Ep. 98 - Emerson Secret Society

0:00He's standing like this and he's like Thank you. Oh my god. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you What you have nothing to say for yourself What? You have nothing to freaking say for yourself. No Other than that, I saw you played CSGO last night I did not play CSGO last night. I Opened CSGO to check how much keys cost it Can you close the drawer? Why did you do that? Because CSGO

1:03Get into gambling and Overwatch are making big comeback Right now they're making big dick comeback right now And I'm kind of down for it. I'm kind of down for the business for both Let me chug some of this DP so that I'm burping for the rest of the episode Also, this shirt gives me crazy pit stains and I'm gonna have to suck it up because otherwise I'll feel hot When are you going to realize that you gotta start wearing moisture wicking shirts instead of wearing literal sweat rags Wearing what? Moisture wicking shirts. What is that? Like a dry fit shirt I can't be wearing dry fit shirts 24-7. Yeah, you can. What counts as a dry fit shirt? Thing that's a dry fit Any moisture wicking shirt Okay, brand loyalty guy Or you could wear a

2:04Dieta school or Any of the shirts that are meant to keep sweat away from me I'm just a hot pup Because those shirts don't have dope shit on them Am I wrong? That's fair So I'll just suffer Take my socks off I need bro, I let out heat from my feet There's two places on the human body On my human body That I let out a lot of heat The head and the feet Uh That was a good one You have to give it to me, that was a solid one Give it to me, thank you If you're going to talk that quiet, pull your mic closer You can extend it You can extend it It's fully extended No, it's not

3:06There's the second knob Which is probably covered by the sure thing you wrapped around it Fuck you What? Fuck it, not stopped Yeah, okay Thoughts on being an idiot I Don't have a point that I was going to say I started that like I did But I'm just like I let out heat man I let out heat I'm a hot pup I'm a hot pup Like it's hot in here Isn't it hot in here? No You're wearing a sweater That's crazy It is hot in here Not hot You should move the cables so that you're not going to kick it Um, no, leave it Leave it Leave it No Leave it Give me a fall out of my chair Dude, there's no amount of moving it That's going to make it not within distance of my foot I do our dance sometimes

4:06Tell me I'm wrong Yeah, if you want to be an annoying But it's to prevent Prevent what? It'll create feedback Not how that works Well, maybe that's not how it works But that's what happens And you're going to tell me I'm wrong The one who edits Who's edited all 98 episodes of this fucking show Are we in 98? Yeah We're almost at 100 Yeah What are we going to do for 100? I don't know Didn't we replace episode of... We did Which is kind of lame That's the lame of us What did we replace it with? It was the one with Charlie and Luke That was honestly a little early It was like 80 Did we write at 80? It was like 81 I mean, we did 32 and 50 We did? Yeah We bit a little early there too Yeah It would have been funnier to swap 25 in that one But we already had done 25 We had already done 25 I don't know how long we're going to do for 30 Or 100 For 30 Every 30 100 means we've been doing this for more than two years

5:08Nope Yeah Technically now But technically yes 100 means we've been doing this for more than two years 100 would mean we've been doing it for 100 weeks There's 52 weeks in a year Now We also missed Yeah It was fun So it does mean that we've been doing it for two years We've already been doing it for two years 100 would start this Thanksgiving freshman year We've been doing it three years That's not how that works Freshman year Senior year Junior No Because Well now it's Because we started in Thanksgiving So we've been doing So we're on our third year Right now Because that's how time works Right Wow And we're still idiots

6:09Yeah Although we'll have to change the tagline though If I go to L.A. Not if, when What do you mean? Because the description of the show is like What is it? It's like Two petite new-by-all boys were taken from the countryside And placed in big town Boston And now they're finding their way out Or something like that I forget what it is I thought it seems like AI maxing that No, it's like I pulled up I'm misremembering it Meow Meow What does that mean? NYAL I said meow No Not your average losers It's a podcast by two petite little boys Jake and Harvey Who are stolen from their homes And are now living it up in the big city Like I said, it doesn't need to change It's the big city

7:09So it would be the big city Yeah, does that AI yes? Yeah Man, I'm a hot pot How are you going to do that? What do you mean? We'll do Ditchie First semester Meow, we've done that before I guess we could start it at nine You would just Figure out a time that works Yeah, I mean it's not that crazy Or do we record on weekends or something When you leave Moveins the August 22 Oh, it's the fall semester? Yeah I'm not what How are you going to walk I would walk in December No, but surely you'll walk in Later What do you mean? Why don't you do the big ceremony Because then I would have to stick around for another semester No, no, usually they'll let you like socially walk on Oh, I don't know You should ask

8:09I don't fucking care Why would I care The guy who almost didn't show up to his high school graduation You think I didn't almost go to Why? I don't have any reason to Your diploma They didn't give it to you You could have picked it up from the school I could have mailed it to you Also, what the fuck have I used my diploma for since then Literally getting in here Yeah, but I didn't need the physical paper copy I was through Common App No Yeah You didn't upload your final diploma Common App You uploaded a mid-year transcript Yeah, but okay You just got semantic on your ass Same diff Arguably Like one of the fuck I need it for I need it No, I almost didn't go I would have been lame

9:09I was depressed as hell Why would I want to go I didn't have anything to go Your mama wants to see you walk I think my mom in the end was indifferent But it was like And there's enough people that Like some of my teachers I could tell Wanted to see me walk And I'm like, okay What's her name? Okay, also I'm a doctor of chiropractic But it was not Chiropractic Okay, let's stop saying her name So that I don't have more work She was a chiropractor Yeah, you know she insisted you call her doctor Okay, for the record Like two months ago On this freaking podcast I was like Yeah, it's stupid That anyone insists to call you doctor And we specifically talked about her And you defended her No, I'm saying that she made you call her doctor Stop fiddling with that I'm saying that she made you call her doctor

10:09Yeah, yeah I'm not saying anything The way you describe it Makes it seem like you have feelings No, I disapprove of it in the medical sense But For the record I've always been on the shit That chiropractors aren't real doctors And most of them claim to be real doctors No, you switched Like a year or two ago Like a year or two ago Yeah, they're real doctors What are you talking about? They're like they go to med school You switched You switched And I'll tell you that there's a real life reason That I think you switched That I'm not going to say on here Because I don't think you would want me to say it on here But Let's just say that sometimes chiropractors Be doing some weird shit Right? Yes or no? Correct, but I would argue that most of them would say That they're not real doctors Yeah, but you argued they were real doctors No, I'd never said that they would be

11:09I would never trust one to be my primary care Yeah, but you were like They're I said that they have Dr. Ritz Yeah, but they're not a real fucking doctor By literal definition What do you call a doctor that fails at a doctor school? A dentist That's a pretty good joke It's an old joke But it's the first time I've heard it so Yeah, thank you Thank you, thank you I can't imagine going to the dentist office And being like, I could do this I could do that Yeah, in fact, hand me the mirror Yeah, like when you see a job that you want to do You're presumably like Yeah, I could do that Damn, I'm getting sweat scenes at that's crazy You're milking right now I know, I'm lactating Damn I can't Can I tell you that Just put on a dry-fit shirt

12:09Fucking put on your mom's shirt Not that My mom wears dry-fit shirts, so yeah What is this shirt from? What? What shirt? The one that you're putting on This is a YouTuber merch Ludwig Like 80% of my clothes are a YouTuber merch That's the thing People will be like, where you get this shit from I don't want to be like YouTuber merch I'm like, I got it online Good, at least you realize it's incredibly Disappointing to say Yeah, I get compliments all the time on my Bankrupt sweater But you're ripped, so I haven't been wearing it recently I need to get it fixed But uh Like And then they're like, oh, where'd you get it from Ah, online Which is technically the truth It is technically the truth Our slash technically Why is your mic so low Because you made it, excuse me, extend it

13:09What? But my volume levels have been pretty good So, I'm not that worried about I'm a little concerned about your breathing being picked up But what can you do? Your breathing is getting picked up Yeah Yeah, I'm just gonna nitpick the way you... The way I exist Yeah, good You do the same shit to me What do I do? Picking off your socks being weird is weird Tell me that that's not nitpicking the way I exist That's literally not What? Putting your socky hands all over the place My socky hands? Fucking grab you with these socky hands I'll grab your damn bell end with these socky hands That one Your bell end I think the intro to the last podcast was really funny What do you mean the... What's your definition of the last podcast?

14:09It's European Oh, that one? Well, yeah, we do the cold open every time It's a freaking... It's a freaking thing It's a freaking... That's with the abro, it's European Really lefty hanging Yeah What is this like your first time clicking on an episode in like a month? No, no, no, no When I see them in my letterbox You know how they read Your letterbox? Damn, dude, I didn't realize you were getting them uploaded A letterbox for in the big leagues now My subscription box, you know how they auto play Yeah And then if you hit volume up, the auto play was sound I watched till the... So you're just killing our retention I actually know if it's auto plays probably playing Listen, I know ball a little bit Yeah, man I mean like whatever, man So our retention I think our retention is two people That's not retention

15:09That's not that metric You don't know our time retention Bro, I got chosen for the Emerson Secret Society Really? Okay, I guess I'll tell the story There's not much of a story But I just got an email from it Um Like two days ago I'm going into the dining hall I'm like low-key in a rush And there's like just a group of people sitting at the front All wearing masks Not like COVID masks Damn, bro, we fell off hard Man, stop paying attention to that ish That John Everyday, we fell off hard I mean, I can give you serious podcasts And analysis if you want It's just that we weren't good with consistency And so that's all it is I wasn't good with consistency really But like, you know, whenever Um Yeah, I just, I go into the dining hall And mask, what type of mask? That type of mask Oh my god

16:10And they're like, we're part of the Emerson Secret Society And they have... The college is all about And they have signups where you can write your name And your email And they're all like... And it's like a normal signup kind of paper But they're all like torn And like... Yeah, they're fake bloodied And I was just kind of like Ah, fuck it And they had free candy, which is hilarious I didn't take any of the candy But like Do they have gloves on? This is good But having good banter with us Because like, of course Maybe 50% of the people Like, you know, there's normally like You know, half the time you go into the dining hall There's a club there But you just kind of like, don't pay attention Because you're like, I have, fuck it But like, they're very, they grab your attention But then they were also like Had like good banter with some of the people Who are like asking questions So I was like, shit Why not? You know

17:10I just got an email back from them But they said You have been chosen Your interaction with our representatives Has proven yourself to be a worthy initiate Initiate Initiate For the order of the holy macro To continue your journey Please attend the Place In the whatever time Meeting Please respond in a timely manner We should expect your presence We hope to see you there You're encouraged not to waste such an opportunity Praise cod and may you forever swim upstream Sincerely the father macro The order of the holy macro The order of the holy macro Is that a reference or something? I think it is Let me check if I can go From gravity falls From gravity falls Oh dude, I got to let one of my friends know then Really?

18:10Yep Look up the royal order of the holy macro The order of the holy macro The royal order of the holy macro Is a fan-driven unofficial Secret society dedicated to analyzing Decoding and protecting the mysteries of gravity falls Bro, I got to let one of my friends know Who's like Super-Earth Grave falls in I'll text something later That's pretty good That's what college is about You gotta go I will go I think I can go Just go Make plans move Move shit around it I think I can go Yeah, I should be able to go You gotta go tell me how it goes Put it in the G-Cal right now Did you see It's like Like At Harvard there are people Literally curing cancer

19:10And also people Who every Night of the week except for Monday Are in a drag show That goes to Bermuda That's bees man And Will is one of them He does both Or he does the drag show in Bermuda But his character is not in drag But freaking slick The hasty putting show And Covey does tech for it Uh Type shit Like So much crazy shit happens in college Like there's a group of mother fuckers At this school and at my school Who pretend to play quidditch Okay That They've renamed it It's a good thing you remember Because I certainly fucking don't Yeah Dude, I hate phantom noties But maybe your phone got a notification And I vibrated the wood

20:10Um Love D&D right now So no Don't come on quad ball I'm not I'm saying that that's like a thing that happens in college Yeah, I mean like I saw it And I was like shit I don't understand how it works again How does this niche work I don't In Harry Potter or in In quad ball I don't know I thought I figured they should just have somebody flying to DJI around I think it's like One guy I saw like one video on this like a while ago I think it's like one guy Don't be google I'm gonna look it up Or he's like his whole goal is to just be like No, get the fuck away It's like a sumo wrestler Or it'll be like A larger guy who's like He just like stands there With it like holding onto it And then like swatting people away

21:10I think I can't believe this is a real thing This is a US quad ball Cup Why not Who cares? What separates the sport? Game play Rules I don't angle your mic away from you When you read it Dude just let me know how to play I would but I don't know Uh Well you're reading that I'll send this thing to my friend Oh my god It's a dude with a nut sack on the back of him Yes that's what I thought But I wasn't sure if I was remembering it correctly Dude it's literally a dude with a nut sack on the back of him That's awesome I'm shit I'm messaging my friend Send to me Hello of email about it Oh come on Yeah I mean I just saw it and I was like Ah fuck it

22:10Is some shit that I can talk about on stream That's low key I'd be signing on for shit Just being like yeah that's a story I can tell Yeah How's the streaming going? What are you doing with that? How's the streaming going? I do it once a week When I remember I said that's kind of it I haven't been streaming much I've been working on other projects How have your student projects been going? Ah Fine I am so Checked out Of my It's the stranger experiences interest group They're all about like virtual immersive stuff That's what your friends say Yeah What Now you definitely got to go Um Yeah I'll go see what that's about Uh Like I'm so checked out of my classes

23:12Like so Do you know what you should do as a video idea? What's that You should also petition for a table And wear a mask But be the secret Secret society And do the same thing But different Yeah They're like an org trying to become registered this semester That's all about like immersive theater and video games Such four games Honestly seems up here early I'm gonna write back Hmm Hmm Two M's Good to know I'm just gonna type it because I'll take longer to write it out But that would be a funny video Uh What to be the secret secret society Yeah, but what's the story That's a good short but not a good video It is a good short I mean like You know, whenever

24:12It's whatever Anyways, I asked how your Work projects were going Oh, my classes, I'm so checked out I'm like so unbelievably checked out And it's like only week four No, it's not It's like week five Or six No, it's definitely week four I forget which Midterm essay I have for a class is due on Monday Yep, yeah, it's like midterms I'm checked out So checked out I'm like I thought I had a birth It's just Oh, it's close Oh It was so weak It was like an internal mouth one Um What the fuck was I saying I'm just so checked out It's like You know like

25:12Like research projects And shit that are going to be like Like two of my classes are like research projects That are going to be due at the end of the semester And so we're supposed to be working on them Like incrementally up till then But I'm just like you know like one of them It's like okay So I'm doing mine is like a research project into Twitch Because it's supposed to be about like a digital platform It's supposed to be like every week we submit like a shorter essay That's like one to two pages Essentially talking about the platform we choose Chose in reference to like Whatever the topic was for that week So like you know like this week it was moderation The previous week it was algorithms Before that it was like I mean there's a lot to be said about it We read a fucking scholarly article about moderation on Twitch Um And it was like a few years outdated Which was like a crazy amount of outdated But still interesting Um But like you know talking about moderation and how it goes from like What do you count as moderators Well there's like Twitch mods As in like you know the people that streamer

26:12Change their community Yeah but then there's also like you know Twitch staff moderation There's also like You know like how they might Shadow ban some people There's also like you know like Twitch like overall moderation About like you know if they ban Hassan for a week or whatever You know who they ban for however long For whatever behavior Um But it's like you know like I have a Another I have the because it's like a week offset So it's like I have the one the essay for algorithms That's due tomorrow night And it's like I haven't even thought about What the fuck am I right about for it really Um and I'm just gonna write it I'm gonna submit it It's page two and then I'm gonna be done with it And then when it comes to put them all together for a research paper I'm a you know Be faced with the consequences of my actions Of realizing fuck I've been so checked out About this the whole time But you know whatever that's fine Barve I've been I have a class

27:12About music I hate it I don't hate the professor I don't hate the subject matter I just Incompatible with me truly So what I will do in class Is Uh play polky doku unlimited Which is do you remember polky doku It's like a Sudoku but with pokemon But not like Sudoku It's more like a punnit square Pokemon And that it's like fire water type You know water grass Water can learn hydropump You know like that And there's an unlimited mode And I've just been doing that Over and over and over and over and over again Because I'm just like so checked out of that class I'll also when I remember and have the episodes finished I'll try to do like work on thumbnails and shit in it instead

28:14But like you know I'm just like so checked out of my all my projects You know it's like Uh I don't know this shit's easy T.S. Easy You know type shit Like I got a what That's hurtful The idea of your bare toes being in my hood Was unbearable That's hurtful I want you to know Yeah but your bare toes were touching my hood And my bare toes are clean Not true you just said you were a hot pup who is sweating My feet weren't sweating You just said that you release heat through your Clean Genuinely cold I shower Don't Like an hour ago Yeah and that's why you were late by 15 minutes But like you know Nine Round up

29:14You were out of 10 What? Nine goes to 10 No but if you're doing quarter base Who's the base quarter How many base quarter systems are there? Quarter past seven Quarter past seven that's more accurate than seven Tell me that Tell me that quarter past seven Yeah but seven ten is more accurate than that Yeah but I'm saying base quarter But nobody's using base quarter I'm using base quarter You're aware that nobody uses base quarter Why do you want the phone? Because I'm back to make a point But I'm waiting on you to finish your points I don't have any point I'm just rambling I like one topic for this week But I haven't been able to cleanly transition to it And it's honestly not that good for my point Do you know what solitaire is? Have I brought this up yet? I do know what solitaire is I don't know it very well Yeah, why is that? I am currently addicted to solitaire

30:14Right My dad is also Funiously addicted to solitaire Right But here's the thing And I'll tell you how I got on I remember my other topic This weekend I went to an offshore regatta In Charleston Our flight was delayed Six and a half hours But Because their assholes Guess we weren't delayed at the gate We were delayed on the plane And I had an exit road Which means I couldn't recline But I had extra footroom So I was like You know my dad plays solitaire And I could never in the history of ever Let my dad be any smarter than I am So I was like An asshole thing to say That's the sarcastic line But And I was like, surely I can figure this out

31:14But my caveat was I wanted to do it with no instructions No, I mean Figure out the game with no instructions So I downloaded one that has no ads No one do that No one do button Because I don't want it to like help me That was a mistake But Worth it So for my first few games The solitaire there's a deck You know there's a bunch of cards Going in ascending amounts And your goal is to try to get them into Ace to King Same suit I'm explaining for the viewers But there's a deck where you can draw new cards To help you Right I was unaware that once you finished going through the deck Shuffle it and bring it back And I thought that once you went through it once That was it That was it So for like three hours on the time I was like god damn this game is hard I was my dad playing this

32:14And then I tapped it again After it was empty And then it shuffled and went back And I was like oh And then I want a game after that But it's been very interesting I wonder what the best game of solitaire is I also wonder Then have a game of solitaire that you can't win I also wonder How Will gamble on solitaire Can you I'm sure you can You can gamble on literally anything But yeah but that's like saying can you game on I'm sure that there's a sweeper I'm sure there's like a casino version of solitaire Right it's a card game There's also there's a card game I think the casino version of solitaire Normal gambling games like blackjack or poker Yeah but that's not solitaire I'm saying the game of solitaire I don't think there's like a poke Or a I would use to look it up Because my thing to myself was I would look up nothing about solitaire Okay

33:14And so that's what I'm I'm gonna learn it naturally I mean like Solitaire mid It is mid But have you ever won a game of solitaire Yes I used to play solitaire Yeah I mean I wasn't good at it But like I'm not good at it It's fucking solitaire It's like Here's the thing about it You can play it while other people are talking Yeah but there's so many other better games that you can do that with Name one Mind sweeper But you have different computer for that Can you I can't Can you do Do you play physical With a real card solitaire No no no my phone Yeah you can do a mind sweeper on your phone I thought you needed a keyboard No Maybe I'm confused about mind sweepers Mind sweeper

34:15I mean it's mind sweeper I mean I've ever played mind sweeper Mind sweeper Is the goat Deadass I quit solitaire because I found mind sweeper You got to get on some mind sweeper Shit The numbers and flags Yes How do you play So you click on a square Okay The number shows you Around every single square Think of a three by three grid Okay And so if the number says one Then that means that within that three by three grid there is one bomb One what Bomb Bomb Okay Like Hiroshima or Nagasaki And you don't want to click on the bomb What happens if you click on a bomb If you lose The whole game

35:15And you have to restart Unless you have like an undo button In Tetris Okay And so the goal is You have like a giant board Of squares And the goal is to Clear every square that doesn't have a bomb So if you're like Oh I have like Five of these squares here And I know that there's a bomb And two of them Then let me click on the ones that don't have it It's using like arithmetic I think I don't know if that's how you use the turn I just lost my first game of mind sweep run The first button I hit was the bomb Yeah, so you're bad But it's you know It's picking up shit But it started and it gave me some already Yeah, because that's how it works You click and then that's like your Yeah, so then you build off of that And but now I'm dug

36:15Okay That's mind sweepers good shit Mind sweepers The gentleman's solitaire Sorry Not the gentleman's The thinking man's solitaire Yes, okay Mind sweepers, mind sweepers, the real shit If I don't have anything to do On my phone And I have my phone And I have my phone and I'm on like a plane or something Mind sweeper What's the ideal plane movie plane movie And why is it Lego badly The ideal plane movie is a movie that Movie that can be finished domestically Play your mic a tiny mic I'm yelling at you I know, but I grow concerned No, I've looked at my audio though The ideal plane movie is a movie that You Here's the deal Listen to criteria Sure Has to be able to be finished domestically

37:15So can't do We can't have a three and a half hour movie Of course, right You're not nervous about the kids sitting When I'll behind you That's the biggest thing Right Because you can't be embarrassed about the show you're watching So it's both you can't It can't be bad for someone else to watch But also there's been instances where I've been on a plane I want to watch something that's gory There's no one behind me But it's still a censored version Yeah, man And I'm against government censorship You're goddamn right I stand for the first amendment Hell yeah, dude Hell yeah I wanted to watch the pit on a flight It was like when I first started watching The pit is a show that would kill you It is You know Like house You know Like They're fucking dying It's that for 50 minutes

38:15Oh Because it's a You're just deeply concerned all of your roommates It's like It's a show about the Pittsburgh ER department The ER And so it's And it's supposed to be like one episode of a show Like every episode of this show Is one hour in the department So it's like Episode one, eleven a.m Episode two, twelve It's actually a very good show It's really cool But it's like it's super Super stressful Because you're like You're watching them like you know Bounce from like patient to patient As like you know Like the big climax of the first season Is there's like a Suddenly for like two episodes Getting a huge influx of patients Who are like you know shot up and shit Or you know and they're like having to balance Shit of like you know of course

39:15There's like shit of like personal Relationships with whatever and as you do But you know it's like so much of like You're watching these surgeries You're watching this shit and it's very gory Obviously because you're watching like surgeries Of like you know people who would go to Emergency rooms Probably the best show that's on television right now Um But like it is a tough watch But I asked something Yes Asked something Are you calling My why My why It's my brothers My sister is hot Dallas have a question Is your life like the pit Is my life like the pit Yeah You know it feels that way But no okay I've never watched the pit but my friend just explained the pit to me So I'm looking to see the severity index Oh Oh you're talking like is it realistic Yeah no

40:15Oh yeah for sure Really okay Well like one of the more like one of the most realistic uh I think depictions of an ED and a big city Wow So you do feel that way sometimes But not to the extent of the pit Yeah well Already Thank you so much You too thank you Thank you so much Yeah I work uh I work in a cardiac ICU So our shit's a little more uh organized Okay And what is the pit in emergency department Is the Pittsburgh emergency department Okay so they get general everything They get like everything But like a lot of their codes and shit Like yeah we deal with that It's a weird shit but they get like you know gunshot wounds And all that we don't really see that Wow Well thank you for engubbing Yeah man you should watch it's good Okay I'll see you My sister's husband is what I meant to say You should watch it

41:15Are you kidding me? That is like the nightmare of my dream I think it would be so fun The reason why house is good is because you don't actually see anything happen Yeah You see it all in the pit I couldn't do that You see it all It's like If Dallas says it's good I know I can't watch it Because Dallas and I totally disagree on everything Don't be fucking with that They'll get picked up on the mic But yeah I mean it's great It's the best fucking after you leave I'm on watch it There's a new episode that comes out tonight 9 p.m. on Thursdays If I finish my homework we can place CSGO Or over wrong I tried it Here's the thing about Overwatch Here's the thing about Overwatch I have never Been addicted to CSGO So what you're more willing to Demo willing to pick up and put down The thing about CSGO Or about Overwatch Is you have to get

42:15You have to remember your role Do you understand what I'm saying A little bit If I'm a tank I have to remember what it means to be a tank I have to position here I have to use my ability here I have to understand how the players around me need me Especially that it's now one on 5v5 Do you know what I mean? And I would be Dogshit The thing about CSGO Is everyone is dogshit No we're just putting dog shit lobbies Yeah but everybody is dogshit And I don't need to depend on them To do us tasks that I can't also do Like there is no healing So I can't be like Where the hell is my healer I didn't know that deep chief But it is for me Because video games At this current time Until the summer Can only That's such a lie

43:15You know that's a lie You're like until the summer You'll be like Yeah summer time I'll be playing more games As you know I can clock out And then I can just play games And then summer time will come around And you're like I can't I played significantly more video games this summer Than I did ever during last year I can't Are you shitting me? I played so much of that shitty horror game With you guys First of all, wrong and second of all, what? The one with the people I don't think we played that once during the summer We definitely played video games during the summer We did, we didn't play that game What game did we play? Schedule one That's the one I meant That is not a horror game And also you loved it That is a good game It got a little too smart for me though I didn't understand how the weed worked Was I making coke?

44:15I think I was making coke Clip it, got him 4k I think I was making Oh my god I have to tell you what happened in class today Okay, in my sports economics class This guy was trying to play a video Of the Tour de France But it was a YouTube video Embedded in the PowerPoint And what plays before Mind you, this is a Harvard class Is Christy Nome Her DHS ad that goes Are you in a legal immigrant See this runway? That's about to be your new home Because you're no longer welcome here in America But he couldn't figure out how to skip it And so he closed it And he was like, sorry about that And then he put it back up And he goes, I should be able to skip it now And for a second It's just like it's going to play Bang, it plays again It has a skip ad button But he can't get it to skip And then he goes, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry

45:15He like slams shut his computer He opens it again And now he opens it in a new tab Instead of it embedded Because surely he thinks he can And he opens it Same ad again, number 3 And then he goes, sorry And he now just click skip ad No, he was clicking skip ad And he wouldn't skip And he happened again Because I'm just never going to show a video In class ever again It was like, I was busted Yeah, he run must have been laughing We were cackling And he goes, and he goes I promise this is not a targeted ad I do not believe it That's really funny That's really funny And he was like At the end of the class And he was like, I'm so sorry And I was like, nah, but I literally said I was like, they saw you in Harvard and WiFi And knew they had to mess with you

46:15And it's funny He's like a young guy He's like a hip guy And so I just see if like, freak out Just close the laptop Oh, fuck Christy, no, no Facts Yeah, there's no nothing Dude, nice one Got him For that? Shit, I gotta give you a second one for that Nah, it wasn't that good You're getting there though Christy, no Man, you feel like helping me write a noshalant text Who's the bird Who's the bird Well, I'm trying to invite someone to the, to the birthday Because Charlie bailed Why? Because it's Charlie What does he do it? I don't know He goes to a UMass am... I know, I am kind of mad at him for flaking To be honest, I tell him three weeks out I'm like, hey

47:15And he doesn't respond for a day Then drunkenly responds And it's like, yeah, dude, it should work Should be good Doesn't hit me back for another week Yeah, I don't know, someone quit So now they're, they're giving me extra shifts Like, okay Oh, it is job At his job, what does he work at? Fuck if I know Another week goes by, I text him Just the other day, I'm like, hey Charlie How's it looking? Man You know, and I got dental stuff going on So I, I think I can't Dental stuff How far up his ass is he pulling his ass from? Yeah, I was like, all right Dental stuff If you're reaching out to dental stuff That you're like this up your ass Trying to pull something out He's just looking like that I was like, all right man Yeah, no, I'm really sorry I just don't think it'd be too much trouble Right now It'd be too much trouble

48:15Okay, man, sure Are growing in No, you didn't, but that's funny They broke skin for the first time What do you mean they broke skin? Like, they're out? Like, I can feel them for the first time Are you gonna get them removed? No, they're going in perfect place Uh-oh Oh Yeah, sorry Yeah I Still don't want to go to a dentist Why? Because of whatever, because I was like, I'm done with dentists Wait, what, remind me They, they, they, what was it They told me I needed some work done To like cut back my gums Then we're like, ah, nah, you don't need it Unrelated, here's some other shit you do need And I was like, okay And so I go in for that And they're like, huh, we're gonna cut those gums And you did it? And they did it Do you have fuck with you?

49:15Did it hurt? Bad, bad, but I was like I was... Are you relieved of your issues now? No Really? You still have TMJ? No, it wasn't even for that It was because, um... I think like some of my back molars Are growing in at like an awkward angle or something Okay, and the gums are... I, I don't know Um... So it didn't help your problem? It didn't solve it Yeah Yeah What, what dentist you go to? Kids only dental Same one I go to Yeah The one by vehicles? Well, they have multiple ones around No, but are you going to the one by vehicles? No, but I don't remember which one they was at I think I was in the wall in inhale But I went to for it I mean, it's the same fucking doctors Do you tell me same doctors? Yeah Well, they move around

50:16Yeah But I'm not going to them anymore Yeah, fuck them You know where I go now because I'm not a kid Where? My friend from dance her mom owns a dentist place in, you know Admittedly it's dental cow So it's a hike Like it's not convenient, but I know she's on her ship Yeah No, I'm done Dude, fuck that first I don't need dentistry I've never gotten in cavity Same So why would I need it? I don't have any Yeah, but that's not dentist That's worth it And I'd be going to some other doctors about my jaw So why the fuck do I need a damn dentist? You have one dick Yeah, it's because I suck too much gnaw Yeah Do you like that one? I've never heard anybody who's not British say the word knob Yeah, I suck too many balance

51:16But I'm interacting with more British people recently No, I mean like I'd love to make fun of British people Yeah, fuck them Talking about dentistry What? They could use some over there They have dentists over there Yeah, that's what I'm saying They have, they just have carpenters They're like, yeah, I can't use that bit of a knocking Yeah Dude, there are two kids Who sit right next to me Or I sit across from my table Like it's a four person table Me, them too Both from Britain Who are them And this girl, you know that You know the picture of In England who are just orange No You know what I'm talking about It's like a stereotype of British teenagers Oh my god There's a kid in one of my classes who says he's British But he doesn't have an accent

52:16There are a few of those around and they're the really, really, really wealthy ones I kinda like don't believe him Like where's the accent boy Talk to me about some beans on toes Do you know British people don't eat peanut butter and jelly What do they eat? They just, they don't eat it That sounds fun Yeah, but they're like I was one time listening to a British podcast And they're like yeah, Americans eat peanut butter and jelly What the hell is that Like the fuck you talk You don't, I don't eat peanut butter and jelly But I know what it is What they're called chavs You're a ch-don't call me a chav Chavs, I hardly know her Okay, but what do I text this person I'm trying to like nonsulant Invite them to the thing You know, type shit Send them the picture That's not nonsulant That's super nonsulant The picture Yeah That's the most nonsulant that you can be

53:16That picture is not nonsulant You're talking about this picture Yeah, that's the most nonsulant I've never seen that woman once in my day No, it's not, but this is what they all look like They're called chav girls And she looks exactly like that But she has like designer glasses She's like a must be a rich girl Design her everything And the other one is a rowing dude Because rowing's really big over there Okay, but they're both first years And I just pounded these fuckers For an hour Every Tuesday and Thursday Just being British Like, I'll show up I really like tea And I'll be like Brought me a tea with me to die Oh my god Like I'm not looking for the best This is English breakfast PG tips in it PG tips You know me Nothing in my drawing Nothing but water and tea

54:16I don't do any milk I will do that to them As they tell me about how they read the readings They're like, oh, did he really Boy, boy, boy That's a quite good look at that in it Wow, you have really thoroughly gone through those Haven't you? You massive bloke Have you got one six three in it Oh, I mean, that was a telephone 190 centimeters in here How many centimeters is your penis? That's just so annoying But awesome I do it constantly and the girl really hates it Because the girl I can tell Is from like a wealthy family where she can do whatever she wanted So I just fuck with her like crazy I literally go Oh, so where are you from Couldn't be from London, you look like shit Oh, you're probably from Wales Oh, you have a little peachy fun With the shit back then Yeah, what is that? Oh, we know what you get up to with them What you can tell me, you're from the Royal British Navy Oh Oh, oh, crying

55:16I think I was a little lost right in there Bloody hell I think I'm doing an Australian accent this whole time It's easy to slip into If you don't refine your palate Yeah, the image is not nonchalant And the image is actually very nonchalant Who's just not nonchalant? I think it's pretty funny No, I would send the image I don't know this person that well though That's funny So you're gonna drag me somewhere where you don't even know The people you're going Who are going? No, well, okay, that's not a good way I do know this person's coming to this thing Fucking, I don't know It changes by the day as people flake on me Confirmed you My friend Claire My friend Molly Do you want me to bring Maddie Well, the concern, I thought about it The concern is that The bowling place you can only have like Six to a lane, correct? We're seven

56:18But so like, you know, what is that? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven But I saw like, maybe Let me know a day off If you're lack on a lane, Maddie will come Yeah, I mean like I don't know It's like Because it's a It's a solid Four You named four Four total You named three people, including me and you Yeah, so that's four And then I have one maybe And then, I mean, I need to invite this person to see if they're down But then that's six Yeah, that's why he said, let me know a day out If you're lack on a lane I mean, it's like, yeah It's not the end of the world If like, I don't know

57:18What can you do? What can you do? People are going to flake Don't worry, I know that well It's annoying, man It's hard because it's like Like, what do you do? It's like, do you not This is like getting into real territory But it's like, okay, you flake Then like, I just want to invite you I want to do shit with you less That guy's kind of annoying, man That you're kind of flake Like Do I plan anything anymore? Yeah, but you live like a monk I live like a monk You have the emotional needs of a monk What does that mean That you're like I just need to talk to one person a month I'm okay I'm pretty true on this That's you type shit And I'm not that type shit But it's also like

58:18Like, I don't have enough people under the belt Where it's like, oh, it's not sweat if you flake Because like, we got 10 other people coming Like, nope, you're 20% So if you flake, it's like Yeah Like, that's kind of a dog Yeah, I don't It doesn't help, college students What about what's your name? Gloucester She's a maybe The Kara Yeah, she's a maybe She's supposed to get back to me by tomorrow Yeah What about your friend that went to Suffolk? I don't keep up with her I mean, we're like chill, but like She's still here She graduated early She's finished I think so Maybe she's getting her masters, but I don't know where I know she graduated Suffolk early That's how garbage Suffolk is, by the way Your first dog is holy shit

59:18I gotta get the fuck outta here I mean, I don't know I'm figuring it out The image is not known It's a lot to send it Jake, you have to have people Listen, here's what I've learned In my many years Yeah Every day I grow older Do you know this? You either got friends that are there Because you're you Or you got no friends at all And either way, it's better than having fake ones That's kind of damn true Listen I had a lot of friends freshman year And look who I got I got my four boys The four horsemen You know what I mean? And those are my dogs Have you seen the thank you video? Sorry, this is totally irrelevant I do have a thought I mean, I agree with what you're saying There's a video I really like by Naky Jakey He talks about this

1:00:18In context of dating And getting your heart broken But it's like, oh you know That over me Because Chad doesn't have extra long burps And has like a big massive penis But like, do I want to be Chad Because if I if she If she needs me to be fakey Jakey In order to get in a relationship Then I'm not Naky Jakey I'm fakey Jakey But that's besides the point Have you seen the thank you video? It's this video of this marine And he's like He's standing like this And he's like Thank you Thank you Thank you I think it's even worse than I think he actually has his hands on his ass If I remember correctly Let me pull it up for you Dude, it's one of my My immediate auto-complete YouTube is the thank you

1:01:19Oh no, he has his hands on his feet Thank you Oh my god Thank you Thank you It is drill sergeant make them good No, I think Dude, that has to be a punishment There is a giant Trump flag behind him I have a feeling that that's not An official military order to do this Thank you Oh my god Don't stand up and do it again Stop Dude, he does it How does he do it? His proportions are so My arms aren't long enough to like How would I do this dude Think about it You took anatomy I didn't Oh it's because he has his legs out to the side He does it like this That's like

1:02:19I don't even know this is afraid You better hope that it's not You do not need that Pulled around on the internet Like my Oh my god, keep my contact It's like It's like I can't do this How does he Thank you It's not Hard movement Terrific Dude

1:03:19Thank you Thank you It's so fluid Oh it's because he's like Perpend, he's parallel His back is parallel to the ground Oh I gotta do that next time I'm glad you're getting form tips Dude now I think of that though Whenever I think someone feels something I just think to myself Thank you Thank you Thank you I think I I What was it? The other day a friend I asked a friend for something They responded I just sent that video Yeah I asked my friend To look over something in the AI video Because she was an expert on it Did she respond to what you sent No What do you say to that

1:04:19Thank you I have one friend who really loves that meme No I was like have you seen this And she was like yes Thank you Why do you invite that person I did That is horrific Thank you Don't stop Why? Come on Dude the 100 episode specials Will both do the thank you post