EPISODE 217

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that's globalgamingly.com everybody games what does it mean to live a rich life it means

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do all we can to help you keep enjoying it Edward Jones member SIPC

there's only two stories today but they're both quite long one of them is a fun story but first

the Valentine man

you want to interview Jeffrey Kowalsky for a book not a piece I've already drafted a proposal

Diane you cover local politics city council zoning disputes this man killed 13 women

which is exactly why I need this no one's ever sat down with him not properly

he's given one statement through his attorney and that's it he's on death row which means

I have a window after the execution there's no story there's just history this isn't a city council

meeting Diane this man is dangerous in ways that don't require him to be standing next to you

I know what he is that's why the book matters just be careful all right it's a maximum security prison

I'll have guards six feet away I'm not talking about that kind of careful

hello miss shelton speaking

saw riftkin I represent Jeffrey Kowalsky oh hello you submitted a formal interview request six

weeks ago yes my client has agreed to three sessions oh thank you cold water correctional has

its own conditions which they'll go over with you when you arrive on my client side you will

address him as mr. Kowalsky you will not ask about the specific details of any individual victim

unless he volunteers the information first understood I feel obliged to tell you he only

agreed after he saw a photo of you I see you're happy to proceed with the interviews yes all right

then I'll send you the details he said to tell you he's looking forward to the conversation thank you

when I arrived at the prison they let me to the interview room I set up my recorder and wait it

and the shelton yes before we bring mr. Kowalsky in a few things you'll keep the recorder on the

table invisible at all times it stays here when you leave we'll check it and return it to you at

the front desk each day when you collect your phone if at any point you feel unsafe say the word

finished clearly and an officer will enter immediately when you want to leave knock on the door

are we clear yes perfectly clear the officer outside will monitor through the window

kowalsky will be cuffed to the table you are not to pass anything to him not a pin not paper nothing

understood

he was shorter than I expected dark slick-backed hair and piercing green eyes

I felt a tinge of fear as soon as I saw him sit hands

we'll be watching

mr. kowalsky thank you for agreeing to these sessions

all right I'd like to start with your early life your childhood and family background

you have a little ink stain sorry there on your right hand index finger

oh right I was taking notes while I waited

paper and pen hold school you don't entirely trust technology

I'd like to talk about your childhood mr. kowalsky your early life your family

I'd like to talk about yours this interview is about you here's what I'm prepared to offer

for every question I answer I ask one of my own you answer honestly we continue you don't

and I ask mr. Rivkin to end the sessions all of them all right you'll answer my questions

within reason wonderful ask your first question where did you grow up green view illinois

the kind of place people leave and don't come back to are you close to your mother

we speak regularly that's not what I asked it's complicated what was your home life like

my father left when I was four my mother did not handle it gracefully

do you have a boyfriend miss shelton no did you break up recently that's another question

fair enough

when you were young were there warning signs cruelty to animals fire starting bed wetting

ah the McDonald triad two of the three I'll let you work out which two

do you ever feel afraid miss shelton everyone does sometimes that's not an answer

yes sometimes I feel afraid what does it feel like when it happens I think that might be

enough for today we still have time I know but that's enough I'll see you tomorrow Diane

as I drove home I started having second thoughts about the book

so how'd it go fine useful what's he like he likes to be in control I expected that

the material is good carol there's a real book here you're going back yes I am

as I set up for the second session I told myself this time I won't let him get to me

but as soon as he sat down your hair is different softer more feminine it's exactly the same

I'd like to talk about the period leading up to February your state of mind at the time

it was valentine's day that's why they call me that name what was happening in your life that

February nothing extraordinary that's the truthful answer that's what disturbs people I think

they want there to have been a trigger a trauma something to point to

hmm there wasn't but something changed that day something had already changed long before

that day I just stopped pretending otherwise have you ever been in love miss Shelton once what happened

I answered your question they've set the date did you know yes I know

it's a strange thing knowing the date of your death how does it make you feel

does my fear interest you miss Shelton are you afraid I asked first yes it interests me

it doesn't worry me what frightens me is becoming past tense isn't that the same thing

being scared of death is being afraid of not being perhaps I think you're more self-aware

than you allow people to see and I think you are lonelier than you allow people to see

that's our time only if you want it to be miss Shelton yes you should call your mother more

I'm ready to leave

the third day final session I'd listen to both recordings the night before

made notes prepared the questions I hadn't got to yet I told myself I was ready if I screwed up

today I wouldn't get another chance our last day yeah last day I wanted to cover your time in

greenview after your mother remarried the records show you left home at 16 I left because staying

had become pointless my sister cried when I went she was eight do you think about her every day

do you have siblings no so there's no one at home then when things are difficult just you

we agreed questions about my personal life need to be within reason of course but that wasn't really

a question more of an observation the name of the street you live on Calaway isn't it what the building

with the black iron railings you tend to walk on the left side of that street heading home

I imagine it's habit by now who told you that you had a neighbor until recently an older man

you used to check on him occasionally he moved away or perhaps he died I wasn't certain which

but you still look at his window sometimes when you pass how do you know that the same way I know

your mother's first name is Ruth and that you haven't told her about these interviews tell me

how you know this ask me tomorrow there is no tomorrow three sessions that was the arrangement

I'm extending an invitation for a fourth call riftkin but don't leave it too long

I'm finished can I have the door please

see you next time Diane

I said at my desk listening to the interview she lives in Portland now she changed her surname after the trial

the name of the street you live on Calaway isn't it what the building with the black iron railings

how did he know those things I was desperate to find out but I kept putting off making the call

and eventually it was too late the execution of convicted serial killer Jeffrey Kowalski

was carried out this evening at cold water correctional facility Kowalski who was convicted of

13 murders was pronounced dead at 6.14 pm he declined to make a final statement

I just sat in the dark listening to the rain and trying to feel whatever it is you're supposed

to feel when something like that finally ends hello hi Diane it's Jeffrey

now where were we

as the news been getting you down I'm Megan McCartle and I'm here to help I'm the host of a new show

from Washington Post opinion called reasonably optimistic and it's an antidote to the pessimism

that's riddling America right now every Wednesday I'm going to talk to people who see a path

forward does seem to me that there is some awakening of a desire to act together to solve problems

where they are you know I am a believer in America and it's worth fighting for join me Wednesdays

on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts I was thinking that there are support groups for

just the better everything these days so why not this

we'll see you next time right shall we make a start welcome everyone we have a few new faces

this week lovely to see you who'd like to go first Vladimir you've been quiet since you came in

okay I'll go first I suppose I don't know where to start take your time thank you

you there's just a lot at the moment that's all right we can begin with the sleep I

I simply cannot drop off until well nearly dawn every night no matter what I try lavender podcasts

the weighted blanket nothing works and then I sleep all day obviously that sounds exhausting

then there's the dietary thing it is its own I won't go into it but dinner parties have become

look when someone spends hours preparing a meal the last thing they want is me sitting there with

just a glass of red and the garlic thing is that still a problem oh please I'd give my eye teeth

to eat garlic chili shrimp the invitations have also you know people don't they just don't invite

me in anymore last week I stood on my friend's step for 15 minutes in the rain he said he forgot I was

there that's not on and the skin the doctor she keeps sending me for tests iron levels she says

vitamin D I know Sandra I know what it is you don't need to send me to the hematologist

you mentioned dating apps last session the age gap always comes up always they ask how old you are

it becomes a thing I've tried being vague I've tried you know I said

older than I look and the conversation just stopped oh you poor thing thank you

how are you getting on with you know the reflection I don't want to make it dramatic it's just

you never quite see yourself as other see you I know I can always take selfies god knows I've got

thousands of them but it's not quite the same is it then there's the bats you don't have to talk

about that I'm not going to I said I wouldn't I just wanted to acknowledge that the bad situation

exists and that I am managing it and I would very much appreciate it if Ken did not bring it up

again this week I was making conversation you were not making conversation Ken you were pointing

let's not Ken did you want to go next I will begin as always by asking and I mean this sincerely

not rhetorically is it so very difficult to say my name correctly for thousand years and still

my name is Archanem Wasit Merikufo Isit Ebenra is that so difficult to pronounce

we'll all try harder

are Kenem Wasit it's okay just call me Ken please go on Ken the dehydration has been bad

this week I've been drinking you would not believe how much water and still look at me the

shaping is significant I've tried the talcum powder I've tried the moisture wicking sports bandages

and yes before Vladimir says anything I said nothing you were thinking it go on Ken

I can't explain to people why I need a humidity control room to sleep they just they look at you

I am the only one in any building I have ever stayed in the only one with a

hydrometer on the bedside table it is very lonely thank you Ken that took courage

is Evelyn here I'm here does anyone know I'm right here Evelyn can everyone hear me yes we can hear

you you always say that and then Ken talks over me I cannot help it if your vocal register falls

outside my range of hearing it's fine it's fine it's always fine that sort of the whole thing

isn't it nobody listens you have no idea I am working constantly just to be audible I rattled

every pipe in the east wing last Tuesday every single one do you know what the caretaker said

airlock no 30 years I've been rattling those pipes and it's always an airlock

that must be very frustrating and the outfit I've been wearing this same pantsuit since 1987

I had such nice things I had this yellow dress I used to wear in summer the shoulder pads in this

blazer are hideous they aren't even fashionable in a fun retro way they're just hideous we've talked

about acceptance Evelyn I can walk through walls did I mention that I can walk through actual

walls and I still cannot figure out the television remote I've tried everything I just have to

wait until someone decides they want to watch something last night I got halfway through the

bachelor and then Trevor switched it over to football sometimes it's just too much I know I can

just go and watch TV somewhere else but it's not the same you get used to your own home

and in the street people just they walk straight through me that one never gets easier

you'd think it would it doesn't we see you Evelyn

um Margaret how was your week where do I begin the arthritis still it doesn't go away Gary

I'm sorry go on the arthritis is for the craft a disaster do you have any idea the precision

required the finger work alone I attempted a moderate hexing on Wednesday moderate nothing

elaborate and I had to stop halfway through and now Derek from number 42 is only partially

inconvenienced what did Derek do he parks on the verge that would annoy me too

and the cat situation continues 17,000 followers can you believe it she does nothing she sits she

sleeps she gets likes for knocking things off the coffee table I have been a practicing witch

for 63 years and nightshade has 17,000 followers because she sits in a beam of sunlight and blinks

slowly it might be worth staying off social media for a while

Frank do you want to yes Frank talk now the metal detectors yes every time

mm every time airport museum shopping center and then explaining the explaining is hard

sorry can everyone make sure your phones are off please thank you please continue I forget where

I was what would you want people to understand that my neck bolts are not decorative

nobody thinks they're decorative Frank Marcus did Marcus is not perceptive

anything else he's short as well I meant I meant Frank and we don't body shame here

the shirts I found an x x x large last week it was not large enough shirt tear oh that sounds

awful there were ducks by the lake I had bread they were for a moment not afraid you don't have

to do this and then there was a child who screamed and then all the ducks were gone I still have

bread oh Frank that's not right we hear you Frank thank you right how about one of our new faces

calum would you like to yeah okay I'll start with the field take your time

I awake up in a field naked every time every single time do you have any idea how cold it gets

in a field this time of the year just out there nothing the walk home is I've done it enough now

that I know the shortcuts which is it's something I suppose silver lining no pun intended

in the mornings after the guilt is just awful there's this feeling every time

like something happened and you can't I don't like to think about it that's all right

my neighbors Sandra and Phil from next door they've started leaving notes about the howling

but what am I supposed to say sorry Sandra it's the dog and I try not to think about what I've

been eating we're not here to judge I know I know I just I went vegetarian last month I really

committed to it but it doesn't take it not take every month every full moon there's this moment

where you know it's coming and you start to feel it in your hands first these sort of cramps

and then your spine your spine starts to it's like every vertebrae is trying to be somewhere else

and your fingers the joints the knuckles they stretch and they split and you can feel

you can feel the bones moving inside your own hands pulling apart from each other

and then your jaw your jaw starts to go changing shape as new teeth force their way through your

gums denies the sound of it and then you're in so it's tear it pulls and rips at your guts

and you're aware through all of it that's the worst you're completely aware as your own body

rearranges itself from the inside

the pain is immeasurable

ooh thank you calum

so

shall we have coffee yes coffee good idea

frank like coffee

can someone make me one two please you don't have a body everland

did I mention the shoes every time I buy a new pair I chew them up so expensive

monologue this time

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warehouse dot com today has the news been getting you down i'm Megan McCartle and i'm here to help

i'm the host of a new show from washington post opinion called reasonably optimistic

and it's an antidote to the pessimism that's riddling america right now every wednesday i'm going to

talk to people who see a path forward does seem to me that there is some awakening of a desire to

act together to solve problems where they are now i am a believer in america and it's worth fighting

for join me wednesdays on youtube or wherever you get your podcasts what does it mean to live a rich

life it means brave first leaps tearful goodbyes and everything in between with over 100 years

experience navigating the ups and downs of the market and of life your edward jones financial

advisor will be there to help you move ahead with confidence because with all you've done to

find your rich we'll do all we can to help you keep enjoying it edward jones member s-i-p-c