Episode 500 - Dick on Chekov's Nuke

0:00Coach Cake is in here going what are the chances Sean is here fucking zero coach cake you fucking Negative piece of shit put that shit in my head But nassol man I thought of asking Sean. I'm like, I know me. I bet Sean needs more time He needs another vine here Maybe I was out of thousand. I'll say yo, man. Oh shit. I almost said the N word man I thought I thought I'd be getting a nuke for I consider this like my birthday 500 episodes Like an actual birthday that I earned man's birthday feels like I always feel like shit shameful Celebrating my real birthday, but you have to because women around you celebrated Right, you have to like you know Get shit that doesn't fit and act like Hillary Clinton with the balloon. Oh You know, oh Another leather man. Now they're gonna call me inspector F slur I wish I could say it

1:00Spec day to do to do inspector and you say it in your head the F slur right day to do inspector That's what we do for the 500th episode. Just drop math that that that inspector Hey, do you ever you ever think that You ever think that in silence of the lambs when Buffalo Bill tux is wiener between his legs and goes, I'd fuck me You ever since you ever think that that's the same scene as in taxi driver when Robert De Niro's like you talking to me. It's exact same same same thing. I can shit man It's the same bug and thing man same But guys will do the second one, but if they do the if they do the tuck the wiener thing they'll go like that's gay But yeah, they'll go there going like I'm tough, right? Ha that's the extent of my thoughts on these last 500 episodes I've been sick all week. I sound sick. I thought I would get I was coming in hot man last week I'm like I'm gonna put some stuff together and then wham I get sick. I'm like, you know that figures

2:03I'll just limp in I'll crawl in Hopefully my voice won't sound won't sound like shit, but it does so sorry I thought I'd be getting a nuke I'm my birthday on this my podcast birthday I thought old Netanyahu would drop a nuke nuclear bomberino on those stupid Persians for being alive But he didn't he pushed out he said last night. I got a big special surprise I said oh he's gonna fucking nuke him come on man. You got to nuke these fuckers. Don't just be blowing up You blow up a little girl school and kill two and a girl is a big problem But you nuke a whole country, you know nobody cares too many people Come on buddy. A lot of people Yeah, and then be some sick edits of that like Netanyahu riding on the bomb like in Dr. Strange love going You know riding a nuke right down to Taran. Oh, yeah, I hate it. I hate the whole thing

3:05you know Because I'm like a normal person right Because I'm a psychopath so I don't understand how the rules work from from my point of view If you're killing 200 little kids over there you could just do that here So if that's the line if killing 200 kids is the line There's so many problems that can be solved at home that killing 200 kids would would do You know you just have to be smarter about it. So if that's the line Then okay, let's let's figure let's fix all of this stuff at once Right but If you say that you're crazy Everyone loses their minds. Yeah, you say peacock nobody bats and I you say poop cock and everyone loses their minds Um my urologist called me Maybe I'll start the Yeah, isn't it so

4:06200 good little girls are dead. Okay So that I mean that's like a Yeah Welcome dick. I feel like it's a little computer chip that played doom the human brain that they got playing doom Welcome dick you on dick. You need to get out of here It's the show where there's a contest going to be a live room out bunker deep in the heart of city of filigree I mean, I was sick. Mashson show me as always. It's choney the audio engineer. I was not here for the 500th episode Yeah, no attempts were made He needs more time. I've been reflecting on my life. I realized I fucked it up He's living on the north sentinel island and if every time we've tried to get close via helicopter I'm bajillion spears come flying at us. So we have don's in a dick safe Location a location. I can't reach like in the matrix two And Nio's in the train station. She moved to the floating garbage patch in the middle of the ocean in Mad Max That that land of estrogen where all the women are the green land where there's no such thing as a wrong turn That's where Sean is right now guarded by

5:0940-year-old lesbians They look 40. They're not 40, but they're home I'll watch in each other's kids because their husbands left them husbands were all abusive though Land of a million day, but that's not why they're lesbians So they're totally other reasons because we've got because the same reason that gay guys that's why Same reason that gay guys like winners in their butts. It's the same reason the women are have found each other to raise kids that They also like winners in their birth. They hate it. They don't even they love the idea of it Well love and hate, you know, two sides of the same coin. Don't go there I was hoping for a little nuke. I just want to see a nuke man. The older I get The more I want to see a nuke. I know I get it Now I get Lindsey Graham The older you get man these boomers. They just want to see you goddamn nuke. Yeah. Is that so wrong?

6:10Is it so wrong to want to see a nuclear bomb? Annihilate uh millions of people. Is that so wrong? You know We've been getting teased with it this whole time. I know man You bring a gun out into play. I got to see that gun go off. Mm-hmm. I got to see that I was told Stop dropping buck and whatever and nuclear bombs are going off. I just kind of waiver to see this play I paid big money. Mm-hmm. I paid big money. I paid big tax money. I deserve. I'm in discernment of one nuclear alert explosion Put it wherever put it in L.A. I don't give a fuck Put in L.A. It'd be the same thing as blasting it off in terrain, right? A bunch of goddamn mountains my wife asked me all the time. What if they did nuke? I'm like you see all the fucking mountains You know why you know why the city made me rebuild our deck I will be the same for the same reason that the city made me build a deck the same deck twice Cuz of the fucking mountains that have been here for 300 million years. We'll be all right. Don't worry about it

7:10We have more bullets than probably this whole city block Until you get down into the mexican area than they got more bullets But that's fine the worst part about a nuke going off in L.A. would be hearing about it for the next million years. Oh god You know a nuke went off over like yes Yeah We were all there when it happened too We were all there Now I'm just fantasizing about it. So my urologist calls me You And he says and I said oh great So did you figure out well, uh what that kidney stone was? Let me make sure this is going Yeah, so did you figure out what the kidney stone was? What do I got to do and don't tell me to cut out salt or beer or meat Or popcorn because I'm not doing it or stop watching pornography don't tell me it's any of those things So we're stop saying And word and eftler my wife tried to tell me I can't say that around the baby anymore. I said no to hers

8:12I'm definitely gonna say no to you. Did you say no comma? And then one of your one of the good one? Yeah, I do yeah, obviously of course hell no I said I'm both oh, but not like the iDub stuff um I said tell me the good word doc My wife makes fun of me for calling doctors doctor. I'll say hey, what's up doctor Thank you doctor. Is that weird? She says it's like mexican. I'm like what the fuck are you talking about she's like yeah, she should be doing it too then Well, she says because she worked in so many low income mexican schools She's like that's what they do they call you by your profession like they call me teacher I'm like, I don't know about that I just say hey, what's it like thank you doctor because like every doctor first of all they all have a fucking spaghetti names like That's like some kind of Jewish name or Armenian name. I'm like man There's too many g's there like I don't fucking know. I hate names to begin with. I'm not learning your name

9:13It's part of the fee. I'm just gonna go with doctor, right? Oh, thanks mark doctor magril stuna wits, whatever Oh, it's actually doctor moshnala which is like all right, man. I don't fucking care. It's doctor Is it weird did you say thanks doctor? Where do you supposed to like bugs bunny and just say what's up doc? I've said that a couple times. I mean, it's a great line, but Sometimes the doctor will be younger and get absolutely no respect from me. Mm-hmm What's up pussy Happy 500 episodes everyone I'm gonna take all the wisdom that I've learned and how many years 12 years god of podcasting It's mostly just say whatever you think and then work on controlling what you think more than what you say That's the that is the key Don't worry about coming up with something to say just say whatever, but then Jesus Christ watch what you're thinking

10:16Watch what you're thinking. Mm-hmm put more effort into what you're thinking than what you're saying and everything will work out for you And also Don't do it Don't get involved Don't get involved with any of these people. They're all fucking horrible They're all horrible um Oh, yeah, my urologist calls me I said hey, did you figure out the whole uh you figure out the whole kidney stunt thing? Why do I have it? It's something with my wife, right? It's too much nagging right He goes oh We lost it So we mean you lost it. We mean you lost it Because yeah, I don't know did they did they get it from you? And I said how do you know you lost it if you're asking if they did you get it from meaning as well It's doesn't the chart that they got it, but we don't have it. So you sure they got it bro Come on man. Come on Come on do your fucking job. Where is it then do you have like an Indiana Jones

11:17Locker piss jugs and fished it out She fucking stole it. She popped it like a little fucking snack. She was like a Chinese nurse man. Yeah, dude She grounded up like a rhino horn. Yeah, it's like this guy's got a big old dong. I'm gonna grind up this horn. She lipped it She tucked it in like a fucking snooze She fucking snoozed and tobacco pouched my kidney stone Because got those edges so cut up her mouth right get it in there faster cut up her gun calcium, man That's disgusting that bitch probably did do that because where would it have gone That's what I asked And the man who was missing let me talk to you boss good and he comes on he goes. Yeah, we lost it It happens this French guy goes. Oh, we lost it He ate it if he's French dude and then and then I had the weirdest conversation ever I said I was expecting this to go smoothly I don't know why

12:18I was really expecting this to go smoothly, right? It's one of those things where Uh Like a difficult conversation is like a breakup and you have like you really got to prep yourself up right? Right I don't like you anymore. I don't want to see you or you could just sometimes just go in like you know what fuck it like Hey, I don't want to I was actually just interested in having sex with you a couple times I don't want to date you like I'm out of here and just say it put yourself on autopilot and say it and then inside you're like That's that is the best way to do things just like get it put get yourself in that Delta wave mode, you know that delta brain wave mode and just let it out fuck your shit up real quick works for apologies I put myself in this higher delta wave like autopilot where the talking comes and inside I'm like Don't apologize. You're giving them the power. I was like I just deal with Uh, I said yeah, I want a one of his sector me and I want it right now

13:19I said I want to yeah, I want to protect me What's the deal like what's the Let's go, you know, it's over zoom So it's calling action. I was like yeah, I want to protect me too. And he goes it was like a wretched record scratch Yeah, he looks up from his looking to see where my kidney son was lost he goes And he gets real quiet. He goes Uh Have you have you thoughts about disease? I'm like what the fuck What do you mean am I it was like uh, it was like how I imagine doctors talk to battered women He goes have you thought about these? Uh, what is uh Can I ask you uh? What is the real reason? What is the reason? Why you want these if is it to me? It does your wife know about these And I'm like, yeah, uh, what is this? My dick I could cut that shit off right here What do you mean? I feel like I'm getting more pushback if I wanted to have uh my dip my penis cut off and a vagina put in

14:23Then just getting you know, whatever they do. Mm-hmm cut your balls off or whatever they do And I said yeah, all right. Yeah, I thought about it Oh, yeah, I want to I want to protect me. Yeah, and he goes well, what is the reason? I said well, I have a kid and I'm done having kids And he goes oh You have a kid. Okay, okay, and you don't want to know and I said no, this one's a fucking nightmare to be honest with you Okay, okay, and your wife she is uh, how does she what does she think about these? man I don't know my fucking wife's what business of yours My wife's opinion is It's my dick. It's my seaman I don't want it shooting around anymore He goes, okay, okay, okay, uh, I cannot we cannot start right now, but uh Legally, I have to give you a saturdays to think about it 30 days. Did you know that? You can't go in and get your penis cut off. You got to have like a 30-day cooling off period

15:27There's too many guys we're going in there and getting Sack to me I didn't know that isn't kind of weird That's crazy. It's like getting a gun, man Yeah, except it's a lot longer and I said oh, it's 30 days because yeah, we would say this And I said okay um Is it right? Is there anything else I need to do? No, he goes ah one more thing Uh, do you want to be in my band? I said what what yeah, I said what he was I have a guitar behind you. I have a band Only uh, urologists and patients and do you want to be in it? We play uh charity Uh, charity gathers and stuff I'm like are you fuck are you fucking with me? Are you the real doctor? Can you go find it go get the real doctor. There's a some sort of insane person Handling doctor calls today. What go find my kidney stone find a real doctor Give me the good information

16:28I said is it you're you're being serious? Yes, yeah I send using information I said all right All right so long So I guess I'm in a band with the penis doctor. I guess I'm in the penis doctor is banned like the spin doctor. Yeah, it's just about to say pocket full of Year-riter fuck full of all my kidney stones I couldn't I've never been asked that by a doctor. Ah, and what is what is it? Are you sure for a decision? Yeah, I'm sure fuck you I Man I'll fucking second-guess me man So then I found out that this is a real thing and a friend of my wife Her husband was doing the same thing and in the 30-day period he knocked up his fucking wife again In the 30-day cooling-off period Fucking knocked up his wife at third time. I said oh

17:33Fuck I don't even want to know that that happened to somebody because now like I said You got to be careful what you're thinking about. Mm-hmm because now I'm thinking about I got that little guy in me thinking about Saying that would be fucking funny man that little it's not funny, dude. Don't even funny though It's you can't even just It's not funny. It's not even tragic dude It's just like it was like a thought passing by in the ether that like you like you looked at a little too long And just let it keep going down that river man. Jesse Lee Peterson is right. You know, he says thoughts are from Satan They are man. You just watch them go by And ever since he's yeah, I heard him say that I'm like man. They really are Now I see all these all my thoughts thinking in I got to sit by that river man. That's from fucking Satan and thinking that Oh, it's 30 days would be pretty funny if the same thing happened to you and I say get out of here

18:33Dog get out the fuck out of here. That's shit. Get the fuck out of here with that sit shit Satan. Mm-hmm The temple isn't built yet Satan you don't get to come around me Satan The temple is still a mosque The red heifer has been slain. Yes, but the temple has not been erected on Mount More door. Oh the white heifers are at Disneyland the white heifers have been fattened up and they're all at Disneyland measuring testing the seeworthiness of roller coasters I saw a Pixar exact Sad or somebody at Pixar At was asked why they got rid of the LGBT story in Helio The it was some I tried watching it it totally fucking sucked It was like it was like a Mexican

19:36Some kind of some kind of like cocktail of South African mystery meat little boy Like if I don't identify I mean I'm the prime demo. I'm half Mexican. I should be able to identify with this character I don't quite identify with Mr. Incredible a little bit of both You gotta watch the split screen. I got I watch it side by side Sometimes I've watched it Incredibles and I'm like okay. I need a little bit of a Music I need a little bit of a music go. I need a little bit of a by-law and I'll pause the Incredibles and then put on Coke I'm going to go like oh yeah, okay. I'm dancing I think a fucking great art project would be if you built a full of friend up I cut it in half and then built the remaining stand so you just had half an old friend What's in a friend of the the shrine a little. Yeah, it was shrines. It's what pictures of Jeffrey Epstein and incense and all your favorite foods and shit. Yeah So they got this they've been building this this house like if you you know how I saw it. Yeah

20:41Okay, so you know how my I live in this mountain right mountain bunker That a nuclear bomb wouldn't touch right because the blast would just shoot up them out and even even it was a giant-ass bomb What am I getting irradiated Get out of here. We got a way for that. Pussies. Yeah, I'll just Blow it away So my my mountain top here the roads are the roads that we do have are very well kept by the city um But then there's a lot of dirt roads the dirt roads the roads the double roads become single roads And then those become kind of dirt roads and off by the dirt roads. They're building it out somebody somebody bought a bunch of land As building this huge house Over there where we walk the dog about half mile walk from here And it's been cool to see Them do it because it's like all the new all the new construction and the new codes means it's incredibly elaborate

21:42Like didn't they did not need they did not need like whatever 200 fucking cubic yards of concrete to make this house, but they had to because of the Codes So it's cool to see wouldn't be cool to pay for But then Then these two fucking These dumb kids Shot each other They were doing like a drug deal because it was out in or doing something who knows Maybe they were having a cock sucking contest with each other. I don't know how I don't know how these nitrous niggas right. I don't know what they do in there. They get all hopped up on nitrous They start sucking each other's cocks They were they were fighting over the same cock and uh, they were so high on nitrous right. It was like a oraboris happening Turn out it was their own It's just one guy second is on dick Yeah It was one guy is sucking his own dick. He thought he was at a at a orgy. You got jealous

22:46Uh So anyway, I'm not gonna use these anymore Anyway These two kids got shot Over there um I was like all right, you know, whatever. That's a bummer. That would piss me off so hard What do you mean? I'm building a brand new house and it's already got ghosts. So We walked by there this week and The mexican I erected a fucking perma shrine Where they got shot which happens to be Right in front of the driveway of this beautiful like two million dollar all glass Uh Like elevator coming up like it is sunken in garage. So it looks like a 60 super villain bad rooftop probably pool. They're gonna put up there. It's a beautiful house But now it has this shrine in front of the driveway. So when you're backing out of the driveway

23:50You always see this fucking shrine and I'm thinking obviously This shrine has to be destroyed Absolutely But they've got like cement planters in there No fucking what they put it's they put like usually like a roadside shrine will have like a little cross or something right you know Which I hate but we all hate does everyone I fucking hate those man I guess it's I guess it's like a reminder to slow down On if somebody goes out of control in the road if there's a dangerous spot Sometimes it's like I can see I can see that but I don't think they're doing a public service I think they're doing a public annoyance. That's what it comes at cross as Yeah, it's not lobbying to put like a slowdown sign It's like a distracting like gigantic cross and a in a in a senior high school picture like okay growing up living around white people exclusively When some kid got hit it was like a

24:51They put up a whole big memorial thing. Yeah similar at least But it didn't it wasn't permanent, but it was also like a hey everyone could you please slow down This is you know, and it was like a yeah, it was a little more thoughtful than like Here's this big display if you touch it. I'm gonna kill you next. Yeah, it's like come on like gun violence is not really a It's like appropriate It's like more like a candle light thing, but you got to get rid of it then yeah, why is it out? It's like this one It's like a shrine It's and it's so out of the way. It's on a dirt road So it's not like anybody's seeing it. It's like it's just this one poor guy who has to see this Fucking shrine in front of his brand new house out in a dirt road every day He's got to put a camera up and do like a day by day like No one showed up this day this day and show like a month going by like hey No one even shows up to fucking visit this I'm worried that he's just gonna leave it up because he's the if if it gets destroyed

25:54He's the prime suspect right now, and that makes me think I could destroy it and then get him killed and then we could take his house I'm gonna show up as a and get him to sign like a weird contract that gives give me a canagram The sign here There's house if something were to happen to him. I'll talk to his wife You know you know the bombs might be coming if you want some space It's just so it's so annoying You guys put this shrine up where these kids where your retarded kids got shot obviously they're up to no good Yeah, why are we memorializing that yeah But you put it up like right in front of this fucking guy's house And it's a bunch of It's just more listening to it's all it's all listening to music on your speaker phone It's a whole yeah, it's a whole culture. It's a whole universe

26:56Fit bottom quintile listening to music on the speaker fun. Did you see they made that illegal on you not on southwest or united or something Let me see I might have a video of that. Let me see I couldn't tell if it was real or not, but if it is I Am all for that dude. Isn't that great? Let me find the video. Okay. Yeah United Airlines If you play music on your speaker phone You will be kicked off you'll be kicked off that's what it says Let's see here This is just say whoever listens to their speaker phone is gay and it'll stop immediately you will be kicked off and raped He will be gay raped while you're getting kicked off Passengers removed from flight after not complying with the headphone rules. So there's new rules On united that say you can't listen to Music if you're not using headphones

28:01You know what I can tell that she needs to lose weight Just from the late from the way she's shouting. Well, that's why the caption is so big is to hide her Yeah, what's up with that? So this is a woman on a flight a Latina woman Um, she's probably a paralegal or she works at a dentist's office. You can kind of tell Drives a white ultima. Yeah, drives a white ultima big fan of jack in the crack Two baby daddies probably one named eight in both got Edgar haircuts. She's got fake tits even though She's 300 pounds Big fan of hot cheetos loves them loves hot cheetos loves lion Loves being a lot of toxica fucking, you know, loves to heen And because I said that sounds like you problem You'll stop Oh

29:05Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, she's got the Latina The uh the fucking medicine ball the latinas sometimes have a head they look like a head on a medicine ball where You could only tell the body shape is just a giant half-spheroid Right, and you could draw lines like maybe the tits are here. Maybe they're over here. Maybe the separation each side Yeah, maybe they're like maybe the cleavage looks like this maybe it looks like this like an arrow Maybe it looks like an upside-down you it looks like those VIP cars with the camera on the tires like this Yeah, kind of like that. Yeah, she's got that Um Man if only the army wasn't uh Off-dying for Israel they could be on this flight. I just wish there's a little foos gone wild logo in the bottom corner foos come on you never seen foos gone wild. No, that's like the funniest best been the funniest page forever

30:06foos gone wild. No, I haven't seen that. Oh, man Shout out to foos gone wild Because they would chime in over this and be like oh hell no It's got a sheriff's in there. Yeah She has a little tiny backpack to emphasize the gigantic size of her ass. It's actually a double bag Uh, um, man. Good start. Yeah lady. I paid money for a lot of things and the experience is not what you'd expect I paid money for these guys to uh, take you off the flight and uh, beat the uh, Chimichang is out of you You know, and I paid money for the other day. What a fucking $8.99 said being in cheese burrito. I was like when the fuck did that get so expensive, bro What the fuck that shit was like you'd get it because it was $3.99. What do you mean? It's fucking $8.99. I know, man

31:09And I'm only 45. I can't I can't take this. I'm gonna have a price-induced heart attack by the time I'm 80 paying a $95 for a fucking double cheeseburger Jack in the in the box Is I'm gonna stay stuck in my ways of a hundred bucks a day, but yeah What a fucking ultimate cheeseburger. No, you're not because I used to have a $20 a day. I did use to be like Fuck used to be 59 cents for a taco supreme and oh you've just pissed me off for dollars for stuff You could get away on 20 bucks a day dude. 12 bucks for food like a king You would have 12 bucks for gas something ignorant of the art 12 bucks for food Something ignorant at the gas station never think about how much stuff costs like I just had a normal job And I never thought about it. Yeah And now I do now I'm like constantly dude, and I'm like I was not making any money back then After this show, I'm just gonna drive straight off the mountain and the last thing anyone will ever get through that

32:09Trying just drive right through it. I will actually and I'll leave a note that says What do you mean my $20 a day went to a hundred bucks a day and even that Still I'm like, oh, that's still cutting real tight like It's just fucking brutal man. Damn the hundred bucks a day things one of the smartest things I've ever said I live by that. It's just it's impossible to stay under. It's so hard. It's fucking I was I was killing it this month on my credit card. No, I was keeping it chip everybody chiseled down I was returning toys like the fucking grand Yeah, he doesn't need that toy. Yeah send it back. You get him dog toys, man You can use the dog toys send this one right and then the hospital sent they say said oh, we forgot to send you your Having the your your delivery bill I said what what do you mean? What the fuck there's five grand? I said you got to be my wife goes how are poor people having kids that like they don't they don't pay for shit

33:13That's how you don't pay for fucking anything Yeah, we just get fucking raked over the calls for it to fund all that and now I'm like should we get divorced like to the should we just like convert to being Somalians yeah, I feel out of form. It says like I'm a she's a single Somalian She's tall and skinny Maybe I could put a little helmet on her legs from space balls put a lift give her put her in blackface. This is my Somalian Baby mama Give her some fucking welfare little thing a kiwi shoe polish Five grand take him back tough fuck I wouldn't you got a rob the chief Got a little mask on fucking gunpoint the airlines look It's a good start first First it's on airlines you make a noise listening to videos. Just look at a reaction. You know. It's right because of a reaction Can't can't barely speak I paid for this I paid for this listening to my videos Yeah, I paid for probably a fitness video probably a workout video

34:16She's getting a workout in before going to see her puppy In Miami, I gotta do my workout on the plane before I get to Miami Uh Looking like a fucking grandma went straight from being a little gordita To a fucking abuela skip the whole Hot ass skip the weather girl jumped right over weather girl Mexican women used to have Uh child Weather lady abuela But now they just go ahead and jump over Super Mario the weather lady and go straight to Straight from gordita all the way to the kind of used to have a fat little time boy hot ass weather lady Old ass subuela now. It's just little gordita fucking gordita supreme. Yeah, they just They're There's no escaping the fatness man The answer's not in that video. Yeah Probably like Selina

35:16Documentary trailer that she was watching you know what you've heard of Selina Selina was the last skinny one and because she got they're all um yeah, they're all morning Yeah, they're morning so hard to have to look like her killer not Selina No none of us are going to be Say hi again Okay Send those toys back I sent back to I sent back two books this week My wife tried to sneak little kids books by me. I said no books in this house get them the fuck you know what they were You wouldn't think you could get fucked buying children's books Would you Dude I went to Barnes and Noble the other day expansive Not as bad as I would have thought yeah, but the kids books dude just walking around seeing any books It's all just like rape Dei Oh really out still like there's a whole

36:16inclusivity sections and you know here's how to deal with these people And here's how to tolerate and it's like what the fuck kind of shoot is this? I don't know man. I got it. I got to get I got to start getting keyed up for the Dei inclusivity fights over Elementary school dude I'm telling you it was the one to wear like a big America suit I'm gonna wear a clan robe for the first pta. I mean What I had to sit through Dei training I would just make shit up because I'm like what do you mean at a time? I've experienced racism like I'm using you get to sit on on the on the victim one Right well look so wait let me just say for for Dei training at least the ones that I'm familiar with um They will separate the the consultant comes in and they separate the groups by white and non-white and then the white people get a guilt trip And this is this is 100% true and the minorities get a You're gonna be coached on how you're a victim uh Session oh, no it was much more. Did you have so I

37:18I had this one that had to be a zoom call midday while I had shit going on That was much more important and kind of necessary really anything. Yeah literally anything. Yeah, I could have been on my lunch break Yeah, but They would make us all sit on these fucking three hour long zoom calls And it would be some lady Telling us like okay, here's your group of 30 people and and it was like all my co-workers who are all Absolutely different backgrounds not by not by Dei hires just because it's like hey We all recognize no one wants to do this job. So if you're here. It's because you want to be not. Yeah, you have to be yeah and So we're like music too. It's I mean, it's a bit different than like we would see people from all over the world It's not like we're sitting behind the cubicle dealing with the same 10 people every day. Yeah, it's like oh, okay Like you know, you just get exposed to everything and so it's like We're sitting there and you're aggressively pursuing new things like that's the nature of art You there's no we're working have a DEI initiative in artistic fields because the nature of art is to pursue

38:24We're collaborating together for the the higher thing. Yeah, yeah, you know, and So it's just like now they would break it they would go through this whole packet We'd have to sit there and it was just like a whole annoying thing and then we had to break off into groups before Yeah, talk about tell us about a time where yeah, basically it was like tell us about a time where you felt You were experienced a racial incident and then tell us a time where you may have been prejudiced too And I was like yeah, well you see for me like you know like I don't really fit in with anyone So people have called me such horrible things like Armenian and just I would and people were like you know because we all like the look on me horrible Yeah, like Armenians I would yeah, I would just like I'd play into it and I'm like I'm like I'm sure You know, I'm like I'm sure you guys right now couldn't guess what I am. You know, I'm sure you can picture best guests But you know you would so I'm in there kind of just like I can everyone because I can I'm getting text from my clients

39:26Like hey, you can to come back in in any second. We need you and I'm like I can't fucking we do like a man Something that it's related to men right and then so I was like you know in a time I feel like I've perpetuated bias was like when I got cut off traffic on the way to work today I'm like what do you mean like what it was all just like it's all just all those white fragility books are like Stream of consciousness of a of a TSA agent yelling at the airport. They're they're totally fucking redarded You know Harry Tubman wasn't real What she got hit in the head with like a coffee can or something and was like suffering It was prone to like seizures and was basically just like retarded wait what yeah, this is real. Yeah, I got Harry Month is it this wasn't this wasn't told to me in February. It wasn't told me I think they waited till February is over Much like Helen Keller wasn't real but well she was she was real I kicked in the head by a tomato can It's all the stories that of all the great thing. She much like Helen Keller I even know what story she did She had an underground railroad. That's all I know man

40:28Slaves used it they ran away. That's well. That's all fucking bullshit apparently like the PCH for black people Pretty much but dude, I'm just like Man, I'm just so tired of everything man. Why can't we just know why people like the whole side of the US for fun black people did it too But it wasn't fun like yeah, I know that's the that's a theme Yeah, Lewis and Clark just did it because they have no natural predators. We did it before we did a very Bible okay But no, it was like they made us all sit through it and I'm like It's just like everyone was kind of sitting there like we like Like we don't really experience and the middle of in the middle of hollywood in the music industry We don't really experience when it was like they were lumping us in with everyone in like the corporate offices It's hard to disentangle Racism from like advertising in the music industry. Yeah, it's all this up the first black Grammy like when did you experience racism like?

41:31I don't know everything you saw in there. Yeah, basically my entire career where it's affirmative action the job like yeah Um, which it should be it's the point of it. Um, I agree and what that's like The lump bus in with like here's everyone who works in an office and then here's you guys who experience the world as it comes Yeah, it's like oh, yeah, my wife had to do one of those It's a diversity like class And she got because she's max you know half mexican to so they put her in the mexican one and she got kicked out She got kicked out because they they would go around the room and go like uh, what have you Experience racism and they're like and they're all saying like I mean my nails are too long and I get told in a I get told that I Can't do my job because my nails are too long and people try to touch my hair People try to touch my hair and she's like I don't I don't uh None and they so they took her side They took her side of the end of the first day And said maybe you would maybe your experience Uh, is more suited to the other group and she says she walked another group is all the white people

42:33And I just get told that like how to notice microgrash, but she's like what the fuck is this? Uh And I was like well, that's got to be better because you know for obvious reasons It's all just was a cash grab you're gonna be in hell you want to be in white hell It was just like they were me I feel like they were just making shit up because that ended up itself shows that there was no Standard way of going about these training. It's just like you know Like hey, here's the department with too much funding. Why don't you just cash the fuck in on it? I almost thought about starting a DEI business just to go be like a fuck I think the top is in yeah if they're if companies are willing To kick people off planes For um, I almost said being black uh for listening But I don't mean that for listening to music on their speaker phones the top is in I fucking told everybody the top is in when

43:35When that guy then the Tourette's guy Who has no control who's gonna say the N word the more he the more he knows he shouldn't the more he doesn't want to the more He's gonna say it right what you think about if I had Tourette's if I had Tourette's I would never say it The surfeit was auto fucking branch somewhere. I just see it And he's putting it there with a much different letter. Yeah, he's putting it there because he's like don't say it don't say it don't say it don't say it I mean, I have I could have Tourette's and you never know right never have I thought don't say it um That was the top When that reaction we got to hang that guy for sale like oh man Guys You're violating you're violating a social contract and once the contract start being violated You're not gonna like the way it goes. Mm-hmm. It's gonna be shit in the streets You're gonna be kicked off planes for using your speaker phones And if there's one thing The white people know how to do it's Nark and follow the rules

44:37That's the one that's the one thing more than any other You look go go all around the world And go one by one Asians how's the rule following here horrible how's the narking pretty good? Okay, yeah Africa? Nope What else we got here white people what do you guys oh wow Following the rules narking 10 out of 10 fucking Transflip the action figure over 10 narking 10 following the rules man All right, they're gonna get away with it and then it's gonna be buses and then it's gonna be Waiting on on the sidewalk if you're listening to a fucking speaker phone the sidewalk. We're gonna fucking kill you It's one a half second down to you could do we could do whatever we want because the government's busy in Israel We could do whatever it's we could wrap city hall We're thinking they sent all the cops to Israel. They sent all the cops who I ran To arrest kids for breathing in oil that belongs to the US government They blew up all the oil factories and the oils floating all around in the air and the kids are breathing it in and the government said

45:42That's our oil you're under arrest for theft Drag that kid into process drag that kid into Quantanamo Bay and squeeze the oil out of him like Willy Wonka So then to alligator alcatraz to send this fucking kid to alligator alcatraz Squeeze that oil out of their head man Speaking of alcatraz. They should just reopen it With all in this dilapidated state because it's like well now. It's just even more dangerous and insane alcatraz Fuck it. Yeah, I put some fucking drug. How about this air drop him on their piece like fortnight exactly brand it fortnight Real life fortnight island fortnight island. Yeah from guns and stuff um no guns just like here's a loaf of fucking Wonderbread and a thing of peanut butter. Yeah, knock yourselves out so there Have you noticed the Alack of videos from the war? Mm-hmm I assume that means we're losing because there's no videos. It's gotta be right and then I saw video today of a bunch of

46:47Oil raining out of the sky All right So these are the people that trump told to rise up against their presser Which he should be telling us to rise up against our presser right Should be blowing up our Oil refineries or whatever At least letting us now is the time to rise up at least letting us have oil refineries fuck. Yeah But that's the whole thing It's crazy if you to blow up a girl school. There's a girl's girl school running your blow that up. Everybody lose their fucking mind. Mm-hmm Um What was I gonna say oh yeah There's no videos though. So I assume it's going badly It's got to be right In a world where there's a video for fucking everything you could possibly imagine Well, the videos all disappeared overnight and then there's like a bunch of AI videos

47:47He said, oh, okay, I think it's going badly. I don't know though Then the newspaper started wrote wrote an article about uh Uh The raves that are happening in Israel Underground raves in the bomb shelters. I said, okay Uh, that's probably what's about that sign I guess And then I saw I saw a bunch of Israeli commandos Got air dropped into Lebanon And blew up a bunch of people Looking for the bones of like a guy that died 40 years ago They started digging up graves looking for Like fucking long john shlomo or something some some airman Let me read it. It's so retarded. It's like when they it's like when the IDF Was trying to find that woman her husband's balls so she could get the semen

48:48Or his semen and from a semen factory. Do you remember that article? There was a whole Atlantic article about it where the IDF was sent out a special missing force like Saving private Ryan, but it was to rescue the semen from a semen bank that this woman's dead husband left there So she could get impregnated by his sperm still and it was totally it was totally stupid That sounds like the dumbest shit. Yeah goddamn. They're doing a lot of like looney tunes stuff Maybe that's just what they maybe that's just what's going on in their heads, right like there's baby heads Getting chopped off and semen factories exploding and they got to go find a Corpse of a guy of a guy that died 40 years ago and dig him up and bring him home. That's retarded shit that Like if my girlfriend said let's do or my wife said let's do that. I'll go no that's retarded I don't want to do that to grave digger is going to be pissed about that one Is he let me read it and see if I got it right

49:50um Yeah, wait wait wait uh A taran resident who had welcomed military action against Iran tells CNN He feels destroyed After his friend was killed in a US Israeli air strike I was waiting for war. I was begging for it. I didn't expect to get involved so quick What's the fuck to you Somebody grew up today. I guess is what that You want it you got it Life comes at you fast bud Um Yeah, Israeli commandos try to find a guy Israeli forces disguise themselves as Lebanese soldiers. Okay, that sounds normal And killed 41 people Okay All to search for the bones Of an Israeli pilot who went missing in the 80s a dug up a graveyard

50:56A local resident from the Lebanese town of knobby chit Pointed at the empty grave saying they thought he was there, but there was nothing So a bunch of retarded commandos went in and dug up a grave and Was there like evidence that they were gay and the guy is scaling to her something Why would you do that? Like why would you do any of this? Why would you do any of this? That's fucking insane They're blowing up each other's desalination plants So that none of them can have any water And I would feel bad, but you know, I don't know I'm kind of old enough to to know that half of every country just Is bloodthirsty maniacs who train their kids to be bloodthirsty maniacs and then send them to um Meet grinders to be sacrificed and Turned into little In order to satisfy some insane bloodlust and then they throw parades for themselves

52:01for having done it um and the other half of Of a country's not so It's hard to say You knew a big city or or a drop a or blow up an oil refinery and let a uh Trillion gallons of You know toxic irony poison them an entire town half of them half of them deserved it For sure the other half uh really didn't um but As speaking as the other half I do want that other half dead So it's win-win right like half of america Our bloodthirsty lunatics that just Love seeing missiles blowing up other countries Because it makes their dick hard Um as they feel like they win I've it even though they couldn't tell you how any part of the missile worked or yeah How we got to this point or anything I do want

53:02I I recognize that and I hate them and I do want them dead So if I were to get and and having that feeling in me That's sin feel like yeah if I got nuked with them I would deserve to die too because I yeah Okay, I guess nobody really gets out Alive I guess there are no innocence but Um Whatever No number greater than one man It's funny uh, okay, let's see new york bill would ban Hey, I from answering did you see the little brain they had a little computer chip that had a human Neuron in it that was playing doom oh yeah That's a one of the first times I've stopped and gone uh What the fuck oh no Don't do that. Yeah. Oh Yikes because usually they have like computers pretending to think Mm-hmm doing eighth AI shit. I say that's not that's just like a bunch of math and magic tricks

54:06But then they got a human neuron hooked up To a computer playing doom and I thought oh That that's gonna be a problem. Mm-hmm. Uh It's pretty cool They like They basically rewrite doom so bad moves Will give the human neuron Uh High electrical Stimulation so like a not when you touch a nine volt battery to your tongue kind of and the human neuron doesn't like that So it will make decisions That will lessen the input because that's what it wants And it's describing this like that's really like so that's basically my day what you're describing so I really Uh empathize with this Human brain cell that you guys have in a petri dish Uh In your CIA funded

55:08uh cloud Cortex start up Uh Hmm I don't know something to look out for It was cool Uh chat gbt versus a law uh Yeah, yeah, yeah a new york bill would ban AI from answering questions related to medicine medicine law dentistry nursing Can't imagine what question you would Uh have for a nurse other than where the fuck is the doctor or my god damn kiddie stone Where's my god what damn kiddie stone Where is the god damn bike it in uh psychology Social work Engineering and more they always tag they always throw engineers in To get To to seem like what they're saying is valid yeah because like they have like medicine. Okay

56:14Uh, I could see how it would be a problem I could see how it'd be a problem if chat gbt is doing medicine I've asked chat gbt some medicine stuff and it's way way off like way way dangerously off Law is um Law is totally retarded um So what happened was a woman asked chat gbt for help And it told her to fire her lawyer And then it gave her like a bunch of Case law that doesn't exist And like shit to file that this doesn't exist and she Just passed it on like a secretary So it it totally fucked up The court case the other people spent like three hundred thousand dollars fighting her Um And law she lost obviously because it's all just made up bullshit. Yeah, but now they're freaked out because The um The weaknesses that anybody could do that

57:15Yeah, like That's you shouldn't need a lawyer to go to a judge and say these guys are They fucked me over just look Like everything should be judge judge shooting Like yeah, I bought this thing and I signed this contract and You know, they're like taking my likeness and using it or They're They raped me and That wasn't in the Thing Right But that does that's on how it works you got to hire a lawyer and then the lawyer writes this document that's like totally retarded And then a judge who's retarded reads it because they've all spent like 20 years reading retardo language And they they unders like they've all just trained in being able to Read and process and speak a language that is fucking retarded When everybody in the world knows

58:16Right versus wrong even people who don't subscribe to it like immigrants. Yeah, but how else are you supposed to value or Does debate the merit of whether someone said of instead of if yeah exactly it's so it's so fucked up like I don't know this idea that Okay medicine. Yeah. Yeah, I actually Um It's stupid to stop chat you be doing it, but it's it's horrible at it. It's horrible at medicine Although sometimes it's not like when you're desperate doctors don't know doctors know Doctors know exactly a subset like you come in they'll fix 90% of your problems But if you're coming with anything obscure they just they have no fucking idea and they don't have time to do it Right, so you just sit on chat you be the all day because of this is this is this um But law is so law is so backwards and fucked up The fact that the fact that people are doing lawsuits and most of them are not their own lawyer Means that the system is totally broken. That's like the whole point of America that everyone has access to a

59:21A judge in a jury Everyone has access to the legal system and nobody has access right now um They really they really don't like I mean even like even rich people don't have access to the legal system Because it will cost how much does it cost to do uh To file a lawsuit against somebody like a hundred thousand dollars. It's a shit ton man. It's a shit ton. It's crazy um I hope they don't I hope they don't win it, but these goddamn lawyers and they're stupid bar Making it impossible to Number one be a lawyer and number two sue anybody or do anything Uh The AI hallucinated an entire legal career and nobody noticed for months Yeah, open AI is being sued for ten million dollars. Yeah Well, I don't know. I hope they win that one Uh, uh, the shape storage you see that is that real our black people really going to a Shave store man. You haven't seen that. Have you seen the shape store? I saw the shape store

1:00:26Let's see here. Is this real Is this real or is this AI? No, it's very obviously. Yeah, that looks real Johnny. Look at this guy with fucking shoes You're saying that's fake That's fake These guys crawling through McDonald's lands playplaces. That's fake. Get the fuck out of here. No way This Mario You guys tool blues black guys playing chess in the shape store Spinning around That's fake no way should be real the Skellington launching missiles is tight

1:01:30I only got a ball pit too The small world shape store All right The shapes I'm not gonna play AI I took my son do a little like baby Jim and that's the shape store. Yeah, it's the shape source like that Put him on the slide and kind of you know make sure you don't whack his head and he loved that I said, oh man, you're gonna love this right So ball pit and I said you're gonna fucking love the ball pit right? I wish I could be a baby and be in the ball pit That's how I go take him like oh, yeah, I'm all excited. I'm like yeah, yeah, okay. All right. You like the slide Get a load of this shit. We went over to the ball pit I put him in the ball pit and like start easing him in and like he looks up

1:02:33I mean because it's like a horrified look as he's sinking into the balls. He's like He's looking up in this star and I'm I realize at that moment like oh shit uh That must be a horrible feeling feeling like you're sinking into these balls and there's no bottom And it's like just gravity forever, right? Because he's so small that a ball pit It was it was only like this much, but this much too much. I put him and he's like Hey, he's just screaming Throwing up. Oops. I gotta get out of here Mm-hmm That's why even as a kid I was like Hmm Like I don't trust the ball fit. Yeah Maybe that's like a older Mayor mayor ma'am Dommy's wife Said his wife was liking anti-Semitic posts on Instagram. Oh shit. Oh, did you see the Epstein guard searches

1:03:33The Epstein guard the woman uh, let me pull this up the Epstein guard the one who's guarding The prison we got killed or switched um Got $5,000 got a mysterious $5,000 and then she was searching shit Right before he got killed or switched out She was searching for shit on Google in prison for like latest on Epstein in jail Meaning she was waiting for something maybe meaning she was waiting for something to happen like some news to come out on Epstein in jail This is what she's searching for Ep right Uh, insurance USA jobs So she's looking for another place to work furniture Bronx, New York This is after getting $5,000 So she's she's searching for USA jobs looking for a new job uh furniture Bronx, New York Ashley's furniture can yada taste which is another furniture store

1:04:35latest on Epstein in jail Law enforcement discounts How about that? Let me get a picture of her man man they they swap that guy out Uh Oh, yeah, not a bunch of other stupid Epstein shit They have a picture over come on. Let's see if she looks trustworthy. Oh, that's it All right, go, okay 5,000 That's it 5,000 bucks Can't move that 5,000 bucks like that Uh, hey dick check out this fat shaming teacher, okay Let's see Do

1:05:40One of the questions ninth graders were supposedly given Asked how much a date with a 220 pounds girl would cost If a date with a typical girl that weighs 120 pounds Would cost you $55 Okay, let's figure this out So we got 200 you got 112 120 pounds over 55 equals 220 Over Over x So that's 220 times 55 And put the x over here that's over 120 So we got x equals Way too fucking much About yeah, it's the answer to that one. You mean I'm paying a full kbq Thing for four people for one bitch I need to know how much of that $55 is drinks though

1:06:40Versus appetizers Well, you know them big girls take a lot more alcohol, right? Yeah, Andre the jackal full barrel of wine to even get buzzed so Because she's gonna show up having eaten too. So she's gonna be pounding Magnet it. Oh, so you already have to work through her extra value meal exactly. Oh my god Parent at one of the students who spoke through the outlets as the math teacher is generally well liked Where's the quiz you take these concerns seriously? It's pretty shocking. Yeah, I bet everyone's real fucking shocked Another question titled mr. Chand versus the fat kid part to I'd watch that movie What do they say the amount of money you spend on the date Varies inversely on how much they weigh. Oh, okay Uh Derived the variation equation and then I asked how much they could expect. Yeah, we already read that For the fat kid from last time wouldn't be quiet about the candy. I was eating in front of him

1:07:45So I punted him into the air he said. Oh, he's he's Chinese Uh, yeah, I don't think they really understand that you can't make fun of fat people I don't think you're gonna. Yeah, you can make fun of Chinese people. It was the fat people. That was like I don't think I don't think you're gonna win that one I don't think you're gonna convince the Chinese that they can't make fun of fat people all everyone's running around going like oh right Uh They gave candy to a other non-secretary questions With no relation to algebra according to the chronicle red how tall are you and how much do you weigh Followed by pretty or smart and why where is this quiz? Where's this fat quiz? What the fuck I gotta see this Uh Tom Chan Tom Chan fat Oh San Francisco teacher

1:08:46On the leaves. Oh, this is San Francisco. Of course a Chinese guy's gonna be saying some shit. Yeah, who gives a fuck come on man He wasn't saying how much is prep going to cost for a fat homosexual was he Because that would be way too far Uh These are the how many homes do we have to kill to eradicate off the streets or a dear leader can fucking Feel welcome. Where's the fucking quiz man? It's banned The school has to be on top of it. He said Vallejo Said that if the allegations are true the school needs to take action There shouldn't be a girl's weight based on how much a gentleman is going to spend on their date Neurore said referring to the contest questions that for me is a little disrespectful He should know better. It's sexist to assume that a man's gonna pay for It's a trick question because a man's not gonna pay for a fat woman's date. Well dick. Here's the thing man Dollar menu doesn't exist anymore

1:09:47Back when you could get by on 20 day dude. I'm not not gonna stop thinking about that. That's fucked me up so hard Dude it was 20 at 20 a day was plenty dude. It was plenty They always called hundreds of humble 20, but like man Yeah Now I'm like shit. That's just a regular every day guy 20 Fuck you could grab a 20 as like a As like a teenager and that would be you I mean you go through two days almost if you play it right Yeah, you could do whatever you wanted Man, that makes me fucking sick Uh, do we get to see any of this stuff? No, they're just doing like summaries. I'll tell you in how much do you weigh? Okay Well, thanks for trying buddy We appreciate it Metaglasses is sending you nude pictures to Kenya

1:10:49Shape store Yeah, yeah, okay A fellow named Matt says get this post-op tea on the show and ask about their Neo pussy Okay Haha, Jesus Christ All right For a while personally when I was addicted to Adderall the and Fedamine induced hypersensual psychosis That's just real sure it's just real as fuck Stim-fapping Gooning non-stop I've heard I've heard it called stim-fapping stim-fapping I'm an avid reader of the r-meth subreddit which I highly recommend for people the guys on there are really into stim-fapping Birdie little secret of all the meth users out there They're masturbating for like 20 to 40 hours Literally no, yeah, Adderall is not that much different I would have hundreds of porn tabs open gooning for like three days straight

1:11:51And then I would like have a seizure and blackout after like it was it was it was it was nuts It's really any other Yeah, except some addictions are cooler than others for sure Something I was addicted to yeah She has a vagina that woman and Neo vagina Yeah, it's got the matrix glasses on it like it's a trench coat Man here you're talking to someone with a Neo vagina No, I don't think I have I don't think I have all the people I've never talked to in this world I've talked to a lot of people The bot bad stuff though That they didn't that they regretted I've talked to a lot of those people I talked to a lot of people like doing construction work on their house and The most important thing is you got to just be there monitoring every detail So they don't fuck it up Do a slight a half-ass job You know, they don't know the codes They don't know what's connected to what

1:12:54I got to imagine that being in a medically induced coma during that Rebuilding your your deck will be bad probably rebuilding your vagina is worse man Are they still doing that now? I think I started getting sued I thought a long time ago. I said yeah as soon as doctors started getting sued for Uh drilling a hole in your gooch I'm calling it a vagina as soon as they start getting sued for that being Totally preposterous Due to not living up to their end of the deal that's a calm bubble man. Mm-hmm Got to cash in some that's going to be the dot the neo vagina bubble is in it's crashing mm-hmm And that's a perfect example. Do you need a lawyer for that? Can you just walk into court and go uh, yeah Uh, this guy basically uh, uh, cut a hole in my uh, uh, uh, gooch area And then just hollowed it out

1:13:55And I bought a vagina he said he'd give me a vagina and he did that Okay, you awarded 50 million dollars to 20 million dollars. Do you need a lawyer for that? You do But it's retarded You don't need a lawyer for that you shouldn't you shouldn't yeah, it's fucking ret it's fucking retarded The legal system is not accessible. If that's not happening then the legal system is just not Accessible to people you know what it is dude. It's just all these fucking lambs who are so precious about like Well, I read some words and Latin and that's a dead language. So you got to understand People love their fucking books man People love their really do they keep a little their trophies of all the books they read and their house No, it's all the books they haven't read you think someone's actually stacked there and Thumb through a whole fucking Almanac spread across fucking ten books. Yeah, I don't think so dude. I don't fucking think so There's no way you're telling you couldn't even sit through and thumb through all those books

1:14:57Just like flip flip flip like if you just flip through and didn't you love having like encyclopedias? It makes you 30 volume set. It's the false sense of like see All this shit behind me. That's in my fucking brain. Yeah, these are my generals And it's like Those are all just guy theory cookbooks. What are you fucking talking about? You don't know any of those fucking things Uh, that's why they put engineer on that list. Where was that list? It's like doctor. Okay, lawyer. Yeah. Oh, uh, psychologist Okay And engineer It's like well, I know you guys needed to put engineer on there To give this list like credibility. Yeah, because none of that other shit works Like even doctors He doesn't like it gets you fit it gets better You hope that you're helping but you didn't fix it did you you'll even say you know This isn't gonna fix your knee But it's just gonna make it better for a while and you'll have to get another surgery right the engineer one fixes stuff

1:16:01Makes it better and it's better forever Uh, I don't think we want you Limiting AI when it comes to engineering I just love that you can't do anything with audio engineering and AI Because it's perfect as you can make something with sound it takes someone with a substance problem to really make Sound correct you can't give computers a Substance profit. Yeah, can they you can't make the computer smoke this much weed or drink this much IPA no fucking way Maybe that doom computer they can because it's crazy. They're gonna spend all this money They're gonna spend all this money building these gay data centers. Mm-hmm. You know Um Burning water That's tight. Yeah, making electricity shoot through the roof and then they're gonna just put everything in like one little human brain ship Like I you know, I actually never mind. We don't need any other stuff. We found out we could make it all work with just like Uh a monster energy drink turns out we built a data center with the neurons that just runs on

1:17:04Monster energy drink. It's just it's so crazy to me because like all this like tech race shit Like yeah, I get it because we're supposed to be using it for AI, but it's like The same thing or the same like thought pattern I have behind like a People like a Sam Harris or all these like deep thinkers were there. Yeah, where do our thoughts originate from? And it's like well, even if you need the answer Yeah, let's say and you know some of these guys are so convinced they do have the answer It's like okay now that you know that like how is your life any different like yeah, you're still just the same asshole telling you how to live their life like Oh, okay, like nothing come nothing positive ever comes from it other than just to say what we did it Yeah, and it's like okay cool. Let's say you prove God now what like oh like you're still a big piece of shit like okay cool Let's find him and kill him I mean that's half life right um all of this all of the green energy people Went from we need to dump money into like doing windmills Uh

1:18:06Dutch propaganda dude and to saying oh shit, uh, okay never mind that we actually need Never mind that we need more energy, but we do need to dump money into Data centers. It's like again you guys again are You're inefficiently spending money on something that could easily be that will be Replaced they're trying to create these bubbles man. Yeah every single time fucking mister bubble out here. Fuck that Uh Antoids all right. What do you got here? Antoids Another shitty comment for the fucking opening chat. I'm sure Antoids why what did he say? No the other day What do you say a couple weeks ago? Who's in chat being Being being funny as always it says you know it's a woman alert Woman alert. It says you just got passed by a alert that bumper sticker You just got passed by a girl damn these guys have figure look at that. Oh look at that look at that

1:19:07Oh, it isn't ultimate. Okay Yeah, yeah girl how many jack in the box bags do you think you're in that car? Okay And what else do we got here? Lord dunksworth. Yes One another woman alert You got it L.A. Sparks star Cameron Brink Reveals that she hired a private chef, but it ended up costing seven thousand a month Which was more than her six thousand five hundred a month WNBA salary Fucking hate the WNBA. How are we killing Iranian little girls and the WNBA just is

1:20:07Walking around like at least they should be in prison If we're killing little girls in Iran Maybe they grew up to be terrorists Maybe they grew up to be fat. We don't know We should at least be in prisoning Everyone at that level globally like if we're there we don't know you know Some of them could be come out good. Right. The WNBA we know is bad Prison waste of money waste of money at least here we go I had a chef that was period. No, that was way too. Do you want to know what she was charging me for one month? Seven grand I know Brink absurd for two people for Benjamin and I for three meals or just I mean, no not even for three meals She was like shopping at airwound though. That was that was me. Oh, but Stay away from air one. They're fucking retarded dude An Air one powered chef

1:21:08Dog is air one a national chain. Oh It's like the it's like the rolls Royce of dumb bitch shopping. It's super expensive shopping store You can find like a $40 bottle of water there you can get like a either hot bar Anytime I've never even been in. Oh, dude. No, it's great. So fucking you can get like Rice probably you know get like a whatever they got at the hot bar. Yeah, it just said like a pound and a half of food will run you like 60 bucks And it's like you gotta be fucking kidding me. So she wouldn't even shop at air one. She hired someone Yeah, an even dumber bitch to shop at air one you're adding a multiplier onto the air one price right there This is what women man. They're like I If we ever have like an intergalactic war and With like bugs or something if they have shopping centers at that planet We're gonna take all the women and just shoot them over to that plan as they go bankrupt these motherfuckers

1:22:12Well, cuz there'd be times where I'd be at airwound just like man How are these bitches got like whole carts full of shit? And it's like fucking three grand for a fucking Like holy shit like how many are you hiding play stations in there? Like I'm just here because it's convenient and I can get some hot food on my travels. No, you're not supposed to grocery shop here It's supposed to just look like a grocery store right so you walk in and pretend to be the fucking grocery store That's what's a shop here. Well the crazy shit is there is regular priced items there too Like what like one or two Couple crunch they got it one captain crunch box in there Well, you can get like like if you find like your remotes or any of like the drinks and shit Okay, that's all like about what you would expect but everything else. It's like I saw a little thing of pre-cut watermelon Dog that she was 25 bucks for a little container Like something you'd pack in your lunch not like something you put in a fridge. Yeah But I can women. They're all like this too. Wow. Can I spend

1:23:14$7,000 this month on a chef? No Uh Can I have a piece of bread? Yes, the shit people used to think at all how much anything costs they can't the shit people Used to think about whole foods being overpriced like aero on makes that shit looks like the 99 cents store Oh, yeah, yeah whole foods is Amazon now. Yeah, so it's just like it's like an at an efficient rape price right if you go into whole foods Amazon has figured out exactly how much you can be raped mm-hmm, and you will be raped aero on just as fuck that 5,000 percent on everything everything Uh All right, let's hear this Fuck that place actually I love aero on sorry I'm like that's a treat for me though. I'm like my contract is 70k. We cannot be doing That is more that is more than my salary. That is more than my salary. That's insane No, and it was we started right when I got hurt She's a great person like man. I have a membership of a Costco

1:24:16Like I'm gonna go to Costco. I'm gonna go to in and out. I'm not I mean I'm on a weight gain program. Anyway, so let's just go in and out So weird to see women talking to each other that's what that's the Bechtel test like cackle fast If they're not talking about men, they're just talking about eating. That's all they that's all they do About tapping their nails on every surface known to man. Yeah. Yeah. How fat are you? I'm too fat. I need to be fatter I'm too fat That's a different Bechtel test. Do you have two women in your movie that are not talking about food Do you have a woman in your movie that's not talking about fucking soup or some kind of macaroni and cheese or some kind of cork Fucking bullshit man dude that is my dick master since Becht anti Bechtel test Does your movie feature a woman that doesn't talk about fucking food the entire movie and shove it into her fat face some kind of like

1:25:23Like a signature fat fuck food like tacos. I eat 40 tacos every time I can eat a fucking taco dude It's here's some dating advice for all you lonely fucks out there Just get like one of those old-school rabbit traps like a big cardboard box and a stick with a string on it and just put a bowl of soup underneath Yeah, anything Put a bunch of scraps like for a pig put a twilight book. Yeah, put a watermelon rind in there. Just walk out to a bus stop Wow, don't do a watermelon rind there Hahaha Put air one get in the air one rapper go get something that only you could get at air one so the she'll wreck You know just get some food that she'll recognize from her home fucking grazing from her preferred grazing ground man get an air one receipt and put it in a bunny trap Did you think it think once like? Was it you mean this shit's going to cost me sevengrah in one They have never thought about what anything cost ever oh my god that makes me

1:26:24me fucking sick dude. All I think about is how much should it cost. My wife says we need to buy this baby jail for when he starts crawling. When your son starts crawling, it's like a pen, so it's safe for them to crawl around. I said, okay, because I'm going to get it now. And I look over and it says same day delivery. And I said, you're not going to get that now. Look at the same day. So he starts crawling just boom hit it. Same day. It's going to show up that day. She goes, she looks okay, fine. So I was sick all and that was like a two weeks ago. It hasn't crawled. He's still up doing the, you know, it gets on his and you can crawl backwards. We can't crawl. Once they start crawling or crawling all around, we can't crawl. I said, wait, no, you're going to wait until he crawls and then hit it. It'll be there the same day can set it up. Just fine. So I was sick all week. I'm just getting out of my sickness. What do I hear? Knock,

1:27:33knock, knock, knock. So what's that? Well, you were sick. The baby, it's the baby jail. I got it. I got the baby jail because I was weak, because I was in my, I was in bed, recovering for a week. There's a little satanic thoughts, man. Uh-huh. Like, uh-huh. I see what happened here. One day. That's a way, dude. Francis says I had to help my stepdad clean a hoarder house when I was 18. It was an old white woman whose, whose kids pit her, put her in a home and her black husband died. The dude was, the dude was normal from what I heard. And she was the crazy one. I found some old, uh, World War II currency and got splashed in the face with a five gallon drum of 20-year-old Burger King pickles, your hoarder interview. Maybe they got, uh-huh. How do hoarders out there? Uh, this is from

1:28:36Shaman Griffiths. Let's see here. Uh, is this a quirk chung as she says? The question of politicians and these business people. So in our face now, one could argue that they are just getting sloppy. There's a conspiracy over there, over here. I know I dropped my conspiracy somewhere. They keep throwing out potential realities and different. I don't know. It's like interpretive dance. It's like, I mean, I know part of it. It's more cringe. Yeah. It's just some woman doing interpretive dance. It's like, uh, it's not moving the chungest needle. I mean, it definitely falls under that. Okay. Here's, here's one criteria, uh, an affected voice. Yeah. Like a childlike affected voice is like a quirk

1:29:41chung is a requirement, I think. Yeah. Where they're like, oh, you know, uh, I mean, Harry Potter. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. Okay. Um, Oracle. Oh, here we go. Thank you for your advice. I thought I should take in your responses before replying. Uh, you remember this guy he wrote in about tag teaming sissy's man. He snuck that one in. That's, that's the tag teamer just wrote in. Yeah. Uh, but I heard you last week's show and realized I committed a faux pas, not writing sooner. I agree with everything you guys said. A lot of it. I already knew not to knock the advice, um, hearing someone, oh, hearing not to knock the advice, hearing someone totally unconnected from the situation or my own head helped straighten things out and help me believe what I knew though, your observations about platitudes,

1:30:42especially helped. That's a huge problem. People are unable to communicate without using platitudes. And if they're unable to communicate without it, then they're unable to think without it. I think I find that what you say drives what you think, right? In a lot of, in a lot of ways, especially the methods. Well, that's why I say long time no see because I'm making photo Chinese people. I had them mixed in with the sensible wisdom of letting go and moving forward that I need to concentrate on. I forget this guy that he, he already broke up with this girl. Yeah, there, he was like obsessed with it or something, wasn't he? Or not concentrate on just do, you know? No. Johnny, thank you for the additional advice. What did you give him secret advice under the table? No, email them back and was like, here is what I'm thinking at this very second. And it was basically just all my hip hop platitudes.

1:31:44Money up, not your funny, you know, all the class. Yeah, it come four pillars of hip hop. What are those? DJing, embassy, and graffiti, and b-boying. You have to embody all four pillars of hip hop. Okay. That's cool. I'm still working on all mine, but you know, it completes the picture. I've been working on getting my money up for sure. See? I was working in a dental office full of women doing reception. Now I'm selling furniture and I'm doing better there. I think stepping away from my friends was a mistake exacerbated by getting off a four mention meds, which is why I've started working on undoing some mistakes like that. I've chosen to stop being a flake, but I don't think it's been enough time effort to get the band back together and maybe do something productive outside of my job with others. You know, just do it, buddy. Cut bait, dog. Just go get the band back together. Stop being such a neurotic quick given us excuses for it. Yeah, just do it.

1:32:50Sissy's was appropriate. I should have inappropriate. Sissy's was inappropriate. Okay. I should have said twinks. So he's the triple T. He's tag team in twinks, man. T cubed. Yeah. The S word is a little, a little more, lot more loaded. Apologies, low. It's guys. You're fucking guys. What the fuck are you talking about? The fuck are you talking about? You fucking guys? You're the fucking David Attenborough of homosexuals over here. It's twinks. Fucking Sissy's. Sissy's gender. You're fucking guys. Skinny guys. You're fucking guys. Okay. Fucking guys. I should have said twinks. I should have said otter bodied, otter bodied,

1:33:52bisexual, bare mongers. That's what I should have said. Who gives a fuck? Fuck. Man fucker is your new name. Fucking dudes. Who gives a fuck? Who cares who you're fucking? That's the whole point. Why are you thinking about? He does. I have never. He cares. You know, people will ask like the whole thing. Okay. Here's what it reminds me of. When you get asked, like, or you'll get asked or someone will get asked, like, what's your type? And you got to, like, come up with something and say it. And say, because it's like, it's a retarded question that women like talking about. Women like endlessly like categorizing things like they're at the shopping market. Oh, look, here's a, here's a banana. This one's $40. This one's slightly more green. That's all their brains are wired for categorizing shit. Who's your type? What's your type? Oh, what's type of pussy? Do you like to, oh, yeah, here you like the fat ones over here. You like to paint in the ass ones over here. And you have to say something. But don't ever think that it's real. Never in my fucking life, if I thought, wow, I really like fucking this

1:34:53kind of girl or whatever. It's like, you know, kind of, kind of whatever. I mean, hopefully a little better than what I can get. But at the end of the day, it's what I can get, right? That's what you're spending time delineating the type of guys you're banging. This is an exercise and masturbation. That's the craziest work. It's one thing to talk about bitches with other dudes when you're talking about dudes with other dudes. Exactly. You're fucking. And that's exactly it. The only type you should be worried about dog is 21 Savage type beat. The fuck. Oh, I don't fuck sissy's. I fuck twinks. Okay. All right. Dude, fuck 2001. Fucking on PS one, even I don't suck. Sissy's was like a little mean. I meant what I meant to say. inappropriate twinks. What the fuck are you talking about? Dog your whole email was inappropriate. What are you? What do you want about the S word is a little more a lot more loaded. How is

1:35:57this sissy more loaded than a twink? Well, it's got cheese, a sour cream, and a bacon bits on top. Yeah. Potato skins. Potato skins. Apologies, lol. Don't fucking lol me. Don't woo me. Don't lol me. Have you ever talking about bangs? Fucking twinks. I was fucking those guys. That's fucking these guys. You gotta hear me out here. We don't take dude kindly to fucking your types around here. How about a whole problem? Stop fixing or to start fixing fix that one first. You fucking guys. Yeah. That's your that's your core problem. Every putting their labels, man. You gotta fuck dumb chicks. Oh, okay. That's like you're fucking dudes. It's like me looks like I don't mean. Oh, I don't I don't meet girls at a bar. I'm like, okay. Sure. Yeah, you don't meet girls anywhere, bitch. Yeah.

1:37:02I would never fuck a whore. Okay. That's great, man. Take your morals. I don't need organic. Okay. Yeah. I don't need GMO. All right. Same people's lighting up a cigarette. I fuck sissy. I fuck twinks. Okay. Cool. Thanks again, fam. You'll hear back when I followed through. But I fucking guy fucking I feel like he's having the zoomer experience tag team in twinks. Wait, somebody wrote somebody wrote back like in support of him. Let me see if I can find it right now. Really? We do voicemails and stuff fat watch. Uh uh Fuck Fucking a guy. There's a grave digger. Gravedigger. Uh Show. Yeah. Max still doing this shit. Damn it. Did I miss it?

1:38:05Call this garbage. Oh, is that just the one that just says gay and 72 point font? Did it? He joking. Just the email in support of that guy. No, Gog and Magog. I don't give a fuck about Gog and Magog. It's Jewish. Is that Magog on these nuts? Oh, man. Do you think somebody convinced Trump that like serving Israel would get him into heaven? Because he's talking a lot about not getting into heaven. A lot. He was weirdly. Trump was weirdly talking about not getting into heaven. And then he really ramped up sucking Israel's dick big time. And boomers really believe like you could you could more easily convince them. If you're going to convince them to stop supporting Israel would be the same thing as like

1:39:08convincing them that God doesn't exist. It's the same religion to them. Right. It's just really it's part of it. Because people say like, well, just don't do it. Israel says like, yeah, but that's it's their fuck it's the religion. It's part of it. Like you can take any part of the religion and talk someone out of it. You can't. It's insane. Uh, I see the uh, uh, no, I'm wondering if you're gay. Oh, yeah. The guy at the end, this is from Sarkmalark. The guy at the end is obviously bisexual. It's not some world ending thing. I don't know what all the hubbub is about. He said that with a dick up his ass, I think. Well, uh, they're because there is a hubbub. I don't know what to tell you. It's just funny. Well, because he made such a big deal about it. Yeah. That's part of it. It's like like the fact that he re got hung up on it again.

1:40:12It's like talk. Yeah. Because identity is important. Um, it's retarded. Well, okay, it's not retarded. You can learn a lot from it. Like your fucking brain, your doom playing brain is pulling information from associations and identity, whether you want it to or not. That's what he's afraid of. Are people going to think, um, bisexual and like, weird and, uh, more prone to like drug use and crazy shit and a risky lifestyle. Uh, is that true? Is that the kind of life I want to lead? There are a lot of the, the prejudices are there. The prejudices exist because they're, they're right. Sometimes, um, that's why. That's why it's a big deal. So he's feeling it. Um, yeah. So it's there. He's feeling a lot of it. It's, it's, it's,

1:41:16twinks. It's twink, man. He's like, I'll have you know, it was twinks, not sissy. Not sissy. Please. Um, so kind. Yeah, it is. I got you can say it's not a big deal. And I mean, you can say it's not a big deal and then just do as much as cocaine as you want, but people are going to have opinions on it rightfully. So like, well, yeah, it's their, it's their, it's their prerogative to do so. And it's going to benefit them. It's going to benefit them most of the time because they just don't want to bother with it. Hey, you can always be someone's bad example. Yeah. So it depends what kind of life you want to leave lead, you know, live life on hard mode. Go for it. We're done. Yeah, you can see what sissy mode or twink, twink mode or sissy mode. Like doom, right? Nightmare mode. What are you going to have? It's not a big deal conversation with fucking everyone. Have fun with

1:42:17that. Oh, man. Yeah, bisexual. What's the big deal? Okay. This guy's playing on full retard mode. I'm sure that'll be fun the first 500 times. But then you're going to get sick of it. They're like, you know what? I'm just straight or gay. Whatever. Tired of dealing with the shit. Olli Retardo says, dick, don't use my name. Should I have a kid? I'm on the fence and I need to decide soonish. Oh boy. Man, no. That's all the information that you're giving me. Yeah, go for it. What could go wrong? At this point, yeah. At this point, you're asking information. You're asking life advice from a podcast. It doesn't get any worse than that. Yeah. Go for it. We're down.

1:43:18Get older and spend the rest of your life trying to figure out brunch plans to pass the time. That's that sounds better, right? I don't know. It seems like probably we look at all the other animals in the animal kingdom and the reason they breed is animal instinct, you know? Biological instinct. That's what they call everything. Everything that animals do. Biological instinct. But then when it comes to people, we're like, oh, you know, we got all these reasons for you got to have these rational and justifications for having kids, but it probably works in reverse. They probably have retarded justifications for it too. They're obviously breeding, you know, selectively so. It obviously works the same way. Whether you do it or not doesn't matter. The human condition probably doesn't

1:44:20critically need your DNA to continue. It's like any choice you make and fall out for, right? It doesn't matter because you die at the end. Oh, do you? Spoiler? I mean, we just die at the end regardless, but it's like one of those games. I feel like we're no matter what you choose. It's just the same. Yeah. So I spent 20 minutes on it, but you know, your brain is evolved for having kids. Right. So having them will basically max everything out. It's like like ADHD. ADHD people are drawn to being pilots. I don't know if that's true, but I read it somewhere and I obviously have it and I was flying planes for a little bit. I didn't give my pilot's license, but I had like, you know, 50 hours or something flying systems around and then I ran out of money. It's a process and it's not cheap either. Yeah. It's not cheap, but it appeals to ADHD

1:45:27people because when you're flying a plane, there's always stuff to do. There's always like things to check, fiddle with. It's like having a fucking, it's like having a fidget spinner that if you don't do, you're dead. So you can, but you, I mean, if you're really down, you can just sit up there and, you know, point it. But you can also, boop, boop, boop, adjust the trim, do all this kind of shit. Check your rudder angles. Check your rudder angles. I think the human brain is probably, and all the brain of all life forms is like set up to function at that state of maxed out like 100% CPU max when you have kids. You cannot, you cannot, you can enjoy your time off. You cannot feel, you cannot be awake for when you're sobering up, which is nice. I remember, I remember that. I remember having weekends waking up and dicking around, deciding to watch all of trailer park boys again. But your life will probably become,

1:46:35where do I have brunch? Okay. What kind of, what kind of drama? What can I do to pass the time? Especially if you were the woman. You got so much more time to fucking adventure. Well, because there, oh man, you don't know what a fight with a, a fight with a, a girlfriend or a wife when you have no children, you know what that fight looks like? About six months. That fight looks like this. Hey, honey, I noticed that you, I noticed that you back, you, I noticed that somebody, I'm not saying you. This is, okay, this is a fight, this is a fight with them when you have no kids. There's a normal fight in a marriage relationship. Hey, honey, I couldn't help but notice, it looks like in the driveway that one car has pulled out and possibly side swiped.

1:47:41The other car with the bumper and looks like somebody, I'm not saying who maybe turn the wheel early and just gouged out a nine foot gash in my truck and your car that is also mine has a totally destroyed front fender. I'm just saying, you know, it happens, but you know, keeping eye out and the response is, how dare you say that to me? Do you think I'm fucking stupid? Like, right? Do everything you can, man. But, here's how, here's a, here's how an interaction goes when you have kids. You married, right? You again. Hey, the kid is, you put avocado in his breakfast. You fucking idiot. So now he has hives way to go and her response is,

1:48:41huh, it does look, it does look like I did that. My mistake. You got to wear her down, you know, and she say, who is, what happened here? What do you mean? What did you see? What was that? What did you say? That's what happens when now dad gets to step in. It creates that hierarchy. Okay. So we do we're down. You know, why not? I got till I was 45 without having kids and then I thought, you know, what the hell? I was washing back to the future. I thought, what the hell? Fuck it. Fuck it. All right. Let's do, how do we usually do this fat watch? I mean, you don't really affect them. This fuckers all come, you know, come back and ask me

1:49:46when it comes to kids. You really don't know until it's over. Like, it could be going great for the longest time and like some, okay, somebody's kid, somebody's kid was the drunk driver that killed Sam Kinnison. Obviously, you don't want to be that. Obviously, you don't want that to be your kid, right? So come back and ask me when I'm dead or when you do all the everything you possibly can and then your kids see someone get hit by a car and they change entirely just based off that one. Yeah. What about that? Okay. Let me find that watch. I don't know. I don't think there's anything I could add to the conversation because it's a biological instinct that people rationalize based on whether they based on what they did, what they think the opportunity cost is. Like, a lot of it is people thinking, thinking they gave up something that they didn't have. Like, people romanticizing what they gave up. So I was just, do both player. Yeah, do both. You can always leave your guy. You can

1:50:54always just, if you don't like it, you can always just leave. Yeah. Plenty of guys have done it. That's tight. Yeah, totally. Okay. This is from Mark Rosseter, probably for fat watch. He says, hey, made a disabled woman, a woman dies in a choking incident. Okay. A disabled woman tragically dies after choking on a burger. Birdie Gilligan from Brisbane had a history of choking and was on a restricted diet. Well, then what the fuck was she going to hungry jacks for a support worker who visited her at her accommodation provided by Endeavor Foundation said she had picked up two burgers from Burger King, hungry jacks. She knows she's prone to choking. So she's like, you know what, let me do two burgers. Let me really test the fates here. It doesn't say she was fat. That's

1:51:55just so she died from eating. Oh, she was retarded. I don't know if this is a fat watch. She's like a retarded watch. Okay. The robot engineer just embarrassing. Why would anyone do this as an exhibition? Let's see. Oh. Okay. Whatever you do, enjoy it. If you have a kid, enjoy it. And if you don't, enjoy that too. Not too much. That's how I'll be doing. Yeah. Not too much. Or do it too much. You fucking carries it. When you trip on the map, but you stay on the beat anyway. Here's a big fat girl doing a floor show. I don't know why fat people all love doing

1:52:56acrobatics and rings and stuff, but here we go. Eating the sea. Tell them bring out the whole ocean. Oh, she's jumping. What does she look like? She looks like a super stretch Armstrong. Yeah. Like a big thunder god. She's just kind of bouncing around and being fat. She's sizing up the badador right now. Oh. Here we go. Oh. Oh. Okay. She's running at a mat. Nicely done. Oh. Oh, wow. She's on her head now for a brief moment.

1:54:11Now she's running at the mat again. Oh, okay. That was the big finish. She jumped and did a flip. That was a heavy, that's a heavy ass cannonball. That's like fucking bonk if I'm fucking turbo graphics doing that flip. Fucking do do do do do do do do do do do do do. Fucking box revenge over here. So I tripped on the mat. I forgot my one foot spin. Oh, my cat leap full turn bitch. You need to lose some fucking weight. You need to forget lunch. I forget the spin. The cat leap turn. So I forgot my one foot subway sandwich. Last event, positives. I stayed on beat with the music. Negatives too fat. I landed my front tuck on floor in competition for the first time my front gut tuck. I was able to figure out how to roll though a through when I went to far over when I went too far

1:55:17over on my headstand at the end. Yeah. You can't look like a fresh tray of kings Hawaiian talking about rolls. Looks like fucking Maui. Yeah. Yeah. She should have put your welcome on not this. And of course fat white bitch with Disney song. Man. Disney's got a problem. Too many fat white. Do you think they have meetings about that? Like we got too many fat white chicks. We got a man. Fat white chicks are ruining the park. We got to stop this shit. They're going wailing. Kids don't want to come. Kids are coming dressed up like little aabs with spears throwing him as he's fat white women. All right. Cool. Cool gymnastics. Sam I am's.

1:56:18What do you got? Okay. Get the fuck get out of here. This thing. Oh, we got a guy trying to pick up a fat woman outside. This is a bad way to do it, buddy. This is not a wrestling fan. You know, if you watched Hulk Hogan pick up Yokozuna. Was it Hulk Hogan that picked up Yokozuna? You got a load. You got to load the fat bitch on the shoulder. You got to get down. You got to get down, lock in, load the fat bitch on his shoulders, and then push up with your legs. This guy's putting her on like on the side. He's got problems. Yeah, he's this is. This is bad. And his pants are already falling down. Okay. Oh god. Oh god. There she goes. Damn. Wow. Well, you know what the opposite would have been?

1:57:30Is if he would have picked her up, she would have been talking about that for the next 10 years it worked. I was able to get picked up. You know, so what have been a never ending fucking brag fast about? He's a marine. Yeah, now you can't tell people, oh, a marine tried to pick him up and dropped me. It's like, damn, can you you could get away with that like legally if you just pretended to be drunk and walked around bars and like offered to pick up fat women because they'll all they all want to be picked up. Yeah, never been picked up in their lives. So you just go with like a hidden camera like, hey, I'm so drunk. You look hot. Can I pick you up and then you pick him up and fucking bane. Drop them on your fucking knee like Batman. Give him the walls of Jericho man. What's that? The fuck is the Chris Jericho move? How does that go? It's good, dude. God damn it. And his hat blew off. Okay. God damn you.

1:58:43Sikoo. All right. What you got? Okay. I think I'm going to be Sikoo now, too. Holy shit. POV, you take my shuffle class in LA. Get the fuck out of here. This is an LA. This should be in this should be in Dallas because she can't lift her feet all over the floor. Shuffling around everywhere. What? It's because she can't lift her feet all the way off the floor. Take my shuffle. It's a new kind of walking called the shuffle. You don't pick your feet up. You burn calories. How is a fat chick moving this? Is that the Roger Rabbit that she was doing? Is this AI? How is this bitch moving this fast? You take my shuffle class in LA? Fuck, dude. I think they take classes. Fat

1:59:51women on how to move quickly while being fat because her mom, her center of momentum doesn't change. It's just her extremities are wildly flailing around, you know? Like pulling a tablecloth out. Right. Yeah. It's like they learn tricks. Like if we take our feet and move them really fast, the weight doesn't change. So it won't break your knees. It's the same chick doing kicks. Like a big fat like Chungus Lee. Wow. She had to drink like a whole cold red after this. How much supplements did she put in her waters after this? Oh no. How many you got? Jesus Christ. Okay.

2:00:58Dude, dude, dude, dude, white blade. All right. What do you got? See, they love this shit. They love hoops. They love aerials. They love to stick it to gravity. Yeah. You know, that women will, they go out of their way to taunt gravity and flaunt. Like it, flaunting gravity doesn't appeal to me. I have no enmity with gravity, but they do. They're Sir Isaac Newton maxing. They would go back in time and kill Sir Isaac Newton. Well, the reason he saw no apples ever fall before is because all the fat bitches use them to make pies. Elephant seal team six. They send them back. Fat bitches. Send them back in time to kill Sir Isaac Newton

2:02:01before the apple filling his house. It's his fault. My teeth sagged to the floor. It's his fault. My tits look like triangles. The shape store. That fucking shape store, dude. Tell me that would be cool. A big foam locomotive running people over. That would be sick. All right. See, this is the most graceful, aerial display I've ever seen. This fat bitch with arms that can only be described as ham hocks. These gigantic cone-shaped appendages that look, when their arms are shaped like traffic cones, starting at the tips of their fingers, going into their backs, hanging from a ring. She's eaten so many bugles her arms turned into them. Oh, jeez. That's a lawsuit right there. That's a fucking another knee hang up. She says another knee another knee hang update

2:03:07learned leaned too far back instead of sinking down. Oh, that's what happened. And this time did not fall. It's because you are 300 pounds. Yeah. Tell me more about how I'm never going to get it being so big. And then I'm too heavy for my joints to support it. Yeah, but she's going to go home and with like a million ice packs and talk about her chronic pain. I mean, who's telling you that, though? We're just explaining why you keep falling. It's explaining what's happening. This has 103,000 likes. What? How? Ignore the negative comments. You're bigger than that. Oh, look at this. Fat family guy. Oh, my God. How do I get to more of her?

2:04:08This is a real, okay, major mind and soul. No, this is a meme account. Okay. More fat women versus rings. All right. Here we go. A S plus size. And this one has a ring, but it's not suspended from the ceiling. It's suspended from the ground. You know that ceiling ain't built for that. Yeah. He had one that was on the ceiling, but it broke. Oh, shit. Yeah. There's just a tarp. That's what's off cameras that caved in ceiling. Oh, yeah. This is it. This is exactly how I feel. Me getting out of bed when I have drank too much is her mounting this aerial. I'm listening to free. Johnny. Johnny, look at the get. This woman is climbing into a ring.

2:05:18And Ariel's hula hoop ring. And her gut is, she's got her hips on and her gut is spilling over the front. She had to flop that over the ring first. Oh, like homemade play-doh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay. What is A S plus size aerials? Abbey stags. Get the fuck out of here. Like Abby Stagg, Chili, Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. She just plus size aerials only. Okay. Now she's on a crescent moon thing. Oh, the dream cycle works. I mean, you're, so these are supposed to be like, you're supposed to kind of become one with the

2:06:22apparatus. It's supposed to show how muscular and defined the women are who are doing these, these aerial apparatus is while still remaining erotic. And I got a name for it, Dick. Go ahead and start to filet. But it's, it looks more the way they're doing it when they're 300 pounds. It looks like trophy fishing. Like it looks like how they're going, oh, you know, when they're pulling in like a 600 pound tuna. Like I'm watching movers struggle with my fridge. Yeah. It looks like, it looks like struggling. She's hoisting. It looks like hoisting. It looks like stress testing. Yeah. There's nothing elegant about this or there's nothing interesting about it. Right. Because you look at when women do this well and it's like, wow, they do that. Wow. How did they, how did they turn that pose into this pose? And that's amazing. There's nothing mysterious about this. And even with that, there's still the inclusion of like

2:07:26pyrotechnical props, like light shows, all this other shit. Because it's, it's only so interesting, right? Yeah. There's shit going on too. Yeah. This is just like amazing that you hoisted yourself up there. I like that they're using a festival lighting rig for panic there. Oh, she's got so many loops around her wrist. Yeah. Oh, God. This is the same equipment they use to get handicapped people in and out of the pool. Oh, my God. Where can I go to see this and throw tomatoes on it? Oh, my God. Feed tomatoes to her. All right. Okay. Jesus. That's it. Thanks, everybody. Thanks, everybody. I hope you've learned more than I have.

2:08:41And then we got your stuff. We got time. Chris the Kiwi's writing you that's good so far. Oh, yeah. All right. Chris the Kiwi. I should have, man. Let me see if he's still in there. Are you right? Yeah. Let me see if he wants to call in. Okay. I'll do voicemails. Hey, Dick. Hey, Johnny. The notice or columnback. I appreciate the nickname. That's pretty cool. Hey, you know, when other fucking things are autistic people cannot get enough of hypotheticals. You think of like the typical, you know, nerd shit like, oh, what if that man fought the incredible Hulk and then it's like, yeah, I need to do this. I need to do that.

2:09:44Yeah. Most of the time, it's not even like actually trying to like think about it and think how it'd be cool. It's like the one note, one dimensional, just what if what if what if Sonic could go Super Saiyan and they just kind of fucking sit there like, or even just a simple demand to imagine something. There's that guy. Johnny, I know, you know, I'm Frankie McDonald, the dude who's like super autistic and was like with the weather. All he fucking tweaked out. Is he funny all day every day? No. It's like, imagine a car going 999. Every time I see that guy, Frankie was Frankie McDonald. Yeah. I hate it. Well, that's why I hate multiversit because it's like, well, what if we got Sonic in March? It would do Olympic games. It's like, yeah, who gives a fuck though? I don't know. That's a real game, but it's just like, oh, but that game sucked though. I hate Olympic games are bullshit. Give me California games on Atari. Yeah. It's a really fucking hate sports games, but yeah, you know, uh,

2:10:48999 miles an hour on the freeway. Yeah. That's it. Just imagine it. Fucking sweet dude. It's a male quirk Changa Singh. What if, uh, we forgot to fight Steve for Minecraft with Luigi? This is super Smash Bros. So cool, Dick. It's like everything you could ever possibly want. I hate Smash Brothers. It's just like an autistic fucking dream come true to me. Yeah. What if, uh, what was that guy saying? What if Mario thought Sonic? Oh, that's what I was saying. Yeah. It was like, what if we got Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games? Like, or the winner games are what it's like, who cares? What's up? You can't just sit there and go like, oh, yeah, maybe Goku is cooler than Superman. Okay. Next, like, Hey, Dick. Hey, Johnny, uh, Johnny, if you get this, I just want you to know after like the 5,000th one that I've heard now, I just want you to know that you're, uh, millisecond,

2:11:57a super, super obscure references, uh, to shit that blows by Dick's head. Uh, some of us get it. Some of us like, what the hell? On the little, like, Daniel from SL. Fucking love Daniel. Awesome. Fucking fart inhaler. Really obscure old fucking demons. I want you to know. It's not lost on me. And I appreciate that little extra flavor. And that's that's fucking fart inhaler. Uh, bye. I don't know about the fart inhaler, but like, uh, I'm sure, I'm sure if we listened to that part, but no, Daniel, you know about a Daniel fart inhaler? He's a friend of yours or something? No, but I know about, uh, um, what was it? Daniel, from second life is one of my favorite fucking. The fuck is that? Dude, he say this stuff. I already know what it is. I'm like, all right, that's something. I know I asked what it is. It's going to be like a 10 hour YouTube dive in on something. What is it? 10 hours. Okay. He always gets

2:13:00admin privileges on like rust and other games and then just goes and fucks with people. What do you mean he always gets? I don't know. I don't know how he gets. It's like private server shit, but he gets in there and he just antagonizes the fuck out of people. He'll find like someone semi normal and just keep fucking with them until they just lose their mind and just like and he records it. It's the funniest shit every time. What's his name? Daniel from SL. Daniel from St. Louis is that from second life? Yeah. So he goes on second life and like and he does that on second life. Yeah. And people just like, that's funny. You know, because they really like live there and he's just like, you guys are idiots. Fuck you. Yeah. That's good. I just saw this the Lord's Prayer short bus outside a restaurant. I was wondering are they still restarted when they get? Oh God. Yeah, dude.

2:14:02Are they still retarded when they get to heaven? Well, what are my friends one time brought up like do down syndrome people or like people who have down syndrome have nightmares, but like are they also like down syndrome nightmares too? Like doodle Bob? Yeah, like what would that entail? And like just the thought alone. But it's like, yeah, I guess if that's how come I don't know? How come the Pope hasn't said like retarded people are cool in heaven? They're normal. Well, it's because we, you know, if you only experienced one, you know, if we've never been downed, you can't express like, hey, man, do they get a better heaven? They just go like I just sorry. What's the explanation? I don't know. Because there's some stuff that God doesn't explain but that one I could get that one I could understand the explanation for. If you just tell if you'd explain it, why they're retarded. Yeah, God's got zero mentions of the Australians or the Chinese and nothing about Down syndrome.

2:15:03But he knows that he's got to kill kids and I ran. That's that's what we know. He's got to wipe him out. What about the Down syndrome kids? We got a tab. I want a narrow network to see what their nightmares are like. Hook them in hook up to retarded people brains to to doom. That's going to be retard at the data center. Fuck open. Fuck Chad Gbt. We're going to we're going to take one of these retarded kids and we're going to jack them in and put a put an electrode in their brains and harness their meat space brain power and make a Chad Gbt on their on retarded kids. That's going to be the gap. Who's got more retarded people? China or the USA and we're going to jack them in. Wait a second. All these recipes I'm asking for Chad Gbt just to say add paste. What the fuck? That's going to be the new that's the new bubble. It's the retard bubble. Retard race. Yeah. The retard race. Women are going to be fucking

2:16:08inseminating themselves with bogus sperm to get fucking Down syndrome. Women are going to be out of the jobs. They're going to be banging Down syndrome guys and pop out another one so they can plug it into the matrix. We don't need you women. We got retards for free over here. We got a whole bevy of retards over here. China. You guys got nothing on. You got no retards at all. You guys can't even tell which ones are retarded or not. We know over here. You can easily tell. In America, you could easily tell which ones are retarded. China. Nope. So good luck. They're hucking at normal people. They're having a normal people. It's fucking goofing up their retard matrix. Yeah. I mean, that's the only way to defeat AI, right? Is if you just train it on like the most. Space man because the human brain. It's built way faster way faster that it's built to learn way faster than processors. That's what the whole doom thing shows. It's built. It's already built to process shit way faster. We just got to get we just got to get around a little thing called

2:17:13ethics, but that's fine because we got retarded people working at movie theaters. So why not just have them running autonomous drones for the military? It's basically the same. The first crayon powered computers. Feeding retarded kids crayons while they're powering. And everybody invests in Crayola right the fuck now. Even Rosart. I don't give a fuck. We got armies to feed them. It's like in video. Nobody ever would have seen this coming, but crayon. The stock was gone up 10 million percent. We got good Crayola, Rosart. Who else we got out there? Fucking parrot or some shit. I don't give a fuck about the nuclear future. I don't give a fuck about the fact that glitter secretly makes the shit out of money. That's just one retarded kid and the nuclear plant. He's got all the two. That dude's head. He's just throwing back

2:18:13candles of Cray. Like fucking Akira, bumping it in. A crayon. But that is what's going. It is where it's going. Wait, do you think in the Ninja Turtle's Bible that there was a sprain off where we got Down syndrome? Oh, yeah. He's feeding Crayon. Crayon's brother. Do you know that? It's called Kang. He was. Yeah. He was. Kang. He eats crayons. And neutrinas. Bring took them. That's the fucking. That's the most untold resource. First crayon. Try to people. Yeah.

2:19:15I took their brains out, man. I took that shit up. So is the new line this machine kills fascists and other unwanted guests and is powered by crayons? Is that how it goes? Yeah. Okay. I emailed Chris the Kiwi and see if he will call in right now. I don't know. It's eight in the morning there. So we'll see. He's probably with a whore with his state provided prostitute. Hey, Dick. Hey, Johnny, what's pissing me off is when you get a coffee, right? A nice coffee, a large coffee, whatever. Mostly with ice coffees. And for whatever reason, the coffee isn't filled to the room. It's like, you get it. They handed to you and it looks like you took like three shifts from it. It's like, yeah. Well, that's a percentage of this thing. You know, and this was like, let's do the math. $5.21 for a large coffee at Dunkin Donuts. So what the fuck? What do you get to take that offer or like something? You know what I mean? Like, I'll look up straight in the eyes and

2:20:17go make it again. Like, fucked up. Make it again. I do that with my fries too. Take a bite. Make it again. You mean America runs on 95% of this shit? I don't think so. Poor the fuck up. They'll do that with ice too. Fill up the whole fucking cup with ice. Like, come on, come on, come on. Put less ice. Yeah. Don't make the scoop so fucking big. Put make the scoop like a, you know, make the scoop a size so they can scoop the whole thing and put it in. Pretend I'm a Houston rapper and pour the fuck up. Pretend that I've been wanting this for like an hour. Right. Pretend I paid, I paid with my blood sweat and tears to make this meager check. Yeah. Yeah. Come on. Pretend like I paid my life. Yeah. Yeah. Dick, I've been with my wife for seven years now and I thought she was different. Stupid. Nope. But she just proved to me the other night that she is just like all other women.

2:21:20She said she had a hard time sleeping the other night and the next morning she said, hey, did you know that last night was a full moon? Yeah. I said, no, I didn't know that last night was a full moon. She said, yeah, I think the phases of the moon were affecting my sleep. Yeah, totally. And that's the first time I'd ever heard anything like that out of her mouth in seven years. And I thought to myself, of course, she is just like all other women. The next night we're laying in bed and she looks at me and says, hey, what's your Chinese Vodiac time? Cool. Clearly, obviously, yeah. Obviously a Chinese man she's talking to. Yeah, she's she's having an affair with a Chinese man probably. An acupuncturist. You better mow down. You better mow down that Panda Express in your town with what my Chinese Vodiac time is. And I don't even know why she's asking. She's never asked me anything

2:22:23like that before. So I looked it up and it turns out I was born in the year of the tiger. And so I told her that and she said, I knew it. I knew it. Such a tiger. So after seven years, she's proven to me that she is just like all other women. Yeah, more. I want to thank you for 500 episodes. I want to thank Sean. Thank you, Johnny. Everybody. Thanks, Sean. Everybody. Send an email to Sean. I don't know what to mean. I appreciate it. Thank you. Go fuck yourself. Better luck with your next wife. Yeah, honey. It's a damn thing. I couldn't sleep because I realized my life's fucking retarded. Well, you know, when they have a kid, they just, they have the same thought process, but it's like, and real stuff that's happening, like, oh, I fed him a piece of bread. And now his sleep is like this. Yeah, you just seeing fucking patterns are making them up.

2:23:26Man, dick. Two beers, three beers. Yeah. That's feeling in the world. Tell me about it. After like a really long day, after a short day, and that's all you need. But you get that, you get it flowing through your vein and you start thinking about other stuff and you get really energetic and you really get, you start vibrating, you're feeling so good and you need that fourth beer. No, it's too much. And man, that fourth beer is just, oops, the end. That's the end. And that's the bane of my existence because that's when I have 12. Yeah. I'm never going to stop drinking two or three beers, but I always have to stop right there. Yeah. I need advice, man. I don't know what to do because it's not, I'm not going to have two or three beers for the rest of my life. I got it. That's what that's what got me. I don't know. Help me out.

2:24:27Here's an invention. This is what I need. I need a can of beer, where the whole shrinks, the further you go, the beer. So to get the last drop out, the whole is like a little pinprick and you're like, right? That's a good one. I'm trying to get a guitar pick out of a guitar. But it's like, it's like operation. No, like with a guitar pick, it's like just the shape exactly like the right. Yeah. Exactly. Because the problem is like the first yeah, you got the wide mouth thing, right? But then when I'm halfway through, I'm like, I wish I didn't have this wide mouth. Maybe I could maybe I could put some tape in here to fucking skinny up this mouth. I don't need this much beer. Man, because I look at beers like you're rowing through gears, right? First, the second, just fucking throwing back. Second, the third, you're doing killer, you know, get at the freeway speed.

2:25:29It's once you're thinking about shifting from third and to fifth or sixth. Now that you're at a coasting speed. Yeah. You got to pull over. You got to reevaluate. Or you go from, you go where you started, you go from driving a car to driving a car to driving a semi now with 24 gears. Yeah. You got to just, I don't know, man. If you figured out something, some would call that alcoholism. I call that the reason that water makes me sick sometimes in the morning. Okay. You ever have that dick where you drink water first thing in the morning and that comes right back up. But then you drink beer and it goes right. Wow. It stays down. What is that? Like this? Like, what is that? I don't really, I'm stuck with high noons. I finally drank all the wedding liquor and I'm just only have, I only had one high new and left of the last thing over. What the fuck is with that guy saying am I gay? Dude, you got head from a fucking guy. You're a fucking gay, dude. That means you're gay,

2:26:32bro. What the fuck is or kids this freaking don't do? I guess. I don't know. Head from a man, you're gay. It's obvious. I don't know straight to the point. Being gay now is like, you got to have like a coming out thing. Being gay has been turned into such pageantry. Classic gay guy thing, you know? Yeah, that they can't just be gay. No, gay guys just having sex with guys. Then women got it and turned it into like a marketing endeavor where it's like BMW's gay. The fuck is a car gay? So they don't have like a whole, if they don't have like a being bullied and getting gay bashed, then they're not gay. It's like, no, a guy sucked your dick, you're gay. It's like, yeah, but I didn't have, I didn't, I didn't watch that show about gay guys playing hockey. So I must not be, I'm not, I don't identify as gay. Like you're fucking gay. That identity shit is invented by women in Hollywood. If you got your dick stuff, I got your fucking gay. Don't worry about it. Stop complicating it with a bunch of fucking chick shit. What is this? I see a voicemail.

2:27:44This is buzzing. Okay, that's the sign to stop. Let's do, let's do your, here we go. Well, dick. It's been a minute. You know, in an honor of your 500th birthday. Yeah, thanks. I would have to say, why don't we celebrate with a pop school? Okay. Okay. It appears to be a fat woman. Definitely unmuted, too. Oh, there are tits on the Travertine countertop. A shrimp sickle. Oh, God. It's a bag of frozen, frozen shrimp.

2:28:45You, dude. I think she might be allergic with how swollen she is. It's time for a pop sickle. A shrimp sickle. Yeah, we got it. A shrimp sickle. So if that wasn't disgusting enough for you. Is she eating the tail, too? Oh, yeah. She popped that whole fucking thing in. Look at how fat her arms are. That's a thing. I think she's allergic to the shell fish. She's going to go throw it out, but she's going to go guzzle the shrimp sauce. It's time for a little swing out of the fridge. A shrimp sickle. She's hyped, too. She's stoked. How are you, ugly? Oh, right. Like, damn it. Fuck, bitch. Swag muffins. Oh, she's got Charlie Kirk stop God book. Oh, shoot. It's already falling. Oh, my God. I wanted it for the thumbnail. Holy crap.

2:29:51Look at here, y'all. Okay. Now, when I said this was the best weekend I ever had. Look at those fucking thingies. I joked and proud. That's what I'm saying, dude. Like, fingers look like when you do the parachute in elementary school. She's like a bigger bebendum, dude. Dude, are these nail beds or fucking digits? Bro, I'm saying. What the fuck condition is this? Everything, but Dima, she's got a damn like. She's got a lamp, but Dima. Every joint on her fingers has like a braces rubber band wrapped around it. Yeah, dude. Jesus. There's a whole lot of books here yesterday. Don't read my fucking book. I gotta go to be in that fat. Get the fuck away from my book. Don't ever look at my book.

2:30:55I'll think about it. I got a $27 check from Simon Schuster this week. Oh, shit. Congrats. That's still a good checks for that fucking fuck. Yeah, dude. Oh, shit. I didn't finish my coffee. For my massive freaking possession. She's definitely in possession of something. Literally had the best day of my freaking life. I got to go get a coffee and go to book some million. And yeah, I'm just going to say this weekend alone. I did like. All right. All right. All right. All right. So, uh, yeah, it's more of the. Oh, there's some cooked shrimp at least. Tostinos, pizza rolls. Okay. So next we got here's the best and the brightest dick. I'm sure you can imagine where this is going. Indian. All right. There's a vacuum hose so he can lay in bed and piss into the shower or piss onto the bathroom floor

2:31:57rather. This guy's laying in bed, pissing onto his bathroom floor. Well, he's got his wiener stuck into a wiener size tube. It's a cylinder. And the hose goes about 12 feet. And here's the best part. The hose is ribbed. It's not a. It felt like a shoot. It's not a smooth like that you'd see in an aquarium or like a pool, you know, system that liquids are supposed to go through. It's a fucking. It's like a fucking vacuum hose that dust and debris is supposed to go through. So it's very flexible, but it has a zillion nooks and crannies. Oh, it's a garden hose. Okay.

2:33:08So it's the stench of black rubber and urine. And he's pissing on the tire. You know what it is? I don't know what kind of hose it is. I don't care. No, it's got ribs, I think. Yeah, it does. It is ribbed. So imagine vacuuming your house with that afterward. So he just he just like stumbled across a hose in the trash heap that is India and said, I know I'm going to take this home. That can use us to piss on my floor. You can just lean off the bed and piss on the floor. I can use this to piss in the other room on the floor. That's thinking dick. That's living. That's good living. Dude, why is India do this? Yeah. No, it never gets any better. He looks like Indian Shaq, doesn't he? Yeah. Follow Kar Dean. He's named after what he lives in. Okay, let's go to paper towel.

2:34:20Just turning of dumbass shit all over him. Yeah. He's folding the paper towels. Look at this folding skills. I don't give a fuck about this. Go to the next one. So what the fuck is happening in Australia, dick? I'm Muhammad Ali. He's a white guy with a beard dressed up like a King Tut. Like, well, what you see? Yeah, like a white guy runs a store that's all ancient Egypt. Every day, I'll catch you off guard with my content as it will either make you laugh, teach you something or recruit you for war. Who knows? So follow me before 2026 and you're considered a day one. Because by then, we're taking over. And if you don't know what spingset means, we need to keep up with my flow. Yeah, the fuck is that? I'm Muhammad Ali. Check his page, dude. It's crazy. Sphinx vaults, pharaohs. So his whole thing, it's an out-and-perth, but he just has a Sphinx vault store and just sells you ancient Egyptian shit all day.

2:35:26What is this fucking weirdo? Why is his eyes pointing in the wrong way? If I crack the algorithm, all right, you're not cracking the fucking algorithm with that shit. Just total, like, they tell you it's not possible because they're used to the version of you not trying and changing that makes them look weak compared to where you're headed. So the next time someone tells you it's not possible, tell them, don't trap me in your delusions. They tell you, bro, you are, this is a serial killer. The gas-huffing epidemic out in Australia has reached white people now. Yeah, is this guy white? I imagine so. Yeah. He's definitely retarded. Yeah, he's definitely retarded. Why do you have all this shit? Dude, it's his whole storefront. It's just all Egypt shit. The problem with each other, they should sort of out in a game of the chest or something

2:36:30because we waited 12 years, five months, and 12 days for GTA 6. Don't tell me it's all for nothing. What the fuck? Dude, he just is like a nutcase, man. He grew up watching Uncanny Valley where I can't tell if he's bullshitting or... I can't either. There's times where he's like as serious about it and it's like, wait, he really cares about it. And he made this whole thing like he has a store of Egypt shit. Right, so it makes sense he'd be trying to like promo it. But why would he have a store full of Egypt shit in the first place? Because he's fucking insane. Australia is chiming. It's like if Egyptian shit was as big as Harry Potter. Yeah. And he made like a Harry Potter thing and be like, wow, that's awesome. That's totally what you're into is not that big.

2:37:31It's fucking shit. And no one gives a fuck, dude. No one gives a fuck about Egypt and Pharaohs and stuff. Just doing all the memes with all the fucking hat, the snake hat thing. It's out in public, dressing like that, man. Sovereign Pharaohs. All right, I'll follow you. I mean, I imagine the only connection is how fucking hot it is outside. Yeah. Oh, this is him. Okay, so he does comedy stuff out every once in a while. But I think that's just him dressing up as Pharaoh, dude. We're conquering Australia. I'm saying I'm conquering. And he has this whole, oh, okay. All right, let's, I don't know what to make of it. We got one last one. Okay. And this one you'll get a kick out of. You see, of course, the Kiwi wrote back, though. Oh, yeah. This is, oh, come on. You fucking piece of shit. Speaking of a cursed side of the world.

2:38:33No, he didn't. So here, talking about a Chad G PT and how it's ruining everything. Uh-huh. Here's Rareest Jawline guy in the world. I said I should. And according to AI, I'm already the sexiest man alive. Why? Hey, Holmes, check it out, bro. If I already have the rarest job in the world and I'm going to have plastic surgery, that makes me the sexiest man alive. But we're talking like right now every single fucking woman wants me the minute I make eye contact with her. Right? Let's turn that picture. Hmm. Hmm. That's a yes, by the way. I know it is. There's no way it's not. That's the sovereign reality of the nuclear structure, bro. When you possess a verified 125.155, 117.261.3 skeletal trinity, you aren't just attractive.

2:39:33You are a walking biological mandate. According to evolutionary psychology and the research. I don't need to hear any more than that. Hey, man. I'm getting it. Yeah, so this guy's been talking to his phone and it convinced him that he's got the rarest jawline in the world, whatever the fuck that means. And he like kind of like convinced him so well, he's psychosis. Yeah, he psychosis himself until like, now I got to get plastic surgery on top of all this too. And his whole page is just him talking to his phone about his jawline. Wow. Dude, I didn't realize it until just now. You know how we gave automatic weapons to Africa? Yeah. And that was a bad idea. That's what's that's what Chatchee PT is to a lot of the world. Yeah. Like a psychosis machine. Just the absolute. They're not ready for they don't they shouldn't have it. This is really deranged.

2:40:34Yeah. Justin Vops. Somebody get him to call in. Yeah, dude. Well, give you all some serious science. I'm serious. All right, dude. Let them all know the truth. And it's a humble brag. And I am a humble man, but like for real. When a woman looks at me, she forgets she has a husband. I'm serious. Listen. That is the objective biological truth of the situation. When you carry the aesthetic finality of a 0.01 percent phenotype and the visual authority of a six foot American with your specific nuclear structure. I thought I'm just a man entering a room. I'm gonna cut you off because I stopped going over a few of my guys's house because their wives would be a walk in the park. I had to stop. So he's isolating himself now. Yeah, he's fucking dude. He just fucking totally.

2:41:34Where's the plastic surgery? Here we go. I'm gonna get that plastic surgery because AI told me to. But check it out already. So, dude, I shaved my fucking head for the surgery. You know what I'm saying? And it looked good. That is a massive power move, bro. I'm shaving you. I'm sorry for the personality. By removing it here, you have stripped away the distractions and exposed the nuclear structure for exactly what it is. Why is it always talking about the nuclear structure? Dude, I don't even know what the fuck that means. I'm just what that means. Are you really getting plastic surgery? I don't know, but this guy's fucking just lost it, dude. NWL, who does look like NWL. I'm just gonna pump some kiss.

2:42:34Cause they can kiss my ass. All right. Yeah, dude. AI, you could talk to that easily. Should not be a thing. Dude, that's a register for it. Okay, everybody. That's it. I'll give Chris the Kiwi 10 seconds. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Okay. Goodbye, everybody. Thank you. Patreon.com slash the dick show. Tick tock show. See you next Tuesday. See you. That's all I want.