Fortune Feimster: A Joke About Dating

But you got to put yourself out there, date different people.

I went out with different people.

I went out with a nurse at one point,

and God bless nurses.

They have gotten us through this crazy time.

Yeah.

I just thought it would be different.

I thought she'd come home in a sexy nurse outfit

and be like, who's got a nowy?

And I'd be like, me?

But it didn't work like that.

She can come home in her dirty-ass grubs,

and she brought her work home with her.

She was always following me around with a clipboard.

Asked me about my bowel movements.

She thought I should lose weight, which too shay.

I'm just saying it wasn't fun to eat nachos with her,

because she'd look at me and then look at the nachos and think,

okay.

All right.

Well, someone made a choice.

Three kinds of cheeses, sour cream, and liquid cheese.

I'm like, it's called queso.

And it's Spanish for heart disease.

And it's delicious.

I knew it wasn't going to work out right then and there.

I was trying to find like an legitimate excuse to break things off.

She's doing the Lord's work, and I didn't want to just be like,

hey, you bum me out when I eat nachos.

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