:16Yes. Is that an honorable thing for a guy to do in your mind? If he's the one, like say, you guys have a married, uh, friend's, married couple, got a kid, right? Right. My wife makes more money, guy picks up the slack and does more of the parenting. Is that an honorable thing to you? Or do you look down on him? Honorable. I think it's honorable. Yeah. I think it's cool. I would make fun of him, but I would think it's cool. But I would call him Mr. Mom and stuff. If I were being honest, so if Scott didn't work from home, like if his job physically was not at the house and he was the stay at home father and I was working, I would, I don't think I'd like it. Really? Why? Because I think that would make me feel even worse. Like I was, I'm not, let me say for the record, I don't think my feelings are correct. I'm just saying that this is how I feel that for me, I think I would feel bummed and upset that he that she needed him more than she needed me and that she, like it already bothers me. That she needs him. It's just that he's the available one. Yeah. I know. I mean, it already bothers me because since he does work from home,

10:16and I get to work so early that he is going to be the first person she sees every single morning and that already bugs me. I do think it, I mean, in the, in the scenario where if one a parent is not as available as the other, it does. I do think that makes an influence on the kid. But I'm, but from a more extreme case. How's that feel Tracy? No, no, not necessarily Tracy's case because he's working from home and she's working. Well, I do think that with Tracy and Scott, it's going to be, it's a different scenario than what I'm thinking of. I'm talking about the dad or the mom either way that works all day long that has gone, you know, works that 18-hour day and the other parent is there 24-7 for that child. That does influence that child and the child sees the parent's differently and has a different bond with the parent's differently. That's why when you know, Jen brings up co-parenting, I hope for that so that every child can be equally as bonded with their mother and father or whatever, you know, home they're a part of and my home will be two mothers, then it just being one parent overly there for the child and the other one always gone.

11:17And I think we're fortunate because of the hours that I, you know, that my job requires where I can get here so early and then, you know, halfway through the day, typically I'm done or I can be working from home. So he'll have her in the morning and then as soon as I get home, that's when he'll shut the door and he'll start working and then I have her all throughout the afternoon. So it will be like a co-parenting thing, but if it were him doing most of the parenting, I think I'd feel bad about it. Good morning, Chris wants to be on the voice disclosure. Go ahead, Chris. Yeah, I just, you know, I'm married, I'm kid in the oven one once here and we both work, we're workaholics, you know, we have a girl, we are great parents in summer's backs and the girl never goes away and I just think that, you know, what the caller said, I think she was very extreme and she knows she was strange. She was competing, you know, in certain situations, she's changed it, but from Alyssa and Jen, I mean, I'm not trying to attack you. You guys don't have kids. I think you guys respect that. You know, it's not necessarily fair for you to call me that, but in the end, change is good, if change is foreign improvement. And, you know, knowing you'd go back 50 years, I think you should progress, people should get paid what they bring

12:19to the table. I mean, if they bring value on you, you're more productive than someone else, you'd hope, you know, that's how you could pay, but that's not how it works and life isn't fair and we should still try and change, but there's no question. If you can have a parent or a family member in the home to raise the kids versus not, you should. You should, if you can, you should. And I think that's what she's saying and I think when you start attacking someone for having an opinion that that is, you know, I want the mom to be in the home or whatever, I just don't think that's fair to do and I don't think especially when you have kids and that's all I want to say. Well, I appreciate that. I mean, it's true, Jen. I don't have children, but it's also true that from your perspective as a man, you don't understand where we're coming from as women. You know what I mean? So our opinion is coming based from that study talking about how it's done in the workplace and at home and Jen and my decision in our minds as well as Tracy's about having a family and the decision making we have to make on whether to have children because we're all three professional women. And I think that's where our comments stem from. Well, in my comments, towards that woman was towards a woman who also didn't have kids. That's true.

13:23And she fell. That's true. I mean, I'm confused on where he's coming from. And she felt very strongly. Very strongly about it, but she didn't have kids. Anyway, what have the virtue. Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become like one minute, it's carbs are bad and then the next it's no, actually carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice and honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects to you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications including the wagobe pill and the wagobe pen. It helps regulate your appetite, so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit for hers dot com slash bird to get personalized affordable care that gets you. That's

14:23F-O-R-H-E-R-S dot com slash bird for hers dot com slash bird. Weight loss by hers is not available in all 50 states. Wagobe is the registered trademark of NOVO Nordisk A slash S. Get started and learn more including important safety information wagobe clinical study information and restrictions. Visit for hers dot com. So I was hanging out on Saturday night and I went up to the lake alone because Jessica was doing a girls weekend. So I was by myself and I went to a bar by myself. It's okay though. And there was a- Nothing wrong with that. Were you the guy at the end of the bar? This is what bar you're going to by yourself. Yeah, no it was yeah well you guys have been there. It's just the little bar on the lake. No, so whatever. I like that one. But it's it's a very, you know, it's the small town neighborhood e vibe of the whole thing. So while you don't really have friends, like kind of everybody's familiar. You know what I mean? Like it's like a small town bar, you know, you know, everybody whatever. So there's like these regulars who I couldn't even tell you their name but they're

15:27definitely like fixtures at the place. Yes, they're all probably like 30, 35 years old I think they, you know, kind of fix boats and jet skis on the side type of deal kind of guy you can go up and give like 60 bucks to and go, hey man, engine's on a weird, you know, can you whatever and they'll tear the whole thing apart and give it back and go, hey not only do we get a fix but we've revved it up, you can now go 170 on your jet ski. And if you push this button, it'll shoot flames. You think that's a great, you know what I mean? Those type of guys, right? So go dogs. Yeah, so they're all hanging out there and they know I work in radio down here. So they call me radio for either because of the radio thing or because of Cuba, good, a junior. That's going to say so movie. Yeah. So the guy says, hey radio. Yeah. Oh, that's fun. You, you push around a shop and guard. So, so we're hanging out, we're hanging out there. I'm talking to a couple people I do know and I somehow end up in a conversation with one of these

16:30guys and he tells me a story that I fully think he was joking and like not serious but found out by by the end of it, which was only like a 15, 20 minute conversation by the end of the conversation. There's no doubt in my mind that he was completely serious. He his thought this out and he wants to execute this plan. Okay. Got married about two years ago. Sick of his wife, but he loves her. Just doesn't want to be married to her anymore. He's just not into it, right? He loves her. He's just not in love with her. Yeah, whatever. So he's like, you know, not, you know, he's, it spends over, over a amount of time, prefacing the story with you. I got to understand. I have known her since I was 21 and he tells the whole story about how they ended up married, right? But he wants it and the problem is her family and she has very big family and a lot of influence and a lot of people. No, they, he would be completely ostracized. Run out of town.

17:36Do they have children? Shit, no kids, I don't think. But he would be completely run out of town should, you know, he filed for divorce like that. He would never fix another jet ski ever again. Right. Like that. Not on this town. Not on this lake. That would be the enemy. So here is his plan. Okay. And he is actively, well, the drunk him was actively putting this plan into motion. Okay. He would like to hire someone to have an affair with his wife. What? For what reason? Because then it's her fault. And he wouldn't be ostracized. So, so she would. No, she'd be okay. I asked him that. This is she be okay because she has an influential family who already doesn't care for him. So they would understand and they would almost feel bad for him. This is the, this is the equivalent of when you're dating and you make it so difficult for the woman that you're going out with to be around you that she ends up breaking up with you. Because you're too, he's too much of a coward to start the divorce. So he is setting her

18:38up. He's trying to save his wife. He's trying to save his reputation. Yes. I asked him that. I said, well, aren't you just him? You're just looking for the easy way out. Why don't you just start being a pain? Look around the house. Whatever drives her nuts, you know, like whatever it is. If you, you know, just stop flushing the toilets. Just start doing stuff that, you know, cause you lose your mind. And he's like that. You don't understand. And then he would overly explain, overexplained the family situation where she has such a big network of friends and family and all this stuff. So like, that was so exciting too. When he married into it, he was like, yeah, this is the greatest ever set for life, jackpotter families, wealthy and influential. And she knows everyone. And it was only two years ago. So it went from there to this. This is horrible. So apparently sometime in the last few months, he has seen a television show or a movie or something like this with some similar plot line in his convince he could do it. He is, um, do you want you to do it radio? No, uh, yeah, let's get a sleep of his life. You do it.

19:39I mean, you're alone. Oh, like, well, I, uh, I asked him enough questions because I thought, you know, it was like I thought he wasn't serious about it. But, uh, he has, as soon as he found someone who's willing to do it, he's got a part time job lined up. It's a construction gig. The guy I'll pay him 125 a week to work like two nights to move sand literally. And, um, he will give that 125 bucks a week to pay for the guy to go, like, take his wife out. How much does he charge him for that to do all the stuff? 125? That's how much you could pay it? You said a week. Yeah. So however long it takes for there to be a full-fledged affair. So this, I did. I dragged that out three years. Yeah. I think on this one was, dude, she's a little tough to crack. So, uh, he's gonna take me a little longer. So for 125 years a week, he's already got the job lined up to do it. And his buddies over there, like, you know, they're all talking except for one of them who's the most drunk, coming down again with lean in and go, he's serious, you know, damn really. Uh-huh.

20:40So he had to approach the guy yet. He doesn't know. That's what that's why he started talking to me. I doesn't know. He asked if I knew anyone in Atlanta who might be interested in the cake. I think maybe he was recruiting you because they live in. That's what I'm saying. I think maybe to do it the same way. I did this morning when the sun was beating down on your face that way. And he sees an angel. Uh, he, um, look at that. It's freaking me out. You know, we have to stop. It would be really, really cool if you stop saying that. I don't want to hide the way I feel. Go on now. So, um, save that. So, yeah. So he, he was asking. I'm not uncomfortable, Jeff Scott. Just trying to tell a story about the right now. I think that's fascinating. And I wonder if he woke up the next day thinking that was the dumbest idea ever or the best idea. I was probably thinking the radio guy in Atlanta's net is way wide. Yeah. Well, he's not. And people wouldn't know that the people that, you know, in the small town. So he needed an outside recruit. Yeah. I don't think he is, um,

21:42I don't think he's waking up the next day because if you go by what his friend said, like, he's been talking about this ever since he saw the TV show or movie or whatever it was that had it in it. He's like, oh my god. And like, call his buddies and everything. And then the next thing they came down, they lived like an astronaut in the North Carolina or something like that. Next time they drove down on their on their dress ski trailer, fixing trip, making cash money. The birch show. And a situation like this, you only have one shot. So their friend was going out this weekend. Said she was hot. He said she was banging. This is how he was feeling, driving over the restaurant.

22:45He's in the car and he's going over to the restaurant. He's getting all these feelings. He's nervous and he's got one shot at this. If she's that good looking, they got one shot at. Frank, when we talk to you on Friday, it seems to us like you are going to be just fine, man. I appreciate it. And boss, if you're listening, it's not my fault. I'm late. Just strong army. Sorry boss. So what happened on Friday or Saturday night? I had an appointment, reschedule. And I didn't get home to like nine. So I rescheduled early in the day. And I called her, she said, hey, we're going to have to do this at a later time. I'm sorry. She was really cool about it. You know, Anne and Nicole, everything's cool, everything's cool. So like, I'll get back to you later on the week. We'll just do it sometime this week. Maybe we don't have to wait the Friday. Actually, she said that. She's like, no, we don't have to wait the Friday. I was like, well, that's a good thing. All right. So let's see your friend on the lake the other day.

23:49And she's like, no one never really canceled on her. I'm like, well, sorry. Work. Okay. It's a really good day in the field. Great move on your part. It really was work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It really was. It just worked out nicely that way. But it does work out nicely. That's a good move. And she even acknowledged it. Yeah. She even said no one has ever done this. This is beautiful. Well, no, she didn't say to her friend. Oh, her friend did. Her friend did. She was talking about it. Yes. That's what I thought. It's perfect. You are lying in this one. I got blocked by work, but it wound up working. Yes. I'm very, very happy for you. That's awesome. I appreciate it. I mean, it's, yeah, I think it'll be better in the end, I think. And I like the fact that she responded by saying, well, we don't even have to wait till Friday, you know, so yeah, I guess that's a good thing. When are you going to take her out? Uh, sometime this week, um, she called me last night, but I was already asleep and didn't get it to this morning. So it's called last night and you couldn't answer. And he didn't pick up.

24:50It's perfect. It's all lining up perfectly because she calls. He's not available. This is great. Like M&M at the shelter or wherever they were at the bathroom. You guys were playing that phone. Well, make sure you're listening at 845 as we talk to Jay to Pinkett Smith about the secrets of a good marriage. 845. I can do that. All right. Perfect. Because that's the next step. Clearly here. You definitely going to want to marry you. Now, I think no matter what, come hell or hot high water, you have to, if you make a dinner date with her on Wednesday night, you can't cancel that one because that's not at all. And I feel strongly about that too, but I'm not going to use an old man's phrase to indicate that. Make sure you don't take any wooden nickels on that date. Get your sick sheeters. All right, Frank. Good luck, man. You're fine. All right. Steven, you recognize my voice. Who? That's a comment. Freddie called me like he was like, hey, do you have a date tonight? Now I'm like, you really recognize what I was in here. Now you're a hero, dude. In your circle, you're a hero.

25:56Okay. Congratulations, man. Let it go. Nice job. Wow. I was listening to 530 Club this morning. You might need an elder venture, Bert. I started out with Get On The Horn, come hell or high water. It's too old. We're old school phrases and the course of three. All right. Don't fight it. Don't fight it, Bert. We just all become our parents. Don't say yes. The virtue. Okay. Can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute, it's carbs are bad. And then the next, it's, no, actually carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps in drinking green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects to you with licensed medical providers who create doctor-developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA-approved GLP-1 medications, including the wagobe pill and the wagobe pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and

26:58keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit forhers.com slash bird to get personalized affordable care that gets you. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S dot com slash bird. Forhers dot com slash bird, weight loss by hers is not available in all 50 states. Wagobe is the registered trademark of Mnobo Nordisk A slash S. Get started and learn more, including important safety information, Wagobe clinical study information and restrictions. Visit forhers dot com. Brit your back. What's going on? Welcome out. You're in one piece at least physically. Rock in music bed. I really like that there. Well, dog. Hey, what's going on? You tell us, man, this is going to be stressful. For those that weren't listening the Friday you took off, just give a, I know it's a complicated family history, but if you had to do it. I wasn't raised by my mom. I was raised by her parents and I was sort of in touch with her on and off my whole life. I've been a lot closer since I was about 18, 19 years old, but not. I've probably only seen her half a dozen times since then, you know, and I'm 30 now. So the last time I saw her was in 2004, the summer 2004. I went and visited her and that went, okay, you know, I think usually what

28:05happens when I go to see her is the first day goes fine, the second day goes fine. The third day, we have some giant blow up fight and everybody's reduced to tears and she says I'm sending you home and then somehow we work it out and the rest of the business. I'm sending you home sounds so seven-year-old. I got that again this time. It was good. No tears this time, though. So I have just, I'm just sending you home. I'm just sending you home. I'm sending you home. It's like when you're at camp and you do something wrong, it's sent you home to your parents. If you wear the rug. Yes. Yeah, I've learned to deal with her a lot better. That's basically what I learned from this visit is that I personally have grown up a lot even if she hasn't. So I wish that it was a more exciting story. I wish I had some like huge like this happened and then I said this and she said that, but it wasn't, it wasn't a great visit, but it wasn't a terrible visit. Nothing awful happened. Was it about three days in when she was going to send you home? It was, yeah. It always is. The thing is as soon as I got there and she was real

29:05uncomfortable. She was really uncomfortable the whole time. Well, she didn't even come to the airport to pick me up. She didn't come to the airport to pick me up. The funny thing is I got there to their house and I got out of the car and I went up and I was going to give her a hug and she turned around and walked into the house and I was like, what? Okay. And then I walked up to her in the house to give her a hug and she was saying something else and I'm like, can I hug you? And then she was like, oh, right. She just doesn't know how to do it at all. She doesn't know how to do it. And that's the thing. She just, it just makes her real, real uncomfortable. And you know, the whole first day that I was there, she kept saying, well, you really shouldn't have come. You should have stayed home. I got a new dog. I got a new rescue dog. She kept saying you should have stayed home with your dog and you should have done that. And I don't know why you wanted to come here anyway, because you're just going to be bored. And I'm like, are you trying to still convince me to not come? Because I'm here. I mean, here's what you told us about your mom is that I mean, she was, she's always been uncomfortable being a mom. She doesn't know how to do it. So she didn't know how I said this to you before. She didn't know how to do it then. Why would she all of a sudden know how to do it now? Yeah. Well, and because of that, I think she's

30:09always been kind of uncomfortable with my interest in her. You know what I mean? Like, if she's uncomfortable with being a mom and I'm looking at her and going, be my mom now. Okay, do it. Which I'm not. But she feels like I am. And she doesn't know what to do. So, you know, the whole time I was there, she was really uncomfortable. She was very self-conscious. She kept saying, oh, you probably hate our house. Every meal, it was like, oh, you probably hate this food. And it was weird. I think it feels like a combination of the, it doesn't look not wanting to be a mom. And then still caring about what you thought, though. I mean, I think it's like this really weird mixed message. Yeah. And, you know, to me, it sounds so alien life form that I'm fascinated by how it births mom's life. Like, there are a lot of people that think she's really normal. Like in her career life and all of that kind of stuff. Like her patients. Like her patients. Yeah. Oh, Lord. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, but in your family life, I think she's so alien. So like, is your mom in the same way? Like she's, no, no, nobody really thinks she's that

31:10normal. I don't think well, my mom has done. It's a little bit. That's a little bit misleading. Because my, in my opinion, my mom has surrounded herself with people just like she is. So if you're an alien amongst aliens, then you're the normal one. Yeah. Okay. Okay. My mom has done that to a degree. But the thing is she doesn't, you know, I used to think that there was a possibility she would come visit me here. And I a lot of times I think, oh, I should take my mom this place. She would really like this. So she, she'd really like to come and meet on my pets because she loves animals. But after being there, I, I don't think there's any way I'm going to see her. You said she's not going to come visit me at all. She, when people come, my stepfather has friends around in the area in the neighborhood and things. When they come over to the house, she goes upstairs. She doesn't want to talk to anyone. She's got social anxiety and some sort, right? Yeah. She does. Yeah. For sure. So she was just uncomfortable the whole time. And then she started saying things like, well, you're just spraying yourself on us. Well, you just showed up. You're uninvited. And I was like, well, I asked you if I could come. And she said, well, you know, you're my daughter.

32:11What am I supposed to say? Am I supposed to say no? And I said, well, you could have told me it was a bad time. If it's a bad time, you could have said that. And I wouldn't come. That's why I asked you in the first place, you know, but all of these things that she says, you know, in the past, definitely would have really upset me, you know, telling me that I was there uninvited. And this time I was just like, yeah, whatever. Because she's consistent with it. And she never stopped the whole time I was there. And she would be so uncomfortable. I actually spent a lot of time just hanging out in my room, just reading and doing other stuff, you know, and I would give her a generous amount of time every day to just be by herself. Here's the problem. Like you and I are going through sort of the same thing with our parents also. I've been talked too much about it on the air just because it's so complicated. And it just feels so 17 year old. But like I keep lowering the bar for my parents, lowering it and lowering it and lowering it to a point to where like it's not acceptable anymore. Yeah. Like just because they're your parents, it's just not acceptable for them

33:13to hurt you or you can't lower it so much to where you're like, okay, go ahead, do it. That's just who you are. Go ahead and hurt me and my family. That's absolutely how I feel about my dad. And I think my mom, I've just gotten to the point where I'm like, I accept anything you're going to do at this point and you can't whatever. Well, you know, I don't know. Does it hurt you? I mean, when she says things like this and well, you know, like you said in the past, if this were five years ago and I was there and she said something like, well, you just showed up here, uninvited. I would have felt really bad. I would have felt like, oh my god, I'm here and they don't want me here. But now I can look at her and see she's just really uncomfortable. She's just really self-conscious. You know, she doesn't know how to act. She doesn't know what to say. She doesn't know what to do. It's not about me. It's about her, you know, and I can just go, okay, well, you need some time to yourself. It's a really mature perspective. There's only so. There's no place on the show. Yeah. We would have known this was your take. We would have known. You're the grown-up and she's the child. Well, and the sad thing is that, you know, I laughed and I could tell that she was sad when I was leaving. You know, and the whole visit, I was there and we didn't,

34:16well, we talked a little bit. We didn't really talk a ton. It was very, I mean, it was very superficial kind of visit. Like, we ate every day and we watched the TV and then I went home, you know, and like I say, I gave her a lot of time on her own every day and I left and I saw a Twitter message from her when I got home that night that said, I don't know why, but every time the kid leaves, I cry, or like, I sob for an hour straight. It's like, well, that's really sad, that she cried after I left, but why wasn't she more... Well, she might have said she might be something. The Jeff was saying is that she doesn't know how to interact with people when they're one on one in front of her. It's almost so unfair to you that that's a little bit like using a golf analogy. Like, you play 17 holes a golf and you suck, suck, suck, suck, and then you play one hole where you do it just so well. That keeps bringing you back. Like, you weren't even having fun for five days. It was awful. And then when you leave, you see the pain in your mom's eyes, so all of a sudden, you're like, well, I got it. But at the same time, it wasn't terrible. It wasn't like I hated it. I wasn't that uncomfortable, even though she was uncomfortable. I was like, well,

35:16I'm just gonna be here. And, you know, my stepfather is we get along fine, so I would just talk to him, and at least I can, you know, commiserate with him a little bit. And she did say one thing she said that was really funny before I left was that she told me that she had been lonely all week, because usually her and I talk online every day. So you're right in front of her? She told me that she had been lonely all week because we hadn't... She hadn't had me online to talk to you. I'm like, I'm ready now! Maybe you should have I hemmed her from the other room, but you're sitting there. Yeah, totally. But, wow. It was terrible. It wasn't great. I think that probably from now on, at least for, you know, the next couple of years, it's better for us to have, like an online relationship. And if in another five years, I feel compelled to go visit her again, or try to make it work out again, then I'll probably go visit her and see if anything's changed, you know. And then you get to the point, you realize she's not gonna change. Well, I don't know that she is. I'm not expecting her to at this point. I'm just leaving the possibility open and I don't know. You know, like, I'm fine with it. I went. I did what I could do.

36:18I'm making my effort and... Yeah, you did what you could. Absolutely. Congratulations. If you want to talk to Britney, she's on after 10 o'clock, or you can Facebook or also, or you can go to our website if you want to. You can Twitter me, Q100 Britney, you can I am me, you can call me on the phone. The virtue.